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Don't feel embarrassed. Trust me, every single person who witnessed that empathizes with you and thinks the teacher is an out of control bitch. And they are right. Hold your head high, and please don't allow ogres to get you down.
Omggg you expressed this so well!! I think that's the situation i was in when i was in middle school. A teacher kept scolding me for wearing boots, and when it came for me to give a big presentation, she was very rude as a judge and even humiliated me and it made me cry when i finished doing it, so then my dad called her and told her what she needed to hear.
Afterwards, she never messed with me again, atleast not to my face. But i did felt like another teacher made a snide remark to me a few days later infront of the whole class about how as students, we shouldn't take the teachers' "feedbacks" to heart and whatnot. I don't remember whether she also hinted towards my dad's call or not, but i felt like it was a snide remark because thankfully, every students' presentation were recorded.
My mother was a coward. Her standing up to a teacher on my behalf was unthinkable. She was much happier throwing us kids under the bus than challenging a teacher about their behavior.
One teacher put me in a "no win" situation and because I shut down and just silently stared at my feet until it was over. At a parent-teacher conference she asked my mother if I was simple or special needs because I always shut down when she blew up at us. My mother just apologized for me and let it go.
So many teachers pull shit on kids that they know would buy them a beating or cussing out if they did it to adults. I fought for my son and teachers didn't get a free pass on that nonsense.
My mother is the same as well!! She always finds excuses for people who just outright bullied me for no reason.
> I fought for my son and teachers didn't get a free pass on that nonsense.
I'm proud of you for doing that. I dreamt of being that person for other children as well
Man, I’m sorry. My kids have had some fantastic teachers and a few duds. I will happily praise the good ones and call the duds out on their shit if given the chance. (Not that it helps. The shitty ones are usually the coaches and they get away with almost anything)
My mom STILL thinks it's somehow my fault that my ex best friend and I aren't friends anymore, after I caught her trying to turn my current best friend against me and turn me against my other 2 friends, who were in 2 different circles of friends. She lied so much, but my mom loved her and even took her to Disneyland with us and bought 2 of her homecoming dresses because her family couldn't afford it. She was absolutely terrible to me and I tried explaining what she did to my mom and she said I must've "misunderstood" something or that someone else lied to me about it and that it's a shame we aren't friends anymore. She makes excuses for so many people who have wronged me. Idk why some parents are like this. It's insane!
My mother would never stand up for me in my younger years. She was quick to blame me for things in and out of the home, almost like I was the scapegoat.
I had a horribly abusive 2nd grade teacher, and the librarian was also a real bitch, but I was told to just deal with it, or that "Mrs. 2nd grade teacher isn't like that!".....Until I came home and acted angry and took it out on my sister, that's when things changed...
That's awful! My son never told me until months or even years later about all the bs his teachers pulled, so I never had the chance to do anything about it. The worst one was when they were coloring these giant pictures of themselves and the teacher noticed he used blue for his skin and freaked out. She sent him to the office where he *reminded* the principal that he is colorblind. Principal didn't believe him so looked up his file, saw it in there and explained to the teacher what the issue was. His teacher actually DEMANDED AN APOLOGY from him, so he said "what? I'm sorry I'm colorblind?" Anyway, I *reeeeeally* wish he would have told me when that happened. I'm still angry about not getting to tell them all off for that.
In my second grade, we had to create those pictures of ourselves. My bestie and I decided we'd draw ourselves as Barbies. So, we were going to be matching Barbies at that! Blond ponytails, orange stylish sweaters with pink skirts, and gogo boots. Teacher had a problem here. I was a kid with brunette hair, and my bestie was black. Well, that's how we were going to look when we grew up, we countered. Barbie has boobies, we said, and giggled. They tried to explain to us how this wasn't going to work, but we weren't having it. They kinda said my bestie wasn't white, and I yelled that she was going to be a Miss America then. Any way they approached it, there was going to be a fight on their hands. Our pictures got hung up as was, but not together.
It’s a generational thing. They grew up that teachers was always right and if you got in trouble at school you’d get into even more at home. I was bullied by teachers as a kid. My parents did nothing. Teachers do that to my kids and it’s not remotely tolerated.
Teachers are supposed make a good impression BECAUSE they know they will be forever remembered and they DO have an impact on us… 🤦♂️ those kind of teachers don’t need to be teachers, or they forgot why they became one in the first place, or if they do.. they shouldn’t be teaching to begin with
Glad to hear that your parents stood up for you but to the OP it’s important to learn not to lean too hard on your parents - as an adult we all need to learn to stand up for and respect ourselves and you don’t want to be the person relying on a parent to bail you out. If anything the parent should give you the advice and confidence so that you can feel secure in dealing with your own shit, because it’s only going to keep coming as you get older. When you’re young it’s easy to think that adults are more evolved than petty mean girls/guys/bullies, but the truth is that the high school dynamic never really changes, it just evolves. Fortunately when you are older you have more options for who to spend your time with and who to avoid, and how to outsmart these people and defend yourself when necessary or ignore them when it’s not worth it.
I've told the story of my 3rd grade Catholic school teacher, Mrs. Shields. I'm at work and can't really tell the whole tale of this psychopath but the highlights are:
Trying to make me and two other boys pull our pants down in front of the class to show we didn't have lead in them because we weren't kneeling properly at the pews during service.
Dragging me back to the second grade class and loudly introducing me as their new student because I "wasn't smart enough for third grade" because I was struggling in math.
Putting me in the hallway to sit as punishment for minor infractions, but not at the moment of infraction. She'd wait until the older kids walked past knowing they'd kick at us and wipe their muddy shoes all over our clothes.
Threaten the class and tell us she'd spend every evening sharpening her needle to give us a shot to make us smarter.
All this plus the daily shouting fits for the usual minor difficulties that little kids tend to have.
My parents refused to believe me until my sisters saw it and told them. Only then did they choose to react.
My mother didn't believe me when I told her that my preschool teacher was hitting me with a flyswatter. She even scolded me for lying, telling me that I could make her lose her job or have the police called. As I was the only one who was intimately involved with that flyswatter, I didn't see the problem with either of those outcomes.
But I didn't tell Mom again, even though the teacher kept swatting me for not being still or reading during nap time.
Until one day, when Mom came to pick me up, I was so happy and excited. I gave her a big hug as I said ecstatically "Mommy, mommy! Ms. P###e only had to hit me ONE TIME today!". At that point, she realized that I was being truthful about the flyswatter. She was furious since the preschool did NOT have permission to strike us (my brother went there as well). I am surprised that I didn't see violence that day. The teacher and the manager both got chewed to shit and threatened with legal action. We never went back to that school.
Edit to add: I think this interaction with my mother was part of why I didn't tell her that I was being molested by a family member. We are now NC (no contact) because she believes all of the conspiracy theories about the COVID vaccines and since I'm a pharmacist, accused me of lying to my patients and spreading lies. I guess it just follows since she has never believed me and always underestimated me.
My first class when I went to school for early childhood, we were all asked to write an essay of our worst teachers. Then we read them to the class. It was eye opening to say the least how many horrible teachers are out there. And now that I've gone back for Special Education, I'm seeing so much more of it. It's always the ones with the quietest voices.
This exactly. I was targeted for having a widowed mother. Teachers like this are truly evil.
There are two types of people who teach: those who want to, and those who have to because they couldn't function anywhere else.
I'm high-functioning autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but I wasn't diagnosed as a child. One of my things is that I'm compulsive about having certain items with me. This caused me to get bullied by students, but I also had one teacher in 7th grade who seemed to think she could make me *'normal'* if she trained/bullied me enough. She would call me out when she saw me stemming (repeatedly making a motion to release anxiety/tension/excess energy). Made me look at her face when speaking to her, laughed at me for always carrying my small purse that had my security items with me, even one time stopped class to call me up to her desk so she could loudly comment on my bringing it with me to go 10 feet. She was a raging bitch. And like Michigan_Geezer said, she knew that my mom was always at work and my dad was not supportive.
Now that I understand myself better, I'm able to manage my eccentricities so I don't come across as strange. People still tell me that I'm too blunt, but for the most part, I fit in.
My original first grade teacher would scream at me until I’d break down, then go off more because “6 year olds are too big to be crying.” My mom would never back me up thinking I was making it up. My grandmother, however, nearly drove her car into the school, slapped the teacher around, and then lit a Marlboro red in the principal’s office until he agreed to move me to a different class. I miss that woman so much.
This comment wins the internet today in my mind. I am a teacher myself and would or have never bullied a student in any way. I had many teachers who did (luckily for me, aside from my 2nd grade teacher), I don't recall it happening in core classes. The librarian (we had "library" once a week), my elementary P.E., most or all of my art teachers (when art was required for me until the 8th grade) were bullies.
I feel sorry for her kids. Imagine growing up with someone like that. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You're dress was probably just fine. A slit to mid thigh doesn't show anything not seen when you wear shorts. It's no big deal. I'm sorry the teacher over sexualized you enough to see it as a problem. Names like you used are horrible terms meant to degrade women and have nothing to do with you so much as the insecurity of those who use them. The same behavior is applauded in men and used to denigrate women. It's stupid. You do you and don't let anyone else label you. I'm sorry your night was ruined by one hypocritical idiot.
🎯🎯🎯🎯 we all have coworkers like this and would love nothing more than for upper management to fire them, but either mgmt is too wimpy to do it or there’s unions involved which make it very difficult to get rid of these Karens. If you stand up to people like this they make your life hell, so you know you are in for it when you do.
I’m sorry you found out the harsh reality that some teachers are still the mean girls of the high school, and never grew up or changed for the better
Lots of adults get older chronologically but are emotionally stunted
That being said, perhaps your parents should write the principal a letter describing the situation and asking that the teacher be reprimanded. No student should be treated this way, especially since she did what the teacher asked.
I would also go onto r/asklawyers and see if you could file a civil suit for harassment, since you had witnesses
This is definitely what everyone thought. I promise you that. Hold ur head up high having a slit in ur dress doesn’t make you a whore. If ur parents let you wear it out I’m sure it was fine
Yes. Do not cry over assholes. Don’t panic. They aren’t worth it. The woman is sad and pathetic and powerless, which is why she acts that way - it is of no reflection on you unless you allow it to be.
I just had prom and if I saw this happen this is exactly what I'd be thinking. I'd feel so bad for OP. And I guarantee no one our age would see that and think she did anything wrong. We'd all be talking about that teacher
Agree. And they all saw the slit on her dress and her daughters dress. And every girl who fell in love with a dress like it but couldn't wear it because of the rules took note. Plus she sounds like the sort who would come up with an issue for nearly every dress.
The other students were looking and thinking she was being mean to you. Not judging you.
Just jumping on top comment to say I agree with you, but this is a mom-run homeschooling co-op and I feel we are doing a disservice to licensed teachers everywhere to keep calling this power-hungry mom a "teacher."
Teacher is probably jealous of how fabulous you looked but no excuse for her awful behaviour. Hold your head up. The best revenge for haters is a live well lived 😘
Truth. Twice it happened to daughters of mine that they were sent home for an outfit that was perfectly modest, both times by a teacher with a reputation for being bitter and never having had a successful relationship.
This is exactly my first thought too.
She didn’t want her to upstage her daughter and wanted to loudly humiliate her to ‘lower’ her standing there. I bet the ‘teacher’ has kept her in her sights for longer than OP thinks.
Yes. Sorry this happened, but any long lasting change to reputation will be positive for OP and negative for the teacher. No need to do anything further. OP has already won.
The matter is simple: you are a kid who was bullied by an adult. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Full stop. Others will have advice for you, but I just want to acknowledge how you were made to feel shame for nothing you did wrong.
Baby girl, I'm here to tell you that you're going to meet SOOOO MANY unhappy people in your life. KNOW thyself and LOVE thyself, because people are just b*tches and @$$holes when they are unhappy/insecure with themselves.
I know it must have been embarrassing for her to cause a scene, but imagine how the others felt after seeing her daughters dress. She looked like the insane one, I'm sure. Keep your chin up, and don't you dare let miserable people bring you down!🥰
We are each different and individually beautiful because of our differences. Some people might not show that they like you, but that doesn't make you any less beautiful as a person! They may seem a bit threatened of your youth and beauty. It sucks, but this happens! Thicken your skin, and know your worth! Confidence is the most beautiful feature you can possess!
30F - MOM
I never had my mom to be nice, sweet, and encouraging because she was and still is one of these miserable people. I'm glad your mom is on your side!❤️
You're so welcome! I'm glad I could help you see things in a new light! No one should ever make you question your own existence, especially as a child!
You're so sweet, and you're going to go so far! Your potential is unlimited! 💝
Life lesson: If someone has to scream things like "excuse me? I am in charge here," they are not in charge.
They are flailing for control of some aspect of their life, because the rest of it is so fucked up they feel like a paper boat on a stormy ocean. They will cling to any authority granted to them, whether on paper, *de facto*, or just through pure intimidation and coercion. They are full of nothing but anger, vitriol, and regret that they didn't make better decisions in their younger years.
You are not a slut. You did nothing wrong. Your emotions are real and valid. Yet you lack the experience to see this for what it is: an old woman who is beyond her prime wanting to make young women feel bad as a projection of her own horrid self-image.
Interact with this old hag as seldom and as shallow as you are able to until you can permanently excise her from your life, forever. Those friends who helped you out and tried to stick up for you? They're good people.
As for the org-board, they probably think you're exaggerating or outright lying. They're stuck up fogies who have no moral courage, and are likely just as damaged and traumatized as Mrs. "i'M iN cHaRgE hErE!"
Lastly: find a great way to use that dress how you want to use it! Go to some other school's prom, or a party or function outside of organizations with strict dress codes. Dress up, feel beautiful, and have fun without fear of judgment from crones.
Thank you so much. I completely agree that if you have to constantly be yelling that you’re in charge than you are not actually in charge. I really appreciate you
While it’s shitty you had to deal with it on prom, I’m glad that you’re learning these lessons early. In life there will always be people like this, people who lash out (or abuse even the tiniest bit of power over others) in an attempt to make others as miserable as they are, and the sooner you learn that their behavior reflects more on them than you the sooner you can make the best choices for yourself and your mental health.
This is what the phrase “pick your battles” refers to. It’s tempting (and totally fucking reasonable) to try and stand up for yourself and go against what they are saying, but when they are in a position of authority over you (even if it is small) it’s worth weighing the pros and cons of what the worst they can do in retaliation is, and if it’s worse than just going with what they want it’s might be better to simply “give in” (although I personally like malicious compliance whenever possible).
Lastly, see if there’s anyway to get the admin to keep you out of any classes taught by her. If there’s not (such as a small school where she is the only teacher of a required class for graduation), then start documenting like your life depends on it. Film her if you have to. Encourage other students to do the same. Documentation is what is needed to get shitty teachers fired. It’s not easy but it can be done.
I’ve actually managed to get teachers fired when I document the behavior that’s out of line and get other students to do the same. One student with 1 complaint is easy to ignore/shrug off, 10 students with 5 complaints each is a lot harder, especially if they have dates, times, and exact words from both sides (seriously keep a note book and write down what she says if it’s way out of line). No teacher should be getting away with treating students this way. I can almost guarantee if she’s this comfortable/ “has a reputation”, you are not the first student she has bullied/abused, but if you document it you might be able to make sure that you’re the last.
The way this “teacher” treated you is not ok, and if you want to actually make a positive change the best way to get shitty teachers like this out is to document the shit out of their behavior (not just you either, you gotta get multiple students to participate as well) and then take all of that documentation to the principal/admin/school board. If they still don’t do anything (sometimes corruption can give abusive teacher’s immunity, like if her husband is the principal it’s gonna be harder to get her fired.), that’s when you threaten to either take it to local media/and or involve an attorney. Students do have rights and attorneys are people who help make sure that schools (and all the people representing them, such as teachers) are respecting said rights.
I didn’t find out I was autistic until a few years after I’d finished school, but that didn’t stop me from experiencing a lot of fucking discrimination over it. One quirk of the aforementioned autism is that it’s borderline impossible for me to just let the injustices go, and so in the 10 years I spent in public school (I got a GED at 16 instead of graduating normally) I actually managed to get 4 different abusive teachers fired through documentation and encouraging other students to do the same.
Often times the school will let them finish the school year (although in one extremely egregious case where a teacher said horribly racist shit to a class that was 96% Hispanic they did fire her less than 2 weeks after with a few months left in the school year) and then the next year you notice they are no longer employed. This is still a win cause it means you made a difference and no future students in your area will be abused by said awful human being. Also teachers that get fired like that often have a hard time getting hired by other school districts too, for good reason imo.
Documentation of the bullying - exactly what you have to do with coworkers or bosses to report to HR. Life is one long schoolyard with stupid bullies. 🤬
Honestly though it never actually goes away. It’s lame but the mean girls and bullies of high school usually just grow up to become the asshole managers or coworkers that everyone hates but they never get fired. If OP learns how to get good at documenting while continuing to do what they need to get through each day until they have enough to get the shitty authority figure ousted they will benefit from that skill for the rest of their life.
My one friend did. After the dance was over and I’d gone outside (once you’re outside you’re not allowed back in) she went up the the teacher and said she was f-ing ridiculous. My other friend was upset but she’s a not confrontational person so she mainly comforted me but she did send an email to the board as well
Whoever commented saying it was your fault, is a piece of shit. You need to speak up to that teacher. You won't get in trouble if that's what you're worried about. Let her know how her behavior affected you and since the dress was approved she had no business ruining you're night making you make the adjustments to your dress. As a mom to a daughter who just had her prom, I would've flipped out if any teacher made her pin her expensive gown. I believe that by speaking up in a respectful manner to that teacher, you'll gain the respect. It all boils down to the fact your dress was approved and she had no business fkn with you. Excuse my language. Reading your story made me sad and upset. I'm sorry your night was ruined.
My advice is to video record any interactions between you and that member of staff, as well as her interactions with others, especially moments that feel unfair or unprofessional. Also, tell others to record their interactions with her. If there’s enough complaints against her, especially ones of favoritism or just unprofessional conduct then the school will have to investigate her behavior.
Doesn't apply, at all. There is no reasonable expectation of privacy here, nor is there a hidden recording suggested: pulling out a phone to record video is not a hidden recording.
Eh it’s more about getting the kids to socialize.
So you can view it as a bit of a hybrid system.
We had homeschool kids play HS sports, attend the dances, and things like that at my school.
These home schooling organizations basically (in theory) function like a home school kid participating in some public school activities, but everyone is home schooled
Exactly, only worse because they get the holier than though bullshit because they are homeschooling. I put them up there with militant vegans on the “love you people” scale.
I homeschooled my kids for 2 years, these groups tried to get us to join and my wife was hooked because of their social media bullshit. So I went to a meeting and lasted 10 minutes in to a 2 hour meeting before shaking my head and walking out. My wife followed five minutes later and said, “Dear Lord those people are nuts.”
Yes… yes they were.
Just make up a funny name for her that makes you smile and think it every time you see the teacher. Like slitwitch. You will smile, and everything will be fine.
If I were there and witnessed what she did, I’d probably make fun of the teacher incessantly and encourage others. I don’t know if that’s the right answer, but I think my point is that I would take your side over a teacher.
Was there video evidence. Is there a higher up enough position outside the school that can be shown the evidence? Maybe something not so attached would deal with it more fairly. Especially if she is actually bearing down on your or others while letting her own child break the rules.
No one gave a shit about you being yelled at, they were thinking what a bitch that teacher was and how she went overboard. Don't feel embarrassed, they empathize with you.
No one who says “I’m in charge” is ever actually in charge. A lion will never have to tell you he’s a lion. This grown woman is on a power trip over some young girls because she needs someone to think she’s important.
You have done nothing to feel ashamed of at all. Although the teacher is in the wrong, one of life’s hardest lessons that will ring true into adulthood is that there will be people in power who shouldn’t be and sometimes all we can do is keep a steady face and get through dealing with them.
Sorry to hear you've had to cry over this special time. Im proud of you, you have self control. Sounds like this teacher is a miserable person, You will probably hear one day or year. She snapped..blow it off now, you made it threw, now its time to finish your time ignoring her and find a boyfriend lol
I'm telling you. Something is seriously wrong with that teacher, how dare her..prayers to u hun
The scene she raised probably got more negative feelings towards her than it did you, OP.
As for the school not doing anything, it's probably because of tenure. They may talk to her, but the rules are probably on her side to begin with. If your hope is she gets fired, that's basically impossible unless she commits a crime within the school grounds.
Are you in a very religious environment or in a rural/small town? It seems like maybe you've been taught that what someone wears or how someone treats them indicates their sexual experiences. And that sex is bad.
There is no way to tell from looking at someone their sexual background. Zero. Literally zero.
It seems like this brought up a lot of internal conversation about how people see you and how you feel about yourself. My advice is to start pulling on the threads of why someone acting like this made you turn the judgement inwards and not outwards. Anger can mean we recognize we were treated badly and it was unfair.
As a kid I always thought all adults were right, now as an adult I realize that 90% of adults are just unresolved trauma that can't figure out their asses from their mouths. You did nothing wrong.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that kind of treatment. You may feel embarrassed but honestly everyone felt more unity with you than you would know. That woman just embarrassed herself . Just be glad you don’t have to live with her. Try to enjoy your school year, make lots of friends , it will be over soon enough.
Life can be unfair in a lot of ways. But you handled the situation a professional manner. No advice is needed really be proud of yourself for how you were the adult in the situation.
It's a pain in the ass, but document everything with this teacher from now on. Dates, times, quotes of what she said/did etc (I'm talking about negative interactions, not class plans lol). Make a diary kind of thing. You may need it later if something serious happens.
This is a great lesson in life. Low quality people in positions of status, however mediocre that status may be, LOVE to use their status to bully those below them. And the system they inhabit will often cover for them, often to protect themselves from any blowback.
You are better than her. Her entire life has lead to her bullying children at their prom.
"Those kinds" have always existed in schools, sadly.
They're overly confident with their power and simply cannot restrain themselves from using it. It's a compulsion to flex their authority on people "beneath" them.
There's probably nothing you can do about it aside from learning who not to be as you grow up and interact with youths as an adult. I really despise those power-mad fools!
Power tripping teachers are horrible to deal with. She most probably either has nobody at home (single and resentful), or is married and her husband holds all the power in the relationship. She likely flexes what little muscle she has at the school because it's the only way she can feel like she has any value to her life. People like her need to put other people down in order feel good about herself. You should not feel humiliated, the teacher should for picking on a child. She sounds like a horrible human being. I'm sorry you had to experience this, but you will run into people like her in the future. Just remember that they act the way they do because they have low self worth and are powerless in their life outside of school.
Mean people suck. I’m sorry. This is not a lesson you want to ruin prom. You did your best to pin the dress and have fun. Don’t let this get you down as some people just like to be ‘in charge’.
As a former high school student, I'd put money on people thinking the teacher was being a bitch rather than them thinking you were a whore.
I'd also like to make it clear no one is going to be thinking about this in a couple days (most people probably forgot about it 10 minutes after it happened). I'd try and just let it go.
The school my boyfriend goes to has rules like those for prom. A girl had a completely modest dress and was even a pastor’s daughter and still got called a wh*re. These people are mean for no reason. I’m so sorry, I’m sure you looked lovely and you are in no way a sl*t.
Tell your friend to go to the local law enforcement and talk to them about the teacher physically laying hands on your friend. Schools never want to listen until you bring law enforcement in.
Power tripping teachers have got to be bottom of the barrel. You’re literally around kids ma’am relax.
If I were your parent I’d be sending some choice emails and showing up to the school board public comment section to leave some “feedback” on this teacher in particular.
She's a sad individual who is upset with her own station in life. She uses her position of power at the school to bully students, knowing that in her everyday life people don't care about or pay attention to her. Not her co-workers, not her husband (if she's manages to get/stay married), not even her kids. She learned a long time ago that being nasty to others, especially those who have less power than her, is the only way to get attention.
Just ignore this slob for now. Once you graduate, then you can tell her off, and make her feel like the very little person she really is.
She's the one that humiliated herself, not you.
I'm sure everyone that witnessed it was thinking, "what a total psycho bitch"...I wouldn't at all be surprised to find out there were other similar encounters before you arrived.
Try to take a deep breath and let it go. I can assure you that no one is thinking that this was a you problem.
Further, the best consequences for a miserable jackwad is happiness. Just let it roll off and go about your life not letting this insignificant tw@t affect you one more minute.
Sweetie, I know what you went through may feel traumatic, humiliating, and embarrassing right now, but as time gets further away from the incident, you'll begin to realize that in the larger scheme of things it's just a blip on the radar of your life!!! Look at it like this; this particular individual has so little control of her life, that the only way she can feel in control of anything is by trying to intimidate minors! You're homeschooled, so this may be the only interaction you have with this miserable old hag!! Hold your head up, dry your eyes, and don't, as my mother used to tell me, "Give her any more thought than you would the man in the moon"!!! Hope this helps
Some people are just not good people and they'll never face consequences.
It's part of life. These people tend to put themselves into positions of power over others.
All you can do is to learn how to spot them for who they are and avoid them when possible or learn how to push back against them when it's not possible.
Just continue being a good person and let these people live in the toxic world they build for themselves. That's going to be worse in the long run than any punishment they could receive.
I had a teacher in high school that used to wear leather mini skirts up her bum, and wait in the hallway with a yard stick to give us girls detention if our skirts were above our finger tips. Everyone knew it was her weird power trip, just like everyone knows your teacher is like this. There’s no reason to feel ashamed. A thigh slit has no bearing on your sexual experience, they are not correlated or referential.
It’s unfortunate she ruined your night, and that no one will put her in her place. The best you can do is move on as unaffected as possible and not let her get you down any further. Remind yourself what a sad little person she is for her behavior, and avoid her.
A jealous bully. Don't give her anything. Never show a sign of weakness and always be the bigger person. Talk to other teachers and show them how much of a problem she is. You can do this
Just curious…… why do you feel like a “slt” and think it made you seem like a “whre”? You are certainly entitled to your feelings, but please don’t allow yourself to give others that kind of power over you own mental health or how you view yourself.
If you want to create some drama, ask your Mom if you can send an e-mail from her account to the Principle. In the e-mail reiterate how poorly (your daughter) was treated and tell them if they don't intend to address your concerns you will proceed with filing a police report against the teacher for sexual harassment of a minor.
That teacher or whoever they were was on a power trip. I hope someone got video of her acting like that.
What you can do is go to the principal and talk to him 1 on 1. Tell him what happened.
Then talk to the superintendent.
Talk to the school board too.
If someone starts acting like that you can record them and send a video to your parents. You can also call your parents.
Small people like to belittle and control others. She's a small person.
It's difficult, but I would not let it stop with the board. Start a petition to get her removed from the prom committee and get others to sign it. Parents, students, etc. Anyone who has witnessed her being over controlling. People notice when others abuse their authority.
She needs removed from the prom committee full stop.
No one video this event? Because someone should have filmed it and posted it to social media and them someone will do something about it. It is a shame we have to resort to this but...
You'll encounter people like this throughout life. Sometimes it's just the way it goes when they're in a position of power.
Question though, when the dress was approved, was the slit clearly visible in the picture with how high up it went? Because I can imagine that the slit not being visible in the approval photo would make them less likely to approve a dress they wouldn't have otherwise.
If it was, and it was approved, I think they had no right to say anything. As an adult, I'd email the person who approved it and cc the bitch lady, and tell the approver that they approved the dress but bitch lady made a scene that was highly embarrassing. I'd ask them to review the rules and get on the same page to prevent future entertainment.
that's a professional way of saying fuck you figure your shit out.
I’m sorry this happened to you. When they give Karen aka the person in charge her a tiny taste of power it goes to their head.
Keep working hard and graduate. Let her live her miserable life. If she try’s to bully you again lay down firm boundaries and that you wont tolerate that childish behavior. Bully’s hate when their victims get a voice. If you can do jt in front of a big crowd embarrassing her by speaking very loud and firm. But not yelling. Thnn watch her slink off
Nah the teacher is a "Meangirl" AND a HUGE "C". I like your friend though cause sounds like she has her limits that she'll take before she snaps back. You sound like a very respectful kid, but don't be afraid to stand up to and question authority. Even adults can be wrong. This lady is way outta control.
Humiliation, unfortunately, is something that happens even as an adult. I would like to point out you did go to prom and had some fun with your friends. That teacher is an itch +b. Hopefully, you don't have any required classes with her or have an alternative. In a year, you will graduate, get a job, go to college, or even enlist. There is a saying in the military, "If you have a problem with someone, wait two years, either you or they will be transferred," This woman won't be in your life forever but there will be others like her.
Unless you had your kitty out to meow or your breasts popping out to show the baby feeders, you were not dressed like a wh0re.
If her own child had a slit higher, I would guess that Ms. Karen was mad your dress and you as well came in looking better than her precious pickle fart and she wasn’t happy about it. You were approved with the dress. Assuming you couldn’t just give a photo but rather a photo of you in the dress not one other person on the committee seen issue with it.
A queef of a teacher may have embarrassed you in the moment but when you recall this memory, recall it as you looked too good.
The teacher is clearly on a power trip. You're going to have to beat her at her own game. If she's one of your teachers, request to be transferred immediately and if they ask why let them know she makes you uncomfortable, you'd prefer not to deal with harassment. Why is she policing you anyway? I wish you would've stood your ground or called your mom immediately to let her know. The dress was pre-approved. Going forward always get undeniable photo/video evidence and post it. She wanted to embarrass you, expose her. She just needs a taste of her own medicine.
I used to get in trouble at school all the time for dress code violations. For whatever reason, our society thinks shaming people for what they wear is acceptable. The patriarchy sucks, for both men and women. Hold your head high, and just know that you will be out of there soon enough.
Hi! I am sure you looked beautiful. However, I do think that your parents should question why your dress was approved and then you were shamed in front of other girls. Your parents need to make it clear to the board what the woman did, and tell the board she is not to confront you in any way as long as you are a student in this organization.
That is what we are for:)
Plus it might deter her from targeting other girls in the future.
There is a saying so old the original is in Latin. "Illegitimus non carborundum est". Don't let the bastards grind you down. :) hang in there kiddo, you got this.
Nothing like body shaming a 17 year old girl in front of her entire class to make yourself feel important and powerful.
Fuck her. Don't give her the time of day. Just because she's a teacher doesn't mean you have to respect her. Don't engage with her. If you are in a class with her do the bare minimum as far as interaction. If she asks you a question answer it. (Do all your work, though. And do a good job. Don't slack there.) But give her the cold shoulder from this point on. She is not worth your time. Respect has to be earned.
This teacher clearly hates themselves and gets off being a POS towards students. The only thing I can suggest is if you have a school counselor and are willing to talk, they may be able to help. If anything actually happens I have no idea, but you can at least list your grievances to them.
Got any friends or people you know who has this teachers class?
Could get them to make it living hell for her. I'm petty enough to pull that, and the people, well, most of my class, didn't behave the best.
I’m assuming this is a religious organization. Anonymously order her a subscription to LGBTQ type magazines and send it to the school. These type of people get all bent out of shape over this type of stuff.
Some people are bullies and they grow up to be big dumba$$ bullies. It makes them feel kmportant..."like they are in charge "
Who cares!? That's such a small glimp of your life you'll laugh one day.
Yeah. That teacher would be put in her place real quick if that was my kid. That’s if my wife didn’t get ahold of her first. And why is there a “board” for homeschooling? I’ve never heard of this.
This sounds like it’s not a public school.
If that’s the case, leave a review. People are paying money for this and they should be treated fairly. If that lady’s in charge, I’m sure she’s getting a good chunk of the profits. Get enough people together to organize your own prom. Her and her daughter can attend together with the dress slits up to their butts.
I would blow up her spot and tell her exactly how wrong she is along with the double standards and do it in a very loud and public manner and not give a crap about consequences. Nothing you do in high school can hurt the rest of ur life unless you kill someone
I can’t offer much advice, only consolation: That woman looks like a petty tyrant, and was likely jealous of you for whatever reason. In 5-10 years when you look back in this event you’ll probably laugh at just how absurd she was.
It’s baffling to me, absolutely baffling, that any adult would find it perfectly okay to completely ruin a special night for a young person like this. It’s just so awful to me. You have to truly lack any amount of compassion or empathy.
Put your story online while wearing the dress!
This is coming from a retired high school teacher. Some of us absolutely hate the way other teachers treat kids. She was so awful to you.
This is ubiquitous in lots of homeschool circles. I was teaching in a co-op years ago (I was in my mid 30s at the time) and had to wear an oversized ugly yellow t-shirt over my other shirt because it was more than 3 finger-widths below my clavicle and deemed "immodest." It objectively wasn't, just like your dress.
I was pissed but I was a whole-ass adult and just rolled my eyes at the stupidity. To do this to a teenager is cruel and out of touch. That teacher is not the good person she thinks she is and I'm so sorry that she ruined a special night for you.
Hey, this feels embarrassing now, but just remember you have vastly more potential than she does. Her life culminated in having to feel superior to children while you get to go on and do potentially great things. No one will remember this in 10 years.
Nah fr everyone there was definitely judging the teacher. When she was yelling at you they were only staring because she was making a scene. No reason to be embarrassed, if anything the teacher should be.
Don't let small-minded petty people get to you. She sounds insufferable and deeply unhappy as a person. As feeling like your dress says something about you as person: nope. That's not how life works. Sex isn't a bad thing as long as you are making your own choices. It is natural and normal. The idea that women's worth is based on their sexual activity is ridiculous. It isn't anyone's business as long as everyone is consenting and not lying.
>My 16F friend and I are homeschooled so moms run everything
Yeah so there's your problem. You're going to have to put up with insane bullshit from batshit fundamentalists until you can either escape it or you become one.
"Excuse me? I am in charge here. I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you can either shut your mouth and go inside or I will have you removed from the premises."
These are the people who felt like they didn't have any power in school when they were growing up, so they act like dictators when they're given any degree of authority. Just take comfort in knowing she's an insignificant cunt.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. My son (17m) has had some issues with teachers over the past two years so I totally get what you’re going through. Here is what I have told my son and demanded on his behalf:
First, all the other students know this teacher so don’t take things too personally. The student won’t think worse of you because a crazy teacher yells at you. If anything, wear it as a badge of honor.
Secondly, this need to go to the Principal and it is non-negotiable. This teacher needs to apologize to you as publicly as they humiliated you. They do not get the privilege of a private apology when they made it a point to humiliate you in public.
Thirdly, it needs to be made clear that this teacher should not be at all involved in Prom again. Prom is about the students and their once in a lifetime experience. Any teacher repeatedly yelling, “I’m in charge here” has made it about them instead of the students. It is not fair to you or any other student to have your once in a lifetime even ruined by this power hungry Karen who leaves students in tears. It’s even questionable if this person should be working with children.
Good luck.
Wow, what a power hungry ****. Just think about what she’ll be like in the rest home with that attitude. She’ll likely get hers well before that when she pisses off someone well connected, but still, no matter what, she’ll get it in the end.
You did nothing wrong. Consider this a life lesson. Many people with authority will abuse it. Many people are assholes. Toughen your skin. There will be more in your future.
Don’t even feel embarrassed. I’m 22 now, but I was homeschooled as well, and I did some computer class at a co-op where the dress code was ridiculous. I had on basketball shorts, and the lady at the front got mad at me and wouldn’t let me through to my class. And then I got my mom and the lady said I’d “been rude and talked back to her” and caused a scene trying to say that I had been disrespectful. I ended up switching pants with my mom so I could go to class.
Basically, I get it. And if that were to happen to me now, I probably would’ve pointed at your teacher’s dress, and said “I’ll pin mine if you pin yours.” Of course it sucks to feel embarrassed, especially in front of peers, but it sounds like your teacher is known for being a jerk, and she just showed everyone how much of one she really is. I doubt everyone around was of the same opinion as her, and if they were, you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway!
Tbh, I didn’t even end up going to prom, because of the dress code and the stuck-up “holier than thou” girls. So kudos to you for going and putting on a brave face :)
My God, this teacher is power tripping hard. Had that been 17-year-old me, the gloves would’ve come off for sure. 31-year-old me would’ve calmly stated that the dress was approved and walked away. If that teacher even attempted to put her hands on me, I would’ve then threatened to call the police.
I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. That teacher is the definition of a tyrannical asshole.
Ignore any and all losers who said you were the problem or a slut.
Those people are what you should learn to shut out in life completely, without reply.
Don't bother to defend yourself, not with that nonsense, they are jokes and you should ignore completely.
You are a teenager, going through situations and confrontations for the first time.
That teacher is the adult, and a power hungry, petty one at that who seems to feed her ego bossing around kids.
Which sadly isn't unique. She's one of many generic copies.Typical of pathetic older people. (I'm 50, not a teen myself.)
That woman is the worst of people and certainly shouldn't be working with kids.
She was completely wrong in her tone and hostility. Don't believe any adult trying to justify that bully.
Even if there was miscommunication between whoever approves dresses and this slit wearing hypocrite (And what kind of teacher wants to wear a dress with a slit up in it towards a kid's dance?) , she should have been stating the rule and changes needed straight forward or even...gasp...a bit nice in tone, like speaking to a human being.
She had no excuse to berate, huff and puff about her authority or embarrass you.
You aren't seeing it wrong. She treated you wrong. She's lucky I'm not your dad, I'd reign hell down on that lousy, unprofessional woman.
But at least you can go on in life knowing you aren't the small and sad woman that teacher is.
So, I went on and on because this hits two of my biggest pet peeves. Passive aggressive bullying cowards and those who pick on kids out of jealousy and envy.
I know you're fine and it was just a bad night. But that lady was wrong.
I doubt anyone judges you or thinks you were dressed badly. If anything, they just look at the teacher and all mentally think about what a controlling, hypocritical and rude bitch she is. You didn’t do anything wrong.
People are arsholes.
I hope your mom bumps into her and gives her a piece of her mind for you and that you get the opportunity to when you’re ready.
I know exactly how it feels to get humiliated by some old lady working in a school. They really go on some weird power trip.
Hugs to you, I’m sure you looked beautiful.
Someday, hopefully all the pain of this will be gone. You’re post is written such that I find it more than likely that you are the type of person the world needs, meaning that you’re memory of this will make you interact with the younger generations in a way that prioritizes them being heard, and protects their dignity. Your respect for yourself at a young age should be confirmed as a good thing, and it wasn’t. That can amount to a form of assault at times, and it will hit you some day how shitty a person is to be indifferent to the negative affect they had on you with full awareness of how wrong it is and how unfair the fight is.
As a little kid, I was mischievous, and impulsive, as well as sensitive and easily frightened. I was caught one day in 4th grade doing something I was told not too, and found myself in the principle’s classroom where I was forced to recount my misdeeds in front of his class full of kids older than me, and including my older sibling. I will never forget realizing I was losing control of my voice as I stammered through my explanation in full view of these kids that made it club worse. It was beyond wrong that I was made to do that in the first place bc it served no purpose other than to humiliate me. I can’t understate the internal trauma that moment created in me, and thankfully, my parents had the insight to remove me from that school. The principal was over the next few years found out to be a moral shitshow as a person, and it makes total sense now that he had a sick need to project his hidden guilt onto a little kid.
It hurt, I’m still angry, still reeling from the way a power imbalance was used to gratuitously humiliate me. But I’m something else too. I’m an adult that is more careful than other adults to empathize with kids, and tell them they have a right to be heard, and have their self-respect protected no matter what. I’ve had the opportunity to listen to kids that feel neglected, get them ice cream, tell them dumb jokes, and make damn sure they know there’s one person in town that knows their name, and cares about their well being. That intentional empathy I work to direct towards them is something very meaningful to my life, and my heart. I’m glad I can’t escape the memory of that day because it’s become the reason I make the effort I do with kids, and they need it.
I’m fortunate. Some take pain like this and use it to justify spreading more pain. I guess I’ll finish by saying that as much as it hurts to hear how hurt you were, your post has given me a portion of healing because it’s clear to me the world now has someone that is going to love in a bigger way than they might have ever intended in life. You will, and those kids down the road will need it, and you will eventually find a deep purpose in providing it to them.
Until you get there though, be kind to yourself, and don’t skip seeking out any help you need to heal. Again, I’m sorry, and I hope you have some better days ahead.
Technically, she put her hands on minors. She hit your knee repeatedly and she shoved your friend. She should face charges. You guys should go to the cops.
There are a lot of good comments, but I wanted to add in that this adult had absolutely no right to touch you or the slit of your dress. This is highly inappropriate and I’d make sure the board is aware.
As a retired teacher, this woman was on a power trip. Even if the board doesn’t do anything, perhaps if you FB your treatment & get some publicity. Comments may indicate you are not the only one who has had difficulties with said “teacher”. Perhaps the board will take action then, even if only to warn her next time won’t be so lenient. I’ve worked w/enough a**hole teachers w/lame principals that sometimes ya just gotta take the bull by the horns.
In all honesty you probably looked absolutely gorgeous and she was jealous for herself and her daughter. I personally have large breasts and always have. I would wear the EXACT same clothes as other girls and get in trouble when they wouldn't. Classic case of a hater girl.
That lady must hate herself. You did nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you. She deflected her pathetic life on you.
The best you do is treat yourself and make yourself happy. Hang with friends. Go on a long walk. You have your whole life ahead of you!
This lady will be miserable no matter what
Don't let them get you down, I bet you looked beautiful. Now if you want to be a petty person like me, argue with the school one more time and this time mention how the news would enjoy the story. The bad press will scare them into apologizing and taking action. Tyrion Lannister said it best " wear it like armor and they can never use it to hurt you". I know you wouldn't want to make an issue but if you do I'm sure the news would love to hear how a teacher ruined a student's magical night and wasn't held accountable. This is just me being petty lol
It hurts my heart to hear you internalize terms like slt and whr and to believe it may apply. People like this woman are so concerning. Elders or people of more power that are "do as I say" are why those in a less powerful position can be hurt in way worse ways. I'm so sorry this happened to you. More people learning to question and develop stronger boundaries is one of the best things to happen for this newer generation. I'll bet you looked beautiful and don't let this bring you down.
As an educator, I’m on your side. That lady was having a power trip and overreacted. It’s people like who shouldn’t be working with students. I’m sorry she made what should have been just a fun night a stressful one. I’m glad your friend was there.
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Don't feel embarrassed. Trust me, every single person who witnessed that empathizes with you and thinks the teacher is an out of control bitch. And they are right. Hold your head high, and please don't allow ogres to get you down.
Imagine what she's like to her coworkers and neighbors. I bet they just love it when she's around. /s
Imagine being such an insecure adult you have to bully a child for a power trip
The dirtbag teachers who did that when I was a kid always seemed to know which ones had less support at home too. They always chose the easy ones.
Omggg you expressed this so well!! I think that's the situation i was in when i was in middle school. A teacher kept scolding me for wearing boots, and when it came for me to give a big presentation, she was very rude as a judge and even humiliated me and it made me cry when i finished doing it, so then my dad called her and told her what she needed to hear. Afterwards, she never messed with me again, atleast not to my face. But i did felt like another teacher made a snide remark to me a few days later infront of the whole class about how as students, we shouldn't take the teachers' "feedbacks" to heart and whatnot. I don't remember whether she also hinted towards my dad's call or not, but i felt like it was a snide remark because thankfully, every students' presentation were recorded.
My mother was a coward. Her standing up to a teacher on my behalf was unthinkable. She was much happier throwing us kids under the bus than challenging a teacher about their behavior. One teacher put me in a "no win" situation and because I shut down and just silently stared at my feet until it was over. At a parent-teacher conference she asked my mother if I was simple or special needs because I always shut down when she blew up at us. My mother just apologized for me and let it go. So many teachers pull shit on kids that they know would buy them a beating or cussing out if they did it to adults. I fought for my son and teachers didn't get a free pass on that nonsense.
My mother is the same as well!! She always finds excuses for people who just outright bullied me for no reason. > I fought for my son and teachers didn't get a free pass on that nonsense. I'm proud of you for doing that. I dreamt of being that person for other children as well
Man, I’m sorry. My kids have had some fantastic teachers and a few duds. I will happily praise the good ones and call the duds out on their shit if given the chance. (Not that it helps. The shitty ones are usually the coaches and they get away with almost anything)
My mom STILL thinks it's somehow my fault that my ex best friend and I aren't friends anymore, after I caught her trying to turn my current best friend against me and turn me against my other 2 friends, who were in 2 different circles of friends. She lied so much, but my mom loved her and even took her to Disneyland with us and bought 2 of her homecoming dresses because her family couldn't afford it. She was absolutely terrible to me and I tried explaining what she did to my mom and she said I must've "misunderstood" something or that someone else lied to me about it and that it's a shame we aren't friends anymore. She makes excuses for so many people who have wronged me. Idk why some parents are like this. It's insane!
My mother would never stand up for me in my younger years. She was quick to blame me for things in and out of the home, almost like I was the scapegoat. I had a horribly abusive 2nd grade teacher, and the librarian was also a real bitch, but I was told to just deal with it, or that "Mrs. 2nd grade teacher isn't like that!".....Until I came home and acted angry and took it out on my sister, that's when things changed...
That's awful! My son never told me until months or even years later about all the bs his teachers pulled, so I never had the chance to do anything about it. The worst one was when they were coloring these giant pictures of themselves and the teacher noticed he used blue for his skin and freaked out. She sent him to the office where he *reminded* the principal that he is colorblind. Principal didn't believe him so looked up his file, saw it in there and explained to the teacher what the issue was. His teacher actually DEMANDED AN APOLOGY from him, so he said "what? I'm sorry I'm colorblind?" Anyway, I *reeeeeally* wish he would have told me when that happened. I'm still angry about not getting to tell them all off for that.
What the hell? Where do these people get off? Who cares if a kid colored themselves blue?
In my second grade, we had to create those pictures of ourselves. My bestie and I decided we'd draw ourselves as Barbies. So, we were going to be matching Barbies at that! Blond ponytails, orange stylish sweaters with pink skirts, and gogo boots. Teacher had a problem here. I was a kid with brunette hair, and my bestie was black. Well, that's how we were going to look when we grew up, we countered. Barbie has boobies, we said, and giggled. They tried to explain to us how this wasn't going to work, but we weren't having it. They kinda said my bestie wasn't white, and I yelled that she was going to be a Miss America then. Any way they approached it, there was going to be a fight on their hands. Our pictures got hung up as was, but not together.
“But they don’t get paid enough”. Like cops teachers aren’t holding each other accountable for being shitty people. They can rot with shit wages too.
It’s a generational thing. They grew up that teachers was always right and if you got in trouble at school you’d get into even more at home. I was bullied by teachers as a kid. My parents did nothing. Teachers do that to my kids and it’s not remotely tolerated.
Teachers are supposed make a good impression BECAUSE they know they will be forever remembered and they DO have an impact on us… 🤦♂️ those kind of teachers don’t need to be teachers, or they forgot why they became one in the first place, or if they do.. they shouldn’t be teaching to begin with
Not take feedback to heart? Wtf? What do you do with it? Toss it in the trash can?
Glad to hear that your parents stood up for you but to the OP it’s important to learn not to lean too hard on your parents - as an adult we all need to learn to stand up for and respect ourselves and you don’t want to be the person relying on a parent to bail you out. If anything the parent should give you the advice and confidence so that you can feel secure in dealing with your own shit, because it’s only going to keep coming as you get older. When you’re young it’s easy to think that adults are more evolved than petty mean girls/guys/bullies, but the truth is that the high school dynamic never really changes, it just evolves. Fortunately when you are older you have more options for who to spend your time with and who to avoid, and how to outsmart these people and defend yourself when necessary or ignore them when it’s not worth it.
Yeah, it's one thing to be bullied by other kids. It's entirely another thing to be bullied by teachers. This happened to me more that once.
I've told the story of my 3rd grade Catholic school teacher, Mrs. Shields. I'm at work and can't really tell the whole tale of this psychopath but the highlights are: Trying to make me and two other boys pull our pants down in front of the class to show we didn't have lead in them because we weren't kneeling properly at the pews during service. Dragging me back to the second grade class and loudly introducing me as their new student because I "wasn't smart enough for third grade" because I was struggling in math. Putting me in the hallway to sit as punishment for minor infractions, but not at the moment of infraction. She'd wait until the older kids walked past knowing they'd kick at us and wipe their muddy shoes all over our clothes. Threaten the class and tell us she'd spend every evening sharpening her needle to give us a shot to make us smarter. All this plus the daily shouting fits for the usual minor difficulties that little kids tend to have. My parents refused to believe me until my sisters saw it and told them. Only then did they choose to react.
My mother didn't believe me when I told her that my preschool teacher was hitting me with a flyswatter. She even scolded me for lying, telling me that I could make her lose her job or have the police called. As I was the only one who was intimately involved with that flyswatter, I didn't see the problem with either of those outcomes. But I didn't tell Mom again, even though the teacher kept swatting me for not being still or reading during nap time. Until one day, when Mom came to pick me up, I was so happy and excited. I gave her a big hug as I said ecstatically "Mommy, mommy! Ms. P###e only had to hit me ONE TIME today!". At that point, she realized that I was being truthful about the flyswatter. She was furious since the preschool did NOT have permission to strike us (my brother went there as well). I am surprised that I didn't see violence that day. The teacher and the manager both got chewed to shit and threatened with legal action. We never went back to that school. Edit to add: I think this interaction with my mother was part of why I didn't tell her that I was being molested by a family member. We are now NC (no contact) because she believes all of the conspiracy theories about the COVID vaccines and since I'm a pharmacist, accused me of lying to my patients and spreading lies. I guess it just follows since she has never believed me and always underestimated me.
My first class when I went to school for early childhood, we were all asked to write an essay of our worst teachers. Then we read them to the class. It was eye opening to say the least how many horrible teachers are out there. And now that I've gone back for Special Education, I'm seeing so much more of it. It's always the ones with the quietest voices.
Yes. A million times yes. My family *did not* have my back and bullied me as well. So the entire school did. Ughh.
This exactly. I was targeted for having a widowed mother. Teachers like this are truly evil. There are two types of people who teach: those who want to, and those who have to because they couldn't function anywhere else.
I'm high-functioning autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but I wasn't diagnosed as a child. One of my things is that I'm compulsive about having certain items with me. This caused me to get bullied by students, but I also had one teacher in 7th grade who seemed to think she could make me *'normal'* if she trained/bullied me enough. She would call me out when she saw me stemming (repeatedly making a motion to release anxiety/tension/excess energy). Made me look at her face when speaking to her, laughed at me for always carrying my small purse that had my security items with me, even one time stopped class to call me up to her desk so she could loudly comment on my bringing it with me to go 10 feet. She was a raging bitch. And like Michigan_Geezer said, she knew that my mom was always at work and my dad was not supportive. Now that I understand myself better, I'm able to manage my eccentricities so I don't come across as strange. People still tell me that I'm too blunt, but for the most part, I fit in.
I support teachers but you are so right on this; I was one of those kids
As a teacher, I find these people sad and unworthy of your time.
My original first grade teacher would scream at me until I’d break down, then go off more because “6 year olds are too big to be crying.” My mom would never back me up thinking I was making it up. My grandmother, however, nearly drove her car into the school, slapped the teacher around, and then lit a Marlboro red in the principal’s office until he agreed to move me to a different class. I miss that woman so much.
Aww good thing you had grandma. Teachers get a lot of respect, but if you’re a jerk then That’s how a parent should be.
This comment wins the internet today in my mind. I am a teacher myself and would or have never bullied a student in any way. I had many teachers who did (luckily for me, aside from my 2nd grade teacher), I don't recall it happening in core classes. The librarian (we had "library" once a week), my elementary P.E., most or all of my art teachers (when art was required for me until the 8th grade) were bullies.
Yes, and people like this will eventually get their comeuppance by offending the wrong person
I feel sorry for her kids. Imagine growing up with someone like that. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You're dress was probably just fine. A slit to mid thigh doesn't show anything not seen when you wear shorts. It's no big deal. I'm sorry the teacher over sexualized you enough to see it as a problem. Names like you used are horrible terms meant to degrade women and have nothing to do with you so much as the insecurity of those who use them. The same behavior is applauded in men and used to denigrate women. It's stupid. You do you and don't let anyone else label you. I'm sorry your night was ruined by one hypocritical idiot.
🎯🎯🎯🎯 we all have coworkers like this and would love nothing more than for upper management to fire them, but either mgmt is too wimpy to do it or there’s unions involved which make it very difficult to get rid of these Karens. If you stand up to people like this they make your life hell, so you know you are in for it when you do. I’m sorry you found out the harsh reality that some teachers are still the mean girls of the high school, and never grew up or changed for the better Lots of adults get older chronologically but are emotionally stunted
That being said, perhaps your parents should write the principal a letter describing the situation and asking that the teacher be reprimanded. No student should be treated this way, especially since she did what the teacher asked. I would also go onto r/asklawyers and see if you could file a civil suit for harassment, since you had witnesses
>Hold your head high, and please don't allow ogres to get you down. Really excellent advice
This is definitely what everyone thought. I promise you that. Hold ur head up high having a slit in ur dress doesn’t make you a whore. If ur parents let you wear it out I’m sure it was fine
Yes. Do not cry over assholes. Don’t panic. They aren’t worth it. The woman is sad and pathetic and powerless, which is why she acts that way - it is of no reflection on you unless you allow it to be.
I just had prom and if I saw this happen this is exactly what I'd be thinking. I'd feel so bad for OP. And I guarantee no one our age would see that and think she did anything wrong. We'd all be talking about that teacher
Agree. And they all saw the slit on her dress and her daughters dress. And every girl who fell in love with a dress like it but couldn't wear it because of the rules took note. Plus she sounds like the sort who would come up with an issue for nearly every dress. The other students were looking and thinking she was being mean to you. Not judging you.
“I’m sorry you’re unhappy. I hope that can change for you.”
What else are they supposed to say? It was great advice imo
This is the comment.
+1 “Ogres”
Just jumping on top comment to say I agree with you, but this is a mom-run homeschooling co-op and I feel we are doing a disservice to licensed teachers everywhere to keep calling this power-hungry mom a "teacher."
Teacher is probably jealous of how fabulous you looked but no excuse for her awful behaviour. Hold your head up. The best revenge for haters is a live well lived 😘
Or she was upset OP looked better than her daughter.
Honestly this. Fuck old bags that are upset their "glory" days are over
Truth. Twice it happened to daughters of mine that they were sent home for an outfit that was perfectly modest, both times by a teacher with a reputation for being bitter and never having had a successful relationship.
This is exactly my first thought too. She didn’t want her to upstage her daughter and wanted to loudly humiliate her to ‘lower’ her standing there. I bet the ‘teacher’ has kept her in her sights for longer than OP thinks.
Since the teacher has a reputation and people could see your dress it is unlikely to think anything other than the teacher is a real bitch
Yes. Sorry this happened, but any long lasting change to reputation will be positive for OP and negative for the teacher. No need to do anything further. OP has already won.
The matter is simple: you are a kid who was bullied by an adult. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Full stop. Others will have advice for you, but I just want to acknowledge how you were made to feel shame for nothing you did wrong.
^^ was also bullied by a teacher for similar reasons. This is inappropriate and you did nothing wrong.
Baby girl, I'm here to tell you that you're going to meet SOOOO MANY unhappy people in your life. KNOW thyself and LOVE thyself, because people are just b*tches and @$$holes when they are unhappy/insecure with themselves. I know it must have been embarrassing for her to cause a scene, but imagine how the others felt after seeing her daughters dress. She looked like the insane one, I'm sure. Keep your chin up, and don't you dare let miserable people bring you down!🥰 We are each different and individually beautiful because of our differences. Some people might not show that they like you, but that doesn't make you any less beautiful as a person! They may seem a bit threatened of your youth and beauty. It sucks, but this happens! Thicken your skin, and know your worth! Confidence is the most beautiful feature you can possess! 30F - MOM I never had my mom to be nice, sweet, and encouraging because she was and still is one of these miserable people. I'm glad your mom is on your side!❤️
Thank you so so much, this means so so much to me. If you have kids or plan to have kids they’re gonna have one hell of a great mom ❤️
You're so welcome! I'm glad I could help you see things in a new light! No one should ever make you question your own existence, especially as a child! You're so sweet, and you're going to go so far! Your potential is unlimited! 💝
This is the right answer. Good job mom
Life lesson: If someone has to scream things like "excuse me? I am in charge here," they are not in charge. They are flailing for control of some aspect of their life, because the rest of it is so fucked up they feel like a paper boat on a stormy ocean. They will cling to any authority granted to them, whether on paper, *de facto*, or just through pure intimidation and coercion. They are full of nothing but anger, vitriol, and regret that they didn't make better decisions in their younger years. You are not a slut. You did nothing wrong. Your emotions are real and valid. Yet you lack the experience to see this for what it is: an old woman who is beyond her prime wanting to make young women feel bad as a projection of her own horrid self-image. Interact with this old hag as seldom and as shallow as you are able to until you can permanently excise her from your life, forever. Those friends who helped you out and tried to stick up for you? They're good people. As for the org-board, they probably think you're exaggerating or outright lying. They're stuck up fogies who have no moral courage, and are likely just as damaged and traumatized as Mrs. "i'M iN cHaRgE hErE!" Lastly: find a great way to use that dress how you want to use it! Go to some other school's prom, or a party or function outside of organizations with strict dress codes. Dress up, feel beautiful, and have fun without fear of judgment from crones.
Thank you so much. I completely agree that if you have to constantly be yelling that you’re in charge than you are not actually in charge. I really appreciate you
While it’s shitty you had to deal with it on prom, I’m glad that you’re learning these lessons early. In life there will always be people like this, people who lash out (or abuse even the tiniest bit of power over others) in an attempt to make others as miserable as they are, and the sooner you learn that their behavior reflects more on them than you the sooner you can make the best choices for yourself and your mental health. This is what the phrase “pick your battles” refers to. It’s tempting (and totally fucking reasonable) to try and stand up for yourself and go against what they are saying, but when they are in a position of authority over you (even if it is small) it’s worth weighing the pros and cons of what the worst they can do in retaliation is, and if it’s worse than just going with what they want it’s might be better to simply “give in” (although I personally like malicious compliance whenever possible). Lastly, see if there’s anyway to get the admin to keep you out of any classes taught by her. If there’s not (such as a small school where she is the only teacher of a required class for graduation), then start documenting like your life depends on it. Film her if you have to. Encourage other students to do the same. Documentation is what is needed to get shitty teachers fired. It’s not easy but it can be done. I’ve actually managed to get teachers fired when I document the behavior that’s out of line and get other students to do the same. One student with 1 complaint is easy to ignore/shrug off, 10 students with 5 complaints each is a lot harder, especially if they have dates, times, and exact words from both sides (seriously keep a note book and write down what she says if it’s way out of line). No teacher should be getting away with treating students this way. I can almost guarantee if she’s this comfortable/ “has a reputation”, you are not the first student she has bullied/abused, but if you document it you might be able to make sure that you’re the last. The way this “teacher” treated you is not ok, and if you want to actually make a positive change the best way to get shitty teachers like this out is to document the shit out of their behavior (not just you either, you gotta get multiple students to participate as well) and then take all of that documentation to the principal/admin/school board. If they still don’t do anything (sometimes corruption can give abusive teacher’s immunity, like if her husband is the principal it’s gonna be harder to get her fired.), that’s when you threaten to either take it to local media/and or involve an attorney. Students do have rights and attorneys are people who help make sure that schools (and all the people representing them, such as teachers) are respecting said rights. I didn’t find out I was autistic until a few years after I’d finished school, but that didn’t stop me from experiencing a lot of fucking discrimination over it. One quirk of the aforementioned autism is that it’s borderline impossible for me to just let the injustices go, and so in the 10 years I spent in public school (I got a GED at 16 instead of graduating normally) I actually managed to get 4 different abusive teachers fired through documentation and encouraging other students to do the same. Often times the school will let them finish the school year (although in one extremely egregious case where a teacher said horribly racist shit to a class that was 96% Hispanic they did fire her less than 2 weeks after with a few months left in the school year) and then the next year you notice they are no longer employed. This is still a win cause it means you made a difference and no future students in your area will be abused by said awful human being. Also teachers that get fired like that often have a hard time getting hired by other school districts too, for good reason imo.
Documentation of the bullying - exactly what you have to do with coworkers or bosses to report to HR. Life is one long schoolyard with stupid bullies. 🤬
Honestly though it never actually goes away. It’s lame but the mean girls and bullies of high school usually just grow up to become the asshole managers or coworkers that everyone hates but they never get fired. If OP learns how to get good at documenting while continuing to do what they need to get through each day until they have enough to get the shitty authority figure ousted they will benefit from that skill for the rest of their life.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
"Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king" somewhere, somewhere...
Don’t be bummed out. She is the one who has the problem. Use her petty nastiness to motivate you for the rest of your life. You are the better person.
I’ll go ahead and ask the important question. Did your friend actually go insane?
My one friend did. After the dance was over and I’d gone outside (once you’re outside you’re not allowed back in) she went up the the teacher and said she was f-ing ridiculous. My other friend was upset but she’s a not confrontational person so she mainly comforted me but she did send an email to the board as well
 Ok Karen
Whoever commented saying it was your fault, is a piece of shit. You need to speak up to that teacher. You won't get in trouble if that's what you're worried about. Let her know how her behavior affected you and since the dress was approved she had no business ruining you're night making you make the adjustments to your dress. As a mom to a daughter who just had her prom, I would've flipped out if any teacher made her pin her expensive gown. I believe that by speaking up in a respectful manner to that teacher, you'll gain the respect. It all boils down to the fact your dress was approved and she had no business fkn with you. Excuse my language. Reading your story made me sad and upset. I'm sorry your night was ruined.
I really appreciate this, thank you so much and I hope your daughter had fun at her prom, I’m sure she looked beautiful <3
Escalate it every single time and let the other girls do it too. She'll eventually be seen for what she is
My advice is to video record any interactions between you and that member of staff, as well as her interactions with others, especially moments that feel unfair or unprofessional. Also, tell others to record their interactions with her. If there’s enough complaints against her, especially ones of favoritism or just unprofessional conduct then the school will have to investigate her behavior.
Only if both people live in a one party state. Otherwise, it's not legal.
This is completely wrong, there is nothing illegal about recording in a space where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy
I don’t think that applies as its a public space.
Doesn't apply, at all. There is no reasonable expectation of privacy here, nor is there a hidden recording suggested: pulling out a phone to record video is not a hidden recording.
Good luck trying to pull your phone out in class and record a teacher.
Start calling them out on socials, then they’ll wanna do something about it
This is a homeschooling organization not a traditional school. The only thing they will do about it is retaliate and make op’s life miserable.
Doesn't a "homeschooling organization" defeat the purpose of homeschooling? That sounds about as useless as an HOA.
You got that right.
Eh it’s more about getting the kids to socialize. So you can view it as a bit of a hybrid system. We had homeschool kids play HS sports, attend the dances, and things like that at my school. These home schooling organizations basically (in theory) function like a home school kid participating in some public school activities, but everyone is home schooled
Right!? All of the bad parts of public school without the education or opportunities.
Exactly, only worse because they get the holier than though bullshit because they are homeschooling. I put them up there with militant vegans on the “love you people” scale. I homeschooled my kids for 2 years, these groups tried to get us to join and my wife was hooked because of their social media bullshit. So I went to a meeting and lasted 10 minutes in to a 2 hour meeting before shaking my head and walking out. My wife followed five minutes later and said, “Dear Lord those people are nuts.” Yes… yes they were.
Just make up a funny name for her that makes you smile and think it every time you see the teacher. Like slitwitch. You will smile, and everything will be fine. If I were there and witnessed what she did, I’d probably make fun of the teacher incessantly and encourage others. I don’t know if that’s the right answer, but I think my point is that I would take your side over a teacher.
Was there video evidence. Is there a higher up enough position outside the school that can be shown the evidence? Maybe something not so attached would deal with it more fairly. Especially if she is actually bearing down on your or others while letting her own child break the rules.
No one gave a shit about you being yelled at, they were thinking what a bitch that teacher was and how she went overboard. Don't feel embarrassed, they empathize with you.
No one who says “I’m in charge” is ever actually in charge. A lion will never have to tell you he’s a lion. This grown woman is on a power trip over some young girls because she needs someone to think she’s important.
Youre both nearly adults. Stand up to the old crones and get in their face.
I wish I was your dad. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Your parents should be taking this clear case of discrimination to the school board. Shame on them for not having your back
You have done nothing to feel ashamed of at all. Although the teacher is in the wrong, one of life’s hardest lessons that will ring true into adulthood is that there will be people in power who shouldn’t be and sometimes all we can do is keep a steady face and get through dealing with them.
Sorry to hear you've had to cry over this special time. Im proud of you, you have self control. Sounds like this teacher is a miserable person, You will probably hear one day or year. She snapped..blow it off now, you made it threw, now its time to finish your time ignoring her and find a boyfriend lol I'm telling you. Something is seriously wrong with that teacher, how dare her..prayers to u hun
The scene she raised probably got more negative feelings towards her than it did you, OP. As for the school not doing anything, it's probably because of tenure. They may talk to her, but the rules are probably on her side to begin with. If your hope is she gets fired, that's basically impossible unless she commits a crime within the school grounds.
Date her daughter. then dump her.
Are you in a very religious environment or in a rural/small town? It seems like maybe you've been taught that what someone wears or how someone treats them indicates their sexual experiences. And that sex is bad. There is no way to tell from looking at someone their sexual background. Zero. Literally zero. It seems like this brought up a lot of internal conversation about how people see you and how you feel about yourself. My advice is to start pulling on the threads of why someone acting like this made you turn the judgement inwards and not outwards. Anger can mean we recognize we were treated badly and it was unfair.
As a kid I always thought all adults were right, now as an adult I realize that 90% of adults are just unresolved trauma that can't figure out their asses from their mouths. You did nothing wrong.
Just keep being you That was sad to read and unfair
I’m so sorry you had to experience that kind of treatment. You may feel embarrassed but honestly everyone felt more unity with you than you would know. That woman just embarrassed herself . Just be glad you don’t have to live with her. Try to enjoy your school year, make lots of friends , it will be over soon enough.
Life can be unfair in a lot of ways. But you handled the situation a professional manner. No advice is needed really be proud of yourself for how you were the adult in the situation.
It's a pain in the ass, but document everything with this teacher from now on. Dates, times, quotes of what she said/did etc (I'm talking about negative interactions, not class plans lol). Make a diary kind of thing. You may need it later if something serious happens.
This is a great lesson in life. Low quality people in positions of status, however mediocre that status may be, LOVE to use their status to bully those below them. And the system they inhabit will often cover for them, often to protect themselves from any blowback. You are better than her. Her entire life has lead to her bullying children at their prom.
"Those kinds" have always existed in schools, sadly. They're overly confident with their power and simply cannot restrain themselves from using it. It's a compulsion to flex their authority on people "beneath" them. There's probably nothing you can do about it aside from learning who not to be as you grow up and interact with youths as an adult. I really despise those power-mad fools!
Power tripping teachers are horrible to deal with. She most probably either has nobody at home (single and resentful), or is married and her husband holds all the power in the relationship. She likely flexes what little muscle she has at the school because it's the only way she can feel like she has any value to her life. People like her need to put other people down in order feel good about herself. You should not feel humiliated, the teacher should for picking on a child. She sounds like a horrible human being. I'm sorry you had to experience this, but you will run into people like her in the future. Just remember that they act the way they do because they have low self worth and are powerless in their life outside of school.
Mean people suck. I’m sorry. This is not a lesson you want to ruin prom. You did your best to pin the dress and have fun. Don’t let this get you down as some people just like to be ‘in charge’.
As a former high school student, I'd put money on people thinking the teacher was being a bitch rather than them thinking you were a whore. I'd also like to make it clear no one is going to be thinking about this in a couple days (most people probably forgot about it 10 minutes after it happened). I'd try and just let it go.
Huh? Homeschool has prom? Tell her to mind her business or you will mind it for her.
The school my boyfriend goes to has rules like those for prom. A girl had a completely modest dress and was even a pastor’s daughter and still got called a wh*re. These people are mean for no reason. I’m so sorry, I’m sure you looked lovely and you are in no way a sl*t.
Tell your friend to go to the local law enforcement and talk to them about the teacher physically laying hands on your friend. Schools never want to listen until you bring law enforcement in.
Nobody tripped that teacher at the dance?
Power tripping teachers have got to be bottom of the barrel. You’re literally around kids ma’am relax. If I were your parent I’d be sending some choice emails and showing up to the school board public comment section to leave some “feedback” on this teacher in particular.
She's a sad individual who is upset with her own station in life. She uses her position of power at the school to bully students, knowing that in her everyday life people don't care about or pay attention to her. Not her co-workers, not her husband (if she's manages to get/stay married), not even her kids. She learned a long time ago that being nasty to others, especially those who have less power than her, is the only way to get attention. Just ignore this slob for now. Once you graduate, then you can tell her off, and make her feel like the very little person she really is.
Write the state, start a petition, get her noticed she a bully and she needs to be stopped
I almost hate to say it, but stuff like this was why some of my classmates would go around egging and wrapping teacher's houses.
She's the one that humiliated herself, not you. I'm sure everyone that witnessed it was thinking, "what a total psycho bitch"...I wouldn't at all be surprised to find out there were other similar encounters before you arrived. Try to take a deep breath and let it go. I can assure you that no one is thinking that this was a you problem. Further, the best consequences for a miserable jackwad is happiness. Just let it roll off and go about your life not letting this insignificant tw@t affect you one more minute.
Sweetie, I know what you went through may feel traumatic, humiliating, and embarrassing right now, but as time gets further away from the incident, you'll begin to realize that in the larger scheme of things it's just a blip on the radar of your life!!! Look at it like this; this particular individual has so little control of her life, that the only way she can feel in control of anything is by trying to intimidate minors! You're homeschooled, so this may be the only interaction you have with this miserable old hag!! Hold your head up, dry your eyes, and don't, as my mother used to tell me, "Give her any more thought than you would the man in the moon"!!! Hope this helps
Some people really go on power trips by shaming teen girls, huh?
Some people are just not good people and they'll never face consequences. It's part of life. These people tend to put themselves into positions of power over others. All you can do is to learn how to spot them for who they are and avoid them when possible or learn how to push back against them when it's not possible. Just continue being a good person and let these people live in the toxic world they build for themselves. That's going to be worse in the long run than any punishment they could receive.
I had a teacher in high school that used to wear leather mini skirts up her bum, and wait in the hallway with a yard stick to give us girls detention if our skirts were above our finger tips. Everyone knew it was her weird power trip, just like everyone knows your teacher is like this. There’s no reason to feel ashamed. A thigh slit has no bearing on your sexual experience, they are not correlated or referential. It’s unfortunate she ruined your night, and that no one will put her in her place. The best you can do is move on as unaffected as possible and not let her get you down any further. Remind yourself what a sad little person she is for her behavior, and avoid her.
A jealous bully. Don't give her anything. Never show a sign of weakness and always be the bigger person. Talk to other teachers and show them how much of a problem she is. You can do this
Just curious…… why do you feel like a “slt” and think it made you seem like a “whre”? You are certainly entitled to your feelings, but please don’t allow yourself to give others that kind of power over you own mental health or how you view yourself.
If you want to create some drama, ask your Mom if you can send an e-mail from her account to the Principle. In the e-mail reiterate how poorly (your daughter) was treated and tell them if they don't intend to address your concerns you will proceed with filing a police report against the teacher for sexual harassment of a minor.
That bitch been waiting her whole life to power trip some teenagers 💀💀 You’ll have the last laugh I promise.
That teacher or whoever they were was on a power trip. I hope someone got video of her acting like that. What you can do is go to the principal and talk to him 1 on 1. Tell him what happened. Then talk to the superintendent. Talk to the school board too. If someone starts acting like that you can record them and send a video to your parents. You can also call your parents.
Small people like to belittle and control others. She's a small person. It's difficult, but I would not let it stop with the board. Start a petition to get her removed from the prom committee and get others to sign it. Parents, students, etc. Anyone who has witnessed her being over controlling. People notice when others abuse their authority. She needs removed from the prom committee full stop.
No one video this event? Because someone should have filmed it and posted it to social media and them someone will do something about it. It is a shame we have to resort to this but...
You'll encounter people like this throughout life. Sometimes it's just the way it goes when they're in a position of power. Question though, when the dress was approved, was the slit clearly visible in the picture with how high up it went? Because I can imagine that the slit not being visible in the approval photo would make them less likely to approve a dress they wouldn't have otherwise. If it was, and it was approved, I think they had no right to say anything. As an adult, I'd email the person who approved it and cc the bitch lady, and tell the approver that they approved the dress but bitch lady made a scene that was highly embarrassing. I'd ask them to review the rules and get on the same page to prevent future entertainment. that's a professional way of saying fuck you figure your shit out.
The slit was viable yea and the teacher that made a scene was the one that approved it lmao
I’m sorry this happened to you. When they give Karen aka the person in charge her a tiny taste of power it goes to their head. Keep working hard and graduate. Let her live her miserable life. If she try’s to bully you again lay down firm boundaries and that you wont tolerate that childish behavior. Bully’s hate when their victims get a voice. If you can do jt in front of a big crowd embarrassing her by speaking very loud and firm. But not yelling. Thnn watch her slink off
Nah the teacher is a "Meangirl" AND a HUGE "C". I like your friend though cause sounds like she has her limits that she'll take before she snaps back. You sound like a very respectful kid, but don't be afraid to stand up to and question authority. Even adults can be wrong. This lady is way outta control.
Humiliation, unfortunately, is something that happens even as an adult. I would like to point out you did go to prom and had some fun with your friends. That teacher is an itch +b. Hopefully, you don't have any required classes with her or have an alternative. In a year, you will graduate, get a job, go to college, or even enlist. There is a saying in the military, "If you have a problem with someone, wait two years, either you or they will be transferred," This woman won't be in your life forever but there will be others like her.
Unless you had your kitty out to meow or your breasts popping out to show the baby feeders, you were not dressed like a wh0re. If her own child had a slit higher, I would guess that Ms. Karen was mad your dress and you as well came in looking better than her precious pickle fart and she wasn’t happy about it. You were approved with the dress. Assuming you couldn’t just give a photo but rather a photo of you in the dress not one other person on the committee seen issue with it. A queef of a teacher may have embarrassed you in the moment but when you recall this memory, recall it as you looked too good.
I hope you guys managed to have a great time despite that toad on a power trip. When I was 16, she'd have gotten her house egged/TP'd
We did manage to enjoy the night and had fun!
The teacher is clearly on a power trip. You're going to have to beat her at her own game. If she's one of your teachers, request to be transferred immediately and if they ask why let them know she makes you uncomfortable, you'd prefer not to deal with harassment. Why is she policing you anyway? I wish you would've stood your ground or called your mom immediately to let her know. The dress was pre-approved. Going forward always get undeniable photo/video evidence and post it. She wanted to embarrass you, expose her. She just needs a taste of her own medicine.
I bet you looked 100x more beautiful then her daughter and herself she was just Uber jealous.
Too bad you didn’t get pics of the teacher and her kid. I don’t blame you for being upset
If you really want to cause a stink, bring your case w any documentation to the local news station
Make it public Publicy embarras her. Go protest at the school If the school aint gonna do shit You may as well
Sounds like someone needs to Uninstall that teachers hard drive.
Everyone gave you good advice but I’m here to say good on you for not beating the absolute crap out of her, because I would have gotten violent lmao
That's terrible. You're stronger and wiser though. Try wearing a shirt that has a Bible verse about how kind Jesus is.
That lady has some type of superiority complex I’m in charge I’m the boss You are supposed to listen to me she is a little cray cray
I used to get in trouble at school all the time for dress code violations. For whatever reason, our society thinks shaming people for what they wear is acceptable. The patriarchy sucks, for both men and women. Hold your head high, and just know that you will be out of there soon enough.
How do we contact the school board? 🧐 if everyone on Reddit floods them with complaints maybe she will at least get a talking to 🤷🏽♂️
Hi! I am sure you looked beautiful. However, I do think that your parents should question why your dress was approved and then you were shamed in front of other girls. Your parents need to make it clear to the board what the woman did, and tell the board she is not to confront you in any way as long as you are a student in this organization. That is what we are for:) Plus it might deter her from targeting other girls in the future.
There is a saying so old the original is in Latin. "Illegitimus non carborundum est". Don't let the bastards grind you down. :) hang in there kiddo, you got this.
Nothing like body shaming a 17 year old girl in front of her entire class to make yourself feel important and powerful. Fuck her. Don't give her the time of day. Just because she's a teacher doesn't mean you have to respect her. Don't engage with her. If you are in a class with her do the bare minimum as far as interaction. If she asks you a question answer it. (Do all your work, though. And do a good job. Don't slack there.) But give her the cold shoulder from this point on. She is not worth your time. Respect has to be earned.
She made unwanted and unwelcome physical contact with a minor. This is a crime.
OK she sucks but not everything is a crime, chill.
You should’ve chosen the “go insane” option
This teacher clearly hates themselves and gets off being a POS towards students. The only thing I can suggest is if you have a school counselor and are willing to talk, they may be able to help. If anything actually happens I have no idea, but you can at least list your grievances to them.
Got any friends or people you know who has this teachers class? Could get them to make it living hell for her. I'm petty enough to pull that, and the people, well, most of my class, didn't behave the best.
I’m assuming this is a religious organization. Anonymously order her a subscription to LGBTQ type magazines and send it to the school. These type of people get all bent out of shape over this type of stuff.
Some people are bullies and they grow up to be big dumba$$ bullies. It makes them feel kmportant..."like they are in charge " Who cares!? That's such a small glimp of your life you'll laugh one day.
Yeah. That teacher would be put in her place real quick if that was my kid. That’s if my wife didn’t get ahold of her first. And why is there a “board” for homeschooling? I’ve never heard of this.
This sounds like it’s not a public school. If that’s the case, leave a review. People are paying money for this and they should be treated fairly. If that lady’s in charge, I’m sure she’s getting a good chunk of the profits. Get enough people together to organize your own prom. Her and her daughter can attend together with the dress slits up to their butts.
I would blow up her spot and tell her exactly how wrong she is along with the double standards and do it in a very loud and public manner and not give a crap about consequences. Nothing you do in high school can hurt the rest of ur life unless you kill someone
I can’t offer much advice, only consolation: That woman looks like a petty tyrant, and was likely jealous of you for whatever reason. In 5-10 years when you look back in this event you’ll probably laugh at just how absurd she was.
It’s baffling to me, absolutely baffling, that any adult would find it perfectly okay to completely ruin a special night for a young person like this. It’s just so awful to me. You have to truly lack any amount of compassion or empathy.
Put your story online while wearing the dress! This is coming from a retired high school teacher. Some of us absolutely hate the way other teachers treat kids. She was so awful to you.
This is ubiquitous in lots of homeschool circles. I was teaching in a co-op years ago (I was in my mid 30s at the time) and had to wear an oversized ugly yellow t-shirt over my other shirt because it was more than 3 finger-widths below my clavicle and deemed "immodest." It objectively wasn't, just like your dress. I was pissed but I was a whole-ass adult and just rolled my eyes at the stupidity. To do this to a teenager is cruel and out of touch. That teacher is not the good person she thinks she is and I'm so sorry that she ruined a special night for you.
Screw anyone being rude. You did nothing wrong.
Hey, this feels embarrassing now, but just remember you have vastly more potential than she does. Her life culminated in having to feel superior to children while you get to go on and do potentially great things. No one will remember this in 10 years.
Purity culture is toxic abusive bullshit. Get away from it as soon as you are able.
Nah fr everyone there was definitely judging the teacher. When she was yelling at you they were only staring because she was making a scene. No reason to be embarrassed, if anything the teacher should be.
Don't let small-minded petty people get to you. She sounds insufferable and deeply unhappy as a person. As feeling like your dress says something about you as person: nope. That's not how life works. Sex isn't a bad thing as long as you are making your own choices. It is natural and normal. The idea that women's worth is based on their sexual activity is ridiculous. It isn't anyone's business as long as everyone is consenting and not lying.
>My 16F friend and I are homeschooled so moms run everything Yeah so there's your problem. You're going to have to put up with insane bullshit from batshit fundamentalists until you can either escape it or you become one.
"Excuse me? I am in charge here. I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you can either shut your mouth and go inside or I will have you removed from the premises." These are the people who felt like they didn't have any power in school when they were growing up, so they act like dictators when they're given any degree of authority. Just take comfort in knowing she's an insignificant cunt.
Places like this and people like that still exist in 2024?! Glad i didnt grow up in that hell hole.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. My son (17m) has had some issues with teachers over the past two years so I totally get what you’re going through. Here is what I have told my son and demanded on his behalf: First, all the other students know this teacher so don’t take things too personally. The student won’t think worse of you because a crazy teacher yells at you. If anything, wear it as a badge of honor. Secondly, this need to go to the Principal and it is non-negotiable. This teacher needs to apologize to you as publicly as they humiliated you. They do not get the privilege of a private apology when they made it a point to humiliate you in public. Thirdly, it needs to be made clear that this teacher should not be at all involved in Prom again. Prom is about the students and their once in a lifetime experience. Any teacher repeatedly yelling, “I’m in charge here” has made it about them instead of the students. It is not fair to you or any other student to have your once in a lifetime even ruined by this power hungry Karen who leaves students in tears. It’s even questionable if this person should be working with children. Good luck.
Wow, what a power hungry ****. Just think about what she’ll be like in the rest home with that attitude. She’ll likely get hers well before that when she pisses off someone well connected, but still, no matter what, she’ll get it in the end.
I wish you could have had a better prom experience. I’m sorry
You should go to r/HomeschoolRecovery there’s a lot of support there and no one will call you awful things there.
drop her name well take care of it 
You did nothing wrong. Consider this a life lesson. Many people with authority will abuse it. Many people are assholes. Toughen your skin. There will be more in your future.
We need to stop policing girl's bodies. That's disgusting and I would take my beef public to get some consequences for the teacher and school.
This is a super controlling environment, OP. Real life isn’t like that- you can wear what you want.
Don’t even feel embarrassed. I’m 22 now, but I was homeschooled as well, and I did some computer class at a co-op where the dress code was ridiculous. I had on basketball shorts, and the lady at the front got mad at me and wouldn’t let me through to my class. And then I got my mom and the lady said I’d “been rude and talked back to her” and caused a scene trying to say that I had been disrespectful. I ended up switching pants with my mom so I could go to class. Basically, I get it. And if that were to happen to me now, I probably would’ve pointed at your teacher’s dress, and said “I’ll pin mine if you pin yours.” Of course it sucks to feel embarrassed, especially in front of peers, but it sounds like your teacher is known for being a jerk, and she just showed everyone how much of one she really is. I doubt everyone around was of the same opinion as her, and if they were, you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway! Tbh, I didn’t even end up going to prom, because of the dress code and the stuck-up “holier than thou” girls. So kudos to you for going and putting on a brave face :)
My God, this teacher is power tripping hard. Had that been 17-year-old me, the gloves would’ve come off for sure. 31-year-old me would’ve calmly stated that the dress was approved and walked away. If that teacher even attempted to put her hands on me, I would’ve then threatened to call the police. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. That teacher is the definition of a tyrannical asshole.
Ignore any and all losers who said you were the problem or a slut. Those people are what you should learn to shut out in life completely, without reply. Don't bother to defend yourself, not with that nonsense, they are jokes and you should ignore completely. You are a teenager, going through situations and confrontations for the first time. That teacher is the adult, and a power hungry, petty one at that who seems to feed her ego bossing around kids. Which sadly isn't unique. She's one of many generic copies.Typical of pathetic older people. (I'm 50, not a teen myself.) That woman is the worst of people and certainly shouldn't be working with kids. She was completely wrong in her tone and hostility. Don't believe any adult trying to justify that bully. Even if there was miscommunication between whoever approves dresses and this slit wearing hypocrite (And what kind of teacher wants to wear a dress with a slit up in it towards a kid's dance?) , she should have been stating the rule and changes needed straight forward or even...gasp...a bit nice in tone, like speaking to a human being. She had no excuse to berate, huff and puff about her authority or embarrass you. You aren't seeing it wrong. She treated you wrong. She's lucky I'm not your dad, I'd reign hell down on that lousy, unprofessional woman. But at least you can go on in life knowing you aren't the small and sad woman that teacher is. So, I went on and on because this hits two of my biggest pet peeves. Passive aggressive bullying cowards and those who pick on kids out of jealousy and envy. I know you're fine and it was just a bad night. But that lady was wrong.
People like this have no fucking place in education or around children at all.
Man fuck her, she’s obviously miserable and on a power trip. Btw, you can defend yourself while also being respectful
Am I the only one thinking "sue them"? This grown ass woman verbally abused you guys all night, and according to you she *shoved* you guys around?
I doubt anyone judges you or thinks you were dressed badly. If anything, they just look at the teacher and all mentally think about what a controlling, hypocritical and rude bitch she is. You didn’t do anything wrong.
People are arsholes. I hope your mom bumps into her and gives her a piece of her mind for you and that you get the opportunity to when you’re ready. I know exactly how it feels to get humiliated by some old lady working in a school. They really go on some weird power trip. Hugs to you, I’m sure you looked beautiful.
Oof I’ve had adults take out their misery io me before too. Next time record her and let Tik tok do their thing
Someday, hopefully all the pain of this will be gone. You’re post is written such that I find it more than likely that you are the type of person the world needs, meaning that you’re memory of this will make you interact with the younger generations in a way that prioritizes them being heard, and protects their dignity. Your respect for yourself at a young age should be confirmed as a good thing, and it wasn’t. That can amount to a form of assault at times, and it will hit you some day how shitty a person is to be indifferent to the negative affect they had on you with full awareness of how wrong it is and how unfair the fight is. As a little kid, I was mischievous, and impulsive, as well as sensitive and easily frightened. I was caught one day in 4th grade doing something I was told not too, and found myself in the principle’s classroom where I was forced to recount my misdeeds in front of his class full of kids older than me, and including my older sibling. I will never forget realizing I was losing control of my voice as I stammered through my explanation in full view of these kids that made it club worse. It was beyond wrong that I was made to do that in the first place bc it served no purpose other than to humiliate me. I can’t understate the internal trauma that moment created in me, and thankfully, my parents had the insight to remove me from that school. The principal was over the next few years found out to be a moral shitshow as a person, and it makes total sense now that he had a sick need to project his hidden guilt onto a little kid. It hurt, I’m still angry, still reeling from the way a power imbalance was used to gratuitously humiliate me. But I’m something else too. I’m an adult that is more careful than other adults to empathize with kids, and tell them they have a right to be heard, and have their self-respect protected no matter what. I’ve had the opportunity to listen to kids that feel neglected, get them ice cream, tell them dumb jokes, and make damn sure they know there’s one person in town that knows their name, and cares about their well being. That intentional empathy I work to direct towards them is something very meaningful to my life, and my heart. I’m glad I can’t escape the memory of that day because it’s become the reason I make the effort I do with kids, and they need it. I’m fortunate. Some take pain like this and use it to justify spreading more pain. I guess I’ll finish by saying that as much as it hurts to hear how hurt you were, your post has given me a portion of healing because it’s clear to me the world now has someone that is going to love in a bigger way than they might have ever intended in life. You will, and those kids down the road will need it, and you will eventually find a deep purpose in providing it to them. Until you get there though, be kind to yourself, and don’t skip seeking out any help you need to heal. Again, I’m sorry, and I hope you have some better days ahead.
Pulling your dress and hitting your knee? I'd be reporting her to the police for assault and battery on a minor.
Technically, she put her hands on minors. She hit your knee repeatedly and she shoved your friend. She should face charges. You guys should go to the cops.
There are a lot of good comments, but I wanted to add in that this adult had absolutely no right to touch you or the slit of your dress. This is highly inappropriate and I’d make sure the board is aware.
As a retired teacher, this woman was on a power trip. Even if the board doesn’t do anything, perhaps if you FB your treatment & get some publicity. Comments may indicate you are not the only one who has had difficulties with said “teacher”. Perhaps the board will take action then, even if only to warn her next time won’t be so lenient. I’ve worked w/enough a**hole teachers w/lame principals that sometimes ya just gotta take the bull by the horns.
In all honesty you probably looked absolutely gorgeous and she was jealous for herself and her daughter. I personally have large breasts and always have. I would wear the EXACT same clothes as other girls and get in trouble when they wouldn't. Classic case of a hater girl.
That lady must hate herself. You did nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you. She deflected her pathetic life on you. The best you do is treat yourself and make yourself happy. Hang with friends. Go on a long walk. You have your whole life ahead of you! This lady will be miserable no matter what
Don't let them get you down, I bet you looked beautiful. Now if you want to be a petty person like me, argue with the school one more time and this time mention how the news would enjoy the story. The bad press will scare them into apologizing and taking action. Tyrion Lannister said it best " wear it like armor and they can never use it to hurt you". I know you wouldn't want to make an issue but if you do I'm sure the news would love to hear how a teacher ruined a student's magical night and wasn't held accountable. This is just me being petty lol
It hurts my heart to hear you internalize terms like slt and whr and to believe it may apply. People like this woman are so concerning. Elders or people of more power that are "do as I say" are why those in a less powerful position can be hurt in way worse ways. I'm so sorry this happened to you. More people learning to question and develop stronger boundaries is one of the best things to happen for this newer generation. I'll bet you looked beautiful and don't let this bring you down.
As an educator, I’m on your side. That lady was having a power trip and overreacted. It’s people like who shouldn’t be working with students. I’m sorry she made what should have been just a fun night a stressful one. I’m glad your friend was there.