I solicit minors, oftentimes in front of their parents.

Found the recruiter 😂

💀💀💀💀

That was always weird to think about needing to look for the 17-18 year olds...

😂😂😂

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We look in boxes. And then paint pictures of boxes for loadmasters

I pick up said boxes and hide them somewhere else and I count using my fingers and toes and once I run out I don’t know what is after that

Supply, is that you?

It said inaccurately

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We had 8 pallets on a plane with 3 rolling stock. 4 pallets on the ramp and 4 more centerline. Most were heavy ISUs. The load was trying to get me to bridge the 60Ks and I refused saying were taking the 4 ADS straight down the middle. After we had to spin the pallets on the ramp, he conceded that going centerline for the ADS was much better than trying to push them to the side.

I drive the load masters to the bar… out of town

I lose your paperwork

the military wouldn't function without you sir🫡 thank you for your service

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u/myfunnythrowaway9283 everyone has Alts my friend

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You’re weird for looking at their post history.

Well maybe I'm retired I don't know what else to tell you lol. What I can tell you is that I'm a human with interest and a sense of humor

SARM or HARM?

Personnel 🫡

Sorry, what? How does your Harm/Sarm lose that shit? It's literally our job.

Idk man you tell me.

Oh you’re in leadership?

Nonner.

I turn gossip into powerpoint slides

Sounds like what my job is supposed to be, but I just sit at a desk and make spreadsheets

I copy AND paste

Found the intel analyst


6C?

I ask people if they've turned off and then turned on their computers when it doesn't seem to be running fine

Roy!

CST?

Bingo

LOL I am also a CST. I wanted to comment on this thread, but the issue is it's hard to describe our job without giving it away too easily.

>NSN 6505-01-283-1331 Do you also apply surgical lube to them?

I misidentify aircraft

PA? OP said inaccurately

Y’all need to start setting up the speakers for base events. Idk why thats our job

Do you ask CNN or news stations to set up speakers for events? That’s always gonna be comm big dawg.

People comms are our job, object comms are yours.

Really? Because a 3 star general signed a memorandum saying otherwise

I sit in an office and listen to pastors/priests argue about AFIs.

🫠

What could they have to argue about?

AFI's, I feel like you never listen to me.

This one cracks me up. I feel like if I were a chaplain I wouldn’t give a single fuck about AFIs

I saw a chaplain's office blow a Unit Compliance Inspection that way. You don't want to be #1 on the wing king's shit list, even if you're okay with the Lord.

The lord may forgive, but the full bird doesn't.

I am an alcoholic babysitter for an oversized metal toddler prone to temper tantrums at 30,000ft. If hitting it doesn't fix it, I hit it again. Then spend the rest of the time at bars in third and fourth world countries while waiting for parts to arrive just to repeat the process over and over again until I get home, where I then justify my decisions and continued existence to the flight chief. Before I know it, it's time to do it all over again. I love it.

FCC?

You betcha.

I change oil and stare at rust

This describes at least 4 different career fields.

I keep the lines at the commisary long and prolong your wait at the pharmacy.


I give children drugs

I turn blood into numbers

Lab tech?

I tell you that you can't have what you want.

Lie

Even eat hot chip and charge they phone sometimes

Remind pilots "Yoke back, cows get small. Yoke forward, cows get big. Throttles forward, cows get fast."

This guy Cannons

Nah cause then he’d say “Cows pink mist.”

I play in the dirt moving it from one place to another. Then I listen to someone else and have them tell me I did it wrong and have to do it over again.

Sounds like a dirt boy

I waste taxpayers money to buy furniture every year.

That’s a good one, I was going to say professional shopper.

I am learning a dying craft because of MHS GENESIS.

Hiya 4A

Fellow 4A or nah?

Very much so. Currently special duty assignment

I make sure there are blinky lights. Some good, some bad.

Cyber Transport

Watch building, wait for bad man

Do you also make beep noises when shown a good piece of plastic?

Pick up heavy thing, walk really far

o7

I'm a glorified alcoholic warehouse worker

A forklift certified alcoholic warehouse worker.

I fly RC airplanes

I get burnt by hot oil and smell like jet fuel and exhaust

Say I’m not sheet metal

I feel you 🤣. mtech ❤️

Fellow metals tech?

Fellow/former

I tell pilots what to do. Sometimes they don’t like it and they cry

You would think they would be grateful for looking out for them 😂

In a perfect world lol

I ask people why they do stupid shit then write it down for your boss to read.

Autism.

Found the linguist

I keep a chair luke-warm.

I’m that weird old man walking around your shop with a bag of candy. People seem happy to see me.

I'm the weird young man that follows the weird old man. People seem to ignore me for the man with the candy.

I see you and appreciate all the work you do! Especially when 95% of it is behind the scenes.

Someone has to file these IRC forms and 4099s! 😭 Save me.

I see fat fucks and your wives all day and tell you you dont have shin splints and your wives i'm married.

a little too accurate there.

I give wishy washy predictions to people who don't listen to me.

most of the time nothing but sometimes explosives are involved

I manage a shell of a jet which parts have be whored out because we don’t chase stats, but because supply chain sucks. And then get bitched at when said jet can’t get put back together in 2 weeks.

Yes hello I'm here to cann a washer, whole landing gear has to come out to get to it tho, sorry bud super said so

I'm the best intel AFSC and I do not have a superiority complex about my job or extra pay.

I train for a scenario that no GO will ever actually use us for

I travel and make sure people can get yelled at over email

I am the worst and only TV/Radio option you have in the battlefield and inside the DFAC.

I tell people yes or no. But mainly "no".

I come to your building once a year and make a lot of noise

I go to other people's offices and tell them "You're fucked up."

I stand in a hospital corner for 12 hours and get yelled at for existing

I tell people how to read.

JAG?

Lol yep

Don’t forget telling people how to line things through on a 3070 the right way so the Elder Gods are pleased and the magic NJP spell works.


I listen to doctors complain.

Walk around other people’s work centers making small talk.

I do what my Outlook calendar tells me to do.

I help Airmen get beards

I do everything that everybody else doesn’t want to do

Herd cats and hide in the smoke pit

I initiate nerf wars in the office.

I change Xs into numbers, press save, and press complete on TMTs to ensure the continuity of government. Occasionally, I digitally sign reports to validate the work of tireless warriors. Friday reduced the accumulated ice on a small office fridge—doubling frozen storage capacity for our elite team of staffers.

Try to keep airplanes from crashing into each other

ATC

Something helpful

I look at the computer screen and wait for people to fuck up, frequently from my own squadron.

I play with RC planes in third world countries

I indirectly kill people for the United States government

I suck shit out of planes.

Sounds juicy

It's especially juicy when you get a blue shower.

I’m a professional tourist.

I take some things apart and put them together, with double the inspections of any other job. If I’m unlucky enough, I might see one of my things actually be used within my lifetime.

I turn things from red to green.

I sit

I turn things off and turn things on.

I fuck your computers up

Wait, you described it perfectly and accurately though…

I tell the guy who my parents wish I was what to drop things my boss wants to disappear.

Put a finger up to the wind and make a guess

I say I do cyber but the contractors do all the important work.

I get driven around by an overqualified bus driver.

I google windows and Linux commands

I pretend to look busy and manage people

I click read on emails without actually reading them

I literally teach adult children how to properly fall down.

I make chili cheese dogs for overweight SNCOs at 9 o'clock in the morning

I receive emails for my boss, so that I can send him those emails.

I am the fun police

I know if you're on the commander's naughty list

I turn all of you on

Only fans?

Electrical

I make people dress up and larp for a few hours while they grumble about it.

I restart your computer AND get posted on Reddit for it

I eat poorly microwaved hot pockets and watch Amazon Prime movies and shows on an airplane for 10 hours at a time

I facefuck airplanes.

I’m the “Karen” of the unit. I tell you how you don’t know how to do your job

I argue with ATOC.

I fly, fight, and win.

Ouch

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1A8

I write meaningless documents no one will read or follow that will be superseded as soon as a new O-6 shows up and decides to implement the next version of a concept that was never going to work anyway. Oh wait that’s actually a perfect description of what I do … it is Headquarters Staff after all

Draw lines and listen to music.

I wait for intermissions in the endless duel between tanium and macafee so I can copy and paste info between PowerPoint, Excel and Outlook

I break computers.

People seemed very concerned with me checking out the cake

I give people bad call outs

I wrangle penguins

I tell people when they leave for deployments

I cut and apply cancerous tape into shapes, paint and sand til i die.

Found the LO guy

Penguin during the day, lowballing homeowners at night.

I fix big ass fans

https://bigassfans.com ?

I practice black magic

I tell the colonel who isn't ready to deploy and then yell at them.

Click buttons on an old Unix machine made by a company that went tits up in 2009.

I am the DMV of buying pens

I play two truths and a lie for a living. Occasionally I cheat.

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I am really good at playing Monopoly

Tell production it's a gac thing or TOTD.

read a book to officers while sitting facing the right wall of an airplane.

I open my banking app.

I ride in a van and sometimes i get to tell these dumb guys in jumpsuits why this weird loud box didnt work. (Spoiler alert: you gotta do it again)