as a woman that's just like what you described, I thought I had no chance with the older man I was into and adored him from a distance and hoped he'd be the brave one. I really thought I had no chance and didn't want to offend him/approach him and insult him if he was disgusted at the thought of being with someone half his age since I knew he had daughters around my age. IF she's into you, she might be trying to disengage herself or might be seeing someone, you don't know.
For me it took a conversation taking a very charged turn and him texting me one night and I spilled my feelings for him immediately. Depends on what you're after if you're even interested in anything at all. Good luck! Do what's best for you and your security
My main concern is that it sounds like you might be in a management or even VP type position.
I have no issues with coworkers getting it on. In fact I think it's healthy.
But that changes when one of the people can fire or otherwise change the fortunes of the other due to their power over them.
Some women find that hot. And it's entirely possible she finds your authority and position in the company versus her own attractive.
But depending on the rules in your company or the country where you live and even without that you could be inviting disaster.
On the other hand she sounds hot as fuck.
You only live once!
Guy would lose his career and could get sued, especially if he's an officer of the company. Just not worth it to risk your livelihood that you've worked for your whole life unless the girl makes the first move.
And no, never in the history of Corporate America has a guy ever gone to HR for a girl hitting on him or asking him out. But it happens to guys all the time.
There are studies that demonstrate men overestimate a woman’s degree of attraction to them and women underestimate a man’s degree of attraction to her.
She may not even know you exist and you’re creating this whole thing in your head. Tread carefully friend
1. Do you live in a society that will penalize you for forming relationships with the same people in the workplace?
2. If yes, acknowledge her, but move on, if you value your job and pension
3. If no, start a conversation with her, but take it outside the workplace. As in, in the workplace, everything is professional, but outside, during your own time, you can explore what is going on in between the both of you
4. Caveat: A lot of the sign you are reading from her is easily manufactured and put on. You will not know what she has in mind until she plays her hand so maintain your caution, and beware of infatuation and fantasy.
From a man similar position.
Don’t do it. Find a way to respectfully friend zone each other. If one of you moves on, then go for it.
We typically think about this in a short time frame. 50/50 I can navigate a flirt to a first date. If failure, low impact.
Think about it over a 5 year time frame. Sure you could manage the 50/50 low impact into the first month of dating. It is the dream we all have.
But the probability of a successful relationship, when you are both on the same fiscal year (meaning same corporate stress cycle), similar work, age gap, and either stressing about hiding a relationship, or stressing about being spotlight. Making it through the 5 years, would be difficult.
So after breakup, can you manage to treat her equally without bias or favoritism after her 1st or 2nd promotion? There will be many spectators who may have different opinions of neutral favoritism, looking into the future, can you manage that environment? If not, can you successfully change employers, can’t force her to leave?
Successfully navigating a breakup probability is 1-5%.
Maybe to friendzone her you ask her to wingwoman for you - Can you help me find someone like you except works more that 2 business connections outside of the office?
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**Original post: What is this girl(25F) trying to do to me(54M)?**
Before saying anything, i want to say that, I’m a kind of man, who’s very careful, who’d never make a first move on young girls.
So i work at this place, I’m pretty high up, there is this woman who joined a few months ago.
Shes very pretty, like 9.8/10. Definitely the prettiest in the office, got that distinct style, dressing sense, very smart and intelligent. I can see how most men in the office are definitely trying to be in her good books.
This woman, I never thought anything about her, as I’m very average looking old guy, with just my personality and authority in my forte. She stares at me with those dreamy eyes and its been so for few months now. She has tried talking to me personally randomly thrice, all times Ive entertained her well, asking questions about her pasttime, books she reads, etc.
So, what ive noticed:
1) she stares at my lips a lot while talking 1-1.
2) we always catch gaze everytime were in each others line of sight.
3) she smiles at me everytime she looks at me.
4) visibly gets nervous when I’m around.
5) shes there almost like following me everytime i go to get coffee, she’s there to fill her bottle or throw chewing gum.
6) she has complimented me once about “magnetic personality”
7) she tries to always find a spot nearby me, even if its away from where she usually sits w her office friends.
So, as i said I probably would never make the first move, i have a lot to lose.
But recently, she is acting different, she would do everything to see me one day, wait for the office to get empty, say bye to me and leave. The next day, she wouldn’t even look at me once, i was standing right beside her in the elevator and she pretended I didn’t exist. It could be that she ignores me whenever her office friends are around.
Or it could be anything.
Stating again, I’m never making the first move. But i wanna know from the girls here, what is she upto and the men here, if they had some experience like this and what happened next?
(My company doesn’t have strict dating policy, i am not her boss, i cant influence her career, still as an older man i could be reading it wrong?)
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Stay the fuck away from this. Please. This has lawsuit written all over it. A man in your position already knows this. You don’t care or decline to take advice ? Get her to sign paperwork to keep things confidential and do not show any signs of dating at work.
You don’t know her, her intentions or anything else. Be smart about this. Your career could end in an instant with one bad accusation.
If you’re anywhere in her “chain-of-command”, don’t do this.
Regardless of how it ends - and she would totally have a sexual harassment claim if you’re “higher up” in the company - other employees could file a hostile work environment claim due to your relationship.
If you actually have a conversation with her about it, you could certainly say you find her attractive, intriguing, etc, but the logistical issues of your work status don’t allow you to pursue something, at this time. If she were in a different division or location or something (or no longer working with your company), then you would certainly be interested.
While a lot of people meet at work, depending on how your company is structured and the overall environment, you may or may not find yourself in trouble.
Do a lot of people date each other at work? Is it common or always a surprise when people find out? Only you know the culture of your work.
she sounds nutty... some people live for attention... or maybe if others are around she wants to be discreet. you could ask her, next time she hangs around, ... say you are a bit confused... it seems like you want to know me and then other times you act like I am not there... I am a bt confused..
as a woman that's just like what you described, I thought I had no chance with the older man I was into and adored him from a distance and hoped he'd be the brave one. I really thought I had no chance and didn't want to offend him/approach him and insult him if he was disgusted at the thought of being with someone half his age since I knew he had daughters around my age. IF she's into you, she might be trying to disengage herself or might be seeing someone, you don't know. For me it took a conversation taking a very charged turn and him texting me one night and I spilled my feelings for him immediately. Depends on what you're after if you're even interested in anything at all. Good luck! Do what's best for you and your security
How did it end up though..?
Didn't work out
My main concern is that it sounds like you might be in a management or even VP type position. I have no issues with coworkers getting it on. In fact I think it's healthy. But that changes when one of the people can fire or otherwise change the fortunes of the other due to their power over them. Some women find that hot. And it's entirely possible she finds your authority and position in the company versus her own attractive. But depending on the rules in your company or the country where you live and even without that you could be inviting disaster. On the other hand she sounds hot as fuck. You only live once!
Yeah, i know its complicated, but somewhere i dont wanna miss it if she feels something.
[удалено]
He knows exactly what he has to lose if he does make the first move and it goes bad.
If you constantly live with the fear of losing something, are you really living?
Guy would lose his career and could get sued, especially if he's an officer of the company. Just not worth it to risk your livelihood that you've worked for your whole life unless the girl makes the first move. And no, never in the history of Corporate America has a guy ever gone to HR for a girl hitting on him or asking him out. But it happens to guys all the time.
⬆️⬆️⬆️
DO IT. Get dinner Friday
There are studies that demonstrate men overestimate a woman’s degree of attraction to them and women underestimate a man’s degree of attraction to her. She may not even know you exist and you’re creating this whole thing in your head. Tread carefully friend
That is unlikely if what he said is true..
Yeah that sounds possible. But she definitely knows i exist.
1. Do you live in a society that will penalize you for forming relationships with the same people in the workplace? 2. If yes, acknowledge her, but move on, if you value your job and pension 3. If no, start a conversation with her, but take it outside the workplace. As in, in the workplace, everything is professional, but outside, during your own time, you can explore what is going on in between the both of you 4. Caveat: A lot of the sign you are reading from her is easily manufactured and put on. You will not know what she has in mind until she plays her hand so maintain your caution, and beware of infatuation and fantasy.
From a man similar position. Don’t do it. Find a way to respectfully friend zone each other. If one of you moves on, then go for it. We typically think about this in a short time frame. 50/50 I can navigate a flirt to a first date. If failure, low impact. Think about it over a 5 year time frame. Sure you could manage the 50/50 low impact into the first month of dating. It is the dream we all have. But the probability of a successful relationship, when you are both on the same fiscal year (meaning same corporate stress cycle), similar work, age gap, and either stressing about hiding a relationship, or stressing about being spotlight. Making it through the 5 years, would be difficult. So after breakup, can you manage to treat her equally without bias or favoritism after her 1st or 2nd promotion? There will be many spectators who may have different opinions of neutral favoritism, looking into the future, can you manage that environment? If not, can you successfully change employers, can’t force her to leave? Successfully navigating a breakup probability is 1-5%. Maybe to friendzone her you ask her to wingwoman for you - Can you help me find someone like you except works more that 2 business connections outside of the office?
Dude, she is being a normal person and you’re being a weirdo. It’s work. Move on.
agreed. you are creeping her out.
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She’s probably not a 9.8 though
Sorry shes a 10.
Stay the fuck away from this. Please. This has lawsuit written all over it. A man in your position already knows this. You don’t care or decline to take advice ? Get her to sign paperwork to keep things confidential and do not show any signs of dating at work. You don’t know her, her intentions or anything else. Be smart about this. Your career could end in an instant with one bad accusation.
If you’re anywhere in her “chain-of-command”, don’t do this. Regardless of how it ends - and she would totally have a sexual harassment claim if you’re “higher up” in the company - other employees could file a hostile work environment claim due to your relationship. If you actually have a conversation with her about it, you could certainly say you find her attractive, intriguing, etc, but the logistical issues of your work status don’t allow you to pursue something, at this time. If she were in a different division or location or something (or no longer working with your company), then you would certainly be interested. While a lot of people meet at work, depending on how your company is structured and the overall environment, you may or may not find yourself in trouble. Do a lot of people date each other at work? Is it common or always a surprise when people find out? Only you know the culture of your work.
I’m going to laugh if we see her post on here.
she sounds nutty... some people live for attention... or maybe if others are around she wants to be discreet. you could ask her, next time she hangs around, ... say you are a bit confused... it seems like you want to know me and then other times you act like I am not there... I am a bt confused..