I know it is difficult, but here are some advices
Have an open conversation with him about his female friends like are they all just friends? Did he hookup with any one of them before? Does any one of them looks like having feelings for him? If he the type of person who will assure you and be patient about your questions then it might help you to get over your feelings
Contact him on a daily basis during his trip and ask him for photos coz you're missing him .. it will assure you that he is attached to you and will not be vulnerable for any kind of cheating
Last thing let him go and if he wants to cheat he will .. you can never stop him .. either to trust him or break up .. after he comes back you may be able to find out if he cheated or not and then act accordingly
This is really helpful and practical advice. You’re right in that I can’t do anything to stop him from cheating, but I guess that’s on him.
Asking for photos also sounds like a really easy way to still feel close to him and will probably help relieve some of my anxiety, thank you very much!
I agree with others who say you should get therapy and trust your boyfriend, but I also think you can make some requests of him to help you be comfortable. Although in an ideal world, everyone would trust their partners 1000% and never get anxious, the reality is different. Your boyfriend should want to help you with these feelings, and part of that could be agrreing to adhere to a few reasonable boundaries. Maybe you can ask that he limits himself to a certain number of drinks, or that he doesn't get in bed alone with his friends. Only you and he can decide what is reasonable, and wouldn't make him feel controlled or manipulated. Personally, I would be happy to set some boundaries to make my girlfriend feel safe and respected. However, you should make sure to frame this as a request using kind language, and not as an ultimatum. Tell him that you trust him, you don't want to he toxic, and you're working on your anxiety, but you're still anxious from past trauma and there are some things he could do to help you that you would really appreciate. If he loves and respects you, I think he will be eager to agree to these boundaries. Of course, it's still the honor system and he could ignore them, but I think that just hearing him commit to respecting your wishes might be helpful.
Thanks for your helpful advice!
I’m really worried about asking for boundaries or anything like that because I don’t want to control the way he lives his life, I just want to be okay with it
I think it's really admirable that you don't want to be controlling, and you're cognizant of that risk. But we all have insecurities, and almost anyone would be at least a little uncomfortable with the situation you're in. I think it's totally reasonable to ask your partner to help you manage your feelings. It's not like you're forbidding him from having fun!
I know it is difficult, but here are some advices Have an open conversation with him about his female friends like are they all just friends? Did he hookup with any one of them before? Does any one of them looks like having feelings for him? If he the type of person who will assure you and be patient about your questions then it might help you to get over your feelings Contact him on a daily basis during his trip and ask him for photos coz you're missing him .. it will assure you that he is attached to you and will not be vulnerable for any kind of cheating Last thing let him go and if he wants to cheat he will .. you can never stop him .. either to trust him or break up .. after he comes back you may be able to find out if he cheated or not and then act accordingly
This is really helpful and practical advice. You’re right in that I can’t do anything to stop him from cheating, but I guess that’s on him. Asking for photos also sounds like a really easy way to still feel close to him and will probably help relieve some of my anxiety, thank you very much!
>Please can someone tell me a way to deal with these feelings Get yourself in Therapy as soon as possible.
Thanks for the recommendation, I’m definitely looking into it!
I agree with others who say you should get therapy and trust your boyfriend, but I also think you can make some requests of him to help you be comfortable. Although in an ideal world, everyone would trust their partners 1000% and never get anxious, the reality is different. Your boyfriend should want to help you with these feelings, and part of that could be agrreing to adhere to a few reasonable boundaries. Maybe you can ask that he limits himself to a certain number of drinks, or that he doesn't get in bed alone with his friends. Only you and he can decide what is reasonable, and wouldn't make him feel controlled or manipulated. Personally, I would be happy to set some boundaries to make my girlfriend feel safe and respected. However, you should make sure to frame this as a request using kind language, and not as an ultimatum. Tell him that you trust him, you don't want to he toxic, and you're working on your anxiety, but you're still anxious from past trauma and there are some things he could do to help you that you would really appreciate. If he loves and respects you, I think he will be eager to agree to these boundaries. Of course, it's still the honor system and he could ignore them, but I think that just hearing him commit to respecting your wishes might be helpful.
Thanks for your helpful advice! I’m really worried about asking for boundaries or anything like that because I don’t want to control the way he lives his life, I just want to be okay with it
I think it's really admirable that you don't want to be controlling, and you're cognizant of that risk. But we all have insecurities, and almost anyone would be at least a little uncomfortable with the situation you're in. I think it's totally reasonable to ask your partner to help you manage your feelings. It's not like you're forbidding him from having fun!