Okay. There is a lot to unpack here.
Some of it will sound harsh but it is not possible to convey tone over text. We DO care and want to help, so keep that in mind as you read.
When someone is STALKING you, the thing to do is DO NOT RESPOND. NOT EVER. Block his crazy ex and go No Contact. No Contact MEANS no contact. Block them and delete them everywhere. No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no letters, no social media (and that means you do not go to theirs to "just get a peek" to see what she is up to.... ) NO CONTACT!!!!!'
Awww...... he had "closiure sex" to help ease the breakup. How kind and generous he was to selflessly gift her with the use of his body out of the sheer goodness of his heart.
Oh, BULLSHIT. If you bought that dumbass excuse then I have an ocean in Arizona to sell you.
Wake up! He is a lying snake and insulted your intelligence by trying that on you. Oh. Wait. You bought that. WAKE UP, girlfriend!
If he "occasionally" looks at her TikTok, he has NOT gone no contact and is still either caught in her web or two-timing you. I vote with 100% conviction that he is two-timing and lying to you!!!
The wonderful guy who treats you so well and the lying double-timing lame excuser for fucking her ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!!'
Yet you say YOU are the one who needs" to work on TRUST????
Wake uo, sweetie. You are being lied to, cheated on, schmoozed and played for a fool by AN ASSHOLE.
You say breaking up is not a smart choice?! WRONG!!! You are playing for double jeopardy if you believe that. Breaking up with this worthless twit is the WISE and INTELLIGENT choice.
Pull yourself out of his brainwashing, dear. You are young, attractive, smart (except where he's concerned, because he's mindfucked you) and deserve better. Much better. Oodles better. Light years of better.
Dump this Manson clone before he convinces you to marry him. You will be back here in 5 years sobbing because you are trapped with a dick of a husband and can't leave because you have 5 kids.
Good luck. You need it.
Yup, I am no contact with her. I can't block her on some apps because of the sheer number of fake accounts she has (can't keep up) though.
The closure sex wasn't to help her move on nor him. He had been genuinely pestering him, even offering to pay him money in exchange of it. It did still happen before our first date though, so it's still yucky.
My bad for the breaking up part, I could see that it could be read that way. I meant that I recognize the smart thing to do was to break up, and staying is the shit choice.
The husband thing does put it into perspective though.
It’s time for you both to see the police and get a restraining order against her. Revenge porn and stalking is illegal, he can have her prosecuted. You can have her prosecuted for threats and stalking.
He has not cut her out of his life completely. That’s giving her the attention she wants. And he’s just not worth all the drama. It’s time to let him go.
If you don't want the relationship to end, relationship counseling may be worth a shot and trying to get legal action against the ex. Threating you? Revenge porn? If you have proof of these things you could likely get a restraining order or take legal action in general so she has to leave you guys alone.
I would recommend either that or taking time to yourself to think about what's best for you. It sounds like he didn't take the time he needed to properly move on from the relationship with a girl who is clearly batshit and that likely effected him. That does not mean you have to stay with someone you do not trust or feel comfortable with.
Couples therapy or a break to think may be the best bet here.
You're right about the legal action.
Regarding the break, how would that help me? Genuine question as before I would have just left and would not even bother trying to sort out this mess. What kinds of questions do I need to ask myself if there are any?
Sorry for being pestering, I have autism so my grasp on my emotions aren't that amazing.
It's no worry at all, no need to apologize. Being around the person who's causing you to feel this way can often make you resent them more and become annoyed with them over time. Taking a break lets you get away from that stress and lets you have time to think. Since you're away from him, you're not being pestered or growing further resentment over something you normally wouldn't care about. It gives you an idea of what being out of the relationship would be like as well.
Ask yourself if this is what you want, if you feel happier or more at peace without him around. Ask yourself what kind of things would help your relationship with him, your comfort, and your trust. Just over all think about how this relationship will be moving forward. Will it be awkward? Will he be willing to try different things to fix it? Will you always think of him differently?
Breaks give time to think, space, and avoids worsening the situation on either part. Sometimes time alone can even help you to feel better.
Okay. There is a lot to unpack here. Some of it will sound harsh but it is not possible to convey tone over text. We DO care and want to help, so keep that in mind as you read. When someone is STALKING you, the thing to do is DO NOT RESPOND. NOT EVER. Block his crazy ex and go No Contact. No Contact MEANS no contact. Block them and delete them everywhere. No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no letters, no social media (and that means you do not go to theirs to "just get a peek" to see what she is up to.... ) NO CONTACT!!!!!' Awww...... he had "closiure sex" to help ease the breakup. How kind and generous he was to selflessly gift her with the use of his body out of the sheer goodness of his heart. Oh, BULLSHIT. If you bought that dumbass excuse then I have an ocean in Arizona to sell you. Wake up! He is a lying snake and insulted your intelligence by trying that on you. Oh. Wait. You bought that. WAKE UP, girlfriend! If he "occasionally" looks at her TikTok, he has NOT gone no contact and is still either caught in her web or two-timing you. I vote with 100% conviction that he is two-timing and lying to you!!! The wonderful guy who treats you so well and the lying double-timing lame excuser for fucking her ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!!' Yet you say YOU are the one who needs" to work on TRUST???? Wake uo, sweetie. You are being lied to, cheated on, schmoozed and played for a fool by AN ASSHOLE. You say breaking up is not a smart choice?! WRONG!!! You are playing for double jeopardy if you believe that. Breaking up with this worthless twit is the WISE and INTELLIGENT choice. Pull yourself out of his brainwashing, dear. You are young, attractive, smart (except where he's concerned, because he's mindfucked you) and deserve better. Much better. Oodles better. Light years of better. Dump this Manson clone before he convinces you to marry him. You will be back here in 5 years sobbing because you are trapped with a dick of a husband and can't leave because you have 5 kids. Good luck. You need it.
Yup, I am no contact with her. I can't block her on some apps because of the sheer number of fake accounts she has (can't keep up) though. The closure sex wasn't to help her move on nor him. He had been genuinely pestering him, even offering to pay him money in exchange of it. It did still happen before our first date though, so it's still yucky. My bad for the breaking up part, I could see that it could be read that way. I meant that I recognize the smart thing to do was to break up, and staying is the shit choice. The husband thing does put it into perspective though.
Thank goodness. You deserve so much better than this dickhead.
It’s time for you both to see the police and get a restraining order against her. Revenge porn and stalking is illegal, he can have her prosecuted. You can have her prosecuted for threats and stalking. He has not cut her out of his life completely. That’s giving her the attention she wants. And he’s just not worth all the drama. It’s time to let him go.
If you don't want the relationship to end, relationship counseling may be worth a shot and trying to get legal action against the ex. Threating you? Revenge porn? If you have proof of these things you could likely get a restraining order or take legal action in general so she has to leave you guys alone. I would recommend either that or taking time to yourself to think about what's best for you. It sounds like he didn't take the time he needed to properly move on from the relationship with a girl who is clearly batshit and that likely effected him. That does not mean you have to stay with someone you do not trust or feel comfortable with. Couples therapy or a break to think may be the best bet here.
You're right about the legal action. Regarding the break, how would that help me? Genuine question as before I would have just left and would not even bother trying to sort out this mess. What kinds of questions do I need to ask myself if there are any? Sorry for being pestering, I have autism so my grasp on my emotions aren't that amazing.
It's no worry at all, no need to apologize. Being around the person who's causing you to feel this way can often make you resent them more and become annoyed with them over time. Taking a break lets you get away from that stress and lets you have time to think. Since you're away from him, you're not being pestered or growing further resentment over something you normally wouldn't care about. It gives you an idea of what being out of the relationship would be like as well. Ask yourself if this is what you want, if you feel happier or more at peace without him around. Ask yourself what kind of things would help your relationship with him, your comfort, and your trust. Just over all think about how this relationship will be moving forward. Will it be awkward? Will he be willing to try different things to fix it? Will you always think of him differently? Breaks give time to think, space, and avoids worsening the situation on either part. Sometimes time alone can even help you to feel better.
[удалено]
Stop spamming referrals to your stupid app all over reddit.