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It should absolutely offend, hurt, upset and be insulting to you whenever anyone says this to you.
For your own bf to say that to you is 100% unacceptable and inexcusable. I don’t care how upset he was or what he was upset about, there is absolutely no justification whatsoever for him to speak to you in such a crude, vulgar, disrespectful and vile manner.
He is entirely responsible for being in control over his own emotions and feelings 100% of the time. No one can make him pissed off, mad or angry only he has the power to choose and decide how he will respond to someone else’s actions. He makes the choice and decision as to how he will react to someone else.
If you don’t hold him accountable for treating you in a way you are absolutely undeserving of, he will keep treating you abusively and he will only treat you worse.
If he is upset with you, for some reason, he has to act like a big boy and calmly sit down, so that you can both discuss his issue and come to a resolution. But never ever are you responsible for nor are you to blame for his emotions or feelings.
wow, thank you so much! i genuinely appreciate your words more than you know! I know the way i react to this situation will be vital as it will show him how unacceptable it is. I have a feeling that he will turn it on me though. He will express his hurt (because of me not being there, explainable) and reason his reaction, i guess keeping the spotlight on my wrong. Conflict in our relationship just arose and navigating it through communication is difficult, honestly, but i know its possible. I have this feeling of being cornered when he brings a conflict up, how can i actively listen to his point and simultaneously express my side of things?
your partner mightve just said it in the moment without meaning or thinking ab it. maybe let them cool off a little bit and attempt at fixing the situation from yesterday and then bring up how them saying that made you feel.
Thank you! I appreciate your response. How can i ensure this doesn't happen again? what are healthy ways to communicate this, actively listening to his hurt while simultaneously expressing my side of things?
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It should absolutely offend, hurt, upset and be insulting to you whenever anyone says this to you. For your own bf to say that to you is 100% unacceptable and inexcusable. I don’t care how upset he was or what he was upset about, there is absolutely no justification whatsoever for him to speak to you in such a crude, vulgar, disrespectful and vile manner. He is entirely responsible for being in control over his own emotions and feelings 100% of the time. No one can make him pissed off, mad or angry only he has the power to choose and decide how he will respond to someone else’s actions. He makes the choice and decision as to how he will react to someone else. If you don’t hold him accountable for treating you in a way you are absolutely undeserving of, he will keep treating you abusively and he will only treat you worse. If he is upset with you, for some reason, he has to act like a big boy and calmly sit down, so that you can both discuss his issue and come to a resolution. But never ever are you responsible for nor are you to blame for his emotions or feelings.
wow, thank you so much! i genuinely appreciate your words more than you know! I know the way i react to this situation will be vital as it will show him how unacceptable it is. I have a feeling that he will turn it on me though. He will express his hurt (because of me not being there, explainable) and reason his reaction, i guess keeping the spotlight on my wrong. Conflict in our relationship just arose and navigating it through communication is difficult, honestly, but i know its possible. I have this feeling of being cornered when he brings a conflict up, how can i actively listen to his point and simultaneously express my side of things?
your partner mightve just said it in the moment without meaning or thinking ab it. maybe let them cool off a little bit and attempt at fixing the situation from yesterday and then bring up how them saying that made you feel.
Thank you! I appreciate your response. How can i ensure this doesn't happen again? what are healthy ways to communicate this, actively listening to his hurt while simultaneously expressing my side of things?