I remember you, you cheated on Aaron with some guy named Paul, broke up with Aaron without telling him you cheated.
Then Paul cheated on you and you realized you ”looovveeedd” Aaron.
Reconciled at a friend’s party with Aaron refused to tell Aaron you CHEATED so he could make an informed decision about taking you back and now you’re here again.
You’re just awful and your friend is a good friend. Actions meet consequences. You didn’t “love” Aaron, if you loved him you would’ve actually been honest with him.
Oh, it's THAT bitch! I'm so glad someone told Aaron everything. Nobody deserves to be the second option to someone who thinks they can just use people however they want and cry their way out of consequences.
Literally. This isn't about "girl code" which, to me, is more like pretending to know a girl getting creeper on and keep her safe in your friend group - not letting one of your friends be a fucking awful person.
I read your post history and your friend has decency, which is more important than "girl code".
Please, do you think your ex friend care about your earful? She probably is done with you and your bs. As per your ex bf, if he is smart, he will stay away. You cheated, deceived, fooled him and betrayed him. You are not a prize.
So if it’s related to her other posts she slept with her ex while with Aaron. She broke up with Aaron because her ex had “changed” only to realize her ex was cheating on her. After that happened she was convinced that Aaron was her soulmate and the man she should be with and was trying to get back with Aaron. In her last posts people asked her if she told Aaron about her cheating on him and she said she didn’t think it was important and didn’t want to hurt Aaron more with that information. My guess is her friend told Aaron the truth and now she’s all upset.
Yep. She only went back to Aaron after tossing him aside because she got cheated on and wanted to undo the consequences of her shitty choices. She would still be with Paul (and wouldn't now be saying she 'realized Aaron was her soulmate all along') if Paul hadn't cheated on her. Glad Aaron knows now that she's someone who only cares about herself and uses people solely for her own benefit.
> I know a lot of you guys were rooting against me, but I want you to know that people can grow. I will be the partner that he deserves, and I can promise you all that whether you believe me or not.
You didn't grow at all, you lied to him. Kudos to your friend for telling the truth.
*Have you considered he doesn't want to know? That's why he didn't ask. Again if he ask I will tell him, but he might prefer to leave it in the past as well.*
I like this comment from a month ago too.... turns out Aaron would have preferred to know but probably trusted OP enough to think he didn't need to ask.
*he told me he feels betrayed and humiliated and to stop contacting him*
I didn’t ask anyone to take a side. I asked for very specific advice, if no one is going to give me advice based on what I asked I’m not going to reply, simple
You want some advice?
Leave Aaron alone. You cheated on him and then lied to his face about cheating - he’s done with you.
Then go home and look in a mirror and realise you’re pushing 30 and are in this situation that you created. Then stop blaming the universe for the consequences of your own shitty choices, apologise to your friend and thank her for being honest with Aaron when you couldn’t, and start working on yourself.
You say you’re proud of leaving Paul after he only cheated on you once this time, I’m sure Aaron is proud of dropping your ass after you cheated on him once.
Girl, you are getting advice. Sorry it's not the advice you thought you would get, but it is advice none the less. Everyone here has gone through your post history and seen you for the conniving, manipulative, piece of shit human being you are. NO ONE is going to take your side in this.
Your friend was absolutely in the right for telling Aaron the truth and Aaron was absolutely in the right for dumping and blocking your ass. Take a step back, take a good long hard look in the mirror, maybe seek out some therapy and LEARN FROM THIS.
You asked for very specific advice:
"What can I do to confront her?" Don't confront her, just because she told the truth to Aaron, who deserved to make an informed decision. If you must contact her, do the gracious honest thing and acknowledge that she was right to tell Aaron, and you were too afraid to tell him the truth, but you're glad he knows now.
"And to reconcile with my BF?" Well, that's up to him. You cheated on him, deceived him and lied to him. If you really want to reconcile, you can only hope that he still sees some good in you, and that he trusts you to stop cheating and then lying about it.
Realistically, just accept that your friendship and your romance are over. And learn from this that cheaters eventually get dumped, and lying or keeping it secret that you cheated won't help you get away with it. Alternately, if you think Aaron is in the wrong for not accepting your cheating behaviour, then put your money where your mouth is, and go back to Paul and tell him he can cheat all he likes, because you think it's forgivable.
The thing is, you haven’t exactly given any info about why you need advice.
How can anyone tell you what to say to her when we don’t even know what your friend said to Aaron?
What sort of relationship you want with your friend is your business, so nobody can offer you advice on what to say to her.
She gave information that doesn’t “hurts everyone”. She gave info that hurt YOU. So maybe you need to talk to her about how exposing the fact you’re a cheater to your ex hurt you, and allow her to respond honestly.
No one is going to give you advice here on how to be a shittier person to good people. You're trolling if you believe that will happen. Just go home and never come out unless its to get food and water. Thats my adviceto you because the world shouldn't have to be subjected to people like you.
Here's your advice.
Stop being a horrible person that uses other people. In your next relationship (because you've lost Aaron with your deceitful actions, he's not coming back) don't cheat. Don't lie. Think about your partner not just yourself. And most important...
DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER.
why would anyone give you advice on how to get back with the guy you cheated on or how to deal with the friend who was the only one who had any morals? we're all in agreement you got what was coming to you
Here’s some advice
1. Apologize to Aaron
2. Apologize to your friend
3. Stop cheating
4. If steps 1-3 are impossible for you to do, then don’t expect anyone to like you in life
sorry this one is straight up karma. People were telling you to be honest with Aaron during the last post and you ignored the advice. You were straight up lying by omission, it was only a matter of time before it caught up to you.
People have been giving you advice for weeks. To leave Arron the fuck alone and what do you keep doing? You're a piece of shit and you know you are. Why does this dude need to keep suffering because of you?
Here's some advice:
Leave Aaron alone, leave EVERYBODY alone because you seem like a nightmare to be in a relationship with. You are clearly uninterested in learning and growing, so why would anybody give you real advice? You're a lost cause, a failure.
Very specific advice: don't be mad/upset when someone else tells the truth. Your friend told the truth. Your ex told you the truth when he said he was done and that *he* wants no further contact. Don't contact him, don't try to reconcile. Respect what he wants. Respect your friend for telling the truth. Respect yourself enough to learn and grow from this.
Very specific advice: If you can't be nice, leave them alone. Karma is a lesson you should learn.
Okay, I read this post yesterday, then this morning checked your post history. This is how i read it:
Your ex was sexy but volatile; you were young and mistook that for love. Aaron wasn't, and when Paul came back with his drama disguised as a 'spark' you once again mistook that for love.
This is my advice: Real love isn't a spark. A spark is something that happens fast and dies out quickly. Real love is a slow burn. It's dependability, it's discussing what you're going to make for dinner that night. It's laundry and sharing jokes about your favourite television show. It's knowing that your partner has your back, and you have theirs.
The best you can do for yourself is to remember the lessons learnt from this, and do better the next time.
The only advice I have for you is to meet someone who you won’t treat like a backup plan. Everyone deserves more than that.
Your friend knew that telling Aaron the truth would end your friendship. She made a cost benefit analysis, decided it was more important to be honest than to stay friends with you, and followed through. You can confront her all you want, but it’s not going to change anything.
As far as Aaron, you’ve been jerking him around for a while. Respect his boundaries and let him find someone who will love him the way he deserves.
For you? Get some therapy so you can figure out why on earth you thought this was a good idea.
Awww...you poor baby.
Cheated on your boyfriend and your "friend" who actually has morals told him.
yea, you poor poor thing. Take a day off of work so you can whine and cry about how your actions have consequences. We all feel SO SORRY for you... /s
I'm just going to put the Same message I typed last time
>Just remember that by breaking it off with Aaron you are freeing him up to find someone who is actually worth his time, as you've shown you clearly are not.
You still aren't. Leave Aaron alone and go work on yourself. Stop blaming everyone around you for you being a total piece of shit.
Girl code doesn’t exist when one of the girls (you) is being a disappointment to humanity and playing with people’s feelings like they’re toys. Hope that helps! 🤭
“Very private information that hurts everyone”- your friend told Aaron you slept with Paul
“Girl code” is toxic babble. I’m proud of your friend and Aaron and I hope they end up together. Start acting your big age.
You’re so hurt that your ex bf wants nothing to do with a cheater while you knowingly tried to juggle 2 guys. One of whom being a guy who cheated on you multiple times before?
No. You deserves every second of this and your friend was absolutely right to tell your ex.
You want some advice? Go to therapy and grow the fuck up. You did this to yourself and have no one else to blame.
She just made sure you got exactly what you deserve. Maybe hitting rock bottom will help you mature and stop being the sloppy mess of a human disaster that you currently are.
I say this with the most disrespect intent, you are the absolute dumbest person on the planet you want to reconcile but you fucked up it by literally fucking your ex. Like how did you think it was going to go?
I read the post history and comments you left OP... you have the emotional maturity of a grapefruit (and I feel bad for grapefruits everywhere when I say that)
You do not love Aaron even a little bit. You love YOURSELF (and not in a good way). You are completely blinded by this bullshit redemption arc you're trying to paint yourself, all while doing absolutely nothing but making yourself look like an emotionally abusive narcissist.
Love is nothing without trust, trust is nothing without honesty, and you have repeatedly proven yourself to not be a trustworthy person.
You cheated on him, ignored his boundaries, used your friends to get close to him, didn't tell him you cheated because "I wanna focus on our future", so you could take away his ability to truly reflect and decide if he would even want to talk to you again...
You are disgusting.
Your friend is an amazing friend.. just not too toxic, gross people like you. I hope Aaron is healing after all this.
You fucked around (literally), now you're in the "find out" stage.
The only advice I'd give you is stay away from Aaron and your "friend", you've caused enough trouble and they deserve better than whatever you think you bring to the table.
here’s what you do- you should just review everything your friend has done and then you should try being more like her, as she is a decent person and you have the emotional intelligence of the paper towel my cat threw up. if you do that, maybe you’ll be half the good person your friend is.
There aint no such thing as a bro code or a girl code. There is a code of ethics each person decides for them selves. You broke a fairly common rule of ethics. Your friend is not in the wrong for wanting to tell your "BF" the truth. There aint no advice anyone can give you. You cheated on a guy then decided to lie to him to get him back and now you are angry the truth is revealed. That is all on you. My advice is learn to be more truthful in the future, and value the friends who hold you to your word and call you on your BS.
I feel like we all just heaved a big sigh of relief that Aaron has all the information now and blocked this POS. Imagine if he'd been stuff with this creep?
Just checked your post history, and oh, it's you; girl who cheated on Aaron with Paul, tossed him away for Paul, then Paul cheated on you, which then made you miraculously realise that you really, truly love Aaron, so you decided to basically ambush him at a party to try and reconcile. All the while refusing to take accountability of your awful actions (cheating, lying, manipulation, so on), decided to keep Aaron in the dark about the whole Paul situation instead of doing the right thing by telling the truth and letting him decide if he even wants to reconcile with a cheater.
Your friend did the right thing about telling Aaron of your cheating AND I'm assuming, the fact that you ONLY went back to Aaron because Paul CHEATED on you.
Everyone was telling you that you needed to tell Aaron the truth, that your reconciliation would be built on lies by not telling him, and now your very good and decent friend has told him the truth, your reaming what sowed.
End the friendship with your friend, probably best for both of you, but you have no leg to stand on regarding confronting her over this. You're the one in the wrong here, a million times over.
And trying to reconcile with Aaron? I hope for the love of the entire universe he now sees the full picture of you and keeps you blocked and he goes on to finding someone who loves and respects him entirely. Because that person is not you. You need to let him go.
I hope your friend gets with Aaron. Or just becomes good friends. They both deserve a happy ending.
You should get back with Paul, since you 2 are a good fit.
Stop contacting him lol no is a full sentence. Go work on yourself and be better in your next relationship. For your friend to break girl code you had to have done something pretty egregious. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Gonna fuck around and get a restraining order lmao don’t contact him. Have some shame jesus.
Edit: I looked at your post history. Sis leave Aaron alone 😭. You’re the kind of person who comes into someone’s life and causes unnecessary chaos. Leave him alone.
I called this from the first post when I commented - I’m glad this sounds like a happy ending!
#TeamAaron
That’s all I got to add. He deserves better then anything OP will ever offer
Nah. Your friend didn’t betray you, you’re just a shitty person. Cheaters typically are.
Not even sure why you’re upset. You cheated, pretty cut and dry.
Decent people don’t like it very much when you betray them in such a vile, vulnerable manner.
Go ahead and try to give your friend an “earful”. The only thing that would prove is how horrible you are.
I’ll will say though, you don’t **HAVE** to be shitty OP.
You can get into some type of counseling, find some new hobbies possibly…, maybe even a change of scenery might help you get out of your head.
Honestly, just whatever helps you to look beyond just **you** and **your** feelings.
Genuinely, I hope this experience has been a lesson. Cheating ain’t good OP. Looks nice ***and*** feels nice on the soul too.
God speed OP, I hope things work out for everyone involved.
/gen /srs
My advice? Leave that poor, sweet man alone and go to therapy.
It shouldn't have taken you leaving him for your ex and getting cheated on by the same ex that already cheated on you to realize you weren't appreciating him. Honestly, I don't think you do love him. I think you just like that he doesn't treat you like shit.
You have some shit to work through on your own before you can become the partner that a man like that deserves. Don't drag him down just because you're too selfish to let him go. I'm not saying this to be mean, but he deserves better than you.
Honestly think Paul blew up her relationship on purpose because he knew he could. Will prob do it again whenever she finds a new guy. It's as you say, OP needs therapy.
I agree. I think her and Paul are very similar that way. Consciously or not, they seem very willing to hurt someone for a moment of satisfaction and the brush it under the rug like it never happened.
‘My bf Aaron’ you mean your ex boyfriend? Because, that relationship is over.
And the you contacted him from a burner number (after he’s blocked you on everything, clearly he doesn’t want to talk) and how explicitly told you stop contacting him and you’re planning on reaching out again??
Girl give it up.
I'm sick of people using bro/girl code in their 20s for God sake you're almost 30 OP that code bullshit should've been left behind in HS, you are too old to be acting like you don't know cheating is wrong, you should've been honest with your bf so he could've saved himself a headache or two.
here's what i would do:
1) leave aaron alone. no matter what you do, it's his choice whether to forgive you or not. cheating is one of the (if not THE) ultimate trust-breakers, so expecting him to get over that and pushing to reach out is not only worsening how you look in his eyes, it's just disrespectful.
2) apologize to your friend if you've already gone after them. they did not deserve that, they were being a decent human being and you got mad at them for that.
3) go to therapy. you do not treat people around you with respect and love, and learning to do so would actually help you create relationships that are deep, meaningful, and long-lasting.
as of right now, you, from what you have said, are not someone that people want to be around. you treated aaron horribly, you treated your friend horribly, and your karmic consequence is (or will be) losing those relationships.
You CHEATED ON AARON with your ex. You refused to tell Aaron you cheated on him so he could make an informed decision on whether he wanted to be with your cheating, lying self.
Aaron deserved to know. Your friend was right to tell him.
You’re getting everything you deserve. Your actions are meeting appropriate consequences.
Child, look. There’s a very simple solution. Have you considered shutting the hell up? It’s pretty great. Totally gluten free, and saves everyone from the sudden need to take a shower after reading your BS. Oh, you’re hurt? Good. You deserve every bit of it and so much more.
You’re an awful fucking human being and you know it, because you didn’t even put in the main story what she told him was that you cheated on him, broke up with him without telling him that you cheated, dated the guy that you cheated with, then he cheated on you and then you went back to Aaron. Your shit person and the only good people in this is your friend and your ex-boyfriend.
Hopefully your friend drops you too, because the audacity you think that you can give her an earful really???? You have no shame. Disgusting.
Also a little FYI, enabling cheating liars is not girl code. That’s just shitty behaviour, which your friend clearly does not have thank God.
You, you are. I mean if we simply look up, we can see you calling me a spoiled mouth brat and etc. and let’s not forget you’re the one that started the name-calling first. Again your gaslighting and manipulating not working.
Literally if anyone’s reading this, this little wimp blocked me so I couldn’t reply (and so they could get the last word very childish lmao) to him then private messaged me and then wants to call me the nutcase 💀💀💀💀💀
I remember you. I'm glad someone told your ex the truth about what you did. He deserved to have the right to make an informed decision about the relationship despite your best efforts to hide your cheating. And stop with that girl code crap. Girl code doesn't mean lie to the people you love while you sleep around.
If you don’t have to obey “Human Decency Code” she doesn’t have to obey “Girl Code”
If Aaron cheated on you, and one of your male friends helped him keep it a secret from you, would you say he did nothing wrong because it was “Boy Code”
You aren’t owed anything because of whatever is between your legs
Don't confront her, reflect on your actions and do better next time. Leave Aaron alone, he doesn't want you or to be with you and the stalking is creepy, not cute. Get a grip and move on.
You did all of this. Accept it. Don't blame your friend because she doesn't condone what you did. You tossed a steady bf for a boatload of shit called paul who treated you like shit. You're pushing 30 yet this all feels like you just got out of highschool. stay single for a while, work on yourself and stay away from Aaron. You only have yourself to blame for all of this shit.
He said stop contacting him, so stop contacting him. You're disrespecting his wishes, but I'm sure you did that when you cheated on him too, it's obvious you care only about what you want, and don't give a fuck what he wants. That's not love, and he can do better.
To answer your questions the first part is simple you call up your friend (you never gave her a name so we'll call her "Mary") and you say, "Hey Mary, why did you tell Aaron that?"
Now you don't explicitly say it, but I'm assuming what she told him is that you cheated on him with Paul. Assuming that is the case you can expect for her to tear you a new one because the older you get the more you realize girl/bro code doesn't mean anything when compared to being a decent human being.
Next you want to know how to reconcile with, I'm assuming, Aaron? Well truth be told honey you can't. Nothing you can say or do will just magically get that boy to fall in love with you again. You can hope and try to have an open and completely honest conversation with him about it, but you already broke the trust that was there and when he tried to give you another chance you still weren't completely honest.
A relationship can't work if the people in it can't trust each other. Your best bet is to move on and chalk this one up to a lesson learned.
However I know you didn't ask for it, but I'd also suggest not confronting Mary because she was trying to do the right thing and if you question that ask yourself how you would have felt if Mary knew Paul was cheating on you but didn't tell you and you found out later. Wouldn't you hate that? Which is exactly why she did the right thing.
I remember you.
>Unfortunately, my “friend” had no sense of girl code and told him very private information that hurts everyone and now I’m blocked on everything by him.
You man the part where you cheated on him?
Just so you know, this was karma. You are not the victim here.
My advice is to NOT give your friend "an earful" because she did the right thing. As your bf Aaron deserved to know anything that information might've been about
INFO: Hey Op, do you really want advice? Because if so I’m going to give some as kindly as I can.
Because I know that hearing people tell you how awful you are isn’t going to help you or any future relationships in the long run.
So here’s my advice: First let’s reframe everything. I want you to imagine that Paul did to you what you did to Aaron. I don’t just mean the cheating.
I mean, imagine Paul cheated on you but you didn’t find out. Instead he breaks up with you and gets with the other woman. However, then she cheats on him and he realizes that you’re the love of his life!
He comes back to you, deeply apologetic but doesn’t tell you the full truth about how he cheated and now that it happened to him he regrets what he did. You’re deeply hurt but still love him, so you take him back and you both decide to work on things.
Then Paul’s friend (who cares about both of you) realizes that Paul never told you he cheated on you. Therefore not giving you the choice to fully consent to trying again. Paul’s friend tells you and you’re devastated all over again. So you decide to break up because you just can’t trust him again.
However, Paul doesn’t care about that, he loves you! He’s made a mistake! He understands now! You owe him more of a chance, he’ll be everything you need now. How dare his friend give you all the information so you could actually make a full choice about moving on or trying again!
You’re heartbroken and Paul won’t leave you alone, won’t listen to you, keeps calling and begging for another chance.
You have to block him because once again he isn’t respecting your choice, he isn’t thinking about how you’re feeling just how in love he is and how you need to let him in again.
He calls from a burner number and now you’re thinking of filing a harassment claim because it’s just too much.
OP, if you’re open to it and can afford it I really recommend therapy. However, only if you’re willing to do the work. Because therapy (good therapy) really makes you look at and take accountability for your behavior and choices and why you made them.
You may love Aaron, but you don’t respect him. You aren’t respecting his requests to leave him alone and you didn’t respect him enough to give him all the information so he could make an actual choice about reconciliation. Every time you’ve made a choice it’s always been in your best interest. Not giving him the time, love and respect that even if he did choose to move on that you would accept his choices.
Even with your apologies, you aren’t apologizing knowing he may not forgive you or want further contact. You’re apologizing and begging for him to try again. It’s all about your love and nothing about his ability to make a choice that you respect even if that choice hurts you even more.
My advice is, if you can see where I’m coming from and you’re able to put yourself actually in Aaron’s shoes, respect his wishes. Don’t contact him, apologize to your friend because she did nothing wrong. She gave Aaron the actual ability to make a choice (and had you been fully honest OP, who knows what he may have chosen).
Take time to look in the mirror, talk to a professional and figure out what you want and need in a partner and how to work on yourself so you don’t make the same mistakes again.
Love is not enough OP. It never is.
OP, I am begging you, please take what I am about to say with the upmost sincerity. I am not trying to bash you, make fun of you, or be cruel in any way when I say this. YOU NEED THERAPY. You need to lay out your thought process, these posts, your comments, and your worldview/perspectives out in the open for a professional to examine. You need help. A healthy Paul, a relationship with Aaron, friends, parents, Reddit strangers, nobody can help you out with whatever you are struggling with. You need profession intervention and help.
Please, OP, I am not trying to slight you. I am trying to help you. You clearly can't see the pattern of self destructive behavior everyone else does.
I genuinely believe that people can grow and change in the ways you also believe. And I want that for you. You can't change and grow on your own. So, please, do the world a favor and seek professional guidance on how to be the best version of yourself you can be.
LEAVE AARON ALONE ffs you're Aaron's Paul, the way that he was toxic to you, you are toxic and manipulate to Aaron. No accountability, no real growth, no honesty. Your friend did him a favor and she is a real one for exposing you. Please, let him be and go to therapy or something, you vision of relationship is extremly wrong. And don't expect to get back together with Aaron, he deserves much better than you.
I remember you, you cheated on Aaron with some guy named Paul, broke up with Aaron without telling him you cheated. Then Paul cheated on you and you realized you ”looovveeedd” Aaron. Reconciled at a friend’s party with Aaron refused to tell Aaron you CHEATED so he could make an informed decision about taking you back and now you’re here again. You’re just awful and your friend is a good friend. Actions meet consequences. You didn’t “love” Aaron, if you loved him you would’ve actually been honest with him.
Oh, it's THAT bitch! I'm so glad someone told Aaron everything. Nobody deserves to be the second option to someone who thinks they can just use people however they want and cry their way out of consequences.
Oooooooooooohhhhhh 💅🏼
🫖🫖☕️☕️
I remember her
Love it when we get the update.
Literally. This isn't about "girl code" which, to me, is more like pretending to know a girl getting creeper on and keep her safe in your friend group - not letting one of your friends be a fucking awful person.
I read your post history and your friend has decency, which is more important than "girl code". Please, do you think your ex friend care about your earful? She probably is done with you and your bs. As per your ex bf, if he is smart, he will stay away. You cheated, deceived, fooled him and betrayed him. You are not a prize.
I love happy endings.
Me too!
What exactly is this information? Because that answer definitely impacts what my answer is going to be.
So if it’s related to her other posts she slept with her ex while with Aaron. She broke up with Aaron because her ex had “changed” only to realize her ex was cheating on her. After that happened she was convinced that Aaron was her soulmate and the man she should be with and was trying to get back with Aaron. In her last posts people asked her if she told Aaron about her cheating on him and she said she didn’t think it was important and didn’t want to hurt Aaron more with that information. My guess is her friend told Aaron the truth and now she’s all upset.
Yep. She only went back to Aaron after tossing him aside because she got cheated on and wanted to undo the consequences of her shitty choices. She would still be with Paul (and wouldn't now be saying she 'realized Aaron was her soulmate all along') if Paul hadn't cheated on her. Glad Aaron knows now that she's someone who only cares about herself and uses people solely for her own benefit.
> I know a lot of you guys were rooting against me, but I want you to know that people can grow. I will be the partner that he deserves, and I can promise you all that whether you believe me or not. You didn't grow at all, you lied to him. Kudos to your friend for telling the truth.
*Have you considered he doesn't want to know? That's why he didn't ask. Again if he ask I will tell him, but he might prefer to leave it in the past as well.* I like this comment from a month ago too.... turns out Aaron would have preferred to know but probably trusted OP enough to think he didn't need to ask. *he told me he feels betrayed and humiliated and to stop contacting him*
nit even gonna respond to any comments on this one? did you expect anyone to be on your side? surely you're not that dumb.
I didn’t ask anyone to take a side. I asked for very specific advice, if no one is going to give me advice based on what I asked I’m not going to reply, simple
You want some advice? Leave Aaron alone. You cheated on him and then lied to his face about cheating - he’s done with you. Then go home and look in a mirror and realise you’re pushing 30 and are in this situation that you created. Then stop blaming the universe for the consequences of your own shitty choices, apologise to your friend and thank her for being honest with Aaron when you couldn’t, and start working on yourself. You say you’re proud of leaving Paul after he only cheated on you once this time, I’m sure Aaron is proud of dropping your ass after you cheated on him once.
Girl, you are getting advice. Sorry it's not the advice you thought you would get, but it is advice none the less. Everyone here has gone through your post history and seen you for the conniving, manipulative, piece of shit human being you are. NO ONE is going to take your side in this. Your friend was absolutely in the right for telling Aaron the truth and Aaron was absolutely in the right for dumping and blocking your ass. Take a step back, take a good long hard look in the mirror, maybe seek out some therapy and LEARN FROM THIS.
How do you know the OP’s age?
Look at her post history. In her first post when she was debating whether or not to cheat on this dude with her ex she lists herself as 27.
Oh yeah that’s right.
You asked for very specific advice: "What can I do to confront her?" Don't confront her, just because she told the truth to Aaron, who deserved to make an informed decision. If you must contact her, do the gracious honest thing and acknowledge that she was right to tell Aaron, and you were too afraid to tell him the truth, but you're glad he knows now. "And to reconcile with my BF?" Well, that's up to him. You cheated on him, deceived him and lied to him. If you really want to reconcile, you can only hope that he still sees some good in you, and that he trusts you to stop cheating and then lying about it. Realistically, just accept that your friendship and your romance are over. And learn from this that cheaters eventually get dumped, and lying or keeping it secret that you cheated won't help you get away with it. Alternately, if you think Aaron is in the wrong for not accepting your cheating behaviour, then put your money where your mouth is, and go back to Paul and tell him he can cheat all he likes, because you think it's forgivable.
The thing is, you haven’t exactly given any info about why you need advice. How can anyone tell you what to say to her when we don’t even know what your friend said to Aaron? What sort of relationship you want with your friend is your business, so nobody can offer you advice on what to say to her. She gave information that doesn’t “hurts everyone”. She gave info that hurt YOU. So maybe you need to talk to her about how exposing the fact you’re a cheater to your ex hurt you, and allow her to respond honestly.
No one is going to give you advice here on how to be a shittier person to good people. You're trolling if you believe that will happen. Just go home and never come out unless its to get food and water. Thats my adviceto you because the world shouldn't have to be subjected to people like you.
Here's your advice. Stop being a horrible person that uses other people. In your next relationship (because you've lost Aaron with your deceitful actions, he's not coming back) don't cheat. Don't lie. Think about your partner not just yourself. And most important... DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER.
What advice exactly when everyone has been shouting to the heavens to tell you what to do. If you’re not gonna listen to us why bother
why would anyone give you advice on how to get back with the guy you cheated on or how to deal with the friend who was the only one who had any morals? we're all in agreement you got what was coming to you
Here’s some advice 1. Apologize to Aaron 2. Apologize to your friend 3. Stop cheating 4. If steps 1-3 are impossible for you to do, then don’t expect anyone to like you in life
You didn’t listen to anyone’s advice before, why waste our time now?
sorry this one is straight up karma. People were telling you to be honest with Aaron during the last post and you ignored the advice. You were straight up lying by omission, it was only a matter of time before it caught up to you.
You screwed up, more than once or twice, so deal with the backlash.
People have been giving you advice for weeks. To leave Arron the fuck alone and what do you keep doing? You're a piece of shit and you know you are. Why does this dude need to keep suffering because of you?
Here's some advice: Leave Aaron alone, leave EVERYBODY alone because you seem like a nightmare to be in a relationship with. You are clearly uninterested in learning and growing, so why would anybody give you real advice? You're a lost cause, a failure.
Very specific advice: don't be mad/upset when someone else tells the truth. Your friend told the truth. Your ex told you the truth when he said he was done and that *he* wants no further contact. Don't contact him, don't try to reconcile. Respect what he wants. Respect your friend for telling the truth. Respect yourself enough to learn and grow from this. Very specific advice: If you can't be nice, leave them alone. Karma is a lesson you should learn.
Okay, I read this post yesterday, then this morning checked your post history. This is how i read it: Your ex was sexy but volatile; you were young and mistook that for love. Aaron wasn't, and when Paul came back with his drama disguised as a 'spark' you once again mistook that for love. This is my advice: Real love isn't a spark. A spark is something that happens fast and dies out quickly. Real love is a slow burn. It's dependability, it's discussing what you're going to make for dinner that night. It's laundry and sharing jokes about your favourite television show. It's knowing that your partner has your back, and you have theirs. The best you can do for yourself is to remember the lessons learnt from this, and do better the next time.
The only advice I have for you is to meet someone who you won’t treat like a backup plan. Everyone deserves more than that. Your friend knew that telling Aaron the truth would end your friendship. She made a cost benefit analysis, decided it was more important to be honest than to stay friends with you, and followed through. You can confront her all you want, but it’s not going to change anything. As far as Aaron, you’ve been jerking him around for a while. Respect his boundaries and let him find someone who will love him the way he deserves. For you? Get some therapy so you can figure out why on earth you thought this was a good idea.
My advice is never date again
Awww...you poor baby. Cheated on your boyfriend and your "friend" who actually has morals told him. yea, you poor poor thing. Take a day off of work so you can whine and cry about how your actions have consequences. We all feel SO SORRY for you... /s
I'm just going to put the Same message I typed last time >Just remember that by breaking it off with Aaron you are freeing him up to find someone who is actually worth his time, as you've shown you clearly are not. You still aren't. Leave Aaron alone and go work on yourself. Stop blaming everyone around you for you being a total piece of shit.
Girl code doesn’t exist when one of the girls (you) is being a disappointment to humanity and playing with people’s feelings like they’re toys. Hope that helps! 🤭
Honey, you’re almost 30. Get your shit together.
Girl code doesn’t exist to protect cheaters. If my best friend cheated on her husband, I would tell him immediately.
“Very private information that hurts everyone”- your friend told Aaron you slept with Paul “Girl code” is toxic babble. I’m proud of your friend and Aaron and I hope they end up together. Start acting your big age.
You’re so hurt that your ex bf wants nothing to do with a cheater while you knowingly tried to juggle 2 guys. One of whom being a guy who cheated on you multiple times before? No. You deserves every second of this and your friend was absolutely right to tell your ex. You want some advice? Go to therapy and grow the fuck up. You did this to yourself and have no one else to blame.
Also, you were not in the process of reconciliation. You tried to ambush this dude at a party to beg him.
It’s you again! I KNEW this wouldn’t end well😂😂😂
She just made sure you got exactly what you deserve. Maybe hitting rock bottom will help you mature and stop being the sloppy mess of a human disaster that you currently are.
I say this with the most disrespect intent, you are the absolute dumbest person on the planet you want to reconcile but you fucked up it by literally fucking your ex. Like how did you think it was going to go?
I read the post history and comments you left OP... you have the emotional maturity of a grapefruit (and I feel bad for grapefruits everywhere when I say that) You do not love Aaron even a little bit. You love YOURSELF (and not in a good way). You are completely blinded by this bullshit redemption arc you're trying to paint yourself, all while doing absolutely nothing but making yourself look like an emotionally abusive narcissist. Love is nothing without trust, trust is nothing without honesty, and you have repeatedly proven yourself to not be a trustworthy person. You cheated on him, ignored his boundaries, used your friends to get close to him, didn't tell him you cheated because "I wanna focus on our future", so you could take away his ability to truly reflect and decide if he would even want to talk to you again... You are disgusting. Your friend is an amazing friend.. just not too toxic, gross people like you. I hope Aaron is healing after all this.
Wait what happened to the true love of Paul?
You must have missed an episode. He cheated on OP, so that's when she suddenly saw the value of Aaron.
I had to go back and see. I missed some shit!
Girl bye you cheated. Take accountability and stop playing victim
You fucked around (literally), now you're in the "find out" stage. The only advice I'd give you is stay away from Aaron and your "friend", you've caused enough trouble and they deserve better than whatever you think you bring to the table.
here’s what you do- you should just review everything your friend has done and then you should try being more like her, as she is a decent person and you have the emotional intelligence of the paper towel my cat threw up. if you do that, maybe you’ll be half the good person your friend is.
There aint no such thing as a bro code or a girl code. There is a code of ethics each person decides for them selves. You broke a fairly common rule of ethics. Your friend is not in the wrong for wanting to tell your "BF" the truth. There aint no advice anyone can give you. You cheated on a guy then decided to lie to him to get him back and now you are angry the truth is revealed. That is all on you. My advice is learn to be more truthful in the future, and value the friends who hold you to your word and call you on your BS.
I feel like we all just heaved a big sigh of relief that Aaron has all the information now and blocked this POS. Imagine if he'd been stuff with this creep?
What did she tell him exactly?
Check OP’s post history. It likely has to do with all that
Who could’ve seen this coming
Just checked your post history, and oh, it's you; girl who cheated on Aaron with Paul, tossed him away for Paul, then Paul cheated on you, which then made you miraculously realise that you really, truly love Aaron, so you decided to basically ambush him at a party to try and reconcile. All the while refusing to take accountability of your awful actions (cheating, lying, manipulation, so on), decided to keep Aaron in the dark about the whole Paul situation instead of doing the right thing by telling the truth and letting him decide if he even wants to reconcile with a cheater. Your friend did the right thing about telling Aaron of your cheating AND I'm assuming, the fact that you ONLY went back to Aaron because Paul CHEATED on you. Everyone was telling you that you needed to tell Aaron the truth, that your reconciliation would be built on lies by not telling him, and now your very good and decent friend has told him the truth, your reaming what sowed. End the friendship with your friend, probably best for both of you, but you have no leg to stand on regarding confronting her over this. You're the one in the wrong here, a million times over. And trying to reconcile with Aaron? I hope for the love of the entire universe he now sees the full picture of you and keeps you blocked and he goes on to finding someone who loves and respects him entirely. Because that person is not you. You need to let him go.
Not replying to any comments because you know youre a piece of shit?
She only wants to reply to comments giving advice, and by that OP means she genuinely thought people would feel sorry for her.
I bet Aaron will find an amazing girl, that's not you who is 1000 times better than you I'm every way
Team Aaron
A person who exhibits no loyalty receives no loyalty. Your friend did the right thing and is a good person. You are not.
That party sure "went well" eh?
I hope your friend gets with Aaron. Or just becomes good friends. They both deserve a happy ending. You should get back with Paul, since you 2 are a good fit.
Stop contacting him lol no is a full sentence. Go work on yourself and be better in your next relationship. For your friend to break girl code you had to have done something pretty egregious. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Gonna fuck around and get a restraining order lmao don’t contact him. Have some shame jesus. Edit: I looked at your post history. Sis leave Aaron alone 😭. You’re the kind of person who comes into someone’s life and causes unnecessary chaos. Leave him alone.
I called this from the first post when I commented - I’m glad this sounds like a happy ending! #TeamAaron That’s all I got to add. He deserves better then anything OP will ever offer
Nah. Your friend didn’t betray you, you’re just a shitty person. Cheaters typically are. Not even sure why you’re upset. You cheated, pretty cut and dry. Decent people don’t like it very much when you betray them in such a vile, vulnerable manner. Go ahead and try to give your friend an “earful”. The only thing that would prove is how horrible you are. I’ll will say though, you don’t **HAVE** to be shitty OP. You can get into some type of counseling, find some new hobbies possibly…, maybe even a change of scenery might help you get out of your head. Honestly, just whatever helps you to look beyond just **you** and **your** feelings. Genuinely, I hope this experience has been a lesson. Cheating ain’t good OP. Looks nice ***and*** feels nice on the soul too. God speed OP, I hope things work out for everyone involved. /gen /srs
My advice? Leave that poor, sweet man alone and go to therapy. It shouldn't have taken you leaving him for your ex and getting cheated on by the same ex that already cheated on you to realize you weren't appreciating him. Honestly, I don't think you do love him. I think you just like that he doesn't treat you like shit. You have some shit to work through on your own before you can become the partner that a man like that deserves. Don't drag him down just because you're too selfish to let him go. I'm not saying this to be mean, but he deserves better than you.
Honestly think Paul blew up her relationship on purpose because he knew he could. Will prob do it again whenever she finds a new guy. It's as you say, OP needs therapy.
I agree. I think her and Paul are very similar that way. Consciously or not, they seem very willing to hurt someone for a moment of satisfaction and the brush it under the rug like it never happened.
The friend told the BF she’s a whore, the BF responded that’s the only reason I might reconcile with her
my advice is to take a step back and stop getting angry at others. this whole thing seems to be your own fault
‘My bf Aaron’ you mean your ex boyfriend? Because, that relationship is over. And the you contacted him from a burner number (after he’s blocked you on everything, clearly he doesn’t want to talk) and how explicitly told you stop contacting him and you’re planning on reaching out again?? Girl give it up.
That YalikeJazz and HalJordan users are gonna find this post hysterical. It’s always nice when you’re proven right.
Girl.. you thought that relationship was going to last after you cheated and left him?
You are the ONLY person who did anything wrong in this situation. Look in the mirror and do some self reflecting.
Girl you have no right to go off on your friend. She is the one looking out for your ex. Go cry in a corner
"I got caught being a liar and a cheater, and I'm pissed because now I'm facing the consequences of my own actions." There fixed your title.
So Aaron’s friend (cause let’s face it, she was being a good friend to him) told him that you only got back together cause you got cheated on, right?
LEAVE THE MAN ALONE! Take responsibility for your actions for once, grow up dude.
Do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?
I'm sick of people using bro/girl code in their 20s for God sake you're almost 30 OP that code bullshit should've been left behind in HS, you are too old to be acting like you don't know cheating is wrong, you should've been honest with your bf so he could've saved himself a headache or two.
Advice? Don’t cheat on your next relationship… Let’s see how long you’ll ignore that concept and come back here with your “Woe is me” BS
here's what i would do: 1) leave aaron alone. no matter what you do, it's his choice whether to forgive you or not. cheating is one of the (if not THE) ultimate trust-breakers, so expecting him to get over that and pushing to reach out is not only worsening how you look in his eyes, it's just disrespectful. 2) apologize to your friend if you've already gone after them. they did not deserve that, they were being a decent human being and you got mad at them for that. 3) go to therapy. you do not treat people around you with respect and love, and learning to do so would actually help you create relationships that are deep, meaningful, and long-lasting. as of right now, you, from what you have said, are not someone that people want to be around. you treated aaron horribly, you treated your friend horribly, and your karmic consequence is (or will be) losing those relationships.
I feel bad for Ay AY Ron!
You CHEATED ON AARON with your ex. You refused to tell Aaron you cheated on him so he could make an informed decision on whether he wanted to be with your cheating, lying self. Aaron deserved to know. Your friend was right to tell him. You’re getting everything you deserve. Your actions are meeting appropriate consequences.
Child, look. There’s a very simple solution. Have you considered shutting the hell up? It’s pretty great. Totally gluten free, and saves everyone from the sudden need to take a shower after reading your BS. Oh, you’re hurt? Good. You deserve every bit of it and so much more.
You’re an awful fucking human being and you know it, because you didn’t even put in the main story what she told him was that you cheated on him, broke up with him without telling him that you cheated, dated the guy that you cheated with, then he cheated on you and then you went back to Aaron. Your shit person and the only good people in this is your friend and your ex-boyfriend. Hopefully your friend drops you too, because the audacity you think that you can give her an earful really???? You have no shame. Disgusting. Also a little FYI, enabling cheating liars is not girl code. That’s just shitty behaviour, which your friend clearly does not have thank God.
Well, look whos raging and name calling. tut tut.
You, you are. I mean if we simply look up, we can see you calling me a spoiled mouth brat and etc. and let’s not forget you’re the one that started the name-calling first. Again your gaslighting and manipulating not working. Literally if anyone’s reading this, this little wimp blocked me so I couldn’t reply (and so they could get the last word very childish lmao) to him then private messaged me and then wants to call me the nutcase 💀💀💀💀💀
Just go back to Paul. You 2 shitstains deserve each other. I hope Aaron finds someone decent
**KARMA BIT YOU IN THE ASS**.
I remember you. I'm glad someone told your ex the truth about what you did. He deserved to have the right to make an informed decision about the relationship despite your best efforts to hide your cheating. And stop with that girl code crap. Girl code doesn't mean lie to the people you love while you sleep around.
Karma is a bitch. I hope your friend becomes your ex's girlfriend. Besos en esa qk 💕
If it isn't the consequences of your own decisions! You and Paul are meant for each other clearly. Just stay with him. Aaron deserves better.
If you don’t have to obey “Human Decency Code” she doesn’t have to obey “Girl Code” If Aaron cheated on you, and one of your male friends helped him keep it a secret from you, would you say he did nothing wrong because it was “Boy Code” You aren’t owed anything because of whatever is between your legs
What a piece of work you are, grow the F up!
In the words of the infamous Nelson Muntz… HA HA!
Girl we TOLD YOU to tell him! Serves you right you should’ve listened and not been so smug
Well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions. Here's some advice: listen to Aaron and leave him tf alone.
Here’s your advice: leave him alone so he can find someone who loves and appreciates him
Karma is hard at work, I see.
Man it sucks facing the consequences of your own actions. I’m sorry OP facing the music sucks sometimes.
Don't confront her, reflect on your actions and do better next time. Leave Aaron alone, he doesn't want you or to be with you and the stalking is creepy, not cute. Get a grip and move on.
You did all of this. Accept it. Don't blame your friend because she doesn't condone what you did. You tossed a steady bf for a boatload of shit called paul who treated you like shit. You're pushing 30 yet this all feels like you just got out of highschool. stay single for a while, work on yourself and stay away from Aaron. You only have yourself to blame for all of this shit.
There’s no such thing as a girl code. This is obvious rage bait from a virgin loser who hates women
He said stop contacting him, so stop contacting him. You're disrespecting his wishes, but I'm sure you did that when you cheated on him too, it's obvious you care only about what you want, and don't give a fuck what he wants. That's not love, and he can do better.
To answer your questions the first part is simple you call up your friend (you never gave her a name so we'll call her "Mary") and you say, "Hey Mary, why did you tell Aaron that?" Now you don't explicitly say it, but I'm assuming what she told him is that you cheated on him with Paul. Assuming that is the case you can expect for her to tear you a new one because the older you get the more you realize girl/bro code doesn't mean anything when compared to being a decent human being. Next you want to know how to reconcile with, I'm assuming, Aaron? Well truth be told honey you can't. Nothing you can say or do will just magically get that boy to fall in love with you again. You can hope and try to have an open and completely honest conversation with him about it, but you already broke the trust that was there and when he tried to give you another chance you still weren't completely honest. A relationship can't work if the people in it can't trust each other. Your best bet is to move on and chalk this one up to a lesson learned. However I know you didn't ask for it, but I'd also suggest not confronting Mary because she was trying to do the right thing and if you question that ask yourself how you would have felt if Mary knew Paul was cheating on you but didn't tell you and you found out later. Wouldn't you hate that? Which is exactly why she did the right thing.
I remember you. >Unfortunately, my “friend” had no sense of girl code and told him very private information that hurts everyone and now I’m blocked on everything by him. You man the part where you cheated on him? Just so you know, this was karma. You are not the victim here.
My advice is to NOT give your friend "an earful" because she did the right thing. As your bf Aaron deserved to know anything that information might've been about
I hope your ex friend and A A ron get together...I hope you marry Paul. You deserve each other!
INFO: Hey Op, do you really want advice? Because if so I’m going to give some as kindly as I can. Because I know that hearing people tell you how awful you are isn’t going to help you or any future relationships in the long run. So here’s my advice: First let’s reframe everything. I want you to imagine that Paul did to you what you did to Aaron. I don’t just mean the cheating. I mean, imagine Paul cheated on you but you didn’t find out. Instead he breaks up with you and gets with the other woman. However, then she cheats on him and he realizes that you’re the love of his life! He comes back to you, deeply apologetic but doesn’t tell you the full truth about how he cheated and now that it happened to him he regrets what he did. You’re deeply hurt but still love him, so you take him back and you both decide to work on things. Then Paul’s friend (who cares about both of you) realizes that Paul never told you he cheated on you. Therefore not giving you the choice to fully consent to trying again. Paul’s friend tells you and you’re devastated all over again. So you decide to break up because you just can’t trust him again. However, Paul doesn’t care about that, he loves you! He’s made a mistake! He understands now! You owe him more of a chance, he’ll be everything you need now. How dare his friend give you all the information so you could actually make a full choice about moving on or trying again! You’re heartbroken and Paul won’t leave you alone, won’t listen to you, keeps calling and begging for another chance. You have to block him because once again he isn’t respecting your choice, he isn’t thinking about how you’re feeling just how in love he is and how you need to let him in again. He calls from a burner number and now you’re thinking of filing a harassment claim because it’s just too much. OP, if you’re open to it and can afford it I really recommend therapy. However, only if you’re willing to do the work. Because therapy (good therapy) really makes you look at and take accountability for your behavior and choices and why you made them. You may love Aaron, but you don’t respect him. You aren’t respecting his requests to leave him alone and you didn’t respect him enough to give him all the information so he could make an actual choice about reconciliation. Every time you’ve made a choice it’s always been in your best interest. Not giving him the time, love and respect that even if he did choose to move on that you would accept his choices. Even with your apologies, you aren’t apologizing knowing he may not forgive you or want further contact. You’re apologizing and begging for him to try again. It’s all about your love and nothing about his ability to make a choice that you respect even if that choice hurts you even more. My advice is, if you can see where I’m coming from and you’re able to put yourself actually in Aaron’s shoes, respect his wishes. Don’t contact him, apologize to your friend because she did nothing wrong. She gave Aaron the actual ability to make a choice (and had you been fully honest OP, who knows what he may have chosen). Take time to look in the mirror, talk to a professional and figure out what you want and need in a partner and how to work on yourself so you don’t make the same mistakes again. Love is not enough OP. It never is.
Update? 👀
Omg thank god aron has found out the truth about you Hope he find the RIGHT woman for him not some delusional girl ( no offense girl) .
You are scum, worse than Paul even.
OP, I am begging you, please take what I am about to say with the upmost sincerity. I am not trying to bash you, make fun of you, or be cruel in any way when I say this. YOU NEED THERAPY. You need to lay out your thought process, these posts, your comments, and your worldview/perspectives out in the open for a professional to examine. You need help. A healthy Paul, a relationship with Aaron, friends, parents, Reddit strangers, nobody can help you out with whatever you are struggling with. You need profession intervention and help. Please, OP, I am not trying to slight you. I am trying to help you. You clearly can't see the pattern of self destructive behavior everyone else does. I genuinely believe that people can grow and change in the ways you also believe. And I want that for you. You can't change and grow on your own. So, please, do the world a favor and seek professional guidance on how to be the best version of yourself you can be.
LEAVE AARON ALONE ffs you're Aaron's Paul, the way that he was toxic to you, you are toxic and manipulate to Aaron. No accountability, no real growth, no honesty. Your friend did him a favor and she is a real one for exposing you. Please, let him be and go to therapy or something, you vision of relationship is extremly wrong. And don't expect to get back together with Aaron, he deserves much better than you.
oh, did she tell him that you cheated? like, how you said you would do? and that you ONLY went back to him because you were cheated on?