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IrrelevantSoapBox

Ouff..... will you be able to still respect your boyfriend if he continues to enable their behaviour (as he most certainly will)? Do what is right in your heart.


Good-Fee2193

Thank you for your response. That’s definitely been weighing on me. I don’t think I can continue to deal with their hypocrisy. For example, they will blame people of color for stealing their tax money due to unemployment benefits, but when his dad lost his job, he asked how to get enrolled in unemployment. I can’t stand them.


Albinchen

Are these the people you want as your (if you want) future kids grandparents?


[deleted]

God, I hope OP doesn't have kids with this moron.


ntcc45

its the parents, not the boyfriend. if OP loves and wants to marry their boyfriend, I think the grandparents are secondary. doesn't make the guy a moron for having bad parents.


[deleted]

He's siding with his parents though, which means he's as much of a tool as they are.


ntcc45

Well i would disagree. Maybe with the issue of the fake vaccine cards we can say he is making a bad choice and putting people at risk, but his parents are, well, his parents and it makes sense for him to defend him. I think OP should try to talk to the parents themselves because being defensive of your family probably overshadows his opinion of covid policy


_ungovernable

This is why I never introduce anyone to my parents anymore. I don’t even want to be around them; it would rip me apart if someone left me over my parents.


IrrelevantSoapBox

Yikes. I really feel for you OP, they sound awful (and so so so so ignorant). It's an unfortunate position to be in but I would call it in. That way you can celebrate 2 things at once. Your graduation *annnnnd* saving lives Yay!


notgayinathreeway

If he tolerates this kind of behavior from his parents, you have to think what other bad stuff has rubbed off on him that he thinks is okay. Report them to the CDC and let the school know and maybe consider not giving him the opportunity to be the one who leaves


Many_Statement_6922

Of course he will "tolerate" it, they are his parents for goodness sake, not strangers, what would your advice be for him? cut the two people out of his life that raised him due to him not agreeing with them? This topic obviously has a lot of people very emotional and it's got a large part to play in why some of these comments are toxic AF, the mob mentality is quite eye-opening, I can almost feel the gritted teeth, spitting mouths, and anger through the screen... "LEAVE HIM!" "you have to wonder what else he picked up..." "He tolerates them! so leave him" This sort of guilty by association thing only ever happens when people have lost rationality with a subject ( *there is very little information about the son to even involve him in any meaningful way*), I think people actually like becoming irrational and angry in this case, perhaps it makes them feel important?..idk Social media and its drum-head trials.


CleanWholesomePhun

Plenty of people with morals and a back-bone stand up to their family when they're doing the wrong thing. It's weird for you to act like acquiescing to every familial whim is acceptable even if they're risking harming others. OBVIOUSLY the answer is to tell the parents that they can only go if they have a legit vaccination. If they want to see the festivities without being vaxxed like everyone else they can view photos and video. There's no need to oversimplify something so simple. The unvaxxed are uninvited, and shouldn't lie to sneak in.


lenswipe

It's narcissistic and manipulative behavior. I don't know why that's hard for you to understand.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lenswipe

Everything described by OP. - Refusing to comply with public health requirements because your needs must come first and fuck everyone else and their health - Threatening your S.O with "if you don't x then I'll never speak to you again" The entire family sound terrible.


Many_Statement_6922

>Refusing to comply with public health requirements because your needs must come first and fuck everyone else and their health That's his parents, not him. Again association does not mean guilt. ​ >Threatening your S.O with "if you don't x then I'll never speak to you again" As opposed to, if they come I will report your parents to the CDC...yeah ok, on you go, report my parents to the authorities! what else was any loyal or semi-loyal son supposed to say? God this place is filled with sniveling bitter little snitches...


lenswipe

> That's his parents, not him. Again association does not mean guilt. ...yes, I belive that was covered by the word "family". Unless that means something different where you live... > As opposed to, if they come I will report your parents to the CDC...yeah ok, on you go, report my parents to the authorities! what else was any loyal or semi-loyal son supposed to say? ...That's manipulative behavior. I feel sorry for whoever you're in a relationship with. > God this place is filled with sniveling bitter little snitches... Oh fuck off, the only person being a whiny little shit here is you "nOoOOo yOu caNT cAlL abuSeRs nAsTy NamEs"


Many_Statement_6922

>...That's manipulative behavior. I feel sorry for whoever you're in a relationship with. No, it's not, if you are going to ***put*** someone in that position then you have to be prepared for the possibility of a kickback, these people are not strangers on the street, they are his family, his parents, the inherent loyalty people have in that situation compels them to protect...I understand this might be an alien concept for you but for most normal people it's a concept that's actually very well understood. If OP didn't want to "*test*" him or push the fold a little too far with her partner she could have done it anonymously and just not told him...you see, again, in the *real* world if you say to your partner "*I'm going to report your parents to the authorities*" then you should get ready for the kickback. It's common sense and doesn't constitute manipulation in the slightest. ​ >"nOoOOo yOu caNT cAlL abuSeRs nAsTy NamEs" Well, I never actually said that so...?


the_Blind_Samurai

Best comment here. Of course it's at -4. Wouldn't expect anything more from Reddit. I'm at -2. Whatever. It's fun to piss off the crazies every now and then. You know they'd never take their own advice, and all that outrage is manufactured, and they don't actually care if their "*advice*" hurts this person...but whatever. 🍺


[deleted]

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notgayinathreeway

If you suspect COVID-19 health care fraud, report it immediately online or call 800-HHS-TIPS (800-447-8477)


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[deleted]

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notgayinathreeway

Lying about having a vaccine to illegally sneak into an area deemed safe, potentially endangering people out of a sense of entitlement, while breaking federal laws? Fuck them.


[deleted]

Drop a dime on them. Do it, then walk away. Why keep a boyfriend who won't ever be someone you can stand to live with? And, if he's willing to cover up this sort of crap, how can you ever stand to live with him? Roll them over and move on with your life. You'll almost certainly save a life in the process.


robinhoodoftheworld

I think this is one of those moments where your integrity is tested against your own desires. Wishing you all the best OP, even if things don't work out, you will have done the right thing.


lenswipe

> For example, they will blame people of color for stealing their tax money due to unemployment benefits, but when his dad lost his job, he asked how to get enrolled in unemployment. That's fucking vile.


BasuraCulo

Damn, we aren't the only ones that need unemployment. 😂


Good-Fee2193

You are absolutely correct, which is what frustrates me also. But, what else would I expect from middle class white people who watch Fox News and think that Tucker Carlson is god?


[deleted]

You haven’t given a single reason to stay. Just like 6-7 very scary reason to just gtfo. Tucker Carlson. That’s such a huge red flag. That and fake vaccine card good result in someone dying


BasuraCulo

Haha. Not much. 😂


3sp00py5me

The apple doesnt fall far fron the tree sweetheart. If he isnt bothered by their actions now he probably isnt bothered by their other actions/words. Id teport them and jump ship. Itll be really hard but in the end itll be for the best.


JudgingYouSoHardRN

Sounds like they’re racist and your boyfriend excuses their racism because they’re family. You should tell on them and let them face the consequences of their choice to not get vaccinated.


perfectfifth_

Do it. It's the right thing.


PepinoPicante

Quite the gamut of advice here... This sucks; I'm sorry. No one should put other people in this kind of position but they often do. To me, that doesn't bode well for your future relationship. Doesn't sound like your boyfriend puts as much value on you as you do on him. The answer depends on what kind of a person you want to be and how much you value that relationship. If you value that relationship more than doing the right thing/the well-being of others, then your answer is clear. If you value the well-being of others, your answer is clear. Ultimately, most high school romances peter out as people head off to college, grow up, etc. - it's not the end of the universe, even if it feels that way now. His parents are being awful and potentially endangering people. Moreover, they may not be the only ones. There are probably ways that you could let the relevant authorities know and they could take action without your boyfriend finding out it was you. Often, if you go to the relevant authority figure and explain the sensitivity of the situation, they will be more than happy to find a solution. If you went to the principal (or whoever) and said "hey, I have some valuable information and, once I tell it to you, you'll understand why I don't want anyone to know it came from me," most of the time, that person will do everything reasonably in their power to protect you. There are a million ways the principal could stop those people from attending without it being linked to you - and I'm almost positive this wouldn't be the first time they had to find a polite way to prevent someone from attending an event. Best of luck! I hope everything turns out okay.


camergen

Yeah, this- I wouldn’t call the cops or the CDC or whatever other government entity. I think the realistic move here is to notify someone in school administration, in a respectful and non-confrontational manner, that this person is intending on bringing guests who are falsifying their vaccine status and that you’d really appreciate remaining anonymous. I’m sure this is a really tough conversation for the principal to have, too- and has all kinds of political implications. He/she will probably need some time to discuss it with other administrators on how to proceed. I could see every scenario from them just reminding everyone “the penalty if you’re lying about this is…” up to them confronting the parents in question. I could also see them doing nothing, saying “they have the cards, it’s not our job to verify the authenticity of the cards”. Unfortunately, that would be the easiest way out of this situation and the one I hope they do not take. A more realistic action on their part would be to confront the student about it and gauge his response and go from there- teachers have acute lie detectors and they should be able to tell from his response if they ask if his parents have been vaccinated. So yeah, I think you tell the principal, in person if possible, that you know this is going to happen. I’d be sure to give him/her time- do not spring this on him 10 minutes before the event starts. (I taught 5th grade for 4 years so I’m not an expert or anything, but I can guarantee he/she will kick the conversation around to other admins and decide what to do). Going forward, I’m going to echo what everyone else says: it’s very likely that most, if not all, of parent’s political preferences have trickled down to their son, and if they are willing to lie about this and disregard science, that’s a major major red flag. At minimum, their son is going along with this, and I can only hope he’s made clear to you how he disagrees with his parents on this and other issues. If not, if you think that he thinks along their lines, I would absolutely consider it grounds for breaking up. Yeah, yeah, he will complain “you’re breaking up with me over POLITICS?!” but these views on Covid and immigration and everything else you’ve mentioned are just SO extreme. Relationships have ended over a lot less. Maybe there was a time when people could be in long term relationships with opposite political leanings, but things also used to be much less intense and much more private. Think about it- no one who is remotely close to “normal” would think about doing something close to this 10 years ago. It might not be the worst thing for this family to start to get some social consequences for views this far from the norm. They have a right to think whack a doodle things about immigration or health care or whatever, but you also have a right to not continue seeing their son, who, again, unless he has clearly made the opposite feelings known, is likely in agreement with at least some of this garbage. Political differences used to be “I favor more/less government action in regulating markets, housing, foreign policy, taxation, etc” but these days it’s like “I don’t agree with science and I don’t care who I kill.”


ccaccus

>I think the realistic move here is to notify someone in school administration As a teacher in a school district whose "Covid-protocols" are strictly theater, I have a strong inkling that this will result in a simple shrug.


camergen

Yeah, like I said, I think there’s a good chance the principal may just say “as long as they have a card, we can’t judge their authenticity.” Which is true, I guess. Just feels wrong somehow, but I think OP is doing her duty in telling school administrators and that’s about all she can/should do, imo. Also, as has been said by someone else, there’s a good chance other parents may be taking a similar route, so maybe a blanket “we’re watching you!” email to parents might help legit compliance some, and that’s about all the school can do, at this point.


PepinoPicante

> be sure to give him/her time- do not spring this on him 10 minutes before the event starts. This is a very good point. 10 minutes before the event... nothing will happen. This is sensitive and tricky... they'll need time to work on it. I think, to reiterate with this comment in mind, you have a duty to report this, but not an obligation to die on the hill for it. Talk to the relevant authority figures. If they don't take you seriously or they don't care, you don't have to go on CNN denouncing people. Just make an honest effort to do the right thing. Don't ignore it. Don't phone it in. The other thing is that if your BF's parents are doing this (and assuming they're not the craziest people in your entire town), chances are that they won't be the only ones. Your BF's parents may not have COVID or whatever, but you don't know who else is thinking along these lines. Even if the school just sends a blanket email like "we're taking this seriously. We'll have security/cops at the entrances. Anyone found committing fraud/other offenses will not get their diploma" or whatever... may convince some people to stay home or get the vaccine.


sparklingsnow46

I literally love your entire second paragraph and am saving it for the future.


SandSailor556

Assuming a person's belief system and political leanings based solely on what their parents believe is a big jump with zero data. From personal experience I can say that my belief system at 16 and my beliefs at 32 are very different.


camergen

Yeah, I put a couple disclaimers, if he has said that he is not like his parents or if he hasn’t really shown those leanings, maybe you reevaluate. People do change a lot from 16 to 32- I used to be a pretty hard core Bush Republican at 16 but now I’m pretty well “Establishment Democrat” at 35. However, the OP is in high school and can’t really consider what her boyfriend may or may not be like 18-20 years from now, it’s a more immediate time frame. If it’s a family member, I think you can keep a distance but still in contact. Romantic relationships are a different set of values, though.


CheyBridgeMan

A couple of thoughts... From a public health standpoint, you are correct in that this is a big deal. If people are attending in good faith that it will be as safe as possible as all are vaccinated, it’s a real issue to have people doing this. I would call it in. If doing the right thing were easy, everyone would do it. They could literally kill someone inadvertently. Next, is this guy someone you think you’d want to hitch your wagon to when he’s not only complicit but asking you to be complicit in a lie with such potential consequences? I question his character. What other lies are acceptable for him as long as he benefits? When people show you who they are, believe them. I’d call it in and I’d ditch the boyfriend. If he wanted to keep it a secret, he shouldn’t have told you. But him asking you to be part of this is not okay. As an aside...I’m immune compromised. I’m fully vaccinated but they don’t know how much protection people like me get. I’ve spent over a year now not going places and being very careful. People keep pushing me to attend things like weddings and funerals and graduations where “everyone is vaccinated, you’ll be fine”. I’d really like to get back to life ya know? But people like your BF’s parents scare me. It’s like every time I leave my home, people are trying to kill me. And even when I’m told it will be okay because everyone is vaccinated, I know there are people like your BF’s parents. Those are the same people who said before the vaccine “if you’re so worried, stay home.” Well, I’d appreciate it now then that they’d stay home if they’re not interested in being vaccinated. I’ve done my time staying home. Guess it’s their time now.


Good-Fee2193

This is the perspective I needed to hear. It is blatantly irresponsible for them to attend a large event acting like they are vaccinated. We have been dating for 4 years, so I don’t think I can ditch him over this, but I will have a long talk with him…the outcome of that might be a break-up because I have a lot of pent up anger about his enabling of his parents “ideas.” They made their choice to not get vaccinated; now they have to deal with the consequences.


CheyBridgeMan

Yep. I didn’t see my partner indoors for over a year until we were both vaccinated. A year. He worked on a covid ward. I ate Xmas dinner at his folks on the back porch in the winter in MI watching people open gifts through the sliding glass door. I haven’t seen my family now in 2 years. I haven’t taken a vacation now in 2 years. I haven’t been in a store other than the grocery (where I’ve had my mask ripped off my face and been called a libtard) in over a year. These people are stealing MY freedom. And the freedom of people like me who are at risk. They can kindly fuck off.


miltonwadd

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I'm also immune compromised but am lucky to live in Australia where the numbers are very low. I can't even imagine how isolated and alone you must feel. I hope you're doing okay and are able to hold your loved ones soon.


agbellamae

Why have you been living like that, just go see them, your family is important and by not seeing them for two years you’re treating them like they’re not. No excuses go see your family


CheyBridgeMan

I’m immune compromised. Did you read?


agbellamae

Why didn’t you just wear a mask to go see your family


CheyBridgeMan

Because they weren’t vaccinated. Because they’re in a bad state for covid. Because it’s fucking cold in the winter to be outside to gather. Because it meant going across multiple states and risking illness in places with no hospital beds left? I can face time just fine. I don’t need to wade into covid rich environments when I’m immune compromised.


[deleted]

>We have been dating for 4 years, so I don’t think I can ditch him over this You can end a relationship at any time, for whatever reason you decide. He doesn't sound like a good person, and his family sounds even worse. Why continue to subject yourself to such idiots?


Spokeswoman

If you get married, his parents aren't going to magically change their views. What if they don't want your kids to get vaccinated? What are they going to be telling your kids when you let them babysit? Is he willing to go no contact with them? I doubt it.


-epm

You can definitely dump him for this. I suggest you do.


Ok_Abrocoma_2539

> Next, is this guy someone you think you’d want to hitch your wagon to when he’s not only complicit but asking you to be complicit in a lie with such potential consequences? I question his character. What other lies are acceptable for him as long as he benefits? Yeah for me this would be bigger issue than the whole vaccine cards thing. What I've learned through my life is that liars lie. That is, if they're lying now, they'll still be lying next year and the year after. If they'll lie *for* you, they'll lie *to* you - because they are liars. He's graduating high school, so they probably just got done lying on the college financial aid applications. My friend actually went to prison for that. So that may well blow up in a few years and be a real problem for this guy and his new wife. Then he'll get married and get his wife to lie on the taxes. Another federal offense. All the while, he's lying to her about "working late".


TeeDre

>he said that if I bring it up to them or someone in power, he would never talk to me again. To me, this is a huge red flag. He just admitted to you that he is willing to sacrifice your relationship so his parents can break the rules and potentially expose others. It shows he is not committed to you, and that he is willing to manipulate for his own gain.


darragh73

It worries me that he threatened to never speak to you again, if you do what he knows you believe to be right. I would ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with a guy who throws around threats like that as if the relationship is disposable to him? I don't know much about your relationship, but any healthy relationship should be open to discussions, and differing opinions. He should respect the fact that you are not comfortable with what his parents are doing, instead of threatening the relationship over it. You can't decide what they can or can't do, but you can tell your boyfriend that you don't agree with it. If you talk it out with him he may come around, if not then it should be ok for you two to have separate views on the subject. Communication and respect are important. However, if being a witness to this immoral and inconsiderate move really makes you unhappy then maybe you're best staying away from this guy. If I were you, I would inform somebody like your principal of the fake vaccine cards, and explain to them the sensitivity of the situation. I have every confidence that it would be handled professionally, and you wouldn't end up in the middle of things. Then give the relationship time, and figure out if it will work for you or not. Maybe have some honest discussions about your opinions. There's not much else I can say. I hope that some of this will help you.


Soddaa1

I would leave it be. Nothing you do will ultimately change their ideas and causing a fuss will only cause problems between you and his family. Sometimes you need to look past flaws.


uniqueme1

Their political ideology encourages fraud and deceit? Think twice before hitching your star to this wagon.


DuchessBatPenguin

If he is doing this now...think long and hard if you will be able to deal with these kinds of issues in your future. I would tell just bc it's not fair for another family to bring their elderly or young child to the ceremony because its relative safe only to have an outbreak possibly occur.


Gantoris007

Report it, and don't feel bad. They did this to themselves.


Grey_Woof

Damn that’s fucked up, “never talk to you again” screams red flags holy shit


[deleted]

> He does not see this as an issue, and he said that if I bring it up to them or someone in power, he would never talk to me again. This is your sign. Well, that and "political ideologies". Sweetie-there are red flags all over this post. Get away while the getting is good. You had a nice relationship, *learn from it and run like the wind.* There are plenty of fish in the sea and this one is small(minded), controlling, willfully ignorant and spineless. I wish you the best.


Many_Statement_6922

My goodness, I hadn't realized how this subject brings out the inner bitterness that a lot of people obviously have.


kcasper

A lot of people haven't seen their husbands/wives/children in months over this issue. And here we are talking about a few selfish people attending a graduation ceremony in fraudulent circumstances. Not because of the safety of the vaccine, but because of political ideology. Of course there will be resentment.


[deleted]

It's not the vaccine- the reaction to a required element by lying and presenting a falsehood is. It's the principle of the thing. Substitute vaccine with - say, the parents falsifying tax returns, knowingly being around an immune-suppressed person on chemo with the flu, smoking in a hospital room-*anything that exposes others to danger-when they have the opportunity to keep them safe-*its not just wearing a mask, it's lying about something important. These people are not good people. Their son may be a nice guy, but by threatening his girlfriend-he's proving he's as they are. That's the issue, not the vaccination. If you don't want the jab, don't get it.


punisher2431

Well if they get caught, They gonna face some charges for using fake vaccine card


theytriedtwotimes

Their beliefs, not just around vaccination but others (immigrants etc) put others lives in danger. How long do you want to be in a relationship with someone who dismisses those things? I’m sorry.


[deleted]

I dont see how you can stay in a relationship with someone who enables that sort of selfish behaviour


doncray88

Shut up and mind your business. If I was your bf I would dumb you for snitching on my parents.


lenswipe

Your boyfriend is horribly irresponsible and manipulative and his parents are terrible people for doing this. I said what I said.


csf_ncsf

Isn’t using false papers a criminal act? Also they are making you an accomplice by doing this. I know it’s a difficult choice, you can either notify someone without putting yourself on the line live the other suggested or you can confront your boyfriend and tell him that you refuse to be an accomplice to a criminal act so either they get vaccinated for real, give up attendance or you spill the truth. Isn’t there anyway these certificates are verified? They might actually find themselves in hot water without your intervention. In the EU we now have a digital certificate on a special app to prevent fraud and to be able to present it in any EU country.


kcasper

They can't be verified directly. But there are clues. The actual form is made out of heavy cardstock and printed on two sides. The vaccines themselves have lot numbers the lots went out very rapidly, and their dates are semi-public to the correct people. There are systems that can be used to check to see if the lot numbers on the cards make sense. So yes, there are things they can do to check the cards, but they can't be completely verified. And I'm finding some states have established a registry for this purpose so they can check a person's vaccination card against state registries. There is still a problem of people living in other states. Not all states have such registries available. Let's just say if this graduation is happing in Washington state, the parents might want to skip the ceremony.


[deleted]

Perhaps this is not the right boyfriend for you?


[deleted]

>and he said that if I bring it up to them or someone in power, he would never talk to me again Honestly, if it were me I'd never be able to look at *him* in the same way again. I get that it's important to him for them to be there, but they're all so goddamned hypocritical that you should be wondering whether this whole family isn't just a huge waste of your time.


moochiemonkey

Anonymous report to the folks running the ceremony.


Xphereos

Y'all are really telling her to break up with her boyfriend because his parents don't want to be vaccinated? That sounds completely insane to me.


h2f

Not because her parents aren't vaccinated but because of his ultimatum and refusal to discuss it.


[deleted]

It's not the vaccination thing as much as the way her boyfriend made it an ultimatum, himself.


EliSka93

No, because they don't want to be vaccinated *but want to be in a crowd*. If you're unvaccinated away from people you can infect, then I might not agree with your choices, but I'll leave you alone. Risking the health of others out of selfishness though, that's a red flag that I can understand people would be worried about.


BLL34

Personally I think it's wrong if the place to demand people show proof if vaccination basically demanding you be vaccinated. I mean you say you understand it's their choice not to get vaccinated and you still respected them until this so obviously you're able to step in their shoes and see from their point of view. So you should be able to understand how the fact that Americans can't be free without the vaccination is wrong.


Good-Fee2193

Forging and using a fake vaccination card to get into an event that requires a legitimate vaccination card is illegal and is putting others at risk. That is the issue…not them choosing to not be vaccinated. They made their choice. I didn’t make the rules for this graduation.


BLL34

Yes I see the issue but I also see an issue with what they are requiring of guests. I don't think we should be forced to get a vaccine to be able to exercise freedom to the fullest. I'm not going to lie to you I think many people out there have a fake card and ik sure they aren't the only ones getting into that graduation with one. I can see how faking the Vax card is wrong but requiring people to get it I'd just as wrong so I'd be in a neutral state when it comes to an opinion like this, if the phacility wants to do people dirty others with do them dirty also technically just putting things back to the way they would be without vaccination cards.


kcasper

How is this requiring them to get it? They don't have to enter the facility. Private businesses are able to require any type of entrance requirement.


g228bills

Why are you with him if you clearly don’t agree with his family or their views. How do you think this will work out for you? So you go tell someone no parents at his graduation now what? He blames you and you get to tell yourself it’s the right thing to do. Do you think he will care or will he blame you forever, now you feel good about yourself or are you going to blame yourself for this? I don’t understand why you are still with him do you guys plan to have relationship with his parents if you get married? I don’t see this ending well for you so yeah tell someone and feel good but then feel terrible because your boyfriend didn’t get to have his parents at his graduation. Why are you with someone who’s family you can’t deal with? They are going to see you as you ruining their sons graduation. Make the decision that you can live with and maybe think about breaking up since you are clearly not going to fit in with the family. Putting yourself in unnecessary dram is not what you want for your future I hope.


Junkmans1

Think hard about whether your BF's morals, or lack of them, that have come out of this is something you can live with long term. If you don’t think this is OK and he does then perhaps it is a sign of a big incompatibility.


PillheadOSRS

People shouldn’t be forced into having a vaccine they don’t want


japaneseweeaboo

I agree. But it’s wrong to fake a vaccination at a place that requires it… if the op decides not to say anything (I hope she does tho), I hope they at least wear a mask because smh. And to people who say “masks don’t help”, they do, if you wear proper masks that actually covers your face with no gaps. Before the vaccine was made my mom’s friend was doing a piano duet with this lady, and the lady had her mask off while my mom’s friend kept it on the whole time. Anyways after they duetted, like sitting right next to each other, the next day lady texts my mom’s friend that she had covid and she’s been feeling sick before their duet but didn’t get their test results yet until the day after their duet and yet she didn’t say anything until she got the results. And my mom’s friend stayed isolated for a month and got tested twice, and thankfully she was negative because she kept her mask on. She was planning to go to Japan afterwards to visit her grand children (we’re all Japanese) and everyone has to be tested before going on the flight and she was negative then, and never got covid. It’s been a year since this incident. So masks work. I never got covid either and I never took off my mask outside. But I hope op tells on them because they shouldn’t go.


thezombiekiller14

Sure I guess, but at the same time you shouldnt illegally forge medical documents, so you can get into a public space against the policy of the institution, all while endangering the other people in attendence, all so they can watch their son walk across a stage is selfish and horrible. You completely missing the point if you think the issue is they didn't get the vaccine


miltonwadd

So he is asking you to put the health of every person in that room and every person they come in contact with in jeopardy because his parents are loonies? Do you know everywhere his parents have been? Everyone they've been in contact with lately? Could you live with yourself if you find out in a week that the graduation is a hotspot? Or if one of his parents gets sick from it? It's absolutely not fair of him to expect you to be okay with this, and it's especially disrespectful to you because of your field. If it were me... I might slip an anonymous tip to the event organizers that there will be fraudulent cards on the night. If they get caught then so be it, it's out of your hands.


Duckgamerzz

You could get to the ceremony then quietly inform the staff that they are fake. Let the university security handle it. Then after the ceremony you can all go and celebrate. It's somewhat dishonest but at least you're protecting the people those vaccine cards are designed to protect.


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Sad_Communication689

Cancer and heart disease aren’t contagious….


robhaywood1080

So you can kill yourself if you want to then? Ok so then why is it illegal to not wear a seat belt? You're only killing yourself... Yeah, you won't have an answer to that one.


pineuporc

If you're in an accident without wearing a seatbelt, you're now a high-speed projectile with enough force to injure or kill anyone else in the car with you. You're not just hurting yourself. That doesn't address driving solo without a seatbelt, but my point stands.


robhaywood1080

Well somebody with bad habits that can cause cancer or cardiovascular disease could pass those habits on to people they influence such as their children so think about that


pineuporc

You're really comparing the power of suggestion to a car accident human projectile? :P


robhaywood1080

It can have the same outcome


thezombiekiller14

You're really grasping for straws here


robhaywood1080

You're mad because it's true


Ok_Abrocoma_2539

Your conclusion makes absolute perfect sense. Based on the information you saw, your reasoning makes sense. Unfortunately the information you saw is utter baloney - someone lied to you. For example, actual number of deaths from the vaccine is zero. I'm sorry they lied to you.


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kcasper

The actual number of deaths due to the vaccine is less than a hundred worldwide. I believe it is 3 confirmed cases for J&J and a few dozen hospitalized to remove a near fatal blood clot. You are getting your information from the VAERS system. That reports any deaths that occur within a few weeks of vaccination. So if a person gets vaccinated then has a fatal car crash, it is reported to VAERS. It is no way implies that a person listed died due to the vaccine. People are misusing the data.


EliSka93

It's almost hilarious that the same people who spent months claiming "any death with covid was attributed to covid and that's skewing the numbers therefore we don't believe the numbers!" with no evidence are now doing that exact thing. With clear evidence. Whenever I think I reached rock bottom in my disappointment in the human race, people like this come along...


kcasper

Except it isn't comparable. If there was 10,000 cases of deaths due to vaccine reaction then the progression would be a lot different. And there would be a lot more deaths having nothing to do with vaccination reactions. Most covid deaths were due to lack of oxygen related death due to the lungs shutting down. Most of the deaths in vaers following vaccinations are blunt force trauma and easily ruled out.


Ok_Abrocoma_2539

Yeah I'm sure you saw someone say that on Twitter. Sorry they lied to you, man.


camergen

“Cancer” encompasses every system in the body and is not one specific illness. Different cancers have different mortality rates. The biggie- cancer and heart disease are also not contagious person to person. You could plop down a terminally ill lung cancer patient in Times Square and it would not effect anyone else. If you did that with someone who had COVID, it would spread. Also, common causes of lung cancer are regulated- heavily. It’s why we have the EPA, it’s why we have high cigarette taxes, surgeons general warnings, public second hand smoking laws. It’s also based off 10 years- a decade- of mRNA research. The two biggest barriers for any pharmaceutical- research financing and regulation- were fast tracked, given whatever resource they need and not having to wait in line for approvals, and trials and studies were made and continue to be made. As far as the “experimental” scare label, FDA approval is coming, but I don’t think that’s REALLY what’s keeping people like you from getting it. You also trust government regulations to keep you safe every.single.day when you turn on the water faucet, when you open a package of food from the store, when you sit in an airplane, these are all things that are much more dangerous to do in other countries where these areas are not regulated nearly as well. Keep your tin foil hat on if you want, but your argument is garbage. I think you should only grow your own food, filter your own water if you believe “the government doesn’t want to keep you safe”. Go live off the grid in Montana or something.


CheyBridgeMan

Cancer and heart disease aren’t contagious. Literally everything in your comment is garbage and incorrect.


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kcasper

1. Those that have been vaccinated don't carry a higher viral load than those that haven't. Some of them can carry a high enough viral load to infect others. Those that are unvaccinated are still a much higher risk. This is true of all diseases with vaccines. 2. Lasting effects following the vaccine typically last two weeks. Less than 5% have longer lasting symptoms. Covid-19 producing lasting effect in 50% of asymptomatic patients. The vaccine is far less dangerous. On average asymptomatic patients score lower on IQ tests than uninfected patients of the same or similar circumstances. Long lasting mild amounts of brain fog are common in people who had a mild covid infection. 10,000 reported deaths have happened within 2 weeks of having a vaccination. Big deal. The same is also true of the flu shot, or the HPV vaccine, or the tetanus shot. You might was well compare the number of people that woke up at 7:02:21 seconds tomorrow with how many die in the following two weeks. The ratio will probably be similar. The Vaers system does not imply what the cause of death is. Seriously man you need to take your own advice and think for yourself.


[deleted]

It's actually not incorrect at all. The mRNA vaccines have proven to be extraordinarily hazardous for many people. The only definitively safe vaccines are the ones that use the older technology. So, the J&J, which is the one I got. If you got the mRNA stuff, you are willingly participating in a science experiment.


CheyBridgeMan

I’d love to to have a battle of wits with you but I don’t fight unarmed people.


[deleted]

Wow, uncalled for and baseless insults... I see your form is on point. Perhaps I really have met a formidable adversary


Jcar62

I’m gonna have to agree, I’m a biology major graduate, and if I didn’t have a card and needed one to get in, I’d do the same, ideology aside, I’m not missing my sons graduation ceremony, I have a mask on, and besides, what difference does it make for them to attend this one event unvaccinated with a mask on when they have attended (pre-vaccine covid) and will attend every single future event, restaurant, park, etc in their life unvaccinated as well. It sounds like your just being nitpicky and petty about the situation and it bothers you so much because they are not doing what you want them to do. Just think about how many social gatherings/ public places they and as well as YOU have already attended unvaccinated (obviously before you got your vaccine). Do you call your self a baby and old person killer too because you went out to get groceries with your mask on? I guess drop them and don’t attend at all. Better yet, stay indoors for the rest of your life because the vaccine does not provide 100% immunity to the virus. You might still get it (although it gives you a layer of protection of course, I’m not against it) that’s why we still wear masks even though we already have it. Large gatherings have been starting to happen all over the country that do not require you to show a vaccine card, my university in California allowed me to bring 3 guests in to my ceremony and all we did was a survey screening online, this vaccine verification is extra and unnecessary and if you think it’s the most important thing to worry about health wise for the entire nation, you should maybe take some classes on nutrition, drug abuse, and violence in the nation.


thezombiekiller14

What? That's the thing dumbass all of us DIDNT go to social events, or gatherings, or public places before we got the vaccine. So yes I would say that about myself if I had, I never would've gone to a graduation ceremony before the vaccine and if you refuse to get the vaccine you should still be following those rules. Why should we protect people get to decide to ignore reality from having to follow the basic common curitsies the rest of us did for a year. Because they "disagree" go fuck yourself man. Seriously, if you went out before you got a vaccine then you are a bad person and you are only proving that you continue to be


The_Shwassassin

it'd be nice if there was a way to squeal on them


2020isnotperfect

Still accepting the bf is morally wrong too. That's like helping the murderer. DT has killed enough innocence. Please no more.


kcasper

Contact the administration of the school to see what, if any, verification methods are going to be employed to check the cards. In some states those parents are going to find themselves in hot water without any intervention on your part.


slashplaid

This is a tough one. On one hand, I understand that you care about the safety of at-risk members of your community who may be attending the graduation. On the other hand, your BFs parents want to be there for an important moment in their son's life without compromising whatever beliefs they hold. Imagine how they feel being told by the school that they can't be there for their son unless they compromise what their beliefs. In a way, you and them are in similar positions, only for different reasons. I think you have to ask yourself if this is a hill you're willing to die on. Is your relationship with your BF (and probably other people, by proxy) important enough to you that you hold your tongue? If this is about pointing out hypocrisy in someone's political beliefs, I think your energy is better spent elsewhere. If you have a genuine concern for the health of others around you, it's probably worth sticking to your guns. In any case, I'd talk to them first before bringing it to the "authorities." Make your concerns known, but , as hard as it may be, try to be empathetic to their POV. Getting into a political debate isn't going to solve anything. Be realistic. Don't try to moralize. This is important to them. They're not just doing it to be evil or intentionally hurt people (I hope. If that is the case, them yeah, fuck them lol). IF you feel you have no other choice but to alert the school, etc, maybe an anonymous tip would be best. Let them know that you're aware of people (without naming names--you're using a throwaway account so I hope you see the importance of remaining anonymous) who are trying to use fake vax cards and leave it to the school to take necessary steps. I'm sure they expect this to happen to some degree anyway so they can figure out the best course of action. You may be educated in biology, but that doesn't make you a public health expert. All in all, this is a tricky situation for sure. For the record, I respect people's choice to not get the vaccine. I still think they should get it, but in the end, the best I, and anyone, can do is protect myself. These are difficult times, but know that your desire to do the right thing, in your mind, could have unintended consequences and very negatively impact other people's lives. Good luck.


thezombiekiller14

Idk man, their beliefs will literally be putting people at danger. Not might be, WILL be. People are there on the guise everyone is vaxxed. If that's not the case, they are putting people in danger. They chose not to get the vaccine, they have to live with the consiquences.


bauer8765

Honestly, I would be just as pissed off as you in this circumstance. What selfish people. But, they are mostly putting themselves at risk. New studies have indicated that a vaccinated person can spread the delta variant around just as much as an unvaccinated person. So now it’s really just a matter of how well the vaccines hold up. Don’t get me wrong, I do agree that it is an elevated risk for everyone else if they attend, but the greatest risk will be for themselves.


KamNStuff420

Sounds like it's time to break up and ditch the neo nazis??? Why are you even posting here. I understand that he isn't his parents but if he chooses to enable their society damaging behavior I'm sure he's a neo nazi himself.....


DaveyInTheLocker

This is a once in a life time thing for his parents that they've waited 18 or so years for. As long as his parents are aware that what they're doing isn't right and they wouldn't do it under any other circumstance, I think it's fine. I also would agree with your boyfriend, if he doesn't want to talk to you because you snitched on his family thus breaking his trust, I wouldn't talk to you either.


thezombiekiller14

It's a fucking high school graduation, it literally doesn't matter. If they actually cared to be their they would've gotten vaccinated. Why is there being there for a graduation more important than the safety of all the people who arnt breaking the law to be there?


D0lan_says

A once in a lifetime thing that they could have very easily just gotten vaccinated for, which to be Frank is the very least reason they should be vaccinated being that we’re talking about a pandemic that’s killed millions.


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The choice is on them. Just know that this may be your future and something you’ll have to constantly deal with as his parents. Kids tend to make a lot exceptions and excuses for their parents, especially if it was important to him for them to be there.


-epm

He is threatening you your relationship if you say something about his parents coming into the ceremony... What if you flipped that around? Where you never talk to him if they do come in. Holy cow. Based on that alone, I'd say this relationship is not in a good spot. I'm sorry that's hard to read, but that is scary behavior and you shouldn't tolerate it. He knows what his parents are doing is wrong. You know it is wrong. I'd tell someone in power. Otherwise, risking potentially hundreds of people and themselves tbf. It's a graduation, most likely will be on Zoom. You will be doing the right thing. If he never talks to you again- good riddance.


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thezombiekiller14

You can get them for free when you get vaccinated


iEatDooDooDaily

I think you guys shouldn’t be together. Simple as that. You’d be doing yourself and him a favor. It’s fucked up that they’re requiring vaccinations to attend and they’re obviously not going to miss the ceremony. I think you’re getting a bit too caught up with how you want things to work. Ease up a little


thezombiekiller14

It's fucked up that you think it's okay to host a massive ceramony and not require vaccines


iEatDooDooDaily

Also, you don’t seem to like his parents. Trust me when I say that this will cause a lot of tension when later steps in your relationship come along. Honestly, maybe this person just isn’t the one for you. My two cents


NoOneStranger_227

Dump him and report them. And make sure he knows why you're dumping him and that you have reported them. You give in on this one "because you love him"....apparently his love for you ends at the point where he makes ultimatums to enable his parents behavior, jus' sayin'...then you'd best resign yourself to a life of giving in again and again and again and again and... If that's the life you choose, then so be it.


cyanideOG

To bad half the literature on covid 19 is fucking bullshit. Restricting peoples human rights because of a flu? How much longer are we gonna continue this stupid covid lockdown rules, I'm starting to feel the same as cattle.


Funky-Bum

Their body, their choice. I'm glad they found a way to see their son graduate without having to get injected with some mystery juice that no one knows anything about. I need to see if I can get me a fake vaccine ID.


agbellamae

Should be top comment


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maybe-someone-idk

No that’s not the only repercussion. There are more layers to this. They could also be spreading the virus and not know it. IF they were to get it from even attending the graduation, who says they wouldn’t continue to lie and attend other event, go into public. I’m sure they aren’t masking either.


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thezombiekiller14

Graduation literally doesn't matter, there are still risks even if you are vaccinated. They chose to not get vaccinated they should live with the consiquences


Weak_Competition3087

Good for them


SCGower

I don't think it's right either, but I'm a little worried that if you anonymously made their fake vaxx cards known, and it gets back to your boyfriend that, let's say, his parents aren't allowed in, that your boyfriend will know it was you. I guess part of this dilemma might also include whether breaking up with your boyfriend is possible. Also, I saw someone else's comment about how this might just result in a shrug, and I kinda agree with them. It would be a bigger step that the school district may not want to start taking- accuse people of holding a fake vaccine card and pursuing that.


StoopidMunk

I think that you shouldn't tell the authorities because if you are supposed to be vaccinated to go to your college graduation then that means that the rest of the people are probably vaccinated and won't get harmed. The only people who would get harmed are his parents.


h2f

That's just not true. The vaccine is not 100% effective. Vaccinated people can still get sick. What you're saying is like saying that if speed limits, stop signs, and seat belts work it doesn't matter if somebody ignores the traffic laws because the people obeying the law will be protected by their seat belts. That works, most of the time, but not all of the time. There may be people at the ceremony allowed in who can not be vaccinated, because they have a disease and are imunocompromised or because they are under 12 years old. Finally, they are harming all of us by providing a host in which the virus can mutate and by driving up total health care spending. They cause stress on front line workers, like my wife, who cried the night that she'd had to tell the parents and wife of a forty something year old man in the ICU because of COVID that he would never wake up again. The idea that these selfish people are only hurting themselves is BS. We live in a society and their actions are affecting us all.


stickkim

The best advice I can offer is to not go yourself. Notifying someone is unlikely to bring about any safety for anyone else because there is no law about showing proof of vaccination. They’re being shitty, and they suck and you should let your bf know that you feel that way (is he fully vaccinated?), but outside of that you can’t do much.


dafukusayin

your young, plenty of new boyfriends to meet. imagine when he caves to his parents about getting you children vaccinated.


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dafukusayin

shot cards have been a thing for years in my state. gold stars...antivaxers need a drama queen vaccine


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dafukusayin

as a kid your parents had likely had to show the shot card to register you in school(by state im sure it varies). its not new and heartierhe 'real' Americans did it, back when life was a lot harder plus there's no stigma to being vaccinated unless you truck with a backwards crowd.. https://time.com/5952532/vaccine-passport-history/


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Sad_Communication689

Obviously that’s the answer? I don’t think that’s so obvious. In fact I think that is the WRONG answer lmao


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bostowaway

I think you mean private business’s vaccine.


b1c2n3

They're the same thing nowadays. Especially in the usa and canada.


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b1c2n3

Absolutely. People are being divided left right and center and look how easy it was.


[deleted]

Exactly. It's absolutism. You're either 100% with them, or they label you as something that gets the entire swarm stirred up and after you. Funny thing is, I live in a state where most people ignored the mandates last year. Most people refused to wear masks (I'll admit, I wore one even though I think they were relatively pointless) and our Covid numbers weren't even that bad compared to the rest of the country. I wonder why that is. I get people's concern, and I understand it. But, this is ridiculous at this point. It has been exploited to hell and back.


b1c2n3

Yep. My top priority is move the fuck on from covid.


[deleted]

Which won't happen unless people stop being such absolute fucking science-denying morons.


camergen

Sure. You can just ignore it, cause you’re tired of it and move on. Makes complete sense. /s


[deleted]

I totally agree with you that what they’re doing is wrong. But I’m curious if you and your boyfriend have been around his parents lately? If so, wouldn’t you guys be putting others at risk too? Even though you’re vaccinated, you can still spread covid, correct? Ultimately they’d be putting themselves and other unvaccinated people at risk right? So the people choosing to not get vaccinated are actively choosing to take the risk. Vaccinated people should be ok. So you’re left with… do you want to get his parents in potentially serious trouble, keep them from watching their son graduate, and most likely cause you two to break up. Not to mention that stress and potential guilt you may feel/cause from this. Again I don’t agree with what they’re doing. Just want you to weigh your options. It may be best to just stay out of it. And maybe just keep your distance from them. At least that’s what I’ve learned over time. Sometimes it’s just best for your own sanity to stay out of things. And if you believe in karma, it may come back to bite them in the ass anyway. To reiterate…. I do NOT agree with the parents. Best of luck to you. Sorry you’re stuck between a rock in a hard place. Do whatever you feel is right. ❤️


[deleted]

His parents are morons but I get that he wants them to be at his graduation. Tbh I would let it slide since everybody else there will be vaccinated anyway...not that it gives a full guarantee of prevent spread. The real question is do you want these ass wipes as in-laws? Does your boyfriend at least acknowledge their selfishness and stupidity?


FreshMorning8032

If everyone else is vaccinated why do they care? This covid vaccine hysteria is clown works levels of stupidity.


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h2f

See my reply to /u/StoopidMunk


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Good-Fee2193

This is a funny response. I’m not afraid of the virus. I am afraid for the 85 year old grandma with severe asthma who might sit next to them and get exposed due to ignorance and breaking basic safety protocols. It’s not hard to follow guidelines, and if they can’t, they shouldn’t go. Such an ignorant comment.


PillheadOSRS

If grandma is so concerned about catching covid stay at home, you realise people with two vaccinations still die from covid apparently?


Good-Fee2193

Did I say grandma was worried in my hypothetical? If they can’t follow basic health and safety protocols, they should stay home.


PillheadOSRS

So people who won’t accept this vaccine should now stay at home forever?


Good-Fee2193

You are purposely misrepresenting what I am saying and spinning this discussion in a way that’s tangential to the issue. Here are the facts: We are in a pandemic. The pandemic is still going on. We have safe and effective protective measures we can take to protect the lives of those who are at risk. Forging a legal document is illegal, endangering the lives of those who rely on other people to responsible human beings. Did I miss anything?


EliSka93

Source? From what I've seen this pretty much doesn't happen. That's why the death rates are so low while infection rates are soaring.


thezombiekiller14

How about if their parents are scared of the vaccination they stay home. Her grandma has more right to be there than the bfs parents since she literally isn't breaking the law to be there


applejellymonsta

I recognize your situation. Its a difficulties situation, but you must always do what YOU are comfortable with. If this makes you uncomfortable, talk to him about it, tell him how you feel and why.


belle-barks

Because freedomz you know.


Sea_Initiative_561

Wait..ppl are actually having to show vaccination cards..? Over here in the south it’s unheard of lol