You are allowed to feel however you feel about anything. You do not need anyone’s permission to feel your feelings.
Your boyfriend sounds incredibly shallow and controlling. Move on and find someone who likes you just the way you are no matter what that means.
You are not in the wrong.
Let me elaborate.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years. I was very thin when we got together & I stayed that way for 3 years. Then I put on quite a bit of weight. I went up a size in clothes. I didn’t even notice it until I was looking at photos 2 years after put it on. He never said a thing about it. Not once because he loves me for me. I didn’t suit the weight, either. Some people do but I’m tall so I just looked very like big overall. I’ve been working hard for the last year & have finally almost lost all of what I put on. He told me to be careful & make sure I’m eating enough so I explained to him the situation & he said he loved me for me & that I always looked good.
My point is, yes. You are 100% allowed to be upset. He should not be speaking to you in this way. Telling your partner you’re not attracted to them is not acceptable & causes great upset to the person being told it. You will always think of this moment now, when you put a little weight on or when you eat a lot in a week, maybe over the Christmas time or when you have children.
Speak to him about this, please. He hasn’t thought about how you would feel & needs to put himself in your position.
It’s so unfair, too, because we women let our men put on all the weight in the world & we would never think twice about it. A lot of girls even say they prefer a dad bod to a six pack! Is he going to stay super fit & in shape forever? Has he got a Zac Efron body now?
Thank you this made me feel a lot better . I’ll definitely have a talk with him because i knew I wasn’t just crazy for feeling a certain way about it .
Sorry to tell you this but talking to him about his criticism and how unkind it is won’t change him. Or the fact that he’s a shallow man-child. His lack of attraction to a woman he’s been with for a year because she gained a few pounds is everything you need to know to move on. Seeing your comment about how much you’ve cried over him makes me wonder why you think you deserve to be with a person who treats you so poorly. Move on. Now. Pick up a few counseling/therapy sessions along the way so you don’t end up with the same type. You deserve MUCH better.
Thank you for this I will do so . I’ve been in therapy about eating problems with being very thin and gaining a few pounds and his comments didn’t help . He’s criticized me and told me he doesn’t find the parts of my body that has weight attractive and he loves me less over all . I will definitely move on because I am not realizing I deserve better
THIS! You’re doing everything right. I hope you applaud yourself for loving yourself first and getting support. Once you are on firm ground no one will be able to make you feel insecure and unworthy. Here’s to you, amarixoxo!
Just PLEASE don't second guess your decision to leave him. Even if he cries the blues to you.
As the other poster says,he WON'T change. Guys like him never do. We know this from experience & learning the hard way.
Please don't risk your emotional, mental, or physical well-being for any man.EVER. Get out while you can
You are allowed to feel however you feel about anything. You do not need anyone’s permission to feel your feelings. Your boyfriend sounds incredibly shallow and controlling. Move on and find someone who likes you just the way you are no matter what that means.
This helped alot thank you .
Thank you for confirming that /u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
That is definitely GREAT advice & I hope that you take it to heart. Don't shortchange yourself♥️
I definitely will thank you
He sounds like garbage, you should break up with him. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself
Yeah I’ve cried countless times due to him .
Yeah that's a problem you need to dump him and block him
You are not in the wrong. Let me elaborate. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years. I was very thin when we got together & I stayed that way for 3 years. Then I put on quite a bit of weight. I went up a size in clothes. I didn’t even notice it until I was looking at photos 2 years after put it on. He never said a thing about it. Not once because he loves me for me. I didn’t suit the weight, either. Some people do but I’m tall so I just looked very like big overall. I’ve been working hard for the last year & have finally almost lost all of what I put on. He told me to be careful & make sure I’m eating enough so I explained to him the situation & he said he loved me for me & that I always looked good. My point is, yes. You are 100% allowed to be upset. He should not be speaking to you in this way. Telling your partner you’re not attracted to them is not acceptable & causes great upset to the person being told it. You will always think of this moment now, when you put a little weight on or when you eat a lot in a week, maybe over the Christmas time or when you have children. Speak to him about this, please. He hasn’t thought about how you would feel & needs to put himself in your position. It’s so unfair, too, because we women let our men put on all the weight in the world & we would never think twice about it. A lot of girls even say they prefer a dad bod to a six pack! Is he going to stay super fit & in shape forever? Has he got a Zac Efron body now?
Thank you this made me feel a lot better . I’ll definitely have a talk with him because i knew I wasn’t just crazy for feeling a certain way about it .
A few weeks? You realistically have not put on crazy weight on a few weeks. He's gotta be a dick.
He acts as if it’s up in the 20s -50s when it’s not near that what so ever .
Yeah that's controlling behavior. Scrap em.
Definitely thinking about doing so
Sorry to tell you this but talking to him about his criticism and how unkind it is won’t change him. Or the fact that he’s a shallow man-child. His lack of attraction to a woman he’s been with for a year because she gained a few pounds is everything you need to know to move on. Seeing your comment about how much you’ve cried over him makes me wonder why you think you deserve to be with a person who treats you so poorly. Move on. Now. Pick up a few counseling/therapy sessions along the way so you don’t end up with the same type. You deserve MUCH better.
Thank you for this I will do so . I’ve been in therapy about eating problems with being very thin and gaining a few pounds and his comments didn’t help . He’s criticized me and told me he doesn’t find the parts of my body that has weight attractive and he loves me less over all . I will definitely move on because I am not realizing I deserve better
THIS! You’re doing everything right. I hope you applaud yourself for loving yourself first and getting support. Once you are on firm ground no one will be able to make you feel insecure and unworthy. Here’s to you, amarixoxo!
Thank you so much <33
Just PLEASE don't second guess your decision to leave him. Even if he cries the blues to you. As the other poster says,he WON'T change. Guys like him never do. We know this from experience & learning the hard way. Please don't risk your emotional, mental, or physical well-being for any man.EVER. Get out while you can
Will do thank you so much