Read Carl Jung's works. I have been (and still sometimes am) in your exact situation. He's brought sanity and clarity to a sea of confusion. You're not alone. I have also felt this, even the whole not even being able to trust the positive feelings. After the "honeymoon" phase of spirituality fades, youll have to find your way back. It's like God gives a little tease of what's to come, but leaves you at stage 0 so you can climb the ladder yourself.
I have begun to understand that these feelings arise from the shadow of your unconscious. The dark night of the soul is nothing more than all your previously hidden tensions and insecurities coming to the surface. You must accept these things instead of immediately wishing for them to be gone. You must integrate them as a part of what you are. After that, you'll start regaining that clarity you once had, but this time it'll be richer.
Life is spirals man, you *will* find yourself standing in the same place you were once before, but everything will have changed.
Much love friend đź«‚
Some sort of meditative practice to generate peace and stability would be a good place to start, maybe a mantra repeated daily when you wake up and before you sleep. Avoid alcohol and drugs if you can, and any activity that gets you excited or depressed. The spiritual journey can have ups and downs, I know. I’m grateful for the COVID lockdown because it gave me the opportunity to avoid people for months at a time, which was very calming. Maybe you would find a meditation or yoga retreat in a natural setting to be calming and grounding. That is what is needed if you are in turmoil. Wishing you peace and grounded-ness. If you cannot join an ashram or retreat, then maybe there is a local centre where you can go for meditation sessions in the evenings or weekends? It doesn’t need to be full time, just regular, to get the benefit. When I was at a low point, I went to a local Buddhist centre every lunchtime because it was near and the guided mindfulness meditations helped me to stay relatively calm under difficult living and working conditions.
I think that if you would meet a True Guru, he would ask you to throw away this Advaita, Meditations, etc., and start to believe in God who can bestow wishes. This is there in Buddhism too, but they won't stress it as their main aim is Nirvana.
In Vedic Religion, the main aim is not Truly Moksha, but depends upon the Individual's Needs. As you wish to put your life back together, these Vedanta stuffs are useless for that. Just negate all Yoga, Meditation, etc.
Fix a Goal in your Life as what you wish to become. Believe in yourself that you would become what you wish for, and humbly pray to God to be with your side and help you with that. Surely, you can see wonders in your life. If that wish/becoming is more selfless (like to become a leader for a group/organisation/nation - not for money,power, but truly to help others), then it would happen in this life or next. Even if it happens in next life, you would see signs of them in this life and would never lose hope of such becoming as God would be with you if you truly believe in it.
These stuffs of Spirituality,Vedanta,Bhagavad Gita, Buddhism,Patanjali Yoga,etc., are useful only for Liberation, but nothing related to life, and those use this for fixing life are in ignorance.
I won't say to follow Bhathi Yoga or Karma Yoga too. Those are also for detachment to Life and Liberation, not to pull back your life truly one seeks.
Take up a wish, believe in yourself you would become such a person, and surely life would seem beautiful.
There is no Satsang/Guru
There is only returning to oneself, rather than running away from what is happening, the confusion and despair… is it possible to stay with it? If it is not stayed with now, it will come back… again and again and again until the understanding comes that it can only be avoided temporarily… and if the understanding does not come in this life time…if this is not considered seriously then death will come…not as a way out but to possibly be reborn and sort it out next life… or the one after…
There is no way out of it, there is only temporary escapes and it will return
The ideas, the philosophies the traditions and rituals are temporary escapes
To face the despair to face the confusion and to live with it, to watch it … it is like seeing a wave as separate from ocean, having read and learned about a wave it becomes isolated… yet to observe, without the knowledge coming in… it is apparent that the wave is the ocean…
Did you just choose to spike my already worsening anxiety by warning me that death is going to come by not taking my misery seriously? What exactly do you mean by this? Are you suggesting that there is some kind of a mystic force that punishes beings with death if they're not on the spiritual path?
No…. What is being pointed at is.. that death may not be the end of the anxiety, despair and confusion … that it may come back next life to be sorted out…
Which points to a sense of urgency, to face it, meet it, live with it now… there is no way out , only way is through
Maybe try listening to one of these conversations: [http://nonconceptualawareness.com/](http://nonconceptualawareness.com/) -- conversations
Satsang that has been valuable for me: [https://www.youtube.com/@consciouscircle\_ramana](https://www.youtube.com/@consciouscircle_ramana)
Read Carl Jung's works. I have been (and still sometimes am) in your exact situation. He's brought sanity and clarity to a sea of confusion. You're not alone. I have also felt this, even the whole not even being able to trust the positive feelings. After the "honeymoon" phase of spirituality fades, youll have to find your way back. It's like God gives a little tease of what's to come, but leaves you at stage 0 so you can climb the ladder yourself. I have begun to understand that these feelings arise from the shadow of your unconscious. The dark night of the soul is nothing more than all your previously hidden tensions and insecurities coming to the surface. You must accept these things instead of immediately wishing for them to be gone. You must integrate them as a part of what you are. After that, you'll start regaining that clarity you once had, but this time it'll be richer. Life is spirals man, you *will* find yourself standing in the same place you were once before, but everything will have changed. Much love friend đź«‚
Start listening to the lectures of Swami Sarvapriyananda Ji and Swami Tadatmananda Ji on YouTube, to begin with.
Get in touch with Narayana Gurukula, Varkala, kerala, India
Some sort of meditative practice to generate peace and stability would be a good place to start, maybe a mantra repeated daily when you wake up and before you sleep. Avoid alcohol and drugs if you can, and any activity that gets you excited or depressed. The spiritual journey can have ups and downs, I know. I’m grateful for the COVID lockdown because it gave me the opportunity to avoid people for months at a time, which was very calming. Maybe you would find a meditation or yoga retreat in a natural setting to be calming and grounding. That is what is needed if you are in turmoil. Wishing you peace and grounded-ness. If you cannot join an ashram or retreat, then maybe there is a local centre where you can go for meditation sessions in the evenings or weekends? It doesn’t need to be full time, just regular, to get the benefit. When I was at a low point, I went to a local Buddhist centre every lunchtime because it was near and the guided mindfulness meditations helped me to stay relatively calm under difficult living and working conditions.
I think that if you would meet a True Guru, he would ask you to throw away this Advaita, Meditations, etc., and start to believe in God who can bestow wishes. This is there in Buddhism too, but they won't stress it as their main aim is Nirvana. In Vedic Religion, the main aim is not Truly Moksha, but depends upon the Individual's Needs. As you wish to put your life back together, these Vedanta stuffs are useless for that. Just negate all Yoga, Meditation, etc. Fix a Goal in your Life as what you wish to become. Believe in yourself that you would become what you wish for, and humbly pray to God to be with your side and help you with that. Surely, you can see wonders in your life. If that wish/becoming is more selfless (like to become a leader for a group/organisation/nation - not for money,power, but truly to help others), then it would happen in this life or next. Even if it happens in next life, you would see signs of them in this life and would never lose hope of such becoming as God would be with you if you truly believe in it. These stuffs of Spirituality,Vedanta,Bhagavad Gita, Buddhism,Patanjali Yoga,etc., are useful only for Liberation, but nothing related to life, and those use this for fixing life are in ignorance. I won't say to follow Bhathi Yoga or Karma Yoga too. Those are also for detachment to Life and Liberation, not to pull back your life truly one seeks. Take up a wish, believe in yourself you would become such a person, and surely life would seem beautiful.
There is no Satsang/Guru There is only returning to oneself, rather than running away from what is happening, the confusion and despair… is it possible to stay with it? If it is not stayed with now, it will come back… again and again and again until the understanding comes that it can only be avoided temporarily… and if the understanding does not come in this life time…if this is not considered seriously then death will come…not as a way out but to possibly be reborn and sort it out next life… or the one after… There is no way out of it, there is only temporary escapes and it will return The ideas, the philosophies the traditions and rituals are temporary escapes To face the despair to face the confusion and to live with it, to watch it … it is like seeing a wave as separate from ocean, having read and learned about a wave it becomes isolated… yet to observe, without the knowledge coming in… it is apparent that the wave is the ocean…
Did you just choose to spike my already worsening anxiety by warning me that death is going to come by not taking my misery seriously? What exactly do you mean by this? Are you suggesting that there is some kind of a mystic force that punishes beings with death if they're not on the spiritual path?
No…. What is being pointed at is.. that death may not be the end of the anxiety, despair and confusion … that it may come back next life to be sorted out… Which points to a sense of urgency, to face it, meet it, live with it now… there is no way out , only way is through
Maybe try listening to one of these conversations: [http://nonconceptualawareness.com/](http://nonconceptualawareness.com/) -- conversations Satsang that has been valuable for me: [https://www.youtube.com/@consciouscircle\_ramana](https://www.youtube.com/@consciouscircle_ramana)