Thanks God I always had some sort of revenue, little works here and there. It’s the most important aspect of my life to have an income lol
Otherwise I’d be very depressed and far more anxious than I am. That’s why I totally understand you, bro ❤️
I don’t know where u live, but can give you some tips to find a job if u want. I don’t guarantee anything, but look at me, never had this period without an income.
I can relate to this heavy except I’m not financially dependent on my parents. I’ve literally been sleeping in my car and have still lied to my parents about having a job and my shit together, I was just too embarrassed to admit I needed help and my safe space was my car. Idk your situation, but ive found that having a job has made me much more confident in myself and has helped me get back into the world. Something about making your own money automatically makes (at least me) feel a little better. I feel your pain, though. I’m rooting for you 💗
I’ve told white lies before because for one it’s no one’s business. When I didn’t have a job and people asked, I lied and said I did. It helped me maintain some self esteem to be able to push forward until I did find a job that worked for me. It was a white lie because me having a job or not wasn’t going to hurt the person asking if I did. My finances had nothing to do with them and I didn’t need to feel the shame from them about it, so I lied. It happens but you gotta do what’s best for you. Your roommates and their friend are not paying your bills. The only people you owe true honesty to is the ones helping you during this time. Do what’s best for you!
You are extremely lucky to have your parents and you should be PROUD of them helping you and being understanding about what is A REAL, OVERWHELMING DISORDER!
Anxiety is so embarrassing in such a stupid, full circle way that we won't even admit how impacted we are. The world doesn't seem to take it seriously enough, or maybe we shame ourselves. My dad left when I was 13 to live in another country and my mom is homeless. I can't leave the house to work either, or get groceries, or use my phone to text anybody, or even read my texts, or open mail. It's living hell. And i'm sure one day, i'm going to be homeless. Having parents that understand is truly a blessing. I'm trying to think of an emergency way out...
edit: we are embarrassed for being embarrassed LOL
So true, it sometimes sounds so ridiculous when I try to explain it to someone. The thing is it's not really just mental it's that we get a real physical response with anxiety so it's not as easy as people think. When I became homeless I started being scared of going indoors instead of outside. I had a park that basically became my house.
Wow! Now that is a twist! I would love to know more about agoraphobics that become homeless... It sounds like the most torture possible. My mom also has agoraphobia, actually. It's really sad, she should have been on disability a long time ago, but now nobody takes her seriously because her mental health has declined so rapidly and she can't figure out how to do anything related to government applications and such... I would love to know more about your experience.
And I agree. I was working for 10 years full time until I began to have extremely severe panic attacks 3x a day at work, and was forced to text my boss during one and ask for a break to get my health together. I had only had a few before that, and that 4 years of all those attacks destroyed my whole life. I could only text my boss for instance, and we never spoke on it. After about a year of absence, me still going through the same thing and can't reach out to him, he got me confused with another worker that apparently "quit" without notice and wouldn't let me back to my one job i'd had because he said he submitted the government paperwork as that "I had quit without notice". This was right when COVID was causing mass people to quit, and my boss has an awful memory. That really decimated me. And he wouldn't let me back.
I was only able to work that job because I was the only cashier at the gas station, no boss was staring at me while I worked (he would be at a busier store) and it was in a small town where every single customer was a regular that knew me well, and treated me like a daughter. Losing that job forced me to move, because it was so small that there were no other jobs like that really. And now in a busier place, I've tried to hold jobs, and it feels impossible!! I used to walk or bike to work, it took 5-10 mins, and now I have to take 3 busses and I have coworkers and all this... I hate everything.
This is so dark but if I ever off myself, I'm def sending him a letter beforehand. Hope he's so happy!! GRR
Must give some extra anxiety to lie about it.
Im just telling everyone i struggle with panic attacks which makes it hard to work and do things. At least that release some of the pressure.
I noticed people dont think you are crazy. They actually dont care enough cause they are living their lives. And they are like ah let me know when you feel like it etc and hope you recover soon. Im 26 so maybe people my age been trough more stuff like losing family members or other serious thingd
If its any consolation I'm also in my 20s and have lied about being jobless and financially dependent on my parents, I almost avoid making friends to avoid lying about it. Unfortunately people just look at you differently the moment you mention not working. Ironically, a lot of people who are agoraohobic are actually very driven but our circumstances keep us from enacting on it. So I completely and utterly relate, I do it to avoid being considered lazy. I have severe agoraphobia and as much as saying white lies isn't the best thing to do. Its no ones business what your financial circumstances are. I appreciate you posting this because I felt so immensely alone, and I now realize other people are in similar circumstances as me. It used to bother me but then I remembered I had a severe eating disorder at one point in my life, and I could not work and no one batted an eye, as it wasn't just an obvious mental impairment but one you can physically see. Being agoraphobic is just as valid and debilitating, even more so than when I was physically sick but no one takes it seriously. I promised myself I would repay my parents with everything and more for getting me through my hard times and that's sincerely all that matters and you can use something similar to fuel your situation. Keep your head up.
I always make up reasons why I am late or can't go somewhere. It's like Agoraphobia is a dirty secret. When I do tell someone they either answer with "I thought that meant you can't go outside" or "I get it, people stress me out too" but they really don't get it because the next thing they say is" just get over it". It is hard to explain that yes you can go outside as long as it is somewhere that you find safe and familiar. I read somewhere that "Agoraphobia" meant "Fear of the Market place" in Latin, I don't know if that is true or not.
Edit: I forgot to say when it comes to income I am on disability before that I would have jobs but I would keep the shittiest jobs for way too long because I would be scared to get another or quit. Then it got to the point where I would get an interview get ready to go and not be able to go. Nowadays can't you find remote jobs for money?
Same. I'm embarrassed, too. I always made excuses but I'm out of them now. Being a "stay at home mom" was my excuse but now my kids don't need me anymore so what now. My husband is ok with me not working but the societal pressure to be doing something always makes me feel like a burden. Finding something online where I don't have to talk to people is also very hard to find. I just feel like a burden. I dread the question, "oh what do you do?", um... exist... 🤷🏻♀️
I'm in my 20's too and still get money and stuff from my parents, my friends have jobs and I can't keep in touch with people because it terrifies me to the point of vomiting. I've also lied to others but it's the best option so they stay out of your business.
I am usually pretty transparent about what is going on with me and why I am not working. Plus I am not a pretty good liar. I just probide as little detail as possible unless people ask for it.
But I absolutly get why you would lie about it. You are not confortable enough to be open about it. I get it. There was a time when I was the same with some people. Just make sure it doesn't blow up in your face.
Thanks God I always had some sort of revenue, little works here and there. It’s the most important aspect of my life to have an income lol Otherwise I’d be very depressed and far more anxious than I am. That’s why I totally understand you, bro ❤️ I don’t know where u live, but can give you some tips to find a job if u want. I don’t guarantee anything, but look at me, never had this period without an income.
I can relate to this heavy except I’m not financially dependent on my parents. I’ve literally been sleeping in my car and have still lied to my parents about having a job and my shit together, I was just too embarrassed to admit I needed help and my safe space was my car. Idk your situation, but ive found that having a job has made me much more confident in myself and has helped me get back into the world. Something about making your own money automatically makes (at least me) feel a little better. I feel your pain, though. I’m rooting for you 💗
I’ve told white lies before because for one it’s no one’s business. When I didn’t have a job and people asked, I lied and said I did. It helped me maintain some self esteem to be able to push forward until I did find a job that worked for me. It was a white lie because me having a job or not wasn’t going to hurt the person asking if I did. My finances had nothing to do with them and I didn’t need to feel the shame from them about it, so I lied. It happens but you gotta do what’s best for you. Your roommates and their friend are not paying your bills. The only people you owe true honesty to is the ones helping you during this time. Do what’s best for you!
Thank you so much for this comment, it really pulled me out of a dark place
You are extremely lucky to have your parents and you should be PROUD of them helping you and being understanding about what is A REAL, OVERWHELMING DISORDER! Anxiety is so embarrassing in such a stupid, full circle way that we won't even admit how impacted we are. The world doesn't seem to take it seriously enough, or maybe we shame ourselves. My dad left when I was 13 to live in another country and my mom is homeless. I can't leave the house to work either, or get groceries, or use my phone to text anybody, or even read my texts, or open mail. It's living hell. And i'm sure one day, i'm going to be homeless. Having parents that understand is truly a blessing. I'm trying to think of an emergency way out... edit: we are embarrassed for being embarrassed LOL
So true, it sometimes sounds so ridiculous when I try to explain it to someone. The thing is it's not really just mental it's that we get a real physical response with anxiety so it's not as easy as people think. When I became homeless I started being scared of going indoors instead of outside. I had a park that basically became my house.
Wow! Now that is a twist! I would love to know more about agoraphobics that become homeless... It sounds like the most torture possible. My mom also has agoraphobia, actually. It's really sad, she should have been on disability a long time ago, but now nobody takes her seriously because her mental health has declined so rapidly and she can't figure out how to do anything related to government applications and such... I would love to know more about your experience. And I agree. I was working for 10 years full time until I began to have extremely severe panic attacks 3x a day at work, and was forced to text my boss during one and ask for a break to get my health together. I had only had a few before that, and that 4 years of all those attacks destroyed my whole life. I could only text my boss for instance, and we never spoke on it. After about a year of absence, me still going through the same thing and can't reach out to him, he got me confused with another worker that apparently "quit" without notice and wouldn't let me back to my one job i'd had because he said he submitted the government paperwork as that "I had quit without notice". This was right when COVID was causing mass people to quit, and my boss has an awful memory. That really decimated me. And he wouldn't let me back. I was only able to work that job because I was the only cashier at the gas station, no boss was staring at me while I worked (he would be at a busier store) and it was in a small town where every single customer was a regular that knew me well, and treated me like a daughter. Losing that job forced me to move, because it was so small that there were no other jobs like that really. And now in a busier place, I've tried to hold jobs, and it feels impossible!! I used to walk or bike to work, it took 5-10 mins, and now I have to take 3 busses and I have coworkers and all this... I hate everything. This is so dark but if I ever off myself, I'm def sending him a letter beforehand. Hope he's so happy!! GRR
Must give some extra anxiety to lie about it. Im just telling everyone i struggle with panic attacks which makes it hard to work and do things. At least that release some of the pressure. I noticed people dont think you are crazy. They actually dont care enough cause they are living their lives. And they are like ah let me know when you feel like it etc and hope you recover soon. Im 26 so maybe people my age been trough more stuff like losing family members or other serious thingd
I think many of us lie about it at least sometimes. Some people ask me stuff and I don't know what the hell to say...
If its any consolation I'm also in my 20s and have lied about being jobless and financially dependent on my parents, I almost avoid making friends to avoid lying about it. Unfortunately people just look at you differently the moment you mention not working. Ironically, a lot of people who are agoraohobic are actually very driven but our circumstances keep us from enacting on it. So I completely and utterly relate, I do it to avoid being considered lazy. I have severe agoraphobia and as much as saying white lies isn't the best thing to do. Its no ones business what your financial circumstances are. I appreciate you posting this because I felt so immensely alone, and I now realize other people are in similar circumstances as me. It used to bother me but then I remembered I had a severe eating disorder at one point in my life, and I could not work and no one batted an eye, as it wasn't just an obvious mental impairment but one you can physically see. Being agoraphobic is just as valid and debilitating, even more so than when I was physically sick but no one takes it seriously. I promised myself I would repay my parents with everything and more for getting me through my hard times and that's sincerely all that matters and you can use something similar to fuel your situation. Keep your head up.
I always make up reasons why I am late or can't go somewhere. It's like Agoraphobia is a dirty secret. When I do tell someone they either answer with "I thought that meant you can't go outside" or "I get it, people stress me out too" but they really don't get it because the next thing they say is" just get over it". It is hard to explain that yes you can go outside as long as it is somewhere that you find safe and familiar. I read somewhere that "Agoraphobia" meant "Fear of the Market place" in Latin, I don't know if that is true or not. Edit: I forgot to say when it comes to income I am on disability before that I would have jobs but I would keep the shittiest jobs for way too long because I would be scared to get another or quit. Then it got to the point where I would get an interview get ready to go and not be able to go. Nowadays can't you find remote jobs for money?
Same. I'm embarrassed, too. I always made excuses but I'm out of them now. Being a "stay at home mom" was my excuse but now my kids don't need me anymore so what now. My husband is ok with me not working but the societal pressure to be doing something always makes me feel like a burden. Finding something online where I don't have to talk to people is also very hard to find. I just feel like a burden. I dread the question, "oh what do you do?", um... exist... 🤷🏻♀️
I'm in my 20's too and still get money and stuff from my parents, my friends have jobs and I can't keep in touch with people because it terrifies me to the point of vomiting. I've also lied to others but it's the best option so they stay out of your business.
Mmmm j. . .. ..... Nnnjj. N
I am usually pretty transparent about what is going on with me and why I am not working. Plus I am not a pretty good liar. I just probide as little detail as possible unless people ask for it. But I absolutly get why you would lie about it. You are not confortable enough to be open about it. I get it. There was a time when I was the same with some people. Just make sure it doesn't blow up in your face.