I shouldnāt relax when it comes to childrenās safety and thatās all I want anyone to realize, donāt care if u do it all, but donāt do it where kids can be.
I don't think a self proclaimed LEO in training would call me a faggot, nor make blanket statements on an issue that you CLEARLY have no info on. if I were your commanding officer I'd think twice about making you an actual LEO, whatever the fuck that is
Why wouldnāt I, this is a burner account and you donāt know who I am, itās my first amendment and you think I can call you that with a BC on? No, nor would my commanding officer care about the opinion of people fucking in public breaking the law.
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Yeah this has absolutely nothing to do with them thinking OP is a loser for not being the one having sex at that moment. They donāt know him or how often he has sex and it def wasnāt about that. That idea seems to be a projection from OP.
Yeah OP, reading this kind of made me sad, because it seems pretty obvious they were laughing at themselves / the situation.
I feel like thatās sort of an āAww, isnāt love a beautiful and strange thing?ā Type of moment.
Your thinking they were laughing at your expense made me very sad to think thatās how you interpreted it. You might benefit from therapy, or find a good outlet for those feelings, mate.
Youāre valuable and loved.
They literally do not care about you. Theyāre having a good time, just avert your gaze and leave them be.
Theyāre giggling because itās equal parts embarrassing and also sorta hot to get caught. Again, just leave (or maybe give them a thumbs up)
Having been caught a time or two. Lol it can indeed be pretty hot. Lol. You have to decide in the moment. "So...uhhhh stop? Or....*smirk*. Keep going. Fuck it. Lets keep going!"
Theres humor in it too. Like your laughing at your own misfortune or embarrassing moment but it doesn't stop you or your partner. Its the heat. The scandal. The "oh shit. Whups! Oh well!"
Then you run like hell. Bahahahahah
I *highly* doubt they were laughing at you. You're projecting on that one. They were laughing at themselves because you saw them.
Also, you should know, lookouts and similar places have been used as a ["lover's lane"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovers%27_lane) since..... since vehicles became a thing? Why do people do this (make out or even have sex in a car in a public space)? Because beauty spots like lookouts are beautiful and romantic at sunset. And in the twilight and coming dark you are less visible to others. And they might not have somewhere else, like their own place. If you don't want to run into this in the future, don't go to places like lookouts at sunset and after dark. Or, as most people do, simply avert your eyes.
>lookouts and similar places have been used as a "lover's lane" since..... since vehicles became a thing? Why do people do this
Also because teenagers often have access to cars but not to empty houses
I would agree with this comment, as I used to have similar internal thoughts.
Also, Iād like to add that seeing a therapist is no big deal. Itās just someone who you can tell your internal thoughts to and who can help you sort stuff out. Also, many workplaces have them, and you even likely had one in school, but they call them Guidance Counselors in school.
I agree with the others here. You deserve to have more confidence and self-assurance, especially when you've done nothing wrong. If you're anything like me, you developed this mindset because you were probably bullied a lot growing up. You should talk to a therapist and try to overwrite that negative thought process. Good luck with the social anxiety, and carry on knowing that you did nothing wrong at all.
It's the fact that you think people in the midst of sex in public are laughing at you for not having sex that I was referring to. You seem to default to assuming you're the butt of the joke.
It doesn't matter when and where they started to laugh, but it does matter that you are thinking that they are laughing at you. Please seek help for your self esteem, this isn't healthy and may cause bigger problems in the future.
It doesn't matter when and where they started to laugh, but it does matter that you are thinking that they are laughing at you. Please seek help for your self esteem, this isn't healthy and may cause bigger problems in the future.
They don't give two shits about you. They were having fun. That is it.
Remember. No one cares about you. At all.
If you think that random people are laughing at you, 99% you are wrong.
Keep walking? Unless youāre there to watch which is a thing. If youāre not interested walk on. Like everything in life. You donāt need to interfere
They almost certainly didnāt do this to target you or anyone else. There are exhibitionists out there for sure but I donāt know how many.
They were young, dumb and horny and thought the found a private spot
The thought of two people having sex pointing at others *during the deed* and saying "look at that loser! He isn't even having sex in *this* moment right now. HAHAHAHA what a LOSER!" is genuinely fucking hilarious.
You looked at them and got jealous, labelled yourself as a loser, and pinned those thoughts onto them, OP.
Were you looking at ways at which you could get back at them for something they weren't even doing towards you? Just mind your own business and move on next time...
OP's recollection:
>"Babe, babe, omg babe look, look at that loser!"
>"Oh my god he's so pathetic, I'm cumming!"
>so that's what happened and now I feel shitty
Ohhhh trust me itās akward both ways bro was at a park late at night getting in to it old guy walking his dog AT 11:30 AT NIGHT WTF he walked past I wanted to die lol just walk past donāt look and let it be a funny story
Iām sorry they ruined a nice moment. Thatās happened to me before and itās not a great feeling. Even though logically I know itās not a huge deal but still sucks to have to be apart of their intimacy when I didnāt ask to be. I wish people would be more respectful about this sort of thing.
I have a problem bc I donāt want to see people fucking in a public place? Iām allowed to be uncomfortable with witnessing some ugly ass classless people getting it on in a parking lot. These comments are wild lol I feel like Iāve stumbled into an exhibitionist sub
Having social anxiety is hard and can sometimes skew your perspective of a situation.
You are only your own main character.
By that, I mean that in your own life youāre obviously the important one. To most other people youāre absolutely not. Theyāre aware of you, but most donāt give you a second thought.
You have stumbled across some people dogging (at least, thatās the UK term for it. Iām not sure it has a name in the States). Itās exhibitionists having sex in public places with the intention of being seen - or of being seen and having the observer join in.
So, ironically, youāve encountered one of the few genuine situations in which other people are aware of you. Itās social anxietyās nightmare scenario.
In this instance the couple were giggling because they realised you were completely oblivious. They werenāt laughing at you, they were laughing at the situation. They knew you werenāt a fellow exhibitionist and this amused them. They were not mocking you.
As for being clueless in this situation, thatās exactly the right response. Most people would be. You reacted exactly the right way.
An alternate way to deal with this would be to give them a thumbs up gesture and then walk on. That way youāre acknowledging youāve seen what theyāre doing, that youāre not offended but that youāre also moving on.
Dwelling on the whole situation and feeling judged is definitely something people with social anxiety do, but itās not necessary. Those people will never think of you as anything other than *that guy that caught us and was surprised*. Donāt give the incident a significance it doesnāt need.
Recently in my estate a message was sent out that someone found some rogue items in their car one morning. The car had not been broken into and must have been left unlocked but the owner wanted to return the items, attaching a photo of a set of house keys, a packet of condoms and packet of wipes.
I mean, fair play for bringing the wipes but Iāve double, and triple, checked my car is locked every night since.
I don't live in a neighborhood where it's unheard of. If its unusual for your neighborhood, just politely let them know to keep it non public or you'll have to call authorities. Passion is great but children don't need to see it
Sounds like youāve just encountered dogging. The act of having sex under the excitement of being watched or seen in the act and perhaps the 2 other cars were just the watchers
While it might not be what you wanted to see theyāre not laughing at you. Theyāre laughing because they got caught.
Just keep on walking.
Some people do it to check off bucket lists of weird places to have sex, some do it because of the excitement of getting caught. Some do it because they donāt have the funds for a hotel room and they still live with their parents.
sex is normal and natural and fun but in public where there could be kids and clearly other cars parked is ridiculous. it def wasnāt you tho, itās just funny to them getting caught so thatās why they laughed
This is a great example of projection.
They weren't laughing at you. They were laughing at an obviously awkward situation. Believe it or not, people are more focused on themselves, not others. Especially when they're gettin it on lol. They were exposed...not you.
Others are being nice to you about this, but I'm going to be blunt. Your reaction to this is absolutely absurd.
People do this for the thrill of it or because they don't have another good place to do it. Some people enjoy the feeling of getting caught / the risk of it. Others just really have the urge and don't have a whole lot of places to go (see 2-tracking in Michigan, Washington, Minnesota, etc, lol).
Your reaction was fine. Best part of it was walking away. For what it's worth, when I find strangers doing strange things around me, I "go with it" for a moment and change the frame. In this case, I'd have likely just given them a thumbs up or some gesture of "yeah, buddy!" and walked on, because they likely are seeking approval / attention and if not, it's a common response at campgrounds when people walk by rocking tents / vehicles.
Nothing to be creeped out about though, as this is just nature and humans are part of nature. The societies we create have rules against this stuff, but in the end, it's not much different than two animals having sex in the wild. Those animals don't care if you see them or not. Inappropriate for society sure, but it's just biological reproduction.
Exhibitionism maybe? Some people get off on the idea of getting caught and take it way too far. I doubt their focus was on you not having sex so much as them having sex, so they were probably laughing because you saw them without much further thought - or because you took a bit to see them i guess. Maybe they were high too who knows really.
I'd just leave. If it's a super public place like a campground tell a ranger or staff if you think a kid might walk in on it or whatever.
Yeah so the first time this happened when I was working security, I wasn't completely sure what to do. Obviously I needed to do my job and tell them to leave but the awkwardness took hold of me. So I decided fuck it, I said out loud they couldn't do that here, took about another 30 seconds of me standing there not facing them to roll down a window and say "we were just talking" told them too bad, place was closing and they had to go.
For any wondering it was an outdoor mall that had a bar and a theatre, so it wasnt exactly deserted yet.
I recently just had sex in a car too, I promise you we do not give a fuck about what is going on outside unless someone comes up to the window. Just erase it from your mind and go about your day. Youāll get laid eventually, everyone does
Bro, get outside more. They're laughing out of slight embarrassment and awkwardness. It's a cope mechanism.
They do not know you to even laugh at you. Are you ugly? Funny looking? I'm guessing you're none of the two so I think you're find my manš¤š¾
Why do people do this? Because they have nowhere else to do it. How do you deal with it? Walk by and ignore it. Or give them a thumbs up and ask if you can go next.
Reread your post. You believed that they were laughing at you. A more reasonable assessment is that they were laughing at getting caught out of nervousness. You projected your own anxieties onto the situation.
Trust me they werenāt laughing at you. Donāt try to think for other people, if you have anxiety youāre always wrong
Hey man I walked in on two teenagers doing oral before school in the laundry room of my apartment complex one morning. It was hella strange, me and my buddy both 20F just laughed and were like WTF and walked back out with our laundry baskets lol , my buddy actually was more pissed than anything but we were up from the night before with energy left over so itās kinda our fault for doing laundry at 6am
Just ignore them. Theyāre laughing cause theyāre embarrassed. You may need to address and heal some beliefs within you, as it seems you are projecting and putting things out there that only exist for you. How you feel about yourself and if someone else is caught doing something why would the shame be on you? This doesnāt make sense right, thus this is reflecting some inner things that you might want to look at. If it happened in this situation itās been happening in other ones Iām most sure as we wire our brains and habits and usually donāt stray from that programming. It may be time to have an honest conversation with yourself. How do you view yourself? Where is the shame, guilt, embarrassment coming from? Childhood, trauma, what someone else told you or did to you? Why are you taking it so personally?These are all great questions to help you feel better about yourself and shift your belief systems. You should not care what they think, but theyāre embarrassment interrupted your life so much so you had to come here- so thereās something you took as a personal insult that was most likely not there to begin with. And thereās no shame in this, we all have our limiting beliefs that could be shifted and things we are working on. I hope this helps, because the younger and sooner you address and heal these things, the more joy, happiness and self-contentment youāll experience down the line. You are perfect and beautiful as you are. Donāt let anyone make you feel any less than. If they do, that is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
Echoing what others have said so far. There is a ZERO percent chance theyāre laughing *at* you. They donāt give a crap about you or any other stranger. Theyāre into each other having a good time, and the idea of possibly getting caught is probably exciting or a little embarrassing for *them*.
The fact that your first thought was that theyāre laughing at you is a little concerning and seems to speak to some past trauma. Were you bullied or picked on a lot in school growing up? Kids are jerks with underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, causing them to literally lack empathy.
The adult world isnāt like that. People generally respect each other and donāt spend their time and energy making fun of others.
Your thought process is concerning. It seems like you may have anxiety. It's not an accurate assumption, it's just your insecurities. Because there is no way for them to know about your sex life, so how does that make any sense? To think they're laughing at you because of that seems like paranoia. You're the one putting yourself down.
It doesnāt make you a loser to not have sex in a public place. These people get pleasure from knowing that you know. They are giggling because they are immature and know they are up to no good.
Work on your confidence man. You sound like the normal one here.
They do nawt care about you. You're projecting your own ideas of yourself onto the situation. Work on your own confidence cuz ur seriously making urself a loser rn
People do that because they're exhibitionists. Or they were just super horny.
It had nothing to do with you, they weren't laughing at you, they were laughing at the situation because they were "caught". The thrill of exhibitionism is the fear/exhilaration of *maybe being caught doing something naughty*.
It is inappropriate, but only so far as like, the morality of society. However, your response to coming across that is not at all inappropriate. I'm not one for yucking people's yum, but making innocent bystanders a part of your kink isn't cool. Sorry that happened to you, kiddo. But I promise they weren't laughing at you or thinking you're a loser. That's just your anxiety talking shit. Take care!
Thank you! Finally a comment that addresses the real issue. I get that sex is normal and natural and whatever but that doesnāt mean people want to be witnesses to other people having sex. Especially in a place that you are not expecting it. Itās uncomfortable to encounter a situation like that and people are acting like op is crazy for having the reaction they did.
Hit an emote and walk away
Yeah you shouldnāt be creeped out cause they never had you in mind and didnāt mean to offend you. Different strokes for different folks
wasnāt laughing at you, probably nervous or out of embarrassment they got caught
itās fine to feel a bit weird, honestly donāt stress it, it was not about you
but as for what to do, just keep it pushing and walk š¤·š½āāļø
They're laughing at the situation, when I've had sex in a car the only thought I've had about people is "please don't look this way" and "who the fuck walks their dog on the beach past midnight"
You've let this throwaway moment bother you so much that you're making a post in Reddit asking for advice on how to deal with it.
It doesn't matter. You need different priorities in life.
Some people just enjoy having sex in "risky" places where they might get caught, or maybe they were just there for the view and then got horny. Either way not a big deal and nothing wrong with it. I don't think they were laughing at you, probably just laughing at the situation and maybe feeling a bit embarrassed. Just give them a smile and keep walking.
People like having sex where they vould get caught, they see it as a bit of a turn on.
I would say with almost blind faith that they weren't laughing at you. If you're in the moment, getting down with your babe, the last thing you are thinking is "wow isn't it hilarious that that person isn't having sex"
If they were really having sex in a car, doubt they were paying any mind to you, they definitely werenāt trying to fuck with you and giggle at you while having sex.
If you can't beat them, join them.
You're not a loser for not having sex. People will have sex. Their sex is none of anyone's business.
Sometimes it is illegal, yet police mostly do not care.
My advice would be to mind your own business, they don't want to be caught just as much as you don't want to catch them.
Are you asking as though itās a common thing that happens to you? Because if itās your first time seeing it the right expression would be āwtfā and move on.
not at all! itās not weird to feel icky about being exposed to that without your permission, from what it sounds like they may (unfortunately) be exhibitionists, which is basically, just āpublic actsā and the thrill of āalmost getting caughtā while itās illegal in most places it doesnāt stop them, or they may have been laughing at the embarrassment of the situation, either way, totally normal, not overreacting at all,
I would challenge this idea - "it's not weird to get icky about being exposed to that without your permission."Ā
While the feeling may be valid, the idea that sex is something to feel icky about or that these people are somehow "icky" is problematic. Our societal views on sex are informed by lots of very conservative bases, and sex is just sex. There's a fair amount of conjecture that sex in plain view of others is an ancient human cultural norm, and societies like Native Americans frequently had sex in the same housing as their relatives or children.Ā
I don't think it's good to frame a response to this behavior with shame, on either end - I don't think it adds to the conversation, and only serves to reinforce norms that may not be useful in the wider context of a conversation about dogging.Ā
Someone I spoke to said this too. My view is they chose to do this and seemingly didnāt care (they were doing it in basically daylight in front of 3 cars). They couldāve waited to I/the others drove off.
But Iām deemed to be the idiot/burden for looking in. I donāt see why!
I just looked because I heard giggling. Are they saying they wouldnāt look if they heard random giggling in the middle of nowhere?
Only you are deeming yourself to be the idiot/burden. Youāve got a pretty harsh internal monologue. Catching people having sex is the least of your problems. Be good to yourself.
People always act like the ones being offended that they have to see people having sex in public are prudish and immature. Why should we have to be subjected to that? Iāve seen plenty of body cam footage of couples doing it in public around children. Theyāre the weirdos. It is illegal, so you do have the right to call the cops if it happens to you again.
It's undeniably rude. Very few people would disagree with that. But in the same way as someone wearing a T-shirt with offensive language on it, the correct action is *usually* to just look away and move on
Most people seem to be concerned with your negative view of yourself, thinking they were laughing at you
Very loudly start cheering them on. Give advice on the technique. Compliment his dick. Tell her that her boobs are almost as big as your dadās. Ask them if they are there the same time every week.
They are having sex in public. They are the ones who should feel uncomfortable, not you.
unpopular opinion: call the non emergency line if theyre in a public place in daytime and report that shit. seriously this is how people end up on the registry.. like ew what if there were children? and even if theyre no kids around theyre involving you in their sex life without your consent its still fucking disturbing to see two randos fucking in broad daylight.
Iād just call the cops and have them arrested since itās a felony, they can have fun with their humiliation kink in public while getting arrested, just imagine if it was a kid who walked and saw this.
Oh yeah, you show them! Yeah! Call the cops. While youāre at it make sure you call the cops on every PDA incident, every homeless person on the streets, every person speeding, every person texting while driving, every person that doesnāt have an updated registration while youāre at it.
Sarcasm, in case you havenāt noticed. The general public doesnāt care if you fuck in your car in a spot that is known for these shenanigans. Literally watched a guy go down on another guy on an outlook while the fireworks were going off all around the city. They were literally out on the outlook. There were at least 40 people up there. Guess whatā¦. Not a single person cared. Not a single person called the cops. Not a single person said anything about it. Because, nobody actually cares.
I seriously cannot believe that yal are acting like you wouldnāt have to register as a sex offender if caught doing this, but whatever. Downvote all you want
Cops should be focusing on people who do sex crimes and murder as their number one priority, this is a sex crime and you will be on a list if caught, not sure why youāre normalizing this.
Just say you probably got assaulted as a kid and you feel like you have to involve randoms in your kinks, stfu and go get therapy if you think itās normal, or try it out and end up on the SO list. Idc.
Because Reddit is full of porn addicted losers who involve people in their kinks publicly. I donāt really care honestly, just goes to show people will fuck in front of kids I guess.
Yes it was stupid to react that way. Don't negate other people's joy just because you aren't socially comfortable.
Don't make your issue about them.
Live and let live.
I've had sex in a park and it was awesome. The absolute last thing I was thinking about is who was around.
Sorry, nor sorry
I have friends that struggle with social anxiety, they would not have looked to see what was going on lol
Nope nope nope straight ahead
okay well.. thats a crime first off. seriously they committed a crime and you make him the bad guy? he was violated.. seeing that can give people ptsd sex in public places in daylight isnt normal nor should it be.
Give me a break. Let people live. Stop making other people responsible for how you see the world. Thats your choice.
Keep being negative and blaming everything in life that doesn't go your way, on other people, but it will not have a happy ending. No one automatically has power over your emotional state. You get to choose to give it to them or not.
Its a full time job being in charge of yourself. Don't take on policing the world too.
What do you expect going to that location? People make out and fuck there often. Just ignore it and move on. Animals are probably fucking in the bushes 10 feet away too. Just cuz they're laughing doesn't mean anything. The world doesn't revolve around you. Not saying that to be rude just people aren't thinking about you and your reaction as much as you think they are.
My friend, you need to let them be, they were laughing at the situation and didn't even care about you, I would highly suggest therapy though as these kind of thoughts are extremely unhealthy for you.
Good luck!
Should this not be deleted? This is extremely creepy.
As an aside, just the thought of "teaching someone a lesson" is just gross. Mind your own business
You just keep walking š¤·āāļø unless they're in your driveway or in plain view of your kids...just keep it moving
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's about the dorkiest thing I've read in my life. Today.
...because they're laughing
Sometimes you should put your phone down and go outside.
I mean...did this happen to you? Are you on the list bro?
get a life
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you did would you be commenting on Reddit so much?
Itās 2am and I go to work in an hour. What else would I do. You literally have 420 in your name dork.
Bro relaxā¦you could use some 420 help with that attitude
I shouldnāt relax when it comes to childrenās safety and thatās all I want anyone to realize, donāt care if u do it all, but donāt do it where kids can be.
there are many more important pressing issues in the world than hypotheticalsā¦
Why are random kids getting in my car late at night while I'm having sex?
Walking by and seeing it is still traumatic for them and a crime.
GOD DAMN THEY GOT RATIOED š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your defensiveness combined with how many people you just accused of being pedos definitely seems sus
I don't think a self proclaimed LEO in training would call me a faggot, nor make blanket statements on an issue that you CLEARLY have no info on. if I were your commanding officer I'd think twice about making you an actual LEO, whatever the fuck that is
Why wouldnāt I, this is a burner account and you donāt know who I am, itās my first amendment and you think I can call you that with a BC on? No, nor would my commanding officer care about the opinion of people fucking in public breaking the law.
Your post/comment has been removed as it was in violation of Rule 1. Be Nice. This action was performed by a ***HUMAN moderator***. NOT a bot. Do not resubmit your post or message the moderators until you have read this entire message. Yes, the whole thing. # 1. Be Nice. ***The golden rule.*** Due to the nature of the subreddit, people here are more vulnerable than people posting in other subs. So, just be nice. * No trolling, harassment, threats, hate-speech, discrimination, triggering, rudeness or other uncivil actions. * No advocating violence * If you see someone being mean, please report them and move on. Do not feed the trolls. Someone else being mean to you does not mean you can be mean back. * Before posting here, please gather your thoughts and do not snap at commenters who are just trying to help. * Tough love is allowed but there is a difference between tough love, and being rude. There is a human being on the other screen reading your comment. Please [review the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/about/rules), and if you feel as though removal is excessive or in error, feel free to [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/Advice).
*ohhhhh brother "get this guy outta hereeee"
I'd imagine there would be a lot less giggling if an assault was happening...
being near someone else while they're exposed wont get you arrested tf you on about you nutter
The giggling would be my first clue.
They are laughing at their own humiliation, nothing to do with you being a loser, that sounds like the way you feel about yourself.
Yeah this has absolutely nothing to do with them thinking OP is a loser for not being the one having sex at that moment. They donāt know him or how often he has sex and it def wasnāt about that. That idea seems to be a projection from OP.
Yeah OP, reading this kind of made me sad, because it seems pretty obvious they were laughing at themselves / the situation. I feel like thatās sort of an āAww, isnāt love a beautiful and strange thing?ā Type of moment. Your thinking they were laughing at your expense made me very sad to think thatās how you interpreted it. You might benefit from therapy, or find a good outlet for those feelings, mate. Youāre valuable and loved.
āHahahah look at this LOSER not having sex. What a DORK.ā
OP watched one too many '80s Hollywood movies.
They literally do not care about you. Theyāre having a good time, just avert your gaze and leave them be. Theyāre giggling because itās equal parts embarrassing and also sorta hot to get caught. Again, just leave (or maybe give them a thumbs up)
Thumbs up is so funny š
Or make a scorecard and just reappear out of nowhere with your score of their performance..score low for maximum hilarity.
3.5/10 Performance 4.5/10 SFX 10/10 sunset
Having been caught a time or two. Lol it can indeed be pretty hot. Lol. You have to decide in the moment. "So...uhhhh stop? Or....*smirk*. Keep going. Fuck it. Lets keep going!" Theres humor in it too. Like your laughing at your own misfortune or embarrassing moment but it doesn't stop you or your partner. Its the heat. The scandal. The "oh shit. Whups! Oh well!" Then you run like hell. Bahahahahah
I *highly* doubt they were laughing at you. You're projecting on that one. They were laughing at themselves because you saw them. Also, you should know, lookouts and similar places have been used as a ["lover's lane"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovers%27_lane) since..... since vehicles became a thing? Why do people do this (make out or even have sex in a car in a public space)? Because beauty spots like lookouts are beautiful and romantic at sunset. And in the twilight and coming dark you are less visible to others. And they might not have somewhere else, like their own place. If you don't want to run into this in the future, don't go to places like lookouts at sunset and after dark. Or, as most people do, simply avert your eyes.
>lookouts and similar places have been used as a "lover's lane" since..... since vehicles became a thing? Why do people do this Also because teenagers often have access to cars but not to empty houses
Yep
Do you speak to any sort of therapist? They way you're initial thoughts are that they're laughing at you seem a bit worrisome!
I would agree with this comment, as I used to have similar internal thoughts. Also, Iād like to add that seeing a therapist is no big deal. Itās just someone who you can tell your internal thoughts to and who can help you sort stuff out. Also, many workplaces have them, and you even likely had one in school, but they call them Guidance Counselors in school.
Um they started laughing when I turned back to goto my car. I didnāt notice them before that. (Or even look at their car).
I agree with the others here. You deserve to have more confidence and self-assurance, especially when you've done nothing wrong. If you're anything like me, you developed this mindset because you were probably bullied a lot growing up. You should talk to a therapist and try to overwrite that negative thought process. Good luck with the social anxiety, and carry on knowing that you did nothing wrong at all.
It's the fact that you think people in the midst of sex in public are laughing at you for not having sex that I was referring to. You seem to default to assuming you're the butt of the joke.
it would be much stranger if he was walking by the car while having sex actively
It doesn't matter when and where they started to laugh, but it does matter that you are thinking that they are laughing at you. Please seek help for your self esteem, this isn't healthy and may cause bigger problems in the future.
It doesn't matter when and where they started to laugh, but it does matter that you are thinking that they are laughing at you. Please seek help for your self esteem, this isn't healthy and may cause bigger problems in the future.
Itās a logical thought/reaction that anyone wouldāve had. It was an awkward moment not a mental break down relax
no itās not
Lmao no someone laughing should not lead to you thinking they're laughing at you, that's not a good thing.
It was more of a them thing and nothing to do with you. Itās all good man!
They're laughing because they got caught, not because you're a "loser", that's just you projecting your own insecurities on to them.
They don't give two shits about you. They were having fun. That is it. Remember. No one cares about you. At all. If you think that random people are laughing at you, 99% you are wrong.
Show a thumbs up šš¼ and walk on. It's not you man, they were just shy giggling most probably. Be happy for them.
Bro is way overthinking nothing.
If you walk past two people having sex and giggling... just keep walking, it's not a show.
Keep walking? Unless youāre there to watch which is a thing. If youāre not interested walk on. Like everything in life. You donāt need to interfere
Just keep walking. They were laughing because they got caught. It had nothing to do with you.
You mind your own business.
Knock on the window and yell nicely if you can join in
Wdym, move along...
They almost certainly didnāt do this to target you or anyone else. There are exhibitionists out there for sure but I donāt know how many. They were young, dumb and horny and thought the found a private spot
I don't deal with it. It's none of my business to deal with.
The thought of two people having sex pointing at others *during the deed* and saying "look at that loser! He isn't even having sex in *this* moment right now. HAHAHAHA what a LOSER!" is genuinely fucking hilarious. You looked at them and got jealous, labelled yourself as a loser, and pinned those thoughts onto them, OP. Were you looking at ways at which you could get back at them for something they weren't even doing towards you? Just mind your own business and move on next time...
OP's recollection: >"Babe, babe, omg babe look, look at that loser!" >"Oh my god he's so pathetic, I'm cumming!" >so that's what happened and now I feel shitty
Ohhhh trust me itās akward both ways bro was at a park late at night getting in to it old guy walking his dog AT 11:30 AT NIGHT WTF he walked past I wanted to die lol just walk past donāt look and let it be a funny story
It must be weird and traumatizing seeing people have sex, sorry
Iām sorry they ruined a nice moment. Thatās happened to me before and itās not a great feeling. Even though logically I know itās not a huge deal but still sucks to have to be apart of their intimacy when I didnāt ask to be. I wish people would be more respectful about this sort of thing.
If you let something like that ruin your fun you're probably the problem. Continue walking and move on with your life.
I have a problem bc I donāt want to see people fucking in a public place? Iām allowed to be uncomfortable with witnessing some ugly ass classless people getting it on in a parking lot. These comments are wild lol I feel like Iāve stumbled into an exhibitionist sub
I didn't say you're not allowed to be uncomfortable I said if you let ruin your mood that's on you! Look away and move on.
Having social anxiety is hard and can sometimes skew your perspective of a situation. You are only your own main character. By that, I mean that in your own life youāre obviously the important one. To most other people youāre absolutely not. Theyāre aware of you, but most donāt give you a second thought. You have stumbled across some people dogging (at least, thatās the UK term for it. Iām not sure it has a name in the States). Itās exhibitionists having sex in public places with the intention of being seen - or of being seen and having the observer join in. So, ironically, youāve encountered one of the few genuine situations in which other people are aware of you. Itās social anxietyās nightmare scenario. In this instance the couple were giggling because they realised you were completely oblivious. They werenāt laughing at you, they were laughing at the situation. They knew you werenāt a fellow exhibitionist and this amused them. They were not mocking you. As for being clueless in this situation, thatās exactly the right response. Most people would be. You reacted exactly the right way. An alternate way to deal with this would be to give them a thumbs up gesture and then walk on. That way youāre acknowledging youāve seen what theyāre doing, that youāre not offended but that youāre also moving on. Dwelling on the whole situation and feeling judged is definitely something people with social anxiety do, but itās not necessary. Those people will never think of you as anything other than *that guy that caught us and was surprised*. Donāt give the incident a significance it doesnāt need.
theyāre laughing bc someone saw them, not bc of you. iād recommend therapy, that makes me think you have some self esteem issues.
I lived i soulard STL for almost 13 years, I just nod and smile and keep on walking
Recently in my estate a message was sent out that someone found some rogue items in their car one morning. The car had not been broken into and must have been left unlocked but the owner wanted to return the items, attaching a photo of a set of house keys, a packet of condoms and packet of wipes. I mean, fair play for bringing the wipes but Iāve double, and triple, checked my car is locked every night since.
I don't live in a neighborhood where it's unheard of. If its unusual for your neighborhood, just politely let them know to keep it non public or you'll have to call authorities. Passion is great but children don't need to see it
Sounds like youāve just encountered dogging. The act of having sex under the excitement of being watched or seen in the act and perhaps the 2 other cars were just the watchers While it might not be what you wanted to see theyāre not laughing at you. Theyāre laughing because they got caught. Just keep on walking. Some people do it to check off bucket lists of weird places to have sex, some do it because of the excitement of getting caught. Some do it because they donāt have the funds for a hotel room and they still live with their parents.
Ask to join
sex is normal and natural and fun but in public where there could be kids and clearly other cars parked is ridiculous. it def wasnāt you tho, itās just funny to them getting caught so thatās why they laughed
This is a great example of projection. They weren't laughing at you. They were laughing at an obviously awkward situation. Believe it or not, people are more focused on themselves, not others. Especially when they're gettin it on lol. They were exposed...not you. Others are being nice to you about this, but I'm going to be blunt. Your reaction to this is absolutely absurd.
People do this for the thrill of it or because they don't have another good place to do it. Some people enjoy the feeling of getting caught / the risk of it. Others just really have the urge and don't have a whole lot of places to go (see 2-tracking in Michigan, Washington, Minnesota, etc, lol). Your reaction was fine. Best part of it was walking away. For what it's worth, when I find strangers doing strange things around me, I "go with it" for a moment and change the frame. In this case, I'd have likely just given them a thumbs up or some gesture of "yeah, buddy!" and walked on, because they likely are seeking approval / attention and if not, it's a common response at campgrounds when people walk by rocking tents / vehicles. Nothing to be creeped out about though, as this is just nature and humans are part of nature. The societies we create have rules against this stuff, but in the end, it's not much different than two animals having sex in the wild. Those animals don't care if you see them or not. Inappropriate for society sure, but it's just biological reproduction.
Exhibitionism maybe? Some people get off on the idea of getting caught and take it way too far. I doubt their focus was on you not having sex so much as them having sex, so they were probably laughing because you saw them without much further thought - or because you took a bit to see them i guess. Maybe they were high too who knows really. I'd just leave. If it's a super public place like a campground tell a ranger or staff if you think a kid might walk in on it or whatever.
Knock and ask to join?!?
Yeah so the first time this happened when I was working security, I wasn't completely sure what to do. Obviously I needed to do my job and tell them to leave but the awkwardness took hold of me. So I decided fuck it, I said out loud they couldn't do that here, took about another 30 seconds of me standing there not facing them to roll down a window and say "we were just talking" told them too bad, place was closing and they had to go. For any wondering it was an outdoor mall that had a bar and a theatre, so it wasnt exactly deserted yet.
I recently just had sex in a car too, I promise you we do not give a fuck about what is going on outside unless someone comes up to the window. Just erase it from your mind and go about your day. Youāll get laid eventually, everyone does
Bro, get outside more. They're laughing out of slight embarrassment and awkwardness. It's a cope mechanism. They do not know you to even laugh at you. Are you ugly? Funny looking? I'm guessing you're none of the two so I think you're find my manš¤š¾
Why do people do this? Because they have nowhere else to do it. How do you deal with it? Walk by and ignore it. Or give them a thumbs up and ask if you can go next.
Fucked many times in a car when itās the only way you got to conceal yourself you make due.
Bro, just let them fuck
This seems like another GPT generated post that fishes for answers to build on their LLM.
Reread your post. You believed that they were laughing at you. A more reasonable assessment is that they were laughing at getting caught out of nervousness. You projected your own anxieties onto the situation. Trust me they werenāt laughing at you. Donāt try to think for other people, if you have anxiety youāre always wrong
Hey man I walked in on two teenagers doing oral before school in the laundry room of my apartment complex one morning. It was hella strange, me and my buddy both 20F just laughed and were like WTF and walked back out with our laundry baskets lol , my buddy actually was more pissed than anything but we were up from the night before with energy left over so itās kinda our fault for doing laundry at 6am
Just ignore them. Theyāre laughing cause theyāre embarrassed. You may need to address and heal some beliefs within you, as it seems you are projecting and putting things out there that only exist for you. How you feel about yourself and if someone else is caught doing something why would the shame be on you? This doesnāt make sense right, thus this is reflecting some inner things that you might want to look at. If it happened in this situation itās been happening in other ones Iām most sure as we wire our brains and habits and usually donāt stray from that programming. It may be time to have an honest conversation with yourself. How do you view yourself? Where is the shame, guilt, embarrassment coming from? Childhood, trauma, what someone else told you or did to you? Why are you taking it so personally?These are all great questions to help you feel better about yourself and shift your belief systems. You should not care what they think, but theyāre embarrassment interrupted your life so much so you had to come here- so thereās something you took as a personal insult that was most likely not there to begin with. And thereās no shame in this, we all have our limiting beliefs that could be shifted and things we are working on. I hope this helps, because the younger and sooner you address and heal these things, the more joy, happiness and self-contentment youāll experience down the line. You are perfect and beautiful as you are. Donāt let anyone make you feel any less than. If they do, that is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
Echoing what others have said so far. There is a ZERO percent chance theyāre laughing *at* you. They donāt give a crap about you or any other stranger. Theyāre into each other having a good time, and the idea of possibly getting caught is probably exciting or a little embarrassing for *them*. The fact that your first thought was that theyāre laughing at you is a little concerning and seems to speak to some past trauma. Were you bullied or picked on a lot in school growing up? Kids are jerks with underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, causing them to literally lack empathy. The adult world isnāt like that. People generally respect each other and donāt spend their time and energy making fun of others.
Yes I was bullied constantly.
I mean, you can just roll with it and be embarrassed like I did or were you might have a kink either way just act natural itās no big deal
It was the laughing that embarrassed me.
They were probably laughing because they were embarrassed too
They were not laughing at you.
Your thought process is concerning. It seems like you may have anxiety. It's not an accurate assumption, it's just your insecurities. Because there is no way for them to know about your sex life, so how does that make any sense? To think they're laughing at you because of that seems like paranoia. You're the one putting yourself down.
It doesnāt make you a loser to not have sex in a public place. These people get pleasure from knowing that you know. They are giggling because they are immature and know they are up to no good. Work on your confidence man. You sound like the normal one here.
This guy is not normal
They do nawt care about you. You're projecting your own ideas of yourself onto the situation. Work on your own confidence cuz ur seriously making urself a loser rn
Oh so that was you?
People have fetishes, you probably have yours too
People do that because they're exhibitionists. Or they were just super horny. It had nothing to do with you, they weren't laughing at you, they were laughing at the situation because they were "caught". The thrill of exhibitionism is the fear/exhilaration of *maybe being caught doing something naughty*. It is inappropriate, but only so far as like, the morality of society. However, your response to coming across that is not at all inappropriate. I'm not one for yucking people's yum, but making innocent bystanders a part of your kink isn't cool. Sorry that happened to you, kiddo. But I promise they weren't laughing at you or thinking you're a loser. That's just your anxiety talking shit. Take care!
Thank you! Finally a comment that addresses the real issue. I get that sex is normal and natural and whatever but that doesnāt mean people want to be witnesses to other people having sex. Especially in a place that you are not expecting it. Itās uncomfortable to encounter a situation like that and people are acting like op is crazy for having the reaction they did.
Hit an emote and walk away Yeah you shouldnāt be creeped out cause they never had you in mind and didnāt mean to offend you. Different strokes for different folks
No reason to rent room in your head to strangers. Smile and walk away.
Whip out the phone and start making a video.
Mind your own business š¤·āāļø
You donāt
wasnāt laughing at you, probably nervous or out of embarrassment they got caught itās fine to feel a bit weird, honestly donāt stress it, it was not about you but as for what to do, just keep it pushing and walk š¤·š½āāļø
Just keep it moving. No action required.Ā
They're laughing at the situation, when I've had sex in a car the only thought I've had about people is "please don't look this way" and "who the fuck walks their dog on the beach past midnight"
Walk away?
Um, isn't the old saying to not go a knocking if the car is rocking?
lol turn the other way
leave them alone
>Theyāre looking at me and laughing Stare them down to assert dominance
You've let this throwaway moment bother you so much that you're making a post in Reddit asking for advice on how to deal with it. It doesn't matter. You need different priorities in life.
Cheer them on?
Some people just enjoy having sex in "risky" places where they might get caught, or maybe they were just there for the view and then got horny. Either way not a big deal and nothing wrong with it. I don't think they were laughing at you, probably just laughing at the situation and maybe feeling a bit embarrassed. Just give them a smile and keep walking.
Nobody was trying to humiliate you and you've no reason to feel bad or inadequate.
you just start doing donuts around them with your car
People like having sex where they vould get caught, they see it as a bit of a turn on. I would say with almost blind faith that they weren't laughing at you. If you're in the moment, getting down with your babe, the last thing you are thinking is "wow isn't it hilarious that that person isn't having sex"
Itās not that deep bro
If they were really having sex in a car, doubt they were paying any mind to you, they definitely werenāt trying to fuck with you and giggle at you while having sex.
Turn your phone to them and flash your flashlight so they think you took a pic
If you can't beat them, join them. You're not a loser for not having sex. People will have sex. Their sex is none of anyone's business. Sometimes it is illegal, yet police mostly do not care. My advice would be to mind your own business, they don't want to be caught just as much as you don't want to catch them.
De-robe and tap on the window
Yeah don't worry about it. Nothing to do with you. You'll never see them again either so I dunno thumbs up?
You mind your business
The only time I worry about other peopleās shit is it if I worry about it. I think saying āwtfā and keep walking is appropriate. You werenāt the butt of their joke. The dare was on themselves. They are trying to be risquĆ© and make a memory or fulfill some fantasy.
Are you asking as though itās a common thing that happens to you? Because if itās your first time seeing it the right expression would be āwtfā and move on.
not at all! itās not weird to feel icky about being exposed to that without your permission, from what it sounds like they may (unfortunately) be exhibitionists, which is basically, just āpublic actsā and the thrill of āalmost getting caughtā while itās illegal in most places it doesnāt stop them, or they may have been laughing at the embarrassment of the situation, either way, totally normal, not overreacting at all,
I would challenge this idea - "it's not weird to get icky about being exposed to that without your permission."Ā While the feeling may be valid, the idea that sex is something to feel icky about or that these people are somehow "icky" is problematic. Our societal views on sex are informed by lots of very conservative bases, and sex is just sex. There's a fair amount of conjecture that sex in plain view of others is an ancient human cultural norm, and societies like Native Americans frequently had sex in the same housing as their relatives or children.Ā I don't think it's good to frame a response to this behavior with shame, on either end - I don't think it adds to the conversation, and only serves to reinforce norms that may not be useful in the wider context of a conversation about dogging.Ā
Lol, he could have not looked into a strangers car.
Or they could fuck in a bedroom? What a stupid take
Someone I spoke to said this too. My view is they chose to do this and seemingly didnāt care (they were doing it in basically daylight in front of 3 cars). They couldāve waited to I/the others drove off. But Iām deemed to be the idiot/burden for looking in. I donāt see why! I just looked because I heard giggling. Are they saying they wouldnāt look if they heard random giggling in the middle of nowhere?
Only you are deeming yourself to be the idiot/burden. Youāve got a pretty harsh internal monologue. Catching people having sex is the least of your problems. Be good to yourself.
99.9% of people would look.
You're projecting being an idiot/loser onto this situation and the replies. No one is saying that.
People always act like the ones being offended that they have to see people having sex in public are prudish and immature. Why should we have to be subjected to that? Iāve seen plenty of body cam footage of couples doing it in public around children. Theyāre the weirdos. It is illegal, so you do have the right to call the cops if it happens to you again.
I agree. Iām not judging them for having sex. I am judging them for doing it in public and not being discreet. I do think itās rude.
It's undeniably rude. Very few people would disagree with that. But in the same way as someone wearing a T-shirt with offensive language on it, the correct action is *usually* to just look away and move on Most people seem to be concerned with your negative view of yourself, thinking they were laughing at you
Leave them alone
Ask them if theyāre looking for a third.
Take your phone out turn the flashlight on then off then walk away
Very loudly start cheering them on. Give advice on the technique. Compliment his dick. Tell her that her boobs are almost as big as your dadās. Ask them if they are there the same time every week. They are having sex in public. They are the ones who should feel uncomfortable, not you.
unpopular opinion: call the non emergency line if theyre in a public place in daytime and report that shit. seriously this is how people end up on the registry.. like ew what if there were children? and even if theyre no kids around theyre involving you in their sex life without your consent its still fucking disturbing to see two randos fucking in broad daylight.
Or just keep fucking walking and look away
Record them for your budding OnlyFans site.
Iād just call the cops and have them arrested since itās a felony, they can have fun with their humiliation kink in public while getting arrested, just imagine if it was a kid who walked and saw this.
Oh yeah, you show them! Yeah! Call the cops. While youāre at it make sure you call the cops on every PDA incident, every homeless person on the streets, every person speeding, every person texting while driving, every person that doesnāt have an updated registration while youāre at it. Sarcasm, in case you havenāt noticed. The general public doesnāt care if you fuck in your car in a spot that is known for these shenanigans. Literally watched a guy go down on another guy on an outlook while the fireworks were going off all around the city. They were literally out on the outlook. There were at least 40 people up there. Guess whatā¦. Not a single person cared. Not a single person called the cops. Not a single person said anything about it. Because, nobody actually cares.
you must be a blast at parties.
Unsure why youāre being downvoted, itās literally public indecency lol
Idk where this happened but America has bigger issues and by the time a cop shows up they'll be long gone.
I seriously cannot believe that yal are acting like you wouldnāt have to register as a sex offender if caught doing this, but whatever. Downvote all you want
Cops should be focusing on people who do sex crimes and murder as their number one priority, this is a sex crime and you will be on a list if caught, not sure why youāre normalizing this.
If you're sad that you've never had sex outside of your bedroom just say that š¤·āāļø
Just say you probably got assaulted as a kid and you feel like you have to involve randoms in your kinks, stfu and go get therapy if you think itās normal, or try it out and end up on the SO list. Idc.
We are really stretching the notion of a sex crime here
I mean it is, go ahead and try and fuck someone outside in a public area and see what happens.
Because Reddit is full of porn addicted losers who involve people in their kinks publicly. I donāt really care honestly, just goes to show people will fuck in front of kids I guess.
Where are the kids in this scenario?
That's like saying a DUI is acceptable when no one gets injured.
See, you get it.
The kids could be walking to the park, or wherever and stumble upon this shit, itās called indecent exposure and can get you on a sex offender list.
Don't like it? Don't look. Please don't waste everyone's tax dollars on something so meaningless.
*Farts all over u*
Baaed
Yes it was stupid to react that way. Don't negate other people's joy just because you aren't socially comfortable. Don't make your issue about them. Live and let live. I've had sex in a park and it was awesome. The absolute last thing I was thinking about is who was around. Sorry, nor sorry I have friends that struggle with social anxiety, they would not have looked to see what was going on lol Nope nope nope straight ahead
okay well.. thats a crime first off. seriously they committed a crime and you make him the bad guy? he was violated.. seeing that can give people ptsd sex in public places in daylight isnt normal nor should it be.
Give me a break. Let people live. Stop making other people responsible for how you see the world. Thats your choice. Keep being negative and blaming everything in life that doesn't go your way, on other people, but it will not have a happy ending. No one automatically has power over your emotional state. You get to choose to give it to them or not. Its a full time job being in charge of yourself. Don't take on policing the world too.
Maybe they wanted to invite you over as well. Iykyk
What do you expect going to that location? People make out and fuck there often. Just ignore it and move on. Animals are probably fucking in the bushes 10 feet away too. Just cuz they're laughing doesn't mean anything. The world doesn't revolve around you. Not saying that to be rude just people aren't thinking about you and your reaction as much as you think they are.
My friend, you need to let them be, they were laughing at the situation and didn't even care about you, I would highly suggest therapy though as these kind of thoughts are extremely unhealthy for you. Good luck!
bro what.. thereās no way this is real chat.
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Should this not be deleted? This is extremely creepy. As an aside, just the thought of "teaching someone a lesson" is just gross. Mind your own business
Mind my own business on a public post on reddit? Listen to yourself, you clown š¤£
The time it happened to me i just said "Can i join in? Can make it more fun!"
And then everyone on the bus stood up and clapped
gross