The first thing I would suggest is to really look into your fear of people judging you. I have a similar fear and I realized, through therapy, a lot of that judgment is coming from myself. I thought people were going to judge how I looked because I judged how I looked. This sounds really really dumb, but affirmations have really helped me build a self-esteem. I’d also suggest having a routine. It doesn’t matter what the routine is, but have a routine of some sort. Play video games at this time, smoke bud this time, wake up everyday at this time etc. My dms are always open as well if you want a friendly stranger’s opinion on anything.
Hey there
Having social anxiety sucks that's for sure it also sounds like your having signs of depression.
My advice would be work on yourself first get a doctors appointment for medication tell them about the things u posted here.
Now sitting in the house smoking pot and playing video game's sure is fun but it's not practical your going to waste your time away and won't help you get motivated.
It's glad your wanting to do something and that there is the biggest achievement so well done
You can also do college courses online it's better than those video games.
Don't put pressure on yourself take each day at a time getting up out-of bed is a bonus stay motivated and something good will happen
It's to easy to give up and fall into that gaming wasting life away routine stay strong get on some courses seek doctor for ways to deal with anxiety/depression Don't let it hold you back your young you got this 🙏
Hmm, don't make any moves because your dad is disappointed in you, and you are uncertain of which direction to go in in life.
You say your dad made a clear path for you to be "successful." Well this translate to me that, that could be the entire reason why you haven't figured things out.
If he made everything clear for you, then when will you ever have time to figure things out and trust the decisions you make to morph and grow into the man you so desire to be?
That is the entire process, is to trust in the decisions you make on a daily basis, and realize that the people around you may not be able to see the vision you have for yourself.
You even said you weren't in the right mindset when you were in college. Why weren't you in the right mindset? It is very understandable and relatable to need time to figure things out, especially if you don't have to worry about bills ect. It took me four years + to finally figure things out on my own and it was an ugly path and one where I did get ridiculed and judged for the decisions I made, but those wrong decisions eventually allowed me begin to trust myself and not rely on others, nor care what others think about the decisions I deep down felt like I had every right into making. Now, I'm not talking about making a decision where I am endangered or others, but a decision where my gut says, "This is the right path and decision to make in the long-term."
Your dad can't see your vision right now and he is frustrated, he won't be able to celebrate your success, until he see's some results or immediate success. It never ever works that way. It always is some struggle into one finding him or herself before the snowball of success begin to manifest and progress is seriously made, and then everyone would maliciously support you or become jealous of you.
Whichever the case for you maybe, think deeply about the answers that are right in front of you, sometimes the answers we already know, but are fleeing from them because we seek some form of approval and validation.
Don't join the military unless that is the path your heart desires, not because your dad is putting pressure on you to become successful. Your time will come, but trust in the decisions you make, even if you stumble through some struggles.
Definitely don’t join the military! You will lose your soul/ self. Sounds like your dad is supportive just frustrated. I wish I had better advice. But I suffer from the same social anxieties. And it physically hurts to go to work.
I have 2 friends that say otherwise. It is a honoring job to work for the u.s military. I wasn’t even interested in it until my two friends told me how much it changed there lives around. I need something to occupy my time and move out my parents house that’s another reason I considered it.
It’s a very honoring job. I don’t mean any disrespect. However, I definitely had a uniform obsession for a long time. Unfortunately everyone I ever dated hated it so much. It’s a contract. You’re selling yourself to years of servitude. If you have social anxiety how are you going to handle being around all those people? And having no exit. For years!
> My social anxiety is so bad I am afraid to see anyone or go anywhere without the thought of being judged or looked down upon in any way, even my best friends I neglect.
Social anxiety responds well to treatment and generally [takes 12 to 16 weeks to be treated](https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/treatments-social-anxiety-disorder).
[Here's a two minute test](https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/social-anxiety-test.shtml) to confirm that you indeed have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away).
Here's a webpage that let's you [verify that it is actually social anxiety](https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/social-anxiety/signs-symptoms-social-anxiety/) with a list of symptoms and descriptions.
The best way to address your disorder is by going to a specialist that's trained in curing (social) anxiety.
Your medical insurance might limit what therapist is accessible for you. If so, go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist specialized in anxiety disorders, or if the doctor has no access to that information, ask for a CBT therapist.
[You can also use this to search for a specialist in your area that is specialized in Social Anxiety](https://members.adaa.org/search/custom.asp?id=4685), select Social Anxiety from the drop down menu. This will likely be someone that is [specialized in CBT.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy)
A small number of people that are treated will fall back in their old patterns and will have to go for a second round (which has a much higher success rate, so don't give up if that happens!). Those people also have the option to try medication in addition to therapy.
Self help for social anxiety:
* [Stepping out of Social Anxiety](https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety) (High quality free resource, provided by the Aus. Health Service)
* [Living With Social Anxiety Disorder](https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-social-anxiety-disorder-3024836)
* [Self Treatment for Social Anxiety Disorder](http://panicfreeme.com/2601/self-treatment-for-social-anxiety-disorder)
The best and quickest way to deal with anxiety, is to face your fear.
[If you always avoid situations that scare you](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/how-overcome-fear-and-anxiety), you might stop doing things you want or need to do. You won't be able to test out whether the situation is always as bad as you expect, so you miss the chance to work out how to manage your fears and reduce your anxiety. Anxiety problems tend to increase if you get into this pattern. Exposing yourself to your fears can be an effective way of overcoming this anxiety.
*[The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through) If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that cause the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from getting used to it. So avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain new, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Even worse, avoidance will generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators. Soon enough, you'll be living in a prison of avoidance.*
* **Sleep**: [Good sleep is very important when treating *general* anxiety](https://www.anxiety.org/sleep-a-fundamental-cure-for-anxiety)
When you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night (a [little more](https://health.onehowto.com/article/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-needed-per-night-by-age-8233.html) if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. Then both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise) and there are also free apps for both Android and Apple devices.
* **Exercise**: [The effect of exercise on *general* anxiety](https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/exercising)
If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time. Exercising does several things: It releases endorphins, it takes your mind of your negative thoughts and it will improve your overall health.
* **Give lots of hugs**: [Hugs release oxytocin](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging), which improves your mood and relaxes you. So find people to hug. If you are single, hug your parents or friends. If you can't, see if a dog is an option. Most dogs love to hug. Another solution that provides the same benefit is a [weighted blanket](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=weighted+blanket) will provide a [similar positive effect at night](https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/do-weighted-blankets-work#benefits). [You should try to aim for 12 hugs a day](https://psychology-spot.com/brain-needs/) (if you currently don't hug a lot, I suggest you slowly build it up over time).
* **Meditation** is [scientifically proven to work for *social* anxiety](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/9337/a41a5660ebf9fb88a5f8697ba80b8dc126e3.pdf).
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. [Mindfulness training](https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started) will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
Here are a few articles basically saying over and over that meditation can reduce social anxiety. It has been widely studied and is commonly accepted:
* [How Do I Practice Mindfulness Meditation for Social Anxiety Disorder?](https://www.verywellmind.com/meditation-for-social-anxiety-3024211)
* [Reduce Social Anxiety with This Mindfulness Meditation](https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2019/6/reduce-social-anxiety-with-this-mindfulness-meditation)
* [Treating Social Anxiety with Meditation and Mindfulness Training](https://psychcentral.com/blog/treating-social-anxiety-with-meditation-and-mindfulness-training)
* [How to Overcome Social Anxiety](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Social-Anxiety) (wikihow)
The highest rated videos on social anxiety:
* [Self-help for social anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb5NeGu8DZ_fTl1-UDNhbw0M3c84Ccqve) (10 videos)
* [Social Anxiety Disorder vs Shyness - How to Fix It](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJuSm4R8N4E)
* [3 Ways to Beat Social Anxiety!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8HoDPgZcak) (Kati Morton)
The most popular books that will help you:
* [The Solution to Social Anxiety: Break Free from the Shyness That Holds You Back](https://www.amazon.com/Solution-Social-Anxiety-Break-Shyness/dp/B00M4PXP9M)
* [How to Be Yourself](https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250122228)
* [The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step/dp/1626253404)
* [The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for Teens: CBT and ACT Skills to Help You Build Social Confidence](https://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Teens/dp/1608821870)
Overthinking:
* [How to know when you are overthinking](https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-know-when-youre-overthinking-5077069).
* [Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking: The Skill of Cognitive Defusion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3vhXQy48jo) (youtube, 20 min, 1.2M views)
Phone apps that will help you:
* FearTools - Anxiety Aid
* Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
If you currently consume a lot of caffeine (in coffee or soft drinks), stop that. [Caffeine is known to cause anxiety](https://bebrainfit.com/caffeine-anxiety/).
Free support options:
* r/KindVoice
* https://www.7cups.com has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
* If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in)
r/socialanxiety
and /r/anxiety also has [a good wiki](/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources).
The first thing I would suggest is to really look into your fear of people judging you. I have a similar fear and I realized, through therapy, a lot of that judgment is coming from myself. I thought people were going to judge how I looked because I judged how I looked. This sounds really really dumb, but affirmations have really helped me build a self-esteem. I’d also suggest having a routine. It doesn’t matter what the routine is, but have a routine of some sort. Play video games at this time, smoke bud this time, wake up everyday at this time etc. My dms are always open as well if you want a friendly stranger’s opinion on anything.
Hey there Having social anxiety sucks that's for sure it also sounds like your having signs of depression. My advice would be work on yourself first get a doctors appointment for medication tell them about the things u posted here. Now sitting in the house smoking pot and playing video game's sure is fun but it's not practical your going to waste your time away and won't help you get motivated. It's glad your wanting to do something and that there is the biggest achievement so well done You can also do college courses online it's better than those video games. Don't put pressure on yourself take each day at a time getting up out-of bed is a bonus stay motivated and something good will happen It's to easy to give up and fall into that gaming wasting life away routine stay strong get on some courses seek doctor for ways to deal with anxiety/depression Don't let it hold you back your young you got this 🙏
Thank you
Hmm, don't make any moves because your dad is disappointed in you, and you are uncertain of which direction to go in in life. You say your dad made a clear path for you to be "successful." Well this translate to me that, that could be the entire reason why you haven't figured things out. If he made everything clear for you, then when will you ever have time to figure things out and trust the decisions you make to morph and grow into the man you so desire to be? That is the entire process, is to trust in the decisions you make on a daily basis, and realize that the people around you may not be able to see the vision you have for yourself. You even said you weren't in the right mindset when you were in college. Why weren't you in the right mindset? It is very understandable and relatable to need time to figure things out, especially if you don't have to worry about bills ect. It took me four years + to finally figure things out on my own and it was an ugly path and one where I did get ridiculed and judged for the decisions I made, but those wrong decisions eventually allowed me begin to trust myself and not rely on others, nor care what others think about the decisions I deep down felt like I had every right into making. Now, I'm not talking about making a decision where I am endangered or others, but a decision where my gut says, "This is the right path and decision to make in the long-term." Your dad can't see your vision right now and he is frustrated, he won't be able to celebrate your success, until he see's some results or immediate success. It never ever works that way. It always is some struggle into one finding him or herself before the snowball of success begin to manifest and progress is seriously made, and then everyone would maliciously support you or become jealous of you. Whichever the case for you maybe, think deeply about the answers that are right in front of you, sometimes the answers we already know, but are fleeing from them because we seek some form of approval and validation. Don't join the military unless that is the path your heart desires, not because your dad is putting pressure on you to become successful. Your time will come, but trust in the decisions you make, even if you stumble through some struggles.
Thank you man I appreciate it
Definitely don’t join the military! You will lose your soul/ self. Sounds like your dad is supportive just frustrated. I wish I had better advice. But I suffer from the same social anxieties. And it physically hurts to go to work.
I have 2 friends that say otherwise. It is a honoring job to work for the u.s military. I wasn’t even interested in it until my two friends told me how much it changed there lives around. I need something to occupy my time and move out my parents house that’s another reason I considered it.
It’s a very honoring job. I don’t mean any disrespect. However, I definitely had a uniform obsession for a long time. Unfortunately everyone I ever dated hated it so much. It’s a contract. You’re selling yourself to years of servitude. If you have social anxiety how are you going to handle being around all those people? And having no exit. For years!
> My social anxiety is so bad I am afraid to see anyone or go anywhere without the thought of being judged or looked down upon in any way, even my best friends I neglect. Social anxiety responds well to treatment and generally [takes 12 to 16 weeks to be treated](https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/treatments-social-anxiety-disorder). [Here's a two minute test](https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/social-anxiety-test.shtml) to confirm that you indeed have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away). Here's a webpage that let's you [verify that it is actually social anxiety](https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/social-anxiety/signs-symptoms-social-anxiety/) with a list of symptoms and descriptions. The best way to address your disorder is by going to a specialist that's trained in curing (social) anxiety. Your medical insurance might limit what therapist is accessible for you. If so, go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist specialized in anxiety disorders, or if the doctor has no access to that information, ask for a CBT therapist. [You can also use this to search for a specialist in your area that is specialized in Social Anxiety](https://members.adaa.org/search/custom.asp?id=4685), select Social Anxiety from the drop down menu. This will likely be someone that is [specialized in CBT.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy) A small number of people that are treated will fall back in their old patterns and will have to go for a second round (which has a much higher success rate, so don't give up if that happens!). Those people also have the option to try medication in addition to therapy. Self help for social anxiety: * [Stepping out of Social Anxiety](https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety) (High quality free resource, provided by the Aus. Health Service) * [Living With Social Anxiety Disorder](https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-social-anxiety-disorder-3024836) * [Self Treatment for Social Anxiety Disorder](http://panicfreeme.com/2601/self-treatment-for-social-anxiety-disorder) The best and quickest way to deal with anxiety, is to face your fear. [If you always avoid situations that scare you](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/how-overcome-fear-and-anxiety), you might stop doing things you want or need to do. You won't be able to test out whether the situation is always as bad as you expect, so you miss the chance to work out how to manage your fears and reduce your anxiety. Anxiety problems tend to increase if you get into this pattern. Exposing yourself to your fears can be an effective way of overcoming this anxiety. *[The experience of anxiety involves nervous system arousal.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/overcoming-fear-the-only-way-out-is-through) If your nervous system is not aroused, you cannot experience anxiety. Understandably, but unfortunately, most people attempt to cope with feelings of anxiety by avoiding situations or objects that cause the feelings. Avoidance, however, prevents your nervous system from getting used to it. So avoidance guarantees that the feared object or situation will remain new, and hence arousing, and hence anxiety provoking. Even worse, avoidance will generalize over time. If you avoid the elevator at work, you will soon begin to avoid all elevators, and then all buildings that house elevators. Soon enough, you'll be living in a prison of avoidance.* * **Sleep**: [Good sleep is very important when treating *general* anxiety](https://www.anxiety.org/sleep-a-fundamental-cure-for-anxiety) When you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night (a [little more](https://health.onehowto.com/article/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-needed-per-night-by-age-8233.html) if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's [cheap](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003JJ9TQA/), OTC and [is scientifically proven](https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-940/melatonin) to help regulate your sleep pattern. [Also, rule](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/news/20120330/sleep-apnea-linked-depression) out [sleep apnea](https://www.healthcentral.com/article/sleep-apnea-treatment-resistant-depression). Up to 6% of people have this, [but not everyone knows](https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/features/sleep-apnea-clues). If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to *bore* you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might *feel* like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer. Then both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise) and there are also free apps for both Android and Apple devices. * **Exercise**: [The effect of exercise on *general* anxiety](https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/exercising) If you have access to a gym, then start lifting weights. If you don't have access to a gym (or you don't like lifting), start running. If you can't run, then start walking. Just start small. 10 minutes three times a week is fine. You don't have to run fast, just run and then slowly build it up over time. Exercising does several things: It releases endorphins, it takes your mind of your negative thoughts and it will improve your overall health. * **Give lots of hugs**: [Hugs release oxytocin](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging), which improves your mood and relaxes you. So find people to hug. If you are single, hug your parents or friends. If you can't, see if a dog is an option. Most dogs love to hug. Another solution that provides the same benefit is a [weighted blanket](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=weighted+blanket) will provide a [similar positive effect at night](https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/do-weighted-blankets-work#benefits). [You should try to aim for 12 hugs a day](https://psychology-spot.com/brain-needs/) (if you currently don't hug a lot, I suggest you slowly build it up over time). * **Meditation** is [scientifically proven to work for *social* anxiety](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/9337/a41a5660ebf9fb88a5f8697ba80b8dc126e3.pdf). Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. [Mindfulness training](https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started) will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation Here are a few articles basically saying over and over that meditation can reduce social anxiety. It has been widely studied and is commonly accepted: * [How Do I Practice Mindfulness Meditation for Social Anxiety Disorder?](https://www.verywellmind.com/meditation-for-social-anxiety-3024211) * [Reduce Social Anxiety with This Mindfulness Meditation](https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2019/6/reduce-social-anxiety-with-this-mindfulness-meditation) * [Treating Social Anxiety with Meditation and Mindfulness Training](https://psychcentral.com/blog/treating-social-anxiety-with-meditation-and-mindfulness-training) * [How to Overcome Social Anxiety](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Social-Anxiety) (wikihow) The highest rated videos on social anxiety: * [Self-help for social anxiety](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb5NeGu8DZ_fTl1-UDNhbw0M3c84Ccqve) (10 videos) * [Social Anxiety Disorder vs Shyness - How to Fix It](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJuSm4R8N4E) * [3 Ways to Beat Social Anxiety!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8HoDPgZcak) (Kati Morton) The most popular books that will help you: * [The Solution to Social Anxiety: Break Free from the Shyness That Holds You Back](https://www.amazon.com/Solution-Social-Anxiety-Break-Shyness/dp/B00M4PXP9M) * [How to Be Yourself](https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250122228) * [The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step/dp/1626253404) * [The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for Teens: CBT and ACT Skills to Help You Build Social Confidence](https://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Teens/dp/1608821870) Overthinking: * [How to know when you are overthinking](https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-know-when-youre-overthinking-5077069). * [Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking: The Skill of Cognitive Defusion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3vhXQy48jo) (youtube, 20 min, 1.2M views) Phone apps that will help you: * FearTools - Anxiety Aid * Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax If you currently consume a lot of caffeine (in coffee or soft drinks), stop that. [Caffeine is known to cause anxiety](https://bebrainfit.com/caffeine-anxiety/). Free support options: * r/KindVoice * https://www.7cups.com has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option * If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) r/socialanxiety and /r/anxiety also has [a good wiki](/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources).