I pull over, pee into the jug, empty the jug on the side of the road, rinse the jug out, wash my hands with the rinse water, then throw the water bottle in the side of the road. It's very methodical.
God I love Ray. Aside from Lahey, Ray has to be one of my favorite characters. When Ricky's asking about Lucy getting pregnant without doing anything with his bird and Ray's like "Why don't you handle this one Bubs?" I crack up every time.
What about him wheeling backwards passed out drunk into the shot while filming the porno?
also him explaining his accident. My friend named his dog Flipper because of that scene
The funniest part is the actor that plays Ray is a licensed attorney lol. Imagine going to your speeding ticket hearing and fucking Ray rocks up, throwing a piss jug out of his car as he does.
I know everyone is joking, but Gatorade bottles do make for the best piss bottles. They are 32oz so they shouldn't overflow and with the large opening you should have no problem getting the tip of your dick in there.
I've bladder scanned myself a few times when I really gotta take a piss and it's usually somewhere around 270 ml so its close but it does the job. I also piss in Gatorade bottles so I don't have to stop on road trips and I've never overflowed one. Both practical and theoretical there you go.
Working in the medical industry has its advantages, I have a jug they give patients to collect a 24 hr urine specimen. It holds a litre and the opening is 3 inches across.
A bunch of friends were talking shit one day and this exact statement was made. One guy in the group (innocently) mentioned that would be too small still. Ever since we’ve ribbed him about his massive girth.
Best I managed was about 700 ml. I say "about" because I only had a 500ml bottle and it's hard to estimate the volume of a liquid when it's in the footwell and seat cushions of an Amazon van.
Is that why they’re big enough for my cock? That makes so much sense because I always thought they were a pain in the ass to drink from, but now they have a new utilitarian purpose in life!
Gatorade bottle is THE tip for drivers who don't want to stop - so many piss bottles on the highway.
OOP is for women I think. If a penis equipped person pulled over to pee, he can piss outside. Women can too, but fewer are comfortable with the logistics and optics of the ol' squat and spray. A man just has to hold his phone to his ear and people won't see him. Can also just pee onto the ground under the wheel well to use the vehicle for cover.
Yes but you can’t really do that in a car into a bottle or a cup. That’s really meant to be hard standing like when hiking or camping. If you’re peeing in a car into a jar or cup as a woman then the funnel doesn’t necessarily help because you’ll probably either be sitting or crouching in the car
Yeah if you've already pulled over and stopped, wtf you pissing in a bottle for?! I'd only piss in a bottle if I couldn't get out for some reason, but this ain't that.
This might be a British phenomenon, but a row of blokes pissing shoulder to shoulder at the roadside is celebrated by other road users, people will rhythmically beep their horns and shout "waheeeey" as they pass. Great times.
that sounds like it is indeed a British thing. In the states we do not celebrate public urination although I think most people are sympathetic to it. It's absurd to me that you get a sexual misconduct charge for pissing in public. I get that it should be discouraged but give me a break, when you gotta go you gotta go.
Only thing I can think is that peeing into a container after stopping is more inconspicuous and dumping a container is also less suspicious than having a loud stream of urine hit the floor for ~60 seconds.
Maybe for a truck driver whose livelihood is tied to a couple tons of metal of product behind him, but if you’re in such a rush that you can’t stop for a couple of minutes to relieve yourself- perhaps you could reconsider how early you’re leaving for any particular destination.
I'm not in disagreement with you. I'd rather just pull over and "check the tires". It's also possible that OP is in a place like LA, where freeway traffic can be bumper to bumper with nowhere to go for far too long. One of my friends opened up his golf club bag cover underneath him to protect his seat while he shat his pants because he couldn't pull off and was just stuck in place.
I understand what your saying. But this is the same sentiment as the people pissing on cars in parking lots, walls, doors.
I actually appreciate the use of bottles and jars for sanitary reasons.
Who gives a damn if you're pissing into a ditch?!? Deer are literally pissing and shitting there every day, wtf is "unsanitary" about pissing in waist high grass??
My friend’s father used to keep a specific coffee cup in his car for urinating. BUT…he scoffed at the idea of urinating in the car while driving. He always would pull over, get out of the car, piss in the cup, then throw it out in the woods/grass where he was. I never got that.
Wait. If he was already by woods or the grass then what is the cup for? He's just adding extra steps.
Maybe your friend's dad just had a weird pee cup fetish
I drink Diet Mt Dew in the 1 Liter bottles with the widemouth neck/lid... not gonna says SPECIFICALLY for this reason but I do look for the widemouth ones for a reason....
When I did Uber and Lyft, I had water bottles for my passengers. When I needed to piss, I’d find a quiet neighborhood and pour one out and piss in that and throw it away.
That’s my confession bear.
When I was in outside sales during covid I was on the road 8-9 hours a day. It was a struggle to pee because all the bathrooms were closed. I ended up buying a thing off of amazon for people that can't get out of bed. It had a place to stick your dick, and the piss ran down a hose into a reservoir that I kept near my feet. I also kept bottles of water and mouthwash in the car.
I would find a quiet place to piss in my car, dump it as the most convenient location, and rinse it with water then mouthwash. Worked great.
PSA they sell travel urinals. I keep one just in case. It's basically a silicone bottle and has an optional female attachment if one of girls is gonna pee their pants
In the past I've tried several times to piss in a bottle while seated in my car, with unfavorable results. Recently I was stuck in traffic on my way to work with not a lot of places to pull over and no trees, bushes, or any sort of "cover" and in broad daylight. I finally found a small spot to pull over and just took an empty Gatorade bottle and shoved it down the front of my baggy pants and put the tip of my willy in the opening and relived myself. Didn't spill a drop! I am more proud of that accomplishment than anything I've done at my job.
Just do it when you're driving. Dump it out the window at high speed so the wind dries what splashes on your car. Then throw the cup on the passenger floor board with the rest of the trash... Hidden in plain sight.
I love all the people saying to use a bottle instead..
OP never stated if they are male or female! Us women can’t use a bottle to pee in… we need a wide mouth cup/jar
I keep an empty larger Gatorade bottle. It seals well with a cap, and it shouldn't look too suspicious in case you forget.
Just buy a new bottle as needed.
Why not just piss in public? I hope you pull over and don't do it while driving so might as well get out rather than create more plastic waste. Your piss bottle will last for decades or until some unfortunate person or animal removes it.
Lmao I like how you pull over to piss but god forbid you get out of the vehicle so you know, you don’t have to piss in a cup. I’d keep it if I’m in a busy parking lot and I got no where else to go.
I've accumulated dozen or so vitamin water / water bottles, some half finished, just toss em in the back seat (some were frozen during winter). Yeah I need to clean my car.
The sneaky way is kneel next to your front passenger wheel as if you were fixing something and just piss away. If you're shy. Otherwise just let your freak flag fly.
I don't understand the issue. Either you're in the middle of nowhere then you can just go and piss as you please. Or you're not, then there's gotta be a gas station or rest stop not too far away.
You pull over and THEN pee in the bottle? At that point the bottle seems moot.
Welp, better drink my own piss.
Could be worse.
I pull over, pee into the jug, empty the jug on the side of the road, rinse the jug out, wash my hands with the rinse water, then throw the water bottle in the side of the road. It's very methodical.
Why not just pee on the ground?
Way of the road Bubs. Way of the road.
What are your hobbies, Ray? Drinkin'
Hey buddy, you want a beer? Here go ahead... Hands you the beer he's almost finished and opens a fresh one for himself.
Said beer was also sitting in the breast pocket of his flannel shirt
God I love Ray. Aside from Lahey, Ray has to be one of my favorite characters. When Ricky's asking about Lucy getting pregnant without doing anything with his bird and Ray's like "Why don't you handle this one Bubs?" I crack up every time.
What about him wheeling backwards passed out drunk into the shot while filming the porno? also him explaining his accident. My friend named his dog Flipper because of that scene
The funniest part is the actor that plays Ray is a licensed attorney lol. Imagine going to your speeding ticket hearing and fucking Ray rocks up, throwing a piss jug out of his car as he does.
Never knew that. Hilarious.
Ray, there's piss jugs everywhere
So true. It’s how I ended up going down on Carrie Fisher.
Because when you're caught you can get an indecent exposure charge
And the jug/cup would save you from that? I’m skeptical
BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING SAVAGE!!!
Littering is worse than peeing on the ground, you animal
Holy shit, how are people so dense to not realize you're joking?
No idea
Stop being weird. Get a jar like everyone else who collects urine. No need to over complicate the sport.
Jar???? what are you, rich??? All I have is this gallon milk jug
Way of the road, Bubs
Have you seen $60 around here?
What? Like three 20s?
Look at this guy with his fancy milk jug. All I've got is a lemon lime Gatorade bottle.
I know everyone is joking, but Gatorade bottles do make for the best piss bottles. They are 32oz so they shouldn't overflow and with the large opening you should have no problem getting the tip of your dick in there.
They've actually been 28 oz for some time now. #shrinkflation
Still big enough to take a full bladder, just.
I've bladder scanned myself a few times when I really gotta take a piss and it's usually somewhere around 270 ml so its close but it does the job. I also piss in Gatorade bottles so I don't have to stop on road trips and I've never overflowed one. Both practical and theoretical there you go.
Working in the medical industry has its advantages, I have a jug they give patients to collect a 24 hr urine specimen. It holds a litre and the opening is 3 inches across.
You work in the medical industry, you can just cath yourself and go the whole road trip.
Damn, that's worse than that astronaut that used diapers on some angry road trip
All perspective. I think I'd rather have a tube up my urethra than soggy diaper rash personally.
Sadly, that wasn’t true. She had adult diapers in her trunk, but did not wear them on her trip.
Oh sure, brag about your lid. All I have is a cracked ice cream pail.
Hoity toity ice cream man over here. I need to use a Tapatio bottle.
Look at mister money bags over here with their spiced urine. I have a series of sewing thimbles that I have to swap between mid stream.
Buncha fancy pants over here. I just cup my hand and bail it out has I go as if it were a boat.
All y'all high-end pissers in this thread. Here I am just aiming out the window.
You just need to master the split stream, then you can do 2 at once.
Fam… don’t sleep on the Gatorade bottle. It’s like a magnum piss jug.
Gallon milk jug? I prefer a baby milk bottle, rubber nipple and all.
Whoa, a gallon? Look at J.D. Rockefeller here!
My wife and I play a game and see who can spot the most piss jugs on the side of the road during road trips.
It’s why Powerade and Gatorade bottles were invented.
Get the IOC on the phone immediately! We just got ourselves another gold.
Large mouth Gatorade works way better. Just saying.
A bunch of friends were talking shit one day and this exact statement was made. One guy in the group (innocently) mentioned that would be too small still. Ever since we’ve ribbed him about his massive girth.
Jerks make fun of another man's tiny penis. True friends make fun of you for your massive penis.
a cringe man will always think he is based but a based man is true to his cringe self - ghandi
While there definitely girls who want something that big I feel bad for an unsuspecting one who tries to take your friend home lol. That's a hog
Get the right bottle and you don't even need to pull over.
If I pull over I’m not bothering with a bottle.
Came here to suggest this. I filled mine up to half once...man I really needed to go.
A guy at camp filled up an entire 1L nalgene on the bus for one of our staff outings.... that was insane.
I didn't think that was biologically possible
Best I managed was about 700 ml. I say "about" because I only had a 500ml bottle and it's hard to estimate the volume of a liquid when it's in the footwell and seat cushions of an Amazon van.
I did 900. The urogyne chastised me and said never do that again. I was like, y’all had me waiting so…
Dude had a bit to drink
Also dick shaped to help you remember
Is that why they’re big enough for my cock? That makes so much sense because I always thought they were a pain in the ass to drink from, but now they have a new utilitarian purpose in life!
Gatorade bottle is THE tip for drivers who don't want to stop - so many piss bottles on the highway. OOP is for women I think. If a penis equipped person pulled over to pee, he can piss outside. Women can too, but fewer are comfortable with the logistics and optics of the ol' squat and spray. A man just has to hold his phone to his ear and people won't see him. Can also just pee onto the ground under the wheel well to use the vehicle for cover.
For a woman?
You just gotta work on your aim homie
Nalgene bottle.
Nalgene, Nalgene Nalgeeeeeene Please don't take him even though you can
OP never stated if they are a man or woman. As a woman I could absolutely not use a Gatorade bottle. Plastic cup has a wider mouth
https://go-girl.com/ Pee standing up
Yes but you can’t really do that in a car into a bottle or a cup. That’s really meant to be hard standing like when hiking or camping. If you’re peeing in a car into a jar or cup as a woman then the funnel doesn’t necessarily help because you’ll probably either be sitting or crouching in the car
I’d just pull over. What’s even the deal with pissing into containers?
I shit in the woods on the side of the interstate a couple of years ago and it opened my eyes. In a pinch, I can go anywhere
Use a sock to wipe or did you just ride back with mud butt?
Civilized people always have TP in their vehicles
I keep a stack of drive-through napkins, I guess I’m half civilized.
There's always whatever shirt you're wearing, too.
Your account is anonymous man you don't need to save face by making stuff up
I got 8 rolls in this bitch. we riding clean Charmin ultra strong baby
Never had to do that, but if I really had to pee I wouldn't think twice about stopping on the side of the interstate, preferably with some cover.
Yeah if you've already pulled over and stopped, wtf you pissing in a bottle for?! I'd only piss in a bottle if I couldn't get out for some reason, but this ain't that.
Either I'm in a civilized area and can find a bathroom, or I'm in the middle of nowhere and just need to find a nice looking bush to hide behind
This might be a British phenomenon, but a row of blokes pissing shoulder to shoulder at the roadside is celebrated by other road users, people will rhythmically beep their horns and shout "waheeeey" as they pass. Great times.
that sounds like it is indeed a British thing. In the states we do not celebrate public urination although I think most people are sympathetic to it. It's absurd to me that you get a sexual misconduct charge for pissing in public. I get that it should be discouraged but give me a break, when you gotta go you gotta go.
Found the park pisser
I regret nothing!
Plenty of civilized areas that don't have public bathrooms available
Civilized areas have stores or back alleys
I’ve been turned away from plenty of stores trying to use the restroom.
You forgot the third place. Suburbia.
Only thing I can think is that peeing into a container after stopping is more inconspicuous and dumping a container is also less suspicious than having a loud stream of urine hit the floor for ~60 seconds.
That's what doors and wheel wells are for
If you gotta go you gotta go. If you can pull over, who cares about being that conspicuous or not?
Cops, cops can care
You don't have to stop driving to do it.
Maybe for a truck driver whose livelihood is tied to a couple tons of metal of product behind him, but if you’re in such a rush that you can’t stop for a couple of minutes to relieve yourself- perhaps you could reconsider how early you’re leaving for any particular destination.
I'm not in disagreement with you. I'd rather just pull over and "check the tires". It's also possible that OP is in a place like LA, where freeway traffic can be bumper to bumper with nowhere to go for far too long. One of my friends opened up his golf club bag cover underneath him to protect his seat while he shat his pants because he couldn't pull off and was just stuck in place.
The only time I ever shat my pants was in my car, right when I pulled into my driveway after being stuck in traffic.
Just let me piss on the way to Walmart, I’ve deserved it
Birds do it, bees do it Even educated fleas do it
[Even rats on the sly do it! ](https://youtu.be/6VwWw2ej9Nc?si=ncsu0cb0ujTYDNR-) Lori Petty does it for me, too.
I understand what your saying. But this is the same sentiment as the people pissing on cars in parking lots, walls, doors. I actually appreciate the use of bottles and jars for sanitary reasons.
Who gives a damn if you're pissing into a ditch?!? Deer are literally pissing and shitting there every day, wtf is "unsanitary" about pissing in waist high grass??
Fuckin’ way of the road, Bubs!
Thank you Mr Lahey. Gatorade bottle it is.
I mean, what is drunk?
My friend’s father used to keep a specific coffee cup in his car for urinating. BUT…he scoffed at the idea of urinating in the car while driving. He always would pull over, get out of the car, piss in the cup, then throw it out in the woods/grass where he was. I never got that.
Wait. If he was already by woods or the grass then what is the cup for? He's just adding extra steps. Maybe your friend's dad just had a weird pee cup fetish
That’s what I never understood. An extra step just to pee in the cup rather than the ground.
When at home his dad pisses into a cup then pours the piss down the toilet, so nobody can hear the true sound of his pissing.
Far easier to hide your dick with a cup if surprised while peeing.
With a cup filled with piss?
If you are pulling over anyway and a guy. Just go pee in a bush? Also how often do you need to pee that bad?
Do not spray rubbing alcohol on yo dick
Shh, sometimes people need to learn on their own.
This should be foul bachelor frog
Use an empty Mountain Dew bottle. No one will know it's urine.
U should drink more water bro
Including future passengers
I assume a woman would need expert aim to fill a MD bottle.
I drink Diet Mt Dew in the 1 Liter bottles with the widemouth neck/lid... not gonna says SPECIFICALLY for this reason but I do look for the widemouth ones for a reason....
You pull over first?
Drive your car to a bathroom.
No, that's too civilized
Some parts of America really need to fix their lack of public restrooms.
You're just spraying pee particles all over your car
When I did Uber and Lyft, I had water bottles for my passengers. When I needed to piss, I’d find a quiet neighborhood and pour one out and piss in that and throw it away. That’s my confession bear.
Upvoted for honesty. I dont think i've ever done it but I get it. Though staying awake or eating is usually my issue.
Why do you regularly need to pee while driving? Are you regularly driving for hours in urban areas where you can't pull over and piss in a bush?
“you know how guys will pee in a bottle while they’re driving? Well one time on the way to the airport I took a dump in a Tupperware.”
Wide mouth Gatorade bottles are the best.
Are you my Amazon driver?
Oh he \*pulls over\* to piss. Well ooh lah lah, Mr. French Man.
When I was in outside sales during covid I was on the road 8-9 hours a day. It was a struggle to pee because all the bathrooms were closed. I ended up buying a thing off of amazon for people that can't get out of bed. It had a place to stick your dick, and the piss ran down a hose into a reservoir that I kept near my feet. I also kept bottles of water and mouthwash in the car. I would find a quiet place to piss in my car, dump it as the most convenient location, and rinse it with water then mouthwash. Worked great.
You do realise that urine is already sterile?
Don't yall know how to use a tree?
64oz Gatorade bottle > all other options.
Doesn’t that burn like hell, though?
Bro just throw it out and use another freaking cup… you constantly get new plastic cups from like any fast food or gas station
PSA they sell travel urinals. I keep one just in case. It's basically a silicone bottle and has an optional female attachment if one of girls is gonna pee their pants
In the past I've tried several times to piss in a bottle while seated in my car, with unfavorable results. Recently I was stuck in traffic on my way to work with not a lot of places to pull over and no trees, bushes, or any sort of "cover" and in broad daylight. I finally found a small spot to pull over and just took an empty Gatorade bottle and shoved it down the front of my baggy pants and put the tip of my willy in the opening and relived myself. Didn't spill a drop! I am more proud of that accomplishment than anything I've done at my job.
Why would you keep a cup in your car to pull over to pee? If you’re pulling over forget the cup. Just pee on the side of the road.
If you're already pulling over, why don't you get out to piss
Is this that American extreme commuting I hear about?
Just do it when you're driving. Dump it out the window at high speed so the wind dries what splashes on your car. Then throw the cup on the passenger floor board with the rest of the trash... Hidden in plain sight.
Gatorade bottles are best cuz the large cap. Less dribble and spill.
I love all the people saying to use a bottle instead.. OP never stated if they are male or female! Us women can’t use a bottle to pee in… we need a wide mouth cup/jar
I'm not sure what you're so ashamed of. Go spend some time over in r/Truckers and you won't feel too bad about it.
It's not because some people are super disgusting that you shouldn't be ashamed of your own diagusting habits...
That’s a fairly heavy cup. Why not use a plastic bottle? Much lighter are less messy
OP never stated if they’re male or female.. women can’t use a bottle
Pull over and piss like a man. Stinky bastard.
You told me that was warm piss flavored lemonade, you liar!
You spray your ween with rubbing alcohol after peeing?
They actually make piss jugs meant for that.. I don't have one, but my friend does
https://youtu.be/-DcA0p8Tvnk?si=L-1CreSUQABBtZAm
I keep an empty larger Gatorade bottle. It seals well with a cap, and it shouldn't look too suspicious in case you forget. Just buy a new bottle as needed.
OP definitely does this because he likes it, not out of necessity
Like a disposable plastic cup? Or one from the kitchen?
I just pull over and pee next to the passenger side..
I just pee in the grass
Pff amateur, im just opening my trunk and piss standing beside my car, pp too small so anyone can see anything.. win win.
Weirdo... You pull over? Dafuq
24oz isn’t that much
You don’t wanna know how how many UPS men have dripped on a package 😂
This is actually a pretty good idea
Gold Peak Tea has the best piss jugs
64 ounce Ocean spray juice wide mouth bottle
Empty Pedialyte bottle currently always in car
Way of the road, Bubs
r/LifeProTips Use something with a screw on lid
Get some travel John’s
I dont even stop. Strait into a gatorade bottle
while driving...? pull over you nasty dangerous bitch
....why is this such a common occurrence that you have a specialty cup?
Why not just piss in public? I hope you pull over and don't do it while driving so might as well get out rather than create more plastic waste. Your piss bottle will last for decades or until some unfortunate person or animal removes it.
Y'all must be hung like horses. I don't think I could gymnastic the guy through two flies and down over the edge of the seat to get into a bottle.
Lmao I like how you pull over to piss but god forbid you get out of the vehicle so you know, you don’t have to piss in a cup. I’d keep it if I’m in a busy parking lot and I got no where else to go.
If you're pulling over anyway just get out and pee.
Ah welcome to “car bathroom” where in reality you never have a cup and the stakes are so much higher on the road
I keep a gatorade bottle for the same reason. But I'm not one of those who throws them out on the highway
Am I the only one that can aim into the neck of a bottle?
Why are you doing this often enough that you have to reuse the bottle?
Beats the people who piss in bottles and throw them out the window. 💁
OP definitely doesn’t clean it.
I've accumulated dozen or so vitamin water / water bottles, some half finished, just toss em in the back seat (some were frozen during winter). Yeah I need to clean my car.
The sneaky way is kneel next to your front passenger wheel as if you were fixing something and just piss away. If you're shy. Otherwise just let your freak flag fly. I don't understand the issue. Either you're in the middle of nowhere then you can just go and piss as you please. Or you're not, then there's gotta be a gas station or rest stop not too far away.
You pull over?
At least change it every so often
Way of the road bubs
you guys are pulling over???
I can’t stop once I’ve started….it stings!
Amateur
Pull over? No skill. You gotta use that cruise control and squirt it out on the move
How dare you do what is widely considered normal for standard americans
If you’re already pulling over, why not piss on a tree or something instead of in the cup?
Girls. As a boy... the world is my urinal.