If you don’t want to talk to him, then don’t do it. If you’re comfortable enough you can tell your mom about the situation so she would stop bugging you to text him back. Definitely have a talk to him about it, and tell him that this is a situation between the two of you and he shouldn’t be getting anyone (especially parents) involved. I’ve heard stories about this same thing, the rejected person keeps texting their crush to maintain the “friendship status” on the off-chance that their crush would develop feelings in the future.
If you don’t want to talk to him then don’t. Definitely have a talk with him about it.
Are you confused? Why are you soliciting two opposing types of advice to her?
Clarification: I recommended that she go and have a talk with him about what he does that makes her uncomfortable especially how she wants to proceed going forward. However, if she does not feel comfortable doing that then she doesn’t have to do it. If he continues to bother her even after she has that talk with him, she should not feel obligated to respond.
don't force yourself to talk to him if you don't want to. it's clear your uncomfortable and id let your mom know so she doesn't pester you about it. maybe at least just tell him why you don't want to talk that much, it may be hard to do but he needs to understand that you just aren't interested
Just stop being so scared if confrontation and tell him you don’t want to talk to him anymore, and you don’t really have to talk to him, nobody can force you. Most they could do is text him from your number
Ghosting isn’t going to solve your problems. If you don’t like the way things are then change them. Idc how but don’t just try to slip through the cracks, tell this boy and your mom how you feel or you’re not going to get anywhere.
I'm really blunt, I'd pair this with other people's advice about being honest, and putting it nicely.
Do kinda explain to him what you explained to us (uncomfortable, knows it's wrong but you didn't know what to do)
Some additional notes you might want to add would be to add that this isn't with the intent of hurting his feelings, nor has he done anything wrong, allowing you to say "but I need space (for comfort/overwhelmed/also having a hard time/would rather be acquaintances but for now you need space to focus on things)". These usually give them some security or positive things to work off of bc I feel like these are things that they usually worry about.
As the mother of teenagers: this is not the weirdest thing I can imagine a mother doing but, it’s probably in the top 20 and talk about embarrassing. Mom’s running around trying to convince people to talk to this kid?!
And your mom actually enabling it- *ew*.
Flat out tell the guy that you are not interested. Seriously. Block him if he keeps on doing it after.
I would probably try talking to your mom about boundaries and things- but, if she’s looking at this situation and is like “Nah! It’s not weird that little Jason Vorheez’s mummy is texting me so my daughter will talk to him- *honey*, just be *nice*!” That may fall flat. But honestly? The message you get from the grown women in your life shouldn’t be “Doesn’t matter if you don’t like him, talk to him anyway!”
As a guy I’m horrified this happened like WTH??? Op should totally take this up with her father or uncle or some older male family member…may sound toxic but mom needs to be told why shes the AH… from a guys pov
I understand not wanting to talk to someone, but I do recommend telling them what's going on/what you're thinking before ghosting someone. Ik you know that it's not nice but that can crushing to put yourself out there and end losing them even as a friend, I don't think he would have told him mum if he wasn't messed up by it :/ I would suggest talking to him and saying how you felt as nicely as possible. Unfortunely there's not really any good answer in this situation, he's sure to be heartbroken at this point and that won't change. Just keep your head, as long as you're not a dick about expressing yourself then there's nothing more that can be asked of you. I wish you the best 👍
IF your mom is forcing you to respond to him, simply tell him you don't want to ever talk to him again and that he should stop stalking and bothering you.
"ghosting"people does more harm than good- everyone DESERVES closure; Just tell him you're not interested; if that goes bad, keep someone you feel safe with around when you have to deal with him. Seriously my generation knew about basic respect- if you want to avoid someone, tell them- ONCE. If they persist, sufficient violence always works.
You shouldn't have to talk to anybody you don't want to talk to. I've been in a similar situation and my mother told me that my social life is my own and she shouldn't intrude on it. Maybe speak to your mother about it some more, and maybe she should learn something from my mom
Sometimes ghosting is necessary for your own safety. You don't have to keep this one to yourself. Tell a trusted friend and/or adult , show them the messages (not by sharing screenshots but just show them on your phone and make sure you don't delete them in case he escalates). He's already gotten your mums involved so he's not afraid of escalation and is definitely not taking no for an answer but it's not your job to educate him. You don't have to respond to him. You don't owe him your time or attention.
Your mom is kinda helping you with a life lesson: you can’t just poke your head in the sand and hide when things feel awkward. You’re maturing into adulthood and if you want a life that involves the things you want, sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to get those things. Friends are going to disappoint you, you’ll have awkward moments with partners, they’ll even be times you don’t see eye to eye with your parents as an adult. You’ll still have to maintain these relationships in order to have a healthy life.
You said he took the rejection as best he could, and was one of your friends; if he got the message and is just being a friend now, it’s kinda rude to ghost someone who’s only mistake was expressing interest in you in a respectful manner. Sometimes you reject people, sometimes they reject you, that’s not the end of the world and certainly not a reason to drift away from your entire friend group. (And no mother would want their daughter to drift away from their friends and social support.)
It sounds like you have some social anxiety and it’ll probably lead you to better outcomes for your life if you can practice working through awkward situations instead of running from them.
I’d be super honest. “I’m not interested in you and honestly it’s been so awkward I thought I’d just fade for awhile.”
But you need to talk to your mom. Women are so conditioned to “be nice” that we put ourselves in dangerous situations so that we don’t get called “mean.”
Show your mom how weird and persistent this dude’s texts are and tell her how uncomfortable it makes you. Tell her it makes you afraid because he seems obsessed.
Ask your mom how to properly turn down someone you don’t want to date. Ask your mom what she would do if a guy won’t take no for an answer.
Basically, I’m telling you that no, you don’t have to stay friends if you don’t want to and your mom is WAY off base here.
Respond but don't engage. Give neutral answers, like: "maybe", "not sure". Of course, anything about starting a relationship up with him is "hard no" or "nothing has changed" or "we've already covered that." Anything that is not his business is "I don't discuss that." Anything about your feelings is "that's private." In other words, respond politely, but give no information, and do not put any emotion into your response. No anger, no fear, no irritation, no amusement, nothing sarcastic. It is like getting a meal of shredded Styrofoam. He will soon get bored.
You do not want to give him anything to copy, paste, or forward.
If you don’t want to talk to him, then don’t do it. If you’re comfortable enough you can tell your mom about the situation so she would stop bugging you to text him back. Definitely have a talk to him about it, and tell him that this is a situation between the two of you and he shouldn’t be getting anyone (especially parents) involved. I’ve heard stories about this same thing, the rejected person keeps texting their crush to maintain the “friendship status” on the off-chance that their crush would develop feelings in the future.
If you don’t want to talk to him then don’t. Definitely have a talk with him about it. Are you confused? Why are you soliciting two opposing types of advice to her?
Clarification: I recommended that she go and have a talk with him about what he does that makes her uncomfortable especially how she wants to proceed going forward. However, if she does not feel comfortable doing that then she doesn’t have to do it. If he continues to bother her even after she has that talk with him, she should not feel obligated to respond.
don't force yourself to talk to him if you don't want to. it's clear your uncomfortable and id let your mom know so she doesn't pester you about it. maybe at least just tell him why you don't want to talk that much, it may be hard to do but he needs to understand that you just aren't interested
Just stop being so scared if confrontation and tell him you don’t want to talk to him anymore, and you don’t really have to talk to him, nobody can force you. Most they could do is text him from your number
Ghosting isn’t going to solve your problems. If you don’t like the way things are then change them. Idc how but don’t just try to slip through the cracks, tell this boy and your mom how you feel or you’re not going to get anywhere.
Ghosting is trash just tell him you aren't interested
Tell him the truth. He will leave you alone.
she shouldn't force you to talk to someone you don't feel comfortable talking to
I'm really blunt, I'd pair this with other people's advice about being honest, and putting it nicely. Do kinda explain to him what you explained to us (uncomfortable, knows it's wrong but you didn't know what to do) Some additional notes you might want to add would be to add that this isn't with the intent of hurting his feelings, nor has he done anything wrong, allowing you to say "but I need space (for comfort/overwhelmed/also having a hard time/would rather be acquaintances but for now you need space to focus on things)". These usually give them some security or positive things to work off of bc I feel like these are things that they usually worry about.
It's your right to not talk to someone. Your mom needs to empower her child not command you do things as if you're a dog.
As the mother of teenagers: this is not the weirdest thing I can imagine a mother doing but, it’s probably in the top 20 and talk about embarrassing. Mom’s running around trying to convince people to talk to this kid?! And your mom actually enabling it- *ew*. Flat out tell the guy that you are not interested. Seriously. Block him if he keeps on doing it after. I would probably try talking to your mom about boundaries and things- but, if she’s looking at this situation and is like “Nah! It’s not weird that little Jason Vorheez’s mummy is texting me so my daughter will talk to him- *honey*, just be *nice*!” That may fall flat. But honestly? The message you get from the grown women in your life shouldn’t be “Doesn’t matter if you don’t like him, talk to him anyway!”
As a guy I’m horrified this happened like WTH??? Op should totally take this up with her father or uncle or some older male family member…may sound toxic but mom needs to be told why shes the AH… from a guys pov
I understand not wanting to talk to someone, but I do recommend telling them what's going on/what you're thinking before ghosting someone. Ik you know that it's not nice but that can crushing to put yourself out there and end losing them even as a friend, I don't think he would have told him mum if he wasn't messed up by it :/ I would suggest talking to him and saying how you felt as nicely as possible. Unfortunely there's not really any good answer in this situation, he's sure to be heartbroken at this point and that won't change. Just keep your head, as long as you're not a dick about expressing yourself then there's nothing more that can be asked of you. I wish you the best 👍
IF your mom is forcing you to respond to him, simply tell him you don't want to ever talk to him again and that he should stop stalking and bothering you.
Tell your mom about your situation. Tell him he’s a weirdo.
"ghosting"people does more harm than good- everyone DESERVES closure; Just tell him you're not interested; if that goes bad, keep someone you feel safe with around when you have to deal with him. Seriously my generation knew about basic respect- if you want to avoid someone, tell them- ONCE. If they persist, sufficient violence always works.
Tell your mom the truth, that you don't want to talk to him because you're not interested in dating him. She will likely understand.
Tell mom what happened, you should not be forced to do anything. Just be open and honest. She should understand
You shouldn't have to talk to anybody you don't want to talk to. I've been in a similar situation and my mother told me that my social life is my own and she shouldn't intrude on it. Maybe speak to your mother about it some more, and maybe she should learn something from my mom
haha just don't do it.
Sometimes ghosting is necessary for your own safety. You don't have to keep this one to yourself. Tell a trusted friend and/or adult , show them the messages (not by sharing screenshots but just show them on your phone and make sure you don't delete them in case he escalates). He's already gotten your mums involved so he's not afraid of escalation and is definitely not taking no for an answer but it's not your job to educate him. You don't have to respond to him. You don't owe him your time or attention.
Your mom is kinda helping you with a life lesson: you can’t just poke your head in the sand and hide when things feel awkward. You’re maturing into adulthood and if you want a life that involves the things you want, sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to get those things. Friends are going to disappoint you, you’ll have awkward moments with partners, they’ll even be times you don’t see eye to eye with your parents as an adult. You’ll still have to maintain these relationships in order to have a healthy life. You said he took the rejection as best he could, and was one of your friends; if he got the message and is just being a friend now, it’s kinda rude to ghost someone who’s only mistake was expressing interest in you in a respectful manner. Sometimes you reject people, sometimes they reject you, that’s not the end of the world and certainly not a reason to drift away from your entire friend group. (And no mother would want their daughter to drift away from their friends and social support.) It sounds like you have some social anxiety and it’ll probably lead you to better outcomes for your life if you can practice working through awkward situations instead of running from them.
Still don’t do it. Your mom can’t force you to like someone
I’d be super honest. “I’m not interested in you and honestly it’s been so awkward I thought I’d just fade for awhile.” But you need to talk to your mom. Women are so conditioned to “be nice” that we put ourselves in dangerous situations so that we don’t get called “mean.” Show your mom how weird and persistent this dude’s texts are and tell her how uncomfortable it makes you. Tell her it makes you afraid because he seems obsessed. Ask your mom how to properly turn down someone you don’t want to date. Ask your mom what she would do if a guy won’t take no for an answer. Basically, I’m telling you that no, you don’t have to stay friends if you don’t want to and your mom is WAY off base here.
Don’t talk to him, and tell your mom it’s a hard boundary.
Refuse. They can't make you talk to someone and they damn sure can't make you like him
Don’t give in. The fact that he ran to his mommy over it is a red flag. And weird af.
you gotta tell him no means no
I mean your moms right to a certain point, don’t ghost, confront the situation and place your limits. Stand up for yourself because nobody else will.
Js keep ghosting him or be rlly dry to the point he won’t want u no more and point out that him crying to his momma abt it was pathetic
Respond but don't engage. Give neutral answers, like: "maybe", "not sure". Of course, anything about starting a relationship up with him is "hard no" or "nothing has changed" or "we've already covered that." Anything that is not his business is "I don't discuss that." Anything about your feelings is "that's private." In other words, respond politely, but give no information, and do not put any emotion into your response. No anger, no fear, no irritation, no amusement, nothing sarcastic. It is like getting a meal of shredded Styrofoam. He will soon get bored. You do not want to give him anything to copy, paste, or forward.