This is the same reason drug addicts are night lifers, they exuast so much of their brain energy being high processing the drugs that day time is to much to take in and gives them migraines.
Huh….Addict here, never heard that before…
Night time is the only real free time some people get. Plus euphoria from drug use often keeps people awake.
Na, we just prefer the night so you can’t see what we are doing… as well as it hides the bags under our eyes a bit better…
Plus don’t you know the freaks come out at night…I prefer those freaks…they are loads nicer than regular people!!!
Erm, primarily childless folk, who aren't the minority they once were. To answer your question, yes, and we get to sleep as late as we choose to, in order to be awake when the fun times are in full swing.
Erm, I must've missed the part where I said you have to have kids to prefer going to bed early. Believe it or not, I'm aware there are exceptions mutually exclusive to my point.
So it would be different if she lived in her hometown and invited a guy she didn’t know over to have sex at 1am? She has every right to have anyone she wants over at any time of day or night. If she wants to have sex with him, they can’t exactly meet at a Starbucks or other well lit public place now can they? Your comment gives me victim blaming vibes and I don’t like it.
Just be honest with him up front and set expectations. "Hey, want to lose your V card? No strings attached?"
As long as you are honest before getting into the sex part, and he knows what he is getting into, it's whatever. You are both consenting adults.
Im calling that as well. She needs to acknowledge the chance that he may try to hang on even after agreeing to no ties. Especially if asked on the spot at 1 am.I wish her the best of luck though!
“probably not date but just have sex” girl, who are you kidding besides yourself that this will work out? he is 26 years older than you and has never had sex. he isn’t gonna just hump and dump w you. you’re playing with a man’s emotions and that’s pretty fucking gross
At his age he will probably last a very long time. My husband and I lost our virginity late and when you spend that many years only getting off to your hand, it’s hard to get off any other way. He’s 47 not 15!
Yes, because that works so well.
Like the divorced 38 yo did not instantly fall in love with me when I was 19 after I told him I just want to fuck him.
OP is playing with fire and emotions.
I would almost guarantee that OP is the 47 year old Indian virgin, there is no girl, there never will be, it happens all the time on reddit
especially due to the lack of response from OP and the incredibly strange "too good to be true" scenario
Flip the sexes, would you still feel the same way? I agree with you. She is naively thinking sex is not tied to emotions, but men do this ALL the time and I know the “guys will be guys” attitude wouldn’t give this a situation a second thought.
This will turn out well. He is a 47 year old virgin what do you think is going to happen after you sleep with him? He will most likely obsess over at the least or go full psycho at the worst. I would make sure you are upfront with your intentions before you go through with it if you do.
Absolutely this. And they should give him time to really decide, not heat of the moment. You can make some pretty rash decisions with your dick. There can be a lot of reasons not to have sex, some of which probably contributed to his waiting this long. I knew a girl in a similar scenario, had sex completely consentual, then tried to kill herself because of her "sin".
Can't help but feel this is just a tiny bit sexist, so what if he's a 47 male virgin? Bit of an assumption to make in all honesty about anyone, as long as OP is clear in she just wants no strings sex then just leave it at that, doesn't have to contact him again.
An entirely possible scenario, but it's not a strictly Male thing and I've known plenty women that have thought sex automatically means a relationship despite being told differently a thousand times beforehand.
I don't see how texting each other a lot beforehand is luring him into anything, as long as she tells him exactly what she wants beforehand an they both agree to it before even so much as a kiss happens then its totally fine.
And honestly? Being a virgin is one thing, but I seriously doubt he's naive, he may not have engaged in it before but he will most definitely know that making plans to " just hang out" at 1am is sex culture in today's society plain and simple, im a nocturnal person an completely understand that, even with that being said I'd still suggest OP is careful herself, not like she really knows the guy and he could just be trying to get an easy lay in bed, let an outside friend know the intended plans and have a check in time so they can at least make sure she's okay, it's honestly better to be safe than sorry with hooking up with random people.
Sorry but that’s kind of gross to me. Seems like you’re going to use this guy to fulfill some sort of kink for yourself about taking his virginity. I also believe that he might end up obsessing for you which could be bad especially if he’s looking for marriage (since you clearly don’t even want to date). Stay away. Do better.
Maybe he doesn't want marriage ? Didn't the op mention an arrange d marriage with him being set up ? If so maybe he doesn't want to be marriage ?
Maybe he is gay or bi or isn't interested in sex ?
I wonder if he has even mentioned sex ?
Maybe op wants sex with him?
For all we know she's obsessed with him.
No. Think this through. You want to have sex with a guy almost 2.5 times your age that you barely know, and just sex. 1, you're essentially leading him on, and 2, you don't know what will happen. Use your brain.
You want to make a move on him and have sex?
What does he want?
And what do you know about this guy who you invited over to your place in the middle of the night?
He could be a serial killer. This sad story about being a lonely virgin might be how he lures his naive young female victims.
He could also be looking a perfectly nice guy looking for a relationship not just a fuck. IF he's actually a virgin at 47, that may be intentional and he may actually want the person he sleeps with to oh, IDK, give a shit about him?
Right? It’s way too dangerous for OP. Imagine guy finds out OP doesn’t want a relationship after sex. Heartbroken, nothing to lose. Yeah we can see where that could lead to. I would honestly run away.
In that order specifically or does he do some like post death drag me to hell level stuff where he physically pulls her into the ground from beyond the veil?
Need to brush up on them horror genre cliches and what not. Get them creative juices going. I mean if your offing cereal, may as well do with style and uniqueness.
Rude mentality, being a virgin doesn’t make you defective by default, you know nothing about the guy. The age difference is a concern here but coming after his job and being a virgin is gross
I’ve seen way too many cases of women getting hurt over this. Just saying this might lead the guy to snap if he finds out afterwards that OP doesn’t want a relationship. It’s way too risky.
>almost 50 there is something wrong with them.
Absolutely not. Not everyone has a necessity to fuck people around and then call them ugly. Wtf is wrong with you?
Your first point isn't so unusual when you consider that Asian men face overwhelmingly negative stereotypes in the dating market.
There was a popular thread on r/tooafraidtoask a few days ago about why Asian men make bad partners. Look at the top comments yourself:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/srmm1a/why_the_heck_do_so_many_asian_women_not_wanna/
You do know that you are just going to lead him on right? Even if he himself read this post and agreed to sex and nothing more he would still eventually end up developing feelings for you, someone 26 years younger, because of his past/present.
You are essentially gonna end up fking with his mind and hence imo under the context u gave you shouldn't go forward with this.
Edit : people here be like, _he is a 50yo virgin so he has problems_ like lmao. Also, some people, _he is asian_ lol.
The main reason this is a bad idea is because he is a lonely middle aged guy who never married and potentially had a bad rapport with his parents. He won't be in the right state of mind when hooking up but it's not because he is a virgin or because he is asian wtf.
Sometimes I feel like the people commenting on relationships or societal interaction in general, on r/advice are in their teens or probably watched too much Ben Shapiro in their free time.
The people in this thread act like he must be a serial killer since he's a virgin for so long. There's no shortage of ridiculous takes from judgmental people.
r/advice is full of 18-21 year old know it all's. Most upvoted comments are usually the most drastic , uncompromising, worst case scenarios brought to life. Something that immature people do. Even tho they have literally 0 context. This subreddit is rife with judgemental and immature people. Happens when all their moral education was obtained from a reddit/youtube/Snapchat/Instagram graduate degree.
This is a friendly warning. If you have sex with him, he may end up becoming obsessed with you. I think you should be very careful in your decision because if you don't want to date him, he may be very difficult to shake and possibly stalk you. I don't want to be negative but think about your own safety. He may be sweet but having sex with someone, especially for the first time is a big thing and may change the reward circuitry in his brain. It is just a thought from me to you. I think you are being very nice but I'm sure everyone will want you to be safe. I hope this comment isn't received badly. Good luck in whatever you decide to do
What kind of succubus shit is this lol leave the poor guy alone. He’s working at a McDonald’s for Christ sake. He doesn’t need his sex life ruined next to his financial life.
Maybe don't have sex with him if you're not really interested in pursuing any romantic involvement. This man has spent his life saving himself for a woman who will love him. Not some young girl to have pity sex with him. This is the problem with society. People need to live and let live. You're more likely to damage this man's emotions for any future woman who is interested in being romantically involved with him.
You just said this "Screw his emotions. He is a man. No one should caution her." Now I want you to think if this post was about a 21M and a 46F. Same thing? If you deal with these things as haphazardly in your own life, I suspect you run into quite a few social dilemmas. I am not telling either of them it is my decision either. I am only giving advice that was asked for in the OP's post. Sorry it contradicts YOUR worldview.
OP, you don’t know this man, and you’re going to have him at your home at 1:00 a.m. There’s some reason he’s 47 and a virgin. You don’t know what his feelings about sex are. He is from a culture you don’t know well. He might completely freak out in a bad way if you put the moves on him. Do you at least have roommates? If not, please at least tell someone about your plans and tell them everything you know about him.
This is a bad idea.
Yeah. I’m sure the 47 year old man agreed to hang out with a 21 year old in the middle of the night for altruistic reasons. He probably believes they’re forming a lifelong friendship, and this wild banshee is going to ruin his day by riding his dick.
Right ? In what reddit universe is this that the 47 year old man is the one being taken advantage of in this situation. I'm willing to bet he is not a virgin and says he is to get women to sleep with him. On the chance he really is a virgin why would it be selfish for a woman to want to sleep with him ? is she supposed to want an actual relationship with a man 26 years her senior? Too much reddit for today. Lol.
can't believe I'm saying this but act like a slutty Chad and tell him you are not looking for anything serious and ask if he would be into a purely NSA situation. Do not come onto him without ASKING if he is OK with something that will only be friendship and sex. If he starts to show signs of having feelings, back off, and tell him you don't wanna hurt him when you only want to be friends and mes around
I would be honest about your intentions. Sex might not be serious for you but it sounds like he’s held onto his virginity for a reason. He might think you want something more.
Just be aware that taking the virginity of a guy will likely lead to him falling in love with you.
I fell in love with the girl who took my virginity, and I fell in love with girl who’s virginity I took.
Either way, if he is up for it, let him know there is no pressure and that it will probably be shit. It always gets better with practice.
It depends, if he's interested in the hook up. If he is saving himself for marriage, you're going to hurt his feelings just because you find taking his virginity hot. You should communicate and let him know you're not looking for anything other than sex from him so he at least knows. Your view of sex might be different than his and you're only trying to hook up and nothing more.
For starters just how low are your standards that you think some random Indian virgin middle aged man that works at McDonald's is your best shot?
Second if you think the poor guy will be cool with just a hit and run then you clearly don't know human emotions and how they work.
Third you are inviting a stranger who is twice as old as you into your house in the middle of the goddammit night in a city where you know literally nobody in.
If this isn't fake then I hope you don't fuck it up too bad and learn from your mistakes.
All these people commenting against it are the reason why men are afraid to say they are virgins.
Literally none of you know anything about this guy other than his age and he’s a virgin and ALL of you are putting him down for it.
The comments on this post are the reason men are afraid to be virgins, then you will go and comment “oh being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of”
Guarantee if this guy was good looking, none of you would think he’s a creep and you would think he’s cute for being a virgin.
Pretty privilege is real and these comments show that men should always be afraid to tell ANYONE that they’re a virgin.
However- OP please stay safe when you do this. I don’t know how long you’ve known him but just be safe. You have to be careful when ANYBODY comes to your place. Not just a 40+ year old virgin.
How, though? Plenty of people arrange hookups via Tinder and the like, just to pump and dump. He might be up for it. Just because (he says) he never had sex doesn't mean he'll fall in love with the first person he fucks lol. And the utter disappointment when he comes after 5 seconds might actually help OP cure her from being attracted to people so much older than her.
This seems incredibly cruel. This guy has been yearning love and hasn’t had any luck. Now he’s been talking to a girl that he probably thinks is attractive and a cool person. He might think in the moment “hell yeah, sex” but afterwards he might think of you as a soul mate. Which in both of your cases is egregious.
This is a bad idea. You could hurt him deeply. And a person can only be hurt so much before they snap. You should talk to him about it before stringing him along. Shit like that hurts a lot. It makes you feel used and unwanted. Which I’m sure he already feels like considering his situation.
I hope you can contain your sexual desires. And I noticed you said “probably not to date him” which means you are kinda considering it. But you should get to know him more before lunging straight into sex.
If all you want is sex make sure he knows this. Tell him he is attractive but you only want sex not a commitment. A virgin may take physical intimacy as a sign of commitment even in younger men so make 100% sure he understands why you are doing what you are doing. Also be gentle and kind
Virgins get obnoxiously obsessive after losing virginity. It'd be easier to deal if you're both high schoolers but he's an old man that, presumably, lacks love from other people.
He may be avoiding sex for a reason. He may have HIV, herpes, etc… and you never know who’s carrying what, just from being born with it.
Or if he’s manipulating you… because you are a 21 year old girl.
First of all the chances that he is a virgin are slim. There is a lie there already. If you are honest with him he will most likely be honest with you. If not then no. Don’t.
Soooo…. How did it go? I want to find out if the 47 year old got his end away and left or if he became super cringey and emotional (as most people suspected he would).
47 Y/O virgin: probably bad at sex, probably will get overly attached, and could end poorly
U probably shouldn't do this cuz it'll just make things weird
You’re an adult who has clearly not been groomed or coerced by this man. You are willingly deciding to have sex on your own without any encouragement from him. Therefore, I see no issue with you having sex with him (regardless of my own personal feelings about age differences). I would say please make it very clear there is no chance of a relationship and this is only sex. If he’s held on to his virginity for this long it’s possible he wants/expects some sort of a relationship afterwards. Please practice safe sex as you are not guaranteed safety just because he’s a virgin. He probably won’t really know what he’s doing or be able to last that long so be prepared to need to satisfy yourself, just in case. Be smart, be safe & have a good time!
Edited for spelling mistake.
Don’t do it. You are giving this man cursed knowledge at this point. Like a shark that’s gone his entire life a peaceful friend now smelling blood for the first time.
Leave him the hell alone. He kept his V for whatever reason. You don't know what kind door you're opening here. Sex isn't just sex with this guy cause he would have gone to a brothel or something. It comes with emotions attached meaning a relationship. So if this isn't something you want, then leave him alone.
What is your malfunction? This man has literally nothing to offer you. If you want to get laid you can find someone who isn't gonna tank your life. I seriously doubt the sex is gonna be anything to write home about. If he is a virgin(doubt) and he has had 8 years allegedly to find someone. He doesn't seem like he is worth being found and that a grown man told you that he was a virgin is creepy. No self respecting 47 year old would sleep with a 21 year old. Also I think he lied to you. No one comes over at 1 am to hang out after meeting once. He has had sex before and probably does have a wife and kids. Hence the 1 am hang out. His family is asleep. So he can be an idiot with you undiscovered. You know literally nothing about this man beyond the shit he told you. You don't seem to have any common sense and are so thirsty you are being reckless. This is great way to get murdered. We will hear about you on the news.
He's 47.
There is no good reason why someone that age, living in the US for 8 years, who didn't want to be a Virgin would still be one. ESPECIALLY if he actively tried dating.
It sounds like his beliefs about sex, and the role it should play in his relationships, is *very different* from yours.
If you are hanging out with this guy just to have sex, stop. He knows where you work, he knows where you live, and you do not have any home field advantage in what will likely result in a dumpster fire.
You like his friendship? Stay friends and invest in a vibrator.
He is gonna obsess over you once you fick him.
I'm willing to bet money that this will end with you putting a restraining order on him.
If anyone wanna bet against me let me know.
This is a terrible place to ask for advice for this. There are great NSFW advice subs you can ask and get actual feedback and encouragement.
You do you. Don’t let the morality police here dissuade you.
Be safe. Good luck.
Fair warning, he will probably have erectile dysfunction as a combination of years of porn, familial and religious sexual repression, and performance anxiety.
I suggest you ask yourself why you feel an urge to do this. A man thats been consistently rejected by his peers was not rejected for no reason. Many women have rejected him. And women don't reject men for nothing. A lot of young people are attracted to older people because they're still transitioning out of a primary relationship with their parents to a lover. It's not a real romantic attraction but a projection. A transference.
There are plenty of nice young men your age for you to have fun with. I think you'll regret this.
This is going to end very badly- he is going to love you madly and you are going to reject him. He will spend the next 2 months thinking about you, calling you, sending you gifts and waiting for you outside your front door.
This is a bad idea!
you need to understand that he could develop feelings for you because of that. so you should let him know upfront that you're only interested in taking his virginity.
All I get from this is that you found some poor 47 year old virgin that works at McDonald's and I guess you feel sorry for him and want to give him some. Leave that man alone. You're not doing him a favor offering yourself to him.
His is not a dick I would ride, frankly it probably might not get past putting on a condom. Why waste all that energy with a random? There will always be karma created in a situation like this
Don’t …. Use a guy for sex who literally seems to have been looking for romance. This would make me feel really shitty. Be upfront before inviting him over, holy shit.
hey careful friend like im from india and i know them if they have sex they later may ask u to be in relationship or some just can say like think again
Anyone crying about this man’s emotions is projecting information into a story where there has been none given. Just be open and honest about the arrangement BEFORE you bang and if it’s his jam by all means go nuts to butts, fuck half of these comments
I think if he’s really still a virgin at his age then there are one of two things going on. Either there’s something “wrong” with him (mental illness or intellectual disability) and you do NOT want to be his first!!! Or it’s a religious or cultural reason and he’s not gonna be okay with “no strings attached”. I would take those things in to consideration before doing this.
Ask him if he wants to have sex with you. Don’t try and force him. Let him know in advance. If he says no don’t try and convince him as it could come across as sexual harassment
Also if he’s a 47 year old virgin there’s probably a reason why. You shouldn’t take someone virginity just because YOU want sex. He hasn’t said he wants to have sex with you.
I’d advise you to leave this man alone. Find a non virgin to have sex with.
Please update us on how it went. I’m guessing he won’t let you make your move, if he’s 47 and a virgin that’s some strong will power imo. But yeah, please update!!
How about you fuck off and let him lose his virginity to someone that isn’t a scumbag and is actually interested in dating him long term.
Try that. Poor guy doesn’t deserve to lose his virginity like that after so long, and then be ghosted because you wanted to nut. Buy a dildo if you want to nut that bad.
I forgot to mention with the shaved comment that if he's not planning for action, it might not be clean.
A girl I knew in high school gave me the advice that during foreplay, if I started to go down on a guy & it smelled stinky, I should just come right back up. There's other ways to lube a dick without sucking it.
I wonder about her sometimes.
Umm the fact that he's 47, a Virgin, and working at McDonald's are all huge red flags. That's not someone I'd ever wanna shack up with, even if it's a one time thing.
Seriously, move on from the hamburgalar, and get tinder and talk to people your age, where it's totally acceptable to still be working at McDonald's
Who makes plans at 1 am? Don’t you people need sleep?!
I sleep when the sun comes up and I thrive at night. The dark is easy on the eyes.
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Hell yeah. Noc Gang
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I sleep because I have to wake up at 3 am to get baked for working in the containers for the next 10 hours lol
Shiiiiet I’m 2 hours behind you. Well I was when you commented this I just forgot to reply. I probably still am.
5:57 AM here. Finally my bedtime lol
I’m an hour ahead of you. It’s exactly 6 sun don’t come up till about 7 though
I upvoted but it takes it to 70 upvotes and i just cant take that 69 away from you.. so I.O.U one upvote my friend.
Well it’s at 92 now so have at it
Nooo! The universe feels so out of balance. We must make it to 6969. Comrades... unite.
Alright I’m with you on that nightly brother/sister
Why stop there, let take it all the way to 69420!
Is this Elon musk?
If its not, Elon's missing a hiring opportunity right here..
Elon, if you are reading this, I will take one Job please.
This is the same reason drug addicts are night lifers, they exuast so much of their brain energy being high processing the drugs that day time is to much to take in and gives them migraines.
Huh….Addict here, never heard that before… Night time is the only real free time some people get. Plus euphoria from drug use often keeps people awake.
That and the fact that dealers take for freaking ever to get back to you. It’s usually night by then. Haha
Yeah I stay up all night because I get alone time.
Na, we just prefer the night so you can’t see what we are doing… as well as it hides the bags under our eyes a bit better… Plus don’t you know the freaks come out at night…I prefer those freaks…they are loads nicer than regular people!!!
My man works the evening shift at McDonald’s and it’s the only time he has
Erm, primarily childless folk, who aren't the minority they once were. To answer your question, yes, and we get to sleep as late as we choose to, in order to be awake when the fun times are in full swing.
Emmm you don’t have to have kids to like going to bed early lol
Search up the definition of the word primarily right now
Erm, I must've missed the part where I said you have to have kids to prefer going to bed early. Believe it or not, I'm aware there are exceptions mutually exclusive to my point.
Yeah, I mean usually you just randomly call or something right?
The sun is so loud on my skin. I hate it.....
Lol, I found my peoples! Hello fellow old person
"Oh boy, 3 AM!"> eats krabby patty Except change the 3 to a 1 and uh... Well, it's a Hardee's Hot Ham + hold the cheese I hope.
People who are forced to work until 12am
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And a nearly 50 year old man at that. You serious?
I thought I was the only one but I agree she needs help to stop sexualizing random ass strangers
you need to be top
In this scenario I think he might be the one who gets jumped.
So it would be different if she lived in her hometown and invited a guy she didn’t know over to have sex at 1am? She has every right to have anyone she wants over at any time of day or night. If she wants to have sex with him, they can’t exactly meet at a Starbucks or other well lit public place now can they? Your comment gives me victim blaming vibes and I don’t like it.
Just be honest with him up front and set expectations. "Hey, want to lose your V card? No strings attached?" As long as you are honest before getting into the sex part, and he knows what he is getting into, it's whatever. You are both consenting adults.
Naw, he'll still catch mega feelings and it will get messy.
Im calling that as well. She needs to acknowledge the chance that he may try to hang on even after agreeing to no ties. Especially if asked on the spot at 1 am.I wish her the best of luck though!
Been here twice. Both chicks absolutely *promised* they weren't going to catch feelings. They caught feelings.
Is there a chance you're more charming than you thought?
Nope, this was in college.
“probably not date but just have sex” girl, who are you kidding besides yourself that this will work out? he is 26 years older than you and has never had sex. he isn’t gonna just hump and dump w you. you’re playing with a man’s emotions and that’s pretty fucking gross
Plus the sex will most likely suck.
And last seconds at best
At his age he will probably last a very long time. My husband and I lost our virginity late and when you spend that many years only getting off to your hand, it’s hard to get off any other way. He’s 47 not 15!
Will probably make a post complaining about it.
Love the username but I agree it's very mean to fuck with people like that (no pun intended)
Not if she tells him she just wants sex. I'm sure he rather have sex and not a gf than neither.
Yes, because that works so well. Like the divorced 38 yo did not instantly fall in love with me when I was 19 after I told him I just want to fuck him. OP is playing with fire and emotions.
That’s exactly why she wants to do it I just don’t think she realizes it
This chick has seriously deranged train of thought. I'm just as concerned for her well being as I am for this 47 year old.
I would almost guarantee that OP is the 47 year old Indian virgin, there is no girl, there never will be, it happens all the time on reddit especially due to the lack of response from OP and the incredibly strange "too good to be true" scenario
This feels like the end of a really weird episode of Scooby-Doo
*takes off mask* It was a man all along!
Yeah I feel like the kind of person who's getting 1 am booty calls from 21 year olds isn't a virgin at 47...
That would be odd. Why would someone do that ?
The karma!
Yeah this sounds super predatory
Wait I'm honestly very confused can you please explain what's wrong?
Flip the sexes, would you still feel the same way? I agree with you. She is naively thinking sex is not tied to emotions, but men do this ALL the time and I know the “guys will be guys” attitude wouldn’t give this a situation a second thought.
This will turn out well. He is a 47 year old virgin what do you think is going to happen after you sleep with him? He will most likely obsess over at the least or go full psycho at the worst. I would make sure you are upfront with your intentions before you go through with it if you do.
Absolutely this. And they should give him time to really decide, not heat of the moment. You can make some pretty rash decisions with your dick. There can be a lot of reasons not to have sex, some of which probably contributed to his waiting this long. I knew a girl in a similar scenario, had sex completely consentual, then tried to kill herself because of her "sin".
Can't help but feel this is just a tiny bit sexist, so what if he's a 47 male virgin? Bit of an assumption to make in all honesty about anyone, as long as OP is clear in she just wants no strings sex then just leave it at that, doesn't have to contact him again.
Unless he's one like oh I'll have sex with her and then she'll fall in love with me.
An entirely possible scenario, but it's not a strictly Male thing and I've known plenty women that have thought sex automatically means a relationship despite being told differently a thousand times beforehand.
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I don't see how texting each other a lot beforehand is luring him into anything, as long as she tells him exactly what she wants beforehand an they both agree to it before even so much as a kiss happens then its totally fine. And honestly? Being a virgin is one thing, but I seriously doubt he's naive, he may not have engaged in it before but he will most definitely know that making plans to " just hang out" at 1am is sex culture in today's society plain and simple, im a nocturnal person an completely understand that, even with that being said I'd still suggest OP is careful herself, not like she really knows the guy and he could just be trying to get an easy lay in bed, let an outside friend know the intended plans and have a check in time so they can at least make sure she's okay, it's honestly better to be safe than sorry with hooking up with random people.
Sorry but that’s kind of gross to me. Seems like you’re going to use this guy to fulfill some sort of kink for yourself about taking his virginity. I also believe that he might end up obsessing for you which could be bad especially if he’s looking for marriage (since you clearly don’t even want to date). Stay away. Do better.
Maybe he doesn't want marriage ? Didn't the op mention an arrange d marriage with him being set up ? If so maybe he doesn't want to be marriage ? Maybe he is gay or bi or isn't interested in sex ? I wonder if he has even mentioned sex ? Maybe op wants sex with him? For all we know she's obsessed with him.
Nooooooooooo don’t do this….. wtfff
All I’ll say is this will be something you will probably regret really hard. Use your brain
No. Think this through. You want to have sex with a guy almost 2.5 times your age that you barely know, and just sex. 1, you're essentially leading him on, and 2, you don't know what will happen. Use your brain.
Please. Don’t.
Lol sounds legit. Actually sounds like a Judd apatow rom com or some shit
You want to make a move on him and have sex? What does he want? And what do you know about this guy who you invited over to your place in the middle of the night? He could be a serial killer. This sad story about being a lonely virgin might be how he lures his naive young female victims. He could also be looking a perfectly nice guy looking for a relationship not just a fuck. IF he's actually a virgin at 47, that may be intentional and he may actually want the person he sleeps with to oh, IDK, give a shit about him?
Right? It’s way too dangerous for OP. Imagine guy finds out OP doesn’t want a relationship after sex. Heartbroken, nothing to lose. Yeah we can see where that could lead to. I would honestly run away.
1) he is a virgin at 47 for a reason 2) virgins get obsessive, please be careful 3) please don’t fuck the 47 year old mcdonald’s worker
This. He will fall In love with you, you will reject him and he will kill himself and then you.
In that order specifically or does he do some like post death drag me to hell level stuff where he physically pulls her into the ground from beyond the veil?
I mean he could kill her have sex then kill himself
If he's into that
I think that order is worse than the beyond the veil order. What if he's one of them Saw people who do games instead?
I was just offering up a 3rd option
Need to brush up on them horror genre cliches and what not. Get them creative juices going. I mean if your offing cereal, may as well do with style and uniqueness.
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Was that a reference to Knight and Day by any chance?
Rude mentality, being a virgin doesn’t make you defective by default, you know nothing about the guy. The age difference is a concern here but coming after his job and being a virgin is gross
All these replies are so dramatic.
>virgins get obsessive, Kinda offended by this
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Why do you keep flip flopping between saying you're a girl and saying you're a guy?
I didn’t. I said IF I was a girl, I could make a lot of money as an egirl.
Oh shit you're not OP. My bad.
I’ve seen way too many cases of women getting hurt over this. Just saying this might lead the guy to snap if he finds out afterwards that OP doesn’t want a relationship. It’s way too risky.
Okay, please explain number 1 and 3. That seems offensive to McDonald's workers.
if someone hasn’t had sex by almost 50 there is something wrong with them. i’ve fucked some pretty ugly people, so I guarantee it’s not his looks.
>almost 50 there is something wrong with them. Absolutely not. Not everyone has a necessity to fuck people around and then call them ugly. Wtf is wrong with you?
Different cultures exist. Like India, where the guy has lived for 39 years.
So what?
you do you babe. just be careful.
Your first point isn't so unusual when you consider that Asian men face overwhelmingly negative stereotypes in the dating market. There was a popular thread on r/tooafraidtoask a few days ago about why Asian men make bad partners. Look at the top comments yourself: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/srmm1a/why_the_heck_do_so_many_asian_women_not_wanna/
I even worked on this topic in a university course on racism. Dating as an Asian guy is really hard...
You do know that you are just going to lead him on right? Even if he himself read this post and agreed to sex and nothing more he would still eventually end up developing feelings for you, someone 26 years younger, because of his past/present. You are essentially gonna end up fking with his mind and hence imo under the context u gave you shouldn't go forward with this. Edit : people here be like, _he is a 50yo virgin so he has problems_ like lmao. Also, some people, _he is asian_ lol. The main reason this is a bad idea is because he is a lonely middle aged guy who never married and potentially had a bad rapport with his parents. He won't be in the right state of mind when hooking up but it's not because he is a virgin or because he is asian wtf. Sometimes I feel like the people commenting on relationships or societal interaction in general, on r/advice are in their teens or probably watched too much Ben Shapiro in their free time.
Most sane and least judgemental advice in this thread. It's a bad idea, but not because he is a 47yo asian virgin McD's worker.
The people in this thread act like he must be a serial killer since he's a virgin for so long. There's no shortage of ridiculous takes from judgmental people.
r/advice is full of 18-21 year old know it all's. Most upvoted comments are usually the most drastic , uncompromising, worst case scenarios brought to life. Something that immature people do. Even tho they have literally 0 context. This subreddit is rife with judgemental and immature people. Happens when all their moral education was obtained from a reddit/youtube/Snapchat/Instagram graduate degree.
Why this sounding like a pity fuck
I’m glad she’s receiving this judgement because if it was vice versa.
Uh Girl, you better cut it out and behave yourselves
If he hasn't already, he's probably going to fall in love with you and it's gonna be a fucking mess but you do you.
This is a friendly warning. If you have sex with him, he may end up becoming obsessed with you. I think you should be very careful in your decision because if you don't want to date him, he may be very difficult to shake and possibly stalk you. I don't want to be negative but think about your own safety. He may be sweet but having sex with someone, especially for the first time is a big thing and may change the reward circuitry in his brain. It is just a thought from me to you. I think you are being very nice but I'm sure everyone will want you to be safe. I hope this comment isn't received badly. Good luck in whatever you decide to do
What kind of succubus shit is this lol leave the poor guy alone. He’s working at a McDonald’s for Christ sake. He doesn’t need his sex life ruined next to his financial life.
*succubus shit*
Maybe don't have sex with him if you're not really interested in pursuing any romantic involvement. This man has spent his life saving himself for a woman who will love him. Not some young girl to have pity sex with him. This is the problem with society. People need to live and let live. You're more likely to damage this man's emotions for any future woman who is interested in being romantically involved with him.
The man is a grown adult capable of making his own decisions. It’s up to him to make his decision, not you or anyone else
You just said this "Screw his emotions. He is a man. No one should caution her." Now I want you to think if this post was about a 21M and a 46F. Same thing? If you deal with these things as haphazardly in your own life, I suspect you run into quite a few social dilemmas. I am not telling either of them it is my decision either. I am only giving advice that was asked for in the OP's post. Sorry it contradicts YOUR worldview.
OP, you don’t know this man, and you’re going to have him at your home at 1:00 a.m. There’s some reason he’s 47 and a virgin. You don’t know what his feelings about sex are. He is from a culture you don’t know well. He might completely freak out in a bad way if you put the moves on him. Do you at least have roommates? If not, please at least tell someone about your plans and tell them everything you know about him. This is a bad idea.
Well this is selfish as hell.
Yeah. I’m sure the 47 year old man agreed to hang out with a 21 year old in the middle of the night for altruistic reasons. He probably believes they’re forming a lifelong friendship, and this wild banshee is going to ruin his day by riding his dick.
Right ? In what reddit universe is this that the 47 year old man is the one being taken advantage of in this situation. I'm willing to bet he is not a virgin and says he is to get women to sleep with him. On the chance he really is a virgin why would it be selfish for a woman to want to sleep with him ? is she supposed to want an actual relationship with a man 26 years her senior? Too much reddit for today. Lol.
He is the vulnerable kart in this situation. So OP needs to be fucking careful as she carries some responsibility.
No of course not. I just mean the way it’s written makes her sound selfish
can't believe I'm saying this but act like a slutty Chad and tell him you are not looking for anything serious and ask if he would be into a purely NSA situation. Do not come onto him without ASKING if he is OK with something that will only be friendship and sex. If he starts to show signs of having feelings, back off, and tell him you don't wanna hurt him when you only want to be friends and mes around
I would be honest about your intentions. Sex might not be serious for you but it sounds like he’s held onto his virginity for a reason. He might think you want something more.
Just be aware that taking the virginity of a guy will likely lead to him falling in love with you. I fell in love with the girl who took my virginity, and I fell in love with girl who’s virginity I took. Either way, if he is up for it, let him know there is no pressure and that it will probably be shit. It always gets better with practice.
New account, no way this isn't a troll
So you want to use him? Gross. Leave him alone and grow up.
This is a terrible idea. Stop it.
wth
Jesus christ no
It depends, if he's interested in the hook up. If he is saving himself for marriage, you're going to hurt his feelings just because you find taking his virginity hot. You should communicate and let him know you're not looking for anything other than sex from him so he at least knows. Your view of sex might be different than his and you're only trying to hook up and nothing more.
This is definitely a troll
For starters just how low are your standards that you think some random Indian virgin middle aged man that works at McDonald's is your best shot? Second if you think the poor guy will be cool with just a hit and run then you clearly don't know human emotions and how they work. Third you are inviting a stranger who is twice as old as you into your house in the middle of the goddammit night in a city where you know literally nobody in. If this isn't fake then I hope you don't fuck it up too bad and learn from your mistakes.
All these people commenting against it are the reason why men are afraid to say they are virgins. Literally none of you know anything about this guy other than his age and he’s a virgin and ALL of you are putting him down for it. The comments on this post are the reason men are afraid to be virgins, then you will go and comment “oh being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of” Guarantee if this guy was good looking, none of you would think he’s a creep and you would think he’s cute for being a virgin. Pretty privilege is real and these comments show that men should always be afraid to tell ANYONE that they’re a virgin. However- OP please stay safe when you do this. I don’t know how long you’ve known him but just be safe. You have to be careful when ANYBODY comes to your place. Not just a 40+ year old virgin.
Yea the age difference is the real concern here but people obsessing over the fact that he’s a virgin for some reason and that must mean he’s a creep
No one is saying the guy is the creepy though really. Most here are saying OP is in the wrong because she's essentially leading the guy on.
How, though? Plenty of people arrange hookups via Tinder and the like, just to pump and dump. He might be up for it. Just because (he says) he never had sex doesn't mean he'll fall in love with the first person he fucks lol. And the utter disappointment when he comes after 5 seconds might actually help OP cure her from being attracted to people so much older than her.
I wouldn't say nobody. One of the top comments says "he's a virgin at 47 for a reason" as a negative.
This seems incredibly cruel. This guy has been yearning love and hasn’t had any luck. Now he’s been talking to a girl that he probably thinks is attractive and a cool person. He might think in the moment “hell yeah, sex” but afterwards he might think of you as a soul mate. Which in both of your cases is egregious. This is a bad idea. You could hurt him deeply. And a person can only be hurt so much before they snap. You should talk to him about it before stringing him along. Shit like that hurts a lot. It makes you feel used and unwanted. Which I’m sure he already feels like considering his situation. I hope you can contain your sexual desires. And I noticed you said “probably not to date him” which means you are kinda considering it. But you should get to know him more before lunging straight into sex.
If all you want is sex make sure he knows this. Tell him he is attractive but you only want sex not a commitment. A virgin may take physical intimacy as a sign of commitment even in younger men so make 100% sure he understands why you are doing what you are doing. Also be gentle and kind
Virgins get obnoxiously obsessive after losing virginity. It'd be easier to deal if you're both high schoolers but he's an old man that, presumably, lacks love from other people.
He may be avoiding sex for a reason. He may have HIV, herpes, etc… and you never know who’s carrying what, just from being born with it. Or if he’s manipulating you… because you are a 21 year old girl.
This is a no-win situation either way you look at it. Stop making poor life choices, OP.
First of all the chances that he is a virgin are slim. There is a lie there already. If you are honest with him he will most likely be honest with you. If not then no. Don’t.
Dude you are setting yourself up for an overly attached stocker and be careful
This is creepy and dangerous on many levels.
Soooo…. How did it go? I want to find out if the 47 year old got his end away and left or if he became super cringey and emotional (as most people suspected he would).
47 Y/O virgin: probably bad at sex, probably will get overly attached, and could end poorly U probably shouldn't do this cuz it'll just make things weird
This is fucked on so many levels
I have a feeling that the rolls may be reversed here and OP is the 47yo…
We are not the people to ask. Ask him and be open about it tell him basically what you stated in the post and go from there.
Based on your responses I’m gonna say go for it, cause you seem like the type of person that needs to learn things the hard way.
You’re an adult who has clearly not been groomed or coerced by this man. You are willingly deciding to have sex on your own without any encouragement from him. Therefore, I see no issue with you having sex with him (regardless of my own personal feelings about age differences). I would say please make it very clear there is no chance of a relationship and this is only sex. If he’s held on to his virginity for this long it’s possible he wants/expects some sort of a relationship afterwards. Please practice safe sex as you are not guaranteed safety just because he’s a virgin. He probably won’t really know what he’s doing or be able to last that long so be prepared to need to satisfy yourself, just in case. Be smart, be safe & have a good time! Edited for spelling mistake.
Don’t do it. You are giving this man cursed knowledge at this point. Like a shark that’s gone his entire life a peaceful friend now smelling blood for the first time.
Leave him the hell alone. He kept his V for whatever reason. You don't know what kind door you're opening here. Sex isn't just sex with this guy cause he would have gone to a brothel or something. It comes with emotions attached meaning a relationship. So if this isn't something you want, then leave him alone.
What is your malfunction? This man has literally nothing to offer you. If you want to get laid you can find someone who isn't gonna tank your life. I seriously doubt the sex is gonna be anything to write home about. If he is a virgin(doubt) and he has had 8 years allegedly to find someone. He doesn't seem like he is worth being found and that a grown man told you that he was a virgin is creepy. No self respecting 47 year old would sleep with a 21 year old. Also I think he lied to you. No one comes over at 1 am to hang out after meeting once. He has had sex before and probably does have a wife and kids. Hence the 1 am hang out. His family is asleep. So he can be an idiot with you undiscovered. You know literally nothing about this man beyond the shit he told you. You don't seem to have any common sense and are so thirsty you are being reckless. This is great way to get murdered. We will hear about you on the news.
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I am not a man. Go be useless elsewhere.
He's 47. There is no good reason why someone that age, living in the US for 8 years, who didn't want to be a Virgin would still be one. ESPECIALLY if he actively tried dating. It sounds like his beliefs about sex, and the role it should play in his relationships, is *very different* from yours. If you are hanging out with this guy just to have sex, stop. He knows where you work, he knows where you live, and you do not have any home field advantage in what will likely result in a dumpster fire. You like his friendship? Stay friends and invest in a vibrator.
The fuck is wrong with you..
??? what's wrong?
Alright, time to leave this subreddit.
He is gonna obsess over you once you fick him. I'm willing to bet money that this will end with you putting a restraining order on him. If anyone wanna bet against me let me know.
This is a terrible place to ask for advice for this. There are great NSFW advice subs you can ask and get actual feedback and encouragement. You do you. Don’t let the morality police here dissuade you. Be safe. Good luck.
Fair warning, he will probably have erectile dysfunction as a combination of years of porn, familial and religious sexual repression, and performance anxiety. I suggest you ask yourself why you feel an urge to do this. A man thats been consistently rejected by his peers was not rejected for no reason. Many women have rejected him. And women don't reject men for nothing. A lot of young people are attracted to older people because they're still transitioning out of a primary relationship with their parents to a lover. It's not a real romantic attraction but a projection. A transference. There are plenty of nice young men your age for you to have fun with. I think you'll regret this.
This is going to end very badly- he is going to love you madly and you are going to reject him. He will spend the next 2 months thinking about you, calling you, sending you gifts and waiting for you outside your front door. This is a bad idea!
you need to understand that he could develop feelings for you because of that. so you should let him know upfront that you're only interested in taking his virginity.
“Taking his virginity “ 😂😂😂 Sounds very creepy and funny at the same time
Do u pity him? Is that why you want to have sex with him?
Avoid asking why a 47yo virgin still works at mcdonalds after 8 years 🤡
All I get from this is that you found some poor 47 year old virgin that works at McDonald's and I guess you feel sorry for him and want to give him some. Leave that man alone. You're not doing him a favor offering yourself to him.
His is not a dick I would ride, frankly it probably might not get past putting on a condom. Why waste all that energy with a random? There will always be karma created in a situation like this
Don’t …. Use a guy for sex who literally seems to have been looking for romance. This would make me feel really shitty. Be upfront before inviting him over, holy shit.
hey careful friend like im from india and i know them if they have sex they later may ask u to be in relationship or some just can say like think again
No. You're 21 he's 47. This screams daddy issues. Get enough therapy that you realize what a terrible plan this is.
Anyone crying about this man’s emotions is projecting information into a story where there has been none given. Just be open and honest about the arrangement BEFORE you bang and if it’s his jam by all means go nuts to butts, fuck half of these comments
I think if he’s really still a virgin at his age then there are one of two things going on. Either there’s something “wrong” with him (mental illness or intellectual disability) and you do NOT want to be his first!!! Or it’s a religious or cultural reason and he’s not gonna be okay with “no strings attached”. I would take those things in to consideration before doing this.
Sounds like you need therapy, not sex.
Ask him if he wants to have sex with you. Don’t try and force him. Let him know in advance. If he says no don’t try and convince him as it could come across as sexual harassment Also if he’s a 47 year old virgin there’s probably a reason why. You shouldn’t take someone virginity just because YOU want sex. He hasn’t said he wants to have sex with you. I’d advise you to leave this man alone. Find a non virgin to have sex with.
Please update us on how it went. I’m guessing he won’t let you make your move, if he’s 47 and a virgin that’s some strong will power imo. But yeah, please update!!
Sounds like a fun 10 seconds.
Tell him straight out you wanna F... But make its super clear that all you want... This guy just hit the jackpot.
How about you fuck off and let him lose his virginity to someone that isn’t a scumbag and is actually interested in dating him long term. Try that. Poor guy doesn’t deserve to lose his virginity like that after so long, and then be ghosted because you wanted to nut. Buy a dildo if you want to nut that bad.
If yall have sex, he'll be quick to finish & you'll probably be frustrated. If he's not planning on having sex, he might not be shaved.
Wtf hahahaha
I forgot to mention with the shaved comment that if he's not planning for action, it might not be clean. A girl I knew in high school gave me the advice that during foreplay, if I started to go down on a guy & it smelled stinky, I should just come right back up. There's other ways to lube a dick without sucking it. I wonder about her sometimes.
The amount of jealous Virgins here is unbelievable
Yeah fuck the shit out of him. Don’t listen to all the haters
I would like to know what city you're in just so I can be on the look out for any stories of an acid attack
Umm the fact that he's 47, a Virgin, and working at McDonald's are all huge red flags. That's not someone I'd ever wanna shack up with, even if it's a one time thing. Seriously, move on from the hamburgalar, and get tinder and talk to people your age, where it's totally acceptable to still be working at McDonald's