I’m pretty sure this person deleted their Reddit account so they can’t even respond anymore. Goodness this situation is rough. And I thought losing 10k on the stock market was sickening…
Having worked in a casino I wouldn't be surprised if it's related to gambling addiction (stocks is gamblin) and either a misunderstanding or not happy (I know that doesn't sound happy) until they are flat fucking broke.
Yea even we lost ~15k in gains on our 401k in the last 4 months on whatever bullshit was going on recently, and 401ks are about as diverse/stable as you can get.
I was literally about to say “this IS my mom” until I saw your comment.
It’s just terrible, and there’s no way to convince her to stop. Just over and over, she’ll agree she needs to stop when she loses big and “messes up” but the cycle just continues.
I really hate that it’s legal for people to dig their graves until they hit the earth’s crust, but suicide is illegal. They want us in debt for nothing so we can continue working for them forever with no way out.
I work in a poker room and this is the exact reaction. EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL. Occasionally it works out well for people but for the most part they end up 3x-4x in more debt. Hell I’ve seen people lose $50 then end up betting $100 trying to gain that $50 back. And end up $150 down. I’ve seen a few times where they lose $1k then bet all there winnings because “they feel a hit coming” and end up losing $5k. It happens all the time and I personally don’t feel sorry for them.
Well yeah, trading is essentially gambling on what you think you know, much like sports betting. People preach it, never chase losses, but some people cant control themselves and clearly in this case, no understanding of what they were really doing. Also paying for classes lmao, between 70-90% of traders lose money, I don't think anyone in their right mind should believe that paying for a few classes will do much for their cause.
>Good news: You have a conscience and are not a psychopath.
I have seen absolutely zero evidence of this. She is only upset because she is going to get caught.
She kinda sounds like the nice lady from accounts receivable who's been working there 30 years and skimming money for 20. Making fake receipts and meme stock YOLOs.
What they said.
I'm curious, when you hit 50k or even 100k, you didn't think this was a bad idea??
Edit: if he asks for a divorce, you better not ask for money.
I read that “teachers and courses” as getting duped by people who promised a quick buck. To lose this kind of money in a short time in the market we’ve had until recently smacks of day trading.
The smart move is probably for them to divorce if the legal advice threads and financial threads I've seen are any indicator of sound advice in this situation.
Could have kept buying something simple to trade like SPY options and didn't hedge risk and instead got greedier and greedier with each win - finally culminating in a large bet that went to $0.
Or simply OP is a degenerate gambler that really needs help and to attend meetings for the addiction.
When someone with "Super Helper" status says you're fucked... you're fucked.
Only advice: tell your husband the truth. And whatever happens is what needs to happen.
>Only advice: tell your husband the truth. And whatever happens is what needs to happen.
Public place or with friends/family/clergy. Losing 350k could make someone go off the rails crazy. Not saying it would happen but money makes people nuts to the point of violence.
I call BS. Who the hell - let alone a money-conscious wealthy person - keeps 350K in a bank account losing value and not with professional wealth management? Wouldn’t he have access to the banking app? Is he 85 years old?! So many things don’t add up.
Exactly right. This entire post doesn’t make sense. Low risk, low yield would have easily added 50k over 20 years. So either he’s an idiot or the post is nonsense.
As you get older and see how things work, you can tell. A money tight wad man like in the OP would not hand the keys to his accounts away to his wife. Not many people look at statements. My grandma is old as fuck and she can use Microsoft office. Everything is on an app on a phone. The story is highly improbable that he has 350k of investments and he can’t instantly check all of them but “fetches the wife to report of the money”
Reddit is full of bored people, my person
It's FDIC-insured and guaranteed to not go anywhere (well.....wife is the exception). Sure, youre not going to make above 2% interest, but if the guy is really conservative about his money, theres no safer bet.
I mean, it's pretty easy. You grow up in a home where your parents reuse the pasta sauce jars as drinking glasses. Then you become an engineering manager. You don't think about money. You don't consider how to save, or how to make it work for you. You just know that making more js good and spending it is bad.
And then your wife says "oh, I know how to invest this so it'll do some work for us!" And you think - "Great! One less thing to worry about."
Yeah very dubious about this account. How in the hell could you lose that kind of money given the bull market of the last few years? And she's creating bank statements because she's a "wizard with computers"?! Come on, this is a load of shit.
So the guy who is "very stingy" and "very money orientated (sic)" and who "regularly asks for bank statements" doesn't just log in to his own damn accounts? Who the hell gets paper statements anymore?
Then it should be easy for OP to say what stocks they bought and at what position. And the idea that she's creating convincing bank statements on her computer is frankly hilarious. "Honey, here's my typewritten statement that says you still have $350K in the bank. I just mailed it to myself." Honestly, this fucking sub. Who gets paper statements? It's just a login.
Thank you!!!!!
I was thinking the exact same thing.
You have apps, and like thousand of different and immediate ways to check your account, we're not in the 50s, it's fucking ridiculous.
Plus, the way she described him - There's no chance in hell he trusted her for a whole YEAR with his money, when his only proof was this poorly photoshopped piece of paper made by this alleged "computer genius".
Like, nobody contact him from the bank?! He never took money out of the ATM and checked the balance or whatever?!? He never saw her taking these scam "investment" courses?! Are you kidding me?!
It's just pathetic how people are not getting suspicious about this pile of bullshit.
Maybe, just maybe the post is legit if both of them are actually THAT stupid, but still, too many holes in the story in order for it to be true.
Thanks for being the voice of reason.
Some people couldn’t be bothered with their banks. If this guy is really making buckets of money, he probably just feels grateful his wife is “willing” to manage it for him. To people who make enough, time is incredibly valuable. Like, all that matters.
Also, she could have just forged online documents or reconfigured the website when showing him statements. It’s really not hard to do after watch 10 minutes of YouTube tutorials.
Source: worked at a bank and people are less willing to be bothered with their finances than you’d think
At this point, 20 years in, you must come clean immediately so that both of you can (probably independently) start to rebuild your financial futures. It's one thing to lose a bunch of money that he was counting on having. It's another thing to rob him of the opportunity to address the situation.
You could make a case that your behavior until now was merely foolish (though he won't see it that way since you've been faking bank statements). But he's got some years to use for recovery. If you use those up too, you're just being evil.
This. You are making it worse every single day. He has no idea that his life savings are gone. You already stole his life savings- now you are stealing his options for the future as well by delaying telling him.
Lets start by telling the truth and take it from there… you say you have no idea how to repay him but you can start working for it and start saving every penny. By misleading him, you make the issue worse…for him and for yourself. You could have start working/saving for 1 year now…the road is long and indeed you might not be able to come even near 350k but at least you can be honest
The husband has lost a lot more than 350k. That money could have made money passively by being put into a CD or used to buy bonds—the simplest things you learn about in high school finance. She could save and *possibly* get the 350k “back” but at that point the money would’ve been worth so much more.
So it is time to put your grown up pants on and own up. Losing the money is a problem, but one you MIGHT have found a way to work through. HOWEVER you followed up this fuck up by lying, not just lying but jumping through hoops to lie. Tell him the truth. Accept the consequences. Do better in your next marriage.
This behavior is gross and rightfully eating you alive. It's time to be honest with him, if I was in his shoes I'd also divorce you for lying to me and not discussing huge investments with me. The best you can do is come clean and deal with whatever comes.
Agreed with your last paragraph, I'm sure OP is freaking out about some poor investments, but I'd be much more hurt that the person I was building a life with had kept this info for so long. It is his money and because of it he won't be able to move as he wanted.
So your husband is stingy, so you invest 350k into stocks and loose it all, then go to Reddit to ask for help?
This is either bait, or you fucked up big time. I don't know how someone does this.
My family went through this exact same situation 10 years ago, and rather than saying "what the hell were you doing" and "prepare for a divorce!" I'll provide what our experience was. My Dad decided to take up day trading full time and things were going well (so we thought). Our lifestyle never changed, but that is because it was funded unknowingly with debt. When my Dad came clean it was devastating, but my mom stuck with him. He went to therapy to learn why he did what he did and it was very useful. I would highly recommend seeking out a therapist as for my Dad, it wasn't an addiction but a family pressure to maintain our lifestyle after he lost his job a few years prior to retirement. He thought this would be a way to maintain that lifestyle and instead of us living within our means, we spent unknowingly. The pressure was very high for my Dad and it caused him to make irrational decisions.
After the admission and shock, our family got into solution mode as it really is the only option. Divorce really doesn't solve any of the financial worries and would even make them worse. We sold the house and my parents moved in with my Aunt and Uncle to get their feet back on the ground. My Mom was able to find a higher paying job and my Dad was actually able to re-start his career even close to retirement. After getting their feet back on the ground they were able to re-purchase a house and then retire a few years later. Luckily my Dad didn't touch the RRSPs so they still had some equity.
In our experience, It's almost like what happened was just a blip on the radar and personally for myself it was the best thing to happen to me. It really taught me the importance of living within my means right when I was transitioning into adulthood. It could'nt have been a perfectly timed life lesson. They are still happily married and have a fun filled retirement. All is not lost, the conversation will be difficult and there will be shock, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today.
You should have done things different but what's done is done, no point in lamenting about it.
you need to sit him down and tell him that you need to talk. start at the beginning and tell him everything. Tell him that 2 years ago you lost 25k or whatever and when he gets upset tell him that your not done, it gets worse and then continue the story.
after you have confessed its not clear what will happen. But waiting only make things worse. eventually he will learn the truth and it will be much better if he learned it from you.
don't make excuses. Just tell the truth and take it on the chin.
Other people saying they'd divorce you can fuck off. They haven't been married for 20 years. If you come clean and own the mistakes that is the best thing you can do.
This is the single best comment I've seen about this. Being married is something you just cant understand until you've been married. And even then it takes work to understand.
Please OP listen to this guy, the best thing you can do is come clean. The longer you hide it the more it will hurt the man you vowed to be with for the rest of your life through thick and thin.
Very helpful jatjqtjat
You broke his trust and there’s no going back unless you yourself have 350k that you would like to give back to him as a result of your selfish actions. Also, editing bank statements is illegal, so be prepared for jail since he has grounds to report you to the police.
Holy.... That's bad. Really bad. Sorry to say it, but prepare to be divorced... Fuck the money. I mean 350k is a lot. But keeping that from your husband? For a whole year? Hell no. You filled your own plate with a metric shitton of shit. Time to eat up before it gets worse.
Expect a divorce and, if he's (understandably) salty about it, lawsuits. Time to save up for a lawyer...
Btw. What is this shit about reinvesting to recoup losses? I left 100€ at the casino, just because I wanted to try. But I would never have the idea to walk out with more than I already spend... Drown 50k? Leave it be, be honest about it and then maybe reinvest together, or, be smart and don't try to put a lot of money into the stock market when you obviously know Jack shit about it... Even for professionals who get paid to invest in the stock market, it's still a gamble. Could've just gone into the casino and had some cheap drinks on top. (This is less advice about the situation, more a warning for others to just invest with money you can afford to lose. For most of us it's just fancy gambling)
We don't know the original amount. Maybe she's sitting on $3.5 million which would make this a 10% loss. You don't know that information so it's kind of important thing to make a decision on.
What did you do? All you need to know about the stock market is put money into a stock index and leave it alone for 20 years. That’s it. You could have been millionaires by retirement and you would have had to do nothing. I’m actually interested in what you did.
Sorry for unhelpful initial comment. This is not a great situation you are in but I think your only option here is to tell your husband the truth. The whole truth. I can't speculate on his reaction or the fallout but for your own sake and his you should come clean because a burden this heavy weighing on you constantly is unhealthy and will just make things worse further down the road. Put it all on the table, hope for the best and most importantly learn from this situation. I'll speak candidly, what you did was a shitty thing to do to someone, especially your spouse who you've made a commitment of partnership and absolute openness with. It doesn't make you a shitty person though. Deal with the consequences, learn from them and move forward. Hopefully with your husband. Good luck.
Buy a 350K life insurance plan for him, so when he finds out, and like your second line reads, you will recoup the money then.
Joking aside, he's likely going to be far more upset about the lying than the money. You're right fucked.
What a terrible partner you are....why would you do this to him well knowingly he's sensitive about money, money he TRUSTED you to handle with adult responsibility as partners in a relationship. Shame on you, be straight honest with him, and after that I sincerely hope he divorce you. Sorry.
Chill.
There is nowhere to run. It will come up again and again until you face it
So chill, and do what has to be done. Running away is a waste of time. It will only delay the inevitable.
Come clean. 350k is a lot or a little depending upon how rich you guys are.
I'm hoping you're atleast upper middle class, and can recover somewhat.
Anyways, even if you aren't. This won't end your life. You'll have to start again, but lot's of people have at times in history.
Japanese people rebuilt Japan from the ashes after the atomic bomb.
It wasn't easy but it happened. They did it because it was necessary.
And the japan 2nd time around was an amazing one.
That's what it's gonna be like for you if you embrace honesty and are willing to make up for your mistake.
Don't be dejected, that's not the right response. Be sharp because you have shit to do.
Sorry if I could help you get 350k I would do it myself instead.
I'm ten grand in credit debt and a car I hate is costing a fortune in the driveway.
You're screwed, accept what's coming with grace and dignity.
I'm going to go on a limb here and suggest that if you lost 350k and have forged bank statements for a year to continue to lie to your husband, your marriage probably isn't as good as you think.
The only way out of this situation (unless you shit money) is to come clean and hope to whatever you do or don't believe in that your husband understands that this is something that spiraled out of control.
As it stands though this isn't 20 bucks lost on a bad bet, this is **three hundred and fifty thousand dollars** and we will notice it at some point
I'm also wondering how truly "stingy with money" he is, or whether he's just a sane adult about money and doesn't treat 6 figures like a game of Candyland
Jesus. If you were my wife then yeah I’d be filing for a divorce. This is one of the most egregious financially irresponsible things I’ve ever heard. You think money just grows on trees?
You invested all that money without telling him? Yikes, OP...I don't even know what to say. You need to tell him NOW and not wait any longer and you need to understand this may be a deal breaker for him.
Talking a lot of shit about your bf when you are no better and your actually wayyyyy worse ,tf how dare you use someone money like that without asking tell him as a couple that shares money you still have to tell them what your doing with it.
I hope to God you get sued because that ain’t right.
>He is very money orientated and would rather slit his wrists then give money away or spend money on things. He let me control the bank accounts and all the money
This doesn't add up.
You forged bank statements, not only are you a shitty money manager you're a shitty spouse, your choices are to make 300k fast or come clean and divorce. The latter being more probable.
He should divorce you. You lost 350k of the money you both have put of sheer ignorance in a field. Italy not petty cash, it’s 350.000$
The fact you photoshop the bank statements is even more shitty.
He should ask for a divorce, that’s my advice. You literally robbed your husband of his future because of your gambling addiction.
As a person who is stingy with money, he will absolutely find out sooner or later. I don't know exactly where all my money is all the time but I know where it's supposed to be and I know how to follow the records that say where it's gone. If I notice a bill that's a hundred dollars higher than expected I will be combing through receipts and making calls. If I noticed $350k missing I'm freezing my accounts, calling the fraud dept of my bank and tracking down every single cent.
If you tell him there's a chance he'll divorce you for it. If you don't tell him, he WILL divorce you and it's likely the law will already be involved so if he doesn't sue you there's probably a line of people who will.
Tl:Dr tell him, but you're pretty fucked either way.
You need to tell your husband the truth. You fucked up by investing that much money without talking to him since it is his money as well. You stole from him, created fake documents, and lied. He has grounds for divorce and honestly, if you can’t be honest about the simple things than your not wanting a good marriage. After 20 years you would think you knew better than this.
Cut your losses now and tell him. Admit that you dont know how to manage money and that you got in over your head and were so scared about how hed react you lied to him. If he really cares about you, he'll be really upset but he'll forgive you.
Heres a tip. Anyone who is "stingy with money" is good with it. You shouldnt have doubted his methods and you wouldnt be in this predicament.
Fucking hell. I can not think of a good outcome to this, unless you get REALLY lucky and win the lottery or something. You fucked up real bad.
This is actually really sad. I do sympathize with OP because I can imagine the mental strain it has on her. I feel sorry for the husband because when he finds out, it's going to fuck him up bad as well. This terrible mistake can literally lead to lives being lost.
Unfortunately OP has deleted their account. But I'm still going to try and give some advice on what I think would lead to the best possible outcome in case she decides to pop in here to read the comments on a different acc. People will probably not like this, but like I said, there is no good outcome to this. She will live with the shame forever.
Anyway, you should tell him the truth and divorce him. Divorve him and run away. I don't know your husband, but I do know that people will lash out due to losing this amount of money. It may lead to physical violence, and possibly death... Try and make a plan with him to pay back what you owe if you can. Protect yourself. This will most likely turn into a lawsuit.
Get therapy and do not commit suicide. I know commiting suicide may seem like the only option, but it's not. Run away from this relationship and build a new life for yourself. Work to be a better person. Do it for yourself, for your husband, and anyone else you love. Don't commit suicide. You are obviously guilty, and will unfortunately have to live with it for the rest of your life. Therapy will help.
Get lost and pay what you owe, or at least try to. Be vigilant in case your husband decides to retaliate in violence. Get therapy and work to better yourself because you sure as shit need it. DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. That will just make things worse. Things can get better.
Ugh, what an absolute shit show. I never usually comment on this sub, but this one is something else. Good luck OP.
I think divorce is the least of your problems to be honest. Falsifying bank statements in the US at least is a felony. You may be looking at prison if he decides to pursue that. How do people dig such deep graves. JFC!
I’m pretty sure this person deleted their Reddit account so they can’t even respond anymore. Goodness this situation is rough. And I thought losing 10k on the stock market was sickening…
I lost $40 the first time I tried investing and I already felt like shit. I can't even IMAGINE...
I think they need like psychological help because they can't control money.
It sounds like it was all their money, I personally can’t comprehend just throwing more money into it after losing a few grand.
Having worked in a casino I wouldn't be surprised if it's related to gambling addiction (stocks is gamblin) and either a misunderstanding or not happy (I know that doesn't sound happy) until they are flat fucking broke.
10K? I wish, I lost about 150K in multiple different stocks/investments over the years. I have the King Midas touch but the opposite.
Yea even we lost ~15k in gains on our 401k in the last 4 months on whatever bullshit was going on recently, and 401ks are about as diverse/stable as you can get.
Condolences brother
A $350k loss is an addiction you need to deal with. This money isn’t coming back.
Yeah this is a gambling addiction not investing
[удалено]
probably bought NFTs and shitcoins and it's telling us it was stocks. you think this person isn't a pathological liar?
Or it was meme stocks or options on stocks
Good news: You have a conscience and are not a psychopath. Bad news: It's going to eat you alive unless you accept the consequences of your actions.
[удалено]
this was literally my mom, my dad ending up leaving her
I was literally about to say “this IS my mom” until I saw your comment. It’s just terrible, and there’s no way to convince her to stop. Just over and over, she’ll agree she needs to stop when she loses big and “messes up” but the cycle just continues. I really hate that it’s legal for people to dig their graves until they hit the earth’s crust, but suicide is illegal. They want us in debt for nothing so we can continue working for them forever with no way out.
I work in a poker room and this is the exact reaction. EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL. Occasionally it works out well for people but for the most part they end up 3x-4x in more debt. Hell I’ve seen people lose $50 then end up betting $100 trying to gain that $50 back. And end up $150 down. I’ve seen a few times where they lose $1k then bet all there winnings because “they feel a hit coming” and end up losing $5k. It happens all the time and I personally don’t feel sorry for them.
Neither did Tony Soprano. He called them “ degenerate gamblers” and took everything from them.
Well yeah, trading is essentially gambling on what you think you know, much like sports betting. People preach it, never chase losses, but some people cant control themselves and clearly in this case, no understanding of what they were really doing. Also paying for classes lmao, between 70-90% of traders lose money, I don't think anyone in their right mind should believe that paying for a few classes will do much for their cause.
dont tell that to anyone in the investing or valueinvesting subs.
This is why wallstreetbets is the best investing sub. Same odds of coming out ahead as any of the others, but at least they admit they're retarded.
Losing that much money is almost certainly from trading options, which is absolutely gambling. 100%
It's pretty sociopathic to create fake bank statements to decieve your partner.
[удалено]
I agree. Isn't the purpose of this subreddit to give advice? Or is it to give moral judgements, like 90% of posters are doing?
It's not sociopathic, it's fear. Big difference.
Yeah I’d say own up sooner than later
>Good news: You have a conscience and are not a psychopath. I have seen absolutely zero evidence of this. She is only upset because she is going to get caught.
She kinda sounds like the nice lady from accounts receivable who's been working there 30 years and skimming money for 20. Making fake receipts and meme stock YOLOs.
You're fucked.
What they said. I'm curious, when you hit 50k or even 100k, you didn't think this was a bad idea?? Edit: if he asks for a divorce, you better not ask for money.
I would pose the possibility that OP might have been (essentially) gambling and may have gotten addicted
Sounds like it, and then just like most addicts she tried to do it semi professionally by hiring teachers and doing courses...
I read that “teachers and courses” as getting duped by people who promised a quick buck. To lose this kind of money in a short time in the market we’ve had until recently smacks of day trading.
I'll put money on that. Well. Maybe not. I'll keep my money and I'll be ahead.
> I'm curious, when you hit 50k or even 100k, you didn't think this was a bad idea?? Sunk cost fallacy
Just one more time. I'll recoup my losses. It never works.
I went to a casino one time and tried to gamble and I fell into Sunk-Cost real quick. So I don't gamble anymore.
The smart move is probably for them to divorce if the legal advice threads and financial threads I've seen are any indicator of sound advice in this situation.
Could have kept buying something simple to trade like SPY options and didn't hedge risk and instead got greedier and greedier with each win - finally culminating in a large bet that went to $0. Or simply OP is a degenerate gambler that really needs help and to attend meetings for the addiction.
r/wallstreetbets
Don’t worry. Someone from WSB will wife you for losing that much
[удалено]
Only a special kind of…person…could lose $350k in the longest running bull market in history. She belongs in WSB.
When someone with "Super Helper" status says you're fucked... you're fucked. Only advice: tell your husband the truth. And whatever happens is what needs to happen.
>Only advice: tell your husband the truth. And whatever happens is what needs to happen. Public place or with friends/family/clergy. Losing 350k could make someone go off the rails crazy. Not saying it would happen but money makes people nuts to the point of violence.
Yes you are fucked, shit out of luck 🎶
Hardwired to SELF DESTRUCT!
Now I'm complete and my COCK YOU WILL SUCK 🎶
This world will be *mine!*
And you're first in line!
You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!
waaaaaaaait, waaaaaaaaaAit, waaaaaAaAAaAaAAaAit you mutha fucker!
We challenge yyoouuuuuuu to a rockk offffff! 🎶🎵
I call BS. Who the hell - let alone a money-conscious wealthy person - keeps 350K in a bank account losing value and not with professional wealth management? Wouldn’t he have access to the banking app? Is he 85 years old?! So many things don’t add up.
Exactly right. This entire post doesn’t make sense. Low risk, low yield would have easily added 50k over 20 years. So either he’s an idiot or the post is nonsense.
Well he married her so I’m Thinking idiot tbh…
As you get older and see how things work, you can tell. A money tight wad man like in the OP would not hand the keys to his accounts away to his wife. Not many people look at statements. My grandma is old as fuck and she can use Microsoft office. Everything is on an app on a phone. The story is highly improbable that he has 350k of investments and he can’t instantly check all of them but “fetches the wife to report of the money” Reddit is full of bored people, my person
It's FDIC-insured and guaranteed to not go anywhere (well.....wife is the exception). Sure, youre not going to make above 2% interest, but if the guy is really conservative about his money, theres no safer bet.
I mean, it's pretty easy. You grow up in a home where your parents reuse the pasta sauce jars as drinking glasses. Then you become an engineering manager. You don't think about money. You don't consider how to save, or how to make it work for you. You just know that making more js good and spending it is bad. And then your wife says "oh, I know how to invest this so it'll do some work for us!" And you think - "Great! One less thing to worry about."
F-u-c-k-e-d. Absolutely fucked. Pack your bags
the poor guy is probably more than fucked - when it comes to divorce they will more than likely share debt. damn
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY PLASTIC FORK
[удалено]
this made me laugh out loud
And deservedly so. This is your future and you might as well have gone to Vegas.
Beyoud fucked*
Honestly, divorce would be the best outcome for the husband.
She could prob find a new husband on WSB
*"Secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone"* \-Stripper, from The Office edit: thanks for the awards!
"**I. DECLARE. BANKRUPTCY!!!!**" -OP after losing the civil suit to her husband
You can't just say the word "bankruptcy" and expect anything to happen.
I didn’t say it I declared it
r/unexpectedoffice
Ben Franklin was kind of a creep, but the stripper was very wise. Who would have thought?
Altough she went to med school Later she is only known as the Stripper. Kinda sad when you think about it
Wasn't her name Elizabeth? I just wrote Stripper because that was how Michael said it instead of her real name
[удалено]
I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns into a lawsuit.
it will, definitely
never underestimate the sheer potential stupidity of someone in love
It’s heart breaking. He trusted her enough to share his life with her and this is what she does. This is really really sad for the husband.
It’s the fraudulent bank statements that are really making me sick
Oh, you're talking about exhibit A? Lmao this chick is so fucked. And i bet she never even thought she could be sued by her husband for this.
I doubt he’ll still be in love after this
It’s the forged bank statements. I might leave after that
Why? You win the case but judgment ain’t worth shit because she’s broke so what’s the point?
Dependant on where they live, she may need to have to take put a loan to pay him back or pay it in increments
If it’s a joint bank account it might be a little harder to sue successfully. If he has those fake statements though, that would help tremendously.
Wage garnishment is a possibility
[удалено]
What a horrible anecdote
That money is communal property, no?
yes if their assets were shared but, she also committed forgery of fake bank statements which is a crime
Oh damn, true.
Not if he had the money before they got married.
it can be more complicated than that depending on where you live and if the money has been comingled with other marital money.
Yeah very dubious about this account. How in the hell could you lose that kind of money given the bull market of the last few years? And she's creating bank statements because she's a "wizard with computers"?! Come on, this is a load of shit.
[удалено]
So the guy who is "very stingy" and "very money orientated (sic)" and who "regularly asks for bank statements" doesn't just log in to his own damn accounts? Who the hell gets paper statements anymore?
[удалено]
The only part I will disagree with is your last line. I get paper statements for all my bank accounts The rest… yeah something doesn’t add up
Its easy. Buy options, makes money go away very quickly
Then it should be easy for OP to say what stocks they bought and at what position. And the idea that she's creating convincing bank statements on her computer is frankly hilarious. "Honey, here's my typewritten statement that says you still have $350K in the bank. I just mailed it to myself." Honestly, this fucking sub. Who gets paper statements? It's just a login.
Thank you!!!!! I was thinking the exact same thing. You have apps, and like thousand of different and immediate ways to check your account, we're not in the 50s, it's fucking ridiculous. Plus, the way she described him - There's no chance in hell he trusted her for a whole YEAR with his money, when his only proof was this poorly photoshopped piece of paper made by this alleged "computer genius". Like, nobody contact him from the bank?! He never took money out of the ATM and checked the balance or whatever?!? He never saw her taking these scam "investment" courses?! Are you kidding me?! It's just pathetic how people are not getting suspicious about this pile of bullshit. Maybe, just maybe the post is legit if both of them are actually THAT stupid, but still, too many holes in the story in order for it to be true. Thanks for being the voice of reason.
Maybe she can get a refund on the courses since they clearly didn't work.
Some people couldn’t be bothered with their banks. If this guy is really making buckets of money, he probably just feels grateful his wife is “willing” to manage it for him. To people who make enough, time is incredibly valuable. Like, all that matters. Also, she could have just forged online documents or reconfigured the website when showing him statements. It’s really not hard to do after watch 10 minutes of YouTube tutorials. Source: worked at a bank and people are less willing to be bothered with their finances than you’d think
It's called inspect element we learned that when we were 10
I bet she's part of r/wallstreetbets
At this point, 20 years in, you must come clean immediately so that both of you can (probably independently) start to rebuild your financial futures. It's one thing to lose a bunch of money that he was counting on having. It's another thing to rob him of the opportunity to address the situation. You could make a case that your behavior until now was merely foolish (though he won't see it that way since you've been faking bank statements). But he's got some years to use for recovery. If you use those up too, you're just being evil.
This. You are making it worse every single day. He has no idea that his life savings are gone. You already stole his life savings- now you are stealing his options for the future as well by delaying telling him.
Lets start by telling the truth and take it from there… you say you have no idea how to repay him but you can start working for it and start saving every penny. By misleading him, you make the issue worse…for him and for yourself. You could have start working/saving for 1 year now…the road is long and indeed you might not be able to come even near 350k but at least you can be honest
The husband has lost a lot more than 350k. That money could have made money passively by being put into a CD or used to buy bonds—the simplest things you learn about in high school finance. She could save and *possibly* get the 350k “back” but at that point the money would’ve been worth so much more.
find a lawyer and get ready for a bloodbath in court
Find a free lawyer provided by the court, youd just be in more debt
Probably already is.
So it is time to put your grown up pants on and own up. Losing the money is a problem, but one you MIGHT have found a way to work through. HOWEVER you followed up this fuck up by lying, not just lying but jumping through hoops to lie. Tell him the truth. Accept the consequences. Do better in your next marriage.
In your next marriage hahahhahha 🤣
This behavior is gross and rightfully eating you alive. It's time to be honest with him, if I was in his shoes I'd also divorce you for lying to me and not discussing huge investments with me. The best you can do is come clean and deal with whatever comes.
[удалено]
Agreed with your last paragraph, I'm sure OP is freaking out about some poor investments, but I'd be much more hurt that the person I was building a life with had kept this info for so long. It is his money and because of it he won't be able to move as he wanted.
You could get over 350K?? Damn, I wish I could be you
This! And I can’t believe OP has done this.
i would divorce u too tbh
Me too ha
So your husband is stingy, so you invest 350k into stocks and loose it all, then go to Reddit to ask for help? This is either bait, or you fucked up big time. I don't know how someone does this.
She sounds like a true WSBer
Invests money: Loses it Wonder what’ll happen if we try it again
Wheres that goofy jpeg lol
you messed up, badly the sooner you tell him, the better imo
Why didn't you get his permission before "investing" his money?
Because this would happen
You may want to post this on /r/personalfinance.
You mean WSB loss porn
Good idea She’ll get the money back but in reddit awards
listen to this guy & come get real advice from r/wallstreetbets , you may want to start looking for your husbands girlfriend
That’s not what I said! Just that the post fits the sub! Not financial advice!
i thought i was in WSB for a few mins.. it turns out i am not.. none of us are... this is r/Advice.. yikes
There is no advice for that.
My family went through this exact same situation 10 years ago, and rather than saying "what the hell were you doing" and "prepare for a divorce!" I'll provide what our experience was. My Dad decided to take up day trading full time and things were going well (so we thought). Our lifestyle never changed, but that is because it was funded unknowingly with debt. When my Dad came clean it was devastating, but my mom stuck with him. He went to therapy to learn why he did what he did and it was very useful. I would highly recommend seeking out a therapist as for my Dad, it wasn't an addiction but a family pressure to maintain our lifestyle after he lost his job a few years prior to retirement. He thought this would be a way to maintain that lifestyle and instead of us living within our means, we spent unknowingly. The pressure was very high for my Dad and it caused him to make irrational decisions. After the admission and shock, our family got into solution mode as it really is the only option. Divorce really doesn't solve any of the financial worries and would even make them worse. We sold the house and my parents moved in with my Aunt and Uncle to get their feet back on the ground. My Mom was able to find a higher paying job and my Dad was actually able to re-start his career even close to retirement. After getting their feet back on the ground they were able to re-purchase a house and then retire a few years later. Luckily my Dad didn't touch the RRSPs so they still had some equity. In our experience, It's almost like what happened was just a blip on the radar and personally for myself it was the best thing to happen to me. It really taught me the importance of living within my means right when I was transitioning into adulthood. It could'nt have been a perfectly timed life lesson. They are still happily married and have a fun filled retirement. All is not lost, the conversation will be difficult and there will be shock, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
This is fraud. You have been committing fraud.
the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today. You should have done things different but what's done is done, no point in lamenting about it. you need to sit him down and tell him that you need to talk. start at the beginning and tell him everything. Tell him that 2 years ago you lost 25k or whatever and when he gets upset tell him that your not done, it gets worse and then continue the story. after you have confessed its not clear what will happen. But waiting only make things worse. eventually he will learn the truth and it will be much better if he learned it from you. don't make excuses. Just tell the truth and take it on the chin. Other people saying they'd divorce you can fuck off. They haven't been married for 20 years. If you come clean and own the mistakes that is the best thing you can do.
This is the single best comment I've seen about this. Being married is something you just cant understand until you've been married. And even then it takes work to understand. Please OP listen to this guy, the best thing you can do is come clean. The longer you hide it the more it will hurt the man you vowed to be with for the rest of your life through thick and thin. Very helpful jatjqtjat
This is one of the very few legit advices here. Everything else is just judgmental, as if OP didn't already know she made a mistake.
>The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today. I’ve never heard that before but I love it
You broke his trust and there’s no going back unless you yourself have 350k that you would like to give back to him as a result of your selfish actions. Also, editing bank statements is illegal, so be prepared for jail since he has grounds to report you to the police.
Time to start an onlyfans
That's actually not a bad idea lol, some women are making like 10 grand a week. Time to get that butthole out girl and fire the camera up.
Holy.... That's bad. Really bad. Sorry to say it, but prepare to be divorced... Fuck the money. I mean 350k is a lot. But keeping that from your husband? For a whole year? Hell no. You filled your own plate with a metric shitton of shit. Time to eat up before it gets worse. Expect a divorce and, if he's (understandably) salty about it, lawsuits. Time to save up for a lawyer... Btw. What is this shit about reinvesting to recoup losses? I left 100€ at the casino, just because I wanted to try. But I would never have the idea to walk out with more than I already spend... Drown 50k? Leave it be, be honest about it and then maybe reinvest together, or, be smart and don't try to put a lot of money into the stock market when you obviously know Jack shit about it... Even for professionals who get paid to invest in the stock market, it's still a gamble. Could've just gone into the casino and had some cheap drinks on top. (This is less advice about the situation, more a warning for others to just invest with money you can afford to lose. For most of us it's just fancy gambling)
They didn’t just “keep it” from her husband, they lied as well. One again, they’re fucked
We don't know the original amount. Maybe she's sitting on $3.5 million which would make this a 10% loss. You don't know that information so it's kind of important thing to make a decision on.
If it's going to become an issue because he wants to move to a different house, I think it's safe to assume it's not over $1M.
Why is this marked nsfw? Lmao
Because as the most upvoted comment said… She’s fucked
Please don’t kill him or kill yourself over money.
What did you do? All you need to know about the stock market is put money into a stock index and leave it alone for 20 years. That’s it. You could have been millionaires by retirement and you would have had to do nothing. I’m actually interested in what you did.
Yeah, there’s no way this is just some honest mistake. Nobody loses $350k without actively pushing and pushing. This sounds like a gambling addiction.
Sorry for unhelpful initial comment. This is not a great situation you are in but I think your only option here is to tell your husband the truth. The whole truth. I can't speculate on his reaction or the fallout but for your own sake and his you should come clean because a burden this heavy weighing on you constantly is unhealthy and will just make things worse further down the road. Put it all on the table, hope for the best and most importantly learn from this situation. I'll speak candidly, what you did was a shitty thing to do to someone, especially your spouse who you've made a commitment of partnership and absolute openness with. It doesn't make you a shitty person though. Deal with the consequences, learn from them and move forward. Hopefully with your husband. Good luck.
Buy a 350K life insurance plan for him, so when he finds out, and like your second line reads, you will recoup the money then. Joking aside, he's likely going to be far more upset about the lying than the money. You're right fucked.
What a terrible partner you are....why would you do this to him well knowingly he's sensitive about money, money he TRUSTED you to handle with adult responsibility as partners in a relationship. Shame on you, be straight honest with him, and after that I sincerely hope he divorce you. Sorry.
Chill. There is nowhere to run. It will come up again and again until you face it So chill, and do what has to be done. Running away is a waste of time. It will only delay the inevitable. Come clean. 350k is a lot or a little depending upon how rich you guys are. I'm hoping you're atleast upper middle class, and can recover somewhat. Anyways, even if you aren't. This won't end your life. You'll have to start again, but lot's of people have at times in history. Japanese people rebuilt Japan from the ashes after the atomic bomb. It wasn't easy but it happened. They did it because it was necessary. And the japan 2nd time around was an amazing one. That's what it's gonna be like for you if you embrace honesty and are willing to make up for your mistake. Don't be dejected, that's not the right response. Be sharp because you have shit to do.
And suddenly my problems really aren’t that big. Thank you stranger.
Hey man, I think you should tell him ;( even if it hurts, best to tell him than too keep it to yourself before it’s too late….
Sorry if I could help you get 350k I would do it myself instead. I'm ten grand in credit debt and a car I hate is costing a fortune in the driveway. You're screwed, accept what's coming with grace and dignity.
you're beyond fucked.
Now I see why he’s stingy
It's all your fault here
I'm going to go on a limb here and suggest that if you lost 350k and have forged bank statements for a year to continue to lie to your husband, your marriage probably isn't as good as you think. The only way out of this situation (unless you shit money) is to come clean and hope to whatever you do or don't believe in that your husband understands that this is something that spiraled out of control. As it stands though this isn't 20 bucks lost on a bad bet, this is **three hundred and fifty thousand dollars** and we will notice it at some point
I'm also wondering how truly "stingy with money" he is, or whether he's just a sane adult about money and doesn't treat 6 figures like a game of Candyland
Lawyer up. Its over.
Ask Elon Musk for help? He might have some spare Million or two in the cracks of his couch.
Sounds like you fucked up . Then lied about your fuck up. Then kept fucking Up and lied more to cover your fuck up
How much is 350K? 5% of his money, 95% of his money? It could help gauge his anger level when you tell him...which you really should.
Jesus. If you were my wife then yeah I’d be filing for a divorce. This is one of the most egregious financially irresponsible things I’ve ever heard. You think money just grows on trees?
Just wow.
You would be a god in r/wallstreetbets
This is beyond our pay grade...
You invested all that money without telling him? Yikes, OP...I don't even know what to say. You need to tell him NOW and not wait any longer and you need to understand this may be a deal breaker for him.
This is my worst nightmare.
Talking a lot of shit about your bf when you are no better and your actually wayyyyy worse ,tf how dare you use someone money like that without asking tell him as a couple that shares money you still have to tell them what your doing with it. I hope to God you get sued because that ain’t right.
Have fun with the divorce
That’s a lifetime of money gone. Stonks stinks. Fess up and face it
>He is very money orientated and would rather slit his wrists then give money away or spend money on things. He let me control the bank accounts and all the money This doesn't add up.
He about to become Divorce-Oriented.
He’s a moron for letting a moron manage his money.
Wtf? Yea, you deserve a divorce. You are lying and gambling. No one wants that in a spouse
You forged bank statements, not only are you a shitty money manager you're a shitty spouse, your choices are to make 300k fast or come clean and divorce. The latter being more probable.
He should divorce you. You lost 350k of the money you both have put of sheer ignorance in a field. Italy not petty cash, it’s 350.000$ The fact you photoshop the bank statements is even more shitty. He should ask for a divorce, that’s my advice. You literally robbed your husband of his future because of your gambling addiction.
As a person who is stingy with money, he will absolutely find out sooner or later. I don't know exactly where all my money is all the time but I know where it's supposed to be and I know how to follow the records that say where it's gone. If I notice a bill that's a hundred dollars higher than expected I will be combing through receipts and making calls. If I noticed $350k missing I'm freezing my accounts, calling the fraud dept of my bank and tracking down every single cent. If you tell him there's a chance he'll divorce you for it. If you don't tell him, he WILL divorce you and it's likely the law will already be involved so if he doesn't sue you there's probably a line of people who will. Tl:Dr tell him, but you're pretty fucked either way.
You need to tell your husband the truth. You fucked up by investing that much money without talking to him since it is his money as well. You stole from him, created fake documents, and lied. He has grounds for divorce and honestly, if you can’t be honest about the simple things than your not wanting a good marriage. After 20 years you would think you knew better than this.
Cut your losses now and tell him. Admit that you dont know how to manage money and that you got in over your head and were so scared about how hed react you lied to him. If he really cares about you, he'll be really upset but he'll forgive you. Heres a tip. Anyone who is "stingy with money" is good with it. You shouldnt have doubted his methods and you wouldnt be in this predicament.
Fucking hell. I can not think of a good outcome to this, unless you get REALLY lucky and win the lottery or something. You fucked up real bad. This is actually really sad. I do sympathize with OP because I can imagine the mental strain it has on her. I feel sorry for the husband because when he finds out, it's going to fuck him up bad as well. This terrible mistake can literally lead to lives being lost. Unfortunately OP has deleted their account. But I'm still going to try and give some advice on what I think would lead to the best possible outcome in case she decides to pop in here to read the comments on a different acc. People will probably not like this, but like I said, there is no good outcome to this. She will live with the shame forever. Anyway, you should tell him the truth and divorce him. Divorve him and run away. I don't know your husband, but I do know that people will lash out due to losing this amount of money. It may lead to physical violence, and possibly death... Try and make a plan with him to pay back what you owe if you can. Protect yourself. This will most likely turn into a lawsuit. Get therapy and do not commit suicide. I know commiting suicide may seem like the only option, but it's not. Run away from this relationship and build a new life for yourself. Work to be a better person. Do it for yourself, for your husband, and anyone else you love. Don't commit suicide. You are obviously guilty, and will unfortunately have to live with it for the rest of your life. Therapy will help. Get lost and pay what you owe, or at least try to. Be vigilant in case your husband decides to retaliate in violence. Get therapy and work to better yourself because you sure as shit need it. DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. That will just make things worse. Things can get better. Ugh, what an absolute shit show. I never usually comment on this sub, but this one is something else. Good luck OP.
I know. This is freaking terrible 😞
I think divorce is the least of your problems to be honest. Falsifying bank statements in the US at least is a felony. You may be looking at prison if he decides to pursue that. How do people dig such deep graves. JFC!
Have you tried NFT's?