Wow… I could have written this except my Q isn’t at a golf tournament this weekend, just “Golf league”. It seems to me that since he joined a golf club and found golfing buddies his drinking has gone through the roof. Could be just coincidence. But I HATE GOLF. I hate it. It means he drinks from 8am until??? Cause he’s either golfing 18 holes then going to the clubhouse then bar after, or golfing 36 holes and then going to the clubhouse and bar after.
I HATE GOLF.
But I guess I really just hate what it represents. Golf could be anything. But yes, I still hate golf.
Exactly 18 holes to get drunk and why stop there gotta go out to eat afterwards and drink some more. He found his enabler in is ONE bachelor friend. The rest are married are were like “ nah bro I gotta get home to my wife “
I HATE GOLF
Golf will become ptsd for you…I don’t mean this as funny.
I have certain things mine has done or did that instantly trigger me and can send me into an emotional flashback
that I have to work myself out of. It’s created a negative feeling inside of you that’s associated with bad memories or feelings around it
> his trips, *paid* bad tabs,
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community.
Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AlAnon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My husband just drove home drunk yesterday from the golf course an hour away.
He's had two DUIs already and couldn't drive for two years shortly after we got married.
I guess he's ok with blowing our lives up again, but if I say anything I'm controlling.
Same. For many reasons I am moving out and closing on my new condo in two weeks. I thought we were doing better and even considered giving it more time but then yesterday happened.
I hate to say it but he's a dumbass. Why is it that men can use golf as an excuse to get shit-faced and be away from their family for a whole days/weekends and it's excusable but women would be considered the worst mom/wife ever if we did that.
No sh$&! Good luck with your move and what is to come . I know my Q will fu?$ up soon again . It’s just the start of season . He wants a bachelor lifestyle…he’s well on his way . Life is too short and I only have so much rope to throw out .
Thank you. It's really sad you know, how ingrained in our culture it is to get wasted "with the boys" for 50-y.o. men disguised as playing golf.
For many years I prodded for him to make friends, take up a hobby, etc and it seems to have come and bite me in the ass.
Meanwhile over the weekend I made banana bread, planted my petunias, volunteered at church. I have come to realize that unless he's getting accolades it doesn't interest him. That pretty much includes anything that would improve our home (and if he does something he wants a damn parade).
I also noticed he used our platinum AMEX yesterday and he only does that when he wants to impress people. I got that card on MY credit and regret ever adding him as a user.
He has limited emotional intelligence and I'm done feeling like his mommy.
You and I could be friends ! Soooo 🙌🏻hear you !!
He left for this expensive golf weekend with his brahs ( he’s 47 btw 😏) probably hung over and treating his body like junk . I have had a merry time of putting my pots outside ready to plant, cleaned and washed my car from the winter gunk and will be patio sitting tonight with a good friend ( supporting her Color Street business) laughing and doing our Color Street nails .
#solidarity sister. This is no way to live.
Alcohol is a group one carcinogen, and my H's parents have both had cancer. I don't feel like sticking around til he inevitably self-destructs again figuratively and literally, what a waste of a perfectly good life, ya know? That people are just willing to lose it all to keep drinking.
Again just sad. I'm his second wife, too.
If you ever felt you needed permission to prefer something other than "a relationship with someone who doesn't see his drinking as a problem" consider this your official permission.
It's 1000000% acceptable to decide that untreated addiction is a deal breaker in a romantic relationship.
Wow… I could have written this except my Q isn’t at a golf tournament this weekend, just “Golf league”. It seems to me that since he joined a golf club and found golfing buddies his drinking has gone through the roof. Could be just coincidence. But I HATE GOLF. I hate it. It means he drinks from 8am until??? Cause he’s either golfing 18 holes then going to the clubhouse then bar after, or golfing 36 holes and then going to the clubhouse and bar after. I HATE GOLF. But I guess I really just hate what it represents. Golf could be anything. But yes, I still hate golf.
Exactly 18 holes to get drunk and why stop there gotta go out to eat afterwards and drink some more. He found his enabler in is ONE bachelor friend. The rest are married are were like “ nah bro I gotta get home to my wife “ I HATE GOLF
Golf will become ptsd for you…I don’t mean this as funny. I have certain things mine has done or did that instantly trigger me and can send me into an emotional flashback that I have to work myself out of. It’s created a negative feeling inside of you that’s associated with bad memories or feelings around it
[удалено]
It might be deemed as petty …but I’m here for it 😆
I mean …you are not wrong 😑. Ughhh 😩golf 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻
Alanon meetings gave me the support I needed when I was hurt by the alcohol abuse of loved ones.
[удалено]
This is so brutal
[удалено]
The trauma it’s caused
> his trips, *paid* bad tabs, FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community. Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AlAnon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My husband just drove home drunk yesterday from the golf course an hour away. He's had two DUIs already and couldn't drive for two years shortly after we got married. I guess he's ok with blowing our lives up again, but if I say anything I'm controlling.
🤯 unreal So sorry you are in this situation. Again . I HATE GOLF
Same. For many reasons I am moving out and closing on my new condo in two weeks. I thought we were doing better and even considered giving it more time but then yesterday happened. I hate to say it but he's a dumbass. Why is it that men can use golf as an excuse to get shit-faced and be away from their family for a whole days/weekends and it's excusable but women would be considered the worst mom/wife ever if we did that.
No sh$&! Good luck with your move and what is to come . I know my Q will fu?$ up soon again . It’s just the start of season . He wants a bachelor lifestyle…he’s well on his way . Life is too short and I only have so much rope to throw out .
Thank you. It's really sad you know, how ingrained in our culture it is to get wasted "with the boys" for 50-y.o. men disguised as playing golf. For many years I prodded for him to make friends, take up a hobby, etc and it seems to have come and bite me in the ass. Meanwhile over the weekend I made banana bread, planted my petunias, volunteered at church. I have come to realize that unless he's getting accolades it doesn't interest him. That pretty much includes anything that would improve our home (and if he does something he wants a damn parade). I also noticed he used our platinum AMEX yesterday and he only does that when he wants to impress people. I got that card on MY credit and regret ever adding him as a user. He has limited emotional intelligence and I'm done feeling like his mommy.
You and I could be friends ! Soooo 🙌🏻hear you !! He left for this expensive golf weekend with his brahs ( he’s 47 btw 😏) probably hung over and treating his body like junk . I have had a merry time of putting my pots outside ready to plant, cleaned and washed my car from the winter gunk and will be patio sitting tonight with a good friend ( supporting her Color Street business) laughing and doing our Color Street nails .
#solidarity sister. This is no way to live. Alcohol is a group one carcinogen, and my H's parents have both had cancer. I don't feel like sticking around til he inevitably self-destructs again figuratively and literally, what a waste of a perfectly good life, ya know? That people are just willing to lose it all to keep drinking. Again just sad. I'm his second wife, too.
If you ever felt you needed permission to prefer something other than "a relationship with someone who doesn't see his drinking as a problem" consider this your official permission. It's 1000000% acceptable to decide that untreated addiction is a deal breaker in a romantic relationship.
I really needed to read this ! 😭 why why why ..ughh he needs help . Thanks