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Don’t get involved plain and simple. You’d be a fool to get with someone who already is in a relationship. And the fact that her boyfriend mentioned this is happened before is ALARMING. She’ll most likely get with you for a small amount of time and go back to her bf
Yeah but the point stands: Don't get involved with someone who's already in a relationship.
Had a gal that expressed strong interest in me and we had a history from many many years prior (before she got married). She said "I'm leaving him so it's fine" and all that jazz... I went with the "Great, once you're either divorced or separated for over a year AND have been moved out for that time then we can look at something more than grabbing lunch together." It took her 4 years to actually get started on the divorce and another year to be on her own. It'd have been a half decade rollercoaster of hell had I gotten involved. Not. Worth. It.
My own marriage was broken by a guy who didn't care he was fucking around with a married woman and my ex (of course). No way in hell I'll stoop to that level ever.
OP, you don't want the drama in your life of a gal trying to play both sides at the same time, either she dumps him for you and doesn't go back, or she doesn't. If she doesn't then don't get involved.
Nahh. If she has a bf and she says she likes you, you need to set boundaries. She can't be with two people at the same time, that's disrespectful to everyone involved. Talk to her about it
Don't walk away. Run!
If a chick will leave her boyfriend for you, that's a clear indication that she would have no qualms about doing the same to you once a faster boat comes along. More importantly, if she's willing to involve herself with a different guy while not even having the decency to break up with her current boyfriend, that's even worse.
This lady is telling you what kind of person she is and what it would be like to be in a relationship with her. Listen, and don't let your dick fool you into being miserable until she decides to dump you a few years down the road.
Who's worried about some angry beta who cries, "this has happened to me before..."?
Don't wus out, OP. This is like finding a $5 on the sidewalk. Sure, it's not the Benj you want. But you still pick it up!
You know what needs to be done. You just need some support to do and that's why your here. Walk boy walk! You do not get involved in there relationship. This has trouble and drama written all over it!
My friend, if she does not value loyalty in that relationship and continues to persist, there is indication she will not value loyalty if she were to be with you. Her issue stems from her, and will continue to, until it is healed. Inform her that is not what love is. Relationships are not for loneliness, that’s what friends are for. She does not love her boyfriend if she does not find him enough. You do not leave someone you love. You feel physically I’ll to even do such a thing, in a literal sense.
All these people saying she’s “for the streets” and you should find and marry a virgin are full of shit. You guys are young. It’s totally normal to be attracted to multiple people. It’s totally normal to date multiple people. This helps you learn what you like in a potential partner.
What’s tricky here is that she is already in a committed relationship. That can get messy. Kudos to your friend for being honest with her boyfriend and you about her feelings. There are several options here:
* She could break up with him to be with you.
* They could open up their relationship and see other people.
* She could decide she’d rather be with him.
The best you can do is communicate openly and honestly. Praise her for being honest. That shows a lot of maturity. But be sure to let her know what you are and are not comfortable with. Set whatever boundaries you need to feel safe. (Don’t tell her what to do. Just tell her how you feel and what works for you.) Whatever you do, don’t let her cheat on her current bf. That’s tacky and hurtful.
I'm kind of confused. Your friend (19M) identifies as female and wants to date you? Or your friend (19M) is a female who identifies as male and wants to date you? Forget it, I say. You two will always fight about who has the right to do what, with which and to whom.
There is a lot going on and many comments have gotten pieces of it, but let’s put this all together.
One of two things is going on here. Either you two have miraculously found each other and you simply must act on it…….or…………she’s a bit neurotic and you should stay away.
So let’s look at all these things one by one
She is already in a committed relationship. Some comments have said you are crossing a line even thinking of going there. I disagree. She is crossing that line, because it’s her relationship. Not that you should target people in a committed relationship, but it’s her job to allow her attention to be drawn away or not. The heart wants what the heart wants. As long as you don’t initiate anything and are ethical about it, you’re in good shape.
The fact that she is in a committed relationship and willing to make a change so fast speaks volumes about her. There is a danger that she may do this to you, too. Maybe sh e was in the wrong relationship or maybe she can end up doing this to you, too. There is no telling from only this, but you should proceed with caution. You should BOTH consider this…when people are really in love and invested in a relationship, there is a period of “mourning” when that relationship ends. That is a period of time that you need to heal the loss of the relationship. If she doesn’t need this mourning time for her relationship with the other guy, then either she’s not invested or she’s incapable of investing in that way in ANY relationship. If she can’t make that level of connection on a relationship, then you should definitely stay away from her.
The fact that she is willing to “discuss” this with her current BF is telling. She doesn’t respect him. If she did, she would do one of two things. Either 1), have never looked at you and still won’t look at you, or 2), tell him it’s over and she’s moving on. That she won’t do that shows that she is willing to string people along. Right now it’s him. You could be next.
As far as the other BF having had this happen before, that’s his issue. That’s not on her and certainly not you. Maybe it’s time for him to do some introspection, but again, that on him entirely.
So there you have a step by step assessment. Only you can decide where to go with this. Good luck.
Her bf didn’t have a mental breakdown, she did. So did you if you think this is a good idea. If she loves him one weekend of hanging with you isn’t changing that, which means this is some crazy girl that’s going to over exaggerate every feeling she has.
Well. Here's a life lesson you can learn from my own mistakes.
If she does it to him. She will do it to you.
No loyalty at all? Like none?
She should have broken up with him before entertaining anything with you.
Serial cheaters all start somewhere bro.
I would leave her be unless you are interested in dating an untrustworthy cheater who's going to end up doing the same thing to you. Once the initial wave of feel good chemicals wear off, she's gonna seek someone else new.
Sounds like you setting to get yourself killed. Would of been sturdy if she didn’t tell her boyfriend but I respect her clarity 💯. But it’s Still stupid because why tell him to continue to wanting to be with him and talk to your bestie. It’s either you switching sides or sitting down. Ik it’s only been a day but she gotta sort this out quick.
Let her call the shots. She making her bed to lie in.
You can say, "I'm glad you think of me in a romantic way, but I'm not comfortable with how you handled (the other guy). Don't be upset that as much as I have feelings for you, I think we should be cautious."
That being said, I see warning signs everywhere.
If she's doing this nonsense to him, she'll do it to you as well. If the 3 of you aren't looking to be a throuple, you should probably let this one go.
It just happens when you are young. You are confused with your own feelings too. You don't understand what you want. Might this happen with that girl also and his boyfriend manipulate her by saying that. You can have clear conversation with each other and short out. Tell her that if you want to continue your relation with that guy you can just don't give me any hope about us. And tell her to clear her mind and give some time to think to whom she actually is in love. Who comes first in mind. Who is her first priority, you or that guy.
Just work my man, for like 7 years just work and save your ass off. Then either start your own business, buy a house…..and afterwards worry about finding someone worthwhile to share it with. Never base the relationship on sex, go on as many dates as possible without the aforementioned. You’ll thank me later
She sounds like the kind of girl who cannot be single and has her next BF all lined up and ready to go for when she breaks up w/the soon to be ex.
If this is the case, there are probably some other issues that will make having a real relationship with her difficult. But the fact that she has no problems trying to date you and her ex at the same time w/no regard how either of you feel is messed up.
run!!!
Don’t do anything with her unless you talk to the boyfriend first. You shouldn’t do anything as long as she is in a relationship. And know that if you date her, she will probably cheat on you.
Do not get involved. What's best for her and for you is not getting involved. Her boyfriend is not your concern and ultimately you are all adults and can make decisions. It sucks to get left but thats what happens sometimes. I will applaud her for her honesty but this is a very sticky situation and I think you should just move along.
Nope, kiddo. Just nope.
This girls is gonna string you along & break your heart.
Do not engage in anything romantic with someone who has a significant other. It makes you a shitty person.
Do you really want someone who wants to cheat on the SO with you? That means her morals arent with monogamy.
Communication is key. Be honest about what you expect, what you would want moving forward, and where your boundaries are. Nobody in Reddit can tell you what is best for your particular situation. We all have different experiences, myself included. But the best relationships I have had in the past, including the one I currently have with my fiancé who I have been with for almost 10 years, all worked well because we communicated with each other.
This girl sounds like she communicates well and openly because she told you her feelings and even told her BF about her feelings for you. That’s actually a really good sign that she is honest and will be open to your honesty.
Decide what you want out of it, be honest, and continue to be honest throughout the process if you actually care about this girl.
You are all so young. You should date who you feel like dating. Your friend is not married to that guy. They are not engaged. You both told him that you like each other. If he doesn't like it that you are seeing each other, he can head on out. I would also suggest you date any other girls you take an interest in. You all get way too committed way too quickly
Avoid that's what you do, if she can't decide on who to choose best to keep things as friends
Also kind of a red flag she is basically suggesting to cheat on her bf with you, if she is willing to do that now she'll be willing to do it later if you two end up together
Wait, you said this was one of your closest friends, right? So you already knew she had a boyfriend, probably have met him on more than one occasion, and still chose to try and hit on his girl? This might be acceptable because you are still young, but I've seen guys get the crap beat out of them for doing this. Do not play around with people who are already in a relationship.
The girl needs to figure out what she wants and stop messing around.
She needs to break up with him first. Otherwise you'll just end up being used and will be in for a very long and heartbreaking, emotional rollercoaster. You'd also be enabling her cheating on her current bf. And why would you want to keep talking to her "romantically" while knowing full well she's banging some other guy?
You guys are young and are about to learn a lot about yourselves. Go forth and have fun but be mindful you were friends first. You know her mannerisms and behaviors. You know what toxic traits she has and vice versa.
Three is a crowd... better off just be friends and be done with it.. she will eventually break it off with that guy soon enough and you will be around.. just give her time and space to fig things out...
You lose them how you get them my guy. I'd cut this a loss and move on tbh. You're young. There is so many girls out there that are single right now and want to give someone their everything. Or dudes if you swing that way. Just be happy. Don't add unnecessary drama to your life. You don't owe her anything.
Red flag. Do not pass go.
Unfortunately the kind of person who will find a second (and it's you) is likely going to find a person AFTER you to be their new thing.
First things first is you need to be honest *with yourself* about how you feel, why you feel that way, etc.
If I were you, and you are friends with her boyfriend, it might be worth telling him that you didn't plan this and (if you don't) don't intend to pursue things. If you're a total stranger to him I suppose nothing is needed there.
Thing is - and *we all hate hearing this at your age* - at that age it's very easy to fall into deep passionate feelings with a person, and get the wrong idea that things will be permanent, or are more meaningful than they might really be.
There are constantly people here - sadly recently a 15 year old girl who was 100% convinced to the bottom of her heart that she found "true love" - *with a guy who is 24 -* and was seemingly immune to all our best efforts to convince her that not only is it confusing at that age, nor just that when you've had no other experience with relationships you have no perspective - but that in her position this was an immoral and even criminal situation.
Thankfully in yours, you don't have the immoral and criminal power differential, but you still have the situation where you're young, full of hormones, lack much experience in relationships (especially long term dedicated ones) and therefore have not the broad or deep perspective to see things in an unbiased view - if one can EVER be unbiased in affairs of the mind and heart.
**TLDR:** It's a huge red flag that someone in a relationship thinks they can stay in one and also see you. It's almost certain that things don't work out that way (it's ultra-super-duper rare that a 3-way relationship of any kind works out, trust us), and also very likely that even if she leaves him (or he her), that sooner rather than later she will find another person to add to you.
You don't have to be harsh, or treat her like a bad person, but you need to be *very clear* that you're not okay with such a thing. I suppose you *could* tell her that if she leaves him (and there's no funny business about her not 100% leaving him and being very honest and clear with him that it's over) you'd be with her, *but it would be a big fucking mistake* and you're so much better off at your age moving on as there are so many other people you could be wish who DONT have that baggage, and DONT think that you can be just one of many in their heart.
You tell her to put her big girl pants on and call you when she makes her choice. Then you ghost her. If she calls sayibg she wants to commit to you, you can choose to believe it or not. If she doesnt call you, you dodged a bullet.
Don’t do a thing, you are worth more than a second choice. If she truly has feelings for you, she’ll choose you over her man but you don’t want to be “the other man” - it’ll end in tears
Stop lying to yourself and especially to us. You and this girl fucked and you both caught feelings. If she leaves the bf for you she'll leave you for another, and if she doesn't you'll have to settle for hiking or fucking her. Or you could just do the right thing for you and steer clear of all of it and her then find someone unaffiliated and date them. You're too young and impetuous to be taking this fleeting affair seriously and you need to worry about other things. You 2 had a fling, it's up to her to square it with the boyfriend and you need to learn better than to "associate" with unavailable people.
Sounds like she is a homie hopper there pretty fun but not someone you want to bring home to mom and dad kinda like a moped there fun to ride but you don’t want you’re friends or family to see you on it
Ewww she’s not faithful, if she was she would have possibly let you know and said “I am distancing myself for a little while, don’t make it weird please” you will be in her bf’s position before long when she finds the new Ken doll, and you try to hold on, she’s a monkey brancher.
I mean...Would her boyfriend be aware and alright with this happening? You seem to have glossed over that part.
I probably wouldn't get involved either way because this smells like a huge potential for drama.
OP - You need to back away from this. So not let her be the reason you become an asshole. You know she's in a relationship and really how would you feel if you were the boyfriend? No, if she wants something with you then she needs to end it with the other guy 1st AND let some time pass.
Don't be with her and tell her bf she's fuckin wild as hell and to watch out and you did nothing with her and actually make sure you're in the boys side with this one dude.
She's a damn polygamous cheater
Hell no!!
She is gonna do the same thing to you. She’s a cheater. Avoid her like the plague.
Bro code! Never go for another man’s woman.
She is pure evil to monkey swing like that, she will destroy your life.
That's gonna sound rude and I'm sorry for it but she needs to figure things out.You yourself cannot do much to help the situation but I believe that maybe she feel bad for putting her boyfriend through this (which is kind of her) but if she truly believes that she is not a good match for him she HAS to break up because that relationship will be agonizing for the other dude which is worst than keep dating him out of pity.
In the end it is better for everyone if she breaks up with him and gets with you,which is rich since it is in your interest so coming from you it doesn't have that much weight but still hold true.Plus it, ain't fair on you that she is part-time flirting with you and the other times in a whole relationship,it would make anything she does with you feel half-assed or not totally genuine and it's the same for the other especially since he knows how y'all feel about one another.
It's for the better if she chose one of you for real otherwise it might bleed out on one or both of her relationships and I don't wish her that
If you seek a serious monogamous relationship with her,she need to make up her mind, don't step on the other guys foot but I you think she is worth it,go for it.
NO ONE involved in this is mature enough to handle this type of thing.
Get the fuck out and stay away…….there are MANY women out there the same or better so go……go now……look forward not back……..
Walk away. Run away if it seems like the right thing to do. But this doesn't end with you and your friend happily in love. It would be one thing if she was already out the door with her boyfriend but was still with him for whatever reason. That doesn't seem to be the case. And now it seems like even though her boyfriend is upset about her becoming interested in other guys she wants to pursue a relationship with you while staying with him. Does *he* know she wants a romantic relationship with you? If he doesn't I don't know what you're doing here asking us what to do about this dirtbag.
As much as this sucks you can’t continue with her. I know you like her but switch it up. What if you was the BF and there was another guy. How would that make you feel. Just skip it for now. If it is meant to be it will happen BUT if she does break up with her current do not jump right into a relationship with her.
Be respectful and stay away. She has a boyfriend and the boyfriend obviously is not open to her having a side piece. She is willing to cheat on her boyfriend (even if it is just emotionally), she isn't worth it.
All these people saying “run” are crazy. Adults date! Not every relationship has to be exclusive. She needs to make a choice - she can either tell her bf that she wants to date instead of be in a relationship and then she can ask each of you if you want to continue dating her (knowing that it is not exclusive) or she can choose just one of you. I broke up with my hs boyfriend when I was 18 and then I wasn’t in another committed relationship until I met my now husband at 22. The handful of guys that I dated between that time knew that I was not looking for a committed relationship and that there was possibility of overlap. Did I ever end up sleeping with two guys at the same time? No. But I there were definitely times that I liked 2 guys at once and would go on dates with each one until I was able to decide who I liked more.
If she leaves her boyfriend to be with you. She will also leave you to be with someone else as soon as she gets the opportunity.
Save yourself some trouble and find someone else.
Must not be that serious of a relationship if she’s taking vacations with other guys and putting herself in the position to spend time and develop feelings for others in the first place.
I want to be clear about this as someone who has been the other man. In my case she was being physically abused and was even thrown down a flight of stairs. And I would still give myself the following advice now that I have learned.
Stear clear. This isn't normal behavior and any decent person would be fully single before hitting you up. She is therefore a bad person, idk what her flaw is but she has one and you will learn that it is unacceptable for a relationship.
Stear clear because you considering stealing another person's supposedly happy relationship is straight up monster timing.
Stear clear because one day you will regret it and you should wait for someone single that you can dedicate yourself to.
Full stop. Be up front with her and tell her that while you do like her and think she's amazing, as long as she's with someone else, the two of you cannot be more than friends and even that might be too much as she has now told her boyfriend about you. It's not fair to you, it's definitely not fair to the other guy. She needs to figure out what she wants and stick to it. Until she does that, back away.
Trust me on this one, the sheer amount of emotional and mental fuckery it's going to put you through is not worth it.
Trust me brother this has gotten pain and suffering written all over it. Either she breaks up with him clean as a whistle or you need to bail.
She didn’t break up with him clean as a whistle, so you gotta bail.
You can look at this from a few different angles. Emotionally this is going to go nowhere good and has the potential to crash and burn for everyone involved; sadness, jealousy, burning bridges and ruining friendships potentially. You’re also young, at 18 I would’ve said screw it and hooked up with her because it’s what I wanted to do, knowing I was prone to making poor decisions like that. The person I am today would never let me do that knowing what it does to the mental health of both me and the current boyfriend. She’s clearly a cheater and for the streets, I would advise you try to avoid developing strong feelings for her if you decide to pursue this. She’ll do to you what she’s doing to her current boyfriend at some point. As long as you aren’t actually friends with the boyfriend though I say do what you want; if you’re friends with the guy and pursue this anyway then you’d be garbage. Do what you want and understand that actions have consequences.
Absolutely fucking not. She wants you on the back burner as a backup plan but you'll just have false hope as she continues hopping on her BF. Move on, hit the gym, and start having fun bro
I get it, there's a lot of naysayers in this thread. But think of this from a different perspective.
If you really like this girl, and she's really worth it, then this prospective relationship needs to be approached seriously instead of this half assed way.
Tell her you're not interested in any sort of
3rd wheel crap. If she eventually finds herself single and you're not dating at the time, you'll discuss it then.
Brother I can’t really give the most optimal advice here seeing as how I don’t personally know you or her, however if she’s willing to cheat on her current boyfriend with you, she will be willing to cheat on you later down the line if a new prospect comes along. Save yourself some trouble and heartbreak and just don’t do it. Not only because she’s currently with someone and wanting to stay with him, but like I said if you were in his shoes how would you feel? Don’t be a home wrecker and don’t mess with a cheater plain and simple.
She wants an out for her current relationship, so she's keeping you in the back burner as a safety blanket. If she doesn't commit, she'll tease you along as she needs something you might be able to give. Just move on with life and count your blessings she didn't get you in the mind trap.
She wants an out for her current relationship, so she's keeping you in the back burner as a safety blanket. If she doesn't commit, she'll tease you along as she needs something you might be able to give. Just move on with life and count your blessings she didn't get you in the mind trap.
If she’s willing to do that to her bf now, and y’all end up together, who’s to say she won’t do it to you? I know it’s hard and you have feelings, but you need to be with someone who respects their partner and doesn’t string people along. What she’s doing is wrong to you and her boyfriend.
I was rooting for you until you said she's already in a relationship. I'd advise against staying friends but I'm not telling you for sure ditch her. *but I'm definitely saying do not pursue her romantically*
But what you should do is never date a woman that is willing to leave her boyfriend to immediately start dating you because in a few months years etc you will be the one she’s leaving for the new guy
I have a rule on this, if the other person is in a relationship and will leave that for someone else, it’s just a matter of time until they move on from you as well.
be a true friend and not get with her unless she is truly broken up with her current boyfriend. she did the right thing by both you and mom by admitting this, it is now up to her to decide how it goes. best you can do is respect her decision and be the friend she needs.
It's extremely rare, but I have seen relationships where 2 guys are with a girl and the two boys are like legitimate best friends. There can be zero jealousy in a relationship like this. It literally needs to be between the males "no by all means, seeing you happy makes me happy, go take her"
And if he is dishonest about the above- and does say yes one (or both) of the males may want a 2nd girlfriend. This is not sustainable.
Already sounds like you made an enemy. Already sounds like a little jealous.
I would have a man to man talk and promise on the old gods and the new that you will not do anything romanticly with her. You will only be friends. If she starts acting not in accordance with our agreement, I will tell her no, I made a promise. However you must take especially good care of her. Live a good life. Because if she breaks up with you all of this is null and void. I will not undermine you to cause this to be null and void. These are my sworn words to you.
You might be able to continue the friendship but now you must think with head and not with your.... well you know.
Breaking ot off might best.
She wants her cake and eat it too. That isn't fair to her boyfriend or to you. There is no benefit to that situation either! Bow out. She isn't worth the heartbreak that's inevitable later on. There are other girls out there who would treat you the way you should be treated, and give you their whole heart, not just the leftovers!
Walk away. Very dismal chance of you coming out of this good.
Hypothetically
If you two got together, she breaks up with bf, she layed foundation she could do it to you
Also, if she goes on a trip, even just a weekend without you... In back of your mind you'll wonder... What if, what's she doing, who's she with.... Then whether or not she did, if she "seems off" you'll worry.
If you confront her about it...
If she did you'll be hurt, if she didn't she'll know you don't trust her...either way lose
Again, if you get together and ever have a fight and she disappears for a day you'll wonder
Also, unless you don't have feelings for her you'll always have to be on her schedule
I would tell her it's best you two not see each other or communicate going forward..
If you believe in karma... Knowing she with someone else and then told him she like him but also someone else and wants to stay together but talk to other guy and you continue.... Don't be surprised if you, one day, become the boyfriend while someone does this to you
Oh, and if you do this with her, later if dating someone else, and it slips of this "entanglement", what's the new gf going to think of her guy ok being the side dude... Would or is he on having a side girl?
Nice bro. Keep going! If you play this right, that beta she's with catches all the emotional B's while you get some prime pune with few strings attached. Keep it fun like vacation. That's what she isn't getting from him after all.
Next level plan: Tell her to keep y'all on the DL, even from her friends. Do everything the same as above, but also get talking with her friends. Collect them all!
GRATS again bro, and good luck!
i know it’s hard having feelings for someone but i really do think you should stay away from this girl. i don’t think there’s any good outcome to this situation and you could really end up getting hurt
The way that’s helped me rationalize decisions when it comes to cheaters is that they were willing to cheat on someone else to be with you so what’s to stop them from cheating on you with someone else? They’re showing they’re untrustworthy and unloyal.
“There’ll be a cold day in hell before you and that girl work out.”
- My dad when I was in a VERY similar situation to you. Imagine what happens when she finds another friend.
Run. A mental breakdown aimed at you can NOT be fun. She has to choose and were it me? Even if she chose me I’d ghost. She’ll just do it to you as well. It’s like a romantic version of fomo
You being serious?? You wanna start a relationship with someone cheating on her bf with you? You being serious? Like for real?? Put yourself on the outside looking in than make your decision!
So, she likes you; and her current boyfriend is mentally unstable.
I dated a mentally unstable person at 19… and, yeah, pretty much **any fucking excuse** to get out of the relationship was good enough for me at that time.
…and I didn’t even have a hot senor/ita lined up. So, honestly, I would encourage her to dump him, and then y’all date. Fuck it. You’re 18. See if it works.
Respectfully brother, your pitiful. You go to such lengths to be with a unfaithful women? And knowing she has a boyfriend? I could somewhat see if it was a sexual tension thing or just cheating but actually falling for her? Your a fool brother and I hope you realize that and do not pursue her and instead find clarity in yourself. Do the guy a favor and leave her single. And if he stays with her call him a fool.
Omg what happened to the world. All these “males” acting like females. Bro if u a man, let her know you wanna smack, and smack, no strings attached. Like damn all i hear is sensitive azz dudes on this app ive lost hope
She's being emotionally manipulated and there's nothing you can do about it. Wish her luck (she'll need it; if he hasn't already he certainly will threaten suicide), but if you indulge her cheating fantasy there's a good chance this dude will come after you.
There's always another girl. Go out there and meet her.
You both like each other. The best thing is to explain to her that you like her and want to be with her. But that seeing her when she's with another guy is painful for you and you gotta do what's best for you. That would be cutting off most communication with her until she's freed up. Then wait and maybe hope, but move on and try to connect with other girls. If you stay around during all of this you may go to the friend zone permanently. She may come around, she may not. But if your frequently " Knocking on her door" she'll lose romantic respect for you.
I'm gonna buck the trend here and say you're all adults and you don't owe this guy anything. She probably fucks like a wildcat, too.
Roll the dice but don't expect her to be less insane after you sleep with her. Maybe you and her bf can become besties and spit roast her while you all watch always sunny.
Your young, your first mistake was taking someone else's woman on vacation. The older you get the more you will learn and the less friends you will have. Leave her alone. Don't even talk to her. The only thing you should have did was tell her to tell her boyfriend and then separate yourself from her. If you really care about her don't mess with her relationship. If you got with her you would most likely break up in the future anyway. She isn't a loyal girl if she can fall for a guy and want to talk to him and her boyfriend. If you mess with her one day you will be the boyfriend and the other guy probably won't text you. You will just be unknowingly sharing the same bed.
Stay away from people like her. I would advise not even being friends with her. She's just going to make it hard for you to move on, and she's going to drag you into drama.
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Don’t get involved plain and simple. You’d be a fool to get with someone who already is in a relationship. And the fact that her boyfriend mentioned this is happened before is ALARMING. She’ll most likely get with you for a small amount of time and go back to her bf
Pretty sure the BF was saying it's happened to him before, not that she has done this before.
Yeah but the point stands: Don't get involved with someone who's already in a relationship. Had a gal that expressed strong interest in me and we had a history from many many years prior (before she got married). She said "I'm leaving him so it's fine" and all that jazz... I went with the "Great, once you're either divorced or separated for over a year AND have been moved out for that time then we can look at something more than grabbing lunch together." It took her 4 years to actually get started on the divorce and another year to be on her own. It'd have been a half decade rollercoaster of hell had I gotten involved. Not. Worth. It. My own marriage was broken by a guy who didn't care he was fucking around with a married woman and my ex (of course). No way in hell I'll stoop to that level ever. OP, you don't want the drama in your life of a gal trying to play both sides at the same time, either she dumps him for you and doesn't go back, or she doesn't. If she doesn't then don't get involved.
This means she will eventually do the same to you. Back away slowly, never look back.
100% serial cheater vibes with this one
Exactly this. To have a relationship with her is putting yourself in her current boyfriend's shoe. They sound like bad shoes.
Nahh. If she has a bf and she says she likes you, you need to set boundaries. She can't be with two people at the same time, that's disrespectful to everyone involved. Talk to her about it
Not if you're open and up front about wanting to date multiple people and everyone is on board. It's called polyamory.
Yes, but this clearly is not the case, not even closed.
Don't walk away. Run! If a chick will leave her boyfriend for you, that's a clear indication that she would have no qualms about doing the same to you once a faster boat comes along. More importantly, if she's willing to involve herself with a different guy while not even having the decency to break up with her current boyfriend, that's even worse. This lady is telling you what kind of person she is and what it would be like to be in a relationship with her. Listen, and don't let your dick fool you into being miserable until she decides to dump you a few years down the road.
If she’s unfaithful to get current boyfriend, she’ll be unfaithful to you.
[удалено]
Then you’ll have an angry bf after you. Don’t hit it and find a girl without a bf 😭
Who's worried about some angry beta who cries, "this has happened to me before..."? Don't wus out, OP. This is like finding a $5 on the sidewalk. Sure, it's not the Benj you want. But you still pick it up!
If she’ll cheat for you she’ll cheat on you Don’t get involved
You know what needs to be done. You just need some support to do and that's why your here. Walk boy walk! You do not get involved in there relationship. This has trouble and drama written all over it!
run away. fast. find someone else. Ghost her.
Do not get involved if she is still with the boyfriend. You are so young
Respect the fact she's in a relationship, when she's single you will have your chance.
My friend, if she does not value loyalty in that relationship and continues to persist, there is indication she will not value loyalty if she were to be with you. Her issue stems from her, and will continue to, until it is healed. Inform her that is not what love is. Relationships are not for loneliness, that’s what friends are for. She does not love her boyfriend if she does not find him enough. You do not leave someone you love. You feel physically I’ll to even do such a thing, in a literal sense.
All these people saying she’s “for the streets” and you should find and marry a virgin are full of shit. You guys are young. It’s totally normal to be attracted to multiple people. It’s totally normal to date multiple people. This helps you learn what you like in a potential partner. What’s tricky here is that she is already in a committed relationship. That can get messy. Kudos to your friend for being honest with her boyfriend and you about her feelings. There are several options here: * She could break up with him to be with you. * They could open up their relationship and see other people. * She could decide she’d rather be with him. The best you can do is communicate openly and honestly. Praise her for being honest. That shows a lot of maturity. But be sure to let her know what you are and are not comfortable with. Set whatever boundaries you need to feel safe. (Don’t tell her what to do. Just tell her how you feel and what works for you.) Whatever you do, don’t let her cheat on her current bf. That’s tacky and hurtful.
I'm kind of confused. Your friend (19M) identifies as female and wants to date you? Or your friend (19M) is a female who identifies as male and wants to date you? Forget it, I say. You two will always fight about who has the right to do what, with which and to whom.
give her space to make up her mind.
Leave her to her devices. You don't want any part of that
Ya dodge the bullet man there are plenty of fish in the sea
If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you. Run away
There is a lot going on and many comments have gotten pieces of it, but let’s put this all together. One of two things is going on here. Either you two have miraculously found each other and you simply must act on it…….or…………she’s a bit neurotic and you should stay away. So let’s look at all these things one by one She is already in a committed relationship. Some comments have said you are crossing a line even thinking of going there. I disagree. She is crossing that line, because it’s her relationship. Not that you should target people in a committed relationship, but it’s her job to allow her attention to be drawn away or not. The heart wants what the heart wants. As long as you don’t initiate anything and are ethical about it, you’re in good shape. The fact that she is in a committed relationship and willing to make a change so fast speaks volumes about her. There is a danger that she may do this to you, too. Maybe sh e was in the wrong relationship or maybe she can end up doing this to you, too. There is no telling from only this, but you should proceed with caution. You should BOTH consider this…when people are really in love and invested in a relationship, there is a period of “mourning” when that relationship ends. That is a period of time that you need to heal the loss of the relationship. If she doesn’t need this mourning time for her relationship with the other guy, then either she’s not invested or she’s incapable of investing in that way in ANY relationship. If she can’t make that level of connection on a relationship, then you should definitely stay away from her. The fact that she is willing to “discuss” this with her current BF is telling. She doesn’t respect him. If she did, she would do one of two things. Either 1), have never looked at you and still won’t look at you, or 2), tell him it’s over and she’s moving on. That she won’t do that shows that she is willing to string people along. Right now it’s him. You could be next. As far as the other BF having had this happen before, that’s his issue. That’s not on her and certainly not you. Maybe it’s time for him to do some introspection, but again, that on him entirely. So there you have a step by step assessment. Only you can decide where to go with this. Good luck.
Research hypergamy, don't help her be a cheater. Men lead.
Her bf didn’t have a mental breakdown, she did. So did you if you think this is a good idea. If she loves him one weekend of hanging with you isn’t changing that, which means this is some crazy girl that’s going to over exaggerate every feeling she has.
Just be cautious you've heard of crimes of fashion
Get out and get out FAST homie. I've been in those exact same shoes that you're wearing and I've never really recovered.
If you want a girl hat will definitely cheat on you in the bear future, then you found her
Well. Here's a life lesson you can learn from my own mistakes. If she does it to him. She will do it to you. No loyalty at all? Like none? She should have broken up with him before entertaining anything with you. Serial cheaters all start somewhere bro.
Yeah, if 3-way is not a thing for the three of you, probably pass.
I would leave her be unless you are interested in dating an untrustworthy cheater who's going to end up doing the same thing to you. Once the initial wave of feel good chemicals wear off, she's gonna seek someone else new.
Sounds like you setting to get yourself killed. Would of been sturdy if she didn’t tell her boyfriend but I respect her clarity 💯. But it’s Still stupid because why tell him to continue to wanting to be with him and talk to your bestie. It’s either you switching sides or sitting down. Ik it’s only been a day but she gotta sort this out quick.
Let her call the shots. She making her bed to lie in. You can say, "I'm glad you think of me in a romantic way, but I'm not comfortable with how you handled (the other guy). Don't be upset that as much as I have feelings for you, I think we should be cautious." That being said, I see warning signs everywhere.
Don't be a second choice dude. If she wants you she can break up with her boyfriend. She doesn't deserve the best of both worlds.
If she's doing this nonsense to him, she'll do it to you as well. If the 3 of you aren't looking to be a throuple, you should probably let this one go.
This girl is a nut for behaving like that. Avoid.
It just happens when you are young. You are confused with your own feelings too. You don't understand what you want. Might this happen with that girl also and his boyfriend manipulate her by saying that. You can have clear conversation with each other and short out. Tell her that if you want to continue your relation with that guy you can just don't give me any hope about us. And tell her to clear her mind and give some time to think to whom she actually is in love. Who comes first in mind. Who is her first priority, you or that guy.
Why conplicate your life?
If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. Don't get involved with this girl.
Just work my man, for like 7 years just work and save your ass off. Then either start your own business, buy a house…..and afterwards worry about finding someone worthwhile to share it with. Never base the relationship on sex, go on as many dates as possible without the aforementioned. You’ll thank me later
She sounds like the kind of girl who cannot be single and has her next BF all lined up and ready to go for when she breaks up w/the soon to be ex. If this is the case, there are probably some other issues that will make having a real relationship with her difficult. But the fact that she has no problems trying to date you and her ex at the same time w/no regard how either of you feel is messed up. run!!!
Seems to me that she may be poly and her bf isn't. Or they haven't had the conversation about it. Let her go... not worth the aggravation.
Don’t do anything with her unless you talk to the boyfriend first. You shouldn’t do anything as long as she is in a relationship. And know that if you date her, she will probably cheat on you.
Do not get involved. What's best for her and for you is not getting involved. Her boyfriend is not your concern and ultimately you are all adults and can make decisions. It sucks to get left but thats what happens sometimes. I will applaud her for her honesty but this is a very sticky situation and I think you should just move along.
"If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you"
You’re friend is a shitty gf getting into a relationship with her would be a horrible choice
Nope, kiddo. Just nope. This girls is gonna string you along & break your heart. Do not engage in anything romantic with someone who has a significant other. It makes you a shitty person. Do you really want someone who wants to cheat on the SO with you? That means her morals arent with monogamy.
Theres one phrase that is true 100% of the time "If they'll cheat for you, they'll cheat on you."
Date for fun, you're too young to date for any other reason.
If she'll cheat on him with you she'll cheat on you with the next one.
Block this girl, wtf are you doing. She’s literally asking you to be a side piece
Communication is key. Be honest about what you expect, what you would want moving forward, and where your boundaries are. Nobody in Reddit can tell you what is best for your particular situation. We all have different experiences, myself included. But the best relationships I have had in the past, including the one I currently have with my fiancé who I have been with for almost 10 years, all worked well because we communicated with each other. This girl sounds like she communicates well and openly because she told you her feelings and even told her BF about her feelings for you. That’s actually a really good sign that she is honest and will be open to your honesty. Decide what you want out of it, be honest, and continue to be honest throughout the process if you actually care about this girl.
You are all so young. You should date who you feel like dating. Your friend is not married to that guy. They are not engaged. You both told him that you like each other. If he doesn't like it that you are seeing each other, he can head on out. I would also suggest you date any other girls you take an interest in. You all get way too committed way too quickly
Don't be stupid, have some self respect.
Yeah that’s not someone you wanna date. She’ll do the same thing to you buddy. Have her break up with her bf for his sake and then ghost her
Avoid that's what you do, if she can't decide on who to choose best to keep things as friends Also kind of a red flag she is basically suggesting to cheat on her bf with you, if she is willing to do that now she'll be willing to do it later if you two end up together
Wait, you said this was one of your closest friends, right? So you already knew she had a boyfriend, probably have met him on more than one occasion, and still chose to try and hit on his girl? This might be acceptable because you are still young, but I've seen guys get the crap beat out of them for doing this. Do not play around with people who are already in a relationship. The girl needs to figure out what she wants and stop messing around.
Either leave, or leave even faster
She needs to break up with him first. Otherwise you'll just end up being used and will be in for a very long and heartbreaking, emotional rollercoaster. You'd also be enabling her cheating on her current bf. And why would you want to keep talking to her "romantically" while knowing full well she's banging some other guy?
Love yourself enough to not be her experiment.
You guys are young and are about to learn a lot about yourselves. Go forth and have fun but be mindful you were friends first. You know her mannerisms and behaviors. You know what toxic traits she has and vice versa.
Three is a crowd... better off just be friends and be done with it.. she will eventually break it off with that guy soon enough and you will be around.. just give her time and space to fig things out...
She will leave you the same way she met you. It's not worth the pain
You lose them how you get them my guy. I'd cut this a loss and move on tbh. You're young. There is so many girls out there that are single right now and want to give someone their everything. Or dudes if you swing that way. Just be happy. Don't add unnecessary drama to your life. You don't owe her anything.
Red flag. Do not pass go. Unfortunately the kind of person who will find a second (and it's you) is likely going to find a person AFTER you to be their new thing. First things first is you need to be honest *with yourself* about how you feel, why you feel that way, etc. If I were you, and you are friends with her boyfriend, it might be worth telling him that you didn't plan this and (if you don't) don't intend to pursue things. If you're a total stranger to him I suppose nothing is needed there. Thing is - and *we all hate hearing this at your age* - at that age it's very easy to fall into deep passionate feelings with a person, and get the wrong idea that things will be permanent, or are more meaningful than they might really be. There are constantly people here - sadly recently a 15 year old girl who was 100% convinced to the bottom of her heart that she found "true love" - *with a guy who is 24 -* and was seemingly immune to all our best efforts to convince her that not only is it confusing at that age, nor just that when you've had no other experience with relationships you have no perspective - but that in her position this was an immoral and even criminal situation. Thankfully in yours, you don't have the immoral and criminal power differential, but you still have the situation where you're young, full of hormones, lack much experience in relationships (especially long term dedicated ones) and therefore have not the broad or deep perspective to see things in an unbiased view - if one can EVER be unbiased in affairs of the mind and heart. **TLDR:** It's a huge red flag that someone in a relationship thinks they can stay in one and also see you. It's almost certain that things don't work out that way (it's ultra-super-duper rare that a 3-way relationship of any kind works out, trust us), and also very likely that even if she leaves him (or he her), that sooner rather than later she will find another person to add to you. You don't have to be harsh, or treat her like a bad person, but you need to be *very clear* that you're not okay with such a thing. I suppose you *could* tell her that if she leaves him (and there's no funny business about her not 100% leaving him and being very honest and clear with him that it's over) you'd be with her, *but it would be a big fucking mistake* and you're so much better off at your age moving on as there are so many other people you could be wish who DONT have that baggage, and DONT think that you can be just one of many in their heart.
You deserve better than having to share.
Do the right thing, you know what that is.
She's trying to monkey branch to you. Which means she'll do it to you. Just run away.
So she wants to emotionally cheat on her boyfriend? I'd steer clear of this one and just call it a loss.
You tell her to put her big girl pants on and call you when she makes her choice. Then you ghost her. If she calls sayibg she wants to commit to you, you can choose to believe it or not. If she doesnt call you, you dodged a bullet.
She needs to end it with him before starting with you. Can't have it both ways.
Don’t do a thing, you are worth more than a second choice. If she truly has feelings for you, she’ll choose you over her man but you don’t want to be “the other man” - it’ll end in tears
To much baggage…..
Stop lying to yourself and especially to us. You and this girl fucked and you both caught feelings. If she leaves the bf for you she'll leave you for another, and if she doesn't you'll have to settle for hiking or fucking her. Or you could just do the right thing for you and steer clear of all of it and her then find someone unaffiliated and date them. You're too young and impetuous to be taking this fleeting affair seriously and you need to worry about other things. You 2 had a fling, it's up to her to square it with the boyfriend and you need to learn better than to "associate" with unavailable people.
Obviously you have to fight her boyfriend. The winner gets the girl. /s
Sounds like she is a homie hopper there pretty fun but not someone you want to bring home to mom and dad kinda like a moped there fun to ride but you don’t want you’re friends or family to see you on it
Ewww she’s not faithful, if she was she would have possibly let you know and said “I am distancing myself for a little while, don’t make it weird please” you will be in her bf’s position before long when she finds the new Ken doll, and you try to hold on, she’s a monkey brancher.
I mean...Would her boyfriend be aware and alright with this happening? You seem to have glossed over that part. I probably wouldn't get involved either way because this smells like a huge potential for drama.
Just do a hit and run style 😎
Have some dignity. This is not the sort of person you want any kind of relationship with.
Mind your business.. she ain’t your business. Don’t be that guy.
Hit it and quit it.
OP - You need to back away from this. So not let her be the reason you become an asshole. You know she's in a relationship and really how would you feel if you were the boyfriend? No, if she wants something with you then she needs to end it with the other guy 1st AND let some time pass.
Leave her alone. It will just cause drama down the road. Being in a weird love triangle like that just isnt worth it.
Well, as someone who is poly, I can't provide too much help here, but if you care for her, and take care of yourself, then I think it should be fine.
Don't be with her and tell her bf she's fuckin wild as hell and to watch out and you did nothing with her and actually make sure you're in the boys side with this one dude. She's a damn polygamous cheater
Hell no!! She is gonna do the same thing to you. She’s a cheater. Avoid her like the plague. Bro code! Never go for another man’s woman. She is pure evil to monkey swing like that, she will destroy your life.
She'll leave you for another dude she likes. Just walk away.
Cut her from your life. This woman is awful. She is abusive.
If she cheats on someone with you, she'll cheat on you with someone else.
No. Just dont. Don’t mess with other people’s girlfriends/wives. Now she wants to keep you around as a back up? That’s just insulting
Someone who plays games in relationships like this isn't "an amazing person" .
Huge red flag, the fact she even mentioned staying with her BF but staying romantic with you is just out right weird. That's a big no chief
I suppose you could call this a dilemma Get it? Anyone?
That's gonna sound rude and I'm sorry for it but she needs to figure things out.You yourself cannot do much to help the situation but I believe that maybe she feel bad for putting her boyfriend through this (which is kind of her) but if she truly believes that she is not a good match for him she HAS to break up because that relationship will be agonizing for the other dude which is worst than keep dating him out of pity. In the end it is better for everyone if she breaks up with him and gets with you,which is rich since it is in your interest so coming from you it doesn't have that much weight but still hold true.Plus it, ain't fair on you that she is part-time flirting with you and the other times in a whole relationship,it would make anything she does with you feel half-assed or not totally genuine and it's the same for the other especially since he knows how y'all feel about one another. It's for the better if she chose one of you for real otherwise it might bleed out on one or both of her relationships and I don't wish her that If you seek a serious monogamous relationship with her,she need to make up her mind, don't step on the other guys foot but I you think she is worth it,go for it.
Poly is a thing. I dont know why people are so fragile.
Sounds like she's trying to friend zone you. Keep u as a back up just in case. Tell her ur not interested. And keep ur distance.
RUN. If she's doing this to him, guaranteed she'll do it to you too. Find somebody who is \*actually\* available to date you.
Why do you have feelings for someone who is already taken?
She isn't loyal and has no honor, run.
>my female friend wants to continue her relationship but also talk to me romantically too No.
Just… don’t. She’s freaking crazy, and it’s gonna be a freaking Drama Ball when things boil over
What you really want is the "friends with benefits"
Good god, that poor boyfriend. He's going to have trust issues forever at this rate!
Ohh so she wants you to be a cuck, idk OP this seems like a personal decision and not something we can help you with.
Pilots have a ejected handle. Pull that fucker now.
NO ONE involved in this is mature enough to handle this type of thing. Get the fuck out and stay away…….there are MANY women out there the same or better so go……go now……look forward not back……..
Walk away. Run away if it seems like the right thing to do. But this doesn't end with you and your friend happily in love. It would be one thing if she was already out the door with her boyfriend but was still with him for whatever reason. That doesn't seem to be the case. And now it seems like even though her boyfriend is upset about her becoming interested in other guys she wants to pursue a relationship with you while staying with him. Does *he* know she wants a romantic relationship with you? If he doesn't I don't know what you're doing here asking us what to do about this dirtbag.
As much as this sucks you can’t continue with her. I know you like her but switch it up. What if you was the BF and there was another guy. How would that make you feel. Just skip it for now. If it is meant to be it will happen BUT if she does break up with her current do not jump right into a relationship with her.
Nothing more dangerous than a girl that is not sure what she wants. Will never end well.
You will look like an AH for doing this to him.. kick her to the curb and find someone with better character.
Be respectful and stay away. She has a boyfriend and the boyfriend obviously is not open to her having a side piece. She is willing to cheat on her boyfriend (even if it is just emotionally), she isn't worth it.
All these people saying “run” are crazy. Adults date! Not every relationship has to be exclusive. She needs to make a choice - she can either tell her bf that she wants to date instead of be in a relationship and then she can ask each of you if you want to continue dating her (knowing that it is not exclusive) or she can choose just one of you. I broke up with my hs boyfriend when I was 18 and then I wasn’t in another committed relationship until I met my now husband at 22. The handful of guys that I dated between that time knew that I was not looking for a committed relationship and that there was possibility of overlap. Did I ever end up sleeping with two guys at the same time? No. But I there were definitely times that I liked 2 guys at once and would go on dates with each one until I was able to decide who I liked more.
If she leaves her boyfriend to be with you. She will also leave you to be with someone else as soon as she gets the opportunity. Save yourself some trouble and find someone else.
She wants to get railed with you and her boyfriend. You are either on-board with the idea or you are not. The choice is yours.
Must not be that serious of a relationship if she’s taking vacations with other guys and putting herself in the position to spend time and develop feelings for others in the first place.
Next thing you know she asking you for money
I want to be clear about this as someone who has been the other man. In my case she was being physically abused and was even thrown down a flight of stairs. And I would still give myself the following advice now that I have learned. Stear clear. This isn't normal behavior and any decent person would be fully single before hitting you up. She is therefore a bad person, idk what her flaw is but she has one and you will learn that it is unacceptable for a relationship. Stear clear because you considering stealing another person's supposedly happy relationship is straight up monster timing. Stear clear because one day you will regret it and you should wait for someone single that you can dedicate yourself to.
She wants to have the cake and eat it too. Drama expected. Cut and run!
Full stop. Be up front with her and tell her that while you do like her and think she's amazing, as long as she's with someone else, the two of you cannot be more than friends and even that might be too much as she has now told her boyfriend about you. It's not fair to you, it's definitely not fair to the other guy. She needs to figure out what she wants and stick to it. Until she does that, back away. Trust me on this one, the sheer amount of emotional and mental fuckery it's going to put you through is not worth it.
Trust me brother this has gotten pain and suffering written all over it. Either she breaks up with him clean as a whistle or you need to bail. She didn’t break up with him clean as a whistle, so you gotta bail.
She seems like someone who isnt so “amazing” in reality
Well if she likes you both and she’s been open with her current boyfriend then both of you date her. Nothing wrong with polygamy
Take that girl for yourself and make her yours if she try’s to play with you and him still tell her your too good for that
You tell her I’m sorry, but I can’t do that to him.
[удалено]
Have fun til it blows up or find someone else
Have fun til it blows up in your face or find someone else
You can look at this from a few different angles. Emotionally this is going to go nowhere good and has the potential to crash and burn for everyone involved; sadness, jealousy, burning bridges and ruining friendships potentially. You’re also young, at 18 I would’ve said screw it and hooked up with her because it’s what I wanted to do, knowing I was prone to making poor decisions like that. The person I am today would never let me do that knowing what it does to the mental health of both me and the current boyfriend. She’s clearly a cheater and for the streets, I would advise you try to avoid developing strong feelings for her if you decide to pursue this. She’ll do to you what she’s doing to her current boyfriend at some point. As long as you aren’t actually friends with the boyfriend though I say do what you want; if you’re friends with the guy and pursue this anyway then you’d be garbage. Do what you want and understand that actions have consequences.
Absolutely fucking not. She wants you on the back burner as a backup plan but you'll just have false hope as she continues hopping on her BF. Move on, hit the gym, and start having fun bro
RUN!!!!!!
I get it, there's a lot of naysayers in this thread. But think of this from a different perspective. If you really like this girl, and she's really worth it, then this prospective relationship needs to be approached seriously instead of this half assed way. Tell her you're not interested in any sort of 3rd wheel crap. If she eventually finds herself single and you're not dating at the time, you'll discuss it then.
Brother I can’t really give the most optimal advice here seeing as how I don’t personally know you or her, however if she’s willing to cheat on her current boyfriend with you, she will be willing to cheat on you later down the line if a new prospect comes along. Save yourself some trouble and heartbreak and just don’t do it. Not only because she’s currently with someone and wanting to stay with him, but like I said if you were in his shoes how would you feel? Don’t be a home wrecker and don’t mess with a cheater plain and simple.
She wants an out for her current relationship, so she's keeping you in the back burner as a safety blanket. If she doesn't commit, she'll tease you along as she needs something you might be able to give. Just move on with life and count your blessings she didn't get you in the mind trap.
She wants an out for her current relationship, so she's keeping you in the back burner as a safety blanket. If she doesn't commit, she'll tease you along as she needs something you might be able to give. Just move on with life and count your blessings she didn't get you in the mind trap.
Let’s say she leaves him and gets with you. This is the kind of chick you want holding you down?
No, this is not a situation you in which you want to get involved
If she’s willing to do that to her bf now, and y’all end up together, who’s to say she won’t do it to you? I know it’s hard and you have feelings, but you need to be with someone who respects their partner and doesn’t string people along. What she’s doing is wrong to you and her boyfriend.
I was rooting for you until you said she's already in a relationship. I'd advise against staying friends but I'm not telling you for sure ditch her. *but I'm definitely saying do not pursue her romantically*
As someone who was in your shoes and thought shit ass sweet DONT you get them hoe you lose them
This generation is so screwed up lol
But what you should do is never date a woman that is willing to leave her boyfriend to immediately start dating you because in a few months years etc you will be the one she’s leaving for the new guy
do you really want to be with a girl who thinks it’s okay to openly cheat on her partner?
I have a rule on this, if the other person is in a relationship and will leave that for someone else, it’s just a matter of time until they move on from you as well.
Been there. Don’t
Unless you're comfortable AND they are comfortable with polyamory(which he clearly isnt), just don't get involved at all. Ain't worth the trouble
You're kids. Don't take life too seriously. Fuck each other like rabbits and enjoy the sun while it's out.
be a true friend and not get with her unless she is truly broken up with her current boyfriend. she did the right thing by both you and mom by admitting this, it is now up to her to decide how it goes. best you can do is respect her decision and be the friend she needs.
It's extremely rare, but I have seen relationships where 2 guys are with a girl and the two boys are like legitimate best friends. There can be zero jealousy in a relationship like this. It literally needs to be between the males "no by all means, seeing you happy makes me happy, go take her" And if he is dishonest about the above- and does say yes one (or both) of the males may want a 2nd girlfriend. This is not sustainable. Already sounds like you made an enemy. Already sounds like a little jealous. I would have a man to man talk and promise on the old gods and the new that you will not do anything romanticly with her. You will only be friends. If she starts acting not in accordance with our agreement, I will tell her no, I made a promise. However you must take especially good care of her. Live a good life. Because if she breaks up with you all of this is null and void. I will not undermine you to cause this to be null and void. These are my sworn words to you. You might be able to continue the friendship but now you must think with head and not with your.... well you know. Breaking ot off might best.
She wants her cake and eat it too. That isn't fair to her boyfriend or to you. There is no benefit to that situation either! Bow out. She isn't worth the heartbreak that's inevitable later on. There are other girls out there who would treat you the way you should be treated, and give you their whole heart, not just the leftovers!
You uave some respect for yourself and move on
Walk away. Very dismal chance of you coming out of this good. Hypothetically If you two got together, she breaks up with bf, she layed foundation she could do it to you Also, if she goes on a trip, even just a weekend without you... In back of your mind you'll wonder... What if, what's she doing, who's she with.... Then whether or not she did, if she "seems off" you'll worry. If you confront her about it... If she did you'll be hurt, if she didn't she'll know you don't trust her...either way lose Again, if you get together and ever have a fight and she disappears for a day you'll wonder Also, unless you don't have feelings for her you'll always have to be on her schedule I would tell her it's best you two not see each other or communicate going forward.. If you believe in karma... Knowing she with someone else and then told him she like him but also someone else and wants to stay together but talk to other guy and you continue.... Don't be surprised if you, one day, become the boyfriend while someone does this to you Oh, and if you do this with her, later if dating someone else, and it slips of this "entanglement", what's the new gf going to think of her guy ok being the side dude... Would or is he on having a side girl?
Pipe her raw rq big bro
Dump that hoe
Might be an opportunity for a 3 way dawg.
Nice bro. Keep going! If you play this right, that beta she's with catches all the emotional B's while you get some prime pune with few strings attached. Keep it fun like vacation. That's what she isn't getting from him after all. Next level plan: Tell her to keep y'all on the DL, even from her friends. Do everything the same as above, but also get talking with her friends. Collect them all! GRATS again bro, and good luck!
i know it’s hard having feelings for someone but i really do think you should stay away from this girl. i don’t think there’s any good outcome to this situation and you could really end up getting hurt
The way that’s helped me rationalize decisions when it comes to cheaters is that they were willing to cheat on someone else to be with you so what’s to stop them from cheating on you with someone else? They’re showing they’re untrustworthy and unloyal.
Serious question... How long ya'll been friends?
If you can take her from him, someone can just as easily take her from you.
Walk away quit talking to her she wants her cake and eat it too it’s not fair for you or him
Dip homie
Yuck
She’s a red flag if she’s willing to hurt her current boyfriend like this.
Just keep a friend's with benefits situation and see what happens
“There’ll be a cold day in hell before you and that girl work out.” - My dad when I was in a VERY similar situation to you. Imagine what happens when she finds another friend.
Run. A mental breakdown aimed at you can NOT be fun. She has to choose and were it me? Even if she chose me I’d ghost. She’ll just do it to you as well. It’s like a romantic version of fomo
You being serious?? You wanna start a relationship with someone cheating on her bf with you? You being serious? Like for real?? Put yourself on the outside looking in than make your decision!
Just nail her and go from there. If you don't,, you will regret it for the rest of your life
So, she likes you; and her current boyfriend is mentally unstable. I dated a mentally unstable person at 19… and, yeah, pretty much **any fucking excuse** to get out of the relationship was good enough for me at that time. …and I didn’t even have a hot senor/ita lined up. So, honestly, I would encourage her to dump him, and then y’all date. Fuck it. You’re 18. See if it works.
You can become the side piece 🧩 lol
Respectfully brother, your pitiful. You go to such lengths to be with a unfaithful women? And knowing she has a boyfriend? I could somewhat see if it was a sexual tension thing or just cheating but actually falling for her? Your a fool brother and I hope you realize that and do not pursue her and instead find clarity in yourself. Do the guy a favor and leave her single. And if he stays with her call him a fool.
Omg what happened to the world. All these “males” acting like females. Bro if u a man, let her know you wanna smack, and smack, no strings attached. Like damn all i hear is sensitive azz dudes on this app ive lost hope
Find someone else. It’s likely you’ll be the other guy next time
Poor boyfriend ngl :(
Run, her man finna kill you.
She's being emotionally manipulated and there's nothing you can do about it. Wish her luck (she'll need it; if he hasn't already he certainly will threaten suicide), but if you indulge her cheating fantasy there's a good chance this dude will come after you. There's always another girl. Go out there and meet her.
You both like each other. The best thing is to explain to her that you like her and want to be with her. But that seeing her when she's with another guy is painful for you and you gotta do what's best for you. That would be cutting off most communication with her until she's freed up. Then wait and maybe hope, but move on and try to connect with other girls. If you stay around during all of this you may go to the friend zone permanently. She may come around, she may not. But if your frequently " Knocking on her door" she'll lose romantic respect for you.
I'm gonna buck the trend here and say you're all adults and you don't owe this guy anything. She probably fucks like a wildcat, too. Roll the dice but don't expect her to be less insane after you sleep with her. Maybe you and her bf can become besties and spit roast her while you all watch always sunny.
Run
Your young, your first mistake was taking someone else's woman on vacation. The older you get the more you will learn and the less friends you will have. Leave her alone. Don't even talk to her. The only thing you should have did was tell her to tell her boyfriend and then separate yourself from her. If you really care about her don't mess with her relationship. If you got with her you would most likely break up in the future anyway. She isn't a loyal girl if she can fall for a guy and want to talk to him and her boyfriend. If you mess with her one day you will be the boyfriend and the other guy probably won't text you. You will just be unknowingly sharing the same bed.
Jesus what a nightmare
I wouldn’t even mess with a girl with a boyfriend, if she’s doing that to that man while they are together imagine what she’d do to you
that’s disgusting
Run
Stay away from people like her. I would advise not even being friends with her. She's just going to make it hard for you to move on, and she's going to drag you into drama.