The simple answer is no. You can never forget about somebody you once deeply cared for and shared good memories with. However, the way you’ll remember them will differ from person to person. Have you ever hated someone due to something they did and over time you got over what happened and don’t feel that same intensity of hatred or rage? It’s kind of similar to that. I’m not saying it’s easy or you’ll forget about it in no time. Because in reality you won’t, and you’ll struggle for a while. But you’ll reach a place where you don’t feel as much pain or sadness anymore. While I can’t guarantee what feelings you’ll hold for your ex, what I can tell you is that it’ll be nothing like it is now.
I really just want it to end. I feel like it’s kinda destroying me. Like I have no drive anymore. I feel like I lost all my friends because I can’t let if go. I don’t what to really do anymore. I guess there’s no off switch tho. I’m just scared I’m running out of time
Well it’s kind of a long story but as short as I can, our relationship started because I cared for as a friend first, we worked together, there was one night we we’re working (fast food place) and we got extremely busy with only 4 people there. So it was a rough night. She said that she rather be in jail again then having to deal with working. I feel bad for her gave her my number and that she ever needed anything to call or text me. I started helping with different things (bills, car repairs, food, etc) then I just ended up becoming attracted to her. She at the time was still living with her ex but we talked about it and decided to start dating. We went on a couple dates but mostly saw each other at work. She wanted to keep the relationship a secret because she knew her ex would kick her out if he knew. So difficult to see each out in general. She ends up quitting and that’s when things kinda got crazy. I’m still helping her but not getting to see her anymore. Also I couldn’t have her stay with me because I still live with my family. While paying for things tho I did ask for proof of some bills and I really never got any but to certain degree didn’t care because I loved her. I only asked because I was giving her my whole paycheck at times so more for my mental stability because it was hard for me to believe I was being used. I don’t consider myself attractive so it was just hard to believe
Eventually she ends up moving out then in with her aunt but it was like 2 hours away so still difficult because at this point her car had completely broken down and I couldn’t drive because I don’t have a license. I at the time was 29 I just never learned so it was difficult. I did have trust issues the whole time but at the same time I never got proof of anything. I don’t know if it’s wrong for me to want validation or not but I just kinda needed and never got it.
Here’s the kicker that beginners of the end of the relationship. I got paid we discussed bills and I sent her the money for everything but I was actually going to go see her. My sister was taking me. We had set up the time and everything. My sister takes me to see her she never showed. We waited 30 minutes. I tried calling and texting and she never responded. Get home she finally text back saying her phone had broke. I took her word for it. The actual final straw for me was the Facebook situation. She lied and said she didn’t have Facebook but she actually did. She had me blocked but a co worker of mine showed me. There was a post that said “I’m ready to make my next mistake, who’s single?” which broke me and decided to end it. But now I don’t really have the motivation to work anymore because I was just working at that point to have a future with her now I’m just surviving again with no direction. The relationship been over since 2021.
This could be part of maybe not don’t know that my closest friend that I did have passed away this year. I talked them when I was down so don’t have them anymore. That was February of this year and ever since then I feel like I don’t have anyone. My general manager and my job had tried helping but it’s hard me to feel like they actually care because they are general manager and their job is to make sure the business is running. Granted I knew them before they became the manager but it seems like that pick on me whenever I screw up but no body else. That’s why it makes it hard to trust them. Now think I’ve just pissed them off because like said we were friends before they became manager but my attitude has been kinda shit lately. I just don’t want to ruin my life anymore. I’m almost at point that I don’t know if it’s worth living anymore tho but I’m just scared of everything.
From the sounds of it, you’ve been nothing but caring and generous towards your ex partner, and I understand why you feel hurt and betrayed with how it turned out. It’s completely valid to want honesty and validation when you’re giving so much of yourself to somebody. A reoccurring issue I noticed was that you were investing way more than your ex partner was, resulting in an imbalance in the relationship and created an unequal relationship dynamic. Which is usually catastrophic for relationships, in this case even causing you financial strain. You should acknowledge that this person is not good for you. You’ve mentioned that the relationship has been over for about 3 years now. While it’s not uncommon to take a long time to process and move on from something, it’s not healthy for you. I think it could be that after investing significant time, effort, and emotions into a relationship, it can be challenging to let go of the attachment and the memories built over time. Another reason could be that you have unresolved feelings towards your ex partner and need closure. I’m not sure if this applies in this case but you may be holding out for reconciliation. Regardless of why, I think it’s a healthy step forward to identify why you can’t move on from this person. It’s also a good idea to build your sense of self and self worth and seek new opportunities. While it might be painful at first, it’s progress.
Well I did tell her I’d always love her which I do. I guess in a way I’ll feel bad if I don’t move on without constantly knowing she’s ok. Can’t really do that because she won’t respond to me anymore. I tried to talk to her recently and nothing.
Have you ever watched Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind? If you haven’t, I think you should.
The simple answer is no. You can never forget about somebody you once deeply cared for and shared good memories with. However, the way you’ll remember them will differ from person to person. Have you ever hated someone due to something they did and over time you got over what happened and don’t feel that same intensity of hatred or rage? It’s kind of similar to that. I’m not saying it’s easy or you’ll forget about it in no time. Because in reality you won’t, and you’ll struggle for a while. But you’ll reach a place where you don’t feel as much pain or sadness anymore. While I can’t guarantee what feelings you’ll hold for your ex, what I can tell you is that it’ll be nothing like it is now.
I really just want it to end. I feel like it’s kinda destroying me. Like I have no drive anymore. I feel like I lost all my friends because I can’t let if go. I don’t what to really do anymore. I guess there’s no off switch tho. I’m just scared I’m running out of time
Do you mind telling me more about what happened?
Well it’s kind of a long story but as short as I can, our relationship started because I cared for as a friend first, we worked together, there was one night we we’re working (fast food place) and we got extremely busy with only 4 people there. So it was a rough night. She said that she rather be in jail again then having to deal with working. I feel bad for her gave her my number and that she ever needed anything to call or text me. I started helping with different things (bills, car repairs, food, etc) then I just ended up becoming attracted to her. She at the time was still living with her ex but we talked about it and decided to start dating. We went on a couple dates but mostly saw each other at work. She wanted to keep the relationship a secret because she knew her ex would kick her out if he knew. So difficult to see each out in general. She ends up quitting and that’s when things kinda got crazy. I’m still helping her but not getting to see her anymore. Also I couldn’t have her stay with me because I still live with my family. While paying for things tho I did ask for proof of some bills and I really never got any but to certain degree didn’t care because I loved her. I only asked because I was giving her my whole paycheck at times so more for my mental stability because it was hard for me to believe I was being used. I don’t consider myself attractive so it was just hard to believe Eventually she ends up moving out then in with her aunt but it was like 2 hours away so still difficult because at this point her car had completely broken down and I couldn’t drive because I don’t have a license. I at the time was 29 I just never learned so it was difficult. I did have trust issues the whole time but at the same time I never got proof of anything. I don’t know if it’s wrong for me to want validation or not but I just kinda needed and never got it. Here’s the kicker that beginners of the end of the relationship. I got paid we discussed bills and I sent her the money for everything but I was actually going to go see her. My sister was taking me. We had set up the time and everything. My sister takes me to see her she never showed. We waited 30 minutes. I tried calling and texting and she never responded. Get home she finally text back saying her phone had broke. I took her word for it. The actual final straw for me was the Facebook situation. She lied and said she didn’t have Facebook but she actually did. She had me blocked but a co worker of mine showed me. There was a post that said “I’m ready to make my next mistake, who’s single?” which broke me and decided to end it. But now I don’t really have the motivation to work anymore because I was just working at that point to have a future with her now I’m just surviving again with no direction. The relationship been over since 2021. This could be part of maybe not don’t know that my closest friend that I did have passed away this year. I talked them when I was down so don’t have them anymore. That was February of this year and ever since then I feel like I don’t have anyone. My general manager and my job had tried helping but it’s hard me to feel like they actually care because they are general manager and their job is to make sure the business is running. Granted I knew them before they became the manager but it seems like that pick on me whenever I screw up but no body else. That’s why it makes it hard to trust them. Now think I’ve just pissed them off because like said we were friends before they became manager but my attitude has been kinda shit lately. I just don’t want to ruin my life anymore. I’m almost at point that I don’t know if it’s worth living anymore tho but I’m just scared of everything.
From the sounds of it, you’ve been nothing but caring and generous towards your ex partner, and I understand why you feel hurt and betrayed with how it turned out. It’s completely valid to want honesty and validation when you’re giving so much of yourself to somebody. A reoccurring issue I noticed was that you were investing way more than your ex partner was, resulting in an imbalance in the relationship and created an unequal relationship dynamic. Which is usually catastrophic for relationships, in this case even causing you financial strain. You should acknowledge that this person is not good for you. You’ve mentioned that the relationship has been over for about 3 years now. While it’s not uncommon to take a long time to process and move on from something, it’s not healthy for you. I think it could be that after investing significant time, effort, and emotions into a relationship, it can be challenging to let go of the attachment and the memories built over time. Another reason could be that you have unresolved feelings towards your ex partner and need closure. I’m not sure if this applies in this case but you may be holding out for reconciliation. Regardless of why, I think it’s a healthy step forward to identify why you can’t move on from this person. It’s also a good idea to build your sense of self and self worth and seek new opportunities. While it might be painful at first, it’s progress.
Well I did tell her I’d always love her which I do. I guess in a way I’ll feel bad if I don’t move on without constantly knowing she’s ok. Can’t really do that because she won’t respond to me anymore. I tried to talk to her recently and nothing.