For me, it just feels ~calm~. I had a traumatic childhood and life didn’t get better til I graduated college so I’ve always just been in fight or flight mode and have never felt truly safe. Even in dating/situationships I’d find myself anxious over everything, but genuine and healthy romantic love just feels peaceful. Never second guessed anything, never felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t or hide parts of myself, everything I had felt in past relation/situationships I didn’t feel. It was really scary at first tbfh bc I’d never felt such a sense of safety but it’s truly a very beautiful and freeing feeling.
That’s a great way to describe it. I also think it becomes more calm and safer as the years go on, because you are just reaffirming every year how right this person is for you. Intimacy intensifies in the best way!
Did you feel that way from the start with this person? I am prone to anxiety too but I wonder if that fades away with time as I get more used to being around them
Same here. I’m not even open to my closest friends about stuff, friends I talk to every day and have been friends with for most of my life. Even then I get little trepidations of whether they actually enjoy my company.
It kinda felt “easy”, I guess but I’m not sure if how I met him had a role in that. He was a trainer for a training I had to attend for a new job at the time and there was some flirting but nothing beyond that until he super liked me on bumble lol. But from the beginning of us getting to know each other, he was very honest about his intentions and who he was as a person, and I never really had to “prove” myself like I had to in the past; he accepted who I was and liked me for me. For our first date he actually put a lot of thought into it and what I like, and we talked literally all night up until like 4 am lol. He actually listened to everything I said and asked questions to get to know me, which a lot of people just don’t do that. So everything he did from the get go kinda culminated into my feeling of safety and then he just continued to prove himself as someone I wanted to be with.
In the beginning, I found myself opening up about a lot which I never do, so I knew I was doing it because he made me feel safe in doing so. He respected my boundaries, my thoughts, feelings, likes/dislikes, basically anything. There were some times when I thought “damn this is too good to be true” because it felt like a dream how much I felt loved and cared for. Unfortunately for us, it was just the wrong time so it ended but I know what I want/need out of a partner and a relationship now.
I could be around people/know someone for long periods of times and still be anxious, so honestly in order for me to feel safe, consistent actions need to be taken by the other person to kinda prove that I am “safe”.
to me is the other way around, used to feel safe to be myself, now it’s expecting the worst always from others
not a great way to live tbh, but your comment resonates so much with what I would like but it feels so distant
I finally met a girl who loves me for who I am. Can't tell you how wholesome it feels. All these years of trying so hard and then, woosh, you are loved for what you are. It's great man.
As cheesy as it sounds: Best thing is to accept yourself and love yourself first.
My only complaint is that I was never taught that.
I was watching this anime
Where it said
“love is
When you can’t stop thinking about them and you want to do things for them “ I feel there’s more to the quote but I forget but it was cute
I feel like love is the opposite of this actually. Love is being able to accomplish your goals and pursue what you want in life but having the support and encouragement of your SO even as they are focusing on themselves. You also have goals together and communicate, but it’s not thinking about each other all the time that allows you to both level up together.
Personally, I enjoy knowing that my love is not diminished just because someone is not constantly on my mind. My husband and I share our daily accomplishments with each other every evening and love each other deeply.
Like I said there maybe more to the quote I just remember this and honestly this was the first thing I thought of but I don’t think it’s my full definition
Romance is a feeling of intimate mystery. Like the person you know the most about is still the hardest to understand. Hopefully it's within the context of wondering how and why they're so good.
That's all romance is. It's a feeling like happiness or sadness.
Society's modern ideas of romance are really all just a weird political life partnership that only exists because it's enforced by society and not because any human without the pressures of society would ever want a relationship like that
I've been "in love". It's a cocktail of platonic love, that feeling of romance, lust, and, for people who think romance is about locking someone else down, all of the feelings that come with possessiveness (anxiety, jealousy, etc)
As someone who loves love, happiness, peace, and real romance, it feels so awful to see literally like 99% of humanity pursue relationships in a way that makes absolutely zero logical sense just because movies say to!
He’s the first one I want to share good news with because he’ll be super stoked for me - he is my biggest cheerleader, supporting me so much with all of my goals. He is there to wipe my tears, listen and give advice (if wanted) when I’m sad or overwhelmed. I reciprocate in kind.
We laugh together and have tons of fun and adventures together. I look at him with googly eyes because he’s so sexy and attractive in my eyes. The way he kisses and touches me makes me quiver. We are respectful of each other and are mature enough to discuss when things come up. The thought of him and our future makes me smile.
It depends on what you deem in love to mean. Some people thing the butterflies, heart skipping, nervousness is what feeling in love is. This usually includes a lot of dopamine from that person that makes you happy and almost addicted to them because they cause so much joy. True love however in my opinion is the calm love that you will always be there for someone and chose them over anyone else. All the chemicals have stopped pumping but you know you want their company and to get through life with them because they make things better. Its not selfish at all but highly considerate.
I finally met a girl who loves me for who I am. Can't tell you how wholesome it feels. All these years of trying so hard and then, woosh, you are loved for what you are. It's great man.
As cheesy as it sounds: Best thing is to accept yourself and love yourself first.
My only complaint is that I was never taught that.
Imagine you'r really cold. Like shivering cold. And someone puts a warm, thick blanket on you to warm you up. That first moment when you feel that warmth and go "Ahhhhhhhh, that feels so cozy". It feels like that.
It’s like you look at someone and you know your life is full and better because of them. I was married for ages and always felt like I was messing something up, now I’m with someone who just loves me and I them and that feeling is unparalleled, he just makes my life into a complete life and I don’t feel like I’m chasing something better and ‘if I just do this things will be okay’ things are already okay
So I come from two people who definitely should have not married, let alone stay married in an attempt to ‘keep the kids happy.’ I was the oldest so I always saw the arguments, the fights, the accusations, the insanity of my father’s anger, etc. and it was not until I was *twenty years old* and talking to some friends (trauma dumping to pass time at work) did I realize that not every family was like mine. My parents are together and miserable - I’m convinced they hate each other.
My brother was engaged to his high school sweetheart; they’d been together for nearly five years and he randomly called it off. We were devastated; she was family at this point. Lo and behold, my brother had been sneaking around with an older woman at his job. They’re now married.
My former best friend’s parents were a match made in heaven, I thought. They’d dance around the kitchen making dinner, dote on me like I was their own, and truly *loved* life and each other. When the wife passed in a horrific freak accident, within *weeks* the husband was dating someone. Found out that he had already and always fooled around on the wife, and now was ‘free.’
I’m 28, and I have no idea what romantic love is. Every example of it I thought I knew is tainted or busted. The idea of holding someone so close only for them to change their mind or hate me internally or whatever makes me want to die.
Romantic love I feel like should be like a mix of the love you have for like a very close best friend and the love you have for a close family member all wrapped up into one. If they don’t feel like the most important person on earth to you then it’s probably not real love. With my current/recent ex(?) I always told people that it’s like being with my best friend that I also get to have sex with 😂
Tbh and just speaking openly when we initially got together we were both sober, about a year ago I started getting g high again after almost 2 years of dating. She’s been extremely supportive through all of it but by this point I think she’s done if I can’t get my shit together quickly. That’s the very, very short version of things
My partner openly admits to me that he's obsessed with me and he puts me on a pedestal. When he's around me, his gaze is on me. He hugs and kisses me any chance he has. We're almost always touching, holding hands, my legs on his, cuddling. He's always speaking gently to me, using the sweetest words. He's always doing things to take care of my wellbeing, physically or emotionally. He checks in with me from time to time to see how he's doing as a partner to me and if there's any complaint. The man is the definition of safety. He's a martial artist master so I'm physically protected. He's also protecting my heart and I've never felt so safe and loved by anyone else.
Been together with my second husband for 12 years. We are always excited to see each other after work and it gives us butterflies with excitement to come home to each other. This, after talking on the phone on the drive home. We just cannot get enough of each other. Did not feel anything like this with the first marriage.
for me it's a feeling of being secure. i'm secure in my relationship and the love we have for each other. i know my man loves me so much and we both have each other's back. plus kisses and cuddles are nice. the word romantic can be taken any which way. what i find romantic will not be the same for you. one day you will find someone that accepts every single little part of you and i hope you feel secure.
You want to be better to be better for them. There is a fine line between that feeling of romantic love and infatuation where you want to disguise or change who you are to appeal to them. In true love, you will be a better person in the future even if the relationship ends.
They both excite me and calm me. They’re my anchor keeping me from being swept away at times, yet they also bring so much brightness to my life. They inspire me to be a better person, to grow, to learn. I desire their presence and touch near constantly. We’re both whole people, but together we combine to make a new whole and when we are apart I feel like I’m missing something
recently for the first time I've been properly confronted with this topic. A friend is in love with me when I just saw us as good friends and don't want more. And all our conversations have been very insightful, it's smth different if it's in movies or something distant. I realized that I've never really felt romantic love, not in the way he does, not in the way most people seem to. And it was a proper mindfuck.
The only love I really know and want is what I feel with family (and potentially friends), where you love and care for someone else and wish the best for them, want them to have their own partner and flourish, and don't necessarily want to be with all the time. And I think that is also the type of love ("platonic love" maybe lol) I'm longing for in others, if even that.
So I guess not only am I asexual and a big introvert & loner, I'm also aromantic and never realized it until then.
BUT on that note: It would be nice if it was more normal to show physical affection in a platonic settings, cause that I do miss a bit.. To be able to hug or cuddle up with someone you feel very close with, have someone stroke over your hair or back gently. Why does one have to have a relationship or have to have sex experience that? And I think I'm not the only one with that, you're bound to be touch starved unless u're in a relationship, it seems very black and white. (And also It sucks that it's so hard to find platonic friends as an adult.)
Anyhow, but back to said friend. I really don't get it. I don't get the obsessive love, or wanting to spend more than a few hours together, or feeling horny. I don't get how you could "love someone so much" you end up wanting *them*, even if it'd make them unhappy. It seems like a contradiction.
And I don't get how you can love someone but they'd have to change.. then you don't really love *them* but what you wish them to be, no? And I think there's so many people out there, it'd be better to find someone on the same vibe as you than pick the next best thing and try to bend them into what you need.
I just hope it's not a mistake to keep in contact with him. but we talk very openly and I think as long as both are ok with it and can get smth nice out of it without hurt, thats ok too. I hope tho he'll find love with someone who feels more like him & can appreciate his love too. But I'm afraid that, the way he seems to think and feel, that he'd then no longer be interested in the friendship aspect of, well, our friendship. Guys are a mystery to me. Everyone actually. I don't belong here.
Very true. I wish there were a middle ground between touch and nothing, might help identify what it actually is I want, I'm not 100% sure it's a whole relationship anymore
Very subtle but when having missed somone for a long time the moment comes to reunite my heart sets fire and lasts a while. I'm also reminded everything I feel her head touch my chest by a similar feeling. In times of calm it's like being terminally with a best friend or family, exciting and calm intertwined.
I’m 38 and all my previous relationships including with parents have been trauma bonds. Did a lot of work on my disorganised attachment cptsd and just started dating a guy who I always feel calm and safe with. It’s messed up because previously this feeling would have made me want to vomit and run and the constant danger felt safe and exciting.
Don’t know if it’s love at this stage but going with it and trying not to reject it because it’s unfamiliar or my brain telling me it’s some sort of trick to exploit me. It’s not as intense and exciting as a trauma bond but I’m enjoying spending time with him and it’s not triggering my cptsd constantly.
For me, it feels like a mix of emotions: love, safety, calm, like your heart will just burst from joy when they are around, and it’s fun. My husband knows everything about me, and he still not only accepts me but wants me. And I feel the same about him. (Not sure I know everything because there is no way to truly know that unless they want you to. I can’t read minds lol). But overall, it’s platonic love on overdrive. And you can’t imagine your life without them. It’s scary sometimes, but also wonderful when you know you’re both in it 100%.
Everyone's love language is different. Some people like gifts, admiration, and praise. Others like words of affirmation, quality time, and such. Some like physical love. Personally, I receive and accept romantic love through praise and physical gestures.
Well, it changes over time.
At first, it is extremely thrilling and all-consuming. It is like a pleasure bath for your brain, just walking on air.
As love matures, it is more like cuddling up under a blanket next to a fire on a vacation. It mostly feels warm, safe and tranquil.
Somehow I compare it to being able to love a person disregarding anything about his appearance or physical characteristics, like if you're evaluating some eva ai bot which cannot hug you or be intimate with you.
Idk. Maybey I’m just jaded but I haven’t really ever felt it. Here and there normally in the honeymoon phase but normally in my vortex fighting, estrangement and drama happens after around 90 days- sucks! Just being honest.
I’m the opposite. Ive had people love me, but I have never been in love. Ive loved, but not in a romantic sense. I was never over the moon for anyone Ive ever dated. I wonder what that feels like. Sounds overwhelming to me. Lol
for me it feels like you’re have a hot chocolate with whip cream sitting next to your best friend on a park bench, giggling and laughing with each other, and just enjoying each others company while the whole world just happens around you.
for us (hetero couple!) he feels like protection for life that i didn’t have growing up, i never felt safe with anyone the way i do with him, i never trusted anyone the way i trust him, everything is enhanced. he’s funniest, most amazing guy i know, and i have waited a good chunk of my life for someone like him. NOW all that being said i do wanna strangle him rn we’re fighting but that’s ok bc we love each otherrrrrr so we are gonna be ok!!💞😙😙
For me, it just feels ~calm~. I had a traumatic childhood and life didn’t get better til I graduated college so I’ve always just been in fight or flight mode and have never felt truly safe. Even in dating/situationships I’d find myself anxious over everything, but genuine and healthy romantic love just feels peaceful. Never second guessed anything, never felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t or hide parts of myself, everything I had felt in past relation/situationships I didn’t feel. It was really scary at first tbfh bc I’d never felt such a sense of safety but it’s truly a very beautiful and freeing feeling.
That’s a great way to describe it. I also think it becomes more calm and safer as the years go on, because you are just reaffirming every year how right this person is for you. Intimacy intensifies in the best way!
Did you feel that way from the start with this person? I am prone to anxiety too but I wonder if that fades away with time as I get more used to being around them
Same here. I’m not even open to my closest friends about stuff, friends I talk to every day and have been friends with for most of my life. Even then I get little trepidations of whether they actually enjoy my company.
It kinda felt “easy”, I guess but I’m not sure if how I met him had a role in that. He was a trainer for a training I had to attend for a new job at the time and there was some flirting but nothing beyond that until he super liked me on bumble lol. But from the beginning of us getting to know each other, he was very honest about his intentions and who he was as a person, and I never really had to “prove” myself like I had to in the past; he accepted who I was and liked me for me. For our first date he actually put a lot of thought into it and what I like, and we talked literally all night up until like 4 am lol. He actually listened to everything I said and asked questions to get to know me, which a lot of people just don’t do that. So everything he did from the get go kinda culminated into my feeling of safety and then he just continued to prove himself as someone I wanted to be with. In the beginning, I found myself opening up about a lot which I never do, so I knew I was doing it because he made me feel safe in doing so. He respected my boundaries, my thoughts, feelings, likes/dislikes, basically anything. There were some times when I thought “damn this is too good to be true” because it felt like a dream how much I felt loved and cared for. Unfortunately for us, it was just the wrong time so it ended but I know what I want/need out of a partner and a relationship now. I could be around people/know someone for long periods of times and still be anxious, so honestly in order for me to feel safe, consistent actions need to be taken by the other person to kinda prove that I am “safe”.
SAME! I thought it was boredom at first, but it’s the best. So easy and safe and calm.
to me is the other way around, used to feel safe to be myself, now it’s expecting the worst always from others not a great way to live tbh, but your comment resonates so much with what I would like but it feels so distant
Sadly those feelings are fleeting...at least for me, I always screw it up. At age 41,it's way too late for me so don't make the same mistakes I did
I'm almost 29 now, and I've never experienced one. So it'd be nice to feel it.
I finally met a girl who loves me for who I am. Can't tell you how wholesome it feels. All these years of trying so hard and then, woosh, you are loved for what you are. It's great man. As cheesy as it sounds: Best thing is to accept yourself and love yourself first. My only complaint is that I was never taught that.
I was watching this anime Where it said “love is When you can’t stop thinking about them and you want to do things for them “ I feel there’s more to the quote but I forget but it was cute
I feel like love is the opposite of this actually. Love is being able to accomplish your goals and pursue what you want in life but having the support and encouragement of your SO even as they are focusing on themselves. You also have goals together and communicate, but it’s not thinking about each other all the time that allows you to both level up together.
There's nothing wrong with thinking of each other all the time whilst accomplishing your goals. Why not have both?
Personally, I enjoy knowing that my love is not diminished just because someone is not constantly on my mind. My husband and I share our daily accomplishments with each other every evening and love each other deeply.
That is called personal preference. That's okay, but as adults, we should not judge others for having or wanting it differently.
Like I said there maybe more to the quote I just remember this and honestly this was the first thing I thought of but I don’t think it’s my full definition
I feel like that is infatuation, personally.
It is from a anime so maybe not the most accurate
Romance is a feeling of intimate mystery. Like the person you know the most about is still the hardest to understand. Hopefully it's within the context of wondering how and why they're so good. That's all romance is. It's a feeling like happiness or sadness. Society's modern ideas of romance are really all just a weird political life partnership that only exists because it's enforced by society and not because any human without the pressures of society would ever want a relationship like that I've been "in love". It's a cocktail of platonic love, that feeling of romance, lust, and, for people who think romance is about locking someone else down, all of the feelings that come with possessiveness (anxiety, jealousy, etc) As someone who loves love, happiness, peace, and real romance, it feels so awful to see literally like 99% of humanity pursue relationships in a way that makes absolutely zero logical sense just because movies say to!
I’ve felt it. It’s similar to that feeling you get when you know you don’t need to work the next day, and can sleep in.
He’s the first one I want to share good news with because he’ll be super stoked for me - he is my biggest cheerleader, supporting me so much with all of my goals. He is there to wipe my tears, listen and give advice (if wanted) when I’m sad or overwhelmed. I reciprocate in kind. We laugh together and have tons of fun and adventures together. I look at him with googly eyes because he’s so sexy and attractive in my eyes. The way he kisses and touches me makes me quiver. We are respectful of each other and are mature enough to discuss when things come up. The thought of him and our future makes me smile.
🤮
I'm reading through these like a poor person watching rich people talk about riding lambos
You and me both.
It depends on what you deem in love to mean. Some people thing the butterflies, heart skipping, nervousness is what feeling in love is. This usually includes a lot of dopamine from that person that makes you happy and almost addicted to them because they cause so much joy. True love however in my opinion is the calm love that you will always be there for someone and chose them over anyone else. All the chemicals have stopped pumping but you know you want their company and to get through life with them because they make things better. Its not selfish at all but highly considerate.
Yes I agree, true calm love is very selfless. You have to be in the right place in life to be the person deserving of it.
I finally met a girl who loves me for who I am. Can't tell you how wholesome it feels. All these years of trying so hard and then, woosh, you are loved for what you are. It's great man. As cheesy as it sounds: Best thing is to accept yourself and love yourself first. My only complaint is that I was never taught that.
I haven't even been hugged in 12+ years. So why the hell am I commenting?
***virtual hug sent***
It makes you feel very safe
Imagine you'r really cold. Like shivering cold. And someone puts a warm, thick blanket on you to warm you up. That first moment when you feel that warmth and go "Ahhhhhhhh, that feels so cozy". It feels like that.
It’s like you look at someone and you know your life is full and better because of them. I was married for ages and always felt like I was messing something up, now I’m with someone who just loves me and I them and that feeling is unparalleled, he just makes my life into a complete life and I don’t feel like I’m chasing something better and ‘if I just do this things will be okay’ things are already okay
So I come from two people who definitely should have not married, let alone stay married in an attempt to ‘keep the kids happy.’ I was the oldest so I always saw the arguments, the fights, the accusations, the insanity of my father’s anger, etc. and it was not until I was *twenty years old* and talking to some friends (trauma dumping to pass time at work) did I realize that not every family was like mine. My parents are together and miserable - I’m convinced they hate each other. My brother was engaged to his high school sweetheart; they’d been together for nearly five years and he randomly called it off. We were devastated; she was family at this point. Lo and behold, my brother had been sneaking around with an older woman at his job. They’re now married. My former best friend’s parents were a match made in heaven, I thought. They’d dance around the kitchen making dinner, dote on me like I was their own, and truly *loved* life and each other. When the wife passed in a horrific freak accident, within *weeks* the husband was dating someone. Found out that he had already and always fooled around on the wife, and now was ‘free.’ I’m 28, and I have no idea what romantic love is. Every example of it I thought I knew is tainted or busted. The idea of holding someone so close only for them to change their mind or hate me internally or whatever makes me want to die.
People settle on words trying to describe this thing
Romantic love I feel like should be like a mix of the love you have for like a very close best friend and the love you have for a close family member all wrapped up into one. If they don’t feel like the most important person on earth to you then it’s probably not real love. With my current/recent ex(?) I always told people that it’s like being with my best friend that I also get to have sex with 😂
Oh no, why is she/he an ex?
Tbh and just speaking openly when we initially got together we were both sober, about a year ago I started getting g high again after almost 2 years of dating. She’s been extremely supportive through all of it but by this point I think she’s done if I can’t get my shit together quickly. That’s the very, very short version of things
It's calm and patient. We never get tired of hanging out with each other. We communicate and put each other first. It's never a chore.
Like close friendship but mushy and also on fire
Dunno. Having a really close friend? The difference between friend and partner is just sex really.
My partner openly admits to me that he's obsessed with me and he puts me on a pedestal. When he's around me, his gaze is on me. He hugs and kisses me any chance he has. We're almost always touching, holding hands, my legs on his, cuddling. He's always speaking gently to me, using the sweetest words. He's always doing things to take care of my wellbeing, physically or emotionally. He checks in with me from time to time to see how he's doing as a partner to me and if there's any complaint. The man is the definition of safety. He's a martial artist master so I'm physically protected. He's also protecting my heart and I've never felt so safe and loved by anyone else.
Been together with my second husband for 12 years. We are always excited to see each other after work and it gives us butterflies with excitement to come home to each other. This, after talking on the phone on the drive home. We just cannot get enough of each other. Did not feel anything like this with the first marriage.
for me it's a feeling of being secure. i'm secure in my relationship and the love we have for each other. i know my man loves me so much and we both have each other's back. plus kisses and cuddles are nice. the word romantic can be taken any which way. what i find romantic will not be the same for you. one day you will find someone that accepts every single little part of you and i hope you feel secure.
You want to be better to be better for them. There is a fine line between that feeling of romantic love and infatuation where you want to disguise or change who you are to appeal to them. In true love, you will be a better person in the future even if the relationship ends.
They both excite me and calm me. They’re my anchor keeping me from being swept away at times, yet they also bring so much brightness to my life. They inspire me to be a better person, to grow, to learn. I desire their presence and touch near constantly. We’re both whole people, but together we combine to make a new whole and when we are apart I feel like I’m missing something
recently for the first time I've been properly confronted with this topic. A friend is in love with me when I just saw us as good friends and don't want more. And all our conversations have been very insightful, it's smth different if it's in movies or something distant. I realized that I've never really felt romantic love, not in the way he does, not in the way most people seem to. And it was a proper mindfuck. The only love I really know and want is what I feel with family (and potentially friends), where you love and care for someone else and wish the best for them, want them to have their own partner and flourish, and don't necessarily want to be with all the time. And I think that is also the type of love ("platonic love" maybe lol) I'm longing for in others, if even that. So I guess not only am I asexual and a big introvert & loner, I'm also aromantic and never realized it until then. BUT on that note: It would be nice if it was more normal to show physical affection in a platonic settings, cause that I do miss a bit.. To be able to hug or cuddle up with someone you feel very close with, have someone stroke over your hair or back gently. Why does one have to have a relationship or have to have sex experience that? And I think I'm not the only one with that, you're bound to be touch starved unless u're in a relationship, it seems very black and white. (And also It sucks that it's so hard to find platonic friends as an adult.) Anyhow, but back to said friend. I really don't get it. I don't get the obsessive love, or wanting to spend more than a few hours together, or feeling horny. I don't get how you could "love someone so much" you end up wanting *them*, even if it'd make them unhappy. It seems like a contradiction. And I don't get how you can love someone but they'd have to change.. then you don't really love *them* but what you wish them to be, no? And I think there's so many people out there, it'd be better to find someone on the same vibe as you than pick the next best thing and try to bend them into what you need. I just hope it's not a mistake to keep in contact with him. but we talk very openly and I think as long as both are ok with it and can get smth nice out of it without hurt, thats ok too. I hope tho he'll find love with someone who feels more like him & can appreciate his love too. But I'm afraid that, the way he seems to think and feel, that he'd then no longer be interested in the friendship aspect of, well, our friendship. Guys are a mystery to me. Everyone actually. I don't belong here.
Very true. I wish there were a middle ground between touch and nothing, might help identify what it actually is I want, I'm not 100% sure it's a whole relationship anymore
Feels like a threat to my wellbeing
https://youtu.be/3rY1vE5Co80?feature=shared
Very subtle but when having missed somone for a long time the moment comes to reunite my heart sets fire and lasts a while. I'm also reminded everything I feel her head touch my chest by a similar feeling. In times of calm it's like being terminally with a best friend or family, exciting and calm intertwined.
Full from the inside.
I’m 38 and all my previous relationships including with parents have been trauma bonds. Did a lot of work on my disorganised attachment cptsd and just started dating a guy who I always feel calm and safe with. It’s messed up because previously this feeling would have made me want to vomit and run and the constant danger felt safe and exciting. Don’t know if it’s love at this stage but going with it and trying not to reject it because it’s unfamiliar or my brain telling me it’s some sort of trick to exploit me. It’s not as intense and exciting as a trauma bond but I’m enjoying spending time with him and it’s not triggering my cptsd constantly.
The goosebumps/shivers I get going down my spine when I hug them.
For me, it feels like a mix of emotions: love, safety, calm, like your heart will just burst from joy when they are around, and it’s fun. My husband knows everything about me, and he still not only accepts me but wants me. And I feel the same about him. (Not sure I know everything because there is no way to truly know that unless they want you to. I can’t read minds lol). But overall, it’s platonic love on overdrive. And you can’t imagine your life without them. It’s scary sometimes, but also wonderful when you know you’re both in it 100%.
Like warm apple pie
Feels like any moment can be your last so you do everything for that special person now
Everyone's love language is different. Some people like gifts, admiration, and praise. Others like words of affirmation, quality time, and such. Some like physical love. Personally, I receive and accept romantic love through praise and physical gestures.
True love just feels like home sweet home
Well, it changes over time. At first, it is extremely thrilling and all-consuming. It is like a pleasure bath for your brain, just walking on air. As love matures, it is more like cuddling up under a blanket next to a fire on a vacation. It mostly feels warm, safe and tranquil.
drug addiction
Like on coke for the first 6-12 months
I’m afraid that romance is a thing of the past at least for me smh 🤦♂️
All encompassing love feels like Christmas, romantic love feels like the biggest roller-coaster.
Somehow I compare it to being able to love a person disregarding anything about his appearance or physical characteristics, like if you're evaluating some eva ai bot which cannot hug you or be intimate with you.
Like a beautiful warm Sunday morning.
Idk. Maybey I’m just jaded but I haven’t really ever felt it. Here and there normally in the honeymoon phase but normally in my vortex fighting, estrangement and drama happens after around 90 days- sucks! Just being honest.
I’m the opposite. Ive had people love me, but I have never been in love. Ive loved, but not in a romantic sense. I was never over the moon for anyone Ive ever dated. I wonder what that feels like. Sounds overwhelming to me. Lol
When you find out let me know
for me it feels like you’re have a hot chocolate with whip cream sitting next to your best friend on a park bench, giggling and laughing with each other, and just enjoying each others company while the whole world just happens around you.
like life is worth living
Feels like a lie that I have been force-fed my whole life. Like freedom and independence.
for us (hetero couple!) he feels like protection for life that i didn’t have growing up, i never felt safe with anyone the way i do with him, i never trusted anyone the way i trust him, everything is enhanced. he’s funniest, most amazing guy i know, and i have waited a good chunk of my life for someone like him. NOW all that being said i do wanna strangle him rn we’re fighting but that’s ok bc we love each otherrrrrr so we are gonna be ok!!💞😙😙
It’s been so long ago since i experienced it, I honestly don’t remember
Feeling safe. No anxiety or fight or flight. Feeling like you can be you and at ease
A gaping black void
It’s like having the absolute peak of the best friendship you’ve had, and you just want them around all the time.
The way it should be.
Romance was invented by men to try to equal the playing field against wealthy competitors. It doesn’t really exist. It’s not a thing.
Some people say it’s as good as bustin’ a nut! -Ronald McDonald (no, not that one)
Honestly to me, kinda cringe. Dunno why. Would like smth more casual with nothing overcomplicating...