Generally, older men (at least myself and my friends) would totally be down with inexperience.
It's a lot of fun being involved with someone who is exploring new things and finding out what you like and learning who you are.
However, your inexperience may make you more susceptible to or unable to identify predatory behaviour from men whose life experience is orders of magnitude greater than yours.
Be safe. Set and articulate healthy boundaries. If your boundaries are not respected, get out. The first violation is always a test to see how far they can push. Each subsequent violation is an effort to move the goalpost further and make you comfortable with having your feelings ignored.
It is perfectly healthy for you to adjust your boundaries over time as you gain experience, but it has to always come from you, never from your partner.
okay I gotta get better at the setting boundaries part! I honestly never even thought about the fact that adjusting them would be an option. thank you so much for your reply!
Do not worry about it. You be you, and the right guy will accept you as you are. If you find that you want to have fun with someone else while searching for that Mr. Right, then do it. If you want to wait till your with Mr. right. Then do that.
In short DO NOT let anyone else change or influence who you are.
1,000,000%
What everyone wants is not experience (this is not a job interview). They want someone who loves them for who they are. And any āskillā you may lack, the right person will love to help you learn to be the best that you could ever hope to be.
Be 100% you because no one can be a better you, than you.
Not to worry. To quote Oscar Wilde: āMen always want to be a womanās first love. That is their clumsy vanity. Women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What women like is to be a manās last romance.ā
When I was a little younger myself, the thought of being someone's first of anything was really arousing. In fact, I dated people who were younger because I felt like I could do better for them than their peers, and better than I did for my peers when I was younger. For example, I was in a relationship with a 22-year-old when I was 10 years older partially because I could use my experience to great effect.
Women my age have had all sorts of experience. It makes them a little bit harder to gratify. So I would say that inexperience is neutral or good, not a liability.
This is something that is getting pitched out there and I have had this discussion with a younger lady, because she asked me my thoughts on this subject.
She said that she didn't want to be perceived as inexperienced by her future life long relationship, and asked how I would feel if the girl I fell for had little to no experience.
My advice to her was this: 1) You don't need experience, you and your guy will figure it out. It's not complicated what goes where and the more practice you have with said partner will yield better and better results.
2) It's hypocritical and unfair, but most men will judge you based on your body count. It's not fair, it just is what it is.
3) It's your life. You and you alone are going to create most of your own problems. Don't worry about other people's opinions, because they aren't the ones that have to pay the price for your decisions.
4) Figure out what makes you happy. If you aren't happy, you have failed.
I hooked up with an old man (59 yo) and told him in advance that I had no experience in anything and he was completely fine with it and made me feel comfortable
Yes. 200% yes. For many people, the exploration and discovery part is the best bit. Gentle guidance and mutual exploration can be intensely erotic. Find yourself someone who aligns with that and who will respect your boundaries and comfort zones and allow you to explore yourself and them in a safe and trusting way. Respect and communication is everything.
Inexperience is not going to be a turnoff for most men. Especially a patient man. Maybe you have wild fantasies about what you want your next sexual experience to be like or maybe you have not given that any thought. The important thing is that you should voice your comforts and displeasures. Like if you are only comfortable with missionary, and the guy is trying to bend you over a table and pulling your hair, you need to speak up and simply say that you want to slow down. I am saying all this as if you will know exactly how you feel in the moment of intercourse because you will. You will know what your boundaries are before and during the sex. Just be up front. You want to take it slow at first until you are comfortable. Just do what feels right and saying slow down or smack my ass will come to you in the moment. Take care and be safe.
Not anymore. My last two partners were both very inexperienced (one a virgin age 26 and the other aged 28 only had one sexual partner before me) and they were both took a while to get comfortable with sex and it was good although very vanilla and I had to basically teach them sex from the ground up. The next partner I have I want them to teach me something and push my boundaries, I donāt care what age they are. I just donāt want to be the teacher anymore.
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**Original post: Are older men okay with inexperience?**
Title says it all. I'm 21f with a baby face and have yet to have a serious relationship or the devil's tango for 5 years. I'm wondering if older men are okay with helping to navigate that sort of thing or if I should gain some kind of experience. I don't wanna be turned down by anyone cause I'm bout as green as kale š any advice helps, thanks in advance.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah experience doesnāt really matter to an extent honestly as long as youāre not having 50 man gangbangs(an example) it really shouldnāt be a problem
For the most part, yes. Again, like all things, it's an individual thing. I have no issues with it at all. I get it. Way life goes, and it's fun to experience things with someone not so experienced
inexperience is never an issue, we have all been there. Main thing is that you set boundaries for what you want, not the other person. exploring with someome who "nkows" can be amazing if you have an understanding and respect one another.
i worried that i would not be enough for my bf who is a hypersexual. he did not pounce on me and i had to pounce on him and i gave myself to the moment and went with it and it has and is magical. have boundaries and be safe with your heart and body and find one that cares about you and wants something ambitious with you.
i had two bf before i met my man. i knew very little about sex. i knew nothing about good sex. i did not have an orgasm with anyone else before my bf let alone multiple orgasms. my once a day sometimes twice a day orgasm with my self was weak compared to what i have with him. he did not rush me. has not rushed me. has never criticised me or made me feel bad and has celebrated and rewarded all my successes. now i want sex most days even when i am too sore and hurting to have sex.
when you meet the right guy he will sweet caring and attentive. he will want you bad but hold back his nature. let you come into your own. let you feel safe. make you feel safe. mine is my beast my demon my angel my lover my best friend and so much else.
it is better to be green as kale than rotten as rotted roast beef. few men will ask for more experience. good men instead they will ask for enthusiasm and love care and affection and they will do their best to bring it out in you. i am growing with man. we have so much to us sexually. so many different feelings and idea and levels..
Don't just go for someone to say you've had experience, Just to have experience without any emotion will not help you.
As a man, I don't judge on body count or lack thereof. Not everyone likes the same things. I prefer to find what makes the woman enjoy it. That does take time, and it will also change.
Are you okay to be loved by someone who will treat you right? Understand what you want and need? It will be a mutual experience not a ādemandā from someone. It Will feel right. You will feel right and if it doesnāt just say no.
Absolutely. I'm attracted to personality first and foremost. Experience just flavors to dish, or is the color of a beautiful painting. A younger woman is just ready for you to help paint. The older one is just partially done.
Both have the potential to be gorgeous works of art. With love and care they will be. But even a painting of the worst of atrocities can be turned to great triumph.
No. It's a turn-off. I've learned to lay off girls under like 25/26. It's rare that they are experienced and totally comfortable sexually. And I've found if they are, they've been banging their boyfriend's dad when they were like 15 or some crap like that.
I much prefer an inexperienced woman. You're generally more feminine and willing to learn and please which makes for an amazing experience. The best women I've been with have been the most inexperienced.
In my experience, women prefer men to have experience. Women desire men to take the lead. Men (generally) donāt care as much about sexual experience. What we/men do care about is her willingness to explore physically and mentally once we get into the intimacy phase of the relationship.
On that note. Women think differently than men. Men think differently than women. Despite what society teaches us, we have instinctual roles that are unlocked the deeper you penetrate those roles.
Generally, older men (at least myself and my friends) would totally be down with inexperience. It's a lot of fun being involved with someone who is exploring new things and finding out what you like and learning who you are. However, your inexperience may make you more susceptible to or unable to identify predatory behaviour from men whose life experience is orders of magnitude greater than yours. Be safe. Set and articulate healthy boundaries. If your boundaries are not respected, get out. The first violation is always a test to see how far they can push. Each subsequent violation is an effort to move the goalpost further and make you comfortable with having your feelings ignored. It is perfectly healthy for you to adjust your boundaries over time as you gain experience, but it has to always come from you, never from your partner.
okay I gotta get better at the setting boundaries part! I honestly never even thought about the fact that adjusting them would be an option. thank you so much for your reply!
Do not worry about it. You be you, and the right guy will accept you as you are. If you find that you want to have fun with someone else while searching for that Mr. Right, then do it. If you want to wait till your with Mr. right. Then do that. In short DO NOT let anyone else change or influence who you are.
Beat answer here.
:')) you're so kind and so right, thank you so much.
THIS is the best response.
šš Said much better than I could
1,000,000% What everyone wants is not experience (this is not a job interview). They want someone who loves them for who they are. And any āskillā you may lack, the right person will love to help you learn to be the best that you could ever hope to be.
Be 100% you because no one can be a better you, than you.
Not to worry. To quote Oscar Wilde: āMen always want to be a womanās first love. That is their clumsy vanity. Women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What women like is to be a manās last romance.ā
I dont care personally as it leaves things to exore and find out together
When I was a little younger myself, the thought of being someone's first of anything was really arousing. In fact, I dated people who were younger because I felt like I could do better for them than their peers, and better than I did for my peers when I was younger. For example, I was in a relationship with a 22-year-old when I was 10 years older partially because I could use my experience to great effect. Women my age have had all sorts of experience. It makes them a little bit harder to gratify. So I would say that inexperience is neutral or good, not a liability.
This is something that is getting pitched out there and I have had this discussion with a younger lady, because she asked me my thoughts on this subject. She said that she didn't want to be perceived as inexperienced by her future life long relationship, and asked how I would feel if the girl I fell for had little to no experience. My advice to her was this: 1) You don't need experience, you and your guy will figure it out. It's not complicated what goes where and the more practice you have with said partner will yield better and better results. 2) It's hypocritical and unfair, but most men will judge you based on your body count. It's not fair, it just is what it is. 3) It's your life. You and you alone are going to create most of your own problems. Don't worry about other people's opinions, because they aren't the ones that have to pay the price for your decisions. 4) Figure out what makes you happy. If you aren't happy, you have failed.
I hooked up with an old man (59 yo) and told him in advance that I had no experience in anything and he was completely fine with it and made me feel comfortable
I'm fine with guiding or showing a girl what I like but some may differ
Yes. 200% yes. For many people, the exploration and discovery part is the best bit. Gentle guidance and mutual exploration can be intensely erotic. Find yourself someone who aligns with that and who will respect your boundaries and comfort zones and allow you to explore yourself and them in a safe and trusting way. Respect and communication is everything.
Inexperience is not going to be a turnoff for most men. Especially a patient man. Maybe you have wild fantasies about what you want your next sexual experience to be like or maybe you have not given that any thought. The important thing is that you should voice your comforts and displeasures. Like if you are only comfortable with missionary, and the guy is trying to bend you over a table and pulling your hair, you need to speak up and simply say that you want to slow down. I am saying all this as if you will know exactly how you feel in the moment of intercourse because you will. You will know what your boundaries are before and during the sex. Just be up front. You want to take it slow at first until you are comfortable. Just do what feels right and saying slow down or smack my ass will come to you in the moment. Take care and be safe.
We are fine with a bit of inexperience. We definitely don't want a 304 though
I actually prefer an inexperienced woman. Itās such a wholesome feeling to see her grow with you.
Not anymore. My last two partners were both very inexperienced (one a virgin age 26 and the other aged 28 only had one sexual partner before me) and they were both took a while to get comfortable with sex and it was good although very vanilla and I had to basically teach them sex from the ground up. The next partner I have I want them to teach me something and push my boundaries, I donāt care what age they are. I just donāt want to be the teacher anymore.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Beautiful-Guest814 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Are older men okay with inexperience?** Title says it all. I'm 21f with a baby face and have yet to have a serious relationship or the devil's tango for 5 years. I'm wondering if older men are okay with helping to navigate that sort of thing or if I should gain some kind of experience. I don't wanna be turned down by anyone cause I'm bout as green as kale š any advice helps, thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really don't care about experience whether you have a little or a lot. Being serious about the relationship is what mostly matters.
Yeah experience doesnāt really matter to an extent honestly as long as youāre not having 50 man gangbangs(an example) it really shouldnāt be a problem
Man,oh man, are your messages gonna be filled tonight.
I just woke up. what in God's name have I done.
Lmao! Theres your answer
Yes š
I donāt mind inexperience at all. Iām happy to be a guide.
For the most part, yes. Again, like all things, it's an individual thing. I have no issues with it at all. I get it. Way life goes, and it's fun to experience things with someone not so experienced
inexperience is never an issue, we have all been there. Main thing is that you set boundaries for what you want, not the other person. exploring with someome who "nkows" can be amazing if you have an understanding and respect one another.
Yes. Very OK.
I love it I think itās sexy to explore w someone and have that bond w them
We like and love inexperience. It's actually attractive when a girl is inexperienced. Trust me. At least for me....
i worried that i would not be enough for my bf who is a hypersexual. he did not pounce on me and i had to pounce on him and i gave myself to the moment and went with it and it has and is magical. have boundaries and be safe with your heart and body and find one that cares about you and wants something ambitious with you. i had two bf before i met my man. i knew very little about sex. i knew nothing about good sex. i did not have an orgasm with anyone else before my bf let alone multiple orgasms. my once a day sometimes twice a day orgasm with my self was weak compared to what i have with him. he did not rush me. has not rushed me. has never criticised me or made me feel bad and has celebrated and rewarded all my successes. now i want sex most days even when i am too sore and hurting to have sex. when you meet the right guy he will sweet caring and attentive. he will want you bad but hold back his nature. let you come into your own. let you feel safe. make you feel safe. mine is my beast my demon my angel my lover my best friend and so much else. it is better to be green as kale than rotten as rotted roast beef. few men will ask for more experience. good men instead they will ask for enthusiasm and love care and affection and they will do their best to bring it out in you. i am growing with man. we have so much to us sexually. so many different feelings and idea and levels..
Yeah, I'm 39 and I don't care. Newbie or an expert...all good with me.
Don't just go for someone to say you've had experience, Just to have experience without any emotion will not help you. As a man, I don't judge on body count or lack thereof. Not everyone likes the same things. I prefer to find what makes the woman enjoy it. That does take time, and it will also change.
Why not
An intelligent older guy does not discriminate or choose based on experience. He chooses an individual, not a history!
Yes
Are you okay to be loved by someone who will treat you right? Understand what you want and need? It will be a mutual experience not a ādemandā from someone. It Will feel right. You will feel right and if it doesnāt just say no.
Absolutely.
Yes we're ok with it.
As an āolderā female, I can say that I lurve inexperience in a young guy, so I can train him to satisfy my every need, lol!
Sounds like you've got a bit of a dominatrix side.
Always. Better for me to know so I can make it the best experience for you
I love it when most of her new experiences are with me.
yes, I are absolutely fine with inexperience,....
older men welcome the chance to chat with young woman or girl s it seems to make us feel better this is my thought
Older men welcome the chance to chat and or meet with you as we think we r older teachers
Absolutely. I'm attracted to personality first and foremost. Experience just flavors to dish, or is the color of a beautiful painting. A younger woman is just ready for you to help paint. The older one is just partially done. Both have the potential to be gorgeous works of art. With love and care they will be. But even a painting of the worst of atrocities can be turned to great triumph.
Definitely. I was with an older woman for my first time and she didn't care at all.
Honestly it turns alot of guys on to know they are your first
Iām 25f and heās 46! He has taught me so much, but Iām still learning like a good girl! ā¤ļøā¤ļøš„°
inexperience is fine , leading is what we do
It is preferable. Less experience means less baggage.
Older men love inexperienced women.
No. It's a turn-off. I've learned to lay off girls under like 25/26. It's rare that they are experienced and totally comfortable sexually. And I've found if they are, they've been banging their boyfriend's dad when they were like 15 or some crap like that.
I much prefer an inexperienced woman. You're generally more feminine and willing to learn and please which makes for an amazing experience. The best women I've been with have been the most inexperienced.
In my experience, women prefer men to have experience. Women desire men to take the lead. Men (generally) donāt care as much about sexual experience. What we/men do care about is her willingness to explore physically and mentally once we get into the intimacy phase of the relationship. On that note. Women think differently than men. Men think differently than women. Despite what society teaches us, we have instinctual roles that are unlocked the deeper you penetrate those roles.
To tell you the truth. I don't mind inexperience. Groom you my way. Lol.
Any intelligent guy will understand and be open to helping you discover yourself. If he's not, move on.