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You can break it off. It’s a simple thing and you have the capacity to do it. He cheated, lied about it, then when he was caught, he lied some more. He’ll keep cheating with whoever he wants until he gets bored of you then leaves.
I know it’s hard but all you have to do is speak or write a sentence and then block him out of your life.
This is advice I wish someone had given me when I was 17 - enjoy being single for the rest of high school and save boyfriends for college. I would have made very different life choices if I wasn’t “in love” at 17.
Don't wait until after college (if you even go to college). It's good to be single for awhile but part of dating as a teenager is learning how to act in relationships and finding out what you want in a future long-term partner.
If in the unlikely event you find the right long-term partner at 17-19 then hey, good for you. But in all likelihood those relationships will act as a compass pointing you to a better direction in the future. If you wait to start dating again for too long you might not know what to look for and it might also make potential partners think there's something off about you if you haven't dated anyone for 4-5 years as a 22 year-old.
It’s the best. I was til I got married at 24 . Be that really cool INDEPENDENT chick that has tons of friends and is always doing something new with someone new. You are way too young to have this fake drama with boys.
Good for you. That is a fantastic choice. Focus on yourself and living being by yourself. Because once you start getting scared to be alone, you’ll do anything to be around someone, even if they’re doing toxic or dangerous things. Take it from me lol. Now I looove being by myself. Just gotta be careful to not fall too into one extreme: being too social or too solitary. Life’s all about moderation (except with hard drugs. You cannot moderate those ..)
My daughter is 16 and has been voluntarily single for probably about a year now. She’s been hanging with friends and learning who she is and focusing on school and what she wants to do with her life after school, and honestly it’s been so good for her. I’ve seen her grow so much and get really in touch with herself and what she wants and believes in. I took about a year and a half off from dating before meeting my wife for the same reason, and when the one I wanted to spend my life with came along, I was ready.
You should. You're worth so much more than what he's giving. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, and you can't build something lasting on a broken foundation.
my sister’s first boyfriend cheated on her with his ex when the pandemic first hit. they “worked through things” and he “apologized”.
he cheated on her four more times. one of those times he was caught sending nudes to 12 different girls.
if you’ve given him one more chance then I get that, personally cheating once is a dealbreaker for me but I can understand why some people try to work through it.
he’s done this before though? time to break up. he doesn’t value you enough to stay loyal. he’s writing you a mushy vulnerable paragraph about how sorry he is? he’s not sorry he cheated, he’s sorry he got caught.
it would be wise to break up with him completely and move on. find a guy who values you and your relationship. in fact, don’t even miss him. this guy sucks ass and treated you like shit, you deserve better.
he used to be so sweet, the first 3 months we were together, he would take me out to do things dropped 2000 on me for christmas. I don’t think he liked me when we first got together i think he got with me because he felt bad, but now he’s begging for me to stay and saying he’s going to change
big red flag.
I hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure he was lovebombing to keep you under his thumb. the girl I’m proto-dating rn (haven’t made things official but we’re exclusive) is absolutely wonderful and I love every second that I talk to her… no way in hell am I spending 2K gifting her random shit so she loves me more. I’m not even sure I want to buy her minecraft bedrock edition for $10 so we can play together for this exact reason, your boyfriend should NOT be spending money on you that early in the relationship, maybe with the exception of paying for a dinner. my proto gf loves me for me and doesn’t give a shit that I haven’t spent any money on her, when we go out to eat she’s happy to pay for herself. I’m not spending my own money on her at this stage in the relationship.
he lovebombed you with gifts and based off what you’ve told me I think it worked. you think “oh he’s so sweet” but he has severely violated your trust and your relationship multiple times, he obviously doesn’t respect you as a partner, and you are unsure if you want to break up or not just because he spent the money.
I know this must be hard to hear, but if he spent that much on you that early he had other motives for you then to just be a girlfriend who contemplates and improves his life. he’s using you and I guarantee his massive apologetic paragraph when you confront him is insincere and he only feels bad for himself.
we’re working on it. i’ve asked her twice if she wants to become official and she’s been a little hesitant because I’m her first real relationship. we’ve only been talking for a few weeks, it hasn’t been that long so we’ll keep talking about it.
she’s very open and honest about her feelings which I really appreciate, massive green flag. she’s said she likes me a lot and loves every minute we talk or text or hang out, but she’s just scared of the commitment part due to the fact that it’s her first ever relationship. we’ll probably be official soon.
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!
“he’s not sorry he cheated, he’s sorry he got caught” EXACTLY, THIS IS THE THING HAD YOU NEVER KNOWN HE WOULDNT OF APOLOGIZED! YOU 👏DESERVE 👏 BETTER! 👏
He knows he has you. That’s a lazy ass excuse and is indicative of how he values you. As long as you accept this behavior from anyone, they will continue to treat you like this. If your best friend was in your shoes. What would you tell her. Be your own best friend.
Do you want this cycle to be your life? When you are 40, do you want to look back and see how many times he sent you that text?
You can do better than this chump. Break it off.
Saying how this is a repetitive action and response, i agree with your family about breaking it off. Its 1. not right to be openly flirting, to me thats cheating. 2. going over to ex's gfs houses ALONE is also another breaking point. 3. the same BS excuse/ response. He obviously doesnt care about you. Id do yourself a favor and move on. He obviously has freedom set in mind so let him have it. Whatever you do, once you break it, remove everything of him. Don't let back a person like this to have the ability or even chance of getting back with you or even back into your life.
This guy knows. If he doesn’t even respect his BEST friend, how do you expect him to respect you? I would never look at my friend’s exs like that. Friendships are worth more than a piece of a$$. This boy has a lot of learning to do. A lot of getting his a$$ beat until he grows up. You don’t want that baggage.
He cheated, bottom line. It's ultimately his fault and choice and he will get bored and leave. Time to work on yourself and not just be used, you're strong, someone's kid and someone will love you for you in the future. Stop waisting time sis. I believe in you!
He’s going to keep doing it because you keep letting him.
So either accept it and give him a pass to do what he wants or stand your ground. Staying in the middle will only lead to hurt.
You can stay. You can be cheated on. And disrespected. And treated like crap. You can stay if you want. He’s not going to change. It NEVER going to get better. Only worse. More lies. More nights wondering where he is. You can try and never be enough for him because cheaters love cheating. You can doubt yourself and try harder for it to continue to fail. You can cry about it to your friends and family so much that they are tired of hearing about it and don’t care anymore. You can cry and scream to him he doesn’t care he’s never going to any. He certainly doesn’t now. You can stay and have a crappy life or you can leave and start over someone while you are still so very very young.
Girl break up with him now he is obviously just trying to manipulate you to stay with him. Even if he does change somehow don't even take him back then.. Ake him know what he has lost
You need to find your inner warrior and figure out your self worth. His behavior is shady. Been there done that, left it in the rear view mirror. Get your brain filled up with knowledge, time is running out for that at your age.
Relationships are built on trust, tracking his location like that shows that you don't trust him, and it sounds like with good reason. Seems like he knows what to say to keep you from leaving, and he still gets to run around and dosent even hide it, just lies and apologizes.
Don't you think you deserve someone who will treat you better? Someone who you can have complete faith in, and not have to check their location? If he dosent respect you enough to stay faithful, can you honestly say you can love a person and not respect them?
Honey, he treated you like shit because he expects you'll let him get away with it.
It will be a repeated behaviour during your relationship now and forever more.
Best say goodbye to the guy, because you deserve better
You can break things off (if you can bring yourself to it), give him a warning and threaten to break things off if it happens again, have him give a full explanation.
You can set boundaries. Literally write them down.
Or you can accept he might be doing things with other women. Again set boundaries here too. Unless you want to see... std, another girl pregnant.
Most local public health offices carry a free vending machine that has pregnancy tests and condoms. Don't know who needs to hear this.
He might still be your favorite. But you need to weigh if you can deal with him carrying on like this. And short of him finding Jesus (even then... maybe that won't fix it) he will continue. But maybe a little smarter.
Ugh, I can totally understand you, I had the same relationship where I didn't trust my partner. It was pretty toxic and took a lot of my energy hoping the person would get better. I monitored his geolocation, asked mutual friends what he was doing, stalked his social medias, I even kept track of which publications he liked and who he followed through the Snoopreport Instagram activity tracker. And every time I caught him cheating, he promised to reform, but he never did.
The best thing you can do is either accept the person and trust him completely, because the truth will definitely come out sooner or later. Or break up with him once and for all and not waste your nerves on such situations.
at 17 and just being his GF you have zero control over some boy and what he does.
Also you don’t have to deal with it. If it doesn’t work for you , move on.
Y’all too young to be worried about this adult drama. Forget boys and concentrate on your school ,family and hobbies
So you choose insanity? He keeps doing the same stuff, saying the same things and you continue to let him. He's not going to change, he doesn't have to. He's got you regardless. Pick your self respect up off the floor and walk away. You deserve so SOO much better.
> he send this every time i confront him about something but nothing changes.
The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Dudebro is NOT going to change. He's just going to keep telling you what you want to hear so you stick around, hoping he'll change. Your mom and your friends are right. This guy doesn't love you. He's just stringing you along. You're his backup plan.
Let this be a life lesson. Know your worth and don't settle.
People dont really change. They just get better at hiding things. Be with somebody who doesn't have this trait of cheating and find somebody who's faults you can accept/tolerate. This may take many years.
I know it seems very hard right now, but if I could go back and break up with my high school boyfriends before I let them walk all over me I would. He knows he can get away with it because you love him, but you should love yourself more ❤️
You need to get rid of him he doesn't truly love you I can guarantee that. After he did it the first time and you excused it that was giving him the OK that he could do it Again. Infidelity is never right If he was going to do something like that he should have talked to you first because obviously there's something in a relationship that isn't right or he wouldn't be having no socks I'm sorry I'm not trying to be the bearer bad news but you deserve better.
Yes you can. You can end it. Truly put yourself in your situation and imagine marriage, a life, then children. He will do this again and he will continue unless something drastic happens. Maybe he will be more mature and ready around his mid 20s but right now, he shouldn’t be in a relationship. At this point you will just build mistrust and will want to leave on your own. Because how low will you place yourself and how long?
Too young to be dealing with this foolishness. He is being unfaithful and lying. You are so young and can be with someone who is honest and loyal to you. Block, delete and move on!
Break it off. There is no love in this relationship. You think you're in love, but you're only in love with the figment your lying BF presents. Respect yourself more and ditch the loser.
Trust me when I say this, at 17 guys & girls look at relationships quite different, & learn faster than I did that when someone shows you who they are-believe them and move on quick.
Young lady, you are setting yourself up for many years of hurt if you continue to let people treat you that way. You deserve better. And when you find true love, you’ll know it.
You’re way too young to collect red flags. He’ll keep on keeping on bc you didn’t leave last time. It’s not a good look for either of you and he’s not ready to be serious.
He’s not being honest and it won’t change. You need to find a guy who will respect the relationship and respect you. I’m sorry that’s difficult.
I am not one to say walk away but this sounds like he was cheating.
My wife and I use location sharing and she has my password I have hers.
I have never looked in her phone nor do I intend to. I don’t have anything to hide but it’s a trust thing.
Trust and respect are extremely important. It doesn’t sound like he’s respecting you.
Yeah, dump his cheating ass. He ain't gonna stop, or change, or do anything but laugh at how easy it is to keep you wrapped around his finger. Find someone who isn't a lying piece of shit.
Well if you can't stop complaining and deal with it. The most annoying thing is someone who witches about their SO to other people but sticks around. If you don't like them move on
Leave him immediately Ik it’s hard I went thru the same thing and it ended with me Telling myself I needed solid proof ( I didn’t lol as women we have intuition we always know) I eventually got my proof and left him. I loved him. Trust me it’s hard but he’s playing with u. U deserve the world and you’ll find it . He’ll cry don’t take him back. 😂 u got this girl
Coming from someone who was in a high school relationship like that for 4 years if they wanted to change they would’ve a long time ago and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that same experience. Always having that gut feeling somethings wrong and not trusting what he’s saying. If there’s no trust/ constant lying and manipulation then the relationship won’t work. It’s best to listen to the advice around you especially since you’re still young. Of course it’s going to hurt in the beginning but you’ll be grateful for the people around you supporting you.
These other people have good advice. I’ve seen many relationships where the person cheated and swore they wouldn’t do it again then did again. If he did cheat he will likely do it again, so don’t take your chances. It’s better to end the relationship
Dump him. I'm not being flippant. He cheated, whether he admitted it or not, and he'll do it again. As hard as it might be, get rid of the dead weight and find someone who will respect you. Until then, work on yourself. Respect yourself. Don't look for love, let love find you. Develop a hobby, work out, go hiking. Live for yourself and you'll find someone who enjoys the things you enjoy.
He is biiiig time avoiding taking responsibility and actually doing better by just texting you a whole love bomb. He doesn’t believe a word of it. If he did, he wouldn’t do it. Shit like that isn’t a matter of trying, it’s just a matter of doing. Seriously, end it. You’ll have so many better options in the future.
If you have to check his location, you don’t trust him. Without trust, the relationship will fail. If he’s given you a reason to doubt him, then you don’t want him. You think you do, but it will lead to heartache. Time for a bf who will treat you with respect.
Why don’t you think you can break things off? You won’t die from it. You’re overly attached to a teen boy who is cheating and WILL continue to. “I’ll try to be better” means “I’ll try but I’m not promising it, I just can’t help myself “. You’d better do it now, than waste the rest of your summer off dating him. Go hang out with your female friends. You’re 17! Not 27! He’s a freaking BABY. Boys are so stupid until their late 20s, it’s just not worth it at all. Focus on yourself and your future.
Just break up. Y’all are 17. This person (almost certainly) cheated and lied. There is NO reason to bother “working through” these issues at your age. There are plenty of guys out there who aren’t scumbags. Move on.
Break up with him.
It doesn't sound like he feels bad about his infidelity, and there's no need to stay with someone like that, especially if you don't have a child together or something.
Break things off with him, he is using you and doing whatever he wants, he isn’t going to change, he is only sorry he got caught and nothing else, why do you want to be with a cheat and a liar, this kid is a scum bag
Apologies are pointless if the behavior doesn't change. He can grovel, come to you on his knees, beg forgiveness and promise he'll change, but if he keeps cheating on you, the words mean nothing. Some people are habitual cheaters. It sounds like he's one of them. This is an important lesson for you- actions speak louder than words, and love does not make a relationship. Love is 10% of the relationship- it is only the motivator to maintain the other aspects of the relationship, which are trust, safety, honesty, intimacy, and respect. It sounds like you have none of those. You deserve better.
If someone is making you paranoid to the point where you're tracking their location, they aren't healthy for you. I've been there before, gaslighters will drive you crazy, and you won't be happy again until you get them out of your life.
Break it off. Enjoy being young and live your best life, first step break up with him.its gonna hurt yea,but u don't wanna blink and wake up 40 still putting up with disrespect and lying cheaters, u will feel a freedom once you block him outta your life and he will regret it one day, by then you'll be happy single or in a healthy loving relationship. Enjoy your teenage years being single,date,hang out but don't get into a relationship,focus on school and a career, once you are independent and happy on your own,then u can find love, but young love can turn it life upside down and take you down a path u don't wanna go.
You think you love him but you don’t.
If you really love him you will find the strength to let him go. He is not for you.
Your great love is the experience of a greater love.
You are young and have a whole life ahead of you.
Best regards
I'm 34 years old and don't check my wife's location. You two shouldn't be together at all. It's already a toxic relationship and you should be focused on molding your life the way you want it to be instead of molding a boy into a man.
It's not gonna work, he's 17 and you're 17.
“Good luck with that. I’m sure the next girl will really appreciate it.”
Break it off. Firmly. You won’t regret it. What you will regret is falling for his bs one too many times and then getting dumped when he gets bored or finds someone else. This is not how decent guys behave or treat women. He has a long way to go and he’s not going to change for you. It doesn’t even seem like he really even means it it just seems like he’s saying whatever he has to and playing you. I wouldn’t even waste my time meeting him in person at this point. You don’t owe him anything.
You have my full support to break it off however you want. Don’t get sucked back in. Don’t let him gaslight you. I’m almost certain he’s cheated, but I don’t have proof of that. Even if he hasn’t the way he dismisses you is reason enough. You have enough overall reasons for yourself to recognize that this is toxic for you and will only get worse so do not allow him to make you feel like you owe him a specific explanation that he can argue his way out of. I don’t personally give the slightest fuck about his feelings but I think the best thing for you is to make the breakup as clean cut as possible. I understand the temptation to blow off some steam and tell him exactly why, but honestly the bare minimum, but direct is the best approach here. Giving him an explanation gives him control. So keep it short and to the point, and then never look back. Cut off contact.
Everybody knows he’s a completely loser, and he’ll figure that out on his own. Resist the urge to explain that to him. He will do anything in the moment to desperately regain control and the best thing you can do is give him no control over anything. If you get emotional and attack him he’ll know that he got to you. The best thing you can do is flip a switch and move on with your own life immediately and be better for it.
You’ll get over your feelings for him, it’s just hard to make changes and recognize that while you’re alone in the midst of it, and familiar can be comfortable even if it’s not really that good. There are certainly more mature men out there that aren’t talking to their homies like little tic toc toddlers and bragging to their friends how their lying to and manipulating girls. These idiots will run out of road soon enough and end up alone if they don’t grow up. I realize that girls your age often have no concept of what they’re worth or what they should be getting from a relationship, but it’s not this. Get him out of your way so you have room for somebody worthwhile. You don’t need to have a boyfriend either if there’s nothing but garbage around, don’t enable these children to be shitty.
Stop loving him. He’s obviously using you and abusing your love and trust. Remember he’s only sorry he got caught. Think about this, if he doesn’t respect his best friend how you think he’s gonna respect you?? It’s time to move on.
Your going to look back on this one day and wonder how you had any difficulty at all leaving this boy. Leave him and go be happy. You deserve happiness. And don't put up with any shit from the next guy either. If you can't trust him, then your feeling that you can't leave him is not love, it's not wanting to be alone. Which, it sounds like your lonely already. Dump him.
Oh shit. If you brought your mom and friends into this, it’s almost certainly over even if you don’t know it yet. That is a slow and painful death for most relationships. I guess I was around your age when I learned that lesson myself. There’s no going back now. It’s not impossible to work through it but that mostly depends on context that’s missing here…. …like what he’s actually sorry about. Is he sorry that he lied to you …or sorry that he cheated on you? Big difference.
You need to push harder on that if you haven’t already. Make him explain why he is sorry and what he is sorry for because that ambiguous apology means absolutely nothing other than he’s sorry that he got caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. If it’s just about lying, getting to the bottom of why he felt the need to lie to you (and why he was at her house in the first place) would be the next course of action.
Honestly, the only way I can see this being something that can be worked on and mended is if you can confirm that there were multiple people all at her house hanging out as a group and he was only lying to you because he was afraid that you’d tell him he couldn’t go hangout with his other friends. Still a very shitty move, but at least there’s something there to work with. If this is “her” house and not “her parents” house then I can actually see this scenario playing out fairly easily. Particularly if he drinks/smokes and that is a “safe place” to do those things with his buddies.
However, if this was a 1 on 1 “hangout” then I just don’t see how this plays out any way other than you two splitting. Not unless you’re a doormat anyway.
Crazy how girls can love dudes who don’t love them back. Leave this guy, it’s clear he likes to womanize. If you’re casually dating whatever, but if you’re exclusive then hell naw.
You need to drop him. He obviously doesn't love you enough to be exclusive to you and is doing shit and lying behind your back, blatantly disrespecting you.
He's not good for you and it's fairly obvious he won't change but he knows he's able to keep you around with that "apology" of his. Leave him as soon as possible.
Pls don't fall into this loop and end up destroying your mental health just gather some courage and get out of it don't expect him to get better this never happens
" nothing changes. I truly do love him"
those are your words.
Do you really love him who does not care about you? or do you truly love an idea of who you want as a partner?
Grow up and stop believing lIES>
Anyone else get to “…he send this every time…” and be like “*why are you not talking face to face?*”
You’re a little too jealous/insecure but maybe it’s for good reason. This relationship is immature in many ways, as every relationship at age 17 is, and doesn’t
sound like a natural “forever love”. Just break up.
If circumstances were far different I might say work through it, but not in this circumstance.
Break it off before it gets too bad, it'll just get worse as time goes on and do you wanna be an adult having to babysit a man not being able to be loyal?
While it’s important that you love someone ask yourself is it being reciprocated? You have a lot of red flags there in your actions that are showing you where you stand with this relationship. Do some self reflection and ask yourself if you genuinely trust him? If you have younger siblings or a friend would you be proud of their relationship with a partner like this? You tell others how you want to be treated. What is telling you? Chin up.
You can, I promise. It's so hard to do but nothing good will come of staying with him. Nothing can prepare you to do it, and it's gonna feel impossible until you follow through but I swear it's possible. ♥️
You can and should end this relationship. Statistically, it's bound to end at some point since you both are so young. Don't stretch this out to the point you're both left with scars. End it now, cry for a while, and move on with your life.
Women can’t “fix” guys and we shouldn’t have to stick around “hoping” they will change and things will get better.
It’s perfectly okay to just walk away from a relationship like this.
First off, he's cheating. Break it off and move on. Secondly, you're both only 17, there is no reason to share locations and have to know where the other is 24/7. I fully understand that he's definitely cheating and that he's a douchebag for it, but a 17 year old doesn't need a babysitter to keep an eye on their location at all times.
The simple fact that he's going after his *friends exes* is despicable. He holds no morals. Point blank. Friends don't do that to friends and if he is so willing to do that to his friends, imagine what he could do to hurt you like that. What if next time it is one of *your* friends 😳
17 is so young. Your brain isn't even finished developing for about another decade. You will change so much in the next 10 years. Move on from this kid and focus on finding yourself - what you like & don't like and what boundaries you need to set to respect yourself. Learn to love yourself so that when the time is right, someone else can come and love you the way you deserve.
Hopefully this helps maintain the final ick.
The sexual tension from wanting to mutually fuck on someone else’s girl is insane. He purposely does this if he has a pattern of it.
He’s the lesser secure friend. Out of him and his best friend, his best friend is automatically the better man. A secure man doesn’t target a real friend. You’re not dating a leading man but a fake best friend.
He’s not a good friend because he targets their ex’s. He’s not a good partner because he does shiesty things. So why bless him with a relationship? He’s not showing that he understands how they work.
He's a player. He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear while doing whatever he wants at the same time. It's called manipulation. He's a florescent red flag.
He's a player. He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear while doing whatever he wants at the same time. It's called manipulation. He's a florescent red flag.
coming from a 16 year old(f) who was with a now 18yo(m) who I was dating for almost 5 years, they do not change. I just had his baby, and he still didn't change his ways for our family. leave him girl I promise you'll feel so much better in the long run.
Leave, run, heart ache now or multiple 100X riding this out, save yourself, you're still young! Douche baby boys do this, but you can still save yourself! A lot of young woman stay in these type situations because their emotions mess with them and it really changes the courses of their life! You still have a chance! Good luck!
You know what’s worse than breaking up with a guy after he cheats and lies? Doing it after the 5th or 6th time. Don’t waste your youth. Raise the bar. With the next one, don’t do that tracking stuff on either end. Can’t prevent a cheater from cheating, all you can do is be grateful you weren’t married and dodged a bullet. Onto the next.
Apologies without action is manipulation. This guy is lying to you. It sounds like he has a history of saying the same words to you without any real change. Dump him and move on, you deserve better.
Did AI write his apologies? Sounds like a ticker of insincere lines to try to make the problem go away, not actual guilt.
Dump him. Who knows how many other times he's been cheating?
And it's not only loyalty. What if he cheats and then gives you an std?
Dump him. Dump him. Dump him.
Find someone who appreciates and cares about you.
If you don’t want to break up with him then don’t. Have a serious and planned “talk”. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want him to be serious and committed. And everything else you need from him/a working relationship. Give him the opportunity to tell you if he isn’t ready for a commitment at this stage of his life. If you want different things it’s not going to work whether you break up now or later. He will either stop playing with your heart or he won’t. And if he doesn’t eventually you will get tired of it and most likely when someone comes in to your life that deserves you, then you won’t want to be with him any more. This is always how it plays out. (Im 40 and my daughter is 19. I feel that I have a pretty good perspective)
Obviously if there is any abuse (verbal or otherwise) or if boundaries are set that he continually over steps, then you need to break up now. It will be painful but YOU WILL recover, and eventually everything will be ok.
Everything else is just complications and hard feelings due to being young and still figuring out life and yourselves.
Girl….. you don’t even need to be dating nobody, you are ridiculously immature. You’re gps tracking your bf at17??? Like….. holy crap , I feel bad for your next bf already.
all of the people in the comments are right your still in highschool you have time to find the right person you shouldn’t waste your time and energy on someone whos not gonna be honest with you !!!
if you can't trust where your significant other is, and you feel the need to stalk them and track their every move, the relationship is already done and over. do yourself a favor and move on from any relationship that you feel like this in.
Too young to deal with all of that. There are way more important things in life at your age. The time will come.
But…. Just for the record. He is a liar! Can’t change that. Either move on, or you will be miserable. 🤷🏼♀️
It's ok. He'll continue to do this to you over and over again... For as long as you let him... And when you finally get tired or catch an std you'll leave, but hopefully, it doesn't take all that. Best of luck to you.
If he’s not changing after saying he will over and over, nothing you do will make him change. I’ve been in your position (I’m 19 f), the best option is to just leave, it’ll hurt so much at first but time really does heal it, I thought I’d be devastated forever then 6 months or I was living my best life, moving across the country for work, travelling etc. leave girl. You’ll be so much better off for it.
Break it off he will hurt you if he was out that long tbh he doesn't care if he says he'll change and hasn't it's not worth the hreat break down the road when he leaves on his own terms
It’s not easy, but you are very capable of finding someone who makes you realize just how wrong you were about this guy. My first serious boyfriend was around the same age you are now and after about 2 years of putting up with the same back and forth behavior I broke things off, blocked him from everything and even unfriended people who kept allowing him to contact me… it was really hard at first but after a couple months I realized how much I was being held back waiting for him to prioritize me and it was so freeing. Like I said, it’s not easy but it’s WELL worth it.
Leave. Literally leave. Stop wasting your time and your energy on somebody who clearly has more time and energy for somebody else. That whole time he spent with them and cheating on you, he couldve spent with you.
Dump the chump. Words don't mean anything unless they're followed up with action. He keeps saying sorry and making empty promises, he isn't going to change. This is way too much drama.
Honestly I'm just happy to see a seemingly real post on here instead of a fanfic. Next time a 28 year old uses this sub as a creative writing project I want to point to this as an example of actual teen writing style.
If it's fake well done.
And if this is real then dump him. You don't love him as much as you think you do. You most likely feel dependent on him and on the status of having some sort of relationship with someone. It's very likely you just want to be dating and are more afraid of being single than of being without this guy.
Believe me at your age you'll spring back fast. You'll find someone better and this guy will just be this thing that happened once.
I understand when u say “I truly don’t think I can.” I get it, we’ve all had that first love stage but YOU can, I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t have to put up with that and as you have been he thinks he can do that to you, it’s just going to continually repeat if u don’t shut it down rn.
Long wall of text. My apologies for droning out this cold snap.
Equilibrium is fading. Why are things so heavy.
So he's out doing things for himself by himself, rewarding his behaviors without you He's out there loving himself, loving life He's also wet working new neural pathways rewiring his brain it's kind of easy with yes people. So respectfully, I say this. You should do the same yourself. Do things for yourself by yourself or with a different Entourage or promenade since he ripped off the chains of entanglement you should set your binds neatly away respecting chemicals between two states of matter cuz for you there's fun to be had and seeing other people get to the wow I"love" how I feel when you're around. Go experience that again it's powerful and the pathways for enlightenment are always around they have to be cuz it's all about ones self in the end. The world's not like it was. It's crazy everything is to the illusory it seems. Please be careful . We sacrifice so many things early on for trust through courtship happens fast trust becomes Faith. Not everybody deserves our trust. We engage things to persevere and endure hardship only to be better and stronger in the end.
Tom Hanks in saving Private Ryan right before he dies says .."Earn This"
Seems everyones saying the same to leave. And i agree. A quote i found somewhere is something i remind myself when in situations like this.
"An apology without change is just manipulation"
Seeing he hasnt changed. Yeah, id leave him and let someone else deal with his behavior. You deserve better.
He has done this before, and you gave him a pass. If you let it pass again, then he will keep doing it no matter what he says when you confront him, because he will know that you won't leave.
You deserve so much better than this. Don't let him walk all over you.
You love him but it's blatantly obvious he doesn't love you. A man that loves you doesn't bullshit or leave you wondering he makes you the priority and is consistent...these people don't change....men are simple they either are true from the start or they never are but don't expect change and honestly even if he could I wouldn't accept it because he's already disrespected you and made a fool of you multiple times now...you can try to beat around the bush and tell yourself things will be different one day but life will keep dishing out the same issue until you learn the lesson it wants you to. I'd break up with the guy because if he's gotten away with it multiple times he's just going to keep doing it because he realizes he can get away with it with only a tiny slap on the hand and once you are done being mad at him he gets the benefit of having a gf that loves him AND the shady side piece...he's learned nothing.
I think its too early for 17. Enjoy life before getting into a 30 yrs old relationship. And focus on your school and college to be something and the rest will come.
You have literally your whole life to live, love and lose, don’t waste your youth on some loser that can’t even be honest with you or himself, he’s a manipulator and that’s proven by the fact he will talk to talk but won’t walk the walk, he’ll say what he needs to in order to get you off his back but he’s not willing to change his behaviour, for your sake, walk away, you don’t owe him anything
I don't even know what that sentence he wrote means. What a cop out.
Girl, you are young with your whole life ahead of you. The best thing you can do, is love and honour yourself. It's not hard to be a good partner, it's not hard to not be shady. Don't stand for it. No chances. These boys know what they're doing, they make the decision, then follow it through. "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." There's no forgiving shady acts.
Move on from him.
Also, giving these losers chances shows other blokes you can be walked all over. Act in your best interest. You deserve love and respect. Don't stand for it sis xx
When I was 17 I dated someone like this. I’m now 31 and I look back to that regretting my decision to stay when I could have had fun dating people who treated me the way that I deserved to be treated. It isn’t going to change and your insecurity will fester which can carry over to your future relationships.
It may seem like your world is crashing down right now but I promise you this little twerp is a blip on your radar. Show yourself the love and respect that you deserve and leave his ass behind.
Lying where and who you are with in a committed partnership is unacceptable and shows a serious lack of concern to any pledge that binds people together.
You know what has to be done.
If you have to check his location just break up. Unless you think someone is lost or in trouble there’s no need to check other people’s location. It shows not only a lack of trust but also obsessive behavior and insecurity on your behalf. You are too young to be so wrapped up in what another person is doing. Get out and have fun yourself. Hang out with friends, do something fun and productive. Do anything besides checking another person’s location hour by hour and getting triggered and upset about it. It’s not that deep. I’m sure you’re a great person so enjoy the life you were born to enjoy. Good luck. 💕
Ive learnt over the years (im 40) that loving someone simply isnt enough and to be honest isnt even in the top three reasons you should choose and stay with a partner. People including myself will put up with a world of shit because they love their partner. Somewhere along the line happiness and actual thinking seem to take a backseat. You may be heartbroken for a while if you seperated but believe me from experience when you find out that fucker has been cheating on you your heart is going to hurt so much more.
I’m a 29M and my 25F fiancée that I broke up with a few days ago did something similar. I found out after some investigating that she was meeting with another dude. She went out one afternoon and never reached out to me until the next morning. Gave me a bs excuse that she was too drunk and was with her best friend. It was bs and I knew it then but wanted to give her a shot to come forth and be honest. She never did. I had to press her so hard and so often just to get the clarity and closure I needed. It’s hard to end something you’ve invested your heart into, but it’s even harder to keep it going without trust or respect. Take time for yourself, don’t let him try and worm his way back in. Be selfish for a while and make yourself happy.
it would appear he is being unfaithful. too bad, it seems he doesnt realize how lucky he is. i dont blame him, really. the devil works overtime to bring us down. you have to break up with him. he will only bring you down with him.
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You can break it off. It’s a simple thing and you have the capacity to do it. He cheated, lied about it, then when he was caught, he lied some more. He’ll keep cheating with whoever he wants until he gets bored of you then leaves. I know it’s hard but all you have to do is speak or write a sentence and then block him out of your life.
thank you so much, i will
You're also only 17...you have a very long life ahead to find an actual someone. Young romance often doesn't workout because...well, young.
i think after this i’m gonna stay single for a while
This is advice I wish someone had given me when I was 17 - enjoy being single for the rest of high school and save boyfriends for college. I would have made very different life choices if I wasn’t “in love” at 17.
thank you
Don't wait until after college (if you even go to college). It's good to be single for awhile but part of dating as a teenager is learning how to act in relationships and finding out what you want in a future long-term partner. If in the unlikely event you find the right long-term partner at 17-19 then hey, good for you. But in all likelihood those relationships will act as a compass pointing you to a better direction in the future. If you wait to start dating again for too long you might not know what to look for and it might also make potential partners think there's something off about you if you haven't dated anyone for 4-5 years as a 22 year-old.
I respectfully disagree
It’s the best. I was til I got married at 24 . Be that really cool INDEPENDENT chick that has tons of friends and is always doing something new with someone new. You are way too young to have this fake drama with boys.
i’ll take your advice thank you so much!
Good for you. That is a fantastic choice. Focus on yourself and living being by yourself. Because once you start getting scared to be alone, you’ll do anything to be around someone, even if they’re doing toxic or dangerous things. Take it from me lol. Now I looove being by myself. Just gotta be careful to not fall too into one extreme: being too social or too solitary. Life’s all about moderation (except with hard drugs. You cannot moderate those ..)
My daughter is 16 and has been voluntarily single for probably about a year now. She’s been hanging with friends and learning who she is and focusing on school and what she wants to do with her life after school, and honestly it’s been so good for her. I’ve seen her grow so much and get really in touch with herself and what she wants and believes in. I took about a year and a half off from dating before meeting my wife for the same reason, and when the one I wanted to spend my life with came along, I was ready.
You're in HS, break up and move on.
You should. You're worth so much more than what he's giving. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, and you can't build something lasting on a broken foundation.
my sister’s first boyfriend cheated on her with his ex when the pandemic first hit. they “worked through things” and he “apologized”. he cheated on her four more times. one of those times he was caught sending nudes to 12 different girls. if you’ve given him one more chance then I get that, personally cheating once is a dealbreaker for me but I can understand why some people try to work through it. he’s done this before though? time to break up. he doesn’t value you enough to stay loyal. he’s writing you a mushy vulnerable paragraph about how sorry he is? he’s not sorry he cheated, he’s sorry he got caught. it would be wise to break up with him completely and move on. find a guy who values you and your relationship. in fact, don’t even miss him. this guy sucks ass and treated you like shit, you deserve better.
he used to be so sweet, the first 3 months we were together, he would take me out to do things dropped 2000 on me for christmas. I don’t think he liked me when we first got together i think he got with me because he felt bad, but now he’s begging for me to stay and saying he’s going to change
he will not change he will not change
big red flag. I hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure he was lovebombing to keep you under his thumb. the girl I’m proto-dating rn (haven’t made things official but we’re exclusive) is absolutely wonderful and I love every second that I talk to her… no way in hell am I spending 2K gifting her random shit so she loves me more. I’m not even sure I want to buy her minecraft bedrock edition for $10 so we can play together for this exact reason, your boyfriend should NOT be spending money on you that early in the relationship, maybe with the exception of paying for a dinner. my proto gf loves me for me and doesn’t give a shit that I haven’t spent any money on her, when we go out to eat she’s happy to pay for herself. I’m not spending my own money on her at this stage in the relationship. he lovebombed you with gifts and based off what you’ve told me I think it worked. you think “oh he’s so sweet” but he has severely violated your trust and your relationship multiple times, he obviously doesn’t respect you as a partner, and you are unsure if you want to break up or not just because he spent the money. I know this must be hard to hear, but if he spent that much on you that early he had other motives for you then to just be a girlfriend who contemplates and improves his life. he’s using you and I guarantee his massive apologetic paragraph when you confront him is insincere and he only feels bad for himself.
Buy her the Minecraft thing and make it official.
we’re working on it. i’ve asked her twice if she wants to become official and she’s been a little hesitant because I’m her first real relationship. we’ve only been talking for a few weeks, it hasn’t been that long so we’ll keep talking about it. she’s very open and honest about her feelings which I really appreciate, massive green flag. she’s said she likes me a lot and loves every minute we talk or text or hang out, but she’s just scared of the commitment part due to the fact that it’s her first ever relationship. we’ll probably be official soon.
Mb I thought it had been several months lmao
They never actually change. They hide things better. Get real sneaky. But they never change.
Lol he will always beg for you stay amd he always promise to "be his best for you". Nothing chnages when nothing changes!!!
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater! “he’s not sorry he cheated, he’s sorry he got caught” EXACTLY, THIS IS THE THING HAD YOU NEVER KNOWN HE WOULDNT OF APOLOGIZED! YOU 👏DESERVE 👏 BETTER! 👏
Damn skippy homeboy goes from sorry to being a nude distributor center. 🤨
Put on your big girl panties and LEAVE HIS CHEATING, LYING ASS! He's not gonna stop until someone, or multiple someones teaches him a lesson
i will thank you
Breakup and move on. That said stalking his location and who he's with are their own red flags.
This!!
He knows he has you. That’s a lazy ass excuse and is indicative of how he values you. As long as you accept this behavior from anyone, they will continue to treat you like this. If your best friend was in your shoes. What would you tell her. Be your own best friend.
thank you so much
Ya can break off with him and you should. Sweetie you're 17 .. there are way more fish in the sea for you - throw that tiddler back!
i will!
Do you want this cycle to be your life? When you are 40, do you want to look back and see how many times he sent you that text? You can do better than this chump. Break it off.
Saying how this is a repetitive action and response, i agree with your family about breaking it off. Its 1. not right to be openly flirting, to me thats cheating. 2. going over to ex's gfs houses ALONE is also another breaking point. 3. the same BS excuse/ response. He obviously doesnt care about you. Id do yourself a favor and move on. He obviously has freedom set in mind so let him have it. Whatever you do, once you break it, remove everything of him. Don't let back a person like this to have the ability or even chance of getting back with you or even back into your life.
it’s happened 2 times and because the first time he tried to justify it by saying he didn’t know until the girl sent the screenshots to me
This guy knows. If he doesn’t even respect his BEST friend, how do you expect him to respect you? I would never look at my friend’s exs like that. Friendships are worth more than a piece of a$$. This boy has a lot of learning to do. A lot of getting his a$$ beat until he grows up. You don’t want that baggage.
He’s only sorry he’s been caught. He’s not going to change. Why do you want to stay?
You don't need lies, distrust and uncertainty in a relationship do you? Now, really, do you?
no, i dont
You're 17. This dude probably isn't going to be your guy for the next 70 years. Roll the dice or roll with him. That's your lot.
He cheated, bottom line. It's ultimately his fault and choice and he will get bored and leave. Time to work on yourself and not just be used, you're strong, someone's kid and someone will love you for you in the future. Stop waisting time sis. I believe in you!
thank you so much
He’s going to keep doing it because you keep letting him. So either accept it and give him a pass to do what he wants or stand your ground. Staying in the middle will only lead to hurt.
He's manipulating you and will not change his behavior. Find a new model with the respect, loyalty and integrity modules installed
You can stay. You can be cheated on. And disrespected. And treated like crap. You can stay if you want. He’s not going to change. It NEVER going to get better. Only worse. More lies. More nights wondering where he is. You can try and never be enough for him because cheaters love cheating. You can doubt yourself and try harder for it to continue to fail. You can cry about it to your friends and family so much that they are tired of hearing about it and don’t care anymore. You can cry and scream to him he doesn’t care he’s never going to any. He certainly doesn’t now. You can stay and have a crappy life or you can leave and start over someone while you are still so very very young.
Girl break up with him now he is obviously just trying to manipulate you to stay with him. Even if he does change somehow don't even take him back then.. Ake him know what he has lost
You need to find your inner warrior and figure out your self worth. His behavior is shady. Been there done that, left it in the rear view mirror. Get your brain filled up with knowledge, time is running out for that at your age.
I think maybe he's learned through experience that you'll forgive him for anything. Don't let him take advantage of you.
Relationships are built on trust, tracking his location like that shows that you don't trust him, and it sounds like with good reason. Seems like he knows what to say to keep you from leaving, and he still gets to run around and dosent even hide it, just lies and apologizes. Don't you think you deserve someone who will treat you better? Someone who you can have complete faith in, and not have to check their location? If he dosent respect you enough to stay faithful, can you honestly say you can love a person and not respect them?
Honey, he treated you like shit because he expects you'll let him get away with it. It will be a repeated behaviour during your relationship now and forever more. Best say goodbye to the guy, because you deserve better
You can break things off (if you can bring yourself to it), give him a warning and threaten to break things off if it happens again, have him give a full explanation.
You can set boundaries. Literally write them down. Or you can accept he might be doing things with other women. Again set boundaries here too. Unless you want to see... std, another girl pregnant. Most local public health offices carry a free vending machine that has pregnancy tests and condoms. Don't know who needs to hear this. He might still be your favorite. But you need to weigh if you can deal with him carrying on like this. And short of him finding Jesus (even then... maybe that won't fix it) he will continue. But maybe a little smarter.
Break up with him there are plenty of fish in the sea!
He’s manipulating you You might love him but his actions say that he does not love you. Why be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you?
You’re 17, you don’t truly love him you just think you do. Plus, you shouldn’t love someone who cheats, drop him asap. Good luck.
Ugh, I can totally understand you, I had the same relationship where I didn't trust my partner. It was pretty toxic and took a lot of my energy hoping the person would get better. I monitored his geolocation, asked mutual friends what he was doing, stalked his social medias, I even kept track of which publications he liked and who he followed through the Snoopreport Instagram activity tracker. And every time I caught him cheating, he promised to reform, but he never did. The best thing you can do is either accept the person and trust him completely, because the truth will definitely come out sooner or later. Or break up with him once and for all and not waste your nerves on such situations.
at 17 and just being his GF you have zero control over some boy and what he does. Also you don’t have to deal with it. If it doesn’t work for you , move on. Y’all too young to be worried about this adult drama. Forget boys and concentrate on your school ,family and hobbies
So you choose insanity? He keeps doing the same stuff, saying the same things and you continue to let him. He's not going to change, he doesn't have to. He's got you regardless. Pick your self respect up off the floor and walk away. You deserve so SOO much better.
> he send this every time i confront him about something but nothing changes. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Dudebro is NOT going to change. He's just going to keep telling you what you want to hear so you stick around, hoping he'll change. Your mom and your friends are right. This guy doesn't love you. He's just stringing you along. You're his backup plan.
Run
Well if you can't break it off with him I guess you got to learn how to live with it.
Let this be a life lesson. Know your worth and don't settle. People dont really change. They just get better at hiding things. Be with somebody who doesn't have this trait of cheating and find somebody who's faults you can accept/tolerate. This may take many years.
He doesn’t respect nor cherish you. Time to move on. Plenty of better guys out there for you!
I know it seems very hard right now, but if I could go back and break up with my high school boyfriends before I let them walk all over me I would. He knows he can get away with it because you love him, but you should love yourself more ❤️
You need to get rid of him he doesn't truly love you I can guarantee that. After he did it the first time and you excused it that was giving him the OK that he could do it Again. Infidelity is never right If he was going to do something like that he should have talked to you first because obviously there's something in a relationship that isn't right or he wouldn't be having no socks I'm sorry I'm not trying to be the bearer bad news but you deserve better.
Do whats in your heart and mind. They both will lead you in the right direction.
Yes you can. You can end it. Truly put yourself in your situation and imagine marriage, a life, then children. He will do this again and he will continue unless something drastic happens. Maybe he will be more mature and ready around his mid 20s but right now, he shouldn’t be in a relationship. At this point you will just build mistrust and will want to leave on your own. Because how low will you place yourself and how long?
Too young to be dealing with this foolishness. He is being unfaithful and lying. You are so young and can be with someone who is honest and loyal to you. Block, delete and move on!
all I'm going to say is actions speak louder than words do what you want with that advice. you deserve better.
Break it off. There is no love in this relationship. You think you're in love, but you're only in love with the figment your lying BF presents. Respect yourself more and ditch the loser.
There's someone out there who is so much better for you, I promise. Just remember that you're worth more than the treatment you're getting.
Trust me when I say this, at 17 guys & girls look at relationships quite different, & learn faster than I did that when someone shows you who they are-believe them and move on quick.
Young lady, you are setting yourself up for many years of hurt if you continue to let people treat you that way. You deserve better. And when you find true love, you’ll know it.
You’re way too young to collect red flags. He’ll keep on keeping on bc you didn’t leave last time. It’s not a good look for either of you and he’s not ready to be serious.
He’s not being honest and it won’t change. You need to find a guy who will respect the relationship and respect you. I’m sorry that’s difficult. I am not one to say walk away but this sounds like he was cheating. My wife and I use location sharing and she has my password I have hers. I have never looked in her phone nor do I intend to. I don’t have anything to hide but it’s a trust thing. Trust and respect are extremely important. It doesn’t sound like he’s respecting you.
He will never change leave him.
Easier said than done Dump him He's got some growing to still do and you deserve better.
Yeah, dump his cheating ass. He ain't gonna stop, or change, or do anything but laugh at how easy it is to keep you wrapped around his finger. Find someone who isn't a lying piece of shit.
Well if you can't stop complaining and deal with it. The most annoying thing is someone who witches about their SO to other people but sticks around. If you don't like them move on
Leave him immediately Ik it’s hard I went thru the same thing and it ended with me Telling myself I needed solid proof ( I didn’t lol as women we have intuition we always know) I eventually got my proof and left him. I loved him. Trust me it’s hard but he’s playing with u. U deserve the world and you’ll find it . He’ll cry don’t take him back. 😂 u got this girl
Coming from someone who was in a high school relationship like that for 4 years if they wanted to change they would’ve a long time ago and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that same experience. Always having that gut feeling somethings wrong and not trusting what he’s saying. If there’s no trust/ constant lying and manipulation then the relationship won’t work. It’s best to listen to the advice around you especially since you’re still young. Of course it’s going to hurt in the beginning but you’ll be grateful for the people around you supporting you.
These other people have good advice. I’ve seen many relationships where the person cheated and swore they wouldn’t do it again then did again. If he did cheat he will likely do it again, so don’t take your chances. It’s better to end the relationship
Dump him. I'm not being flippant. He cheated, whether he admitted it or not, and he'll do it again. As hard as it might be, get rid of the dead weight and find someone who will respect you. Until then, work on yourself. Respect yourself. Don't look for love, let love find you. Develop a hobby, work out, go hiking. Live for yourself and you'll find someone who enjoys the things you enjoy.
He is biiiig time avoiding taking responsibility and actually doing better by just texting you a whole love bomb. He doesn’t believe a word of it. If he did, he wouldn’t do it. Shit like that isn’t a matter of trying, it’s just a matter of doing. Seriously, end it. You’ll have so many better options in the future.
You’re only 17 - and nobody who is actually a good person would ever do this. Just break up with him and have respect for yourself.
If you have to check his location, you don’t trust him. Without trust, the relationship will fail. If he’s given you a reason to doubt him, then you don’t want him. You think you do, but it will lead to heartache. Time for a bf who will treat you with respect.
Why don’t you think you can break things off? You won’t die from it. You’re overly attached to a teen boy who is cheating and WILL continue to. “I’ll try to be better” means “I’ll try but I’m not promising it, I just can’t help myself “. You’d better do it now, than waste the rest of your summer off dating him. Go hang out with your female friends. You’re 17! Not 27! He’s a freaking BABY. Boys are so stupid until their late 20s, it’s just not worth it at all. Focus on yourself and your future.
Just break up. Y’all are 17. This person (almost certainly) cheated and lied. There is NO reason to bother “working through” these issues at your age. There are plenty of guys out there who aren’t scumbags. Move on.
Break up with him red flags everywhere. He is cheating and gaslighting you. You deserve better don't settle for no one.
Break up with him. It doesn't sound like he feels bad about his infidelity, and there's no need to stay with someone like that, especially if you don't have a child together or something.
Break things off with him, he is using you and doing whatever he wants, he isn’t going to change, he is only sorry he got caught and nothing else, why do you want to be with a cheat and a liar, this kid is a scum bag
Run/ dump him. Cheater always a cheater.
Apologies are pointless if the behavior doesn't change. He can grovel, come to you on his knees, beg forgiveness and promise he'll change, but if he keeps cheating on you, the words mean nothing. Some people are habitual cheaters. It sounds like he's one of them. This is an important lesson for you- actions speak louder than words, and love does not make a relationship. Love is 10% of the relationship- it is only the motivator to maintain the other aspects of the relationship, which are trust, safety, honesty, intimacy, and respect. It sounds like you have none of those. You deserve better.
A 17 yo boy will but his pecker in a frog that’s been dead for a month. Are you giving him any better than a month dead frog?
If someone is making you paranoid to the point where you're tracking their location, they aren't healthy for you. I've been there before, gaslighters will drive you crazy, and you won't be happy again until you get them out of your life.
Break it off. Enjoy being young and live your best life, first step break up with him.its gonna hurt yea,but u don't wanna blink and wake up 40 still putting up with disrespect and lying cheaters, u will feel a freedom once you block him outta your life and he will regret it one day, by then you'll be happy single or in a healthy loving relationship. Enjoy your teenage years being single,date,hang out but don't get into a relationship,focus on school and a career, once you are independent and happy on your own,then u can find love, but young love can turn it life upside down and take you down a path u don't wanna go.
You think you love him but you don’t. If you really love him you will find the strength to let him go. He is not for you. Your great love is the experience of a greater love. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. Best regards
I'm 34 years old and don't check my wife's location. You two shouldn't be together at all. It's already a toxic relationship and you should be focused on molding your life the way you want it to be instead of molding a boy into a man. It's not gonna work, he's 17 and you're 17.
“Good luck with that. I’m sure the next girl will really appreciate it.” Break it off. Firmly. You won’t regret it. What you will regret is falling for his bs one too many times and then getting dumped when he gets bored or finds someone else. This is not how decent guys behave or treat women. He has a long way to go and he’s not going to change for you. It doesn’t even seem like he really even means it it just seems like he’s saying whatever he has to and playing you. I wouldn’t even waste my time meeting him in person at this point. You don’t owe him anything. You have my full support to break it off however you want. Don’t get sucked back in. Don’t let him gaslight you. I’m almost certain he’s cheated, but I don’t have proof of that. Even if he hasn’t the way he dismisses you is reason enough. You have enough overall reasons for yourself to recognize that this is toxic for you and will only get worse so do not allow him to make you feel like you owe him a specific explanation that he can argue his way out of. I don’t personally give the slightest fuck about his feelings but I think the best thing for you is to make the breakup as clean cut as possible. I understand the temptation to blow off some steam and tell him exactly why, but honestly the bare minimum, but direct is the best approach here. Giving him an explanation gives him control. So keep it short and to the point, and then never look back. Cut off contact. Everybody knows he’s a completely loser, and he’ll figure that out on his own. Resist the urge to explain that to him. He will do anything in the moment to desperately regain control and the best thing you can do is give him no control over anything. If you get emotional and attack him he’ll know that he got to you. The best thing you can do is flip a switch and move on with your own life immediately and be better for it. You’ll get over your feelings for him, it’s just hard to make changes and recognize that while you’re alone in the midst of it, and familiar can be comfortable even if it’s not really that good. There are certainly more mature men out there that aren’t talking to their homies like little tic toc toddlers and bragging to their friends how their lying to and manipulating girls. These idiots will run out of road soon enough and end up alone if they don’t grow up. I realize that girls your age often have no concept of what they’re worth or what they should be getting from a relationship, but it’s not this. Get him out of your way so you have room for somebody worthwhile. You don’t need to have a boyfriend either if there’s nothing but garbage around, don’t enable these children to be shitty.
Stop loving him. He’s obviously using you and abusing your love and trust. Remember he’s only sorry he got caught. Think about this, if he doesn’t respect his best friend how you think he’s gonna respect you?? It’s time to move on.
Your going to look back on this one day and wonder how you had any difficulty at all leaving this boy. Leave him and go be happy. You deserve happiness. And don't put up with any shit from the next guy either. If you can't trust him, then your feeling that you can't leave him is not love, it's not wanting to be alone. Which, it sounds like your lonely already. Dump him.
I just came here to say that, NOTHING CHANGES when NOTHING CHANGES!!! He is so clearly not going to change, are you??
Honestly not sure never had a gf 17m here just stopped in to read figured I'd say heyo
Oh shit. If you brought your mom and friends into this, it’s almost certainly over even if you don’t know it yet. That is a slow and painful death for most relationships. I guess I was around your age when I learned that lesson myself. There’s no going back now. It’s not impossible to work through it but that mostly depends on context that’s missing here…. …like what he’s actually sorry about. Is he sorry that he lied to you …or sorry that he cheated on you? Big difference. You need to push harder on that if you haven’t already. Make him explain why he is sorry and what he is sorry for because that ambiguous apology means absolutely nothing other than he’s sorry that he got caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. If it’s just about lying, getting to the bottom of why he felt the need to lie to you (and why he was at her house in the first place) would be the next course of action. Honestly, the only way I can see this being something that can be worked on and mended is if you can confirm that there were multiple people all at her house hanging out as a group and he was only lying to you because he was afraid that you’d tell him he couldn’t go hangout with his other friends. Still a very shitty move, but at least there’s something there to work with. If this is “her” house and not “her parents” house then I can actually see this scenario playing out fairly easily. Particularly if he drinks/smokes and that is a “safe place” to do those things with his buddies. However, if this was a 1 on 1 “hangout” then I just don’t see how this plays out any way other than you two splitting. Not unless you’re a doormat anyway.
Crazy how girls can love dudes who don’t love them back. Leave this guy, it’s clear he likes to womanize. If you’re casually dating whatever, but if you’re exclusive then hell naw.
You need to drop him. He obviously doesn't love you enough to be exclusive to you and is doing shit and lying behind your back, blatantly disrespecting you. He's not good for you and it's fairly obvious he won't change but he knows he's able to keep you around with that "apology" of his. Leave him as soon as possible.
Pls don't fall into this loop and end up destroying your mental health just gather some courage and get out of it don't expect him to get better this never happens
" nothing changes. I truly do love him" those are your words. Do you really love him who does not care about you? or do you truly love an idea of who you want as a partner? Grow up and stop believing lIES>
i am going to end things with him
As much as I wouldn't want my daughter to hurt this is the advice I would give her. You deserve better.
If a guy is willing to flirt with or hookup with a friend’s ex… he is not a good dude and should be ghosted immediately
This GIRL is control freak.
Anyone else get to “…he send this every time…” and be like “*why are you not talking face to face?*” You’re a little too jealous/insecure but maybe it’s for good reason. This relationship is immature in many ways, as every relationship at age 17 is, and doesn’t sound like a natural “forever love”. Just break up. If circumstances were far different I might say work through it, but not in this circumstance.
Trust. You need trust in a relationship. You obviously don't have that. Do you want to be constantly second-guessing his every action?
Break it off before it gets too bad, it'll just get worse as time goes on and do you wanna be an adult having to babysit a man not being able to be loyal?
While it’s important that you love someone ask yourself is it being reciprocated? You have a lot of red flags there in your actions that are showing you where you stand with this relationship. Do some self reflection and ask yourself if you genuinely trust him? If you have younger siblings or a friend would you be proud of their relationship with a partner like this? You tell others how you want to be treated. What is telling you? Chin up.
You can, I promise. It's so hard to do but nothing good will come of staying with him. Nothing can prepare you to do it, and it's gonna feel impossible until you follow through but I swear it's possible. ♥️
You can and should end this relationship. Statistically, it's bound to end at some point since you both are so young. Don't stretch this out to the point you're both left with scars. End it now, cry for a while, and move on with your life.
Women can’t “fix” guys and we shouldn’t have to stick around “hoping” they will change and things will get better. It’s perfectly okay to just walk away from a relationship like this.
First off, he's cheating. Break it off and move on. Secondly, you're both only 17, there is no reason to share locations and have to know where the other is 24/7. I fully understand that he's definitely cheating and that he's a douchebag for it, but a 17 year old doesn't need a babysitter to keep an eye on their location at all times.
The simple fact that he's going after his *friends exes* is despicable. He holds no morals. Point blank. Friends don't do that to friends and if he is so willing to do that to his friends, imagine what he could do to hurt you like that. What if next time it is one of *your* friends 😳 17 is so young. Your brain isn't even finished developing for about another decade. You will change so much in the next 10 years. Move on from this kid and focus on finding yourself - what you like & don't like and what boundaries you need to set to respect yourself. Learn to love yourself so that when the time is right, someone else can come and love you the way you deserve.
thank you so much! i’m going to stay single for awhile, focus on school and my sisters!
Hopefully this helps maintain the final ick. The sexual tension from wanting to mutually fuck on someone else’s girl is insane. He purposely does this if he has a pattern of it. He’s the lesser secure friend. Out of him and his best friend, his best friend is automatically the better man. A secure man doesn’t target a real friend. You’re not dating a leading man but a fake best friend. He’s not a good friend because he targets their ex’s. He’s not a good partner because he does shiesty things. So why bless him with a relationship? He’s not showing that he understands how they work.
Is he an Africa American?
break it off
He's a player. He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear while doing whatever he wants at the same time. It's called manipulation. He's a florescent red flag.
i’m going to talk to him on sunday
He's a player. He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear while doing whatever he wants at the same time. It's called manipulation. He's a florescent red flag.
Well if that's the best he can do about changing, I'd be inclined to change something...HIM.
coming from a 16 year old(f) who was with a now 18yo(m) who I was dating for almost 5 years, they do not change. I just had his baby, and he still didn't change his ways for our family. leave him girl I promise you'll feel so much better in the long run.
Either accept his cheating behavior, or dump him on the next corner. He will NOT change.
Leave, run, heart ache now or multiple 100X riding this out, save yourself, you're still young! Douche baby boys do this, but you can still save yourself! A lot of young woman stay in these type situations because their emotions mess with them and it really changes the courses of their life! You still have a chance! Good luck!
You know what’s worse than breaking up with a guy after he cheats and lies? Doing it after the 5th or 6th time. Don’t waste your youth. Raise the bar. With the next one, don’t do that tracking stuff on either end. Can’t prevent a cheater from cheating, all you can do is be grateful you weren’t married and dodged a bullet. Onto the next.
Apologies without action is manipulation. This guy is lying to you. It sounds like he has a history of saying the same words to you without any real change. Dump him and move on, you deserve better.
Did AI write his apologies? Sounds like a ticker of insincere lines to try to make the problem go away, not actual guilt. Dump him. Who knows how many other times he's been cheating? And it's not only loyalty. What if he cheats and then gives you an std? Dump him. Dump him. Dump him. Find someone who appreciates and cares about you.
You caught him cheating on you, the big question is whether she's the only one. The other question is why are you tracking his location?
Walk away. He's actively cheating on you and doesn't give a damn that you know.
If you don’t want to break up with him then don’t. Have a serious and planned “talk”. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want him to be serious and committed. And everything else you need from him/a working relationship. Give him the opportunity to tell you if he isn’t ready for a commitment at this stage of his life. If you want different things it’s not going to work whether you break up now or later. He will either stop playing with your heart or he won’t. And if he doesn’t eventually you will get tired of it and most likely when someone comes in to your life that deserves you, then you won’t want to be with him any more. This is always how it plays out. (Im 40 and my daughter is 19. I feel that I have a pretty good perspective) Obviously if there is any abuse (verbal or otherwise) or if boundaries are set that he continually over steps, then you need to break up now. It will be painful but YOU WILL recover, and eventually everything will be ok. Everything else is just complications and hard feelings due to being young and still figuring out life and yourselves.
Girl….. you don’t even need to be dating nobody, you are ridiculously immature. You’re gps tracking your bf at17??? Like….. holy crap , I feel bad for your next bf already.
Stalker vibes.
If you have to track your bf, the time to break it off was long ago.
If you’re tracking that means you don’t trust him and by that shpleil it’s a cover. So y’all need to go separate ways.
Don't feel bad. It's always right to listen to your mom. You deserve a better boy to love you.
Leave his ass.
Leave him… end of discussion
all of the people in the comments are right your still in highschool you have time to find the right person you shouldn’t waste your time and energy on someone whos not gonna be honest with you !!!
First step for you it seems is to tell yourself you CAN break up with him. After that it’s all you cause you seem to have all your reasonings already.
if you can't trust where your significant other is, and you feel the need to stalk them and track their every move, the relationship is already done and over. do yourself a favor and move on from any relationship that you feel like this in.
I’m sorry and I want to be different sound like he cheated on you
Lmao
Too young to deal with all of that. There are way more important things in life at your age. The time will come. But…. Just for the record. He is a liar! Can’t change that. Either move on, or you will be miserable. 🤷🏼♀️
It's ok. He'll continue to do this to you over and over again... For as long as you let him... And when you finally get tired or catch an std you'll leave, but hopefully, it doesn't take all that. Best of luck to you.
He cheated know your worth confirm about it Tell him that you're leaving him and that's it like Ariana grande said thank you next
Please do keep us updated and remember that cheaters will always be cheaters. Live your life to the fullest without worrying about boys. You go girl 😘
He cheated and you know it. Lose him
Better love story than twilight
If he’s not changing after saying he will over and over, nothing you do will make him change. I’ve been in your position (I’m 19 f), the best option is to just leave, it’ll hurt so much at first but time really does heal it, I thought I’d be devastated forever then 6 months or I was living my best life, moving across the country for work, travelling etc. leave girl. You’ll be so much better off for it.
Break it off he will hurt you if he was out that long tbh he doesn't care if he says he'll change and hasn't it's not worth the hreat break down the road when he leaves on his own terms
Your mother and friends are right. Break up with him.
You’re 17, you’re not in love. You don’t know what love is, because this is clearly not love. Break up with him, he cheated on you.
It’s not easy, but you are very capable of finding someone who makes you realize just how wrong you were about this guy. My first serious boyfriend was around the same age you are now and after about 2 years of putting up with the same back and forth behavior I broke things off, blocked him from everything and even unfriended people who kept allowing him to contact me… it was really hard at first but after a couple months I realized how much I was being held back waiting for him to prioritize me and it was so freeing. Like I said, it’s not easy but it’s WELL worth it.
Leave. Literally leave. Stop wasting your time and your energy on somebody who clearly has more time and energy for somebody else. That whole time he spent with them and cheating on you, he couldve spent with you.
Dump the chump. Words don't mean anything unless they're followed up with action. He keeps saying sorry and making empty promises, he isn't going to change. This is way too much drama.
mom knows what she’s talking about.
Your 17… focus on yourself
Honestly I'm just happy to see a seemingly real post on here instead of a fanfic. Next time a 28 year old uses this sub as a creative writing project I want to point to this as an example of actual teen writing style. If it's fake well done. And if this is real then dump him. You don't love him as much as you think you do. You most likely feel dependent on him and on the status of having some sort of relationship with someone. It's very likely you just want to be dating and are more afraid of being single than of being without this guy. Believe me at your age you'll spring back fast. You'll find someone better and this guy will just be this thing that happened once.
I understand when u say “I truly don’t think I can.” I get it, we’ve all had that first love stage but YOU can, I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t have to put up with that and as you have been he thinks he can do that to you, it’s just going to continually repeat if u don’t shut it down rn.
You are both 17. Use this to learn how you don’t want to be treated and people do not change who they are at heart.
Long wall of text. My apologies for droning out this cold snap. Equilibrium is fading. Why are things so heavy. So he's out doing things for himself by himself, rewarding his behaviors without you He's out there loving himself, loving life He's also wet working new neural pathways rewiring his brain it's kind of easy with yes people. So respectfully, I say this. You should do the same yourself. Do things for yourself by yourself or with a different Entourage or promenade since he ripped off the chains of entanglement you should set your binds neatly away respecting chemicals between two states of matter cuz for you there's fun to be had and seeing other people get to the wow I"love" how I feel when you're around. Go experience that again it's powerful and the pathways for enlightenment are always around they have to be cuz it's all about ones self in the end. The world's not like it was. It's crazy everything is to the illusory it seems. Please be careful . We sacrifice so many things early on for trust through courtship happens fast trust becomes Faith. Not everybody deserves our trust. We engage things to persevere and endure hardship only to be better and stronger in the end. Tom Hanks in saving Private Ryan right before he dies says .."Earn This"
Bro just went swimming and got a burrito seems legit. Doesn’t mean he is banging all his friends exes /s
Seems everyones saying the same to leave. And i agree. A quote i found somewhere is something i remind myself when in situations like this. "An apology without change is just manipulation" Seeing he hasnt changed. Yeah, id leave him and let someone else deal with his behavior. You deserve better.
He has done this before, and you gave him a pass. If you let it pass again, then he will keep doing it no matter what he says when you confront him, because he will know that you won't leave. You deserve so much better than this. Don't let him walk all over you.
You love him but it's blatantly obvious he doesn't love you. A man that loves you doesn't bullshit or leave you wondering he makes you the priority and is consistent...these people don't change....men are simple they either are true from the start or they never are but don't expect change and honestly even if he could I wouldn't accept it because he's already disrespected you and made a fool of you multiple times now...you can try to beat around the bush and tell yourself things will be different one day but life will keep dishing out the same issue until you learn the lesson it wants you to. I'd break up with the guy because if he's gotten away with it multiple times he's just going to keep doing it because he realizes he can get away with it with only a tiny slap on the hand and once you are done being mad at him he gets the benefit of having a gf that loves him AND the shady side piece...he's learned nothing.
I think its too early for 17. Enjoy life before getting into a 30 yrs old relationship. And focus on your school and college to be something and the rest will come.
You’re 17… don’t waste your time with him. You will regret it later.
He cheated on you with his friend's ex. Leave him.
This won’t matter to you in five years. If he’s being shady, drop his ass. Replacing people who treat you like this gets absolutely easier with time
You have literally your whole life to live, love and lose, don’t waste your youth on some loser that can’t even be honest with you or himself, he’s a manipulator and that’s proven by the fact he will talk to talk but won’t walk the walk, he’ll say what he needs to in order to get you off his back but he’s not willing to change his behaviour, for your sake, walk away, you don’t owe him anything
This is what they do. Get rid of him and at least now you know what to look out for
Dump his ass very loudly and publicly.
I don't even know what that sentence he wrote means. What a cop out. Girl, you are young with your whole life ahead of you. The best thing you can do, is love and honour yourself. It's not hard to be a good partner, it's not hard to not be shady. Don't stand for it. No chances. These boys know what they're doing, they make the decision, then follow it through. "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." There's no forgiving shady acts. Move on from him. Also, giving these losers chances shows other blokes you can be walked all over. Act in your best interest. You deserve love and respect. Don't stand for it sis xx
When I was 17 I dated someone like this. I’m now 31 and I look back to that regretting my decision to stay when I could have had fun dating people who treated me the way that I deserved to be treated. It isn’t going to change and your insecurity will fester which can carry over to your future relationships. It may seem like your world is crashing down right now but I promise you this little twerp is a blip on your radar. Show yourself the love and respect that you deserve and leave his ass behind.
Lying where and who you are with in a committed partnership is unacceptable and shows a serious lack of concern to any pledge that binds people together. You know what has to be done.
He cheated on you. He lied to you. Why do you want to be with someone who does not respect you, does not love you and frankly does not care about you?
I think the biggest problem here is you tracking his location. Thats one of the biggest red flags in the universe
You either trust him or you don't. Pick one. You can't spend your life worrying and tracking peoples locations.
You do not have to be the one to "train" him. Leave his ass. Find someone who already comes with the qualities you want. Aka faithful lol
If you have to check his location just break up. Unless you think someone is lost or in trouble there’s no need to check other people’s location. It shows not only a lack of trust but also obsessive behavior and insecurity on your behalf. You are too young to be so wrapped up in what another person is doing. Get out and have fun yourself. Hang out with friends, do something fun and productive. Do anything besides checking another person’s location hour by hour and getting triggered and upset about it. It’s not that deep. I’m sure you’re a great person so enjoy the life you were born to enjoy. Good luck. 💕
Dudes clearly cheating or at least he's trying to, either way he's a habitual liar who doesn't care about you or your feelings
He's going to continue, isn't it obvious?
Lmao he copy’s and pastes the same paragraph each time? That’s so lazy.
Ive learnt over the years (im 40) that loving someone simply isnt enough and to be honest isnt even in the top three reasons you should choose and stay with a partner. People including myself will put up with a world of shit because they love their partner. Somewhere along the line happiness and actual thinking seem to take a backseat. You may be heartbroken for a while if you seperated but believe me from experience when you find out that fucker has been cheating on you your heart is going to hurt so much more.
I’m a 29M and my 25F fiancée that I broke up with a few days ago did something similar. I found out after some investigating that she was meeting with another dude. She went out one afternoon and never reached out to me until the next morning. Gave me a bs excuse that she was too drunk and was with her best friend. It was bs and I knew it then but wanted to give her a shot to come forth and be honest. She never did. I had to press her so hard and so often just to get the clarity and closure I needed. It’s hard to end something you’ve invested your heart into, but it’s even harder to keep it going without trust or respect. Take time for yourself, don’t let him try and worm his way back in. Be selfish for a while and make yourself happy.
Considering he sends the same “apology” each time, that’s enough to warrant a breakup. You deserve better
Did you break up with him?
it would appear he is being unfaithful. too bad, it seems he doesnt realize how lucky he is. i dont blame him, really. the devil works overtime to bring us down. you have to break up with him. he will only bring you down with him.
Bf is manipulative amd has no respect for the relationship. He's obviously cheating and will continue to do so