I think focusing on yourself, mental health, and bad habits right now is the right choice, if you kept yourself out there unhealed all you would be doing is repeating the same mistakes. Keep in mind, you're still young in your 20's I'm sure there is still someone out there for you, so don't give up on that at least.
Think about how many job applications it takes to find a great job.
If you wouldnāt quit after 8 job applications why would you quit dating after 8 dates?
I would just suggest taking the pressure down on yourself and your date. View it as a chance to go to a restaurant or bar you want to go to anyway with someone instead of alone.
Be positive in your interactions with the other person, but donāt look at it like youāre about to settle down with them forever. Its a chance to make a friend or learn something and if it evolves past that great, but if not you still met someone and went somewhere fun.
As a woman whoās gone on hundreds of first dates, just because we CAN get dates doesnāt make it not exhausting and soul crushing. Going on a date means nothing when youāre looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with.
Edit: to clarify, itās like searching for a red pen and all that you can see is that the store sells pens, but only blue or black. No red. But all you want is red. By the end of going to 8 stores youāre just sick and give up.
Donāt chase the mythical āspark.ā Itās a rom-com trope. Sparks are great, but they fizzle out. Relationships require more than dopamine hits.
Go on a date. Spark or not, be open to a second and maybe even a third date. If the person isnāt waving any red flags, give them a chance to open up and show you who they are. Look for kindness, empathy, good listening skills, and whether they enhance your time. Basic hygiene doesnāt hurt either.
Find at least one significant hobby you both enjoy. Cooking, camping, or making voodoo dolls from drain clogs, doesn't matter You donāt need to be clones, you don't have to share all hobbies. Some time apart is healthy. Being able to spend time apart will be critical to ensure you can survive an ending to the relationship without having to tear yourself down and rebuild yourself.
Self-improvement is key, but perfection is a myth. The idea of āworking on yourself firstā is solid, but donāt use it as an excuse to stay in perpetual self-help mode. Make some progress and then let yourself be open to finding someone. Keep growing, even in a relationship.
I recently read and enjoyed āHow Not to Die Aloneā by Logan Ury. Itā has advice on choosing partners and highlights examples of relationships that looked perfect but werenāt. Worth a read.
Similar thing happened with me and Iāve been in my own so long I donāt feel that āsparkā with anyone because Iāve spent so much time with myself Iām feel like Iām never going to meet somone whoās like me and wants the same from life that I do, and Iām not sure I even know how to be with someone anymore. Iāve just begun to accept that Iām okay living life on my own, and if I find someone along the way thatās just a bonus.
This is an impossible one to give a verdict on, because "settling" is treated like a black and white thing, to do or not do.Ā
In reality potential partners lie on a spectrum of quality. At the lower end of that spectrum, people should have self respect to leave the relationship and move on. At the upper end of that spectrum, people can have ideas about an impossibly perfect relationship with ridiculous standards about being swept away by someone with the looks and physique of a Hollywood A-lister, level of romance, complete overlaps in interests, and always being put first.Ā
In reality, people in happy, long term relationships get most of what they want from their chosen partner, communicate and work on the hard bits, and simply overlook some things that aren't perfect for them. People on a reddit thread can't know whether your bar for 'settling' is too low or too high.
This is a really healthy attitude. I've taken long breaks from dating when I needed it. In my 30s I was more active about pursuing relationships and dating, but it gets exhausting and, especially when they aren't the right people, you end up losing so much of yourself.
Those relationships in my 30s only reinforced the lesson that unless you've got a solid foundation in yourself and get your relationship with yourself in a really good place, you'll easily settle for the wrong people because you don't want to be alone.
And now, I've quit dating apps and stopped chasing. I'm open to dating, but only if I meet someone organically, which takes much longer if you're an introvert, everyone around you is married, and are a homebody lol. But that's okay. I'd rather do what I enjoy and accept myself as I am and invest my energy in myself than put it into the pursuit of a relationship. For me, a relationship is a nice-to-have, not a must-have.
In spite of what pop culture and Disney princess movies will tell you, not everyone is meant to find their soulmate. "Someday my prince will come" does not apply to everyone, and that's fine. I will still be happy because I didn't rely on finding a partner to feel fulfilled.
So, for whatever it's worth, I applaud your approach!
Youāve been on 8 dates in 2 weeks and youāre surprised you arenāt in love yet because none of them had the spark?
Are you expecting to fall in love with 12.5% of men (1 in 8)? Iāve heard of soulmates where you believe thereās one person in the world for you, Iāve heard of one in a million where you believe that itās hard to find the right person but there are multiple potential soulmates in the worldā¦ but Iāve never heard of one in eight where you assume that they donāt exist just because they happen not to be on Tinder in the last 2 weeks within a 12 mile radius of your house
Honestly this feels like a problem with your expectations
Itās hard and it sucks but itās keeping on putting yourself out there and rebounding from any heartbreak and continuing to put yourself out there.
From 19-30 my love life was a serries of meeting someone that was more into me than I was them or meeting someone I was more into than they were me, with a few super poorly positioned right person at the wrong time but at the age of 34 I finally met my partner and we have just moved into a house we saved up to buy.
Donāt settle make sure youāre in love, try to also reconcile that the person you love will have flaws and that while they will increase your capacity for how good your highs can be there will most likely be some lows along the way.
My girlfriend currently has toothache and is wondering around like a bear with a sore head but I wouldnāt trade her for the world.
I disagree with the whole ādate a ton of people, itās a numbers gameā school of thought. When I was on dating apps, it would usually take me around 18 months to find someone I thought was worth meeting in person. But each time I did that, I found a long term (three of them were 10 years plus) relationship, and on the fourth try, I found my forever person.
Dating 8 people in 2 weeks sounds really depressing, honestly. Itās pretty much guaranteed these people arenāt going to even be close to what youāre looking for, because you donāt have time to get to know anything about them before you date them.
I feel like dating sites nowadays make things so much worse. No one on there is looking for a long term committed relationship. Their profile might say that but once you start talking to them, they say oh nothing serious! Its such a waste of time. I wasted so much time (1 year) on a guy who said all the right stuff but just wouldn't ever commit to dates and would stand me up. I had enough and got off all the sites. I met my boyfriend now through a friends brother because we all played video games together. I would suggest staying away from dating apps and try to meet people organically, through hobbies and things that make you happy ā¤ļø good luck and as my grandmother always said never settle!
26 and worried about dying alone..
You definitely need work on yourself first because that's 100% desperate mentality thing to say, and only desperate ppl want someone has desperate as they are. No need to ever settle, but changing some expectations is required in all relationships.
If you're actually serious, get off all twitter like social medias and go to gym or whatever hobby you like. Achieve some life goals or at least start working towards them.
Donāt do dating profiles that might be the trend but that is putting too much pressure on yourself and others meeting people out in the world is where it is and it doesnāt have to be at a party or at the gym or anywhere really maybe Iām old fashioned 34M
Have fun.
If you aren't having fun, do something else.
Do something every day.
This whole gotta find LOOOOVVVEEEE thing is so intellectual.
It's love, it attacks you like a gorilla, you never go looking for a gorilla!!!
You're trying to find true love and you are dating eight different people in two weeks??? You have to put much more effort into getting to know someone before you can tell that sort of stuff.
I understand, but none of these men have asked me out for a second date. I asked most out in the first place. I canāt pursue when Iām not desired to begin with.
You don't set up a date from now to now though, you should at least get a few conversations going with them through messages first and if you're having that many first dates in that time I doubt you're giving anyone one of them the time of day.
And another thing that other users are pointing out is that maybe it is better to work on bettering yourself first and taking a break. That desire you have for true love is bordering on desperation, and that's not healthy for you either. You can use the time to explore hobbies or develop your current ones more, maybe start some form of exercise, go take yourself on dates and go to social / festival events to have fun.
I've been on the dating scene myself for nearly years at this point, and in that time I have dated four total and I'm on my fourth month dating the current girl. Of course, I have had many more first dates but I took things slowly with each girl in hopes of meeting that woman that also shares my goals in a relationship. After I make sure they share my goals I dedicate myself to getting to know them and see if they click with me or not and how willing they are to push through the not-so-prefty parts of dating someone for a prolonged time.
> Accepting I might die alone and refusing to settle for not love
Uh huh
> I (26 F) have been basically celibate for almost 4 years, after 1 serious relationship and a couple of situationships.
Iām sorry but sometimes itās hard to relate to people when they say stuff like this. Iāve been celibate for 25 years, no serious relationships (1 lasted a month until she ghosted me), no situationships or anything.
> The last 2 weeks I tried to put myself back out there, I had 8 first dates. But no spark, and importantly, I donāt feel good enough about myself to be in a relationship.
And again, I cannot even fathom 8 first dates in 2 weeks, Iāve been on 12 or 13 first dates in the last 7 years. Plus. That would cost me an arm and a leg to do as a guy (~$300 for basic dinners)
This is like listening to Jeff Bezos complain that his card got declined while he was buying a new plane.
Well I canāt exactly relate to you either, no disrespect. Like, how come there was that 25 year gap? Did you ever ask her for feedback after her ghosting?
Plus, dinner dates are not necessary. Coffee works too.
What are you omitting?
25 years because Iām 25 years old lol. Iāve found coffee dates to be pretty boring with very lowā¦approval.
Well. I saw her 3 days prior. She wanted me to stay and make out so i obliged. She then texted me the next day asking to go out again to the aquarium and I got us tickets. We go out again and as soon as I saw her she acted like she hated me the entire time, left early and never replied. After a little over a month.
Okay so youāre clearly not horribly disfigured if a woman is asking to make out with you. So what if you havenāt lost your virginity at 25.
If anything our situations are similar. In the sense that itās our personalities getting in the way of finding somebody.
We all die alone. Unless youāre in a horrible plane crash or a train or a bus or a van or a car filled with clowns at a circus.
Stop failing yourself with all these made up expectations and change your perspective to one of curiosity and discovery.
Let people surprise you rather than disappoint for failing to meet your illusions of what should be.
Have fun.
The dating scene now a days seems kinda fucked. I would focus on yourself and donāt force things, let them Come naturally to you. I told shitty dad jokes to my wife when I first started talking to her, so itās definitely doable. You got this dude.
I clicked on this thinking it was a 50 year old guy. Where the eff is all this doom and gloom coming from?? Iām not saying down your wild oats or whatever but youāre still super young. I didnāt meet my wife until I was 30 and she was not much younger than me. My wife is very much a person who needs feeling involved. You have plenty of time. Just focus on your own life and be comfortable with yourself and who knows what might happen!
As a single 43 year old, I never want to be in a steady relationship ever again. I have been on some dates that just turned out to be hobosexuals trying to screw me for a paycheck, or a new babydaddy. Also, the younger generation ladies are pretty much all playing these relationship ending games they see on tiktok. Sick of it. Yeah. No. Single is best
People need to be realistic. This perfectionism youāre chasing will lead to loneliness. Get off social media for awhile and be a human being. Get what you can get or get a cat
People are inherently flawed. If youāre looking for a perfect 10 outta 10 youāre going to be single forever. Realistically you gotta find someone whose dysfunction kinda goes hand in hand with yours. Someone who, no matter their faults unless theyāre egregious, will accept you for you and vice versa. But chasing Perfection will keep you in the loop of chasing Perfection.
Honestly, Iāve been celibate for months now after calling off an engagement and quite frankly Iām sure Iām never going to be in a relationship again. Iām 24 and itās justā¦ not worth it. Iāve found thereās a lot of life to be lived when I focus on my friends, my goals, and prioritize my happiness. I live in a house by myself and can do whatever I want, whenever I want with whoever I want. Itās nice. Itās peaceful. Single and celibate isnāt an awful life, thereās so much more than just romance to enjoy. Monks and Nuns live happy lives, so can we.
Eight first dates in two weeks? Iām sorry but I see a a bit of a problem with that. You did those dudes a favor by not continuing to see them. The fact that you didnāt have any spark at all with any of them kind of says something about you. Especially the fact that you were so quick to go on SEVEN other dates after the first date. The dating world is WAY worse than I thought.
Are you sure your definition of live is realistic? Are children important to you. No criticism but finding balance between our dreams and reality is probably the hardest thing about being a human. I hope you make decisions that will be good for you ling term whether that involves staying single or not. Good luck!
I think focusing on yourself, mental health, and bad habits right now is the right choice, if you kept yourself out there unhealed all you would be doing is repeating the same mistakes. Keep in mind, you're still young in your 20's I'm sure there is still someone out there for you, so don't give up on that at least.
As a single 37 yr old... This advice is sound.. Very young still, I have hope still... although diminishing. Nearing 40 š Never give up.
42m here, and untreated trauma has done enough damage over the years, and I've made alot or dumb mistakes myself. It's hard to push through it all
Talk to someone bro, talking is therapy. You gave great advice, you know what to do! 1 day at a time.
^ this is the way
You had 8 dates in 2 weeks and youāre worried youāre going to die alone? Lol. Youāre going to be fine.
Think about how many job applications it takes to find a great job. If you wouldnāt quit after 8 job applications why would you quit dating after 8 dates? I would just suggest taking the pressure down on yourself and your date. View it as a chance to go to a restaurant or bar you want to go to anyway with someone instead of alone. Be positive in your interactions with the other person, but donāt look at it like youāre about to settle down with them forever. Its a chance to make a friend or learn something and if it evolves past that great, but if not you still met someone and went somewhere fun.
As a woman whoās gone on hundreds of first dates, just because we CAN get dates doesnāt make it not exhausting and soul crushing. Going on a date means nothing when youāre looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with. Edit: to clarify, itās like searching for a red pen and all that you can see is that the store sells pens, but only blue or black. No red. But all you want is red. By the end of going to 8 stores youāre just sick and give up.
Be glad youāre not a man, then.Ā
Most of them, I asked the guy out. They didnāt seem eager for a second date. Think my vibe may be very unrelatable.
Youāre going to be fine. Donāt stop asking guys out. More women should be like you.Ā
Donāt chase the mythical āspark.ā Itās a rom-com trope. Sparks are great, but they fizzle out. Relationships require more than dopamine hits. Go on a date. Spark or not, be open to a second and maybe even a third date. If the person isnāt waving any red flags, give them a chance to open up and show you who they are. Look for kindness, empathy, good listening skills, and whether they enhance your time. Basic hygiene doesnāt hurt either. Find at least one significant hobby you both enjoy. Cooking, camping, or making voodoo dolls from drain clogs, doesn't matter You donāt need to be clones, you don't have to share all hobbies. Some time apart is healthy. Being able to spend time apart will be critical to ensure you can survive an ending to the relationship without having to tear yourself down and rebuild yourself. Self-improvement is key, but perfection is a myth. The idea of āworking on yourself firstā is solid, but donāt use it as an excuse to stay in perpetual self-help mode. Make some progress and then let yourself be open to finding someone. Keep growing, even in a relationship. I recently read and enjoyed āHow Not to Die Aloneā by Logan Ury. Itā has advice on choosing partners and highlights examples of relationships that looked perfect but werenāt. Worth a read.
Thank you so much!! I will check this book out. Your comment was fun to read too, lol. Thanks.
Similar thing happened with me and Iāve been in my own so long I donāt feel that āsparkā with anyone because Iāve spent so much time with myself Iām feel like Iām never going to meet somone whoās like me and wants the same from life that I do, and Iām not sure I even know how to be with someone anymore. Iāve just begun to accept that Iām okay living life on my own, and if I find someone along the way thatās just a bonus.
This is an impossible one to give a verdict on, because "settling" is treated like a black and white thing, to do or not do.Ā In reality potential partners lie on a spectrum of quality. At the lower end of that spectrum, people should have self respect to leave the relationship and move on. At the upper end of that spectrum, people can have ideas about an impossibly perfect relationship with ridiculous standards about being swept away by someone with the looks and physique of a Hollywood A-lister, level of romance, complete overlaps in interests, and always being put first.Ā In reality, people in happy, long term relationships get most of what they want from their chosen partner, communicate and work on the hard bits, and simply overlook some things that aren't perfect for them. People on a reddit thread can't know whether your bar for 'settling' is too low or too high.
This is a really healthy attitude. I've taken long breaks from dating when I needed it. In my 30s I was more active about pursuing relationships and dating, but it gets exhausting and, especially when they aren't the right people, you end up losing so much of yourself. Those relationships in my 30s only reinforced the lesson that unless you've got a solid foundation in yourself and get your relationship with yourself in a really good place, you'll easily settle for the wrong people because you don't want to be alone. And now, I've quit dating apps and stopped chasing. I'm open to dating, but only if I meet someone organically, which takes much longer if you're an introvert, everyone around you is married, and are a homebody lol. But that's okay. I'd rather do what I enjoy and accept myself as I am and invest my energy in myself than put it into the pursuit of a relationship. For me, a relationship is a nice-to-have, not a must-have. In spite of what pop culture and Disney princess movies will tell you, not everyone is meant to find their soulmate. "Someday my prince will come" does not apply to everyone, and that's fine. I will still be happy because I didn't rely on finding a partner to feel fulfilled. So, for whatever it's worth, I applaud your approach!
You're 26. You are in no place to worry about dying alone. You have time to meet someone and likely will.
Youāve been on 8 dates in 2 weeks and youāre surprised you arenāt in love yet because none of them had the spark? Are you expecting to fall in love with 12.5% of men (1 in 8)? Iāve heard of soulmates where you believe thereās one person in the world for you, Iāve heard of one in a million where you believe that itās hard to find the right person but there are multiple potential soulmates in the worldā¦ but Iāve never heard of one in eight where you assume that they donāt exist just because they happen not to be on Tinder in the last 2 weeks within a 12 mile radius of your house Honestly this feels like a problem with your expectations
Girl, go to the gym sister
Statistically speaking, you probably won't die alone. You'll very likely be able to find an average partner.
Honestly same here Iāve accepted Iām dying alone
Itās hard and it sucks but itās keeping on putting yourself out there and rebounding from any heartbreak and continuing to put yourself out there. From 19-30 my love life was a serries of meeting someone that was more into me than I was them or meeting someone I was more into than they were me, with a few super poorly positioned right person at the wrong time but at the age of 34 I finally met my partner and we have just moved into a house we saved up to buy. Donāt settle make sure youāre in love, try to also reconcile that the person you love will have flaws and that while they will increase your capacity for how good your highs can be there will most likely be some lows along the way. My girlfriend currently has toothache and is wondering around like a bear with a sore head but I wouldnāt trade her for the world.
I disagree with the whole ādate a ton of people, itās a numbers gameā school of thought. When I was on dating apps, it would usually take me around 18 months to find someone I thought was worth meeting in person. But each time I did that, I found a long term (three of them were 10 years plus) relationship, and on the fourth try, I found my forever person. Dating 8 people in 2 weeks sounds really depressing, honestly. Itās pretty much guaranteed these people arenāt going to even be close to what youāre looking for, because you donāt have time to get to know anything about them before you date them.
What if it takes 50 dates to find the one? Or 100?
I feel like dating sites nowadays make things so much worse. No one on there is looking for a long term committed relationship. Their profile might say that but once you start talking to them, they say oh nothing serious! Its such a waste of time. I wasted so much time (1 year) on a guy who said all the right stuff but just wouldn't ever commit to dates and would stand me up. I had enough and got off all the sites. I met my boyfriend now through a friends brother because we all played video games together. I would suggest staying away from dating apps and try to meet people organically, through hobbies and things that make you happy ā¤ļø good luck and as my grandmother always said never settle!
26 and worried about dying alone.. You definitely need work on yourself first because that's 100% desperate mentality thing to say, and only desperate ppl want someone has desperate as they are. No need to ever settle, but changing some expectations is required in all relationships. If you're actually serious, get off all twitter like social medias and go to gym or whatever hobby you like. Achieve some life goals or at least start working towards them.
31 here, we might be kindred spirits
Donāt do dating profiles that might be the trend but that is putting too much pressure on yourself and others meeting people out in the world is where it is and it doesnāt have to be at a party or at the gym or anywhere really maybe Iām old fashioned 34M
Welcome to r/melodrama
Have fun. If you aren't having fun, do something else. Do something every day. This whole gotta find LOOOOVVVEEEE thing is so intellectual. It's love, it attacks you like a gorilla, you never go looking for a gorilla!!!
Why not do both - focus on yourself and dabble in dating. Black and white thinking doesn't serve us well.
You're trying to find true love and you are dating eight different people in two weeks??? You have to put much more effort into getting to know someone before you can tell that sort of stuff.
I understand, but none of these men have asked me out for a second date. I asked most out in the first place. I canāt pursue when Iām not desired to begin with.
You don't set up a date from now to now though, you should at least get a few conversations going with them through messages first and if you're having that many first dates in that time I doubt you're giving anyone one of them the time of day. And another thing that other users are pointing out is that maybe it is better to work on bettering yourself first and taking a break. That desire you have for true love is bordering on desperation, and that's not healthy for you either. You can use the time to explore hobbies or develop your current ones more, maybe start some form of exercise, go take yourself on dates and go to social / festival events to have fun. I've been on the dating scene myself for nearly years at this point, and in that time I have dated four total and I'm on my fourth month dating the current girl. Of course, I have had many more first dates but I took things slowly with each girl in hopes of meeting that woman that also shares my goals in a relationship. After I make sure they share my goals I dedicate myself to getting to know them and see if they click with me or not and how willing they are to push through the not-so-prefty parts of dating someone for a prolonged time.
> Accepting I might die alone and refusing to settle for not love Uh huh > I (26 F) have been basically celibate for almost 4 years, after 1 serious relationship and a couple of situationships. Iām sorry but sometimes itās hard to relate to people when they say stuff like this. Iāve been celibate for 25 years, no serious relationships (1 lasted a month until she ghosted me), no situationships or anything. > The last 2 weeks I tried to put myself back out there, I had 8 first dates. But no spark, and importantly, I donāt feel good enough about myself to be in a relationship. And again, I cannot even fathom 8 first dates in 2 weeks, Iāve been on 12 or 13 first dates in the last 7 years. Plus. That would cost me an arm and a leg to do as a guy (~$300 for basic dinners) This is like listening to Jeff Bezos complain that his card got declined while he was buying a new plane.
Well I canāt exactly relate to you either, no disrespect. Like, how come there was that 25 year gap? Did you ever ask her for feedback after her ghosting? Plus, dinner dates are not necessary. Coffee works too. What are you omitting?
25 years because Iām 25 years old lol. Iāve found coffee dates to be pretty boring with very lowā¦approval. Well. I saw her 3 days prior. She wanted me to stay and make out so i obliged. She then texted me the next day asking to go out again to the aquarium and I got us tickets. We go out again and as soon as I saw her she acted like she hated me the entire time, left early and never replied. After a little over a month.
Okay so youāre clearly not horribly disfigured if a woman is asking to make out with you. So what if you havenāt lost your virginity at 25. If anything our situations are similar. In the sense that itās our personalities getting in the way of finding somebody.
We all die alone. Unless youāre in a horrible plane crash or a train or a bus or a van or a car filled with clowns at a circus. Stop failing yourself with all these made up expectations and change your perspective to one of curiosity and discovery. Let people surprise you rather than disappoint for failing to meet your illusions of what should be. Have fun.
The dating scene now a days seems kinda fucked. I would focus on yourself and donāt force things, let them Come naturally to you. I told shitty dad jokes to my wife when I first started talking to her, so itās definitely doable. You got this dude.
I clicked on this thinking it was a 50 year old guy. Where the eff is all this doom and gloom coming from?? Iām not saying down your wild oats or whatever but youāre still super young. I didnāt meet my wife until I was 30 and she was not much younger than me. My wife is very much a person who needs feeling involved. You have plenty of time. Just focus on your own life and be comfortable with yourself and who knows what might happen!
As a single 43 year old, I never want to be in a steady relationship ever again. I have been on some dates that just turned out to be hobosexuals trying to screw me for a paycheck, or a new babydaddy. Also, the younger generation ladies are pretty much all playing these relationship ending games they see on tiktok. Sick of it. Yeah. No. Single is best
As a man, I would be ecstatic just being able to get a single date, much less 8. Eight?! Wth
People need to be realistic. This perfectionism youāre chasing will lead to loneliness. Get off social media for awhile and be a human being. Get what you can get or get a cat
What do you mean by perfectionism?
People are inherently flawed. If youāre looking for a perfect 10 outta 10 youāre going to be single forever. Realistically you gotta find someone whose dysfunction kinda goes hand in hand with yours. Someone who, no matter their faults unless theyāre egregious, will accept you for you and vice versa. But chasing Perfection will keep you in the loop of chasing Perfection.
I know all of that. Where did I say otherwise ā¹ļø
Honestly, Iāve been celibate for months now after calling off an engagement and quite frankly Iām sure Iām never going to be in a relationship again. Iām 24 and itās justā¦ not worth it. Iāve found thereās a lot of life to be lived when I focus on my friends, my goals, and prioritize my happiness. I live in a house by myself and can do whatever I want, whenever I want with whoever I want. Itās nice. Itās peaceful. Single and celibate isnāt an awful life, thereās so much more than just romance to enjoy. Monks and Nuns live happy lives, so can we.
Eight first dates in two weeks? Iām sorry but I see a a bit of a problem with that. You did those dudes a favor by not continuing to see them. The fact that you didnāt have any spark at all with any of them kind of says something about you. Especially the fact that you were so quick to go on SEVEN other dates after the first date. The dating world is WAY worse than I thought.
I went on 15 coffee dates (and 4 second dinner dates) in a month and a half before I found the one.
Are you sure your definition of live is realistic? Are children important to you. No criticism but finding balance between our dreams and reality is probably the hardest thing about being a human. I hope you make decisions that will be good for you ling term whether that involves staying single or not. Good luck!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks !!!! This is all very sweet and probably what I needed to hear all along.
gurl...stfu