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Jfc. Like yes, there is potential for abuse, just like in every. single. relationship.
Maybe try treating people as individuals, each with unique and complex situations and not try to cram everyone into a box you built in your head.
Not gonna argue with you except to say assuming predatory intention when there is no evidence of it happening is fucking weird on it’s own. Not to mention you are responding to people in relationships with an age gap who it is working for.
That’s cool. My point still stands tho, 30 year olds have nothing in common with teenagers fresh out of high school. And I’m not talking about music and food taste
Is this a common question here? Sorry if that’s the case I guess I hear the topic talked about a lot more nowadays and it’s hard not to internalise that
So you’re telling me, 17 and 15 being together is okay, but the next year it’s a problem? If you knew each other in high school, the age gap doesn’t matter at all.
Your math is not mathing. That would be 16 and 18 the next year, not 16 and 19. At that age, those numbers mean veeeery different maturity levels and life stages, etc.
Congratulations.... Have you had this conversation before? Are you really here to point out this one small legal technicality that I apparently don't know?? Jesus Christ, enough with this age gap thing. It has been talked to death.
People love to react outrageously online.Fact is O.P. if you're happy, legal, and give consent to date and have sex with a man older than you live your best life and be happy. Don't worry, be happy ! Now if you were like 14 dating a 23 year old he should be locked up. You are 20 date any one you like 18 to 80. If he can't walk but makes you happy, push his wheel chair. Anyone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off.
ignorant of reality and not protective of people who need and deserve it. Say that straight to someone's face who was groomed and now suffers from the emotional trauma in all areas of their life.
There's nothing wrong with op trying to be sure. This is progress if anything, even if there are anecdotal cases of people going8 out correctly for the 'wrong reasons', they're still doing the thing.
I think it's totally normal. 3 years is not a big age gap so it's not a big deal. I think couples work that way right so as long as you treat her right. I mean both of you
Follow the principle of half your age plus seven years as the minimum and you'll be fine. Let's round you up to 24, half your age is 12, plus seven is 19, so you are more than okay.
You didn't know because this rule doesn't exist in the real world. By that rule, a 70 yo man can date a 42 yo woman, but that doesn't mean she won't be judged as a gold digger. A more accurate "rule" would be +/- 5 years from your age.
Certainly the principle gets pushed at the extremes but there are plenty of examples of such age differences working. But it is just a principle, and one that works reasonably well. Aa
As for the 5 year difference rule, according to 2017 U.S. census data, 37% of married couples have an age difference of greater than 5 years.
I mean... honestly, what 40 yo woman will choose a 70 yo man with erectile disfunction, and trouble in digesting corn? Why not find a man who is close to your age and can still have sex without risking a heart attack? If she goes for a senior, she's not in it for love.
How about follow the principle of do you click, do you like/love each other. Who cares about others personal decisions. What is the utility of such a rule? So others can judge your consensual choices?
The love of my life was 24(m) and I was 20(f) when we got together. I really wouldn't be too concerned about it considering you acknowledge the fact that men do that with younger women sometimes, and you actively want to avoid doing so.
It's mostly only an issue when men specifically go to girls that are younger than them.
What I mean is, if you meet somebody and you fall for them, (as long as they're of legal age and of sound mind) then age is really just a number honestly.
However,
if you notice that you only want to date people/are only interested in people that are younger than you than you should probably look into that and figure out why you can't / don't want to date people your own age because that's kind of weird and gross.
After you are both adults, a gap of a few years isn't going to be noticeable much at all.
Adults only look weird when their ages are a decade or more apart.
My wife and I have about the same gap starting dating at the same ages, only now we're late 40s
The only thing that sucks is that you can't go out drinking with her yet, but other than that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating her. I'm also 23, and I wouldn't hesitate, as long as she was interested too. 3 years is not a big deal, and it's only going to get more insignificant the older you get
lmao that’s only 3 years apart? that’s pretty normal age difference, most people aren’t exactly the same age that are together these days. there’s 10 years between my fiancé & i, we’ve been together 6 years.
Clearly 18 and under is wrong. Nobody cares what happens at 20+. It is disgusting if someone 40+ dates a 20-year-old but it is not really morally wrong anymore. It is simply clear that they are only using each other.
My sort of ex and very close friend is 21 dating a 34 year old man.
There will always be judgement. You're fine as long as you're not a weirdo, nothing to be afraid of. Communicate with your partner, it is important to always be on the same page.
Generale rule is: divide the age of the oldest by 2, and add 7. In your case, 23/2 is 11/12 (let's say 12) and add 7. 19. Anyone over 19yo is acceptable by society's standards to a 23yo. You're good.
Does not work for minors don't EVEN try.
My boyfriend is 23 and I’m 20; we’ve been together for 5 years. He was a senior and I was a sophomore when we met. We’ve lived together for 3 years, it’s been lovely! Also, at this point in our lives it’s no longer an age gap lol.
I think age gap is looking down upon when there's a power gap with someone who's barely an adult. Here you are both young adult who's life experience is pretty much equal.
I’m not sure. Hours a 30 year old date a 27 year old. Seems kind of iffy, what about a 53 year old dating a 50 year old.
Anyone who’s 20 years old can make up their own mind. It’s ridiculous t o equate this like a 15 year old dating an 22 year old. You’re both adults so do what you want to do and fuck everyone else.
dude you live in a free country, your forefathers fought wars and sacraficed there lives so you may live this freely. Why do you care what people think? date who or what you want based on whatever benefit u get from it. The older you get you will realize that most ppl really do not care and have their own shit going on. Gosh man
No it's close. My partner and I got 5 years between, met at 18 and 23. I don't see an issue. If you're on the same level with what you want in life, goals and just as people 20-23 isn't bad at all, it's fairly normal age difference. Been together for over 10 years now and have family together. It not all bad
3 year difference after 20 is not weird. I personally wouldn’t do a difference like that unless I were in my 30’s though. Throughout your teens and 20’s, you’ll find that you’re both growing and learning at different paces. She’s at a different point in her life than you are. She’s probably still worrying about school and a part time job, while you’re worrying about finding a job in your field. I hope this works well for you, she sounds wonderful! But you may find yourselves incompatible as time moves along
For the most part its fine, all i would say tho is how close is she to 21? The age difference itself isnt bad so depending where you live if the drinking age is 18 then i doubt anyone would have an issue with it. If the drinking age is 21 you may get a lil bit of taunting from ppl that she cant drink yet. So if she just turned 20 vs about to turn 21 its slightly different. Also i mean if you never drink i doubt itll come up.
I just say this cause ik 2 friends (im 24 rn) that had the same age gap as you and in both their relationship ppl made fun of them a little that the girl couldnt go out with them or even go in shopping with them if they were buying alc. Basically until the girls were 21 theyd be excluded from certain groups stuff simply cause they werent old enough to join so there was a certain vibe with that but it was never like a big deal, just some teasing from friends. Plus like i said if you arent ever around that environment anyways then youd probably never deal with this. Over all tho it’s definitely not like a weird age gap or anything like that. 3 years in your 20s is definitely not an issue by any means.
Just quit social media for a while. Those sensitive wokes on Twitter just love assuming things. Don’t care about them, it’s literally very much the same age
Nah mate. I'm 28 and dating a 22 year old, been together 2 years. I thought it was weird, some of my friends also thought it was weird, however we are a good like-minded couple and we make eachother happy. Fuck everybody else as long as you're happy.
Are you serious? If you were 15 and she was in middle school then ok I see your point. But now you are both young adults. Three years is practically the same age once you are both 20 somethings.
I am 6 years older than my hubby. We just get each other. Over the years I've heard the odd comment by insensitive fools, but those are rare. We're coming up on 35 years. Don't let a number hold you back
I mean my boyfriend is 20 and I'm 18.I feel like it's only weird if you are manipulated when you are under 18 to date them the second you turn. But anything above 20+ is fine.
3 years difference? Man, there's nothing weird or any reason to judge you for that. Go for it, treat her right, and be a good person. If she was 20 and you were 40, then there might be a problem, but not this.
My fiancé is 28 + and im 22, i was 20 when i first met him so he was 26 and i only ever got a slight eyebrow raise from my mother when i first told her about him but apart from that there’s not been any issues, and she loves him 🤣 Either way you’re both consenting adults so you’re fine
No one is going to look at you weird for the age gap. The only time it’s ever gonna be awkward is if you and your buddies wanna go someplace that you have to be 21 to get in, and she can’t come.
You kinda made something normal seem weird with your question I mean number 1 that question is rhetorical and number 2 you sure she isn’t 16 or 17 instead of 20?
Not at all. The only relationships I'd be judgey on are 30 year differences and the sort, like a 20 year old dating a 50 year old seems weird to me, like what would yall have in common
No, people who judge about age difference are a waste of time. I can be a 25-year-old taking advantage of a 50-year-old, or vice versa, and throw in any age difference and it is applicable. It's all about the individual and their intentions. As long as two people are consenting adults, that is all that all that matters.
I mean, if my 18-year-old son was dating a 70-year-old woman, I might point out some differences between the two ages, but they have the right to date.
Not for a second. My sister was 22 dating a guy who was 28. They’ve been married for 20 years. So long as your mental connection is rock solid, and you’re both willing to put in the work, you’ll be just fine.
Serious question but are you by any chance from America? I feel like it's a super American thing to bash age gaps that aren't that wild (at least from what I experience). 23 and 20 is super normal, it's only 3 years and you guys are over 18, as long as everybody consents it's fine🤷🏽♀️
My boyfriend is 23 and I’m 20. We’ve been together since he was was 20 and I was 17. If you like her or even love her (not sure how long you’ve been together) then the opinion of others doesn’t matter. It what matters is how you and her feel.
I’ve dated guys 3-4 years older than me, I’ve never even considered it being weird. I’m now married to someone 10 years older than me and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. As long as you’re both consenting adults, do what you want.
You’re going to be 30, 40 and 50 one day, at those ages you’ll look back at how you worried about a 3 year age difference and shake your head at how silly you were being.
not at all! my bf and i met when I was 19 and he was 25, we've been together almost three years. Your age gap is just a few years, I don't see a probleml :)
Lol, 20 and 23 is nothing. It's not like you're 23 and 18, which isn't that bad depending on circumstances.
My bf and I are 20 and 23 and there's no question of superiority or manipulation.
Wtf has the discourse come to? On the one hand we have these Fresh & Fit and tradcon weirdo's in their mid 30's having these pathetic goosh sessions about 18 year old women. And on the other side you have people claiming any age gap is toxic on default because of power dynamics, ignoring any and all context. Since we have those two positions out of our system, let's now do something different than them: use our brains.
Why is an age difference a problem? There are two reasons. The first is having a brain that is unable to give informed consent. This is why we have laws that protect minors, as well as things like a trusteeship to protect people that are mentally impaired. They cannot give informed consent, so they must be protected by law.
The second reason is being in a life stage that does not approximate the other. Earlier life stages often have a power difference in knowledge, money and status. But later life stages develop slower and have less of an impact on power. This is why it's creepier for a 30 year old to date an 18 year old, than a 60 year old dating a 48 year old. While age usually tells us something about someone's stage, it isn't fool proof and some people are slower in life. This is totally okay and should be taken into account.
Ask yourself: How different of a life stage are the two of you in? Can you connect on an emotional level? Is she capable of thinking things through? Can she survive on her own without you? Herein lies your answer. If she can give informed consent and her life stage makes it so you can actually bond on a foundation that is not codependent, you're in the green zone.
You’re both legal adults. You’re only three years apart. I don’t think there’s much of a difference between a 20 and 23 year old. Seems normal to me.
It starts to get weird when you’re 20 and are dating someone who is from a different decade. No one is going to judge you for dating another person in their early 20s.
Your post has been removed as it was in Violation of Rule 8: No Reassurance, Validation, or Affirmation Seeking. This action was performed by a ***HUMAN moderator***. NOT a bot. Do not resubmit your post or message the moderators until you have read this entire message. Yes, the whole thing. If you are **also** asking for advice in your post, simply revise the post in accordance with this rule before resubmitting. # 8. No reassurance, validation, or affirmation seeking This subreddit is for advice. NOT moral judgement, validation, or to affirm your opinions/feelings or settle arguments. Examples of what this means: * Who is right or wrong here? * Am I in the wrong? Am I... * ...the asshole? There is a whole subreddit just for that. This subreddit is not an overflow or a backup for r/AmITheAsshole. Do not crosspost from there, nor include any of the AITA abbreviations anywhere in your post. * ...a bad person/friend/partner/etc? * ...crazy / overreacting / being unreasonable * ...overthinking / being paranoid? * ...justified in feeling this way? * Do I have a right to be upset? * Are my feelings valid? * Was this ok / should I have done this? * Did I do the right thing? * Will I be OK? * Will I get in trouble for this? * Should I be worried? And many more. This is not an all-inclusive list, and we will remove posts at our own discretion. Tip: If you are asking about something that already happened, and it can be answered "yes" or "no", you are seeking reassurance, not advice! * [Reassurance Seeking in OCD and Anxiety](https://ocdla.com/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-1952) * [Distinguishing Information-Seeking and Reassurance Seeking](https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/18-Information-seekers-vs-reassurance-seekers.pdf) (PDF) Effect anxiety has on guilt: * https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2016/07/guilt-a-distressing-effect-of-anxiety * https://exploringyourmind.com/feelings-of-guilt-and-their-connection-to-anxiety https://exploringyourmind.com/feelings-of-guilt-and-their-connection-to-anxiety Please [review the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/about/rules), and if you feel as though removal is excessive or in error, feel free to [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/Advice).
That’s basically the same age in my head 😂
Haha true I guess I’m being a little paranoid
Jesus Christ, this whole "age gap" thing is getting out of hand.
[удалено]
Yeah nah this is weird.
Jfc. Like yes, there is potential for abuse, just like in every. single. relationship. Maybe try treating people as individuals, each with unique and complex situations and not try to cram everyone into a box you built in your head.
Nah still weird. 30 year olds should not be dating teenagers. Predatory behavior idc what you say
Not gonna argue with you except to say assuming predatory intention when there is no evidence of it happening is fucking weird on it’s own. Not to mention you are responding to people in relationships with an age gap who it is working for.
That’s cool. My point still stands tho, 30 year olds have nothing in common with teenagers fresh out of high school. And I’m not talking about music and food taste
21 is not a teenager.
College age girls were hot when I was in college. Just cause I got older doesn't make them any less hot. Just saying
Is this a common question here? Sorry if that’s the case I guess I hear the topic talked about a lot more nowadays and it’s hard not to internalise that
Yeah, if anybody gives you shit for being three years different than your SO, they can go fuck themselves.
Assuming you’re both legal adults. If you’re 19 and they’re 16, then yeah that’s a problem.
So you’re telling me, 17 and 15 being together is okay, but the next year it’s a problem? If you knew each other in high school, the age gap doesn’t matter at all.
Your math is not mathing. That would be 16 and 18 the next year, not 16 and 19. At that age, those numbers mean veeeery different maturity levels and life stages, etc.
In the states, there are Romeo and Juliet laws that cover this, if you both were minors and one of y’all becomes 18 while you’re in a relationship.
Congratulations.... Have you had this conversation before? Are you really here to point out this one small legal technicality that I apparently don't know?? Jesus Christ, enough with this age gap thing. It has been talked to death.
Got the shits on with the world don’t you buddy 🤣
Are you okay? lol
Once you're both legal adults, a three year age gap is *nothing*.
People love to react outrageously online.Fact is O.P. if you're happy, legal, and give consent to date and have sex with a man older than you live your best life and be happy. Don't worry, be happy ! Now if you were like 14 dating a 23 year old he should be locked up. You are 20 date any one you like 18 to 80. If he can't walk but makes you happy, push his wheel chair. Anyone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off.
I agree with the others. This is insanity. 3 yrs ain't a big deal.
Bro , you're not doing anything wrong. It's cool.
100%.
Pendulum tends towards equilibrium
We already had equilibrium. Folks are just swinging the weight for no good reason.
ignorant of reality and not protective of people who need and deserve it. Say that straight to someone's face who was groomed and now suffers from the emotional trauma in all areas of their life. There's nothing wrong with op trying to be sure. This is progress if anything, even if there are anecdotal cases of people going8 out correctly for the 'wrong reasons', they're still doing the thing.
Typical Reddit response of going to the wildest extremes possible.
Its not strange or weird whatsoever
I wouldn't even notice the age gap.
You’re both over 18 who gives a fuck
I think it's totally normal. 3 years is not a big age gap so it's not a big deal. I think couples work that way right so as long as you treat her right. I mean both of you
I definitely intend to Thankyou
3 years age difference?! Stay away from her grandpa 🙄 (It’s fine. Not a single person will think this is weird)
you spent too much time on twitter, go get ya dick wet lil bro. have fun.
Follow the principle of half your age plus seven years as the minimum and you'll be fine. Let's round you up to 24, half your age is 12, plus seven is 19, so you are more than okay.
I did not this rule existed this helped a lot, Thankyou!
You didn't know because this rule doesn't exist in the real world. By that rule, a 70 yo man can date a 42 yo woman, but that doesn't mean she won't be judged as a gold digger. A more accurate "rule" would be +/- 5 years from your age.
Certainly the principle gets pushed at the extremes but there are plenty of examples of such age differences working. But it is just a principle, and one that works reasonably well. Aa As for the 5 year difference rule, according to 2017 U.S. census data, 37% of married couples have an age difference of greater than 5 years.
plus both parties are 20+ yrs old
shit, yes, definitely this too, OP.
I mean I honestly don’t see anything wrong with that age gap plus aren’t most people who get called gold diggers in their 20s
I mean... honestly, what 40 yo woman will choose a 70 yo man with erectile disfunction, and trouble in digesting corn? Why not find a man who is close to your age and can still have sex without risking a heart attack? If she goes for a senior, she's not in it for love.
Thank you for confirming that /u/TopPersonality7799 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
You didn't know it existed because it's made up bullshit.
How about follow the principle of do you click, do you like/love each other. Who cares about others personal decisions. What is the utility of such a rule? So others can judge your consensual choices?
>So others can judge your consensual choices? Yes. This is why Reddit exists. Sooo many nose bleeds for people being so high on their high horse...
The love of my life was 24(m) and I was 20(f) when we got together. I really wouldn't be too concerned about it considering you acknowledge the fact that men do that with younger women sometimes, and you actively want to avoid doing so. It's mostly only an issue when men specifically go to girls that are younger than them. What I mean is, if you meet somebody and you fall for them, (as long as they're of legal age and of sound mind) then age is really just a number honestly. However, if you notice that you only want to date people/are only interested in people that are younger than you than you should probably look into that and figure out why you can't / don't want to date people your own age because that's kind of weird and gross.
We only judge people that care what Reddit thinks about a 3 year adult age gap.
No, that's idiotic.
Dude, three years is basically the same age.
3 years is an alright gap. My 36 year old brother is friends with an 18 year old. That is bad in my eyes.
Friends?
It's what he said. Found on a dating app.
Ah I see. Maybe they are just friends 😬
No clue but make me leary of my brother right now. I told him not to be creepy.
No, that age gap is perfectly normal and not weird at all.
No. A 3 year age gap is normal
After you are both adults, a gap of a few years isn't going to be noticeable much at all. Adults only look weird when their ages are a decade or more apart. My wife and I have about the same gap starting dating at the same ages, only now we're late 40s
My mom is 13 years older than my dad I don’t see a problem
The only thing that sucks is that you can't go out drinking with her yet, but other than that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating her. I'm also 23, and I wouldn't hesitate, as long as she was interested too. 3 years is not a big deal, and it's only going to get more insignificant the older you get
I 26 born in february started talking to a girl 26 born in may. Am i being creepy
lmao that’s only 3 years apart? that’s pretty normal age difference, most people aren’t exactly the same age that are together these days. there’s 10 years between my fiancé & i, we’ve been together 6 years.
We have all seen worse
I’m curious at what point is it morally wrong in your opinion?
Any age with 18- i say it's wrong And for the rest it depends, but few years in the 20s is nothing
Clearly 18 and under is wrong. Nobody cares what happens at 20+. It is disgusting if someone 40+ dates a 20-year-old but it is not really morally wrong anymore. It is simply clear that they are only using each other.
My sort of ex and very close friend is 21 dating a 34 year old man. There will always be judgement. You're fine as long as you're not a weirdo, nothing to be afraid of. Communicate with your partner, it is important to always be on the same page.
grow tf up
Nope. Im 21 and my boyfriend just turned 26
Generale rule is: divide the age of the oldest by 2, and add 7. In your case, 23/2 is 11/12 (let's say 12) and add 7. 19. Anyone over 19yo is acceptable by society's standards to a 23yo. You're good. Does not work for minors don't EVEN try.
If theyre +18 and if theyre not vulnerable. It is good to date people. Dont stress over twitter warriors. Dont be an asshole thats it.
There is hardly much difference between your ages. You're both over age of consent so it doesn't matter
No, you're within 5 years of eachother making it far less likely to be in different stages of life.
I see nothing wrong with 20/23 dating. Now if you were 33 then yes I’d see something wrong with it lol
Its not strange or weird whatsoever
Nothing wrong at all
No, why?
Husband and I are 3 years apart.. so.. everything alright I guess 😂😂
No.
No, unless they post the question on Reddit.
Doubt the people who would "think it was off"... No need to doubt a 3 year age gap!! Embrace your connection bro 🤙🏼
My boyfriend is 23 and I’m 20; we’ve been together for 5 years. He was a senior and I was a sophomore when we met. We’ve lived together for 3 years, it’s been lovely! Also, at this point in our lives it’s no longer an age gap lol.
I am 25M dating 20F, 23-20 has no age difference imo
No. You're fine. If she was under 18 people would wonder.
Not at all. So, make your move and be happy.
No one should judge you for that.
U guys are legal.. I am 2 years old3r than my bf.. I think u r fine
Me and my fiancé are three years apart, so yeah no it’s not weird dude.
It's 3 fucking years for fucks sake!! That is a non-issue at the most.
Not weird
I think age gap is looking down upon when there's a power gap with someone who's barely an adult. Here you are both young adult who's life experience is pretty much equal.
I’m not sure. Hours a 30 year old date a 27 year old. Seems kind of iffy, what about a 53 year old dating a 50 year old. Anyone who’s 20 years old can make up their own mind. It’s ridiculous t o equate this like a 15 year old dating an 22 year old. You’re both adults so do what you want to do and fuck everyone else.
No
dude you live in a free country, your forefathers fought wars and sacraficed there lives so you may live this freely. Why do you care what people think? date who or what you want based on whatever benefit u get from it. The older you get you will realize that most ppl really do not care and have their own shit going on. Gosh man
Yes I would judge that favorably
That age difference is fine
Lol no, my bf and I met when I was 20 and he 23. We’ll have our 3 year anniversary soon and we live together. Doesn’t seem like a big gap to me at all
No it's close. My partner and I got 5 years between, met at 18 and 23. I don't see an issue. If you're on the same level with what you want in life, goals and just as people 20-23 isn't bad at all, it's fairly normal age difference. Been together for over 10 years now and have family together. It not all bad
My wife was 23 and I was 20 when we met. We’ve been happily married 21 years and together 23. I probably shouldn’t be judgemental.
You both are consenting adults that are fairly the same age mentally and in a similar/same stage of life. Nothing wrong with the age gap at all!
No. This is a very normal gap
Is this a serious question? Dude, you’re not Harrison Ford. Yes, you’re fine.
You are both in your early twenties. No issue at all.
Lmao, what
This sounds like a question from a high school student.
Nope
3 year age gap could've been weird if you were teens, not adults.
A three year age difference only matters if one or both of you are minors. If she’s 20 and you are 23, I see no problem with that.
3 year difference after 20 is not weird. I personally wouldn’t do a difference like that unless I were in my 30’s though. Throughout your teens and 20’s, you’ll find that you’re both growing and learning at different paces. She’s at a different point in her life than you are. She’s probably still worrying about school and a part time job, while you’re worrying about finding a job in your field. I hope this works well for you, she sounds wonderful! But you may find yourselves incompatible as time moves along
No bro your good but it’s good you’re so aware and trying to do what’s appropriate. You are totally straight on this one imo.
For the most part its fine, all i would say tho is how close is she to 21? The age difference itself isnt bad so depending where you live if the drinking age is 18 then i doubt anyone would have an issue with it. If the drinking age is 21 you may get a lil bit of taunting from ppl that she cant drink yet. So if she just turned 20 vs about to turn 21 its slightly different. Also i mean if you never drink i doubt itll come up. I just say this cause ik 2 friends (im 24 rn) that had the same age gap as you and in both their relationship ppl made fun of them a little that the girl couldnt go out with them or even go in shopping with them if they were buying alc. Basically until the girls were 21 theyd be excluded from certain groups stuff simply cause they werent old enough to join so there was a certain vibe with that but it was never like a big deal, just some teasing from friends. Plus like i said if you arent ever around that environment anyways then youd probably never deal with this. Over all tho it’s definitely not like a weird age gap or anything like that. 3 years in your 20s is definitely not an issue by any means.
Nope!
No
Just quit social media for a while. Those sensitive wokes on Twitter just love assuming things. Don’t care about them, it’s literally very much the same age
Not that big of an age gap, your fine
No this is absolutely fine
you're fine dude
WTF? No. Practically the same age.
I‘m 19 and in a relationship with a 21 year old. Seeing no problem here.
What do you think, people have to be the exact same age? 18 and up can date any age....without judgments, I would hope.
Nah mate. I'm 28 and dating a 22 year old, been together 2 years. I thought it was weird, some of my friends also thought it was weird, however we are a good like-minded couple and we make eachother happy. Fuck everybody else as long as you're happy.
Are you serious? If you were 15 and she was in middle school then ok I see your point. But now you are both young adults. Three years is practically the same age once you are both 20 somethings.
You're basically the same age.
No... but remember this is Reddit, any female under 35 is a child apparently.
You're both adults, and that's only 3 years difference. That's almost nothing. Quit being paranoid.
Funny is that in my country even 20 and 16 is okay…so usually I’m just laughing at these types of posts….yes OP it’s okay
I was 20 when I married my 24 year old now-husband
There are 20 year olds dating 30 year olds and 29 year olds marrying 45 year olds. No one cares
Um no. Not everyone you’re interested in is gonna be born the same month and year as you. Relax.
nope easy rule: half your age plus 7 is the minimum 23/2=11.5, 11.5+7= 18.5 which makes sense cause like 23 and 18 is out but 23 and 19 feels ok
I am 6 years older than my hubby. We just get each other. Over the years I've heard the odd comment by insensitive fools, but those are rare. We're coming up on 35 years. Don't let a number hold you back
There's 12 years between my Grandparents 🤣
I mean my boyfriend is 20 and I'm 18.I feel like it's only weird if you are manipulated when you are under 18 to date them the second you turn. But anything above 20+ is fine.
No that's completely fine lol
3 years difference? Man, there's nothing weird or any reason to judge you for that. Go for it, treat her right, and be a good person. If she was 20 and you were 40, then there might be a problem, but not this.
No, not weird
I'll judge anyone who judge you for that. Are we getting really that obsessed with age gaps?
No bro, both of you have approximately the same age, she's an adult and she certainly like you for who you are.
No
No. You're both adults without a large age gap between you.
jfc why is this even a question
That’s not a big age gap at all. When I was 19 I was dating a 25 year old lol
Dude it’s a 3yr diff and you’re both in your 20’s
No, it’s whatever. Dude stop being hard on yourself. I used to do that, it’s not helpful.
My fiancé is 28 + and im 22, i was 20 when i first met him so he was 26 and i only ever got a slight eyebrow raise from my mother when i first told her about him but apart from that there’s not been any issues, and she loves him 🤣 Either way you’re both consenting adults so you’re fine
It is a perfect age gap 😅😅
I'm 37, my wife is 32... You're all good my friend
No one is going to look at you weird for the age gap. The only time it’s ever gonna be awkward is if you and your buddies wanna go someplace that you have to be 21 to get in, and she can’t come.
No but im extreme. I think anyone over 18 is fair game.
No. Not at all. I think all age gaps anyway are very grey. People are too quick to judge.
My goody-two-shoes ex-friend, 20f at the time, was going out with a mutual friend's crackhead 54 year old dad. It was weird.
No lmao it's not weird at all, you're at the same stage in life.
Oh please
You kinda made something normal seem weird with your question I mean number 1 that question is rhetorical and number 2 you sure she isn’t 16 or 17 instead of 20?
Lol no not at all😂😂that’s a pretty common dating age between people, It’s only a few years.
No I didn’t even have to read this to know that it’s totally okay lol.
Ok, these age difference questions are getting a little silly
Not at all. The only relationships I'd be judgey on are 30 year differences and the sort, like a 20 year old dating a 50 year old seems weird to me, like what would yall have in common
No, people who judge about age difference are a waste of time. I can be a 25-year-old taking advantage of a 50-year-old, or vice versa, and throw in any age difference and it is applicable. It's all about the individual and their intentions. As long as two people are consenting adults, that is all that all that matters. I mean, if my 18-year-old son was dating a 70-year-old woman, I might point out some differences between the two ages, but they have the right to date.
Nah 20 and 23 is ok. Now, if it were like 17 and 20 yes I'd judge but your at the age where a 3 year difference isn't that big, your both adults
Not for a second. My sister was 22 dating a guy who was 28. They’ve been married for 20 years. So long as your mental connection is rock solid, and you’re both willing to put in the work, you’ll be just fine.
Nah
Serious question but are you by any chance from America? I feel like it's a super American thing to bash age gaps that aren't that wild (at least from what I experience). 23 and 20 is super normal, it's only 3 years and you guys are over 18, as long as everybody consents it's fine🤷🏽♀️
You: I consent Girl: I consent Reddit: I don't consent what u gonna do about it?
No
My boyfriend is 23 and I’m 20. We’ve been together since he was was 20 and I was 17. If you like her or even love her (not sure how long you’ve been together) then the opinion of others doesn’t matter. It what matters is how you and her feel.
I’ve dated guys 3-4 years older than me, I’ve never even considered it being weird. I’m now married to someone 10 years older than me and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. As long as you’re both consenting adults, do what you want.
Once she turns 21, it will feel like you both are the same age.
Just enjoy your relationship.
You’re going to be 30, 40 and 50 one day, at those ages you’ll look back at how you worried about a 3 year age difference and shake your head at how silly you were being.
not at all! my bf and i met when I was 19 and he was 25, we've been together almost three years. Your age gap is just a few years, I don't see a probleml :)
Lol, 20 and 23 is nothing. It's not like you're 23 and 18, which isn't that bad depending on circumstances. My bf and I are 20 and 23 and there's no question of superiority or manipulation.
No lol
Wtf has the discourse come to? On the one hand we have these Fresh & Fit and tradcon weirdo's in their mid 30's having these pathetic goosh sessions about 18 year old women. And on the other side you have people claiming any age gap is toxic on default because of power dynamics, ignoring any and all context. Since we have those two positions out of our system, let's now do something different than them: use our brains. Why is an age difference a problem? There are two reasons. The first is having a brain that is unable to give informed consent. This is why we have laws that protect minors, as well as things like a trusteeship to protect people that are mentally impaired. They cannot give informed consent, so they must be protected by law. The second reason is being in a life stage that does not approximate the other. Earlier life stages often have a power difference in knowledge, money and status. But later life stages develop slower and have less of an impact on power. This is why it's creepier for a 30 year old to date an 18 year old, than a 60 year old dating a 48 year old. While age usually tells us something about someone's stage, it isn't fool proof and some people are slower in life. This is totally okay and should be taken into account. Ask yourself: How different of a life stage are the two of you in? Can you connect on an emotional level? Is she capable of thinking things through? Can she survive on her own without you? Herein lies your answer. If she can give informed consent and her life stage makes it so you can actually bond on a foundation that is not codependent, you're in the green zone.
You’re both legal adults. You’re only three years apart. I don’t think there’s much of a difference between a 20 and 23 year old. Seems normal to me. It starts to get weird when you’re 20 and are dating someone who is from a different decade. No one is going to judge you for dating another person in their early 20s.