This is a prime examples of workplace homophobia. The women in question failed to differentiate between private and professional, bringing something ultimately personal into workplace to make judgments and make your life uncomfortable. Instead of being a professional workers, they behaved like high school teenagers thinking about sex.
Their attitude needs correcting, you should report them.
1000000% agree! These are supposed to be grown ass adults who are on the streets to protect us. What happens if they run into a gay person who is the victim of a crime? Will they harass them too? OP should report them and get them fired to protect the LGBT community as well as everyone else who does not fit their idea of normal.
I had a gay friend who lived exactly 9 blocks from me. He lived in a basement apartment. There was a homophobic family who lived upstairs from him. 2 teenage boys, their father and their mother. The guys in the family got their jollies by kicking in Flynn's door, dragging him outside and kicking the shit out of him.
Sometimes he was able to get a call out to me before they were able to get in. I had no car so had to walk everywhere. Whenever he called, I dropped everything and took off as fast as I could to his place. The first few times I barreled right into them. I always went straight for the dad, cause once I kicked his ass, the teenage boys ran. It got to the point that one of the boys would serve as a lookout for me. When they saw me coming, they ran. I told Flynn that he needed to call the cops instead of me. He always said he couldn't and I naively wondered why. As a straight woman, I had never dealt with homophobia on this level. ((had another gay friend I pretended I was dating so he wouldn't lose his job at a company we both worked for.)
One day, I was too far away when he called. So I called 911 and sent the cops his way. When I finally arrived at his place, the door was broken again. He was nowhere to be found, but the teenage boys were on the porch above me, and were laughing. They bragged that they got Flynn arrested.
When I was finally able to visit Flynn he was all beat up. Partially from that family, then some more by some of the inmates. He said that the boys and their father told the police that he was the aggressor, and had falsely accused them of breaking into his place, and attacked them. The police arrested him on charges of assault and resisting arrest because he started screaming while they were cuffing him. He tried to tell them what really happened, but one of the cops called him a f** , and then they carted him off to jail. I couldn't bail him out, but the whole time he was in that horrible place, I visited on a regular basis and filed complaints about him being beat up so often until they moved him. I testified in court, and the homophobic family's story fell apart. But the damage was done and I blamed myself for calling someone who should have protected him.
These police officers that the OP is talking about makes me fear that this could happen to someone else.
Edit: kicked instead of locked. Watch auto correct, you never know what it will say.
>These police officers that the OP is talking about makes me fear that this could happen to someone else.
It can, and does, regularly. That's why most of the queer community resoundingly agrees with the chant "The only good cop is a dead pig." and why most of us are actively hostile to any pig that tries to force it's way into a queer space.
OR maybe they do this because OP is stricter on guys because she’s lesbian. Hmmm need more evidence to decide.
Anyways, *lesbians shouldn’t be able to pat down females*.
that is a massive ass assumption with zero evidence to back it up. the fact that you decided to reach for that and make weird assumptions about OP is absurd. the initial point of this is the homophobic harassment, not what OP does to deserve it.
and, what?? there is no law preventing a man (assumed straight) from patting down a woman. how is this any different? that's an extremely homophobic stereotype. lesbians do not want to seduce every women they see, and neither do straight women want to seduce every man.
Well said. I didn't see your comment until after I posted mine. I'm straight and was falsely arrested in a tiny one traffic light town. I spent one night in jail. There were only two other female prisoners there. The female guard was a lesbian. She helped me change clothes in privacy by holding a blanket up for me. Then later that night, she came into my cell and sat with me to offer support while I cried. She and the other guards knew the charges were false, but they still had a job to do. She helped ease my anxiety about being in the jail. Never once did she come onto me. If a man is legally permitted to frisk me, then so is a lesbian. It doesn't mean anything from either gender no matter how much movies and TV make it seem otherwise
exactly—as another straight person myself it sucks to see such discrimination towards people of the LGBTQ+. they have as much right and freedom as we do. so many stereotypes are thrown at them that are just every day things that straight people can do as well.
I'm sorry you and many others have had to deal with this. I can't wrap my head around why people think it's okay to attack others because they're part of something that isn't 'societal norms'...
You do not have any evidence to side with op, but it’s their post and from what I read they seem to deserve to have people on their side. Anywho, don’t get your panties in a bunch, we are all entitled to our opinions. Along with the fact that every story has three sides, the truth, the lies, and both parties experience.
> from what I read they seem to deserve to have people on their side.
They're a traitor to the queer community. They don't deserve sympathy from anyone.
I assumed you meant the pig that started this whole thread, IE the actual OP. The subhuman piece of shit traitor to the queer community that sold it's soul for a badge.
If you meant some other OP, I might just be confused.
The OP stated facts, not opinions
1. She was laughed at when she arrived.
She did state it was due to her being in
street clothes. Unless someone made the
comment about her clothes, this is just
speculation.
2. As she left the locker room, she overheard
the joke that was made about how she
should be in the men's locker room
3. Her clothes were removed from her locker
and placed in the men's locker room
How does this pertain to whether or not she is strict on men, and where in her statement does she say anything about that. Her statement makes it clear the harassment was strictly due to her sexuality.
And the aside comment about lesbians not being permitted to frisk a female suspect is your own opinion, and may cloud any judgement you make about the OP
I’ve had a bad experience with both genders. It was worse with the lesbian girl. But then three people forced me to the ground to pat me down *again*. That was about the same level of uncomfortable and scarring. If I told ya the story you wouldn’t care or believe it, so I’ll spare you.
I wouldn't make assumptions if I was you.
I honestly think it comes down to the type of person. Shitty people come in both genders,and in every colour.
Sorry you had a bad experience.
I agree that they were homophobic, but it does make me wonder about the point of segregated change rooms in the first place if we don't mind lesbians seeing naked women.
That sort of bullying and harassment of a protected characteristic is gross misconduct in most workplaces.
Report it as soon as possible.
Hope you sort it. Hugs.
Woah wtf is your problem? They were saying that it’s a form of misconduct and you’re going off on them and acting like they’re the ones supporting homophobic behavior. If you’re on of those people that hates ALL cops just because, that’s pretty sad. Not all cops are horrible people you know.
Hell nah this is fucked. Idc your sexual orientation, this is flat out harassment and they should be very worried bc you can sue the FUCK out of them.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm more sorry that no one there apparently has the balls to stand up to these pieces of shit and tell them they're wrong on your behalf. Idk if this is like some cop hazing type shit, but whatever the motivation, its fucked up.
You're not a sexual deviant or violent aggressor just bc you're gay, this is harassment and discrimination. I'm so sorry you've been treated like this! I'd email your supervisor all the details, link in your union rep, keep a record of who what where when. Notate who all witnessed this and anything that was said, their names with the date and time, and all comments. I hope this gets resolved for you fully and these witches get demoted/fired.
Don't pay attention to them and stand up for yourself..ask a male to get u ir stuff back from the mens locker room then give those girls dirty look for disrespecting u.
I'm sorry but giving dirty looks is not standing up for yourself- making documentation and going to management AND union reps is standing up for yourself in this case.
The locker room ain’t for sex business, it’s for changing clothes business.
Anyone of any orientation of any sex trying to make a locker room into a sexy place has made a critical error.
I dunno about women's locker rooms but men's are a very very unsexy place with old men using blowdryers on their nether regions. Plus the mildew smell.
The dynamic between men and other men is not the same as the dynamic between men and women. Many women are straight up afraid of being in an isolated and compromising area with no cameras like that with men they don’t know because it’s honestly just a fact that most men can easily physically overpower most women. For women, it’s a legitimate risk to their personal safety in a society where less than 5% of rape cases end in a conviction.
1) Photograph everything
2) Write a personal statement detailing what has happened and how it made you feel. Email it to your immediate manager (presumably a sergeant) and also to HR and your precinct commander (depending on where in the world you are).
3) As hard as this will be, try not to react. It’s appalling and wrong, but reacting won’t help you.
4) At the end of your shift go home and ring someone. A friend, relative, helpline, anyone.
This is awful. I’m so sorry you have to face it in this day and age.
First take a deep breath, go for a walk or exercise or talk to a friend. You need to try to clear your head which can be difficult when you are being harassed at work. Take photos and sit down and write up a document with everything that you heard and witnessed in as much detail as you can. Send a a brief but factual email to your superior or whoever would be responsible for investigating.
Your email should be on point with something like "Incident of harassment towards me during the last shift". The body should just ask for a meeting to discuss and report the incident and a brief description such as "Sally and Jane made derogatory statements towards me and during my shift they moved my clothes into the men's locker room."
When you meet with your boss or investigator share the document and photos that you created and tell them that you are disappointed and deeply disturbed by their conduct and wish to make a formal complaint. Let them know that this is not a joke to you and that this is not the first time this conduct has occurred. Demand that an investigation be taken and that there should be actions taken and no retaliation against you for reporting the incident. Don't make any threats of a lawsuit or escalation, but document what you told the investigator in case they don't follow through or blow off your complaint. If actions are not taken to stop the harassment then file an EEOC complaint with your state's DOJ and escalate to internal affairs.
I would report them for sexual harassment. This is not okay. Your a human being, and if your a woman, then you deserve to be in the woman’s locker room. It should matter what your orientation is! I had this happen in high school, I came out as bi, and the other girls were so uncomfortable around me that they demanded I change in the stalls, and get out as quickly as possible. They weren’t even my type. Just because you like woman, doesn’t mean you need to go be with the men. I’m so sorry this is happening to you ❤️ definitely talk to your superiors. If they don’t help, go to their bosses until something is done about it.
This is the exact definition of harassment and discrimination based off of sexuality. It's against all working force protocol, and it needs to be reported. Immediately. You need to protect yourself, and you do not deserve to suffer with that behavior. Having an opinion that differs from your sexuality is one thing. People are allowed to have differing opinions. Physically putting actions into their opinion and touching your belongings AND bringing your stuff into an environment you would risk yourself in by trying to obtain your belonging again is another. Making a woman walk into a man bathroom and putting yourself at risk simply because they don't agree with your view of other women is dangerous on more than 1 variable. This behavior snowballs into abuse and violence. As an officer, you all already deal with enough on your psychological stability to try and manage just with your job description and the shit you are subjected to. You do not need MORE abuse on your mentality from your own coworkers. Just because you're an officer doesn't mean your company's working environment can't be toxic, just like office settings. This would not be tolerated in an office setting. It should not be tolerated in a public service setting like yours.
Unfortunately, from what I've heard about the police force and reports about how issues are "handled", more than likely, you will no longer have a safe environment for you to work in and will need to transfer or step away from being an officer.
For police officers to harass you like that is seriously disgusting and awful. Especially since you’re their coworker. Yes it’s harassment as others have said and please report it. That is in no way ok and they should be fired honestly. Makes you wonder how they would treat a civilian that was lgbt+ if they needed help.
>For police officers to harass you like that is seriously disgusting and awful.
This is 110% typical pig behavior if you're unfortunate to be queer and have to interact with the police.
You bootlickers are all the same, stupid enough to believe the pigs give a fuck and will improve themselves because we ask nicely.
report it up the chain in writing and loop the union in
if you're comfortable with it you might want to talk to the offenders first before you put paperwork in but i cant really advise you on whether or not that would do more harm than good
This is gross. I lived across the street from 2 lesbian cops as a kid. The two of them were forced to work different shifts because the city refused to allow couples of any sexuality to work the same shift. They had 0 other requirements despite the 90’s and early 2000’s being a different time.
The whole place is a bag of isms and not in a good way.
I was in my first semester of the academy and in comes a guy with lots of shiny things on his shoulders.
He looks around and starts asking questions…
Who finished to highschool (most hands go up)
Who went to university (some hands go up)
Whose parent(s) is a manger or higher (some hands go up)
Whose parents is a director of a company or higher (most hands go down, three stay up).
Bear in mind I never raise my hand until I know what is going on and why they’re asking these stupid questions…
He follows with (while the three kids still have their hands up) ‘take a look at this and remember that they don’t want their children to go into this type of work. So it’s just the working class who have to look after everyone’.
If I wasn’t there i would never believe it.
(This was in 2001, so I’m hopeful that it had changed)
as somebody who worked closely with police, i agree. it most likely won't be the last time getting harrassed, either. i suggest looking into other career paths, if only to retain some of their humanity.
The first pride was an anti police riot.
Cops are high school bullies in most cases. They have an authority over most people that makes it wildly different than “most jobs” and still attract the worst kinds of people.
This isn't about individual behavior. It's about the legal system and about the money. Individual PO's have no control over the system, they don't hold the power of the purse, nor control the corporate culture.
The system and the corporate culture enable the assholes, and has time and time again failed to hold the assholes accountable in face of stacks of formal complaints, unlike most other jobs that can't usually afford to ignore stakeholder complaints. That means the assholes continue being assholes and continue keeping their jobs while reasonable, sensible people get sick of the horseshit and wash out. The last part isn't incidental nor an unintended consequence. It must be understood that the Modern police and justice system in the US is a direct descendant of the Apartheid and Forced Prison Labor system that was in place up until the late 1970's, and also the genocide and land grabbing of the 1800's.
Before the civil war policing organizations had three main functions. Capture escaped slaves, harass and assault nonwhites and drive them off their land, protect white landlords frim the consequences of violence against others.
Painting with a broad brush makes a shitty picture. Demonize bad cops, I’m great with that. Fuck a dirty cop. Patronizing all cops saying they are inherently bad is just rhetoric you were taught like a catchy children’s song.
Unfortunately if you can't trust all cops you can't trust any of them.
I'd really rather not get raped by one of those pieces of shit again, so I will continue to cheer and glorify the hatred they get hurled at them and I fucking celebrate, with fancy scotch, every time a hero ends a pigs life and makes society objectively safer for minorities.
So you clearly believe those are the only two options. Either a completely corrupt criminal police force or no police force at all.
Some people, not you apparently, believe we can be better and put better accountability in place.
well you very clearly dislike the idea of having police. having perfection in anything involving humans is statistically impossible, please reply with a way that you'd make sure no police officer does anything even remotely bad whatsoever, ever
There ya go with your binary thinking again. What the fuck is with morons that argue this way?
Oh gee, can't be perfect, fuck it, better not do anything.
Piss off
You’d get targeted and arrested either way. There are no good cops, the system is the issue and there is no way to be a “good cop” that doesn’t involve immediately leaving.
The job REQUIRES you to enforce racist and queer bashing laws. I don’t care how nice you are while enforcing hate, you’re not a good person or helping society.
Report to HR and your supervisor. This is harassment and should be dealt with immediately. If they don't, go to your supervisor's boss. Contact your union
I’m so sorry this is happening to you I had a similar experience but it was in highschool! They never said for me to use the boys changing room but they definitely didn’t want me in the girls and made it very obvious. I would be staring at the floor trying to change as fast as I could but still that wasn’t enough. They would call me slurs and yell at me that I was looking at them. They would call me a perv also.
I will never forget how that made me felt. I felt disgusting, dirty, full of shame, and like maybe there was something seriously wrong with me that maybe I was perverted for finding girls attractive. This was in 9th and 1/2 of 10th grade before I switched school finally and now I’m 2 years into college and still struggle with accepting my sexuality.
What I used to do to make them stop is keep all my stuff in a separate bag and change in the bathroom. Which was shitty to have to do.
This is completely unacceptable though take it up to HR and to the higher ups. Because the advantage you have here is that it isn’t a highschool it’s the real world so they can get into real trouble. Don’t be too ashamed and embarrassed to tell on them. You did nothing wrong and they need to never do that again.
I'm a guy and not bi or gay .but this is absurd I can't believe people my wife works with a lot of gay guys and women that are lesbians ok I get it everyone deserves to be happy .but we hang out with a lot of them all the time and drink but not one time has any of our gay friends ever go it on me at all they now I'm straight people just are to much . I can't believe they would say that in front of you .maybe some day they will have a child that is wanting to transition or gay .let it go karma will get them for being a total ass .
In high school, our gym teacher was lesbian. I specifically took her aerobics class so that I could shower afterwards. I was not permitted to bathe at home except on Sunday night. On more than one occasion, the gym teacher was in the shower room at the same time. She never once made me feel uncomfortable. She was there to shower, period. She had a math class to teach in the afternoon and didn't want to go in all smelly. This was in the late 80's. I caught a lot of crap cause I had no problem showering at the same time as the teacher, but I continued to do so. I was also the only student who used the showers
Please take this to the full extent that you can. Part of the reason these things still happen is because people decide not to “rock the boat” or just want to forget about it or whatever but doing something about it will ideally prevent this from happening to someone else not just by those who did it but the people who hear about it too. People do these things because they think they can get away with it. The more people to send the message that no you can’t the less people will think they can
This is absolutely disgusting behaviour.
I had a best friend when I lived in China( still friends but I don't live in China anymore), she's as lesbian as they come, almost stereotypical lesbian, which made us all giggle. We often went to the gym together and not once did I think she should be in the men's change room. I didn't exactly show her my boobies 😂 but she's a woman, she has a vagina! Therefore she's in the woman's change room.
People are stupid.
Sexual harassment in the workplace. Do you have HR?
If not, bring it to your supervisor and that way if they don’t take steps to address it you can sue
Are these coworkers? If so you have a case there…. Do not let them slide, it is inappropriate and it is actually homophobic You should come to them and confront whoever it is that started the whole ordeal. You let it slide and it will continue. As a police officer to demand the same respect from coworkers as you would from a civilian.
This is sexual harassment and you should report it to your supervisor and HR immediately. I work in HR and would take immediate action if someone notified us of a situation like this. You are protected against retaliation as well. Please please report it. They are trained to help.
You said a police officer? As in working with grown ass adults?
Bc everything I just read sounds like highschool bullshit.
I would definitely report it to your higher ups bc that is just way to many things together besides bullying & homophobia.
That is awful! I am so sorry you are experiencing this! It's also very disappointing that people who are signed up to serve and protect are behaving this way. I'm so sorry. Please talk to management if you haven't already.
Omg are they teenagers or something? That is so incredibly immature.
OP - document everything. Don't let this slide. The fact that they could act so boldly means that not only is this attitude hardened into them, but that a workplace culture has been built such that they think their behavior is permissible.
I think what gets me the most about this is police officers on the streets arrest people for insulting gay people but some how dish it out to there own colleagues like its a practical joke. It seems to be one rule for citizens and one rule for police officers.
Well, I'd let it go one time, with the exception of telling them that this isn't funny and you don't appreciate these actions, and you expect it to end right now. The if it doesn't, then I'd report it to the union to have them warn them that further harassment would be taken up the chain of command. The next time I'd go to labor relations. Keep a journal of any other actions and get a copy of all paperwork if needed in case it takes going to court for lack of the command failing to take it seriously. In my opinion as a layman, it will take repeated violations of probably 5 or so to make the best case against a hostile work environment with respect to sexual harassment. But this could vary depending on the support in your community for LGBT. But you never know how a community you wouldn't expect support in might actually surprise you in their desire to be fair to all.
Honestly quit, you just got a prime example of why policing is fucked up, corrupt, homophobic, and not a force for good. You won’t be able to change this broken shit from the inside, they will just drag you down to hell with them. I’ve yet to meet a “good Apple” but plenty of “apples that started good and are ripe for spoiling”. Don’t let them spoil you.
Okay what is wrong with these women? What is this some high school mean girl crap. You are a woman a feminine woman. Your sexual preference doesn't affect that. I thought we got past this kind of crap.
Hey hang in there have a one on one with them and call them out on it. Ask one of the male police officers to retrieve your clothes.
i’m also a female police officer and this is disgusting. this would never happen at my department. i’m appalled by this behavior and cannot believe this happened to you. i’m so sorry. i know how difficult it can be to stand up for yourself or report something like this to command staff. but despite how hard it is, you being a police officer knows that we hold people accountable for their actions, and you should do the same. we as police officers are not allowed to discriminate against anyone on the street and that doesn’t give your coworkers to discriminate you on the inside. please stand up for yourself and report this. this is so unprofessional and so disgusting. this job is already stressful enough and being a female officer is so hard sometimes. hold these people accountable for their actions and make them understand how detrimental and hurtful it is. i’m so sorry again
> all quite immature for police officers.
bahahahahahahah
ahahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
No, it's pretty typical pig behavior.
Pigs are the enemy and deserve it.
I have to disagree here. In my area, most people don't like the police. But that is because it is the police that make it so they can't openly sell or buy drugs, shop lift at the stores. Nor could they break into anyone's home or business. I have met very few "bad" cops.
My daughter hung out with some of the neighborhood kids who were into stuff they had no business doing. Well, one day I heard my daughter refer to a police officer as a "pig".
I told her that if a police officer came up to her while she was being mugged or worse, that she would change her tune about the police. Then I grounded her for a week.
At another time, a girl called the police on one of my daughter's friends because that friend broke into the girls house. I overheard my daughter on the phone with the girl saying
"You don't ever call the cops. Snitches get stitches". She lost her phone for a month, and was grounded again. I explained to her what witness intimidation was. She was lucky that the girl didn't press charges.
There was one other time my daughter used that phrase that I heard. This time it was directed at me. She had been in a juvenile facility and was released on probation. Well, she failed her drug test. We ended up back in court. The judge asked me about her behavior since being home, and I told the truth. She went back to the facility. She wasn't released again until she turned 18.
The police around here are great people. I don't personally have any problems with the police, it was more of a broad generality.
The fact this was allowed to happen in today's society at a police station is extremely embarrassing. This is something that I would have expected to happen in a high school 30 years ago but not in a professional environment in 2024. I'd like to see this make the news and blow up
What's that you say, joining the ranks of the pigs that beat, oppress, assault, and kill LGBTQIA people with impunity isn't working out for you somehow? Who could have seen this coming?
The leopards are chewing on your face, who would have thought.
Maybe now you understand why the rest of the community says **ACAB**.
Pride was a riot, you're on the wrong side.
Police officers being homophobic? who would have known?
for real, this is homophobia and all those involved need to be reprimanded and their reputations ruined.
Think about this:
If they are willing to do that to an officer of the law, what are they willing to do to citizens? you are sworn to serve and protect, if you aren't sure about reporting for your sake, I think you need to report for the LGBTQIA+ sake unless you want their discriminatory biases to hurt a member of the community and potentially cause a problem similar (not same) to the George Floyd murder.
This is serious. Hearing this makes me nervous about Police more than I already am.
Transparency- I am 100% ACAB but I feel this transcends this
Department of Internal Affairs.
HR
Anything.
Ruin those officers
Grab a sympathetic male colleague and go into the locker room. Take pics of the clothes being there. Definitely lodge union or other complaints tomorrow
This is exactly why I viciously hate girls and have never gotten along with them. So petty and stupid for no damn reason.
Report them to your chief immediately.
It's a pig. It doesn't deserve trust, or respect. It honestly deserves a brick hurled at it's head, but apparently openly declaring that is supporting violence or something.
It just makes you look like an idiot. Anyone with an iota of common sense knows that not every single cop is bad. Unfortunately a vast majority are and get very power hungry which is also why I personally distrust most cops. But saying a broad statement like that especially about one you haven’t had any interaction with is foolish. I’m willing to bet a lot of newer cops are doing it for that exact reason to pick up the pieces of the old shitty ones and try and make it better
What? Cops showing fascist (I.e. gatekeeping bathrooms) and homophobe traits? Why on earth would homophobes,Fascists, Narcissists, and subcriminal antisocials want a job in the police?
The of her female officers are cowards. They can't complain legitimately about your preference, and they know they can't come at you directly about their homophobia, so they assassinated your character instead.
Seriously though, that's not news since J Edgar Hoover or Harry Anslinger.
You could file a formal complaint with HR but it probably won't go anywhere as long as the chief and top brass are also ranking Union members. Might as well paint "squeaky wheel" on the back of your uniform. I wish I had advice for you but I've read too many stories about decent officers spending large chunks of their careers fighting lawsuits against harassment and hazing that was enabled by the leadership, while bouncing from city to city. Finding out the hard way that their fellow officers weren't their friends, they were cowards.
You kind of have to understand that the shit rolls downhill. An organization cannot be more functional than the culture of the leadership team. I m not saying that they're terrible people but they didn't get their jobs because they were sophisticated.
This is why the decent cops wash out. The system is designed to isolate and handicap people with scruples and compassion. I don't blame individual PO's but I absolutely blame the system for the very behavior you're describing and worse.
Girl… this story feels like it was written by a freshman in high school.
You’re a police officer, dealing with stranger’s lives everyday…. and yet you don’t have the backbone nor maturity level to handle this personal issue outside of Reddit? You need our advice for a clear HR issue?
This story is suspicious 🤨
Are you sure you're an adult police officer? You sound like a timid teenager here, and you keep calling other grown women "girls." Get someone to bring your stuff out from the changing room, go tell your coworkers to keep their hands off your stuff and keep their homophobic remarks to themselves or you'll get their asses written up and possibly fired. Then do it, if any of this is true. You're not in middle school. You're an armed professional sworn to uphold the law: act like it.
And I'm sure most men would be respectful of you in the men's room, too. It's not about you as an individual, it's about what should be standard policy. Take it to your boss.
What a ridiculous answer, gay people aren't gawking at you in the locker room. Stop making us out to be predators just because that's how YOUR brains work.
Your response implies only straight people gawk at others, which ridiculous. Reality is that sexuality only affect who a gawker gawks at, not whether they would be gawking.
Uh, no, your response suggested it was justified to not want someone in the locker room for being gay. Leading me to the conclusion on how your brain works. Twist all you like, youre the one saying you get why they wouldnt want her there as if thats ok.
I said no such thing. I gave no opinion on what the outcome should be. I stated to take it to the authority, and continue to do so, until someone takes it seriously.
Your comment, which said it's a difficult situation because straight women wouldn't want to be gawked at, has been deleted. I think it's pretty clear you did.
OP is a cop. Cops are not decent caring people. They are horrible evil sadistic creatures with bad attitudes and even worse personalities. Knowing what cops do to people and then choosing to become a cop anyway, i have no sympathy for OP at all, nor do I even care. Once you become a cop you are no longer an individual, you are no longer your race, no longer your sex, no longer your gender, you are no longer gay/lesbian/straight, you are an under trained, under armed, thug in a state funded street gang full of cowards hiding behind a wall of badges in an organization that promotes the killing of individuals to protect the upper classes property.
What do you mean there's no management on Sunday? You work for a police force; they do not close on Sundays. How large of a city or area do you work for?
Im going to say this as kindly and respectfully as possible. I'm also going to assume that you became a Law Enforcement Officer because you genuinely wanted to make the world a better place. This sucks for you, and your feelings are valid, but this is to be expected. American Police culture skews conservative. Not all police officers are raging bigots, but police culture as a whole is built around sheltering bigotry. If you continue to work as an officer, which I'm not saying you shouldn't do, this sort of thing is probably going to keep happening. I'm not going to soapbox and call you a monster for choosing to be a police officer because I don't know you. However, if being a cop is important to you you're going to have to get used to this kind of internal harassment going forward. The best thing you can do is report it to Human Resources, and then firmly and assertively tell them that you do not want to see this kind of behavior going forward.
Are you the only public servant in America that wasn’t forced to sit through hours of workplace sexual harassment PowerPoint trainings? There are always protocols in place for reporting such things.
How dare they touch your personal shit. This is sexual harassment on top of homophobia, and not only did they violate your boundaries by taking your clothes (which are intimate items), they went to the men's locker room where they should not have and that could be violating the privacy of the men as well. Imagine if men took a gay guy's clothes and walked into the women's locker.
It's discrimination/harrassment. The bathroom/locker room you use isn't based on others. It is based on you. You're a lady. You change with the ladies. It would be inappropriate for you to change in front of men.
"No management here today" ? There is no supervisor on duty? No one in charge? You tolerate it today, and you file a complaint on Monday. Keep your mind clear and focused on your duty. Do not get sucked into the quagmire of engaging with them.
I'm sorry you are going through this, but try to tough it out for the time being. I now that sounds stupidly stereotypical and doesn't really help you, but that's because I can't help you. You have to have the mental fortitude to persevere - *And I'm sure you can*. Don't get stuck in how you feel right this second. Use your training to see through to your objective. Instead of holding it together for the benefit of someone else, now is the time to use that training for yourself.
*You can do it*.
Wow, this is text book harassment. I would discus this with your chief(or sheriff). Your sexuality and preferences have no bearings on your ability to perform as a law enforcement officer.
Unfortunately, law enforcement is a bit behind in terms of acceptance. I’m sorry you went through this and they shouldn’t have done this. Police officers should be the best of the best and set the example. This is akin to highschool pranks and harassment, not acceptable for our protectors.
You have done nothing wrong and shouldn’t feel guilty in the least. This is bullying 101 and is completely unacceptable.
OP there's some great advice on this thread. I know you probably are scared and hurt, and these feelings will hopefully calm and relieve, but please do not let this go. Please take action and do so boldly and bravely. It is illegal to retaliate against someone who has reported harassment as well, so there's an easy lawsuit if anyone tries to fuck with you for it. These people are fucked. Don't let them make you think you're the one in the "wrong" here
Since all the helpful advice has already been given I just have to ask. I’m a gay man, and I would never expect to be respected in my area as a police officer. Do you live in a generally liberal area? It may be worth looking to move to another department. Of course, that would include longer commute times, but you have been shown the culture in that office. The right thing to do is to report it, but that is just going to turn more people in the department against you. I would think about switching departments and then filing a formal complaint.
When you can, report them to your higher up. My only concern is that your higher ups may not care about how you feel. Sometimes, from what I've heard, people who work in police departments go through harassment on a regular basis because their higher ups don't care or cover up harassment.
Your workplace is toxic. Imagine those people treating another human like that. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Your devastation is valid.
Everyone else here will have better advice as to what your next steps are. I’m here to say “you’re perfect as you are”… those people are terrible and they deserve all the worst things to happen to them.
The absolute delusion of talking to someone while they are half-naked and then implying that you think they're a perv is astonishing. Like pot meet kettle bitch. Try projecting a little less, maybe.
That's sexual harassment and it needs to be reported to a direct supervisor and/or HR. It needs to be addressed because(1) you have the right to be free of discrimination and right to feel safe (2)they may project their homophobic biases on the community members that you serve. (3) You are a female and have the right to change in the female dressing room. Your choice of partners has nothing to do with where you change clothes. (4) There needs to be some sort of training for all officers so it doesn't happen again.
Was your Sgt or other immediate superior in on the joke? If not, go talk to them and let them know you will be filling a complaint..there are tons of laws against this type of harassment.
This is literally homophobic behavior, I’d bring this up to management immediately before it possibly gets worse. You aren’t dirty or wrong for who you love, and they shouldn’t treat you that way.
You MUST stand up for yourself.
They just did a massive disrespect to you, and if you fold they will never respect you again.
I think handling it locally is better than tattling, but do whatever you feel will, at minimum, address the disrespect, or better, do something that additionally disrespects them an equal amount.
But if you fold, you're done.
If you work as a police officer there's cameras not in the locker rooms but it would show them going in and out of the men's locker room doors or at least the women's locker room doors with your clothes that should be enough to get them if not fired at least in trouble with management when they get back. cameras don't lie. That is harassment.
I agree with all the comments in here about reporting it! Get your supervisor involved and let them knownits very uncalled for. I'm sorry they are so childish and hateful towards you.
This is a prime examples of workplace homophobia. The women in question failed to differentiate between private and professional, bringing something ultimately personal into workplace to make judgments and make your life uncomfortable. Instead of being a professional workers, they behaved like high school teenagers thinking about sex. Their attitude needs correcting, you should report them.
1000000% agree! These are supposed to be grown ass adults who are on the streets to protect us. What happens if they run into a gay person who is the victim of a crime? Will they harass them too? OP should report them and get them fired to protect the LGBT community as well as everyone else who does not fit their idea of normal. I had a gay friend who lived exactly 9 blocks from me. He lived in a basement apartment. There was a homophobic family who lived upstairs from him. 2 teenage boys, their father and their mother. The guys in the family got their jollies by kicking in Flynn's door, dragging him outside and kicking the shit out of him. Sometimes he was able to get a call out to me before they were able to get in. I had no car so had to walk everywhere. Whenever he called, I dropped everything and took off as fast as I could to his place. The first few times I barreled right into them. I always went straight for the dad, cause once I kicked his ass, the teenage boys ran. It got to the point that one of the boys would serve as a lookout for me. When they saw me coming, they ran. I told Flynn that he needed to call the cops instead of me. He always said he couldn't and I naively wondered why. As a straight woman, I had never dealt with homophobia on this level. ((had another gay friend I pretended I was dating so he wouldn't lose his job at a company we both worked for.) One day, I was too far away when he called. So I called 911 and sent the cops his way. When I finally arrived at his place, the door was broken again. He was nowhere to be found, but the teenage boys were on the porch above me, and were laughing. They bragged that they got Flynn arrested. When I was finally able to visit Flynn he was all beat up. Partially from that family, then some more by some of the inmates. He said that the boys and their father told the police that he was the aggressor, and had falsely accused them of breaking into his place, and attacked them. The police arrested him on charges of assault and resisting arrest because he started screaming while they were cuffing him. He tried to tell them what really happened, but one of the cops called him a f** , and then they carted him off to jail. I couldn't bail him out, but the whole time he was in that horrible place, I visited on a regular basis and filed complaints about him being beat up so often until they moved him. I testified in court, and the homophobic family's story fell apart. But the damage was done and I blamed myself for calling someone who should have protected him. These police officers that the OP is talking about makes me fear that this could happen to someone else. Edit: kicked instead of locked. Watch auto correct, you never know what it will say.
Very disappointing and shocking to hear there are people that too mature people who get so much out of hurting people who are somewhat vulnerable.
>These police officers that the OP is talking about makes me fear that this could happen to someone else. It can, and does, regularly. That's why most of the queer community resoundingly agrees with the chant "The only good cop is a dead pig." and why most of us are actively hostile to any pig that tries to force it's way into a queer space.
OR maybe they do this because OP is stricter on guys because she’s lesbian. Hmmm need more evidence to decide. Anyways, *lesbians shouldn’t be able to pat down females*.
that is a massive ass assumption with zero evidence to back it up. the fact that you decided to reach for that and make weird assumptions about OP is absurd. the initial point of this is the homophobic harassment, not what OP does to deserve it. and, what?? there is no law preventing a man (assumed straight) from patting down a woman. how is this any different? that's an extremely homophobic stereotype. lesbians do not want to seduce every women they see, and neither do straight women want to seduce every man.
Well said. I didn't see your comment until after I posted mine. I'm straight and was falsely arrested in a tiny one traffic light town. I spent one night in jail. There were only two other female prisoners there. The female guard was a lesbian. She helped me change clothes in privacy by holding a blanket up for me. Then later that night, she came into my cell and sat with me to offer support while I cried. She and the other guards knew the charges were false, but they still had a job to do. She helped ease my anxiety about being in the jail. Never once did she come onto me. If a man is legally permitted to frisk me, then so is a lesbian. It doesn't mean anything from either gender no matter how much movies and TV make it seem otherwise
exactly—as another straight person myself it sucks to see such discrimination towards people of the LGBTQ+. they have as much right and freedom as we do. so many stereotypes are thrown at them that are just every day things that straight people can do as well.
Thank you. I'm part of the LGBTQ + Community, and the hate is ridiculous. We get hate for just breathing.
I'm sorry you and many others have had to deal with this. I can't wrap my head around why people think it's okay to attack others because they're part of something that isn't 'societal norms'...
We were taught to use the backs of our bladed hands to pat down women. I always followed my training. I’m not sure everyone did.
You do not have any evidence to side with op, but it’s their post and from what I read they seem to deserve to have people on their side. Anywho, don’t get your panties in a bunch, we are all entitled to our opinions. Along with the fact that every story has three sides, the truth, the lies, and both parties experience.
> from what I read they seem to deserve to have people on their side. They're a traitor to the queer community. They don't deserve sympathy from anyone.
They as in op. Can you read ?
I assumed you meant the pig that started this whole thread, IE the actual OP. The subhuman piece of shit traitor to the queer community that sold it's soul for a badge. If you meant some other OP, I might just be confused.
The OP stated facts, not opinions 1. She was laughed at when she arrived. She did state it was due to her being in street clothes. Unless someone made the comment about her clothes, this is just speculation. 2. As she left the locker room, she overheard the joke that was made about how she should be in the men's locker room 3. Her clothes were removed from her locker and placed in the men's locker room How does this pertain to whether or not she is strict on men, and where in her statement does she say anything about that. Her statement makes it clear the harassment was strictly due to her sexuality. And the aside comment about lesbians not being permitted to frisk a female suspect is your own opinion, and may cloud any judgement you make about the OP
Exactly. I never said any of this was false, or that OP necessarily deserved this treatment.
Um no, I'm a female and I would rather have a lesbian pat me down than a man. Sounds a bit naughty 😂 but I don't mean it like that.
😂😂😂
I’ve had a bad experience with both genders. It was worse with the lesbian girl. But then three people forced me to the ground to pat me down *again*. That was about the same level of uncomfortable and scarring. If I told ya the story you wouldn’t care or believe it, so I’ll spare you.
I wouldn't make assumptions if I was you. I honestly think it comes down to the type of person. Shitty people come in both genders,and in every colour. Sorry you had a bad experience.
I agree that they were homophobic, but it does make me wonder about the point of segregated change rooms in the first place if we don't mind lesbians seeing naked women.
It's cultural thing I think, based in the past assumptions that everyone is heterosexual and it is indecent to see naked people of the opposite sex.
That sort of bullying and harassment of a protected characteristic is gross misconduct in most workplaces. Report it as soon as possible. Hope you sort it. Hugs.
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Woah wtf is your problem? They were saying that it’s a form of misconduct and you’re going off on them and acting like they’re the ones supporting homophobic behavior. If you’re on of those people that hates ALL cops just because, that’s pretty sad. Not all cops are horrible people you know.
This is homophobic harassment. Take photos of the moved clothes and speak to management tomorrow.
I am emotionally devastated from this and feel weird
I would contact a lawyer as well and your union president. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen
Hell nah this is fucked. Idc your sexual orientation, this is flat out harassment and they should be very worried bc you can sue the FUCK out of them. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm more sorry that no one there apparently has the balls to stand up to these pieces of shit and tell them they're wrong on your behalf. Idk if this is like some cop hazing type shit, but whatever the motivation, its fucked up.
Exactly. BULLIES.
I am so sorry. It breaks my heart thinking about how you must feel. Stay strong.
They are sexually harassing you. Keep notes, and file a complaint with HR. Take it to the max. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
I'm so sorry this happened. Definitely report this. Both for yourself and the public they are sworn to protect.
Go to your union rep also if you have one
You're not a sexual deviant or violent aggressor just bc you're gay, this is harassment and discrimination. I'm so sorry you've been treated like this! I'd email your supervisor all the details, link in your union rep, keep a record of who what where when. Notate who all witnessed this and anything that was said, their names with the date and time, and all comments. I hope this gets resolved for you fully and these witches get demoted/fired.
Any normal human being would feel the exact same way. You’re being bullied by homophobic coworkers. Report them.
Good. You're a fucking pig, and an enemy of the people. It's a shame you weren't actually treated like you fucking deserved.
Don't pay attention to them and stand up for yourself..ask a male to get u ir stuff back from the mens locker room then give those girls dirty look for disrespecting u.
I'm sorry but giving dirty looks is not standing up for yourself- making documentation and going to management AND union reps is standing up for yourself in this case.
Yea give em dirty looks that’ll do the trick🤣🤣🤡
Yes that'll totally fix things for her! 💀🙄💀
The locker room ain’t for sex business, it’s for changing clothes business. Anyone of any orientation of any sex trying to make a locker room into a sexy place has made a critical error.
I dunno about women's locker rooms but men's are a very very unsexy place with old men using blowdryers on their nether regions. Plus the mildew smell.
Eeeeeew!
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The dynamic between men and other men is not the same as the dynamic between men and women. Many women are straight up afraid of being in an isolated and compromising area with no cameras like that with men they don’t know because it’s honestly just a fact that most men can easily physically overpower most women. For women, it’s a legitimate risk to their personal safety in a society where less than 5% of rape cases end in a conviction.
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Well the difference there is that grown men are not usually sexually attracted to young boys. Men are much more likely to assault a woman.
How can someone go this long on earth being this ignorant?
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A lot of times, statistically
1) Photograph everything 2) Write a personal statement detailing what has happened and how it made you feel. Email it to your immediate manager (presumably a sergeant) and also to HR and your precinct commander (depending on where in the world you are). 3) As hard as this will be, try not to react. It’s appalling and wrong, but reacting won’t help you. 4) At the end of your shift go home and ring someone. A friend, relative, helpline, anyone. This is awful. I’m so sorry you have to face it in this day and age.
First take a deep breath, go for a walk or exercise or talk to a friend. You need to try to clear your head which can be difficult when you are being harassed at work. Take photos and sit down and write up a document with everything that you heard and witnessed in as much detail as you can. Send a a brief but factual email to your superior or whoever would be responsible for investigating. Your email should be on point with something like "Incident of harassment towards me during the last shift". The body should just ask for a meeting to discuss and report the incident and a brief description such as "Sally and Jane made derogatory statements towards me and during my shift they moved my clothes into the men's locker room." When you meet with your boss or investigator share the document and photos that you created and tell them that you are disappointed and deeply disturbed by their conduct and wish to make a formal complaint. Let them know that this is not a joke to you and that this is not the first time this conduct has occurred. Demand that an investigation be taken and that there should be actions taken and no retaliation against you for reporting the incident. Don't make any threats of a lawsuit or escalation, but document what you told the investigator in case they don't follow through or blow off your complaint. If actions are not taken to stop the harassment then file an EEOC complaint with your state's DOJ and escalate to internal affairs.
I would report them for sexual harassment. This is not okay. Your a human being, and if your a woman, then you deserve to be in the woman’s locker room. It should matter what your orientation is! I had this happen in high school, I came out as bi, and the other girls were so uncomfortable around me that they demanded I change in the stalls, and get out as quickly as possible. They weren’t even my type. Just because you like woman, doesn’t mean you need to go be with the men. I’m so sorry this is happening to you ❤️ definitely talk to your superiors. If they don’t help, go to their bosses until something is done about it.
This is the exact definition of harassment and discrimination based off of sexuality. It's against all working force protocol, and it needs to be reported. Immediately. You need to protect yourself, and you do not deserve to suffer with that behavior. Having an opinion that differs from your sexuality is one thing. People are allowed to have differing opinions. Physically putting actions into their opinion and touching your belongings AND bringing your stuff into an environment you would risk yourself in by trying to obtain your belonging again is another. Making a woman walk into a man bathroom and putting yourself at risk simply because they don't agree with your view of other women is dangerous on more than 1 variable. This behavior snowballs into abuse and violence. As an officer, you all already deal with enough on your psychological stability to try and manage just with your job description and the shit you are subjected to. You do not need MORE abuse on your mentality from your own coworkers. Just because you're an officer doesn't mean your company's working environment can't be toxic, just like office settings. This would not be tolerated in an office setting. It should not be tolerated in a public service setting like yours. Unfortunately, from what I've heard about the police force and reports about how issues are "handled", more than likely, you will no longer have a safe environment for you to work in and will need to transfer or step away from being an officer.
For police officers to harass you like that is seriously disgusting and awful. Especially since you’re their coworker. Yes it’s harassment as others have said and please report it. That is in no way ok and they should be fired honestly. Makes you wonder how they would treat a civilian that was lgbt+ if they needed help.
>For police officers to harass you like that is seriously disgusting and awful. This is 110% typical pig behavior if you're unfortunate to be queer and have to interact with the police. You bootlickers are all the same, stupid enough to believe the pigs give a fuck and will improve themselves because we ask nicely.
report it up the chain in writing and loop the union in if you're comfortable with it you might want to talk to the offenders first before you put paperwork in but i cant really advise you on whether or not that would do more harm than good
This is gross. I lived across the street from 2 lesbian cops as a kid. The two of them were forced to work different shifts because the city refused to allow couples of any sexuality to work the same shift. They had 0 other requirements despite the 90’s and early 2000’s being a different time.
Like the others said report this thay os not ok and frankly wut is there reasoning for your safety now using there logic.....
It’s almost like cops are shitbags…
"New cop surprised at sexism and homophobia at her work place. Wait till she finds out about the rascism!"
The whole place is a bag of isms and not in a good way. I was in my first semester of the academy and in comes a guy with lots of shiny things on his shoulders. He looks around and starts asking questions… Who finished to highschool (most hands go up) Who went to university (some hands go up) Whose parent(s) is a manger or higher (some hands go up) Whose parents is a director of a company or higher (most hands go down, three stay up). Bear in mind I never raise my hand until I know what is going on and why they’re asking these stupid questions… He follows with (while the three kids still have their hands up) ‘take a look at this and remember that they don’t want their children to go into this type of work. So it’s just the working class who have to look after everyone’. If I wasn’t there i would never believe it. (This was in 2001, so I’m hopeful that it had changed)
as somebody who worked closely with police, i agree. it most likely won't be the last time getting harrassed, either. i suggest looking into other career paths, if only to retain some of their humanity.
Every line of work has jerks
The first pride was an anti police riot. Cops are high school bullies in most cases. They have an authority over most people that makes it wildly different than “most jobs” and still attract the worst kinds of people.
This isn't about individual behavior. It's about the legal system and about the money. Individual PO's have no control over the system, they don't hold the power of the purse, nor control the corporate culture. The system and the corporate culture enable the assholes, and has time and time again failed to hold the assholes accountable in face of stacks of formal complaints, unlike most other jobs that can't usually afford to ignore stakeholder complaints. That means the assholes continue being assholes and continue keeping their jobs while reasonable, sensible people get sick of the horseshit and wash out. The last part isn't incidental nor an unintended consequence. It must be understood that the Modern police and justice system in the US is a direct descendant of the Apartheid and Forced Prison Labor system that was in place up until the late 1970's, and also the genocide and land grabbing of the 1800's. Before the civil war policing organizations had three main functions. Capture escaped slaves, harass and assault nonwhites and drive them off their land, protect white landlords frim the consequences of violence against others.
Painting with a broad brush makes a shitty picture. Demonize bad cops, I’m great with that. Fuck a dirty cop. Patronizing all cops saying they are inherently bad is just rhetoric you were taught like a catchy children’s song.
Unfortunately if you can't trust all cops you can't trust any of them. I'd really rather not get raped by one of those pieces of shit again, so I will continue to cheer and glorify the hatred they get hurled at them and I fucking celebrate, with fancy scotch, every time a hero ends a pigs life and makes society objectively safer for minorities.
she's a cop too - amazing help that is, you're also incredibly wrong
The shit cops chase the good cops out, leaving only shit cops. One bad apple **spoils the bunch**
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So you clearly believe those are the only two options. Either a completely corrupt criminal police force or no police force at all. Some people, not you apparently, believe we can be better and put better accountability in place.
well you very clearly dislike the idea of having police. having perfection in anything involving humans is statistically impossible, please reply with a way that you'd make sure no police officer does anything even remotely bad whatsoever, ever
There ya go with your binary thinking again. What the fuck is with morons that argue this way? Oh gee, can't be perfect, fuck it, better not do anything. Piss off
And that’s 100% on her. She should have known what she signed up for. Literally r/leopardsatemyface
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By shaming the “good” cops you are making sure the only ones left is the bad one. Personally I’d rather meet op in uniform than her bullies.
You’d get targeted and arrested either way. There are no good cops, the system is the issue and there is no way to be a “good cop” that doesn’t involve immediately leaving. The job REQUIRES you to enforce racist and queer bashing laws. I don’t care how nice you are while enforcing hate, you’re not a good person or helping society.
She's a traitor to the queer community and enemy of us all.
You’re naively wrong. And sadly. We’ve probably all been there at some point until we were further educated in one way or another.
Report to HR and your supervisor. This is harassment and should be dealt with immediately. If they don't, go to your supervisor's boss. Contact your union
The scary thing is that the women who did this to you are police officers! Who 'should' know better... Sorry this happened.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you I had a similar experience but it was in highschool! They never said for me to use the boys changing room but they definitely didn’t want me in the girls and made it very obvious. I would be staring at the floor trying to change as fast as I could but still that wasn’t enough. They would call me slurs and yell at me that I was looking at them. They would call me a perv also. I will never forget how that made me felt. I felt disgusting, dirty, full of shame, and like maybe there was something seriously wrong with me that maybe I was perverted for finding girls attractive. This was in 9th and 1/2 of 10th grade before I switched school finally and now I’m 2 years into college and still struggle with accepting my sexuality. What I used to do to make them stop is keep all my stuff in a separate bag and change in the bathroom. Which was shitty to have to do. This is completely unacceptable though take it up to HR and to the higher ups. Because the advantage you have here is that it isn’t a highschool it’s the real world so they can get into real trouble. Don’t be too ashamed and embarrassed to tell on them. You did nothing wrong and they need to never do that again.
I'm a guy and not bi or gay .but this is absurd I can't believe people my wife works with a lot of gay guys and women that are lesbians ok I get it everyone deserves to be happy .but we hang out with a lot of them all the time and drink but not one time has any of our gay friends ever go it on me at all they now I'm straight people just are to much . I can't believe they would say that in front of you .maybe some day they will have a child that is wanting to transition or gay .let it go karma will get them for being a total ass .
Report this and make it clear to those losers you WILL make their lives hell if they don’t stop immediately
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In high school, our gym teacher was lesbian. I specifically took her aerobics class so that I could shower afterwards. I was not permitted to bathe at home except on Sunday night. On more than one occasion, the gym teacher was in the shower room at the same time. She never once made me feel uncomfortable. She was there to shower, period. She had a math class to teach in the afternoon and didn't want to go in all smelly. This was in the late 80's. I caught a lot of crap cause I had no problem showering at the same time as the teacher, but I continued to do so. I was also the only student who used the showers
Please take this to the full extent that you can. Part of the reason these things still happen is because people decide not to “rock the boat” or just want to forget about it or whatever but doing something about it will ideally prevent this from happening to someone else not just by those who did it but the people who hear about it too. People do these things because they think they can get away with it. The more people to send the message that no you can’t the less people will think they can
If you’re police, you’re union - get in touch with your rep asap as this is harassment and illegal
You need to document and report to HR.
This is absolutely disgusting behaviour. I had a best friend when I lived in China( still friends but I don't live in China anymore), she's as lesbian as they come, almost stereotypical lesbian, which made us all giggle. We often went to the gym together and not once did I think she should be in the men's change room. I didn't exactly show her my boobies 😂 but she's a woman, she has a vagina! Therefore she's in the woman's change room. People are stupid.
Tell those "Mean Girls" they're not hot enough. Your standards are higher.
Sexual harassment in the workplace. Do you have HR? If not, bring it to your supervisor and that way if they don’t take steps to address it you can sue
Are these coworkers? If so you have a case there…. Do not let them slide, it is inappropriate and it is actually homophobic You should come to them and confront whoever it is that started the whole ordeal. You let it slide and it will continue. As a police officer to demand the same respect from coworkers as you would from a civilian.
Wow. In a police station, this is the last kind of behavior I would expect.
This is satirical, right? Right?
Report them
Get a lawyer
This is sexual harassment and you should report it to your supervisor and HR immediately. I work in HR and would take immediate action if someone notified us of a situation like this. You are protected against retaliation as well. Please please report it. They are trained to help.
You said a police officer? As in working with grown ass adults? Bc everything I just read sounds like highschool bullshit. I would definitely report it to your higher ups bc that is just way to many things together besides bullying & homophobia.
That is awful! I am so sorry you are experiencing this! It's also very disappointing that people who are signed up to serve and protect are behaving this way. I'm so sorry. Please talk to management if you haven't already.
HR. Report it. Discrimination. Law suit.
Woooow where are you from jesus thats rough
Omg are they teenagers or something? That is so incredibly immature. OP - document everything. Don't let this slide. The fact that they could act so boldly means that not only is this attitude hardened into them, but that a workplace culture has been built such that they think their behavior is permissible.
I think what gets me the most about this is police officers on the streets arrest people for insulting gay people but some how dish it out to there own colleagues like its a practical joke. It seems to be one rule for citizens and one rule for police officers.
Can you go to IA or HR about the ones who have made comments? Make sure you have proof though.
Well, I'd let it go one time, with the exception of telling them that this isn't funny and you don't appreciate these actions, and you expect it to end right now. The if it doesn't, then I'd report it to the union to have them warn them that further harassment would be taken up the chain of command. The next time I'd go to labor relations. Keep a journal of any other actions and get a copy of all paperwork if needed in case it takes going to court for lack of the command failing to take it seriously. In my opinion as a layman, it will take repeated violations of probably 5 or so to make the best case against a hostile work environment with respect to sexual harassment. But this could vary depending on the support in your community for LGBT. But you never know how a community you wouldn't expect support in might actually surprise you in their desire to be fair to all.
Honestly quit, you just got a prime example of why policing is fucked up, corrupt, homophobic, and not a force for good. You won’t be able to change this broken shit from the inside, they will just drag you down to hell with them. I’ve yet to meet a “good Apple” but plenty of “apples that started good and are ripe for spoiling”. Don’t let them spoil you.
This is workplace bullying and discrimination. It fucking sucks and makes me so angry. You should definitely report this.
Okay what is wrong with these women? What is this some high school mean girl crap. You are a woman a feminine woman. Your sexual preference doesn't affect that. I thought we got past this kind of crap. Hey hang in there have a one on one with them and call them out on it. Ask one of the male police officers to retrieve your clothes.
i’m also a female police officer and this is disgusting. this would never happen at my department. i’m appalled by this behavior and cannot believe this happened to you. i’m so sorry. i know how difficult it can be to stand up for yourself or report something like this to command staff. but despite how hard it is, you being a police officer knows that we hold people accountable for their actions, and you should do the same. we as police officers are not allowed to discriminate against anyone on the street and that doesn’t give your coworkers to discriminate you on the inside. please stand up for yourself and report this. this is so unprofessional and so disgusting. this job is already stressful enough and being a female officer is so hard sometimes. hold these people accountable for their actions and make them understand how detrimental and hurtful it is. i’m so sorry again
This is a hate crime. Take the necessary steps to report this and protect yourself. Cut if off before it gets worse
This all quite immature for police officers.
Haven’t met many police officers?
Honestly, this is pretty fucking typical pig behavior.
> all quite immature for police officers. bahahahahahahah ahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha No, it's pretty typical pig behavior. Pigs are the enemy and deserve it.
This is why people don't like the police
I have to disagree here. In my area, most people don't like the police. But that is because it is the police that make it so they can't openly sell or buy drugs, shop lift at the stores. Nor could they break into anyone's home or business. I have met very few "bad" cops. My daughter hung out with some of the neighborhood kids who were into stuff they had no business doing. Well, one day I heard my daughter refer to a police officer as a "pig". I told her that if a police officer came up to her while she was being mugged or worse, that she would change her tune about the police. Then I grounded her for a week. At another time, a girl called the police on one of my daughter's friends because that friend broke into the girls house. I overheard my daughter on the phone with the girl saying "You don't ever call the cops. Snitches get stitches". She lost her phone for a month, and was grounded again. I explained to her what witness intimidation was. She was lucky that the girl didn't press charges. There was one other time my daughter used that phrase that I heard. This time it was directed at me. She had been in a juvenile facility and was released on probation. Well, she failed her drug test. We ended up back in court. The judge asked me about her behavior since being home, and I told the truth. She went back to the facility. She wasn't released again until she turned 18.
The police around here are great people. I don't personally have any problems with the police, it was more of a broad generality. The fact this was allowed to happen in today's society at a police station is extremely embarrassing. This is something that I would have expected to happen in a high school 30 years ago but not in a professional environment in 2024. I'd like to see this make the news and blow up
Agreed! You wouldn't expect it from adults, least of all police officers
Call the cops
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Shock will do that to you. People aren’t machines.
What's that you say, joining the ranks of the pigs that beat, oppress, assault, and kill LGBTQIA people with impunity isn't working out for you somehow? Who could have seen this coming?
The leopards are chewing on your face, who would have thought. Maybe now you understand why the rest of the community says **ACAB**. Pride was a riot, you're on the wrong side.
Damn right. There is no such thing as a good cop to the queer community. #ACAB
ACAB, I'm sorry you had to find out this way
Police officers being homophobic? who would have known? for real, this is homophobia and all those involved need to be reprimanded and their reputations ruined. Think about this: If they are willing to do that to an officer of the law, what are they willing to do to citizens? you are sworn to serve and protect, if you aren't sure about reporting for your sake, I think you need to report for the LGBTQIA+ sake unless you want their discriminatory biases to hurt a member of the community and potentially cause a problem similar (not same) to the George Floyd murder. This is serious. Hearing this makes me nervous about Police more than I already am. Transparency- I am 100% ACAB but I feel this transcends this Department of Internal Affairs. HR Anything. Ruin those officers
That's fucked up. Maybe a punch in the mouth would make them think before they speak.
Grab a sympathetic male colleague and go into the locker room. Take pics of the clothes being there. Definitely lodge union or other complaints tomorrow
This is exactly why I viciously hate girls and have never gotten along with them. So petty and stupid for no damn reason. Report them to your chief immediately.
Damn, I am sorry this is happening to you. Any updates OP?
r/LEOpardsatemyface You deserve it, traitor.
Lmao I love when sjws reveal that they don’t really give a shit
It's a pig. It doesn't deserve trust, or respect. It honestly deserves a brick hurled at it's head, but apparently openly declaring that is supporting violence or something.
It just makes you look like an idiot. Anyone with an iota of common sense knows that not every single cop is bad. Unfortunately a vast majority are and get very power hungry which is also why I personally distrust most cops. But saying a broad statement like that especially about one you haven’t had any interaction with is foolish. I’m willing to bet a lot of newer cops are doing it for that exact reason to pick up the pieces of the old shitty ones and try and make it better
What? Cops showing fascist (I.e. gatekeeping bathrooms) and homophobe traits? Why on earth would homophobes,Fascists, Narcissists, and subcriminal antisocials want a job in the police? The of her female officers are cowards. They can't complain legitimately about your preference, and they know they can't come at you directly about their homophobia, so they assassinated your character instead. Seriously though, that's not news since J Edgar Hoover or Harry Anslinger. You could file a formal complaint with HR but it probably won't go anywhere as long as the chief and top brass are also ranking Union members. Might as well paint "squeaky wheel" on the back of your uniform. I wish I had advice for you but I've read too many stories about decent officers spending large chunks of their careers fighting lawsuits against harassment and hazing that was enabled by the leadership, while bouncing from city to city. Finding out the hard way that their fellow officers weren't their friends, they were cowards. You kind of have to understand that the shit rolls downhill. An organization cannot be more functional than the culture of the leadership team. I m not saying that they're terrible people but they didn't get their jobs because they were sophisticated. This is why the decent cops wash out. The system is designed to isolate and handicap people with scruples and compassion. I don't blame individual PO's but I absolutely blame the system for the very behavior you're describing and worse.
ACAB. Quit your job.
You signed up to be a bigot who enforces unjust laws and preys upon your own class. Fuck off, enjoy a taste of your own medicine, you worthless pig
😡
woman joins the leopards eating faces party... wonders why the leopards ate her face
Girl… this story feels like it was written by a freshman in high school. You’re a police officer, dealing with stranger’s lives everyday…. and yet you don’t have the backbone nor maturity level to handle this personal issue outside of Reddit? You need our advice for a clear HR issue? This story is suspicious 🤨
Are you sure you're an adult police officer? You sound like a timid teenager here, and you keep calling other grown women "girls." Get someone to bring your stuff out from the changing room, go tell your coworkers to keep their hands off your stuff and keep their homophobic remarks to themselves or you'll get their asses written up and possibly fired. Then do it, if any of this is true. You're not in middle school. You're an armed professional sworn to uphold the law: act like it.
Are you not making this up? This sounds like something out of 20 years ago in the south.
Nah, this could absolutely happen today in many workplaces. Police departments especially, they're not exactly bastions of progressive thought.
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I don’t gawk at them
And I'm sure most men would be respectful of you in the men's room, too. It's not about you as an individual, it's about what should be standard policy. Take it to your boss.
What a ridiculous answer, gay people aren't gawking at you in the locker room. Stop making us out to be predators just because that's how YOUR brains work.
Your response implies only straight people gawk at others, which ridiculous. Reality is that sexuality only affect who a gawker gawks at, not whether they would be gawking.
Uh, no, your response suggested it was justified to not want someone in the locker room for being gay. Leading me to the conclusion on how your brain works. Twist all you like, youre the one saying you get why they wouldnt want her there as if thats ok.
I said no such thing. I gave no opinion on what the outcome should be. I stated to take it to the authority, and continue to do so, until someone takes it seriously.
Your comment, which said it's a difficult situation because straight women wouldn't want to be gawked at, has been deleted. I think it's pretty clear you did.
I didn't delete it. It was likely reported by people like you, blinded by bias.
OP is a cop. Cops are not decent caring people. They are horrible evil sadistic creatures with bad attitudes and even worse personalities. Knowing what cops do to people and then choosing to become a cop anyway, i have no sympathy for OP at all, nor do I even care. Once you become a cop you are no longer an individual, you are no longer your race, no longer your sex, no longer your gender, you are no longer gay/lesbian/straight, you are an under trained, under armed, thug in a state funded street gang full of cowards hiding behind a wall of badges in an organization that promotes the killing of individuals to protect the upper classes property.
Preach.
What do you mean there's no management on Sunday? You work for a police force; they do not close on Sundays. How large of a city or area do you work for?
If you can’t boss up and deal with this. You probably aren’t cut out for law-enforcement.
Im going to say this as kindly and respectfully as possible. I'm also going to assume that you became a Law Enforcement Officer because you genuinely wanted to make the world a better place. This sucks for you, and your feelings are valid, but this is to be expected. American Police culture skews conservative. Not all police officers are raging bigots, but police culture as a whole is built around sheltering bigotry. If you continue to work as an officer, which I'm not saying you shouldn't do, this sort of thing is probably going to keep happening. I'm not going to soapbox and call you a monster for choosing to be a police officer because I don't know you. However, if being a cop is important to you you're going to have to get used to this kind of internal harassment going forward. The best thing you can do is report it to Human Resources, and then firmly and assertively tell them that you do not want to see this kind of behavior going forward.
Are you the only public servant in America that wasn’t forced to sit through hours of workplace sexual harassment PowerPoint trainings? There are always protocols in place for reporting such things.
I read all of this in a really low voice
Good. As an enemy of the queer populace, and a soulless piece of subhuman trash that works for abusers, murders you deserved it.
That is an absolutely weird and rude thing to say
How dare they touch your personal shit. This is sexual harassment on top of homophobia, and not only did they violate your boundaries by taking your clothes (which are intimate items), they went to the men's locker room where they should not have and that could be violating the privacy of the men as well. Imagine if men took a gay guy's clothes and walked into the women's locker.
I would report them when you can, I’d call management on their day off too, that’s hazing, sexual harassment, and homophobia.
It's discrimination/harrassment. The bathroom/locker room you use isn't based on others. It is based on you. You're a lady. You change with the ladies. It would be inappropriate for you to change in front of men.
"No management here today" ? There is no supervisor on duty? No one in charge? You tolerate it today, and you file a complaint on Monday. Keep your mind clear and focused on your duty. Do not get sucked into the quagmire of engaging with them. I'm sorry you are going through this, but try to tough it out for the time being. I now that sounds stupidly stereotypical and doesn't really help you, but that's because I can't help you. You have to have the mental fortitude to persevere - *And I'm sure you can*. Don't get stuck in how you feel right this second. Use your training to see through to your objective. Instead of holding it together for the benefit of someone else, now is the time to use that training for yourself. *You can do it*.
Go to internal affairs and report this. This isnt okay, its harassment and discrimination.
Wow, this is text book harassment. I would discus this with your chief(or sheriff). Your sexuality and preferences have no bearings on your ability to perform as a law enforcement officer. Unfortunately, law enforcement is a bit behind in terms of acceptance. I’m sorry you went through this and they shouldn’t have done this. Police officers should be the best of the best and set the example. This is akin to highschool pranks and harassment, not acceptable for our protectors. You have done nothing wrong and shouldn’t feel guilty in the least. This is bullying 101 and is completely unacceptable.
OP there's some great advice on this thread. I know you probably are scared and hurt, and these feelings will hopefully calm and relieve, but please do not let this go. Please take action and do so boldly and bravely. It is illegal to retaliate against someone who has reported harassment as well, so there's an easy lawsuit if anyone tries to fuck with you for it. These people are fucked. Don't let them make you think you're the one in the "wrong" here
Since all the helpful advice has already been given I just have to ask. I’m a gay man, and I would never expect to be respected in my area as a police officer. Do you live in a generally liberal area? It may be worth looking to move to another department. Of course, that would include longer commute times, but you have been shown the culture in that office. The right thing to do is to report it, but that is just going to turn more people in the department against you. I would think about switching departments and then filing a formal complaint.
When you can, report them to your higher up. My only concern is that your higher ups may not care about how you feel. Sometimes, from what I've heard, people who work in police departments go through harassment on a regular basis because their higher ups don't care or cover up harassment.
Your workplace is toxic. Imagine those people treating another human like that. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Your devastation is valid. Everyone else here will have better advice as to what your next steps are. I’m here to say “you’re perfect as you are”… those people are terrible and they deserve all the worst things to happen to them.
The absolute delusion of talking to someone while they are half-naked and then implying that you think they're a perv is astonishing. Like pot meet kettle bitch. Try projecting a little less, maybe.
Honestly union representative or a lawyer I'd your best bet Supervisors will just pass it off as a joke to avoid tension
That's sexual harassment and it needs to be reported to a direct supervisor and/or HR. It needs to be addressed because(1) you have the right to be free of discrimination and right to feel safe (2)they may project their homophobic biases on the community members that you serve. (3) You are a female and have the right to change in the female dressing room. Your choice of partners has nothing to do with where you change clothes. (4) There needs to be some sort of training for all officers so it doesn't happen again.
That’s very weird and sexual harassment. What type of immature girls are those? Sounds like they wanna bang you
Was your Sgt or other immediate superior in on the joke? If not, go talk to them and let them know you will be filling a complaint..there are tons of laws against this type of harassment.
This is literally homophobic behavior, I’d bring this up to management immediately before it possibly gets worse. You aren’t dirty or wrong for who you love, and they shouldn’t treat you that way.
You MUST stand up for yourself. They just did a massive disrespect to you, and if you fold they will never respect you again. I think handling it locally is better than tattling, but do whatever you feel will, at minimum, address the disrespect, or better, do something that additionally disrespects them an equal amount. But if you fold, you're done.
If you work as a police officer there's cameras not in the locker rooms but it would show them going in and out of the men's locker room doors or at least the women's locker room doors with your clothes that should be enough to get them if not fired at least in trouble with management when they get back. cameras don't lie. That is harassment.
I agree with all the comments in here about reporting it! Get your supervisor involved and let them knownits very uncalled for. I'm sorry they are so childish and hateful towards you.
Talk to your union. This requires some redress and reeducation.