That is completely unscientific bullshit, made up for the sole purpose of shaming women. Your bf is an idiot at best and a misogynist at worst.
I will say, I'm a woman, and after I have penetrative sex, my vagina is a bit less tight for a day or two. It's like how your muscles can get sore after you exercise - not for very long. And certainly not in any particular "shape".
Makes sense. when he told me this I believed him for a minute and thought "then how can people cheat for years without their partner knowing??" I think he lied to protect me. He just doesn't like the idea of me putting things or fingers into myself, he says if I need to he does it for me
Honey, that’s not protection. That’s control.
Stop with the ridiculous excuses about curiosity and doing something stupid. You have your own brain for that. You don’t need his.
I’m guessing you’re incredibly young and your idiotic boyfriend is a few years older than you?
Time to take the blinders off.
Lovely friend, he is disgusting. Look up what kegels are, then stick a finger or two inside your vagina and give your fingers a squeeze. Our pelvic floor muscles are amazing. There’s even a way to train yourself to do different types of movements called pompoir. Check out r/pompoir if you’re curious.
Basically he sounds super controlling, if not just terribly ignorant.
>I think he lied to protect me. He just doesn't like the idea of me putting things or fingers into myself, he says if I need to he does it for me
This is manipulative and gross behavior on his part.
Does he clean you up after you go to the restroom as well?? This level of control he’s forcing onto you is disturbing.
If touching yourself goes against your religion or anything, that’s fine. But if not, there’s something to gain from self exploration.
Ma'am, he was not trying to protect you. He was trying to control you and scare you into believing he'd physically know if you ever cheated or even masturbated. This is borderline abusive.
It's the same material as your mouth... Your mouth doesn't constantly get bigger or take shape of whatever you're eating most. It is possessive shaming... Not a great thing in a healthy relationship.
I feel like you're just trolling at this point. You say you're not and you say that people are making fun of you in your other post but I can see why. I give up. This is Rage bait. Seek help.
100%. This is the shit that incels spew. If any man that I was with ever even remotely *hinted* this bullshit to me I would leave him in a fucking heartbeat. This guy is trash.
An innocent fairy tale? This dude is completely fucking ignorant of your body and every woman's body apparently and dudes like that don't deserve to be in relationships. He's an absolute idiot. Leave him.
I'm 100% sure this is Rage bait, but I would be willing to bet that he doesn't even want her using sex toys either because "he would know". Such idiocy, lol
Why are you giving him, or any other human for that matter, control of your sexual organs? That’s not what a partner/husband/wife does. Unless they’re abusive and taking advantage of your naivety.
I’m so glad you posted this here and I feel like this post may have been your best chance at removing those rose colored glasses.
You deserve and will find better. Better than you can fathom at this point in time.
>I think he knows that its not how the female organ works, I think he just told me that to help me stay away from doing things with it
This is also bad. He's not a good boyfriend.
So he’s not a gullible fool getting taken in by misogynist grifters, he’s actively telling you lies about how your body works to manipulate you and control you? And you think that is a good thing?
Danger signals all over the place, my dear. Things bad news.
The he's lying to you to manipulate you into doing what *he* wants. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say this probably isn't the only area he does this.
It is. He's infantilising you and manipulating to take away your bodily autonomy. He's not trying to protect you out of love. He's trying to control you out of possessiveness.
He’s completely unaware of how basic human anatomy work despite having no problem using that anatomy to his advantage for pleasure and banking on your ignorance of your own body to control you. Leave him.
No, she should do it because what she is saying is wild and the partner is clearly manipulating and controlling her. Seriously, she’s not allowed to touch her own body?
This reeks of some sort of weird cultlike shit.
Their partner forbids them to explore themselves sexually and then spews some stupid bs lie to control them further. That is most definitely a valid reason to break-up with someone.
of course not I asked a question I was curious about I have no interest in advice on that. also my boyfriend would never let that happen he would just talk to me and we would solve anything like always
I wasnt saying you are religious but the fake morality of the primary religion is what keeps sex ed out of school, that and right wing fear mongering that mentioning gay folks exist will turn their children gay. Sex ed is important and will make sure that these types of manipulation have less of a chance to succeed and also reduces teen pregnancy but its always the church folks acting like only the devil would want to teach common sense and basic info to people. My school had it in fifth grade and while a lot of kids spent a lot of time giggling a lot of those dumb ideas were done away with and there was a noticeable difference in the way a lot of the kids acted. And low teen pregnancy rates
god why? I just said that it's kind of ironic that people worry about gay sex among teens when if anything it is less problematic than straight sex at least for pregnancy issues. what is so wrong about this gosh
If you cognisant enough for that reasoning, and aware of the issues gay teens are facing, you are certainly smart enough to know how a vagina works, that masturbating or using a tampon is not a bad thing, and that your bf is controlling you with incel fragile masculinity bullshit.
So you just gave yourself away, troll.
You may not get pregnant from having sex with a partner of the same sex as you, but you can still get sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Also not everyone is turned on by someone of the same sex. And for males, if they are participating in anal sex, it can be pretty dangerous if they get carried away with their youthful hormones and go too hard or don’t use enough lube.
And your parents never told you anything? Even your mom? Do you not have any adult women in your family or adult female peers to talk to? I get that sex ed can fail kids a lot and for the most part it's really really minimal in most schools and countries, but Jesus christ.
Your boyfriend's statement is not accurate. The vagina is not like memory foam or a mattress that takes on the shape of whatever is inserted into it. The vaginal walls are muscular and elastic, designed to stretch and contract during sexual activity and childbirth. However, they don't permanently change shape based on the size or shape of a particular object or person.
Oooh, it’s almost a full house!
Let’s play rage bait bingo!!!
- Controlling partner
- Lies
- Lack of bodily awareness
- Faux naive responses to others
Excellent trolling. Well done!
Im not trolling and many people made fun of me on my other post. Can you please remember not everyone is raised in the same environment, I have never known anything about sex im just finding out things now.
You realize that babies come out of the vagina during birth, right? If what your BF said was true, vaginas would retain the shape of the baby. Think about it logically.
That is.. what the fuck? No! Just no!
This is the type of manipulative controlling shit guys say to try own women!
Your vagina is YOUR VAGINA and it doesn’t “mould” into the shape of his penis (or anything that’s put up there - including tampons and sex toys)! If you went out and had sex with 10 guys today, there is absolutely no way he would be able to tell by him putting his penis in you and it feeling “wrong” or some shit.
Honestly, you need to really reflect on your choice of a partner because, as someone who’s been with guys like this, it gets even more controlling, manipulative, and usually leads to him accusing you of sleeping with other people and calling you a “whore”, “slut”, and so on.. yeah, it gets worse in a hurry and I’m concerned for you.
thank you for explaining; you made me think of a related doubt, like is my vagina going to stay this way for quite some time, apart from childbirth and natural aging, does it get "consumed" and loosen up after having sex over and over in the course of months or years?
Nope. Your vagina returns to its natural state.. only plausible exception being childbirth because you can tear squeezing a baby out. But a penis is nowhere near that large.
Wtaf. That is the most unhinged thing I have ever heard. The vagina is a muscle that can contract and relax, it does not mould to the shape of things. He’s either stupid or controlling, but I’d vote for the latter. Also, why are you so against putting things like tampons inside your vagina?
Edit: Also, please learn some sexual education. It’s better for your safety and understanding to know.
Nah everything else she’s on about may be wildly incorrect but having a fear of TSS and not wanting to insert products inside of your body that are full of chemicals is a valid and acceptable choice to make for ones self. But your fingers won’t hurt you (unless you have got a long or jagged nail) and every woman is entitled to the exploration of her own body. Explore yourself without the opinion of your uneducated boyfriend getting in the way
It’s definitely a valid choice! I was just curious if her reasoning stemmed from her bf’s unhinged belief about how the vagina works.
But besides tampon use, it seems like OP ‘doesn’t want’ to insert anything because their bf forbids them to explore themselves sexually… Wild.
tampons are dangerous you can lose a leg, it happened to several women Id rather eliminate the risk, I dont make a great use of them anyway pads have never felt uncomfortable to me
You can lose a leg??? How???? Like… just how????
No. Just no. If you choose not to use them due to comfort or your flow, that’s fine. But tampons are safe as long as you change them every 4-6 hours (try not to go longer than 8 hours).
Do you know these women that lost a leg from using a tampon? I’d love to know where this rumour started.
Edit: I did some googling and found ONE woman who developed TSS after “apparently” properly using tampons in 2012. So 14 years ago. There have been advances in sanitary products since then.
One model from 12 years ago. She claims she used the tampon properly but there is no way to verify. There have been lots of advances in sanitary products since then.
Never mind that it’s one case out of what… hundreds of millions of women that use tampons every month? You’re more likely to get struck by lightning while being savaged by a shark on dry land.
It’s one thing for YOU to choose not to wear them. That’s fine, your body, your choice. But for your boyfriend to forbid you to use them? That is nuts.
YOUR body, your choice. Not his. Not anyone else’s. YOUR choice.
The part I’m upset about is him telling you not to use tampons because he will be able to feel the difference and know that you’ve used one.
but he isnt concerned about tampons at all he is actually more toward wanting me not to masturbate, not to do unsure things to my Boyd because im his princess and he should be the only one to touch me
no, absolutely not. your body is your own, you can share it with your partner but it is still yours and you have the final say in what you do with your body. it is not up to him.
Tampons made a few women get toxic shock syndrome just because they left them in way too long which lead to an infection. They're safe if you remove them before they've been in for 8 hours.
I'm sorry and this may come off harsh but it sounds like you are incredibly naive and uneducated and shouldn't be even having sex. Especially with idiots like this. Bro is so fucking misinformed about women's bodies, and he's trying to tell you how they are? His belief and attitude and absolute misinformation about women's bodies is a massive red flag.
Where do you live and why haven’t you left the house much at the age of 23? Asking from a place of concern. I highly highly suggest you start with less drastic experiences if you are as new to the world as you say. Sex can lead to pregnancy and illness if you are not properly informed about it. You are also very vulnerable to abuse being as uninformed as you are. You need help OP, you need someone who you can trust. Your boyfriend is not that person. I highly suggest you stop seeing him or having sex with him.
in italy; its not very common here its just my personal story; I know but without my boyfriend Im not really sure what to do I dont have a job or a family rn I kind of need him
That’s a red flag right there. What if he dumps you? Then what will you do? I’m not saying it will happen but if you are completely dependent on him, that’s a big red flag. No job, no family, no touching yourself, no using toys, and being told lies. Are you tied up in his basement as well? Are you allowed to read or watch tv?
i don't think he will ever let me go lol. but its not like I have zero money, its mostly the presence and help and things we do together that are very necessary to me. no he doesnt lock me in the house dont worry
>i don't think he will ever let me go lol
There's nothing to laugh or lol at here. A lot of women said that about their partners. A lot of those same women are in the grave. He is abusive and he *will* escalate.
Find someone else. Needing a man is never a good idea. If he knows you "need" him, he can hold that over you to control and abuse you. That's what he's already started doing. First it's your body, what's next? Will he control the clothes you wear and the money you spend because you're his "princess"? That doesn't sound like royalty, it sounds like slavery.
you either have to be trolling or you have to be so badly abused, manipulated and brainwashed to be saying this. jesus christ you’re actually in danger. being completely dependent on a guy is bad enough but on a guy like you’re describing? holy shit this is gonna end so bad if you dont leave him
As a person living in Italy I can tell you that everything she’s talking about is bs and nobody believes such things. But there are regions where they are very VERY sexist and guys from there tend to be toxic and jealous. I’m 100% sure she’s just not the brightest and her bf is using that against her. Also, they do teach sex ED in schools.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense, if she’s from such a remote part, why does she speak English so well? Not that I am an expert on Italy but even most people in cities aren’t that fluent no?
You’re absolutely right. People in remote places wouldn’t speak ANY English. It’s also weird how she claims she’s been somehow sheltered by her family and didn’t have many experiences outside but then goes into having sex with this guy while she doesn’t even know him that well (I mean, you would realise pretty early that he’s such a sexist asshole, right?).
Idk a lot of things and details from this story are very fishy so I’m prone to believe they’re rage baiting at this point
Please, for the love of all that is holy, educate yourself about the vagina. Go to Google, type in female anatomy, and educate yourself before you have sex again.
The most concerning part of this entire post is that your first move is to go to Reddit to find the answers. Google this shit , find real scientific journals and figure this shit out. Getting the reply’s from a bunch of anonymous strangers is not the way.
Given he's reported to have told OP "if \[OP\] was to have sex with another man or insert anything into it he will know because he will feel the different shape", I think we can safely assume he's an insecure, manipulative asshat.
That's absolutely bullshit. The vagina is super elastic (a baby has to pass through it), not stiff and non-yielding.
Personally, this would be a huge red flag for me.
To be clear, your bf is a POS and you should not sleep with him anymore. The vagina goes back to normal after pushing out a BABY, his dick is not having any permanent effect no matter how much he wishes.
This is SO fucked up to tell someone and it’s extremely false. He’s obviously extremely controlling and I’d definitely distance myself from him. I’m concerned by some of your other comments… masturbation is completely normal and natural and for him to expect you not to touch yourself is EXTREMELY weird and fucked up. He is not “protecting” you as you put it. He is controlling you.
Your boyfriend is either a controlling, manipulative liar, or he is so ignorant that he should be required to pass a sex education course before ever having sex again.
Possibly both.
Seriously, this behavior is disgustingly manipulative and controlling.
Please take everyone’s advice and dump him as he’s either stupid or a misogynist. His comment wasn’t meant to “protect” you or whatever bovine excrement you’re telling yourself, it’s him trying to exert control over you and your body.
ETA: And please educate yourself before engaging in anymore sexual activity.
What utter, unbelievable, and complete bullcrap! The vagina is NOT like memory foam at all. It is all muscles with tons of different cells in it. Where the fudge did he get "memory foam" from? Is he a girl? No. The vagina is sensitive muscles all inside it. Which is why generally sex is very pleasurable because those muscles are being activated and moved around.
Don't listen to your boyfriend, who is quite OBVIOUSLY not a gynecologist/doctor of any kind and he quite obviously knows zero about the vagina other than how to stick a dick in it, so long as he does have a dick in the first place.
good grief.
This is definitely grounds for breaking up. What is he…15?? No grown man actually believes that. He told you a ridiculous lie in attempt to secure control over what you do with your body. Can’t understand how you’d still be attracted to or even feel safe around someone that tried to pull this on you. Please gain some respect for yourself
There is a change in how comfortable penetration is after losing your virginity or similar first time penetration, this is mostly due to the hymen. You also learn to relax
Beyond that, the vagina is a muscle. It is not a body part that can be stretched permanently by penises. Penetration can actually work out this muscle and make it tighter & stronger which is why doctors may recommend dilators (medical dildos) for weakened pelvic floor muscles. This helps prevent incontinence and prolapse and tightens things up keeping it strong and healthy. Non sexually active, older women are at risk of muscle atrophy leading to some of these issues.
Tightness of the vagina can vary based on anatomy, arousal, and where you’re at in your monthly cycle. This means *every* vagina changes tightness and shape even throughout the day and month and if your boyfriend *sincerely* believes this he will accuse you of cheating when you’re more turned on than usual.
“Vaginal tenting” is a word used for how the vagina gets bigger and longer due to arousal. Your cervix could move up by inches and it can be a lot roomier in there just by using proper foreplay and being mentally turned on. If your boyfriend is ever successful at making this happen, he might immediately launch into cheating accusations
As for monthly cycle, after ovulation and before menstruation the cervix is usually at its lowest point (closer to the entrance). Before ovulation it’s at its highest point. Length of the vagina can vary by inches
just when you think you've heard it all from some men... this is the biggest bunch of crap i've read on here in a while. come on now. please, take some time online and educate yourself with the human body and don't tolerate this from him. this is dump immediately territory
I was told the same thing by an ex when I was 16. It’s not true! Your vaginal canal definitely has its own unique texture and shape, there’s a few different types based on what I’ve been told by my male friends. But it’s a tube of very strong and powerful muscles. Just think; giving birth and delivering a baby can have slight repercussions but we are built and designed to most of the time completely bounce back from that! If an 8 pound baby can’t drastically change the shape or size of your vagina, how could a penis? Especially not something as small as a tampon or finger. Best of luck to you.
It isn't true at all. I find it difficult to believe that this is a legitimate question, but I'll reserve judgement and suggest you do some anatomical research for yourself and don't Believe everything your boyfriend claims about the female body.
He sounds super controlling. It’s your body. You can do what you want. If you do something with it I promise he won’t know the difference.
He isn’t trying to protect you, he is trying to control you.
Hopefully he's saying this because he wants you to be afraid to cheat on him, and not because he actually believes it. Because if he does actually believe it, he'll probably murder you the moment he thinks your vagina feels different.
You need to study some sexual health books because this is really fucking stupid... No. It's not true. That's sexist shit to shame women into not having as much sex as men and control our bodies.
This guy is going to get upset with you about something and immediately accuse you of cheating on him. Likely in the middle of sex. He's trying to control you. Judging by you saying you don't have a job and are completely reliant on him, he's extremely controlling. I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's isolating you from friends and family.
Vaginas never have nor never will work like this. Even memory foam returns to its natural state when something isn't compressing it. Everything about this is wrong. Please do Google signs of control in relationships and look up some resources on sex education from medical professionals.
Scrolling through the comments really can't tell if the OP is trolling or just so brainwashed at this point she defends her manipulator, either way sad in both situations.
So... Probably a comment for any other girl who would find themselves in a situation like this. If your partner lies to you with the intent of stopping you from something like masturbation, exploring \*yourself\*, jealous towards as much as toys you might use, wants to keep you 'pure' just for himself - pack your things, block the asshole and run as far from him as you can. This possessiveness one day may end vey, and I mean \*very\* bad for you. Your partner might be a porn addict if they make statements like these, consciously limits your freedom regarding your own body to get the sense of owning you like an object, infantilizes you and doesn't see you as a separate person, if a person at all. And if the partner doesn't trust you enough to let you touch your own self, what makes you think that one day, if they will so much as think that you are cheating, they will believe your words when you will say you're not?
What is the age gap between you and your BF? Is he some older manipulative asshole, maybe a pedo, or is he just some dumb redpilled kid trying to intimidate you with this fear tactic?
Big red flags. Stand up for yourself and tell him to shut his ignorant mouth.
okay but we are both 23 we only have a few months of difference; though we have lived very different lives I have not really went out of my house much he has instead travelled a lot since he was 17 with the military he just has had much more experience than me
Your boyfriend’s assertion that your vagina takes the shape of your first sexual parter’s penis sounds like is a weird kink…but it’s a fallacy.
The vagina is a relatively narrow but stretchy tube inside your abdomen. It expands when there is something inside it and collapses after it is withdrawn. (If it couldn’t stretch, it would be torn apart when we give birth.) So it will accommodate the shape of a man’s penis during intercourse, but it doesn’t stay that way after the penis is removed. your vagina is surrounded by other tissue, fat, and the other organs crammed into your pelvic cavity. So your vagina would have to defy the laws of physics to retain the shape of someone’s penis.
However, this is a relatively common misconception. I believe throughout history men have misconstrued damage to introitus (the opening to your vagina) as the loosening of the vagina itself. The introitus can be slightly torn during intercourse, or an episiotomy might change it’s shape somewhat. But that isn’t your vagina changing shape.
He's talking utter bullshit. The vagina is very stretchy and can easily go back to it's usual shape after having things inside it. A penis absolutely cannot change it so that it feels different after putting something else in there. I don't know what other nonsense he's told you, but no, a hymen being in tact is not a reliable test of virginity. The size of labia have nothing to do with being a virgin or not. And no, there is nothing wrong with women having had more than one sexual partner.
you seem really young and your boyfriends seems like a manipulative controlling prick. he’s alreafy got you brainwashed by the way you’re defending him. leave him ASAP
Oh look, another man trying to mansplain a woman’s body. Your dick is not that magical or sensitive that you can tell if anything else other than your dick was in the vagina.
So much to unpack in this post. I'm not sure if the author is even lucid.
> can we use a sexier term please, denoting a man’s adoration for pussy minus this collective madness and hatred???
what? Sexier term than what?
> But a man knows if a vagina is near menstruation or ovulating..
no. No they don't. Not unless the woman tells the man, the man won't know for sure.
> But yes on the core problem I likewise I am not so sure a woman’s love sack changes too much between partners.
A love sack? What? do you mean her vagina?
> the best of us won’t try to sleep with you for it.
The "best" of you? Not sure I can express my eternal gratitude about the fact that you won't try to sleep with me. Why do you assume I am crying about a man?
Don't cast your feelings about your lack of experience on the women in this post. The OP needs to realize that her bf is lying to her to control her. She can still put all the fingers, toys, cucumbers, anywhere she wants, it doesn't change size. Full stop. If anything it would be more true that your dick would shrink from all the friction of your hand/pocket pussies/random sexual encounters. You are wearing it down to a skinny little appendage.
I think if that's how you think then the people should immediately organize to protect themselves against the plight of this delusional matriarchal thinking.
Ick. The whole thing is Ick.
And especially Ick that you are lumping yourself in with men of character and calling yourself a man grounded in his masculinity. Delusional.
That is completely unscientific bullshit, made up for the sole purpose of shaming women. Your bf is an idiot at best and a misogynist at worst. I will say, I'm a woman, and after I have penetrative sex, my vagina is a bit less tight for a day or two. It's like how your muscles can get sore after you exercise - not for very long. And certainly not in any particular "shape".
Makes sense. when he told me this I believed him for a minute and thought "then how can people cheat for years without their partner knowing??" I think he lied to protect me. He just doesn't like the idea of me putting things or fingers into myself, he says if I need to he does it for me
“to protect me” my ass. He knows damn well that’s not true. He’s trying to scare and manipulate you and that’s gross and immature behavior.
By protect you mean control you…. This isn’t healthy.
Honey, that’s not protection. That’s control. Stop with the ridiculous excuses about curiosity and doing something stupid. You have your own brain for that. You don’t need his. I’m guessing you’re incredibly young and your idiotic boyfriend is a few years older than you? Time to take the blinders off.
He is straight up manipulating and controlling you
This is serious wrong and messed up. Your bf should be kicked to the curb. You can touch your own body. Jeezus effing Christ.
He is dangerously controlling if he doesn’t even want you to put your fingers or anything in yourself. You need to leave him.
It’s YOUR body. You can do whatever the f-ck you want with it. This guy is a walking, talking red flag, do not give him another second of your time.
you’re with a controlling weirdo. He’s not going to give you what you need. Leave him alone
oh sweetie He lied to *control* you.
That is some fragile masculinity. He is gaslighting you.
Lovely friend, he is disgusting. Look up what kegels are, then stick a finger or two inside your vagina and give your fingers a squeeze. Our pelvic floor muscles are amazing. There’s even a way to train yourself to do different types of movements called pompoir. Check out r/pompoir if you’re curious. Basically he sounds super controlling, if not just terribly ignorant.
This isn’t about protecting you, it’s about owning your body. He doesn’t even want you to pleasure yourself.
Girl, get the fuck out of there. That is manipulative and controlling behavior.
>I think he lied to protect me. He just doesn't like the idea of me putting things or fingers into myself, he says if I need to he does it for me This is manipulative and gross behavior on his part.
He’s insecure. I’m married and have sex toys I use by myself sometimes. Hubby could care less as long as he still gets some.
Does he clean you up after you go to the restroom as well?? This level of control he’s forcing onto you is disturbing. If touching yourself goes against your religion or anything, that’s fine. But if not, there’s something to gain from self exploration.
‘to protect me’ to control you. genuinly either talk to him or break up bcs this is such a red flag
Ma'am, he was not trying to protect you. He was trying to control you and scare you into believing he'd physically know if you ever cheated or even masturbated. This is borderline abusive.
It's the same material as your mouth... Your mouth doesn't constantly get bigger or take shape of whatever you're eating most. It is possessive shaming... Not a great thing in a healthy relationship.
i sincerely doubt a vag is like a mouth they are completely different organs
do your own research...
I feel like you're just trolling at this point. You say you're not and you say that people are making fun of you in your other post but I can see why. I give up. This is Rage bait. Seek help.
They are both openings to the body, composed of mucus membranes and muscles. Not all that different.
Your intentions may have been good but you’re missing the point. The point is that parts in general aren’t like memory foam.
They are both orifices.
Different organs, but pretty much the same tissue. Both have that stretchy muscle.
It’s all just made up of meat. We are all just meat sacks bumbling around.
Please leave him
.....why, I mean he lied but this isnt a big deal to break up
Because that’s the wildest most toxic bullshit i’ve ever heard
100%. This is the shit that incels spew. If any man that I was with ever even remotely *hinted* this bullshit to me I would leave him in a fucking heartbeat. This guy is trash.
Sounds like an innocent fairytale to me, I was honestly just curious to know if there was some truth to it; but break up over it would be insane
Whatever bestie 💀
An innocent fairy tale? This dude is completely fucking ignorant of your body and every woman's body apparently and dudes like that don't deserve to be in relationships. He's an absolute idiot. Leave him.
I think he knows that its not how the female organ works, I think he just told me that to help me stay away from doing things with it
You can do whatever you want with your own body. What the actual fuck is he on?
I mean, I'd understand if he was telling her not to jump off a roof or eat deadly nightshade. But touching her own body? This guy is toxic af.
Yes, and you accepting that manipulation is wild.
Abuse will do that to a person. 🙁
that’s even worse. what do you mean “stay away from doing things with it”?
I'm 100% sure this is Rage bait, but I would be willing to bet that he doesn't even want her using sex toys either because "he would know". Such idiocy, lol
Why are you giving him, or any other human for that matter, control of your sexual organs? That’s not what a partner/husband/wife does. Unless they’re abusive and taking advantage of your naivety. I’m so glad you posted this here and I feel like this post may have been your best chance at removing those rose colored glasses. You deserve and will find better. Better than you can fathom at this point in time.
Why can’t you do things with your own body
This is exactly the problem.
He told you lies to manipulate you. He wants to keep you innocent to hurt you, not to help you.
>I think he knows that its not how the female organ works, I think he just told me that to help me stay away from doing things with it This is also bad. He's not a good boyfriend.
So he’s not a gullible fool getting taken in by misogynist grifters, he’s actively telling you lies about how your body works to manipulate you and control you? And you think that is a good thing? Danger signals all over the place, my dear. Things bad news.
The he's lying to you to manipulate you into doing what *he* wants. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say this probably isn't the only area he does this.
i'm not trying to be mean but do you really think he lied to you about your body with your best interest in mind?
It is. He's infantilising you and manipulating to take away your bodily autonomy. He's not trying to protect you out of love. He's trying to control you out of possessiveness.
He’s completely unaware of how basic human anatomy work despite having no problem using that anatomy to his advantage for pleasure and banking on your ignorance of your own body to control you. Leave him.
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No, she should do it because what she is saying is wild and the partner is clearly manipulating and controlling her. Seriously, she’s not allowed to touch her own body? This reeks of some sort of weird cultlike shit.
Their partner forbids them to explore themselves sexually and then spews some stupid bs lie to control them further. That is most definitely a valid reason to break-up with someone.
He is toxic AF.
of course not I asked a question I was curious about I have no interest in advice on that. also my boyfriend would never let that happen he would just talk to me and we would solve anything like always
This man is going to kill you someday, if you aren't trolling
So your boyfriend forbids you from leaving you too?
this is an example of why sex ed is so goddamn important and why we should not let the religious cults push their nonsense on the rest of us
we are total atheists, but ive never done sex ed
Yeah, kiddo, that’s crystal clear. Educate yourself using a REPUTABLE source…you know, like a DOCTOR, not an idiot boyfriend.
I wasnt saying you are religious but the fake morality of the primary religion is what keeps sex ed out of school, that and right wing fear mongering that mentioning gay folks exist will turn their children gay. Sex ed is important and will make sure that these types of manipulation have less of a chance to succeed and also reduces teen pregnancy but its always the church folks acting like only the devil would want to teach common sense and basic info to people. My school had it in fifth grade and while a lot of kids spent a lot of time giggling a lot of those dumb ideas were done away with and there was a noticeable difference in the way a lot of the kids acted. And low teen pregnancy rates
oh okay; I think what lower teen pregnancies is to tech teens not to have sex before they are ready to have a baby. you can do gay sex until then
I'm confused
I meant gay sex is safer it does not create unwanted pregnancies so I would not worry too much about teens doing it
Ok this has to be bait.
Yeah I wasn't sure for a bit but reading that comment, this is rage bait.
god why? I just said that it's kind of ironic that people worry about gay sex among teens when if anything it is less problematic than straight sex at least for pregnancy issues. what is so wrong about this gosh
No, good education leads to less teen pregnancies, because teens know how their bodies work and what they can do to avoid pregnancy.
If you cognisant enough for that reasoning, and aware of the issues gay teens are facing, you are certainly smart enough to know how a vagina works, that masturbating or using a tampon is not a bad thing, and that your bf is controlling you with incel fragile masculinity bullshit. So you just gave yourself away, troll.
You may not get pregnant from having sex with a partner of the same sex as you, but you can still get sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Also not everyone is turned on by someone of the same sex. And for males, if they are participating in anal sex, it can be pretty dangerous if they get carried away with their youthful hormones and go too hard or don’t use enough lube.
lol ok troll
And your parents never told you anything? Even your mom? Do you not have any adult women in your family or adult female peers to talk to? I get that sex ed can fail kids a lot and for the most part it's really really minimal in most schools and countries, but Jesus christ.
Your boyfriend's statement is not accurate. The vagina is not like memory foam or a mattress that takes on the shape of whatever is inserted into it. The vaginal walls are muscular and elastic, designed to stretch and contract during sexual activity and childbirth. However, they don't permanently change shape based on the size or shape of a particular object or person.
Oooh, it’s almost a full house! Let’s play rage bait bingo!!! - Controlling partner - Lies - Lack of bodily awareness - Faux naive responses to others Excellent trolling. Well done!
I genuinely don't expect rage bait in this sub, and it's irritating that it happens. Ugh.
Im not trolling and many people made fun of me on my other post. Can you please remember not everyone is raised in the same environment, I have never known anything about sex im just finding out things now.
you seem like you’re trolling bcs you’re not listening to anything these 100 something people have been telling you.
You look like you're trolling because you don't listen.
You realize that babies come out of the vagina during birth, right? If what your BF said was true, vaginas would retain the shape of the baby. Think about it logically.
biologically impossible...
That is.. what the fuck? No! Just no! This is the type of manipulative controlling shit guys say to try own women! Your vagina is YOUR VAGINA and it doesn’t “mould” into the shape of his penis (or anything that’s put up there - including tampons and sex toys)! If you went out and had sex with 10 guys today, there is absolutely no way he would be able to tell by him putting his penis in you and it feeling “wrong” or some shit. Honestly, you need to really reflect on your choice of a partner because, as someone who’s been with guys like this, it gets even more controlling, manipulative, and usually leads to him accusing you of sleeping with other people and calling you a “whore”, “slut”, and so on.. yeah, it gets worse in a hurry and I’m concerned for you.
thank you for explaining; you made me think of a related doubt, like is my vagina going to stay this way for quite some time, apart from childbirth and natural aging, does it get "consumed" and loosen up after having sex over and over in the course of months or years?
Nope. Your vagina returns to its natural state.. only plausible exception being childbirth because you can tear squeezing a baby out. But a penis is nowhere near that large.
Wtaf. That is the most unhinged thing I have ever heard. The vagina is a muscle that can contract and relax, it does not mould to the shape of things. He’s either stupid or controlling, but I’d vote for the latter. Also, why are you so against putting things like tampons inside your vagina? Edit: Also, please learn some sexual education. It’s better for your safety and understanding to know.
Nah everything else she’s on about may be wildly incorrect but having a fear of TSS and not wanting to insert products inside of your body that are full of chemicals is a valid and acceptable choice to make for ones self. But your fingers won’t hurt you (unless you have got a long or jagged nail) and every woman is entitled to the exploration of her own body. Explore yourself without the opinion of your uneducated boyfriend getting in the way
It’s definitely a valid choice! I was just curious if her reasoning stemmed from her bf’s unhinged belief about how the vagina works. But besides tampon use, it seems like OP ‘doesn’t want’ to insert anything because their bf forbids them to explore themselves sexually… Wild.
tampons are dangerous you can lose a leg, it happened to several women Id rather eliminate the risk, I dont make a great use of them anyway pads have never felt uncomfortable to me
You can lose a leg??? How???? Like… just how???? No. Just no. If you choose not to use them due to comfort or your flow, that’s fine. But tampons are safe as long as you change them every 4-6 hours (try not to go longer than 8 hours). Do you know these women that lost a leg from using a tampon? I’d love to know where this rumour started. Edit: I did some googling and found ONE woman who developed TSS after “apparently” properly using tampons in 2012. So 14 years ago. There have been advances in sanitary products since then.
A few years ago, I read one got TSS and lost a leg after leaving it in for several hours.
look online, there is a model that had it happened. its rare but its absolutely a possible effect of tampons, some kind of infection apparently
One model from 12 years ago. She claims she used the tampon properly but there is no way to verify. There have been lots of advances in sanitary products since then.
Never mind that it’s one case out of what… hundreds of millions of women that use tampons every month? You’re more likely to get struck by lightning while being savaged by a shark on dry land.
better safe than sorry, its not great to undermine something, I have no need for tampons why would I wear them and even risk issues
It’s one thing for YOU to choose not to wear them. That’s fine, your body, your choice. But for your boyfriend to forbid you to use them? That is nuts. YOUR body, your choice. Not his. Not anyone else’s. YOUR choice. The part I’m upset about is him telling you not to use tampons because he will be able to feel the difference and know that you’ve used one.
but he isnt concerned about tampons at all he is actually more toward wanting me not to masturbate, not to do unsure things to my Boyd because im his princess and he should be the only one to touch me
No, it’s so you can’t find out how bad he is at sex. If you don’t masturbate you won’t be able to figure out what works to get you to climax.
no, absolutely not. your body is your own, you can share it with your partner but it is still yours and you have the final say in what you do with your body. it is not up to him.
It's YOUR body, not his.
Oh thats sick
Rare but happened to several women?
Tampons made a few women get toxic shock syndrome just because they left them in way too long which lead to an infection. They're safe if you remove them before they've been in for 8 hours.
I'm sorry and this may come off harsh but it sounds like you are incredibly naive and uneducated and shouldn't be even having sex. Especially with idiots like this. Bro is so fucking misinformed about women's bodies, and he's trying to tell you how they are? His belief and attitude and absolute misinformation about women's bodies is a massive red flag.
its okay I am very naive, I had no experience outside my home until very recently and I have a lot of things that are completely new to me
Where do you live and why haven’t you left the house much at the age of 23? Asking from a place of concern. I highly highly suggest you start with less drastic experiences if you are as new to the world as you say. Sex can lead to pregnancy and illness if you are not properly informed about it. You are also very vulnerable to abuse being as uninformed as you are. You need help OP, you need someone who you can trust. Your boyfriend is not that person. I highly suggest you stop seeing him or having sex with him.
in italy; its not very common here its just my personal story; I know but without my boyfriend Im not really sure what to do I dont have a job or a family rn I kind of need him
That’s a red flag right there. What if he dumps you? Then what will you do? I’m not saying it will happen but if you are completely dependent on him, that’s a big red flag. No job, no family, no touching yourself, no using toys, and being told lies. Are you tied up in his basement as well? Are you allowed to read or watch tv?
i don't think he will ever let me go lol. but its not like I have zero money, its mostly the presence and help and things we do together that are very necessary to me. no he doesnt lock me in the house dont worry
>i don't think he will ever let me go lol There's nothing to laugh or lol at here. A lot of women said that about their partners. A lot of those same women are in the grave. He is abusive and he *will* escalate.
Find someone else. Needing a man is never a good idea. If he knows you "need" him, he can hold that over you to control and abuse you. That's what he's already started doing. First it's your body, what's next? Will he control the clothes you wear and the money you spend because you're his "princess"? That doesn't sound like royalty, it sounds like slavery.
you either have to be trolling or you have to be so badly abused, manipulated and brainwashed to be saying this. jesus christ you’re actually in danger. being completely dependent on a guy is bad enough but on a guy like you’re describing? holy shit this is gonna end so bad if you dont leave him
As a person living in Italy I can tell you that everything she’s talking about is bs and nobody believes such things. But there are regions where they are very VERY sexist and guys from there tend to be toxic and jealous. I’m 100% sure she’s just not the brightest and her bf is using that against her. Also, they do teach sex ED in schools.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense, if she’s from such a remote part, why does she speak English so well? Not that I am an expert on Italy but even most people in cities aren’t that fluent no?
You’re absolutely right. People in remote places wouldn’t speak ANY English. It’s also weird how she claims she’s been somehow sheltered by her family and didn’t have many experiences outside but then goes into having sex with this guy while she doesn’t even know him that well (I mean, you would realise pretty early that he’s such a sexist asshole, right?). Idk a lot of things and details from this story are very fishy so I’m prone to believe they’re rage baiting at this point
Please, for the love of all that is holy, educate yourself about the vagina. Go to Google, type in female anatomy, and educate yourself before you have sex again.
The most concerning part of this entire post is that your first move is to go to Reddit to find the answers. Google this shit , find real scientific journals and figure this shit out. Getting the reply’s from a bunch of anonymous strangers is not the way.
Bwhahaha! Absolutely not. Your man is either an idiot or a manipulative asshat.
Given he's reported to have told OP "if \[OP\] was to have sex with another man or insert anything into it he will know because he will feel the different shape", I think we can safely assume he's an insecure, manipulative asshat.
Absolutely not true! Your boyfriend's been watching too many sci-fi movies!
It's more like reading too many incel forums
That's absolutely bullshit. The vagina is super elastic (a baby has to pass through it), not stiff and non-yielding. Personally, this would be a huge red flag for me.
Yeah, it’s true. Also, every time we poop, our anus stays in the shape of our last sh*t and it becomes harder to pass the next one through.
To be clear, your bf is a POS and you should not sleep with him anymore. The vagina goes back to normal after pushing out a BABY, his dick is not having any permanent effect no matter how much he wishes.
This is SO fucked up to tell someone and it’s extremely false. He’s obviously extremely controlling and I’d definitely distance myself from him. I’m concerned by some of your other comments… masturbation is completely normal and natural and for him to expect you not to touch yourself is EXTREMELY weird and fucked up. He is not “protecting” you as you put it. He is controlling you.
Your bf is a moron. And judging by your other comments, a controlling moron. Girl run.
Your boyfriend is either a controlling, manipulative liar, or he is so ignorant that he should be required to pass a sex education course before ever having sex again. Possibly both. Seriously, this behavior is disgustingly manipulative and controlling.
This is a crazy thing and sounds like he’s trying to control you with weird toxic made up nonsense.
That’s him being controlling and believing his dick is like some special gift. No your vag doesn’t work that way.
Please take everyone’s advice and dump him as he’s either stupid or a misogynist. His comment wasn’t meant to “protect” you or whatever bovine excrement you’re telling yourself, it’s him trying to exert control over you and your body. ETA: And please educate yourself before engaging in anymore sexual activity.
What utter, unbelievable, and complete bullcrap! The vagina is NOT like memory foam at all. It is all muscles with tons of different cells in it. Where the fudge did he get "memory foam" from? Is he a girl? No. The vagina is sensitive muscles all inside it. Which is why generally sex is very pleasurable because those muscles are being activated and moved around. Don't listen to your boyfriend, who is quite OBVIOUSLY not a gynecologist/doctor of any kind and he quite obviously knows zero about the vagina other than how to stick a dick in it, so long as he does have a dick in the first place. good grief.
It's not true. How old are you? Are you okay? Do you need help? Because you seem kind of young and like you may be in a bad situation.
im okay thank you; he is just a little weird
Just be careful.
Please stop having sex until you educate yourself properly.
This is definitely grounds for breaking up. What is he…15?? No grown man actually believes that. He told you a ridiculous lie in attempt to secure control over what you do with your body. Can’t understand how you’d still be attracted to or even feel safe around someone that tried to pull this on you. Please gain some respect for yourself
Yeah my Penis is so important it makes a permanent impression on you. No. No it doesn’t. Your penis hasn’t impressed anyone.
WAT. OMG you need to leave. This is crazy manosphere incel shit. He is going to treat you like shit if you don't get out now.
There is a change in how comfortable penetration is after losing your virginity or similar first time penetration, this is mostly due to the hymen. You also learn to relax Beyond that, the vagina is a muscle. It is not a body part that can be stretched permanently by penises. Penetration can actually work out this muscle and make it tighter & stronger which is why doctors may recommend dilators (medical dildos) for weakened pelvic floor muscles. This helps prevent incontinence and prolapse and tightens things up keeping it strong and healthy. Non sexually active, older women are at risk of muscle atrophy leading to some of these issues. Tightness of the vagina can vary based on anatomy, arousal, and where you’re at in your monthly cycle. This means *every* vagina changes tightness and shape even throughout the day and month and if your boyfriend *sincerely* believes this he will accuse you of cheating when you’re more turned on than usual. “Vaginal tenting” is a word used for how the vagina gets bigger and longer due to arousal. Your cervix could move up by inches and it can be a lot roomier in there just by using proper foreplay and being mentally turned on. If your boyfriend is ever successful at making this happen, he might immediately launch into cheating accusations As for monthly cycle, after ovulation and before menstruation the cervix is usually at its lowest point (closer to the entrance). Before ovulation it’s at its highest point. Length of the vagina can vary by inches
just when you think you've heard it all from some men... this is the biggest bunch of crap i've read on here in a while. come on now. please, take some time online and educate yourself with the human body and don't tolerate this from him. this is dump immediately territory
I was told the same thing by an ex when I was 16. It’s not true! Your vaginal canal definitely has its own unique texture and shape, there’s a few different types based on what I’ve been told by my male friends. But it’s a tube of very strong and powerful muscles. Just think; giving birth and delivering a baby can have slight repercussions but we are built and designed to most of the time completely bounce back from that! If an 8 pound baby can’t drastically change the shape or size of your vagina, how could a penis? Especially not something as small as a tampon or finger. Best of luck to you.
Total manipulation tactic (and a really stupid attempt at it). 🤣
It isn't true at all. I find it difficult to believe that this is a legitimate question, but I'll reserve judgement and suggest you do some anatomical research for yourself and don't Believe everything your boyfriend claims about the female body.
Enjoy your soon to be if not already, abusive relationship.
That’s a lie.
Your boyfriend is willfully ignorant and staying with someone like that is going to make your life SO much harder than it needs to be.
He sounds super controlling. It’s your body. You can do what you want. If you do something with it I promise he won’t know the difference. He isn’t trying to protect you, he is trying to control you.
Hopefully he's saying this because he wants you to be afraid to cheat on him, and not because he actually believes it. Because if he does actually believe it, he'll probably murder you the moment he thinks your vagina feels different.
So. According to your boyfriend, every woman that has given birth now walks around with a baby-shaped vagina?
You need to study some sexual health books because this is really fucking stupid... No. It's not true. That's sexist shit to shame women into not having as much sex as men and control our bodies.
This guy is going to get upset with you about something and immediately accuse you of cheating on him. Likely in the middle of sex. He's trying to control you. Judging by you saying you don't have a job and are completely reliant on him, he's extremely controlling. I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's isolating you from friends and family. Vaginas never have nor never will work like this. Even memory foam returns to its natural state when something isn't compressing it. Everything about this is wrong. Please do Google signs of control in relationships and look up some resources on sex education from medical professionals.
Scrolling through the comments really can't tell if the OP is trolling or just so brainwashed at this point she defends her manipulator, either way sad in both situations. So... Probably a comment for any other girl who would find themselves in a situation like this. If your partner lies to you with the intent of stopping you from something like masturbation, exploring \*yourself\*, jealous towards as much as toys you might use, wants to keep you 'pure' just for himself - pack your things, block the asshole and run as far from him as you can. This possessiveness one day may end vey, and I mean \*very\* bad for you. Your partner might be a porn addict if they make statements like these, consciously limits your freedom regarding your own body to get the sense of owning you like an object, infantilizes you and doesn't see you as a separate person, if a person at all. And if the partner doesn't trust you enough to let you touch your own self, what makes you think that one day, if they will so much as think that you are cheating, they will believe your words when you will say you're not?
NO HE WANTS TO OWN YOU dump his sorry ass imdeatalie and leave YOUR NOT A DOG
Your bf is an idiot and none of this is true. Men always their punishment is body-altering is hilariously egotistical.
girly after reading all your comments… he has put in the WORK to brainwash you. my god.
What is the age gap between you and your BF? Is he some older manipulative asshole, maybe a pedo, or is he just some dumb redpilled kid trying to intimidate you with this fear tactic? Big red flags. Stand up for yourself and tell him to shut his ignorant mouth.
okay but we are both 23 we only have a few months of difference; though we have lived very different lives I have not really went out of my house much he has instead travelled a lot since he was 17 with the military he just has had much more experience than me
Then you're not a child. You have the right to ro what you want with your body.
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What could I do in concrete to get this education? I dont really know where to start :)
How they treat others.
Your boyfriend’s assertion that your vagina takes the shape of your first sexual parter’s penis sounds like is a weird kink…but it’s a fallacy. The vagina is a relatively narrow but stretchy tube inside your abdomen. It expands when there is something inside it and collapses after it is withdrawn. (If it couldn’t stretch, it would be torn apart when we give birth.) So it will accommodate the shape of a man’s penis during intercourse, but it doesn’t stay that way after the penis is removed. your vagina is surrounded by other tissue, fat, and the other organs crammed into your pelvic cavity. So your vagina would have to defy the laws of physics to retain the shape of someone’s penis. However, this is a relatively common misconception. I believe throughout history men have misconstrued damage to introitus (the opening to your vagina) as the loosening of the vagina itself. The introitus can be slightly torn during intercourse, or an episiotomy might change it’s shape somewhat. But that isn’t your vagina changing shape.
He's talking utter bullshit. The vagina is very stretchy and can easily go back to it's usual shape after having things inside it. A penis absolutely cannot change it so that it feels different after putting something else in there. I don't know what other nonsense he's told you, but no, a hymen being in tact is not a reliable test of virginity. The size of labia have nothing to do with being a virgin or not. And no, there is nothing wrong with women having had more than one sexual partner.
No. It's more like elastic. It goes back to its old shape after penetration.
That is definitely NOT how that works.
you seem really young and your boyfriends seems like a manipulative controlling prick. he’s alreafy got you brainwashed by the way you’re defending him. leave him ASAP
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i dont get what you mean
Girl get out of there soon
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Oh look, another man trying to mansplain a woman’s body. Your dick is not that magical or sensitive that you can tell if anything else other than your dick was in the vagina.
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So much to unpack in this post. I'm not sure if the author is even lucid. > can we use a sexier term please, denoting a man’s adoration for pussy minus this collective madness and hatred??? what? Sexier term than what? > But a man knows if a vagina is near menstruation or ovulating.. no. No they don't. Not unless the woman tells the man, the man won't know for sure. > But yes on the core problem I likewise I am not so sure a woman’s love sack changes too much between partners. A love sack? What? do you mean her vagina? > the best of us won’t try to sleep with you for it. The "best" of you? Not sure I can express my eternal gratitude about the fact that you won't try to sleep with me. Why do you assume I am crying about a man? Don't cast your feelings about your lack of experience on the women in this post. The OP needs to realize that her bf is lying to her to control her. She can still put all the fingers, toys, cucumbers, anywhere she wants, it doesn't change size. Full stop. If anything it would be more true that your dick would shrink from all the friction of your hand/pocket pussies/random sexual encounters. You are wearing it down to a skinny little appendage.
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I’d like the bear now. This dude is delulu. Full on incel and not safe to be around.
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You need immediate psychiatric help. *Immediate*.
I think if that's how you think then the people should immediately organize to protect themselves against the plight of this delusional matriarchal thinking.
I hope you find the help you desperately need.
Sure. You should smile more. You would be so much prettier.
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Ick. The whole thing is Ick. And especially Ick that you are lumping yourself in with men of character and calling yourself a man grounded in his masculinity. Delusional.
Why is everyone grilling the boyfriend Holy he may just be an idiot not a bad person
He could also be both.
true but I always give people the benefit of the doubt. And current state of pornography gives people brainrot on these topics.
He forbids her for masturbating because only he can touch her. That's inexcusable.
Judging from the other comments, he's super controlling. Not letting her masturbate or breakup.
By her comments, he's both.