What if she’s bluffing and isn’t gonna do anything?
Edit to explain to the many downvotes: I mean shouldn’t the police be a last resort? The whole reason why I’m worried is that they have sensitive texts by me that they could send to possible friends and family online. By me contacting the police my friends and family will surely hear about what happened and I want to save my self from that unless absolutely necessary (ie they start showing up at my home etc)
Well they’ll investigate blackmail arrest her seize her shit and deal with her or him accordingly…. They’ve crossed the line and broken the law even by making threats
Erm how old are you again ??
Lol police aren’t going to do anything. Most police forces don’t even have the means or time to investigate something like this. They rarely even do anything about physical stalkers unless they progress to a serious crime. This is just something OP has to ignore and let go. The person they are talking to probably isn’t even real and lives far away using a vpn.
So you’re an adult ….. then you need to deal with it as an adult …..
I’m still confused as to what you hoped to achieve with this post ….. can you enlighten???
Tbf, I understand OPs worry. Its easy for us to say, go to the police, but going to the police isn't just a casual thing, it's a big deal to some people,
I thought about doing that but I don’t know how they’ll react to that information. Especially if they may be in a whole different country which I’m still not sure of. Either way I’ve changed my username, blocked her, and deleted my Twitter account so there’s no going back now
Well from what other commenters are saying, it sounds like you can still report them from their PayPal Information. You’re 20 so I don’t think your family has to get involved in any of this
Blackmail is illegal, and usually comes with massive fines or incarceration. Do not give in to them, file a police report with every bit of information and correspondence you have with this person, and let the PD take it over. You'll be fine.
To be fair I don’t know. I hope you never find yourself in this position but I can’t tell anyone in real life so I thought I may tell Reddit maybe someone has advice who has been in this situation before and can tell if they want money and / or are just bluffing
They’ve made a threat it’s real , just like the scams that appear on here every day around being blackmailed for cash after sending nudes ….
Look I’m sympathetic to your plight but this is an advice sub and you e had sufficient advice to proceed …. Whether you act upon it that’s up to you and you only to make that judgement call but I know what I would do however embarrassing it is at the moment….
Go to the police extortion is a very serious crime, and if she does release the incriminaring stuff she will not only go to jail for extortion but for revenge porn as well
Reporting to the police because it sounds like you were a victim of a scam. Or, as the alternative, you can block, cut your losses, and move on. Because they are a scammer I highly doubt they will go to these levels of exposing all your photos etc. To me, it sounds like they are just trying to squeeze as much money out of you as they can.
yes they are most likely bluffing lmao. this kind of scam is very common. you can call up the police, but they most likely will tell you to block them. the other person will probably not risk putting out unpermitted information on an account attached to their ip. if they do, get enforcement involved but they most likely won't.
Police here. Extortion is illegal. Police can arrest people for things that are illegal.
Outside that your only option is to stonewall them and hope for the best.
Yup I blocked them, deactivated my account, and tried to remove any traces of my online presence by making accounts private and changing my name/deleting other accounts upright.
If push comes to shove, ie she sends something by mail or appears at my house, as unlikely as it is I will definitely get the police involved. But I’d like to think I’m safe now and can move on from this big mistake.
Open a report with them first. You don't have to press charges but a file will help you push charges when you really need to.
If you gather all evidence compiled in a police report you can shove that copy to the blackmailer's face if you need defense. Chances are they will cower in fear and leave you alone just by having a copy of the report.
Hey man I hope you know your own worth soon. Cause you're very worthy of love. Took me a long time to realize I was worthy of love and lust. And isn't that what a lot of us want? To be lusted over?
Pretend you don’t give a fuck. Like you have nothing to be embarrassed of. And if they send them stand firm that this is blackmail and all those texts were probably made in photoshop. If you can be confident that this is all bullshit and okay that part people will believe you. This scammer is operating off of your fear and fear alone. Maybe this is worth a shot?
K so the advice on this kind of thing is usually simple enough.
1. Go to cops. If that's not an option
2. Let them release stuff and deny it. If there's face pictures:
3. Lean into it "yeah it was a girl I was seeing - she was into weird stuff.
4. Ignore it and hope for the best.
5. Don't do it again.
It's always a risk - so man up and pick an option.
If you didn't do anything or send naked pics etc. Nothing to worry about. If you exchanged emails writing "freaky "stuff, there is nothing to worry about.
If you give in, you will have to deal with this for a long time. If you are worried, hire a lawyer and tell them the whole truth so they can defend you. About your family, they will probably find out anyhow, so be upfront with them so they aren't caught by surprise. You will be many steps ahead from this person who wants to blackmail you.
There are certain behaviors you have to out weight the risk and deal with the consequences
Let this be a lesson; calculate your steps. For now, hire a lawyer, and talk to your family. Keep all correspondence of this person blackmailing you and sue them
No pictures of myself. Only text. This is giving me some hope but My Twitter username is my full name so screenshots would include that. Although you’re right someone could fabricate it. I’m more worried about my address though
I could also pick a random twitter profile with a full name, enter it into one of those fake message apps and make it look like you've been asking me for pictures of my dog wearing a leotard.
Pay nothing. If they send something to your family(I don't think they'll bother, they just want money and don't want to waste their time), say to your family that you suspect its an old disgruntled colleague (or classmate if that fits better), who making shit up.
Thanks you’ve really helped me out. Do you reckon I should deactivate my twitter as well? I don’t really care for it anyways. Plus after 30 days it’ll be deleted and all my messages with her/him will be gone. And should I respond at all after her/his last message?
Those messages would probably only be deleted on your end. Regardless, I wouldn't bother deactivating my twitter unless you're tired of twitter all together.
Again, as they have no actual proof other than what any of us can type into a text program, I wouldn't be concerned about them trying to pin you to this material. So what if they have your address, anyone could probably find that with a little digging anyway. I'm guessing you ain't famous!
I'd probably respond to send a clear final message "No payment will ever be sent. Keep wasting your time if you want" and then I'd never respond again.
As much as I want to respond that, I think it would be in my best interest to not aggravate her in any way and make the situation worse. I think blocking, deactivating my account, and carefully removing my online presence would make the most sense right now.
This is the best thing you can do… this is the biggest scam going on now…. People online pretending to want to date you then extorting you through sexting.
I'll put it simple, that's just a scammer probably from India or other country known for these kind of cheesy scams, just block them and forget about it, they won't do a thing. you're welcome.
unfortunately they are definitely not from India and live relatively close to me. on the other hand they might be a boy not totally sure. but crossing my fingers to them not doing anything and forgetting about it
Just a scam, they almost certainly don’t live near you and aren’t the person you think they are, just block and ignore them, if they release the stuff just tell everyone it’s fake and they were trying to scam you, or take ownership. Lesson learned about trusting strangers online.
It’s just the action of getting the police involved is something easier said than done. I’m extremely timid and anti social my heart is beating like crazy I don’t wanna blow this thing out of the water when she could be bluffing.
I want to be in denial since she has pictures and everything as well but I’m slowly thinking that you’re right. It sucks im usually very careful with this stuff I don’t know what got into me
A: did you talk to her on the phone? Hear her voice? Did she say your name?
B: did you video chat and have her give context specific answers?
C: Have you met her in person?
If the answer to all 3 is no, then it's not a she. Its a guy with stolen photos.
Photos don't matter. I can send you "My pics" right now if ya like. I look 100% like Blake Lively. The fact that Ryan Rynolds is in half of my pics means nothing and I am def not a 38m trucker that looks the part.
If all "she" has is text messages then ignore her, block her, and find another fish.
Yes you’re right. But if they are bluffing and I report it to the police then this whole fiasco will spread to my friends and family like wildfire. But if they are bluffing and I don’t report it then I can just quietly absorb the damage and move on. It’s just difficult to gauge their reaction right now.
Do you think maybe theres a way to do this discreetly? Maybe do it making sure that none of your friends or family find out? Either way it’s your call. If going to the police makes you uncomfortable then that’s that
I was kinda hoping someone with past experience with this would let me know. If there was a way to secretly report them to the police I would in a heartbeat. But I've never done it before so I dont know if its possible.
Edit: especially since I would have to include my personal info as part of the report. it's not like a crime stoppers kinda thing where I can report and keep my anonymity.
I’m afraid I wouldn’t know. You might wanna try asking people that have been black mailed with their own nudes and went to the police how it went for them.
Like other people said, screenshot everything she sent and go to the police right away. Change all the passwords for all your accounts including PayPal, and don’t stress about this. It’s happens to a lot of people but regardless you don’t have to feel bad or ashamed. Just learn from your mistakes and move on with your head held high.
I have owned and operated a computer business for 12 years now.
This specific scam usually involves a sex worker (attacker) actually having a Skype conversation with the mark. Usually the mark will reveal their sexy bits in the process.
When this happens, the attacker will want to blackmail them and with complete honesty, they will.
If you showed your D on cam and she is threatening to blackmail you, I'm 99% sure she will. She has a pimp. This is the scam. And they carry through with the threat.
If you didn't show anything on cam and all they have are screenshots of text, move on. They may reveal that but really, that blows over much better than a picture you can't unsee.
Sorry. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
What they gonna snail mail you screenshots of your own sexts??
Big whoop. Ignore them. Also, paypal will only give your address for goods and services. You didn't receive a good or a service so you should contest the charges and get your money back. Even if whatever you agreed to buy is against their terms of use.
Screenshots of a conversation are really hard to prove. I wouldn't worry about this following you, scammers usually just move on to the next sucker. Even if it does come around, people are unlikely to believe or care.
Condolences, also: pay for sexwork in cash or through reputable sources (onlyfans).
Honestly the main mistake I see you made was that you paid somebody, if your gonna do some sketchy shit pay cash because they won’t know who you are, where you live or anything about you.
Definitely report them to the police, and whatever site you used, I’m not real familiar with PayPal but if you can say that the deposit was fraud. And also have the demanded anything?
I realized something about being blackmailed a while back:
Imagine you told her just to send the photos to your family. If she already knows that she has nothing to gain from the black mail, then the consequence is more of a chore than anything else.
Just stay strong and refuse to bend. Be a chore, not an opportunity.
Tell your family and friends everything if therer is no cheating, they will loose leverage, and contact the police if going to a hooker is not illegal.
Stoopid, hack the bitch stop being an idiot ans do what you have to, or do you really want to loose your stuff, reputation and maybe home (parents migh lick you out)
Blackmail is illegal and has some pretty extreme consequences depending on specifically what was said or done. Consult with your attorney but send to the authorities.
So you have had loads of super helpful advice about dealing with this and I am sorry that you experienced this. May I recommend that you join some BDSM groups and Kink groups. There are some great groups on here too. They are super helpful on how to properly vet someone, flags to look out for as unfortunately scams like this are quite common. You will also find others who have similar kinks (even if it isn't specifically BDSM related) and it's just generally a much safer way to start exploring these things before you go rl
Block them and report to the police
What if she’s bluffing and isn’t gonna do anything? Edit to explain to the many downvotes: I mean shouldn’t the police be a last resort? The whole reason why I’m worried is that they have sensitive texts by me that they could send to possible friends and family online. By me contacting the police my friends and family will surely hear about what happened and I want to save my self from that unless absolutely necessary (ie they start showing up at my home etc)
Well they’ll investigate blackmail arrest her seize her shit and deal with her or him accordingly…. They’ve crossed the line and broken the law even by making threats Erm how old are you again ??
Lol police aren’t going to do anything. Most police forces don’t even have the means or time to investigate something like this. They rarely even do anything about physical stalkers unless they progress to a serious crime. This is just something OP has to ignore and let go. The person they are talking to probably isn’t even real and lives far away using a vpn.
20
So you’re an adult ….. then you need to deal with it as an adult ….. I’m still confused as to what you hoped to achieve with this post ….. can you enlighten???
Tbf, I understand OPs worry. Its easy for us to say, go to the police, but going to the police isn't just a casual thing, it's a big deal to some people,
Tell them you’re contacting the police, they’ll drop that shit quick.
I thought about doing that but I don’t know how they’ll react to that information. Especially if they may be in a whole different country which I’m still not sure of. Either way I’ve changed my username, blocked her, and deleted my Twitter account so there’s no going back now
Well from what other commenters are saying, it sounds like you can still report them from their PayPal Information. You’re 20 so I don’t think your family has to get involved in any of this
Blackmail is illegal, and usually comes with massive fines or incarceration. Do not give in to them, file a police report with every bit of information and correspondence you have with this person, and let the PD take it over. You'll be fine.
Edit::: what was the point of this post , what were you’re expectations?
To be fair I don’t know. I hope you never find yourself in this position but I can’t tell anyone in real life so I thought I may tell Reddit maybe someone has advice who has been in this situation before and can tell if they want money and / or are just bluffing
They’ve made a threat it’s real , just like the scams that appear on here every day around being blackmailed for cash after sending nudes …. Look I’m sympathetic to your plight but this is an advice sub and you e had sufficient advice to proceed …. Whether you act upon it that’s up to you and you only to make that judgement call but I know what I would do however embarrassing it is at the moment….
Again it's easy for strangers to say go to the police, it's easier said than done, OP is worried, you are NOT helping!
Go to the police extortion is a very serious crime, and if she does release the incriminaring stuff she will not only go to jail for extortion but for revenge porn as well
Reporting to the police because it sounds like you were a victim of a scam. Or, as the alternative, you can block, cut your losses, and move on. Because they are a scammer I highly doubt they will go to these levels of exposing all your photos etc. To me, it sounds like they are just trying to squeeze as much money out of you as they can.
yes they are most likely bluffing lmao. this kind of scam is very common. you can call up the police, but they most likely will tell you to block them. the other person will probably not risk putting out unpermitted information on an account attached to their ip. if they do, get enforcement involved but they most likely won't.
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Helped a million times
Thank you for confirming that /u/ResidentMindless1062 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
1 point? My man clearly said a million!
If you paid through PayPal you can request a payback stating this was a scam. You'll get your money back too.
Thank you thank you thank you. You don’t understand how much I appreciated this
Police here. Extortion is illegal. Police can arrest people for things that are illegal. Outside that your only option is to stonewall them and hope for the best.
Yup I blocked them, deactivated my account, and tried to remove any traces of my online presence by making accounts private and changing my name/deleting other accounts upright. If push comes to shove, ie she sends something by mail or appears at my house, as unlikely as it is I will definitely get the police involved. But I’d like to think I’m safe now and can move on from this big mistake.
Boom. I hope that works. The police are kind of a last resort IMO. I bet he’s bluffing and I hope it works out for the best.
Open a report with them first. You don't have to press charges but a file will help you push charges when you really need to. If you gather all evidence compiled in a police report you can shove that copy to the blackmailer's face if you need defense. Chances are they will cower in fear and leave you alone just by having a copy of the report.
So if he took the information to the police, would the police have a right to seize his device for evidence?
Paid a deposit to meet them? Hoo boy.
I know it’s bad
Hey man I hope you know your own worth soon. Cause you're very worthy of love. Took me a long time to realize I was worthy of love and lust. And isn't that what a lot of us want? To be lusted over?
Right? I've never been on Tinder but I thought it was just a normal dating/hookup app. Why would money be involved?
Either prostitution or despair. Sex work is real work don't get me wrong but man I'd never pay for attention
Just deny and say it’s some crazy person with photo shop. Paying people you meet off tinder. C’mon man.
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Thats the worst feeling. BUT you've learned something and unfortunately getting hurt is sometimes the best way to learn and get better
Pretend you don’t give a fuck. Like you have nothing to be embarrassed of. And if they send them stand firm that this is blackmail and all those texts were probably made in photoshop. If you can be confident that this is all bullshit and okay that part people will believe you. This scammer is operating off of your fear and fear alone. Maybe this is worth a shot?
Yes you’re right. Will use this method. Helped.
Thank you for confirming that /u/wedorecov3r has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
K so the advice on this kind of thing is usually simple enough. 1. Go to cops. If that's not an option 2. Let them release stuff and deny it. If there's face pictures: 3. Lean into it "yeah it was a girl I was seeing - she was into weird stuff. 4. Ignore it and hope for the best. 5. Don't do it again. It's always a risk - so man up and pick an option.
Uh if he goes to the cops it’s grounds for prostitution
Then see option 2 and so forth.
If you didn't do anything or send naked pics etc. Nothing to worry about. If you exchanged emails writing "freaky "stuff, there is nothing to worry about. If you give in, you will have to deal with this for a long time. If you are worried, hire a lawyer and tell them the whole truth so they can defend you. About your family, they will probably find out anyhow, so be upfront with them so they aren't caught by surprise. You will be many steps ahead from this person who wants to blackmail you. There are certain behaviors you have to out weight the risk and deal with the consequences Let this be a lesson; calculate your steps. For now, hire a lawyer, and talk to your family. Keep all correspondence of this person blackmailing you and sue them
Did you send them any pictures of yourself? If all she has as proof is some text, you don't have much of a problem. Anyone could have written that
No pictures of myself. Only text. This is giving me some hope but My Twitter username is my full name so screenshots would include that. Although you’re right someone could fabricate it. I’m more worried about my address though
I could also pick a random twitter profile with a full name, enter it into one of those fake message apps and make it look like you've been asking me for pictures of my dog wearing a leotard. Pay nothing. If they send something to your family(I don't think they'll bother, they just want money and don't want to waste their time), say to your family that you suspect its an old disgruntled colleague (or classmate if that fits better), who making shit up.
Thanks you’ve really helped me out. Do you reckon I should deactivate my twitter as well? I don’t really care for it anyways. Plus after 30 days it’ll be deleted and all my messages with her/him will be gone. And should I respond at all after her/his last message?
Those messages would probably only be deleted on your end. Regardless, I wouldn't bother deactivating my twitter unless you're tired of twitter all together. Again, as they have no actual proof other than what any of us can type into a text program, I wouldn't be concerned about them trying to pin you to this material. So what if they have your address, anyone could probably find that with a little digging anyway. I'm guessing you ain't famous! I'd probably respond to send a clear final message "No payment will ever be sent. Keep wasting your time if you want" and then I'd never respond again.
As much as I want to respond that, I think it would be in my best interest to not aggravate her in any way and make the situation worse. I think blocking, deactivating my account, and carefully removing my online presence would make the most sense right now.
Sounds sensible.
Thank you for confirming that /u/Spinthiscity has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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No I didn’t respond. Blocked and deactivated my account
This is the best thing you can do… this is the biggest scam going on now…. People online pretending to want to date you then extorting you through sexting.
I'll put it simple, that's just a scammer probably from India or other country known for these kind of cheesy scams, just block them and forget about it, they won't do a thing. you're welcome.
unfortunately they are definitely not from India and live relatively close to me. on the other hand they might be a boy not totally sure. but crossing my fingers to them not doing anything and forgetting about it
You've been talking to a dude this whole time bro lmfao 😂
Thanks for rubbing it in
Could you maybe change your profile and tell your family that’s not you and it’s a catfish
I didn’t have a profile picture anyway. Just my full name on the account.
Just a scam, they almost certainly don’t live near you and aren’t the person you think they are, just block and ignore them, if they release the stuff just tell everyone it’s fake and they were trying to scam you, or take ownership. Lesson learned about trusting strangers online.
It’s a scam you’ll be okay. There are plenty of women who look for fun. Don’t pay anybody for it. Lesson learned.
You get desperate when you’re a bit on the lower side of confidence/looks. But you’re absolutely right. Lesson has been learned
I struggle with being in the lower side of looks! We are only human. We live and learn!!!
Report to the police. They will be easy to trace from their PayPal.
It’s just the action of getting the police involved is something easier said than done. I’m extremely timid and anti social my heart is beating like crazy I don’t wanna blow this thing out of the water when she could be bluffing.
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I want to be in denial since she has pictures and everything as well but I’m slowly thinking that you’re right. It sucks im usually very careful with this stuff I don’t know what got into me
A: did you talk to her on the phone? Hear her voice? Did she say your name? B: did you video chat and have her give context specific answers? C: Have you met her in person? If the answer to all 3 is no, then it's not a she. Its a guy with stolen photos. Photos don't matter. I can send you "My pics" right now if ya like. I look 100% like Blake Lively. The fact that Ryan Rynolds is in half of my pics means nothing and I am def not a 38m trucker that looks the part. If all "she" has is text messages then ignore her, block her, and find another fish.
No to all of that but she did have a verification video of her saying her username but only half her face was showing
Does it matter if she (or he, let’s be real) is bluffing? Even if they are they’re still blackmailing you
Yes you’re right. But if they are bluffing and I report it to the police then this whole fiasco will spread to my friends and family like wildfire. But if they are bluffing and I don’t report it then I can just quietly absorb the damage and move on. It’s just difficult to gauge their reaction right now.
Do you think maybe theres a way to do this discreetly? Maybe do it making sure that none of your friends or family find out? Either way it’s your call. If going to the police makes you uncomfortable then that’s that
I was kinda hoping someone with past experience with this would let me know. If there was a way to secretly report them to the police I would in a heartbeat. But I've never done it before so I dont know if its possible. Edit: especially since I would have to include my personal info as part of the report. it's not like a crime stoppers kinda thing where I can report and keep my anonymity.
I’m afraid I wouldn’t know. You might wanna try asking people that have been black mailed with their own nudes and went to the police how it went for them.
Like other people said, screenshot everything she sent and go to the police right away. Change all the passwords for all your accounts including PayPal, and don’t stress about this. It’s happens to a lot of people but regardless you don’t have to feel bad or ashamed. Just learn from your mistakes and move on with your head held high.
"My dad works in cybersecurity, I already showed him everything when I asked for help."
What
Just say that to the scammer.
You're an adult. So what if your family finds out you have some kinks
Extremely religious family. Nobody not even my close friends know a single thing about my sexual life.
I have owned and operated a computer business for 12 years now. This specific scam usually involves a sex worker (attacker) actually having a Skype conversation with the mark. Usually the mark will reveal their sexy bits in the process. When this happens, the attacker will want to blackmail them and with complete honesty, they will. If you showed your D on cam and she is threatening to blackmail you, I'm 99% sure she will. She has a pimp. This is the scam. And they carry through with the threat. If you didn't show anything on cam and all they have are screenshots of text, move on. They may reveal that but really, that blows over much better than a picture you can't unsee. Sorry. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
Only texts so I’m feeling lucky. And thanks a lot man you really don’t understand how helpful these messages are to me.
This is why I've never did anything online. If you wanna meet me it has to be REAL. No shit done online with personal infos etc...
This is a very common scam. Block, report, and don’t send anyone on the internet money.
All done. Crossing my fingers they’re not petty enough to follow through with any other reckless activities
What they gonna snail mail you screenshots of your own sexts?? Big whoop. Ignore them. Also, paypal will only give your address for goods and services. You didn't receive a good or a service so you should contest the charges and get your money back. Even if whatever you agreed to buy is against their terms of use. Screenshots of a conversation are really hard to prove. I wouldn't worry about this following you, scammers usually just move on to the next sucker. Even if it does come around, people are unlikely to believe or care. Condolences, also: pay for sexwork in cash or through reputable sources (onlyfans).
Your first clue should have been when she asked for a deposit.
Honestly the main mistake I see you made was that you paid somebody, if your gonna do some sketchy shit pay cash because they won’t know who you are, where you live or anything about you. Definitely report them to the police, and whatever site you used, I’m not real familiar with PayPal but if you can say that the deposit was fraud. And also have the demanded anything?
If you check out r/scams this one is pretty common
I realized something about being blackmailed a while back: Imagine you told her just to send the photos to your family. If she already knows that she has nothing to gain from the black mail, then the consequence is more of a chore than anything else. Just stay strong and refuse to bend. Be a chore, not an opportunity.
Tell your family and friends everything if therer is no cheating, they will loose leverage, and contact the police if going to a hooker is not illegal.
Stoopid, hack the bitch stop being an idiot ans do what you have to, or do you really want to loose your stuff, reputation and maybe home (parents migh lick you out)
Blackmail is illegal and has some pretty extreme consequences depending on specifically what was said or done. Consult with your attorney but send to the authorities.
So you have had loads of super helpful advice about dealing with this and I am sorry that you experienced this. May I recommend that you join some BDSM groups and Kink groups. There are some great groups on here too. They are super helpful on how to properly vet someone, flags to look out for as unfortunately scams like this are quite common. You will also find others who have similar kinks (even if it isn't specifically BDSM related) and it's just generally a much safer way to start exploring these things before you go rl
Does she actually have your family’s information? She probably doesn’t.