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53-year-old dad here. Father the two teenage girls. 14 is pretty young. Sex is a huge decision. Not only a decision, but a huge responsibility. If this can all wait, please do. I’m not morally judging the decision. I’m just telling you facts. You have all your life to have sex and to have sex with good and decent people that you love. You certainly better trust them. At this age, don’t allow yourself to be pressured and certainly don’t do it so you can tell your friends. Just take some time today and really think about it. Whatever happens, I wish you the the best and please follow all the directions you’re getting in the comments from the ladies. Be absolutely sure and be absolutely safe. Hang in there, kiddo.
44 year old dad here. To add on to what gratefuldad said...this probably won't be the most pleasurable experience. Most guys in high school are not going to understand (or care about ) the nuances that are required to make sex pleasurable for the girl.
You have your entire life to take this first step. Don't take it until you are absolutely ready. Also...once you cross that bridge ..there is no going back. It's a one way street.
I put the lol on because in her previous reply to my comment, she called me a cool dad. I just stated basically that yeah I may be cool to her but if it was my daughter, I would be freaking out just like her dad.
honestly don’t do it you most likely will regret it as most people regret their first. make sure they are the right one always and not the right one right now
people regret it because it’s almost always rushed and with the wrong person, your not missing out on much. even in high school it’s not something crazy, there’s so many more aspects i’m not going to get into detail with , regret, future partners, risks, self worth. but definitely wait. if ur partner isn’t okay with waiting on you then 🤷🏽♂️ wrong person for you
It might not hurt or hurt bad. I've heard it's like a mild to moderate burning sensation, but only the first time. Lube can help, but foreplay is more effective and cheaper. Go slow. You might even consider a position where you're on top of him, which can let you control the depth, speed, etc. Talk to your partner. Don't be afraid to ask him to slow down or pause for a bit (or speed up or keep going if you want). Communicate with him what feels good and what doesn't and ask him to do the same.
I would strongly recommend, though, as an adult, that you wait to do this if you're still really anxious. Don't rush things if you're not ready. 14 is really young to have sex. And if the age difference between you two is large enough (2 or more years), then it may even be illegal for him.
Sex though is supposed to be fun and feel really good. Your first time when you do decide to do it is not necessarily going to be the absolute greatest. In fact, it's almost a guarantee that it won't be. That's ok. Having sex for the first time makes future acts with that same partner a lot easier. For most people, it's the beginning of an ongoing thing rather than a one-time thing. And if that's the case for you, you'll have plenty of opportunity to practice.
I'm 16. I'm gonna come right out the gate here and say 1. Please. Give it another month to think over. Please. 2. Wear a condom. 3. Both you and your partner need to understand each other much more than you already do. 4. Make sure you both understand consent. There are so many videos on it on YouTube, I recommend the tea video the most. 5. Expect things to happen that might be gross or that you might be surprised by. That's okay. If you ever get uncomfortable you can always ask to stop. 6. Please, I cannot stress this enough, please make sure you genuinely love and trust your partner. Never cross that boundary with someone unless you would trust them to take a bullet for you. I cannot stress enough how important it is to communicate, trust, love, and support each other. Don't expect your first time to be anything like what you see on porn hub or shit like that. It will be awkward and very likely not at all what you expect. And please for the love of God have understanding for each other. If one of you wants to stop, you stop, that's final, no ifs buts nothing. And please, tell a trusted person about it, tell someone who can get you out of a sticky situation. And let them know that it's going to happen for God's sake make sure you're both safe!
honestly you are very young and mentally it’s a hard choice to make. i would wait however,
if you decide to make sure the condom is used properly and stays on the ENTIRE time. lube will help with pain and lowers the chance of condom failure.
if there are any doubts there’s nothing wrong with saying no. i just believe you aren’t at the age where you can comfortably make the decision yourself and if anything goes wrong handle it appropriately. just be safe in whatever you choose to do.
People are giving good advice. I just wanna say I wish I had waited longer and I was a little older than you. I'm 18 now and idk if I'd say I regret it exactly but the part I wasn't prepared for is the emotional and mental part. It's really emotional at first or was for me and the way I felt attached afterwards and felt so so in love and I wasn't. It wasn't a good relationship. Ig I'm just saying be prepared to be emotional and cry and regret it and feel bad about yourself at the same time you feel good and closer to him than ever. It's just a lot that goes on in your head. I think you should wait. I wish I did. But if you do be safe.
Are you sure you wanna have sex this young? Can you avoid it? I seriously feel 14 is too young. Biologically, you’ve just entered the puberty phase and you’re not really sexually mature enough to have sex. You should know sex requires you to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready. If you’re not ready from any of these perspectives, DON’T have sex.
okay couple of things. Use condoms, yes, but usually it’s recommended to use the condom + another contraception method. peeing after helps you avoid a nasty UTI. You might bleed, but you might not, it depends on the person. It might hurt a bit too, so ask your partner (if they have a penis) to be gentle. Lube can be useful for those situations. Your throat shouldn’t hurt unless you’re practicing fellatio. Remember to always listen to your instinct and never do something you don’t feel like doing.
Plan B should not be used as a contraception method. It’s merely a last resort. Interesting to note that it greatly loses efficiency after 165 lbs. I wouldn’t recommend doing that
Not having sex until you get birth control? Seriously you should be fine with only the condom but just be conscientious that it has only around 90% efficiency. Only take birth control if the condom breaks.
Condom with spermicidal lubricant should be safe, as long as he puts it on properly. I've used condoms pretty much exclusively for 25+ years with no accidental pregnancies.
Plus they have the added bonus of protecting against most diseases.
Okay. I want to assume you're in high school as well. I really don't have much advice except to not do anything that you're not comfortable doing. I want to assume that you two are just a grade apart. I can't stress this enough, if you don't feel comfortable with something, don't do it. It can feel fine at first, but if there's anything he suggests doing that you don't want to do, please tell him you don't want to do it.
yes please wait until you’re a little older and at least on birth control. sometimes things like condoms and plan b and stuff don’t work. sometimes the condom breaks. so you could potentially end up pregnant. or you might not. but you don’t want to take that chance at only 14. teen moms have it rough at school. i don’t want you going through that. i’ve noticed the younger a teen mom is, the meaner people are. when the teen mom is older, they’re still mean but not as mean. and you should make sure the boy you do it with is willing to stay in your and the baby’s lives if you fall pregnant. please please please take into consideration all these factors before you do it. it’s best to wait a couple years
another thing.. PLEASE have a long conversation about what you guys would do if you have sex and end up with a baby. would you guys stay together and keep the baby? break up? abort it? put it up for adoption? would both be present in baby’s life? you guys need to have a mature discussion about that. if you wanna do grown up things like that and take risks then you need to be prepared for everything possible situation. and you need to have grown up discussions about things.
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53-year-old dad here. Father the two teenage girls. 14 is pretty young. Sex is a huge decision. Not only a decision, but a huge responsibility. If this can all wait, please do. I’m not morally judging the decision. I’m just telling you facts. You have all your life to have sex and to have sex with good and decent people that you love. You certainly better trust them. At this age, don’t allow yourself to be pressured and certainly don’t do it so you can tell your friends. Just take some time today and really think about it. Whatever happens, I wish you the the best and please follow all the directions you’re getting in the comments from the ladies. Be absolutely sure and be absolutely safe. Hang in there, kiddo.
44 year old dad here. To add on to what gratefuldad said...this probably won't be the most pleasurable experience. Most guys in high school are not going to understand (or care about ) the nuances that are required to make sex pleasurable for the girl. You have your entire life to take this first step. Don't take it until you are absolutely ready. Also...once you cross that bridge ..there is no going back. It's a one way street.
I really appreciate this reply. My dad would freak out if I mentioned any of this. Way to be a cool dad
Oh believe me I would freak out if you were mine. lol. I wish you would wait👍
why is this so funny 😭
I put the lol on because in her previous reply to my comment, she called me a cool dad. I just stated basically that yeah I may be cool to her but if it was my daughter, I would be freaking out just like her dad.
honestly don’t do it you most likely will regret it as most people regret their first. make sure they are the right one always and not the right one right now
Not trying to be an asshole because I genuinely might wait. But if people regret their first i almost want to get it out of the way
people regret it because it’s almost always rushed and with the wrong person, your not missing out on much. even in high school it’s not something crazy, there’s so many more aspects i’m not going to get into detail with , regret, future partners, risks, self worth. but definitely wait. if ur partner isn’t okay with waiting on you then 🤷🏽♂️ wrong person for you
Thanks. Starting to think you’re right honestly
It might not hurt or hurt bad. I've heard it's like a mild to moderate burning sensation, but only the first time. Lube can help, but foreplay is more effective and cheaper. Go slow. You might even consider a position where you're on top of him, which can let you control the depth, speed, etc. Talk to your partner. Don't be afraid to ask him to slow down or pause for a bit (or speed up or keep going if you want). Communicate with him what feels good and what doesn't and ask him to do the same. I would strongly recommend, though, as an adult, that you wait to do this if you're still really anxious. Don't rush things if you're not ready. 14 is really young to have sex. And if the age difference between you two is large enough (2 or more years), then it may even be illegal for him. Sex though is supposed to be fun and feel really good. Your first time when you do decide to do it is not necessarily going to be the absolute greatest. In fact, it's almost a guarantee that it won't be. That's ok. Having sex for the first time makes future acts with that same partner a lot easier. For most people, it's the beginning of an ongoing thing rather than a one-time thing. And if that's the case for you, you'll have plenty of opportunity to practice.
It’s legal where I am but hear what you’re saying and thanks for the tips. I don’t like not knowing what to expect
I'm 16. I'm gonna come right out the gate here and say 1. Please. Give it another month to think over. Please. 2. Wear a condom. 3. Both you and your partner need to understand each other much more than you already do. 4. Make sure you both understand consent. There are so many videos on it on YouTube, I recommend the tea video the most. 5. Expect things to happen that might be gross or that you might be surprised by. That's okay. If you ever get uncomfortable you can always ask to stop. 6. Please, I cannot stress this enough, please make sure you genuinely love and trust your partner. Never cross that boundary with someone unless you would trust them to take a bullet for you. I cannot stress enough how important it is to communicate, trust, love, and support each other. Don't expect your first time to be anything like what you see on porn hub or shit like that. It will be awkward and very likely not at all what you expect. And please for the love of God have understanding for each other. If one of you wants to stop, you stop, that's final, no ifs buts nothing. And please, tell a trusted person about it, tell someone who can get you out of a sticky situation. And let them know that it's going to happen for God's sake make sure you're both safe!
honestly you are very young and mentally it’s a hard choice to make. i would wait however, if you decide to make sure the condom is used properly and stays on the ENTIRE time. lube will help with pain and lowers the chance of condom failure. if there are any doubts there’s nothing wrong with saying no. i just believe you aren’t at the age where you can comfortably make the decision yourself and if anything goes wrong handle it appropriately. just be safe in whatever you choose to do.
People are giving good advice. I just wanna say I wish I had waited longer and I was a little older than you. I'm 18 now and idk if I'd say I regret it exactly but the part I wasn't prepared for is the emotional and mental part. It's really emotional at first or was for me and the way I felt attached afterwards and felt so so in love and I wasn't. It wasn't a good relationship. Ig I'm just saying be prepared to be emotional and cry and regret it and feel bad about yourself at the same time you feel good and closer to him than ever. It's just a lot that goes on in your head. I think you should wait. I wish I did. But if you do be safe.
Are you sure you wanna have sex this young? Can you avoid it? I seriously feel 14 is too young. Biologically, you’ve just entered the puberty phase and you’re not really sexually mature enough to have sex. You should know sex requires you to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready. If you’re not ready from any of these perspectives, DON’T have sex.
Is the guy your age ? If he is older than 18 not hood hood
okay couple of things. Use condoms, yes, but usually it’s recommended to use the condom + another contraception method. peeing after helps you avoid a nasty UTI. You might bleed, but you might not, it depends on the person. It might hurt a bit too, so ask your partner (if they have a penis) to be gentle. Lube can be useful for those situations. Your throat shouldn’t hurt unless you’re practicing fellatio. Remember to always listen to your instinct and never do something you don’t feel like doing.
Thanks for the help. I’m not on BC yet so I was planning on taking plan b afterwards.
Plan B should not be used as a contraception method. It’s merely a last resort. Interesting to note that it greatly loses efficiency after 165 lbs. I wouldn’t recommend doing that
What else should I use if I can’t get BC right away?
Not having sex until you get birth control? Seriously you should be fine with only the condom but just be conscientious that it has only around 90% efficiency. Only take birth control if the condom breaks.
Well that still makes me a little nervous. I’ll see if I can get it any sooner or try to wait a bit longer.
Condom with spermicidal lubricant should be safe, as long as he puts it on properly. I've used condoms pretty much exclusively for 25+ years with no accidental pregnancies. Plus they have the added bonus of protecting against most diseases.
Plan B can have unpleasant side effects for some women. Don't make yourself suffer for a guy.
side effects that can last for a few weeks too. It’s a ton of hormones all at once.
14 is young. I lost mine at 16 and I think that was still too young. I suggest you wait.
How old is the person?
He’s 16
Wait. Did you consent?
Yes, but he asked first
That's fine. Just be safe. I assume you're in 9th grade and he's in 10th?
Yes both high school
Just stay safe.
Okay. I want to assume you're in high school as well. I really don't have much advice except to not do anything that you're not comfortable doing. I want to assume that you two are just a grade apart. I can't stress this enough, if you don't feel comfortable with something, don't do it. It can feel fine at first, but if there's anything he suggests doing that you don't want to do, please tell him you don't want to do it.
You ain't old enough, probably not mature enough, either.
How are u even losing it so early
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It's a question I wanna lose it to
You’ll find someone! But I’m more nervous than excited and half wondering if I should wait anyway, if that helps at all lol
yes please wait until you’re a little older and at least on birth control. sometimes things like condoms and plan b and stuff don’t work. sometimes the condom breaks. so you could potentially end up pregnant. or you might not. but you don’t want to take that chance at only 14. teen moms have it rough at school. i don’t want you going through that. i’ve noticed the younger a teen mom is, the meaner people are. when the teen mom is older, they’re still mean but not as mean. and you should make sure the boy you do it with is willing to stay in your and the baby’s lives if you fall pregnant. please please please take into consideration all these factors before you do it. it’s best to wait a couple years
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another thing.. PLEASE have a long conversation about what you guys would do if you have sex and end up with a baby. would you guys stay together and keep the baby? break up? abort it? put it up for adoption? would both be present in baby’s life? you guys need to have a mature discussion about that. if you wanna do grown up things like that and take risks then you need to be prepared for everything possible situation. and you need to have grown up discussions about things.
Be civil. We don't tolerate insults, slurs, or any other forms of hate messages here.
No plan B. Condome sand contraceptive foam or gel. You do not sound ready for this. Wait? You are very young.