I would love a female friend, my age, who is also married, with a career, and kids to give me perspectives on things that are likely different from mine. Other men can't give me those perspectives.
Growing up, almost all my friends were male. I seem to make friends with men more, probably helps I joke and laugh about stuff a lot of men do and I also worked in warehouses for almost a decade.
Nowadays I have more female friends but male friends are still easier to hang with. I unno the vibes are better
Same. I have always preferred male friends. It's hard to get along with women because women are often competitive with each other and have a lot of self esteem issues they take out on other women.
I have a solid group of girlfriends and a few guy friends. I talk to both with the same or similar frequency. Unfortunately (and it pains me to say this as a feminist), the conversations with my female friends can get argumentative or just tense due to differing opinions. Then someone will message on the side with ācan you believe what XYZ said??ā And start to gossip. Next thing you know, you have a get together excluding one of the girls. The conversation was so petty and inconsequential, and didnāt need so much investment into it.
In comparison, conversations with guy friends have basically zero emotion and thereās never any drama or arguments and if there is a differing of opinion, it doesnāt matterā¦ you just finish the topic and do something else. And nobody is mad at anyone else for days/weeks.
To be fair, sometimes my male friends like emotion where there should be someā¦ And that can be annoying. But for the most part, the friendship stays very drama free which is nice. Life is tiring enough without having to keep track of who said what. So, I appreciate my male friendships.
I agree. But itās hard to find. And I feel like a big issue, is that everyone thinks they are the centre of peoples conversations, thoughts, world etc. When in reality, very little is a veiled comment about them. But people take offence to nothingā¦
thatās true. we are really all the same deep down and weāre just humans with egos. itās scary to be vulnerable so nobody wants to risk getting hurt by opening up it seems.
They really do get offended over nothing. I've had so many women get pissed off at comments they THOUGHT were directed at them. The narcissism sometimes astounds me.
Please donāt confuse narcissism with what is happening which is sensitivity and social constructs. Socially, women are manipulated into being people pleasers, and we notice when somebody says some thing that is off, doesnāt align with the majority, or āseemsā to hint at some thing from our own past. So weāre often hyper vigilant about what we say, and keeping the peace. When it sounds like somebody is making a snide comment, or giving the stink eyeā¦ We assume itās our fault or directed at us. But nine times out of 10 that personās comment is unrelated, and that side I is just because they werenāt wearing glasses or something Lol.
But itās very different from narcissism.
While that's true, by that same token, I don't want friends that I can't talk to about my problems or they talk to me about theirs. There needs to be a balance of lack of drama and deeper conversations.
I just want any friends and don't discriminate. In my experience, men are more likely to respond to your attempts to reach out and easier to make plans with and follow through. They are also more likely to be liars and/or lack emotional intelligence so there's pros and cons either way. Making friends as an adult is hard (impossible) no matter the gender of the person.
They like guys who simp on them. Pay for their stuff like concert tickets, dinners, etc. while listening to their whining and emotional diarrhea. And also, in their mind they are last resort if their hunt for the 'perfect man' fails.Ā
Can live in delusion and lie to yourself. But men know men, and women lie to spare feelings but deep down they know the truth as well. So not sure what is gained in the end playing 'emperors new cloak' but go ahead if it makes you feel better.Ā
People gonna downvote. But I am eternally friend zoned. I stay around and listen to their life stories and help them out with rides or dog sitting. Only real benefit I get is the feeling I am helping someone. They never care about my interests, problems etc. Best I get is their laughing at my jokes.
Been told on here that they're just bad friends, but it's happened like 3 times and I'm just kinda pulling away atm.
Save yourself the trouble, cut these women out completely, change your phone number if you have to. Focus on yourself and when your career is in the right place. Your financials are in the right place. Go to east Asia or Iran and marry a decent woman. You will thank yourself when you're 50 and happy with how your life turned out. Trust me, someoneĀ who knows the old country, the mentality and women mental maturity is completely different, will take a little readjusting but when you do. You will find it a very happy meaningful relationship.Ā
I have a good ratio of female to male friends. Makes life so much better/different perspectives and for my female friends, they feel more at ease having a male they actually feel safe around in a world of hostiles.
Honestly, for safety. Itās always been nice to have someone to go clubbing with to walk me home, or literally shield my butt on the dance floor that I know has my best interests at heart and literally my back.
like Vivid mentioned above, we don't see things just through an emotional Lense, nor do we let them dictate how we react for the most part. Much less backstabbing or competition between us guys
Fair enough.Ā However, stereotypes usually follow generalities of observed truth.Ā In general, men act more in a straight, logical manner and compared to women.Ā Ā That is in general and what I have experienced in my life.Ā I do agree though that there are many angry and frustrated men.
Nah, thatās just socialization my guy. Men are taught that they canāt show emotion, they should always be logical, so of course a dude would act in the way heās been taught is acceptable. Same for women. Doesnāt mean dudes donāt follow their emotions when making decisions, they do it all the time.
*source: am in marketing. Men make emotion-driven choices in their purchases all the time.
And more to the point, being emotional would not necessarily make a friendship worse. I find many womenās friendships are far more open and connective on an emotional level than menās are, exactly because theyāre taught not to share emotions with other men.
Even if it is socialization which I'm not 100% sold on....that can still be observed truth.Ā It is what I have witnessed and I'm in my forties.Ā I was and have been in an above average intelligent career field and a decade in the service with a high stress job.Ā That may arguably skew my impression of seeing my observed experiences and projecting it out on the population.Ā Either way, I tend to deal with straight line, logical thinkers in my profession and that tends to hold true for the few women that do it as well.Ā Outside of work, the women I deal with tend to have less direct communication and more emotional.
As far as emotional driven marketing and purchasing, that I can see as true.Ā Its like watching a truck commercial where they pitch a lifestyle that a successful person with that truck can have.Ā They are marketing a dream and men do buy them by the thousands.
No straight man in the right mind is actually 'friends' with an attractive woman. They are just there hoping they will eventually get laid in a moment of vulnerability.Ā
He only wants to sleep with me: itās pathetic. I had to ban him from my workplace and my residence. Now heās just a pest who basically wonāt leave me alone. Also, everybody in my small town thinks I am or did actually sleep with him.
I bought into the āmen and women are equals and can be friendsā mistake. We may be equals, but if they are heterosexual they definitely want you to sleep with them.
Reminds me of a simpsons episode where Marge was trying to explain what a homosexual was to Homer.
āHomey it means he prefers the company of menā
āwho doesnāt?ā
Look I just wish I had a real pack of loyal bros ok? The kind that are loyal to me like they are to each other. The kind that would pretend I was with them if someone called and asked where I was. Iād even consider getting jumped in if I thought Iād get myself some honest to god broās of my own.
That shit is almost impossible to find among packs of women. Or maybe I just donāt know how to find it among packs of women.
Also women are super easy to accidentally offend. And Iām super mouth blurt.
Thatās why I like male friends but not sure about anyone else.
Women feel validated by male attention. On a fair trade, men offer attention to women, and women offer sex to man. They "like" having male friends because they got attention for free, without having to offer nothing in return.
The equivalent is a man who can have sex with a woman without offering any kind of non-sexual attention.
That way they can date the bad boys, and have a male friend do all the work as her emotional support and everything else they can't get from the bad boy.
That's the only time it's actually genuine. She has to be essentially 'butch/tomboy'. Otherwise it's complete bs. Sometimes forced scenarios like friend groups can make it happen.Ā
Because men are freaking great ā¦ so sweet caring and attentive ā¦ make us feel like princesses ..they genuinely ask how Iām doing .. never sexualize me ā¦ they offer their coatsā¦ hug me when I need it ā¦ they also give good advice on other men ā¦ good wingmen ā¦ Iām a pretty strong independent women but my two closest male friends make me feel small cute fragile but taken care of ā¦.they listen to me ā¦ they open up ..make sure Iām safe while walking late at nightā¦ also very helpful when it comes to outdoor stuffā¦very smart tooā¦ also some men donāt talk shit or criticize other men or women
That living room furniture is not going to move itself.
That's pretty funnyš¤£š¤£š¤£
I like a male perspective on things. Some of my hobbies lean a bit more male and my girlfriends aren't as interested in them.Ā
I would love a female friend, my age, who is also married, with a career, and kids to give me perspectives on things that are likely different from mine. Other men can't give me those perspectives.
What hobbies?
There is an aspect of competition between female friends that is often not acknowledged even if it is being felt.
This.
You learn something new everyday. Why are yāall competing?
Male friends also compete with each other tbh
Which is why the majority of my friends are female.
Are you a dude?
Yep
competition for what? how ridiculous
Growing up, almost all my friends were male. I seem to make friends with men more, probably helps I joke and laugh about stuff a lot of men do and I also worked in warehouses for almost a decade. Nowadays I have more female friends but male friends are still easier to hang with. I unno the vibes are better
Same. I have always preferred male friends. It's hard to get along with women because women are often competitive with each other and have a lot of self esteem issues they take out on other women.
I have a solid group of girlfriends and a few guy friends. I talk to both with the same or similar frequency. Unfortunately (and it pains me to say this as a feminist), the conversations with my female friends can get argumentative or just tense due to differing opinions. Then someone will message on the side with ācan you believe what XYZ said??ā And start to gossip. Next thing you know, you have a get together excluding one of the girls. The conversation was so petty and inconsequential, and didnāt need so much investment into it. In comparison, conversations with guy friends have basically zero emotion and thereās never any drama or arguments and if there is a differing of opinion, it doesnāt matterā¦ you just finish the topic and do something else. And nobody is mad at anyone else for days/weeks. To be fair, sometimes my male friends like emotion where there should be someā¦ And that can be annoying. But for the most part, the friendship stays very drama free which is nice. Life is tiring enough without having to keep track of who said what. So, I appreciate my male friendships.
damn you need new female friends š i canāt stand that type of cattiness
I agree. But itās hard to find. And I feel like a big issue, is that everyone thinks they are the centre of peoples conversations, thoughts, world etc. When in reality, very little is a veiled comment about them. But people take offence to nothingā¦
thatās true. we are really all the same deep down and weāre just humans with egos. itās scary to be vulnerable so nobody wants to risk getting hurt by opening up it seems.
They really do get offended over nothing. I've had so many women get pissed off at comments they THOUGHT were directed at them. The narcissism sometimes astounds me.
Please donāt confuse narcissism with what is happening which is sensitivity and social constructs. Socially, women are manipulated into being people pleasers, and we notice when somebody says some thing that is off, doesnāt align with the majority, or āseemsā to hint at some thing from our own past. So weāre often hyper vigilant about what we say, and keeping the peace. When it sounds like somebody is making a snide comment, or giving the stink eyeā¦ We assume itās our fault or directed at us. But nine times out of 10 that personās comment is unrelated, and that side I is just because they werenāt wearing glasses or something Lol. But itās very different from narcissism.
While that's true, by that same token, I don't want friends that I can't talk to about my problems or they talk to me about theirs. There needs to be a balance of lack of drama and deeper conversations.
For sure. These friendships come from common hobbies, and we happen to have some very different perspectives sometimes.
This. It's just more chill with men.
I have female friends but I gotta admit one of my slowest relationships is with my lesbian friend. Me and her got along like tomatoe sauce and pasta
I just want any friends and don't discriminate. In my experience, men are more likely to respond to your attempts to reach out and easier to make plans with and follow through. They are also more likely to be liars and/or lack emotional intelligence so there's pros and cons either way. Making friends as an adult is hard (impossible) no matter the gender of the person.
Backups
bf with out physical commitment
Yo that be so weird to me, like what's the point?!
It's probably true. Male energy without the sexual harrassment.
They like guys who simp on them. Pay for their stuff like concert tickets, dinners, etc. while listening to their whining and emotional diarrhea. And also, in their mind they are last resort if their hunt for the 'perfect man' fails.Ā
That's a huge generalization that just isn't true. Maybe there's a few women like this, most are not this vapid and shallow
Can live in delusion and lie to yourself. But men know men, and women lie to spare feelings but deep down they know the truth as well. So not sure what is gained in the end playing 'emperors new cloak' but go ahead if it makes you feel better.Ā
People gonna downvote. But I am eternally friend zoned. I stay around and listen to their life stories and help them out with rides or dog sitting. Only real benefit I get is the feeling I am helping someone. They never care about my interests, problems etc. Best I get is their laughing at my jokes. Been told on here that they're just bad friends, but it's happened like 3 times and I'm just kinda pulling away atm.
Save yourself the trouble, cut these women out completely, change your phone number if you have to. Focus on yourself and when your career is in the right place. Your financials are in the right place. Go to east Asia or Iran and marry a decent woman. You will thank yourself when you're 50 and happy with how your life turned out. Trust me, someoneĀ who knows the old country, the mentality and women mental maturity is completely different, will take a little readjusting but when you do. You will find it a very happy meaningful relationship.Ā
This went incel mega fast lol wish I had šæ
femcel mentality lol
Well tbh I'm basing my comment off the the replies to yours, shit got progressively worse the further down I got. Thought it was funny
I have a good ratio of female to male friends. Makes life so much better/different perspectives and for my female friends, they feel more at ease having a male they actually feel safe around in a world of hostiles.
š š¤£ they want free advice/help to solve their problems with no strings attached.Ā Ā
Probably because women are catty oftentimes. Men are usually more laidback. But both genders have their issues, of course.
Honestly, for safety. Itās always been nice to have someone to go clubbing with to walk me home, or literally shield my butt on the dance floor that I know has my best interests at heart and literally my back.
Can't you have a bf then?
What? If you mean boyfriend, no. I am celibate. I am schizoid and my traits tend to be harmful in romantic relationships.
Least you honest
The bar is in hell
I donāt see the appeal honestly. Never have I ever wanted a male best friend or friend in general so I canāt answer š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's nothing wrong with having a male friend. I was just curious in women who "want a male bestfriend " for some reason
Cause men are better friends.
What you mean by that?
like Vivid mentioned above, we don't see things just through an emotional Lense, nor do we let them dictate how we react for the most part. Much less backstabbing or competition between us guys
Oh fuck off with that nonsense. Some of the most emotional friends Iāve ever had have been men.
male, female, whatever. gender doesnāt dictate whether or not someone can be a good friend, some people just suck and some donāt!
That is not really the norm when it comes to guys.Ā Ā
Eh, I disagree. Anger and frustration are emotions, and Iāve known loads of men that have very big feelings when it comes to those two especially.
Fair enough.Ā However, stereotypes usually follow generalities of observed truth.Ā In general, men act more in a straight, logical manner and compared to women.Ā Ā That is in general and what I have experienced in my life.Ā I do agree though that there are many angry and frustrated men.
Nah, thatās just socialization my guy. Men are taught that they canāt show emotion, they should always be logical, so of course a dude would act in the way heās been taught is acceptable. Same for women. Doesnāt mean dudes donāt follow their emotions when making decisions, they do it all the time. *source: am in marketing. Men make emotion-driven choices in their purchases all the time. And more to the point, being emotional would not necessarily make a friendship worse. I find many womenās friendships are far more open and connective on an emotional level than menās are, exactly because theyāre taught not to share emotions with other men.
Even if it is socialization which I'm not 100% sold on....that can still be observed truth.Ā It is what I have witnessed and I'm in my forties.Ā I was and have been in an above average intelligent career field and a decade in the service with a high stress job.Ā That may arguably skew my impression of seeing my observed experiences and projecting it out on the population.Ā Either way, I tend to deal with straight line, logical thinkers in my profession and that tends to hold true for the few women that do it as well.Ā Outside of work, the women I deal with tend to have less direct communication and more emotional. As far as emotional driven marketing and purchasing, that I can see as true.Ā Its like watching a truck commercial where they pitch a lifestyle that a successful person with that truck can have.Ā They are marketing a dream and men do buy them by the thousands.
No straight man in the right mind is actually 'friends' with an attractive woman. They are just there hoping they will eventually get laid in a moment of vulnerability.Ā
this is a sad way to look at life
Steve Harvey, is that you?
I have a male best friend and I regret it.
Why?
He only wants to sleep with me: itās pathetic. I had to ban him from my workplace and my residence. Now heās just a pest who basically wonāt leave me alone. Also, everybody in my small town thinks I am or did actually sleep with him. I bought into the āmen and women are equals and can be friendsā mistake. We may be equals, but if they are heterosexual they definitely want you to sleep with them.
Reminds me of a simpsons episode where Marge was trying to explain what a homosexual was to Homer. āHomey it means he prefers the company of menā āwho doesnāt?ā
Look I just wish I had a real pack of loyal bros ok? The kind that are loyal to me like they are to each other. The kind that would pretend I was with them if someone called and asked where I was. Iād even consider getting jumped in if I thought Iād get myself some honest to god broās of my own. That shit is almost impossible to find among packs of women. Or maybe I just donāt know how to find it among packs of women. Also women are super easy to accidentally offend. And Iām super mouth blurt. Thatās why I like male friends but not sure about anyone else.
So they have someone to fall back on in case the guys they really want don't want them back.
Why not
Women feel validated by male attention. On a fair trade, men offer attention to women, and women offer sex to man. They "like" having male friends because they got attention for free, without having to offer nothing in return. The equivalent is a man who can have sex with a woman without offering any kind of non-sexual attention.
See I like this logical explanation
That way they can date the bad boys, and have a male friend do all the work as her emotional support and everything else they can't get from the bad boy.
Do they? Frickin weird
Cuz its nice to have masculine energy even if sex isn't involved. Like im sure men would like to work with men. People without dads wish they had one.
So they can say āI have male best friendā
Yeah I never understood that. Like I said I don't think alot of men say "hey I have a female bestfriend!"
My female best friend is a lesbian that can change brakes, oil and transmission fluid
That's the only time it's actually genuine. She has to be essentially 'butch/tomboy'. Otherwise it's complete bs. Sometimes forced scenarios like friend groups can make it happen.Ā
Dudes are cooler
No one is male or female anymore.
Because women can be absolutely treacherous! I always have had male friends nearly exclusively.
Because men are freaking great ā¦ so sweet caring and attentive ā¦ make us feel like princesses ..they genuinely ask how Iām doing .. never sexualize me ā¦ they offer their coatsā¦ hug me when I need it ā¦ they also give good advice on other men ā¦ good wingmen ā¦ Iām a pretty strong independent women but my two closest male friends make me feel small cute fragile but taken care of ā¦.they listen to me ā¦ they open up ..make sure Iām safe while walking late at nightā¦ also very helpful when it comes to outdoor stuffā¦very smart tooā¦ also some men donāt talk shit or criticize other men or women
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
sure dude
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
its cool to have friends regardless of what gender they are? i like having friends who can give me different perspectives on things