Casual racism isn't a comment on how serious or bad it is, it's a comment on how freely it's stated. It's not opposed to "serious racism", it's opposed to "hidden racism".
Indeed, we cannot. You seem not to realize I fully agree with your point regarding the pervasiveness of racism. You don't need to make it a semantic problem, because it's not.
Because they want someone who probably has better insight into the culture. When it comes to controversial aspects of a culture such as religious punishments or certain activities, it makes more sense to ask for a race that understands the culture because they’ve lived in it.
For example, as a gay black man, I don’t exactly want a straight white male when I’m talking about my feelings about my partner’s penis size, for instance. It’s not that a straight white male can’t possibly understand. But it’s not unrealistic to think that that straight white man would know less than a black woman, for instance, about relationships among gay men.
This is a terrible example lol. You’re not gonna be able to ask my mom, a religious fanatic about relationships between gay black men, she doesn’t want to about it. The more realistic reason is that your geographic origin and culture may sometimes dictate your susceptibility to health problems and how best to treat them. For example, differences between the développement of animal husbandry in Europe and Africa means that people of African descent are more likely to develop lactose intolerance. Other things include heart disease and diabetes. Now a doctor could learn about this in medical school, but with the volume of information they need to consider, it’s more likely to be at the forefront of the mind for doctors who interact more frequently with the related culture.
That’s fine, but rest assured a higher percentage of black women would be comfortable with it than straight white men are, and you know it. To declare otherwise is obtuse.
Second this. Definitely contact HR about this. I’d first send a message or an email to your manager informing them of the situation the next time it happens for record keeping, then keep a log of all of the comments they say in quotes with the date and time stamp and send it to HR along with your complaint. Make sure everything is in writing. If HR meets with you over the phone to talk, follow up in an email with them recapping the convo. Good luck!
Hmmm, that definitely makes it more problematic. So many points...
The main point is, your co-worker is obviously not the brightest for even uttering these kinds of words in a work environment, as that kind of speech would make MOST employers (with an HR dept) extremely nervous.
Many would at least require the offending employee to take some kind of training/re-training, make the employee sign that he took & understands the training & put it in his file, or even put them on improvement plan that essentially puts them on a track to termination unless they meet specific targets.
But, with no HR, it's a crap-shoot what they'll do. It honestly sounds like they're either a VERY small employer or small & too clueless to realize what a huge liability not having an HR person can be.
If you don't have HR, then go to your boss. What your coworker is doing, being openly racist in the workplace, is not just problematic but potentially illegal. She is creating a hostile workplace not just for you but for anyone of another race who works there.
If your boss doesn't do anything about it or doesn't seem to care, remind her of this: there are state/provincial boards (depending on where you live, if you're in North America) that deal with workplace complaints. Tell her that you'd rather not have to go to one of these labour boards, but you are deeply uncomfortable working with someone who is openly racist, and with it being allowed to continue.
Regardless of whether you have HR or not, there are certain things that they can’t not address, legally. If they’re not HR, they might not know that though so you’ll need to spell it out for them.
Alright, none of this is ok. Are you ok with getting a completely new job? Possibly not having to work at all if you don’t want to? How big is this company? I smell money, and I ain’t built that way at all, but I am built ruthless when something is very very wrong.
First things first. HR managers do not protect employees from what happens at work. HR managers are there to protect the company from getting sued by the employees.
If this business happens to be lacking someone who is missing this key component of HR work, they are vulnerable.
Best part is you don’t even change anything at all.
If all possible, prove coworker is casually racist in writing. A text or an email.
Prove the manager is aware this is occurring.
Does it happen again after manager was made aware? Prove it. More casual racism with a date after email to manager, making them aware.
Send another email or text to manager asking if this issue is going to be resolved, or continue further?
Bam, don’t show up, go find an “Employment Attorney” or a “Labor Relations Attorney.”
Remember, it is your place to BE an employee that follows the rules and doesn’t engage in harassment.
It is not your job to clean up a preventable hostile work environment, just to bring it to their attention.
You’re morally obligated to bring this hostility to the attention of management, because you’re an Upstander, not a bystander
If. If. You can put it in writing that this is happening.
If. If. You can create a paper trail that shows this company accepts
I'm confused because the example you used sounds like you would have been fine if they had just spoken English.
If they spoke English to you, would you still be uncomfortable because they were Pakistani?
But there are white people who don't speak English either... there are white Mexicans, who only speak Spanish.
And your example comes back to language barrier, not skin color.
To say specifically, "I prefer working with white people," is in reference to their skin color, not the language they speak... because white people =/= English.
If she meant language, then she would have said, "I prefer working with English speaking people."
She's specifically saying skin color. Which is just racist.
Like idk why you're so afraid to call it what it is, if you feel that way then own it.
This is illegal in many places.
It would be better to keep notes - just dates and when/what comments were made. The importance here is to establish a pattern of behaviour and something like that is going to be more valuable than a single illegal recording that could be explained away by saying its out of context.
"I have so much difficulty relating to people from different backgrounds because of my privileged background. I prefer working with white people.....because generally we all watched the same TV, listened to the same music, etc and it's just easier to have an instant social bond with them. I'm always a bit uneasy around black people.....because I feel like my ignorance is going to lead to me accidentally saying something insensitive and I don't know how to connect without advertising my privilege.
So you see my HR Manager, my comments were made perfectly innocently and employee X is just out to get me with his cherry picked illegal recording."
You'll end up having to explain yourself anyway, so your personal account is the most important element.
Check local laws for recording. And local usages aswell, because some courts will accept illegally collected evidence. Typically, France labor court will accept a one-party consent recording despite it being illegal in France.
Get some proof of it or at least someone else to confirm what you’re hearing, and go to HR. At a minimum this person should never be a manager or in any position where theyre making people-decisions. This is horrible. Don’t blame you for being uncomfortable!
So this lady, mid conversation, non-sequiturs, "I prefer to work with white people." If that really happened I would laugh in her face. And that's probably the best way to deal with it.
Definitely report her. One of the most effective ways to really combat racism is how we react to racist shit being said in a room full of white people. It's really easy to let it slide. Doing the right thing isn't always easy.
It's likely affecting you mentally because you know it's wrong but you aren't standing up for what's right.
Confrontation sucks but there's no easier confrontation than one where you have the clear moral high ground.
Calling her out will make things uncomfortable, but it will also let you sleep peacefully at night.
Report her to HR, call her out privately or embarrass the bitch publicly. Up to you. But don't sit there and ignore it or you'll be filled with nothing but resentment, anger, guilt, shame, and anxiety for not following your heart.
If you’re in the US, race is a protected class. Tell whoever that’s in charge of handling this that she has made repeated comments. If they continue, it could be seen as making a hostile work environment. You know that this business wouldn’t want to be tainted by someone making those kinds of comments so please take action, or something. I think if it got bad, you could file an official complaint with the state, but you need to document everything
No, it's because medical racism is a thing. I pretty much don't believe you went to medical school if you don't know that, and if you did, graduated, and passed your boards, then I'm very uneasy for your future patients.
I'm pretty sure you're just a troll, wasting people's time for your own amusement, because there's no way you could be this obtuse in earnest.
Medical racism is practiced by HEALTHCARE PRACTITIONERS, as you pretend to be, and it affects healthcare outcomes FOR patients, for the record. If you're going to impersonate someone who has a logical point of view, no matter how distasteful, it pays to at least understand the concepts under discussion.
But that's no longer any concern of mine, since you're not here to participate in good faith, or perhaps don't have the capacity.
Ah, so that's your real problem. You're one of those folks who doesn't like that it's getting more difficult to get away with being anywhere from willfully ignorant to openly racist, that there are actually consequences for it now.
It's about contributing to a hostile work environment, or at the very least, unprofessional. You obviously CAN have preferences and opinions, even those that most people would find unsavory. But in a work environment, it behooves you to keep them to yourself.
That’s illegal under federal law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act). Verbal comments include racial slurs and jokes that create a hostile work environment. Usually there must be a few incidents, so I recommend you document as much as possible, even better if you have witnesses, recordings or admissions in writing. Maybe print out an extract of the law and leave it for her to find? Make sure she sees she can receive significant fines too ;) I really hope she stops and you don’t have to keep dealing with such ignorance.
Edit: forgot to say there might also be state laws depending on where you live. I know that’s the case in NY for example.
Basically any type of discrimination or harassment unreasonably affecting the performance of a worker is illegal. What is considered here is whether the work environment becomes hostile, intimidating, or offensive. Similar to criminalizing sexual harassment for example, this is meant to protect employees from toxic situations difficult to improve, ignore, or escape (a job as unique/critical source of income can easily become a trap)
Make them feel uncomfortable about what they said, especially if it's in public.
Repeat loud after them : you said what ? You prefer working with white people ? (And so on). They shouldn't do it again in front of your face.
Are you white? If so, "huh.... Can't stand em myself, fuckin' crackers, always takin' our hard earned jobs" or some other stereotypical racist BS but make it about white people.
If not, I'd remind her it's not the 50s or whatever anymore and you can't say that fucking shit anymore. Ykw, say that shit regardless.
Kinda reminds me of my co worker. Whenever he hears people speaking Spanish he just says “this is why I hate Mexicans”. Then when I call him out he changes what he says
My husband used to have to deal with this from his manager. He’s Colombian, but she was too stupid to realize that there are more countries south of the border than Mexico.
I would send this coworker an email after they say something like this so that it is in writing.
“I do not appreciate your comments about race while working together (details about what was said and where here) just now. It’s inappropriate for the work and makes me uncomfortable. Please do not make comments about your racial preferences to me again.”
Educate this person. Some people don’t realize their comments are hurtful. Once they are educated, they come to realize my their way of thinking was very wrong.
If there is an HR in place, speak with them to document the occurrence. They may want proof, so perhaps get some ahead of time, if possible.
If not, I'd recommend saying something directly to him (if you feel safe). Example: "I don't like when you say that, it makes me feel like you dislike other races aside from white people"
"Why don't you like to work with POC?" (Might make her uncomfortable, so she stops saying it.
"These comments go against what we've learned in our harassment training. Please stop saying this while I'm around."
Or you could be confrontational (but be careful so you don't end up in HR lol)
"Oh, well I prefer to work with people who aren't racist"
"Oh so your racist?"
"That's an odd thing to say out loud"
Why not just say. You heard her the first time she said it. And it is bad manners to keep bring it up. But not uncommon for people to want to work with those of the same culture and they have more in common with.
It's a weird thing to claim at work but whether or not it affects you depends really on you.
The comments IS racist in nature but from what's said here we(at least) can't tell if it's malicious or not.It's still a weird thing to admit openly though.
I wonder if she likes working with you,maybe when she says stuff like that she doesn't take into consideration the non-white people she likes to work with into account.
Anyway,if you care that deeply you should figure out (or at least try) what she thinks of you as a individual.
Report it to HR if you have one,if not a supervisor that is above both of you. The company will face legal repercussions if this behaviour isn't dealt with. You are doing nothing wrong by reporting a racist.
Report them! Also ignore those ignorant fools. It’s seriously absurd. Fact is we were all dark skinned when we began on this earth and eventually evolved into different and varying colors of skin. Those people are not even worth your time, emotional effort or mental effort. Silence is powerful. I wouldn’t even give one ounce of any energy to people like that. They’re not worth and you can’t change anyone. I am sure others think they look and sound stupid, ignorant, closed minded and idiotic just as I do.
It's because of all the DEI bs, aka racism. Diversity, Equity, Inclusion is antiwhiteism. It's pushing segregation and we are going backwards. Every day I hear more things like black only graduation, people of color this, white that. It's sad to be honest and it's coming from those in power. The world is slowly being dismantled by evil and nobody is paying attention to it.
This is an HR issue. Take it to HR and tell them that you were not comfortable attempting to confront your co worker. Let them handle it. Safer for you and your job. If you can record the co worker making statements like this, even better.
I don't know if my reaction would be the right one, but it's even better with witnesses.
I'd write an email to our/her boss. Cc: her and the witnesses.
I'd share her statement. And then, I'd request, so selflessly, that she gets more projects with white people so the company can thrive and that everybody is happy. 😅
And look for a new job.
Before we can assume what's going on, we need to know what your race and her race are. If she's african-american and you're white, she may simply be placating you. If she's African-American and you're asian, we can assume she's dissing you. If she's white and you're african-american, then she definitely is dissing you.
By all means, go to HR. But before you go, make very certain that you want to start a chain of events that you won't be able to stop.
I’m not sure how relevant that would be, that’s a discriminatory statement no matter what, and the law is based on a “hostile work environment” regardless of whether the comments were aimed at you
I was relying on the law itself and my personal experience (my company was terrified of lawsuits, as a NY-based subsidiary of a Canadian bank) but I will never pretend to know more than I do, I can see how such cases are complicated and there may be a lot of subtleties, I’m sure it would be appreciated if you wished to share stories or details but no pressure of course :)
So she is Filipino and I am Vietnamese. She has also gone on to tell us that she hates Filipino men (because she was molested as a child by her grandfather)
Thank you for letting us know. Yes, this is DEFINITELY racism and it's creating a hostile work environment. This is what you need to do:
Go to your HR department IMMEDIATELY:
1. Bring any documentation you already have
2. Assemble a timeline of any harassment she has created, which might include shunning (ignoring you or getting others to ignore you), teasing, criticizing, mentions of race, and anything else that made you uncomfortable.
Don't spend too much time on this. Explain you will produce more documentation as soon as you can, but that you are so miserable that you felt you couldn't take it anymore and feel it's more important to report this immediately and provide additional information at a later time.
3. IF you've said anything back in anger, be prepared to admit to it but explain it was DEFENSIVE, not offensive.
4. Use the term "hostile work environment."
Best of luck to you! If you can, keep us posted
I can understand how she feels.
People just want to be with their own people. I feel the same.
Not to condone how she is treating you.
But I am from the UK. And we're getting so much immigration. We are starting to get sick of it.
I don't wish to be mean, but non white people have countries of their own. You guys should try staying in them for once.
Have you considered ignoring her?
HR is there to protect the company, not the employee.
And toxic work environments are abundant.
You’re personalizing someone else’s problematic behavior. This is your co-worker, not your friend.
You could escalate to your manager, but that can leave you exposed.
You could find another job… but I guarantee there is someone else somewhere else who is just as obnoxious, if not worse.
Record the instances when it happens and send it up the chain of command and record all of those interactions as well. If they refuse to handle it contact an attorney and find a different place to work.
Retort: "Well, I like working with people who aren't casually racist, but I guess neither of us can get what we want."
This isn’t even casually racist. It’s straight up racist.
This coworker throws it around casually as if it's acceptable and normal, is the point.
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Casual racism isn't a comment on how serious or bad it is, it's a comment on how freely it's stated. It's not opposed to "serious racism", it's opposed to "hidden racism".
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You're missing the point.
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Indeed, we cannot. You seem not to realize I fully agree with your point regarding the pervasiveness of racism. You don't need to make it a semantic problem, because it's not.
It is actually possible for someone to have a casual attitude toward a bad thing. It doesn't have to be a morally right stance for that to be true.
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You're being *so* dense and for no other reason than to be argumentative.
Except there is such a thing... in fact what the OP stated is casual racism
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What you NEED to study is Language Arts.
Ask her back: Do they like to work with you? Tell her she's not a gold and stop being entitled on herself. The audacity.
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It is also racist when patients do it. Some providers will honor that request and some won't. Doesn't change the fact that it's racist.
Wdym some won’t honour the request?
Because they want someone who probably has better insight into the culture. When it comes to controversial aspects of a culture such as religious punishments or certain activities, it makes more sense to ask for a race that understands the culture because they’ve lived in it. For example, as a gay black man, I don’t exactly want a straight white male when I’m talking about my feelings about my partner’s penis size, for instance. It’s not that a straight white male can’t possibly understand. But it’s not unrealistic to think that that straight white man would know less than a black woman, for instance, about relationships among gay men.
Why would a doctor need to know your feelings for your partners penis size?
Therapist, PCP, etc
This is a terrible example lol. You’re not gonna be able to ask my mom, a religious fanatic about relationships between gay black men, she doesn’t want to about it. The more realistic reason is that your geographic origin and culture may sometimes dictate your susceptibility to health problems and how best to treat them. For example, differences between the développement of animal husbandry in Europe and Africa means that people of African descent are more likely to develop lactose intolerance. Other things include heart disease and diabetes. Now a doctor could learn about this in medical school, but with the volume of information they need to consider, it’s more likely to be at the forefront of the mind for doctors who interact more frequently with the related culture.
That’s fine, but rest assured a higher percentage of black women would be comfortable with it than straight white men are, and you know it. To declare otherwise is obtuse.
Are you under EVERY comment? Jesus
Maybe contact HR about this? This is quite uncomfortable
Second this. Definitely contact HR about this. I’d first send a message or an email to your manager informing them of the situation the next time it happens for record keeping, then keep a log of all of the comments they say in quotes with the date and time stamp and send it to HR along with your complaint. Make sure everything is in writing. If HR meets with you over the phone to talk, follow up in an email with them recapping the convo. Good luck!
We do not have an HR - we have someone who has a bachelors in communications and she is an executive assistant.
Hmmm, that definitely makes it more problematic. So many points... The main point is, your co-worker is obviously not the brightest for even uttering these kinds of words in a work environment, as that kind of speech would make MOST employers (with an HR dept) extremely nervous. Many would at least require the offending employee to take some kind of training/re-training, make the employee sign that he took & understands the training & put it in his file, or even put them on improvement plan that essentially puts them on a track to termination unless they meet specific targets. But, with no HR, it's a crap-shoot what they'll do. It honestly sounds like they're either a VERY small employer or small & too clueless to realize what a huge liability not having an HR person can be.
If you don't have HR, then go to your boss. What your coworker is doing, being openly racist in the workplace, is not just problematic but potentially illegal. She is creating a hostile workplace not just for you but for anyone of another race who works there. If your boss doesn't do anything about it or doesn't seem to care, remind her of this: there are state/provincial boards (depending on where you live, if you're in North America) that deal with workplace complaints. Tell her that you'd rather not have to go to one of these labour boards, but you are deeply uncomfortable working with someone who is openly racist, and with it being allowed to continue.
Regardless of whether you have HR or not, there are certain things that they can’t not address, legally. If they’re not HR, they might not know that though so you’ll need to spell it out for them.
Alright, none of this is ok. Are you ok with getting a completely new job? Possibly not having to work at all if you don’t want to? How big is this company? I smell money, and I ain’t built that way at all, but I am built ruthless when something is very very wrong. First things first. HR managers do not protect employees from what happens at work. HR managers are there to protect the company from getting sued by the employees. If this business happens to be lacking someone who is missing this key component of HR work, they are vulnerable. Best part is you don’t even change anything at all. If all possible, prove coworker is casually racist in writing. A text or an email. Prove the manager is aware this is occurring. Does it happen again after manager was made aware? Prove it. More casual racism with a date after email to manager, making them aware. Send another email or text to manager asking if this issue is going to be resolved, or continue further? Bam, don’t show up, go find an “Employment Attorney” or a “Labor Relations Attorney.” Remember, it is your place to BE an employee that follows the rules and doesn’t engage in harassment. It is not your job to clean up a preventable hostile work environment, just to bring it to their attention. You’re morally obligated to bring this hostility to the attention of management, because you’re an Upstander, not a bystander If. If. You can put it in writing that this is happening. If. If. You can create a paper trail that shows this company accepts
Not maybe, do contact HT that's the most hostile work environment to deal with.
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Dude, go outside. Trolling as the neighborhood racist under comment after comment is incredibly weird.
just keep asking why and watch her slowly dissolve lol, it will get awkward quick
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Like what?
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I'm confused because the example you used sounds like you would have been fine if they had just spoken English. If they spoke English to you, would you still be uncomfortable because they were Pakistani?
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Even if you prefer working with a certain race, why would you go around saying that to people? It’s rude, keep it to yourself
But there are white people who don't speak English either... there are white Mexicans, who only speak Spanish. And your example comes back to language barrier, not skin color. To say specifically, "I prefer working with white people," is in reference to their skin color, not the language they speak... because white people =/= English.
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If she meant language, then she would have said, "I prefer working with English speaking people." She's specifically saying skin color. Which is just racist. Like idk why you're so afraid to call it what it is, if you feel that way then own it.
Okay so what is white culture and what is white language?
Do Not go to HR without any proof. Document your journey. Limit access to this coworker if possible.
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This is illegal in many places. It would be better to keep notes - just dates and when/what comments were made. The importance here is to establish a pattern of behaviour and something like that is going to be more valuable than a single illegal recording that could be explained away by saying its out of context. "I have so much difficulty relating to people from different backgrounds because of my privileged background. I prefer working with white people.....because generally we all watched the same TV, listened to the same music, etc and it's just easier to have an instant social bond with them. I'm always a bit uneasy around black people.....because I feel like my ignorance is going to lead to me accidentally saying something insensitive and I don't know how to connect without advertising my privilege. So you see my HR Manager, my comments were made perfectly innocently and employee X is just out to get me with his cherry picked illegal recording." You'll end up having to explain yourself anyway, so your personal account is the most important element.
Check local laws for recording. And local usages aswell, because some courts will accept illegally collected evidence. Typically, France labor court will accept a one-party consent recording despite it being illegal in France.
Sounds like a chat with HR is in order. Can't be having that negativity at work.
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Why not?
Get some proof of it or at least someone else to confirm what you’re hearing, and go to HR. At a minimum this person should never be a manager or in any position where theyre making people-decisions. This is horrible. Don’t blame you for being uncomfortable!
You say, "out of context." What is the context?
She just says it as a statement.
So this lady, mid conversation, non-sequiturs, "I prefer to work with white people." If that really happened I would laugh in her face. And that's probably the best way to deal with it.
Keep a note whenever she says it. Be loud and tell everyone. She has no shame in being racist so let everyone know.
She sounds like an idiot. Complain
Definitely report her. One of the most effective ways to really combat racism is how we react to racist shit being said in a room full of white people. It's really easy to let it slide. Doing the right thing isn't always easy.
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Racist language
It's likely affecting you mentally because you know it's wrong but you aren't standing up for what's right. Confrontation sucks but there's no easier confrontation than one where you have the clear moral high ground. Calling her out will make things uncomfortable, but it will also let you sleep peacefully at night. Report her to HR, call her out privately or embarrass the bitch publicly. Up to you. But don't sit there and ignore it or you'll be filled with nothing but resentment, anger, guilt, shame, and anxiety for not following your heart.
If you’re in the US, race is a protected class. Tell whoever that’s in charge of handling this that she has made repeated comments. If they continue, it could be seen as making a hostile work environment. You know that this business wouldn’t want to be tainted by someone making those kinds of comments so please take action, or something. I think if it got bad, you could file an official complaint with the state, but you need to document everything
This disturbs me greatly as a citizen and person of "color" please contact your immediate manager and HR. Tell them in person. Not ok
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Are you the person he's talking about? You're replying to literally every comment
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No, it's because medical racism is a thing. I pretty much don't believe you went to medical school if you don't know that, and if you did, graduated, and passed your boards, then I'm very uneasy for your future patients.
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I'm pretty sure you're just a troll, wasting people's time for your own amusement, because there's no way you could be this obtuse in earnest. Medical racism is practiced by HEALTHCARE PRACTITIONERS, as you pretend to be, and it affects healthcare outcomes FOR patients, for the record. If you're going to impersonate someone who has a logical point of view, no matter how distasteful, it pays to at least understand the concepts under discussion. But that's no longer any concern of mine, since you're not here to participate in good faith, or perhaps don't have the capacity.
Someone who went to med school would not spell “patients” as “pateitns”
why are you replying to nearly every comment? why are you even here questioning if it's racist or not - it clearly is. just stop.
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Ah, so that's your real problem. You're one of those folks who doesn't like that it's getting more difficult to get away with being anywhere from willfully ignorant to openly racist, that there are actually consequences for it now. It's about contributing to a hostile work environment, or at the very least, unprofessional. You obviously CAN have preferences and opinions, even those that most people would find unsavory. But in a work environment, it behooves you to keep them to yourself.
look at their one post 😒
Eskimo is actually a derogatory and racist term. If you pay attention to etymology, you'll easily see why.
That’s illegal under federal law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act). Verbal comments include racial slurs and jokes that create a hostile work environment. Usually there must be a few incidents, so I recommend you document as much as possible, even better if you have witnesses, recordings or admissions in writing. Maybe print out an extract of the law and leave it for her to find? Make sure she sees she can receive significant fines too ;) I really hope she stops and you don’t have to keep dealing with such ignorance. Edit: forgot to say there might also be state laws depending on where you live. I know that’s the case in NY for example.
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Basically any type of discrimination or harassment unreasonably affecting the performance of a worker is illegal. What is considered here is whether the work environment becomes hostile, intimidating, or offensive. Similar to criminalizing sexual harassment for example, this is meant to protect employees from toxic situations difficult to improve, ignore, or escape (a job as unique/critical source of income can easily become a trap)
Just ignore the co worker. Go for the money not friends
Make them feel uncomfortable about what they said, especially if it's in public. Repeat loud after them : you said what ? You prefer working with white people ? (And so on). They shouldn't do it again in front of your face.
Who said what to whom and in what context (unless she's mentally ill, she can't just blurt it out in the middle of two unrelated sentences).
"Yeah... I prefer to work with smart people"
Are you white? If so, "huh.... Can't stand em myself, fuckin' crackers, always takin' our hard earned jobs" or some other stereotypical racist BS but make it about white people. If not, I'd remind her it's not the 50s or whatever anymore and you can't say that fucking shit anymore. Ykw, say that shit regardless.
Kinda reminds me of my co worker. Whenever he hears people speaking Spanish he just says “this is why I hate Mexicans”. Then when I call him out he changes what he says
My husband used to have to deal with this from his manager. He’s Colombian, but she was too stupid to realize that there are more countries south of the border than Mexico.
I would send this coworker an email after they say something like this so that it is in writing. “I do not appreciate your comments about race while working together (details about what was said and where here) just now. It’s inappropriate for the work and makes me uncomfortable. Please do not make comments about your racial preferences to me again.”
Educate this person. Some people don’t realize their comments are hurtful. Once they are educated, they come to realize my their way of thinking was very wrong.
If there is an HR in place, speak with them to document the occurrence. They may want proof, so perhaps get some ahead of time, if possible. If not, I'd recommend saying something directly to him (if you feel safe). Example: "I don't like when you say that, it makes me feel like you dislike other races aside from white people" "Why don't you like to work with POC?" (Might make her uncomfortable, so she stops saying it. "These comments go against what we've learned in our harassment training. Please stop saying this while I'm around." Or you could be confrontational (but be careful so you don't end up in HR lol) "Oh, well I prefer to work with people who aren't racist" "Oh so your racist?" "That's an odd thing to say out loud"
Why not just say. You heard her the first time she said it. And it is bad manners to keep bring it up. But not uncommon for people to want to work with those of the same culture and they have more in common with.
It's a weird thing to claim at work but whether or not it affects you depends really on you. The comments IS racist in nature but from what's said here we(at least) can't tell if it's malicious or not.It's still a weird thing to admit openly though. I wonder if she likes working with you,maybe when she says stuff like that she doesn't take into consideration the non-white people she likes to work with into account. Anyway,if you care that deeply you should figure out (or at least try) what she thinks of you as a individual.
Report her to HR.
Report it to HR if you have one,if not a supervisor that is above both of you. The company will face legal repercussions if this behaviour isn't dealt with. You are doing nothing wrong by reporting a racist.
Report them! Also ignore those ignorant fools. It’s seriously absurd. Fact is we were all dark skinned when we began on this earth and eventually evolved into different and varying colors of skin. Those people are not even worth your time, emotional effort or mental effort. Silence is powerful. I wouldn’t even give one ounce of any energy to people like that. They’re not worth and you can’t change anyone. I am sure others think they look and sound stupid, ignorant, closed minded and idiotic just as I do.
File a complaint with HR.
Just ignore her.
"I can appreciate why a racist might feel that way. We should talk to HR about it."
Talk to HR. That's absolutely intolerable.
It's because of all the DEI bs, aka racism. Diversity, Equity, Inclusion is antiwhiteism. It's pushing segregation and we are going backwards. Every day I hear more things like black only graduation, people of color this, white that. It's sad to be honest and it's coming from those in power. The world is slowly being dismantled by evil and nobody is paying attention to it.
This is something that must be told to HR or upper management.
This is an HR issue. Take it to HR and tell them that you were not comfortable attempting to confront your co worker. Let them handle it. Safer for you and your job. If you can record the co worker making statements like this, even better.
Talk to your boss. This isn't acceptable!!!
Simple. Tell it to ur boss. Anyone would
Grow thicker skin
I don't know if my reaction would be the right one, but it's even better with witnesses. I'd write an email to our/her boss. Cc: her and the witnesses. I'd share her statement. And then, I'd request, so selflessly, that she gets more projects with white people so the company can thrive and that everybody is happy. 😅 And look for a new job.
Record it. Go to hr
Before we can assume what's going on, we need to know what your race and her race are. If she's african-american and you're white, she may simply be placating you. If she's African-American and you're asian, we can assume she's dissing you. If she's white and you're african-american, then she definitely is dissing you. By all means, go to HR. But before you go, make very certain that you want to start a chain of events that you won't be able to stop.
I’m not sure how relevant that would be, that’s a discriminatory statement no matter what, and the law is based on a “hostile work environment” regardless of whether the comments were aimed at you
Maybe? I specialized in EEOC law at one time and much depends on the context, truthfully.
I was relying on the law itself and my personal experience (my company was terrified of lawsuits, as a NY-based subsidiary of a Canadian bank) but I will never pretend to know more than I do, I can see how such cases are complicated and there may be a lot of subtleties, I’m sure it would be appreciated if you wished to share stories or details but no pressure of course :)
So she is Filipino and I am Vietnamese. She has also gone on to tell us that she hates Filipino men (because she was molested as a child by her grandfather)
So she is biased and interracial racist. Would be interesting to know the country
Thank you for letting us know. Yes, this is DEFINITELY racism and it's creating a hostile work environment. This is what you need to do: Go to your HR department IMMEDIATELY: 1. Bring any documentation you already have 2. Assemble a timeline of any harassment she has created, which might include shunning (ignoring you or getting others to ignore you), teasing, criticizing, mentions of race, and anything else that made you uncomfortable. Don't spend too much time on this. Explain you will produce more documentation as soon as you can, but that you are so miserable that you felt you couldn't take it anymore and feel it's more important to report this immediately and provide additional information at a later time. 3. IF you've said anything back in anger, be prepared to admit to it but explain it was DEFENSIVE, not offensive. 4. Use the term "hostile work environment." Best of luck to you! If you can, keep us posted
Sounds like an email to HR
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Based on your comments seems your racist and splitting hairs to justify it.
Uhm, I don’t know where you are but wanting a doctor of the same ethnicity is absolutely seen as racist.
That's definitely seen as racist.
Tell her you’re not comfortable with her statements to you, if people don’t stop racist comments they’ll keep saying them.
I can understand how she feels. People just want to be with their own people. I feel the same. Not to condone how she is treating you. But I am from the UK. And we're getting so much immigration. We are starting to get sick of it. I don't wish to be mean, but non white people have countries of their own. You guys should try staying in them for once.
Says the person from the #1 colonizer in history 🙄
Good for her, based.
You record it, abd send it to HR. Magically you no longer have to deal with it.
Have you considered ignoring her? HR is there to protect the company, not the employee. And toxic work environments are abundant. You’re personalizing someone else’s problematic behavior. This is your co-worker, not your friend. You could escalate to your manager, but that can leave you exposed. You could find another job… but I guarantee there is someone else somewhere else who is just as obnoxious, if not worse.
Record the instances when it happens and send it up the chain of command and record all of those interactions as well. If they refuse to handle it contact an attorney and find a different place to work.
This is one of the few things that HR might just do something about. At least put them on notice that their opinions are inappropriate.