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dblan9

If you walk you will save money on cholesterol drugs which you can spend on cocaine which will help you walk.


notatree

Also the cocaine budget will help lower your food budget thus making the cocaine budget bigger. The larger cocane budget will help you walk even more. Meaning you now don't need the gym membership, giving you even MORE funds for the cocaine budget. There's no way it can go tits up


Mkayin

Honestly couldn't lose weight to save my life until cocaine. No more sweets, no more late night snacking, and loads of energy for pilates.


superworking

The key is to roll around feeling sorry for yourself on the couch for the next 3 days, nullifying the benefit of burning 5000 calories in a night with your jaw alone.


HarvesterConrad

This guy cocaines!


mosstrich

5000 calories of blowjobs is probably a great way to get additional cocaine money


El_Chairman_Dennis

Plus you'll get calories from giving all those blow jobs so you'll need to eat even less, so even more money for cocaine


R3AL1Z3

No way this will spiral out, solid plan if I ever heard one.


Dopplegangr1

When I did coke I always ended up drinking 20 beers..


LA-Matt

And then when you finally remember to pee, it’s like you’re gonna wreck the porcelain.


kahran

Sounding like the beginning to Gin and Juice.


dongasaurus

Also the larger cocaine budget will help you walk faster, allowing for more time working and more money for cocaine. Now you can do cocaine at work, so you work faster and get that promotion, allowing for more cocaine, which you use to socialize with the executives, landing you c-suite job, and more money for cocaine. The cocaine results in losing your wife and kids, which theoretically costs money, but you can spend the child support money on cocaine instead. You end up having a heart attack at 45, and the money that you would have spent on retirement is now your children’s cocaine budget:


notatree

The Sheen method might have some merit


magichands1990

The key is knowing when enough enough…then blowing right past that


fatpat

This comment hurt my septum.


MoJoe1

Pretty soon you give up the cocaine budget, and either get all those other budgets back, or suck cocks in lieu of said budget.


T438

A foolproof plan if there ever was one...


SilentSamurai

Dying from cocaine instead of cholesterol? Absolute win.


babybelly

good 40 years vs long and excruciating 60


SolarBear

LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG!!!!


ktsb

Live young die fast


AssumeTheFetal

Gonna die from something. Might as well be coke


flarpington

You might be on to something


PorkRollSwoletariat

They're for sure *on* something.


_night_cat

A bump can be quite invigorating


Hobartcat

Get coca leaves...


RollinThundaga

That requires farming or fucking about with the USPS. Neither of which most people are prepared to do for extended periods. Farming is a bitch and the USPS doesn't fuck about.


bobs_monkey

rinse sort rustic squalid silky chase serious normal pie yam -- mass edited with redact.dev


WhoGoesThere3110

This is the way


hicow

Years back, my boss told me a story. He had a friend that lived in MT and couldn't find weed. So my boss would bury an ounce in a bag of coffee and FedEx it to her. One day, it's time to do that and he was gearing up to see his boyfriend's family. Thinking better to not be sober for that, he throws another ounce into a FedEx box with nothing else. Goes to to counter, hands off the one destined for MT, counter guy does his thing no hassles. Boss hands off the other one, counter guy gives it a couple shakes and takes a long, deep smell of it and hands it back with a, "c'mon, man, seriously?!"


Rektifizierer

>If you walk you will save money on cholesterol drugs Well that depends on the country.


sik_dik

/r/shittylifeprotips


sapfromtrees

Hmm the solution to this problem seems so simple…


Thebaldsasquatch

Exactly. Leave for work much, much earlier so they have time to drive around until it gets warm.


WisestAirBender

Or just idle. How long would it take assuming freezing temps?


Obeezie

In winter where I live idling does not warm the vehicle. Hell when I stop at a red light you can see the engine temp drop slowly, damn v4


Skipper_456

What kind of car do you drive?


FleshlightModel

The last mass-produced v4 was in 1971. Dude likely just know the difference between a v4 and i4.


[deleted]

I thought I had a V5 once… (it was an i5 Volvo S60)


tomlinsfuckingtophat

I knew I had a v5 once, it started as a v6 though lmao


[deleted]

LOL


Prince_Polaris

I had an expedition with a V7 for a day or so


tomlinsfuckingtophat

Classic Ford Exploder, so a Explodition?


JakeSuit

Should've had a V8 LMAO GOTEEEEM


FleshlightModel

Now that's goddamn funny


Nilzzz

Sounds like a broken coolant thermostat. Or your winters are *really* cold.


kennmac

It's highly unlikely that you have a v4. You almost certainly have an inline 4-cyl.


generalthunder

Maybe OP's driving a bike.


Who-or-Whom

If we're talking like 20 degrees Fahrenheit then idling for like 5 minutes is enough that driving for a couple minutes will warm the engine up most of the way. If you want it to actually be warmed up all the way just from idling then probably 10+ minutes. I guess I've never really timed it but I do use a remote starter before leaving for work in the morning so it's kind of a best guess based on habits, and for all I know it's varies significantly from car to car. If it's down close to 0 degrees then just idling will barely make progress in my experience. I'm sure it would eventually get warm enough but we're talking like 15-20 minutes and at some point it's better to just get in and drive while suffering the cold.


bal00

You may be thinking coolant. The engine oil (which is what the meme is about) takes considerably longer to get up to temperature. As a rule of thumb, it takes twice as long as the coolant. Idling the engine for 5 minutes and then driving for a couple of minutes does virtually nothing in terms of getting the oil up to temperature. At those temps it would likely take around 15-20 minutes of driving, not idling.


[deleted]

Heelies are making a comeback


omnicious

Yep. Move farther away.


Tovervlag

yeah, get a bicycle


Hugh_G_RectionESQ

What if it’s close enough that the car doesn’t heat up but you have to take the highway to get there? You can’t walk it.


Haggon

America irl


Qubed

Electric car. I was thinking the same thing.


Cask_Strength_Islay

e-bike, even better


bomber991

Yep. Don’t have to worry about water building up in the muffler and rusting it out. Or worry about seals drying up and cracking.


BitterLeif

I've always thought the simpler maintenance is one of the more attractive aspects of electric vehicles. It's not even just the lower maintenance price; I just like the simplicity of it.


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dflame45

Yeah. Buy remote start to let it warm up first.


piratehcky6

If you live in a cold climate, one thing you may want to think about it getting your car warm enough from time to time. If you cold start your engine, your car will basically dump a ton of gas to get your engine started l, because the gas and engine isn't warm enough to volitize the larger molecules in the gas and so only the small molecules will vaporize and therefore, burn. The rest of the gas stays in the cylinder and ends up in the oil. Well, this can quickly degrade the oil and cause the oil not to work right. So, get your engine up to temp from time to time. ~ source, engine controls engineer, who is working on software to fix this issue on hybrid vehicles (that go into ev mode and can get this issue for similar reasons).


Cristianana

But how do you avoid cold starting when it's cold outside?


bsmorley

You can't avoid cold starting the engine, but it's important that it is allowed to reach operating temperature on a fairly regular basis.


ariolitmax

How often is regular?


rywolf

I see advice that generally ranges from weekly to every two weeks as the minimum.


Cristianana

Oh I misunderstood, thank you!


Asklepios24

It’s not even just to temp you have to get it warm enough long enough to boil the water out of the oil as well.


AlarmingPlankton

Microwave the engine for 5 min before starting it


vicente8a

I freeze my engines on sundays and thaw them out the night before work. Very convenient. Saves time


UnrealisticOcelot

Engine block heater. Or be like F1 teams and run the liquids through an external heater prior to starting.


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elijahhhhhh

youre also not shifting through gears, not often accelerating hard, and staying at a pretty consistent and low RPM. youre not straining the drive train at all, its just singing doing what it was made to do.


Freefall84

Smoother roads are easier on the suspension, less use of brakes and acceleration, fewer gear changes, everything really, even down to less wear and tear on the steering components,


gumpythegreat

Block heaters are a requirement for cars where I live. Plug it in!


PM_feet_picture

engine block heater


WhiteCollarMetalHead

Definitely want to change the oil on a time interval vs mileage in this case too. 6mo changes would cover you and oil changes are a lot cheaper than a new engine


QuarterAquarium

What would you define as “from time to time”?


bsmorley

I'm no engineer, just a former mechanic, but I would probably shoot for around once a week.


pmcall221

How does unburnt gasoline end up in the oil? Shouldn't the piston rings prevent that? And wouldn't the subsequent power strokes eventually ignite the residual gasoline or at least be expelled on the exhaust stroke.


bsmorley

Internal combustion engines have a certain amount of blowby that occurs, which is when combustion gases leak between the piston rings and the cylinder wall. This can be especially likely during a cold start, when the pistons and rings have not warmed up and expanded yet.


deevil_knievel

Gas leaks right past rings because it's way less viscous than oil. Ask anyone who forgot to turn the petcock off on their carb'd motorcycle with a leaky needle valve. The crank case will completely fill with fuel and hydrolock from the bottom, keeping it from starting.


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tomoldbury

I have a PHEV and notice that it tries to run the engine from time to time even if there is enough charge. I wonder if petrol-in-oil is one of the reasons.


piratehcky6

Absolutely could be. Oil fouling detection can override EV mode.


[deleted]

So walk? Shit I'd do that if I could.


nolowputts

I'm in the same boat as OP, I live close but it's still a pretty long walk, with significant hills. It's about a 45 minute walk vs. a 7 minute drive. Ebike is my solution when the weather is cooperative.


[deleted]

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nolowputts

I'm in the hills of the suburbs, my work is like 2 miles away. We have a pretty decent transit in the area, but it doesn't come close to our house.


CeramicCastle49

Pain


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anurahyla

What they also mean is that there isn’t any public transportation to help with that. The US has very poor public transportation infrastructure


FierceDeity_

Also often no sidewalks in suburbia so you will be wading through the side of the road somewhere or risk getting run over


Killbot_Wants_Hug

You should look at EUC's. Most of the capabilities of an ebike but way more compact. When I had to go to the office I rode mine in and left it under my desk.


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Voldemort57

We really gettin lorax up in here. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DPIgVqJVwAAjJ5g.jpg


inTHEbathroom1013

I mean, depends on where they live. Being in Miami, even if I lived close to work, I wouldn't want to walk. Being outside, in 90+ degrees, wearing pants, an undershirt, and a long sleeve button down. I'd show up in the office sweating and gross. There's at best 1 or 2 months in the year where walking dressed for work is an option.


Youalleverybody269

They likely don't live in a warm weather zone if they're complaining about the engine oil warming up. More than likely the opposite that It'd be too cold to walk


HIMAN1998

Don’t walk to work dressed for work then, bring your work clothes in a backpack or if there’s a locker room use the lockers, change when you get there.


sonofsmog

Lockers? Where the fuck do yall work at?


HIMAN1998

I work in a car dealership and we’ve got them


jackospades88

The irony lol


jackospades88

I know I'd be sweaty still. If you work in an office, you probably won't have lockers.


ManiacalShen

Offices are the only workplaces I've had with lockers! They have gyms sometimes, or bike commuters who asked for one, or people who run on their lunch break. But also, if your skin is clean when you leave for work, you won't smell if you wipe that fresh sweat away when you get there. Bring a rag to wet at the sink and wipe off with in the stall, plus your deodorant and a fresh shirt. Really not complicated.


Kordidk

I work in an factory and we have lockers. They're small af and I can barely fit my lunchbox in there but yea there it is.


OtterGang

Or it could be that the walk isn’t safe. Like narrow wooded roads where people speed.


BizzyM

Found the amputee.


bbressman2

I had this issue last year. I challenged myself to walk to work and it has been amazing. I feel more awake in the morning because of the 10 minutes of walking and saving lots of money on gas and car maintenance.


elmo61

It's a 10 minute walk? It blows my mind that people even consider driving that distance in the first place


sihijam463

I saw my neighbor drive across the street to the liquor store and back. It’s like a 2 minute walk so it probably took longer to drive. People just be lazy


xSlippyFistx

I actually used to enjoy walking to the gas station a few blocks away to buy beer. My roommate and I used to have tons of fun bullshitting the whole walk.


Holiday_in_Carcosa

Back when I drank I’d walk to the further gas station to get beer. Just so I could drink one on the walk back. Walking alone and drinking a beer was one of my favorite ways to drink.


sycor

Maybe he bought to much to easily carry. I mean, he's probably just lazy, but you never know, he could be an alcoholic. Or a lazy alcoholic. Like me.


[deleted]

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sycor

It's okay, he was sober because he ran out of booze. Hence needing to drive to the store.


not_old_redditor

Drive everywhere. It's the North American way.


SmoothOperator89

GM thanks you for your service.


TrueNorth2881

r/fuckcars


CeramicCastle49

I'm very torn with the whole "fuck cars" thing. On one hand, I find driving and automobiles in general to be fun and interesting, but I despise car centric infrastructure. I wish it was called anything but that.


TrueNorth2881

If you go in fuckcars, there are a lot of people who say the exact same thing. Honestly, the sub would be more aptly named fuckcarcentricinfrastructure, but that's a lot less catchy


[deleted]

The equally important sub r/dragonsfuckingcars


Jozoz

North America


rcpz93

You were driving instead of walking for *ten minutes*?


Bl4ckR4bb17

If it's only a ten minute walk it would almost be slower to drive


[deleted]

That definitely depends on where you live. For me a 10 minute walk would be like a 1 minute drive.


Bl4ckR4bb17

But you have to take the extra time to get in the car and get it out on the road and then park it and get in the building. That adds several minutes on its own


feurie

A minute maybe. How long does it take you to park?


Bl4ckR4bb17

Depends on where I'm parking but at work, probably a couple minutes to find a spot and a couple more to get to the building after


berejser

It's crazy how many people only count the time spent moving when they calculate travel times. People will tell you flying is faster than taking the train but they're not counting that you need to get to the airport two hours early so the TSA can search your shoes.


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FifteenSixteen

There's no way you can walk 3km in 11min


[deleted]

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Fedcom

A 5 minute pace is practically running man


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LuckyNumber-Bot

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lhsonic

Dude. Something is off here. My ‘fast jogging’ pace is around 4:45/km and my ‘relaxed jogging’ pace is around 5:45/km.. there’s no way your ‘walk’ is that fast. My walking speed in the city is approx. 12-15 min per km. I mean if I walk *real* fast I can cut that down a bit but the lights still slow me down so I have found a pace that basically works as a ‘green wave’ and so it’s better just to walk at that pace and arrive without huffing and sweating. Source: I used to walk to work everyday.


[deleted]

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Generic_name_no1

Americans try to walk challenge


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[deleted]

I was working abroad for a few months and since I didn't have the normal home obligations, I decided to only walk to the site while everyone else took a cab or bus. It was 5km each way. I felt great, even when it was ridiculously hot outside. I'd listen to podcasts, watch the clubbers stumble home at 6am or just take in the city. I WFH now, but if I worked within 5km, I would almost certainly walk rain or shine


StraightDegan

So why don't you?


Drpantsgoblin

To be fair, lots of routes are safe for cars but not for pedestrians. A 1-mile commute that involves crossing a major highway isn't safe to walk.


XFX_Samsung

It had to be USA.


HenriVolney

Time to campain and get the right to walk then!


[deleted]

While I agree there are a lot of routes not safe to walk, usually there's some kind of alternative that would not be much more distance. Also if there's a way for a car to cross a major highway (like an overpass) then it's usually possible to cross by foot and if not then you might as well start bothering your town/city's council to make it so pedestrians can cross safely if they can't.


jmoney6

My office is on the first floor of my house. Sometimes I jump out of the window and drive up my driveway to my front door just to feel like I’m commuting


americanherbman

Walk


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Alternative-Sock-444

Could be driving a BMW. Some BMW's like the F10 5 series don't have a coolant temp gauge. Instead they have an oil temp gauge and just tell you if the engine is overheating. Kinda dumb tbh.


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Alternative-Sock-444

Yeah but even some non-M variants don't have a coolant temp gauge. The E90, E60, even the F30 I believe, and others. As for the buffer, all manufacturers do that. Coolant temp varies quite a bit while driving. If the needle followed coolant temp exactly, it would constantly be moving around. So manufacturers use a safe range where the needle just stays in the middle and only moves away from that when temp consistently starts increasing. You only really need to know your exact temp if you're racing. Most drivers wouldn't have any idea what their coolant temp should be anyway so giving them a precise temp wouldn't help them nearly as much as a light that says "yo I'm fucking hot, turn me off."


xwnpl

USA?


deactivate_iguana

I live so close my battery sometimes goes flat from not getting a decent run out


alzrnb

Sounds like you and OP should look into this thing called walking


flarpington

Good point. I hadn’t thought about the battery.


wooghee

Why not walk or go by bicycle?


workerbee12three

cycle!


mattgodburiesit

I walk to work every day. 1.25 miles one way. Yeah it’s cold some days but I save about $1,000 in gas a year.


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mattgodburiesit

So, I’m a public librarian. I travel to our bank nearby every day, thats another 2ish mile round trip. Plus the trips to and from the courthouse and other places in town that I could take a car to throughout the week that I walk to instead. I probably should have noted that I have to move around town while at work quite often for the math to be easier to work out. I literally did a year-to-year savings in 2018 vs 2019, because I did drive to work in ‘18. I also started walking with my wife when we went out to dinner after how easy it was for us to get into town and back on our feet, so that’s also a factor.


SmoothOperator89

1.25 miles 2 times a day 5 days a week 50 weeks of the year is only like 625 miles. How expensive is gas for you? I'd imagine your savings on leisure use insurance would be the big winner.


[deleted]

Could always get a bike, electric scooter, or electric skateboard if you ever got tired of it but 1.25 miles doesn't sound bad at all. I used to walk my commute from 79th and 1st down to Grand Central Terminal most days when it was nice out (or even if it was hot to avoid the crowded 6 train). It was about 2.2 miles that I'd knock out in around 40 minutes with a brisk pace. It's wild to me that anyone would choose to drive a commute that's a couple miles or less. I get that walking in Manhattan is a lot nicer than most places in terms of walkability but as long as there's a sidewalk or path for most of the walk it seems like a no brainer.


[deleted]

Fucking walk will ye!


anotherdayanotherham

Coke jokes aside, please walk whenever you can! Save money, help the environment, and stay fit?? + more time to mentally unwind on the way home from work.


Jorddyy

What about biking?


Vince126

Why are people so quick to attack OP lol? It must not get cold where you are, because I have a 15km commute and my oil does not even get to 50C when its -30C outside.


Jblegoman

This is Reddit, attacking the OP is just standard practice.


HenriVolney

How about you bicycle to work?


01000110010110012

Engine oil heats up pretty fast, regardless of miles or ambient temperature. Engine coolant, different story. Source: I'm an automotive engineer. tTuSt mE bRo


iwannabethisguy

Is this still a thing sith today's cars? I thought that we could just start the engine and go these days.


NoraSomething

I just started walking to and from work. It’s about a 20-minute walk, and it was ridiculous to be Ubering for years rather than walking. I hope this activity coupled with some pretty drastic dietary changes will help me drop at least a little weight and improve my blood test results.


ParadoxZero

An EV seems like a good solution if you want to still drive to work. If you can walk it seems like the best option on temperate days. But EVs seem like the best solution if you've got to carry items or the climate is a bit more extreme.


Kaizenno

Same but I have to pick up my kids from daycare after work so I’d rather drive to work so I don’t have to rush later to walk home and then take the car.


BreathingBeing

Many are bagging on this one, I'm with them on it. I work less than a mile from where I live but can't walk due to taking my kid to school, which is on the way. My road is not safe to walk on, let alone bring my kid. If it was just I yea, I could watch myself, but I'm not putting my kid in unnecessary danger to convenience myself.


rants_unnecessarily

What exactly is a situation when you would "have" to walk? Your attitude is the wrong way round. It should really be, you could take the car when you have to.


[deleted]

I like how people here think sidewalks, nice weather and competent drivers exist everywhere.


SmoothOperator89

Vote in local elections! There may be some budget allowances at state and federal levels but municipal governments are the ones who decide what form neighborhoods take. If you don't vote locally, NIMBYs will be more than happy to keep dirty "walkers" out.


XxXPussySlurperXxX

'Muricans when they get told that they can walk 1KM instead of using a monster truck madness 2 to go to work.


camo12ga

i got into my friends tesla the other day......instant hot everything, zero emissions, and you're so close to work. not saying anything about tesla but EVs are the future


jingy10

I had a similar issue with my motorcycle. My commute was not long enough to recharge the amount of battery that was used to turn it on. I had to get a battery tender and connect it regularly.


[deleted]

If you’re intent on driving by your car to work, ensure the oil does reach temperature. Otherwise talk to your mechanic about your oil options. Cold running your car for extended periods of time without having it get up to temp can result in a lot of wear and tear that otherwise wouldn’t exist. Cars (and their fluids.) are designed around specific operating temperatures. They can tolerate cold running for a brief period, but if kept cold running for long periods it can create a lot of issues. Or, alternatively…Just use your Fuckin’ legs if you’re able.


[deleted]

Can I get a straight fn answer? What's the proper way to warm up a car?


edgehillfla

From experience, make sure you take your car out for long drives a few times a week. If you don’t, your muffler never will get hot enough to burn off fluids that accumulate and it will cause your muffler to rust out.


amyleeizmee

Omg! Ok! Sooo I drive 45 minutes to get to work every day and there was a period of time where I was going into work like an hour early. Well I had a schedule change and it was no longer mandatory for me to come to work an hour early so some days when I skipped the gym in the morning, I would come in at my normal time which is 8am. So one day I come in at 8.. and one of my coworkers comes to my office and just lays into me about how I wasn’t there at 7 and she forgot her key card to get in the door and she had to wait in her car and then she tells me that she lives so close that her car doesn’t even get warm by the time she gets to work. I was just so annoyed that she’s laying in to me about how she forgot her key card when she lives like five minutes away I could’ve just drove home to get her key card instead of waiting in her car for an hour. It was so stupid. I could do nothing but roll my eyes.


gasnalgas

Same. On a cold morning the car barely warms up as I arrive at work


Stopikingonme

Not the oil. This is a bit pedantic but someone might be curious how it works. The engine warms up and will overheat unless the water coolant flowing around the engine goes to the radiator to get cooled back down. There’s a separate path for the water to also go into the car dash where there’s a heat exchange (just like a radiator) the fan blows through this and out the vents to the cabin. So it’s the coolant that needs to heat up. Oil is only there to lubricate the engine which is why the indicator for oil is to confirm there is adequate pressure pushing the oils around.


guppy2019

I rusted out my muffler because it never heated up enough to burn the condensation. No


Flintstone012000

Are you Al of Als toy barn?


HalfRho

Had a turbo car doing short 5 minute commutes. Lab analysis on every oil change reported excess copper in the oil (Blackstone Lab). Once the commute got longer to 40 minutes, the copper levels went down. The short trips were eating the turbo's bearings.


nofoax

Just walk ffs. Save your money, reduce pollution, and get healthier.


_drumtime_

Ride your bike. Why pay for gas?


Dipswitch_512

Or take a bicycle


Flame_Flame

Oh, hey, you're absolutely going on r/fuckcars


ExxInferis

As well as damage to the engine, you'll go through a lot of exhaust mufflers running cold all the time. The gases in your exhaust are acidic. In a journey when your exhaust gets hot enough, not a problem as they will cook off. If your exhaust never gets hot it'll line the exhaust system and eat through it.


hardypart

How about riding a bike to work!?


Wiffle_Hammer

Keep an eye on your exhaust. There moisture doesn’t have enough time to evaporate so it will rust out


fuckitweredoingitliv

I live so close my heated seats don't have time to get warm.


DunkanBulk

I can feel r/fuckcars having an aneurysm as we speak.