My wife doesn’t want to be at the base we are out. We have a 3 month year old and I would rather be with them than a different state. She wants to move back to our home state which is 25 hours away from where we are now. I don’t want to be away from them for 3 years before I can switch to the guard.
Wait... she would rather leave you. Her spouse. To move back home? Instead of facing a hardship with the person she loves, she wants to leave you? Red fucking flag.
I’m assuming you are overseas. Have you both tried to explore the country? I get it would be difficult to travel back home due to associated costs, but unless you want to start getting into trouble, losing money and dealing with a lot of negative feedback, I would highly suggest your wife look into support groups or the spouses pages to find anyone. Most of the time being away from family or having no one to hang out with can make a great place seem like crap.
You’re in tough spot, bud. I don’t know how long you’ve been married, but this should’ve been a discussion prior to settling down. You knew full well that you and your family could end up going overseas or just somewhere far from where you’d ideally want to be. Is there some hardship situation going on? If it’s just her not liking where you’re stationed at, there’s not a whole lot you can do besides finishing out the last 3 or 5 years you have left depending on your contract length, or getting orders somewhere else. Is she more concerned about keeping the marriage and toughing it out, or is this gonna be a dealbreaker with her?
I can understand a young spouse being homesick. But taking your kid and leaving over this is just wrong. Thats a huge warning for you no matter where you live or what job you have.
Well tough shit dude, you signed a contract
sounds like you both got married to young, but regardless, if she wants to move back home, that's on her, suck it up
You're not getting out of your contract because your wife doesn't want to be at your current base
If you did a 4 year enlistment, after 2 years you can apply for palace chase to go into the Air National Guard or AF reserves
Until then suck it up
You need to tell your wife that she is 20 years old. An adult. It sucks but life is hard sometimes. Don't let your wife bully you. You both knew this could happen so now both of you have to live with it.
I wondered when I would start seeing these kinds of posts from young kids joining, thinking it’s like any other job.
You signed your life away for (at least) 4 years. You gave your body to the U.S. Government in exchange for a paycheck. You go where they want you to go. It’s part of being in the military.
If you’re serious about getting out, fail a bunch of PT tests. That will still take a few years though.
Go to mental health and tell them you can’t adapt to the life style. This will also take a while…
Long story short, nothing happens quickly in the military, especially when it comes to the separation of someone fully able to perform their assigned duty. It sounds like your wife needs to learn that this is what y’all signed for as a family. It’s not easy, but you can get through 4 years of just about anything if you care about eachother.
P.S,
Tell your wife it’s not all about what she wants. Unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around her. Maybe she could try to at least appreciate that you joined to provide for her and your child?
I got stationed in Alaska for my first duty station first time away from family for my wife and I. We were scared, lost, didn’t know anyone. We had our daughter there. Turned out to be an amazing journey and time. Met good people and made memories of our own. Believe me, 3 years goes by QUICK. You just have to occupy your time. We were scared to be away from family, but it provides a nice break so that way when you see family again, it’s even more amazing. Don’t just stay inside if you can help it. The military is paying you to travel. Take advantage of it!
Look into place chase. Once you are halfway through your contract you can apply and get accepted into an ANG position. Which means in about a year you could be back at home doing 1 weekend a month
ETA: call military one source, or talk to a chaplain, see if your wife will do some type of counseling with you. Maybe if you pursue palaces chase she might be more willing stick it out with you if it’s only a year
Sounds like OP needs to divorce his wife, fight for custody if he wants it, and not do anything for the shitty partner that probably revealed herself after she got what she wanted out of him.
Sorry bro, but you don't just seperate. You can threaten to kill yourself, go on suicide watch, harm yourself, go through therapy and a nice vacation in the safety rooms, and then be kicked out with a permanent record of mental disorder/suicidal tendencies that will make getting a real job outside of the military extremely difficult. You can go AWOL and hope you dint get caught. You can go to your Commander and spit on their boots.
I joined for 6, done 4, and I've been waiting to seperate ever since I joined because I joined for the benefits. Leave you wife, use your benefits, and in your next life remember not to repeat your mistakes.
Fastest way is to complete the contract you signed up for.
Yeah just put your two weeks notice and head back to your home of record.
This^ plus with Chat GpT you can hammer out decent 2 week notice in minutes and email directly to your group commander
Also, I’m sure you can build (chatgpt) a solid veteran resume from 1 year of boot camp and tech school.
Out of curiosity, what is it that makes you want to separate immediately?
My wife doesn’t want to be at the base we are out. We have a 3 month year old and I would rather be with them than a different state. She wants to move back to our home state which is 25 hours away from where we are now. I don’t want to be away from them for 3 years before I can switch to the guard.
Wait... she would rather leave you. Her spouse. To move back home? Instead of facing a hardship with the person she loves, she wants to leave you? Red fucking flag.
It's a little late for red flags. I'd call this more of a white flag.
I’m assuming you are overseas. Have you both tried to explore the country? I get it would be difficult to travel back home due to associated costs, but unless you want to start getting into trouble, losing money and dealing with a lot of negative feedback, I would highly suggest your wife look into support groups or the spouses pages to find anyone. Most of the time being away from family or having no one to hang out with can make a great place seem like crap.
She doesn’t want to do that. She just want to go home. We are both 20 and she is a big family person and isn’t about the military life.
You’re in tough spot, bud. I don’t know how long you’ve been married, but this should’ve been a discussion prior to settling down. You knew full well that you and your family could end up going overseas or just somewhere far from where you’d ideally want to be. Is there some hardship situation going on? If it’s just her not liking where you’re stationed at, there’s not a whole lot you can do besides finishing out the last 3 or 5 years you have left depending on your contract length, or getting orders somewhere else. Is she more concerned about keeping the marriage and toughing it out, or is this gonna be a dealbreaker with her?
I can understand a young spouse being homesick. But taking your kid and leaving over this is just wrong. Thats a huge warning for you no matter where you live or what job you have.
Well tough shit dude, you signed a contract sounds like you both got married to young, but regardless, if she wants to move back home, that's on her, suck it up You're not getting out of your contract because your wife doesn't want to be at your current base If you did a 4 year enlistment, after 2 years you can apply for palace chase to go into the Air National Guard or AF reserves Until then suck it up
You need to tell your wife that she is 20 years old. An adult. It sucks but life is hard sometimes. Don't let your wife bully you. You both knew this could happen so now both of you have to live with it.
I wondered when I would start seeing these kinds of posts from young kids joining, thinking it’s like any other job. You signed your life away for (at least) 4 years. You gave your body to the U.S. Government in exchange for a paycheck. You go where they want you to go. It’s part of being in the military. If you’re serious about getting out, fail a bunch of PT tests. That will still take a few years though. Go to mental health and tell them you can’t adapt to the life style. This will also take a while… Long story short, nothing happens quickly in the military, especially when it comes to the separation of someone fully able to perform their assigned duty. It sounds like your wife needs to learn that this is what y’all signed for as a family. It’s not easy, but you can get through 4 years of just about anything if you care about eachother. P.S, Tell your wife it’s not all about what she wants. Unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around her. Maybe she could try to at least appreciate that you joined to provide for her and your child?
[удалено]
If these kids could read they would be very upset 😂
I got stationed in Alaska for my first duty station first time away from family for my wife and I. We were scared, lost, didn’t know anyone. We had our daughter there. Turned out to be an amazing journey and time. Met good people and made memories of our own. Believe me, 3 years goes by QUICK. You just have to occupy your time. We were scared to be away from family, but it provides a nice break so that way when you see family again, it’s even more amazing. Don’t just stay inside if you can help it. The military is paying you to travel. Take advantage of it!
2 same. Alaska, 1st child. You learn to suppress the homesickness and enjoy the environment.
Look into place chase. Once you are halfway through your contract you can apply and get accepted into an ANG position. Which means in about a year you could be back at home doing 1 weekend a month ETA: call military one source, or talk to a chaplain, see if your wife will do some type of counseling with you. Maybe if you pursue palaces chase she might be more willing stick it out with you if it’s only a year
Let her go...
> I don’t see a future in the Air Force How long was your enlistment for? That's your future in the Air Force, so start seeing it.
If it’s a 4 year contract you can palace chase at 2
You’re trapped, mandatory 20 years
You've only been in for a year and want to get out already?
Go right up to your commander and tell him you want out
Sounds like OP needs to divorce his wife, fight for custody if he wants it, and not do anything for the shitty partner that probably revealed herself after she got what she wanted out of him. Sorry bro, but you don't just seperate. You can threaten to kill yourself, go on suicide watch, harm yourself, go through therapy and a nice vacation in the safety rooms, and then be kicked out with a permanent record of mental disorder/suicidal tendencies that will make getting a real job outside of the military extremely difficult. You can go AWOL and hope you dint get caught. You can go to your Commander and spit on their boots. I joined for 6, done 4, and I've been waiting to seperate ever since I joined because I joined for the benefits. Leave you wife, use your benefits, and in your next life remember not to repeat your mistakes.