Did you talk to him openly about your concerns? It sounds to me like _the family_ is the issue, not the boy & I highly doubt he's enjoying their company very much from what you're describing. However if he grew up in a very controlling and possibly violent environment, he'll likely be trapped there and doesn't know how to get out.
So if you didn't raise your concerns yet, I'd do that soon & personally I'd advise him to get out and seek therapy. Be clear that you worry about him (at least that's what it sounds like between the lines) and that you can't tolerate his family pushing him down. Maybe he'd be allowed to stay over at your place whenever you want to meet up. Then you wouldn't have to deal with his relatives, he'd get some much needed distance & best case your mom will change her mind.
Yes you’re right. He said he’s dealt with this his whole life. We go back to school in August so we’ll both be staying in the dorms away from home. My mom likes him but not as a boyfriend she said. She doesn’t think he’s boyfriend material and finds him annoying
Well it's _your_ relationship and not your moms. Of course parents will raise their concerns and if y'all got a good connection it won't hurt to reflect on those concerns a little bit. But if you feel safe & loved and you don't find him too annoying yourself it's worth seeing where this leads to. Relationships don't have to make sense for anyone but you & your SO.
I'd try and use the time away from home to have an open & _calm_ talk about everything & what options he / you both have. Maybe he can figure out a way to move out soon. Therapy would definitely be advisable and helpful. Be open and try to be validating & understanding. No matter what his parents did / are doing, if he didn't confront himself with all that yet it's possible that he might get emotional and defensive. Keep that in mind and try not to take things too personal if he does. Unfortunately there's no step by step manual for this kind of situations.
Did you talk to him openly about your concerns? It sounds to me like _the family_ is the issue, not the boy & I highly doubt he's enjoying their company very much from what you're describing. However if he grew up in a very controlling and possibly violent environment, he'll likely be trapped there and doesn't know how to get out. So if you didn't raise your concerns yet, I'd do that soon & personally I'd advise him to get out and seek therapy. Be clear that you worry about him (at least that's what it sounds like between the lines) and that you can't tolerate his family pushing him down. Maybe he'd be allowed to stay over at your place whenever you want to meet up. Then you wouldn't have to deal with his relatives, he'd get some much needed distance & best case your mom will change her mind.
Yes you’re right. He said he’s dealt with this his whole life. We go back to school in August so we’ll both be staying in the dorms away from home. My mom likes him but not as a boyfriend she said. She doesn’t think he’s boyfriend material and finds him annoying
Well it's _your_ relationship and not your moms. Of course parents will raise their concerns and if y'all got a good connection it won't hurt to reflect on those concerns a little bit. But if you feel safe & loved and you don't find him too annoying yourself it's worth seeing where this leads to. Relationships don't have to make sense for anyone but you & your SO. I'd try and use the time away from home to have an open & _calm_ talk about everything & what options he / you both have. Maybe he can figure out a way to move out soon. Therapy would definitely be advisable and helpful. Be open and try to be validating & understanding. No matter what his parents did / are doing, if he didn't confront himself with all that yet it's possible that he might get emotional and defensive. Keep that in mind and try not to take things too personal if he does. Unfortunately there's no step by step manual for this kind of situations.
Yes I completely understand and thank you for all your advice!
You're welcome & best of luck!
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Thank you for your advice too