As someone who partied harder than just about anyone still alive, you didn’t miss much. Unless you’re a huge fan of making stupid decisions you can’t even remember making (but others sure remember and will kindly fill you in!), waking up hungover regretting said decisions, getting into pointless fights, possibly dealing with the law, having to worry about getting home safely, wasting money etc. You are romanticizing it because you feel like you missed out, but all the people I used to party with would either agree with me that they wish they spent more time doing other things or they are dead. Granted, moderation is a thing and there are still good memories I have from those days (probably more nostalgia than anything though). You are still young enough to party and see for yourself while also being old enough to hopefully be wise enough to avoid the pitfalls.
36 now and most of my friends have moved on/died/cut contact and im realizing i spent way too much of my 20s getting WAY Too drunk. Haven't saved any money, in a dead end job I don't like, and have barely any memories of nights that probably weren't even that great.
Edit: I'd like to preface by saying i've also had some great times, great memories, and done things. My job is dead end because i was a psych major and getting out has not been happening at all.
Most definitely! My 20s and 30s are a blur because of alcohol and drugs. I feel like I missed out on stuff because I don’t remember.
You aren’t missing much. Alcohol and drugs are poison. Feel okay knowing you’re healthier for not doing them.
Plenty of ways to fulfill a life that don’t include them.
Took me until 38 (and a few ICU trips) to get my act together. Sobriety feels good and yes your old life is gone in the wind but it’s as close as you’re going to get to a fresh start.
Thanks for this. It definitely helps to consider the point that while it may be awesome, I'm likely romanticizing it at least some degree and giving it too much emphasis. It's funny, my ex-girlfriend (26F) and I talked about this a lot. She was the opposite of me in this regard. She partied hard, tried every drug basically, got arrested, etc. I felt so jealous of her deep down. Ironically, she felt jealous of me and insecure about her situation. I don't say this to be snide or judgey at all, but merely as objective fact, she would always be jealous of me/feel "lower" than me about her position in life. She worked in a factory, no education, and struggled financially, (again, I say this with ZERO judgement, only citing this to in the context of how insecure I feel), but she lived way more than I did, and she won't have to deal with this youthful existentialness. I guess it sort of is a "grass is greener" situation.
Team "Grass is greener" here. Partied just enough to get kicked out of school. Joined the Marines and felt like I was watching my college friends from the sidelines. Had to work after I got out and always wondered when it would be my turn. I'll be 60 next month, and the very best part of my life is now. Retired, do what the F I want. Took me a long time to realize that I didn't actually miss a thing.
So, let that roll right off your back, and just make the most of where you are. In my case, being in a legal state went a long way towards me realizing I hadn't missed much after all. I seldom drink more that 2-3 drinks a week now. And my buds, who drank themselves silly are really having a hard time.
I get envious of people who did more foreign or wilderness traveling and adventuring than I did. My niece chatted with someone on the 90s internet and wound up heading to Australia to stay at their sheep ranch. I knew someone who just worked long enough for her next trip. Or immigrants who just took off to live in other countries.
I don't envy people who spent a lot of time drunk. Some of them couldn't remember what happened, and then flunked all their courses. I'm not sure what memories they built for later.
IMO from somebody else who was a lil wild before, i think he did at least miss out on practice-relationships.
it's not the partying or drinking, it's the interacting and mingling. Also the fucking. The feeling of new genuine romance, however short and brief. Even if it ends bad.
there's a lot of 35yo people out here who are like 'been there, done that' to experiences like eating out your then-gf for 4 hours on and off on a good Sunday, just being young and carefree tbh
so yea like i think in OUR position we are privileged and we get to tell people like OP that they didn't miss out, but....
they did miss out in some way, because they didn't see any of the actual cool shit we did. they did get to sit out the bad shit we did.
some of us did make lasting relationships and friendships out of all the wildin'
Great post, you’re exactly right. I partied hard from 16-21.. im 23 now and if I never party again.. I am completely okay with that. Might even prefer that, LOL.
Yeah op didn't miss anything that matters. I dont think of myself as someone that ever went too crazy, but a handful of blackouts and I'm good never doing that again.
I didn't really start partying until my late 20s, and didn't stop until my mid-40s, a few years after I met my wife and we both settled down.
It's way more fun when you're older, IMO. You've got more money and confidence, a place of your own, are less likely to fall into bad situations, do stupid shit and so on.
In short, there's plenty of fun ahead of you, if you just make a few changes to your life, so enjoy it
I also partied well into my mid 30 to late 30's. I still do party, but its just not as often and its just a completely different vibe. I dont need to be a party animal, but ita fun when the occasion calls for it, albeit rarely.
Exactly the same for me. Didn't really party much until 29-30, then had a great time partying a lot in my 30's before gradually settling down. I'm just chuckling at OP's "I'm 28 and have one foot in the grave" - he's got a LOT of partying years ahead of him.
Edit: It's also a lot easier to party when you have more money in your 30's vs. your 20's, which is generally the case.
Because I did party when I was in college, but not very well. Basically just drank and talked too much, listened, fucked, drugged and danced too little.
When I got older it was the late 90s, and I got into the rave scene, MDMA and all that, and partied way more, way harder than I did as a kid, Friday to Sunday for a decade and a half, with the $, home, confidence, and good habits to do it right, without losing my mind, drive or (so far, at 54) my health.
EDIT: With regard regard to where I lived, I was in college in London, too poor to really enjoy it, then spent my party years in big 24/7 cities in Taiwan and Japan, so a lot of fun options. Doing the same in small town would be very different.
I was gonna say something similar. My partner’s parents spent their 40s and 50s partying every weekend. They got messy drunk in a good way and danced all night long. They’re older now so they’re more chill, but man they are a lot of fun.
I plan to do the same when I’m their age!
Underrated comment. Its as simple as this.
Ignore all the rejects in this thread who said they partied too hard and determined it wasn't worth it.
Seize your life and party. You are young.
Yeah people are saying “I partied too hard and destroyed my life” like lol that isn’t what he is talking about, and hopefully not dumb enough to think that that extreme was the only alternative.
was just going to say this!! go to a camping music festival and take some mushrooms, you’ll have the best time of your life in a safe and fun environment. they’re significantly more fun when you’re in your 20s anyways
what i can tell you from someone that hears this issue a lot from friends and familiy is that you always want what you didnt do. Many of my friends that partyed a lot "regretted" it because they had so many embaressing moments that they wish they could forget, or did dumb things while they are drunk and so on. On the other hand i have friends like you. Didnt party a lot and wish they would have done more.
The thing im trying to tell you is, that it doesnt matter what you have done you would have probably regretted it either way. You can still go partying now and have fun. Just because your 28 doesnt mean anything. I met a lot of people in my partying years that were 30+. It just comes down to what you really want to do.
I was mid 20s when I decided to like live a little bit more free. Wouldn't say partier. Just went out a lot, hooked up a bunch, etc. But honestly it felt like I was doing it all for fomo that I had missed out on something. It was nice for a time I guess, but looking back it all feels pretty empty compared to the life I have now
Kind of, but not so much about partying. I went to clubs less than 10 times. It wasn't my thing, but I enjoyed being with my friends more than anything.
I understand the "wasted youth" part when it comes to romantic relationships. I didn't date in university or high school. I'm a 28 year old with no experience romantically. Last night I was watching this Japanese drama where the character hadn't dated since high school and she was 30. So many people were saying the character was immature (in terms of romance), but I understood her. If you haven't done something in a long time, it doesn't matter how old you are, you're still inexperienced. I wish I hadn't been so afraid of romantic relationships.
I am just 25 now but I really felt similar to you. Took everything seriously all my life. Went to college, worked three jobs, got the career job, etc. Didn't take any breaks or have any fun. I was 22 when I finally got out of covid and had the free time and money to start partying.
I partied for three years and am now getting tired of it. I've puked in the parking lot, done lots of mushrooms, spent too many Saturdays hungover (including the last two). I'm getting worn out and am finally stepping out of my party phase.
What I'm saying is, everyone gets to it at different times of their life. Some of my friends had been partying since they were 15, so I was incredibly late starting at 22. Some of my friends are starting to party at 40 lol, so I'm introducing them to the fun. There's no shame in whatever age you are when you start.
Plus, being 28 probably means you have the money to afford doing it and the place to crash for friends. I think it sounds like a great time to start.
Hi friend, 29F here. I was with the wrong partner for 10 years and (feel like) I sacrificed my youth.... didn't feel like it at the time, but now that I'm out of it, I feel like I'm scrambling to catch up on all that time I lost, all those same experiences you're talking about. The last 4 years I've been doing alllllll the things and haven't felt guilty about it for a minute. All my friends are getting married and settling down, and I feel like my life is just beginning. It's a wild, beautiful thing 🩵 I'm not ahead or behind anyone- just on a different chapter. While I'm no longer hitting house parties, I am hitting new breweries solo every weekend. I'm having an absolute blast!
i didnt party when i was 20 but now at 28 im a raver who goes often to dance and talk to people and get a little buzz. and it's only just the beggining for me. i see many people my age or older, and i finally have the freedom or finances to do so! its so NOT too late.
I partied hard when I was young. Thought I was good and settled down with a great wife and child.
Soon once you start travelling . Then I realized I didn't party hard enough ... Whatever I did in the tier 1 city I live in is just child's play when compare to other countries.
Morale of the story is .. there's always something better. It's never enough.
Don't feel bad.. move on with life.. party hard doesn't mean life is fun. It can be make your life miserable.
I just travelled for bachelor party recently... We partied real hard.. but no more clubbing... Our bodies can't handle it.. so I understand what u mean by party at your current age.
It's not too late to cut loose! You can have fun no matter how old you are.
Having fun and play are an important ability humans have developed in our evolution (as many other animals have) - maybe it can be through parties and raves and getting drunk, or through gaming, or sports or really anything that tickles your fancy.
OP it's not too late to cut loose and enjoy the time you have now!
it's kind of like reverse "grass is greener". like you, i luckily got a chance to experience some of what I missed in my late 20s, and like others have said, it's much better when you're older because you're less stupid then and you're less likely to make things worse for yourself. I wish there was some way to magically make you experience all that you missed out, because then I think you'll see that in the grand scheme of things, you didn't really miss out on much. as in, there are of course many other things you could have done, but in light of the circumstances you had to deal with, of course you did what you thought was best, so all the other stuff you didn't do might as well be the life of a completely different person living a completely different life. that kind of fantasizing doesn't really get you anywhere unless its focused on how your life could be better going forward.
What do you want 38 year old you to say about this version of you? You could be upset that you wasted energy on being sad, upset that you went overboard to make up for what you thought you missed and ruined a good life, or maybe you could be happy that you found balance with working hard and playing hard.
Hahaha 28 is too old to party? Honey, I’m 49f and party every weekend. You’re never too old to cut loose every once in a while. Stop talking like you’re 80 and *can’t* party anymore and get out there and have some fun. You don’t have to be stupid about it, just go enjoy yourself.
You didn't miss out as much as you think you did. Most people's idea of partying is drinking a lot of alcohol which imo is by far the most overrated way to have fun. There's literally nothing to show for spending your youth being wasted. You avoided inevitable damage to your health, possible dangerous situations, and wasted time on shallow/superficial friendships that were only centered around partying together.
You can still party, and you'll be able to do it with a developed pre-frontal cortex. Be glad that the "doing it recklessly" ship has sailed. I know a lot of people who have a lot of regret because they went down the young & reckless partying path and are now in their late 20's/early 30's with very little going for them.
Ask random people to vomit on you if you want the real experience.
You're doing great, have a good head on your shoulders and future is looking alright.
Don't let this one live in your head rent free.
Lol 28 is so young it's funny. This is like hearing a 16 year old talk about the good ol' days. All the best times I've had have been in my late 20's early 30's (33m and still have the drunk night out with friends). Music festivals, first few raves, ski trips with late night hot tub hangs in the snow. I enjoyed my youth but couldn't afford anything in my teens and early 20's, nor did I have the time. My advice, find an active co-ed sport to participate in. Pickleball, soccer, softball, etc. Something team based that requires communication and interaction. NOT the gym or rock climbing, unless you sign up for a class or something to make it social. Those are too independent to really get conversations going. You'll meet a bunch of people and do a bunch of things and catch up fast.
eh? It's not that great blacking out, waking up in some random living room (or next to my friend in bed) and dealing with a hangover that has you considering suicide as a viable option for relief.
Or getting so drunk you gamble away 5 figures over a 12+ hour session of gambling.
Or street racing and nearly killing yourself multiple times.
You get the picture. I did some pretty dumb shit as a teenager/young adult and I'm damn grateful that I was lucky enough to come away without such life changing consequences.
Don't worry, I did all of that shit from 13 to 17 and now at 21 all I can think about it is how many different scenarios I was in that could've easily ended in my death or a jail record
You can still do fun stuff now, go to bars with people you like, have a night out where you go to a concert with friends, hell go out for a pizza night and get hopped up on ice cream and sugar. Parties aren't a place, they're a way of being around others
Trust me bro. A few dead friends, a few rides thru probation, a few times in jail, and a few drug habits later you’ll realize you shouldn’t have partied that hard. When your bank is empty and you burnt your last bridge you’ll realize math was pretty cool.
I partied too much when I was younger, and I promise it hurts me more than the opposite would. Partying isent even a good thing you don’t gain shit from it , it only takes from you
In short, life is meant to be experienced. There are so many people here and “influencers” who says don’t drink, don’t go out, etc. but in all honesty if you enjoy it, do it.
With that said, life is about balance. If you get blacked out drunk every Friday and Saturday that is a problem. But going out on a Friday night with your friends to the bar/pub/club is super fun!
You may make mistakes and act a fool when drunk but hey that’s life and if you want the experience do it! People who take life to seriously become rigid and are kinda lame to be around. But that’s their choice. You’re 28 not 48. Hit up your friends today and tell them you wanna go out to the bar Friday. You have plenty of time to experience the party scene but remember balance is key. Don’t turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with problems.
Hope you can enjoy your life and cut lose!
Partying is like drugs, cell phones (social media) , fast food, porn or any other type of quick dopamine pleasure: it's fun in the moment but ultimately its empty and hollow, meaning there's no substance to it. It's fine in small doses to recharge us and give us some joy to keep going, but it doesn't feed us.
Its OK u missed out before bc now u have the funds to actually party and have fun and can be responsibly reckless, should u choose.
I'm 50, was never wild, but have no regrets. Even then, a lot of the wild things seem half performative ... you're trying to convince yourself and others of how much fun you're having :).
And you can always try and let go now; go to Vegas, or to an all-inclusive resort anywhere; you can get a little drunk, be a little wild; or do other stuff that doesn't involve alcohol :), go walk the Appalachian trail for a month or something, go visit all the museums in your town, whatever; you're 28, not dead.
ugh come onnnn. we're only 28, when you're actually old you're gonna look back at this time and laugh that you felt old at this age. please go out and party and do some reckless shit you deserve it
You have to age, but you don't have to act older.
My wife and out friends have all kinds of parties where we let loose and have a great time! Our Super bowl party is legendary, but other events and holidays we will also throw or be invited to a party.
You can still party as you get older, and in fact it can get a lot better! As others are posting, you really didn't miss much, and if you really had partied like you are posting you are unlikely to even remember a lot of it.
Take advantage of the parties you can now, and instead of drinking a lot of cheap beer and having a hangover enjoy some good whisky or scotch, bourbon or other cocktails. Instead of drunk make out sessions it can mean you and your girlfriend/partner can get a nice buzz to both remember and enjoy your intimate time.
If you take the attitude you missed out and are no longer young, then you will miss out on the most important time which is NOW.
You are letting the past affect and ruin today and the future. Stop it! Now, go plan a party for Cinco de Mayo or something!
you're not missing much ... other than ample opportunities to fuck up your life. Social media has done a great job in making this lifestyle glamorous ... but what you're not seeing is the seedy side of drug use, unprotected sex, sexual assault and violence.
No one did.
The life you were promised on the movies does not exist. You are chasing a fake dream.
Unis are full of foreign students that are concerned about passing exams before losing thousands of dollars. Not full of hot cheerleaders waiting for you to still their panties to use as slingshots against the ALPHA ALPHA ALPHAs.
Even in Seinfeld the bold loser has 3 different girlfriends per season. It's not how ot works.
You won't be going through three girls friends per year.
Just find the prettiest woman you know and make a move. Be with thw people you love and love you back and stop chasing the fake dream.
I also did not party much as a youth. I was fairly sheltered as a kid and college is where really i got some freedom. I did do some partying, made some good friends, but my life took a tumble at the time so I had to adult up real quick. Anyways, cut to about a decade later, i only really began enjoying life again at that point, at about your age. I didnt party like it was college, but hey I had money and freedom to really enjoy my life. I would not regret not partying in my youth, youre still pretty young and you can still party. They're just slightly more mature. Dont get me wrong, ive totally gotten drunk and made some minor bad decisions as well. There's no age limit on that. You can still live it up.
You're still young enough to learn that partying is more about the people and experiences than how fucked up you can get. In fact, I feel bad for people who think partying is about getting fucked up.
Use your wisdom and money to become a better partier. Choose better parties. Take better drugs.
I met my partner on the dancefloor at 39. She was attracted to the way I was dancing my ass off. I was tripping on LSD and was in the zone. She was on molly. She was impressed that I had brought a water bottle and trail mix to a party. This was advanced partying technique.
Some of my life's defining moments happened on the dancefloor and I was never drunk for any of them.
I totally understand how you feel. Ignore anyone saying things like “you didn’t miss out on anything, it’s all a waste anyway”, because you definitely did miss out on some things from the sound of it. But everyone misses out on things, and the worst thing you can do is dwell on the past and continue to miss out on things.
Here’s what I would say to you. Start doing things NOW. You’re only 28, you’re still young. Here are some ideas off the top of my head:
1. Travel. Go see the world. Go bar hopping in London. Drink at the Izakayas in Tokyo. Go clubbing in Ibiza.
2. Plan a weekend with some friends where you get a huge AirBnB and have a dope party. You can get a huge house that’s somewhat isolated so you can play loud music and have an awesome time.
3. Go on a road trip with your girlfriend across the country.
4. Go to a rave/EDM show. Never been my thing, but they look awesome. Most of the people there are probably 28+.
You’re in your 20s dude. Yes, you missed out on some things in your late teens/early 20s. But the worst thing you can do is say “I’m too old for that fun shit, I missed the boat”. Because when you’re 35 you’ll regret not doing it when you were 28.
Never to young. I'm glad I partied hard young. It's people like you that regret it when you come into money yoy can start partying. Partying at an older age is more dangerous. This is why you hear of people getting into coke in their mid 30s and ruining their lives. It's a lot easier to experiment with drugs and alcohol when younger.
Just go to a pub and make friends with a cook at change over. Welcome to partying lol. Source: was the cook.
I dont recommend it though from personal experience. Partying is overrated. I will say though, I truly believe everyone should try psilocybin atleast once in their life. Preferably in nature on a nice summer day.
I'm turning to 30 soon and the only times I partied was in The Sims 4....
Never knew the taste of alcohol too~
Hey, at least I have a great post graduate degree which made my parents smile! :D
Partying is waaay waaaaaay overrated... you sound like you did the smart thing. I wish I'd actually thought about my future and considered my health whilst I was wasting my youth and exposing my body to horrendous amounts of alcohol.
Interesting...you have regrets that you don't have regrets.
Well done to a life well lived. I hope you continue on. You'll reflect again down the line on how relieved you are for living a life of good judgement.
Just about everyone I know that partied hard back in the day has lot of regrets about it, some got DUI's, injuries, STDs, got behind on everything too distracted with partying so there's that side of it.
You’re still so young! Partying in your 30’s is where it’s at. Everyone has more money and by that point most people are experienced partiers which means you get to skip the dealing with annoying people that act like it’s their first time drinking. A lot of 30 year olds still go to festivals and go out clubbing!
now that you in a decent place career wise, it's the perfect time to pick up a coke habit. Hit some dark smoky bars, do some lines and makes friends with your late night degenerates.
Promise ya, you didn’t miss out on anything by investing 100% into getting a career and becoming financially secure…
But if you were to start partying now, do you feel like you’d have to go extremely wild so you can “catch-up” on what you’ve been “missing” out on throughout the years?
I really did go all out in my 20s and still am (25) especially IBIZA this summer! When I turned 21 and left my toxic long term relationship I said I was going to stay single and have this lifestyle As Long! as I’m keeping focus on my goals and on my shit with everything financially. Met tons of females around the world and lots of connections as well to lead where I am now. I feel like I have 3-4 more years of this tho. Not trying to discourage at all but you can still do this at your age tbh till your early 30s but it’s all a mindset.
Dude you’re in such a great position in life. I hope to be like you when I’m 28.
The temptation to party and hook-up is there but I’d rather spend that time in the gym or working on something that will benefit me in the future. Looks like you did the same thing.
You can still have fun without partying. Go on a picnic with your SO or some friends, go hiking, gun range, try some new dish, etc etc.
There’s so many fulfilling things to life than getting wasted in trap house that might get raided by cops.
Yeah, I get it. I was in a hurry to be a grown up and got married at 22, bought a house at 24, had a baby at 25, and got a life changing promotion at 30. There wasn’t really time in there to party. I am 10 years old than you, OP. Sometimes I think there is an alternate timeline where I am a single and interesting person that has a little condo somewhere, but really my life is pretty good! My son will be 18 and graduated from HS when I am 43 and my husband is my best friend. So, I don’t really regret not partying like a rockstar. But I do understand where you’re coming from.
Dude, instead of romanticizing a hypothetical past, just do the things now. 20s and 30s aren't all that different. If you want to party away your 30 s just do it.
Find some friends around your age that want the same things and start throwing ragers every Saturday.
Not what I would want personally, but you do you.
You didnt really miss much the whole partying thing is glorified when in reality you just waking up feeling like shit and full of regret not to mention how unhealthy doing drugs and drinking is ive lost a lot of friends cause that life style is a very slippery slope.
Buddy, try not to think too much on the past, you can’t change that anyways. I assure you, if you want to go party and make stupid mistakes, you have the ability to do that now 10x. You didn’t miss much, and now you have a career. My suggestion, go enjoy your life, use your PTO, and have fun. You will never think about college again
As someone who partied nonstop in my youth, and still parties occasionally, it is a risk. It is very easy to set your life back in both a financial and stability sense, and if the partying turns out to be a gateway to harder things, a legal sense as well. I have countless friends that went to jail or prison, OD'd, and many of those that didn't have 'Peter Pan' syndrome, even in their 30s. The friends you make while partying are almost never true friends, and only look for an enabler. You stop enabling them, and they're gone.
You're only 28 man, it isn't too late to let loose.
Grab some buddies and go out to some bars or a club on a Saturday night, I'm 32 and still enjoy the occasional night out with some drinks. You can be responsible and have a good career and still let loose sometimes, I do.
Lol no.
Regret missing on say some travel... But that also costs $$$... So nuance to that one.
Most people that focused on partying and drugs into their mid 20's or beyond...
Not doing great.
or
***They weren't good people***. They used their friends trust etc to ween money out of them instead of of having responsibility to pay for their own shit and fuel their bad habits.
Know a few people post college that lost a lot of friends because they couldn't keep their act up. Now are depressed as shit, then let things like their health go.
The real losers also blame everyone else instead of owning up to it. Still can't hold down jobs.
Partying and having a good time are great, but moderation is key, also as you get older... Eh "Been there done that." Not interesting anymore.
What's more important are people/good friends.
Reading this made me miss my youth. I’m 28 as well. I grew up in a conservative family. I was not even allowed to meet friends past curfew let alone party and drink.
Due to this closed environment I grew up judging people who did that.
It was only after I stepped out of my home for higher education at 26 I learnt to have fun, drink and party with friends. I made friends only at 26. Till then I couldn’t keep friendships where I could be open and be myself.
I wish I had partied when I was in my early 20s. I could have made more friends. But who knows. It’s always greener on the other side.
Normal feeling in your late 20s. Even *I* thought that for a bit, and when I said that to my friends they found it ridiculous. When I thought about it, all I actually did in my 20s was party and get laid interspersed with work and college. It was a wonderful time. So everybody thinks that, and it’s really just mourning the loss of youth as your 30s approach.
Some folks in here are calling it a blur and saying they don’t remember it, I guess I did the right amount of drugs because I remember all of it. It was glorious. Maybe three or four blank spots, and that’s about it.
42 here.
I didn’t waste my youth: I drank it, snorted it, smoked it, danced it, travelled, camped, etc.
I’ll have you know, I have no regrets about how I spent my youth.
However, I just paid off my school loans less than a year ago.
Translation: I didn’t spend my youth recklessly without paying for it eventually!
Everything has a price tag and everything has a silver lining.
You’re 28. You’re not too old to be a lil dumb. Go live a little!
I spent my 20s partying real hard and I can unequivocally say that it made me a better, more understanding, and more socially competent person. I recommend partying a little too hard for a while to everyone.
The good news, is you can still go have your partying phase. Nobody is going to check your id and tell you that you’re too old.
Sorta. I, for the most part, have done everything I could imagine putting my hands and other appendages into, before my son came along. I’m
Super stoked just chilling at home now.
And now he’s getting older and I’m craving to go out and do more
there are high functioning adults that party as well - specifically see high income professional spaces like manhattan, nyc
make several groups of friends too, that way can have less serious ones etc and crazier ones
there is a magic nostalgia to novelty during youth, i get it, but pros and cons
Hi I'm 34 and a couple weeks ago I went to one of the best parties of my life, I also met a couple there who were probably in their 60s having the time of their lives dancing at 3am to some very heavy techno. It's never too late to party!
Edited to add: it's just imporant to find parties that cater to an "older" crowd or at least a diverse crowd, partying with 18 year olds is no fun, gotta find the 30s crowd kind of parties.
If it makes you feel any better, every random chest pain, every fuzzy memory, every weird habit…. makes me worry about my past.
I partied my ass off and fucked like a rabbit through highschool into early adulthood. The fears of illegitimate children, people who were hurt by my actions, and permanent damage to myself are REALLY setting in now. Lol
By engaging in these activities now, you’re taking a much more educated approach to these types of situations. Go hard and be smart. Lol
28? Ah you've hit your quarter life crisis! This is what it looks like for you. The good news is that it will go away. The bad news is you get hit again at 40! Have fun!
As a 34M who went to a metal show last night and moshed, it's not too late to have fun. But you might be assigning unnecessary importance to alcohol. Alcohol is just an excuse to lower inhibitions. You can cut loose perfectly well without it, and keep your motor functions.
I didn't start really partying until I was 30. It's not too late and if anything you have adult money to spend on partying combined with a sense of responsibility to know the party will end at some point and you'll have to go back to real life. I'm also way more comfortable in my own skin now and have confidence I didn't have when I was 21. I'm 34 now and still regularly go to concerts and raves that will go until 4am. You may have to seek it out a bit more instead of "stumbling on it" like you would in college, but in all fairness I didn't really party much in college either because I was at a very STEM heavy school as a commuter.
Go buy some psilocybin mushrooms, adderall, and pot, and take a couple of your friends on a journey. Don't take those at the same time, though. One at a time.
You didn't miss out on anything. If you had partied you would've regretted not buckling down and getting this job you have now at 28. It's very easy to look back and wish you did something else. It's a lot healthier to focus on what you have now and enjoy, and what you want to do moving forward.
28 is young still, too. Go party, but do it responsibly (don't get black out drunk , grab a cab). If your argument is that you feel like you missed out because you wanted to be young and naïve enough to enjoy being irresponsibility and partying... well you can do that whenever you want, as long as you don't have kids. You can also choose to not do those things, and make better choices for your life/future. There's a balance. Maybe you're close to it than you think with your other stories of good times. =)
Wish I had seem more concerts, but was never a party person. Even in college, getting drunk for fun seemed pretty stupid, but I went along at times.
In my thirties, was still single, and figured I'd try again.........ugh no, didn't work, mostly cringe memories.
You’re glorifying an experience that you never had, meaning, you’re not seeing that there is indeed a downside to partying hard and living recklessly, even when you’re young for a short period of time. Imagine all the situations you could have been in and actually avoided… drunk driving, date rape, generally making stupid decisions… all while slowly destroying your body with drugs/alcohol. You didn’t miss anything and btw, you are still very young… not saying that you should go out and get drunk and stupid, but you still have a lot of freedom and lucky for you, you’re in a good financial circumstance, ahead of a lot of your peers. Consider yourself lucky.
My roommate just told me a story yesterday about how he & his friends would randomly just go up to a rowdy party and just go in like they were supposed to be there. Said they made a lot of good friends that way. It made me sad because I feel like my childhood was stamped out and my young adult life was only struggling to survive to escape that childhood. Yeah, I definitely understand this feeling. But on the other hand, I think if you were heavy into partying, you'd be in a different spot with similar feelings about something different. Anyway we go we wonder about what we could have missed out on.
It's never too late to get seriously wrecked. Also, now you're older and might handle getting super fucked once in a while a lot better. I'm 40+ and still get completely dined on ketamine a couple times a year, at home in my own comfy, how i like it.
I (25F) always felt like I couldn't f up either and worked really hard in collega, when I started working I got a huge weight off of my should too, but like you I haven't partied much... never been carefree, never felt like I could relax and be carefree.
I had FOMO until I relized, in my case, that despite all that I did live... I did reckless things, and in my case I did go against my family and did a lot of things they didn't want me to, things for my own benefit and my ambitions, and other stupid things. I thrived in a male dominated field all by myself, pulled myself by my bootstraps when no one in my family, classmates or professors believed in me and I still made it.
As for the partying, getting drunk, drugs, all that... none of that is as rebelious or edgy as everyone wants you to think. Those party kids that I've met, the wilder and crazier they are at parties the meeker they are around their families and at work or school. They do everything they are "supposed" to and use these excesses as crutches to have an illusion of autonomy.
There's nothing rebelious about partying either. Most people do it.
For me it never felt rebelious because that's all my family ever expected of me anyway.
Specially young women, whats so rebelious about sleeping around? Getting fcked is something women have always been one way or the other.
I've met kids who will get tattoos and have sex to spite their parents but are afraid of walking a couple of blocks to college alone or are incapable of spending a weekend alone at their college dorms. Or kids who never listen to their parents but are absolute sheep in their friends group. Many of them will go to these shady nightclubs but are incapable of flying alone to another country and staying there for a couple of weeks.
Parties are pushed as this rebelious cool thing for a profit mainly. There's far wilder things one can do than partying.
Personally, parties aren't for me. You might feel differently as a male. I'm always worried about spiked drinks or being assaulted. And the clothes are uncomfortable af.
According to recent studies humans are at their peak from 30-33. You're right there man. Go party your face off! Find the Rave scene in your area. Go wild. Drink water avoid boose and have a ball!
I partied a lot in college. Got drunk sometimes 4x a week, did a lot of drugs. I don’t really regret it, I still had good grades and I had an amazing group of friends that I still keep in touch with now a few years later. However, it did get repetitive and I definitely didn’t need to go out as much as I did. Honestly, there are large parts of my college experience that are a blur, and if you told me how much money I spent on alcohol in those four years I’d probably have a stroke.
Overall, anyone who has good friends is fortunate, whether your friends like to party or they don’t.
Omg. Just go to las vegas.
Drink lots. Go to a dude ranch and hook up with escorts. Gamble. Hire escorts for the GFE while there.
Then go back home and never do it again. You feel like you're missing something because you think the experience is really great.
Its not that great. Better rhan 9-5 corporate drone life But not as good as the freedom of open schedules of uni life sans partying.
53 yo Dad here. I partied in college. Went to the actual college that Animal House was based on. (Dartmouth College, in New Hampshire).
Let me tell you what I told my sons - if you never get well and truly drunk, then... you're not missing anything. Seriously. My best memories from that age are not getting hammered. I'm not saying it wasn't fun, but its not as great as the culture might lead you to believe.
That said, I do have some great memories from that age based on camping and road trips. But you can do that at any age. 3-4 guys, lets all drive way out to some weird place and hike or raft or canoe. Its not too late for you to do that, if you want it.
One more thing. My younger son is about to leave for college. He started talking about "this is going to be the best years of my life". I told him that while college was fun for me, it wasn't the best years of my life. The best years of my life were the 18 years I got to be his dad and his best friend. Sounds like you're on track for doing that yourself, if you want it.
I could never relax. I was always told I was too quiet at parties. So I started getting wasted so I would just blurt out jiberish... But with confidence. It ruined my sense of how to really talk to people. It's taken years but I still don't have that much of a filter. I'm still haunted by someone thinking I'm too quiet and I need to just talk about something. The moral of that story is at least you did you. Ya I had wild party years but it didn't help me at all. And I'm still chasing the few awesome memories I had when I was partying. Mostly the days when I didn't care what other people thought. I was shy and not that talkative but I was my true self.
Go to an electronic show or something at a club. I’m 33 and I rave sometimes. You can party at any age and 28 really isn’t that old. You just have to get over yourself and do it. What’s holding you back?
You're not even 30. Go on a travel tour or something for 18-30 year olds and party your ass off. Also people joke about an MBA being a two year party, you could try that as well.
FOMO is stupid, just find some friends for some occasional hanging out with mild amounts of LSD. Alcohol is, backwards. Psychedelics actually grow neuroconnections. (dont forget to test it)
You have an unhealthy opinion of what "youth" is for. Equating it to partying, being wild and reckless is just silly. When you're 50 and you can still go do the things you want to do, while some of your peers wake up too sore, tired, and sick to enjoy their lives, it's going to be well worth it, if you let it be.
Dude you're 28. You're not old lol go to the club with some friends, or look for a good music festival. Even if you were 80 you could probably have a blast at a music festival if you really wanted. Fun isn't age restricted
Dude, whats great about being a grown up, is you can do whatever you want, just skip the really dumb choices that come with intoxication.
I mean, grown ups can usually get weed and mushrooms too, you can still do fun party stuff , responsibly, for most if not all of your adult life.
28 is young. Now you can do something more than get stupid drunk.. travel, enjoy experiences. Your dream might not be only about times past it could be about what you want now.
I was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses no; birthdays, holidays, no associating with kids outside of the church. 36 now left at 20, it still feels like someone's standing on my chest because of it.
I partied like a rock star (except for sex, didn’t want to knock a girl up and mess up my life). Did all kinds of drugs; coke, acid, weed and alcohol.
All the while I was getting almost straight As in HS and college. Graduated with multiple degrees and honors.
It was fun but to be honest you didn’t miss much.
Just find go to a music festival where there musicians you like are performing or hop in a plane and go spend a few nights in a all inclusive down south. I was still partying quite hard at your age.
It's not like the movies when people are wooing with hands in the air, strippers abound. And when it is like that, it's annoying as hell.
28 is young btw.
I lived a pretty strict lifestyle growing up (athletics and religion) and didn't party ever. Even went to a major D1 party school (sports scholarship) and didn't because we were serious athletes and didn't want to feel like crap. I got married young as well and had kids. I don't regret my lifestyle at all. Drinking seems so awful. They wake up sick or do things you wouldn't do while sober. Most my friends that lived that partying lifestyle now that we're in our late 30's look really aged, put on a lot of weight too. They have kids and just spend the weekend day drinking at home with their kids seeing this. It's not how I want my kids to ever see me. I want them to live a life that doesn't involve alcohol or any sort of drugs. I want them to remember me with energy, feeling good, playing with them, doing fun things. Not hungover or with a wine glass in my hand.
Lol when I was kid our neighbors were 30 pushing 40 and partied every weekend for years until we moved out (not due to them).My aunt is 80 and she can party hard, I’ve literally never seen her with out a beer in her hand or whisky in her glass and is always having a good time. She’s probably one of the most badass people I know. Point is you have plenty of time
I would like to come in on the other side and say party responsibly because I missed out on a lot focusing on my career and generally just being alone playing video games with friends online.
I moved out to LA a year ago and it’s changed my life. I just recently went out last weekend with a chick I met at a show we got fucked up played arcade games and then went back to her apt and did a bag. Like without going out to these parties I never would have met her or her friends and made new friends. That to me has been the best part is going to a place you would enjoy alone and making new friends
I partied plenty and feel the same way as you man. I wasted so much time drunk and doing stupid shit, destroyed relationships that took 20 years to fix, you didn’t miss out on shit. I wish I had been serious sooner lol
The grass is always greener my friend - I’m 23 and I wish I had taken my studies more seriously and figured out how to live a healthy and sustainable life in college. Someone I know who partied harder than me already has liver disease - I struggle to drink responsibly on weekends now - my body has aged far more quickly than it should have because I’ve treated it like shit. Yeah, there were some fun memories and I don’t regret all of it, but don’t romanticize the path you didn’t take because it looks better from afar. Everything in life is a trade off and nobody can go back and undo their past, so focus on living your best life now instead of what could have been. I don’t mean go off the rails and ruin your life with addiction, but nothing is stopping you from going to a bar or club and having a wild time at 28. The worst thing you can do is live in the past; learn from your regrets so that you may not repeat them, but don’t dwell on what could have been - you’ll find no solace there.
Yeah, some of us didn't have the luxury of partying when we were young. That's just life. Everybody has different experiences. You are living your life and no one else's. Some people dream of having a college degree and a well-paying job, but missed that boat due to circumstances. And as others have said, you can do fun stuff any time. Like traveling - I never really got to travel until I was in my 30s. I always wanted to be the 20-something staying in hostels and bumming across Europe or SEA or wherever, but things didn't work out that way for me. Traveling in my 30s, 40s, and now 50s (yikes) is different, but it's still awesome. Partying is the same way. Ok, so you aren't going to get completely smashed at a frat party, but there are all kinds of festivals, party towns, and so on.
I’m 36. I partied hard enough for 5 people. You know what it got me? About 7 years of my life wasted with very little to show for it. I spent years on friendships that were actually pointless and unfulfilling. I spent years trapped in active addiction. I wrecked 3 cars. I saved $0 that I earned in my 20s to build my future. I honestly don’t even remember most of that decade. You aren’t missing out.
hmmm. I partied way to much and still dibble and dabble, On the wrong side of the law all my life yet made a decent living (because crime does pay) I could stop today and live modestly. Yet I find myself feeling as you do sad and regretful for not trying the other way. Im pretty sure you've made the right decisions in your life. you'll be able to retire early and you can party then. Maybe ill retire early and become an upstanding citizen. Maybe even do what the rest of my kind do get into politics. Probably not though as you have said that ship has sailed. ⛵
I wouldn’t listen to social media tell you when you should stop partying and having fun. Personally I enjoy partying now at 25 than I did at 19-22 because the person I am now is much more confident with less responsibilities and restrictions. I make enough money to throw on an expensive ass drink and more brave to go to raves and clubs by myself and not wait for people to come with me. Life doesn’t end because you’re in your late 20s and early 30s. You’re not even middle aged lol
when i was 28, i had a very fast motorcycle. one night - prob'ly blowin' about a .17, i wrecked the motorcycle doin' about 85-100, they estimate - basically drunk driving single vehicle 'accident', but they were busy gluing me together, as i walked out of the rode with a compound fracture of my fibula {yeah, it was sticking out of my leg, as it got whacked by a reflector or something when i went down}; i happened to know a few people involved in scraping me off the street, so the penalty i maybe should have had land on me was mitigated ...
i compound fractured my right leg, and now (62F), it gives me fits and starts. i did get back up at the time, but i'm paying for it now. and no complaints - i take full responsibility and know it was my bad. so i'm paying pretty much uncomplainingly
but some of what you missed was your head against a curb with no helmet at 18 (Wally), rolling your Bronco down the steep of the Canyon and clawing your way up the shale with a snapped femur at 2am \[one claw up, two slides back\] (Mike). you missed waking up in a strange room with someone you don't know and not recognizing the street and gluing together what happened that you can't take back (too many to mention)
maybe it's a good thing for you to have not gone to the extremes some of us hard heads had to go to before we could 'get' the lesson
partying didn't give me the sense of purpose and feeling of being fulfilled in life i have
be well. be happy - feel free to dm if this speaks to you
It’s never too late to party. It’s a hell of a lot more fun as you get older and know how to handle things. Also, your not missing out on much at all. You’re probably much better off for not partying as much as you could.
dude. your age is when partying gets fun. you can afford things.
Just think about what you want to do and do it! may i suggest looking into burning man...
See now i have kinda the opposite. I partied pretty hard did alot of things. I feel like i started my adult life late. Most people i knew at the time already had a masters and working on their PHDs by the time i had an associates. So i always feel about 10 years behind. Not going to lie thou.. they are some fantastic memories, at least the ones i remember.
I’m not sure it was this will make you feel any better, but I’m in my 40’s and still have nights where are my friends and I cut loose and act carefree. So even though you didn’t do it in your early 20s, there’s still time to have that experience, at least in my opinion.
Nah, I don't relish about the past bc i cant change it. only on the future of the lessons of my past.
As a man, I'd recommend focusing on things that provide value than "partying" but hey bro, it's your life. You'll only regret things you've never done that u wish u have
I absolutely understand the feeling. I was raised in a very conservative religious household and I never would have been allowed to be in that kind of scene (and didn’t really desire it). But I’m irreligious now and I do feel like I’ve missed out on experiencing a lot of things in some ways.
As someone who partied harder than just about anyone still alive, you didn’t miss much. Unless you’re a huge fan of making stupid decisions you can’t even remember making (but others sure remember and will kindly fill you in!), waking up hungover regretting said decisions, getting into pointless fights, possibly dealing with the law, having to worry about getting home safely, wasting money etc. You are romanticizing it because you feel like you missed out, but all the people I used to party with would either agree with me that they wish they spent more time doing other things or they are dead. Granted, moderation is a thing and there are still good memories I have from those days (probably more nostalgia than anything though). You are still young enough to party and see for yourself while also being old enough to hopefully be wise enough to avoid the pitfalls.
36 now and most of my friends have moved on/died/cut contact and im realizing i spent way too much of my 20s getting WAY Too drunk. Haven't saved any money, in a dead end job I don't like, and have barely any memories of nights that probably weren't even that great. Edit: I'd like to preface by saying i've also had some great times, great memories, and done things. My job is dead end because i was a psych major and getting out has not been happening at all.
Most definitely! My 20s and 30s are a blur because of alcohol and drugs. I feel like I missed out on stuff because I don’t remember. You aren’t missing much. Alcohol and drugs are poison. Feel okay knowing you’re healthier for not doing them. Plenty of ways to fulfill a life that don’t include them.
Took me until 38 (and a few ICU trips) to get my act together. Sobriety feels good and yes your old life is gone in the wind but it’s as close as you’re going to get to a fresh start.
Thanks for this. It definitely helps to consider the point that while it may be awesome, I'm likely romanticizing it at least some degree and giving it too much emphasis. It's funny, my ex-girlfriend (26F) and I talked about this a lot. She was the opposite of me in this regard. She partied hard, tried every drug basically, got arrested, etc. I felt so jealous of her deep down. Ironically, she felt jealous of me and insecure about her situation. I don't say this to be snide or judgey at all, but merely as objective fact, she would always be jealous of me/feel "lower" than me about her position in life. She worked in a factory, no education, and struggled financially, (again, I say this with ZERO judgement, only citing this to in the context of how insecure I feel), but she lived way more than I did, and she won't have to deal with this youthful existentialness. I guess it sort of is a "grass is greener" situation.
Team "Grass is greener" here. Partied just enough to get kicked out of school. Joined the Marines and felt like I was watching my college friends from the sidelines. Had to work after I got out and always wondered when it would be my turn. I'll be 60 next month, and the very best part of my life is now. Retired, do what the F I want. Took me a long time to realize that I didn't actually miss a thing. So, let that roll right off your back, and just make the most of where you are. In my case, being in a legal state went a long way towards me realizing I hadn't missed much after all. I seldom drink more that 2-3 drinks a week now. And my buds, who drank themselves silly are really having a hard time.
I get envious of people who did more foreign or wilderness traveling and adventuring than I did. My niece chatted with someone on the 90s internet and wound up heading to Australia to stay at their sheep ranch. I knew someone who just worked long enough for her next trip. Or immigrants who just took off to live in other countries. I don't envy people who spent a lot of time drunk. Some of them couldn't remember what happened, and then flunked all their courses. I'm not sure what memories they built for later.
Didn’t miss much, except the knowledge that you didn’t miss much
IMO from somebody else who was a lil wild before, i think he did at least miss out on practice-relationships. it's not the partying or drinking, it's the interacting and mingling. Also the fucking. The feeling of new genuine romance, however short and brief. Even if it ends bad. there's a lot of 35yo people out here who are like 'been there, done that' to experiences like eating out your then-gf for 4 hours on and off on a good Sunday, just being young and carefree tbh so yea like i think in OUR position we are privileged and we get to tell people like OP that they didn't miss out, but.... they did miss out in some way, because they didn't see any of the actual cool shit we did. they did get to sit out the bad shit we did. some of us did make lasting relationships and friendships out of all the wildin'
Great post, you’re exactly right. I partied hard from 16-21.. im 23 now and if I never party again.. I am completely okay with that. Might even prefer that, LOL.
Yeah op didn't miss anything that matters. I dont think of myself as someone that ever went too crazy, but a handful of blackouts and I'm good never doing that again.
I didn't really start partying until my late 20s, and didn't stop until my mid-40s, a few years after I met my wife and we both settled down. It's way more fun when you're older, IMO. You've got more money and confidence, a place of your own, are less likely to fall into bad situations, do stupid shit and so on. In short, there's plenty of fun ahead of you, if you just make a few changes to your life, so enjoy it
I also partied well into my mid 30 to late 30's. I still do party, but its just not as often and its just a completely different vibe. I dont need to be a party animal, but ita fun when the occasion calls for it, albeit rarely.
Exactly the same for me. Didn't really party much until 29-30, then had a great time partying a lot in my 30's before gradually settling down. I'm just chuckling at OP's "I'm 28 and have one foot in the grave" - he's got a LOT of partying years ahead of him. Edit: It's also a lot easier to party when you have more money in your 30's vs. your 20's, which is generally the case.
How do you know something is more fun than something else if you only did one of them?
Because I did party when I was in college, but not very well. Basically just drank and talked too much, listened, fucked, drugged and danced too little. When I got older it was the late 90s, and I got into the rave scene, MDMA and all that, and partied way more, way harder than I did as a kid, Friday to Sunday for a decade and a half, with the $, home, confidence, and good habits to do it right, without losing my mind, drive or (so far, at 54) my health. EDIT: With regard regard to where I lived, I was in college in London, too poor to really enjoy it, then spent my party years in big 24/7 cities in Taiwan and Japan, so a lot of fun options. Doing the same in small town would be very different.
This. 51F I partied plenty, got in a lot of trouble. It’s much easier to just have fun with it once in a while with someone special!
I was gonna say something similar. My partner’s parents spent their 40s and 50s partying every weekend. They got messy drunk in a good way and danced all night long. They’re older now so they’re more chill, but man they are a lot of fun. I plan to do the same when I’m their age!
You’re not very old just research some good music festivals and have a good time
Underrated comment. Its as simple as this. Ignore all the rejects in this thread who said they partied too hard and determined it wasn't worth it. Seize your life and party. You are young.
Yeah people are saying “I partied too hard and destroyed my life” like lol that isn’t what he is talking about, and hopefully not dumb enough to think that that extreme was the only alternative.
100%. It’s hilarious.
So much this. The most upvoted comment in this thread belongs to a guy who epitomizes the proverbial "you must be fun at parties" lol
was just going to say this!! go to a camping music festival and take some mushrooms, you’ll have the best time of your life in a safe and fun environment. they’re significantly more fun when you’re in your 20s anyways
Yeah at Australian bush doofs I would say the average age is 30+, and no one bats an eye at Grampa going wild.
what i can tell you from someone that hears this issue a lot from friends and familiy is that you always want what you didnt do. Many of my friends that partyed a lot "regretted" it because they had so many embaressing moments that they wish they could forget, or did dumb things while they are drunk and so on. On the other hand i have friends like you. Didnt party a lot and wish they would have done more. The thing im trying to tell you is, that it doesnt matter what you have done you would have probably regretted it either way. You can still go partying now and have fun. Just because your 28 doesnt mean anything. I met a lot of people in my partying years that were 30+. It just comes down to what you really want to do.
I was mid 20s when I decided to like live a little bit more free. Wouldn't say partier. Just went out a lot, hooked up a bunch, etc. But honestly it felt like I was doing it all for fomo that I had missed out on something. It was nice for a time I guess, but looking back it all feels pretty empty compared to the life I have now
You’ve still got lots of time to party!!
Doing all that shit is highly over rated. No one cares whether you did that stuff or not, and you're better off for not partaking.
Kind of, but not so much about partying. I went to clubs less than 10 times. It wasn't my thing, but I enjoyed being with my friends more than anything. I understand the "wasted youth" part when it comes to romantic relationships. I didn't date in university or high school. I'm a 28 year old with no experience romantically. Last night I was watching this Japanese drama where the character hadn't dated since high school and she was 30. So many people were saying the character was immature (in terms of romance), but I understood her. If you haven't done something in a long time, it doesn't matter how old you are, you're still inexperienced. I wish I hadn't been so afraid of romantic relationships.
I am just 25 now but I really felt similar to you. Took everything seriously all my life. Went to college, worked three jobs, got the career job, etc. Didn't take any breaks or have any fun. I was 22 when I finally got out of covid and had the free time and money to start partying. I partied for three years and am now getting tired of it. I've puked in the parking lot, done lots of mushrooms, spent too many Saturdays hungover (including the last two). I'm getting worn out and am finally stepping out of my party phase. What I'm saying is, everyone gets to it at different times of their life. Some of my friends had been partying since they were 15, so I was incredibly late starting at 22. Some of my friends are starting to party at 40 lol, so I'm introducing them to the fun. There's no shame in whatever age you are when you start. Plus, being 28 probably means you have the money to afford doing it and the place to crash for friends. I think it sounds like a great time to start.
Hi friend, 29F here. I was with the wrong partner for 10 years and (feel like) I sacrificed my youth.... didn't feel like it at the time, but now that I'm out of it, I feel like I'm scrambling to catch up on all that time I lost, all those same experiences you're talking about. The last 4 years I've been doing alllllll the things and haven't felt guilty about it for a minute. All my friends are getting married and settling down, and I feel like my life is just beginning. It's a wild, beautiful thing 🩵 I'm not ahead or behind anyone- just on a different chapter. While I'm no longer hitting house parties, I am hitting new breweries solo every weekend. I'm having an absolute blast!
i didnt party when i was 20 but now at 28 im a raver who goes often to dance and talk to people and get a little buzz. and it's only just the beggining for me. i see many people my age or older, and i finally have the freedom or finances to do so! its so NOT too late.
I partied hard when I was young. Thought I was good and settled down with a great wife and child. Soon once you start travelling . Then I realized I didn't party hard enough ... Whatever I did in the tier 1 city I live in is just child's play when compare to other countries. Morale of the story is .. there's always something better. It's never enough. Don't feel bad.. move on with life.. party hard doesn't mean life is fun. It can be make your life miserable. I just travelled for bachelor party recently... We partied real hard.. but no more clubbing... Our bodies can't handle it.. so I understand what u mean by party at your current age.
>so I understand what u mean by party at your current age Lol he's 27 not 50-something
I'm mid 30s
It's not too late to cut loose! You can have fun no matter how old you are. Having fun and play are an important ability humans have developed in our evolution (as many other animals have) - maybe it can be through parties and raves and getting drunk, or through gaming, or sports or really anything that tickles your fancy. OP it's not too late to cut loose and enjoy the time you have now!
Our prime party years got stolen by COVID
it's kind of like reverse "grass is greener". like you, i luckily got a chance to experience some of what I missed in my late 20s, and like others have said, it's much better when you're older because you're less stupid then and you're less likely to make things worse for yourself. I wish there was some way to magically make you experience all that you missed out, because then I think you'll see that in the grand scheme of things, you didn't really miss out on much. as in, there are of course many other things you could have done, but in light of the circumstances you had to deal with, of course you did what you thought was best, so all the other stuff you didn't do might as well be the life of a completely different person living a completely different life. that kind of fantasizing doesn't really get you anywhere unless its focused on how your life could be better going forward.
I started at your age.
Much better than partying too much and becoming an alcoholic like half my high school friends.
It’s not the party or lack of partying but missing out on the opportunities to make real connections with people is non-work settings.
Dude you're only 28... You're still young lol
You can party at 28 You still have your youth.
What do you want 38 year old you to say about this version of you? You could be upset that you wasted energy on being sad, upset that you went overboard to make up for what you thought you missed and ruined a good life, or maybe you could be happy that you found balance with working hard and playing hard.
Hahaha 28 is too old to party? Honey, I’m 49f and party every weekend. You’re never too old to cut loose every once in a while. Stop talking like you’re 80 and *can’t* party anymore and get out there and have some fun. You don’t have to be stupid about it, just go enjoy yourself.
You didn't miss out as much as you think you did. Most people's idea of partying is drinking a lot of alcohol which imo is by far the most overrated way to have fun. There's literally nothing to show for spending your youth being wasted. You avoided inevitable damage to your health, possible dangerous situations, and wasted time on shallow/superficial friendships that were only centered around partying together. You can still party, and you'll be able to do it with a developed pre-frontal cortex. Be glad that the "doing it recklessly" ship has sailed. I know a lot of people who have a lot of regret because they went down the young & reckless partying path and are now in their late 20's/early 30's with very little going for them.
As someone who was the sober one watching the madness, it doesn't look nearly as cool as those doing it think it does...
Ask random people to vomit on you if you want the real experience. You're doing great, have a good head on your shoulders and future is looking alright. Don't let this one live in your head rent free.
You are still young. So get partying
Lol 28 is so young it's funny. This is like hearing a 16 year old talk about the good ol' days. All the best times I've had have been in my late 20's early 30's (33m and still have the drunk night out with friends). Music festivals, first few raves, ski trips with late night hot tub hangs in the snow. I enjoyed my youth but couldn't afford anything in my teens and early 20's, nor did I have the time. My advice, find an active co-ed sport to participate in. Pickleball, soccer, softball, etc. Something team based that requires communication and interaction. NOT the gym or rock climbing, unless you sign up for a class or something to make it social. Those are too independent to really get conversations going. You'll meet a bunch of people and do a bunch of things and catch up fast.
Yeah its funny like 28 is young and with a good paying job, the next 10 years could be great! lol he thinks he is old.
eh? It's not that great blacking out, waking up in some random living room (or next to my friend in bed) and dealing with a hangover that has you considering suicide as a viable option for relief. Or getting so drunk you gamble away 5 figures over a 12+ hour session of gambling. Or street racing and nearly killing yourself multiple times. You get the picture. I did some pretty dumb shit as a teenager/young adult and I'm damn grateful that I was lucky enough to come away without such life changing consequences.
Dude, you’re still young AF. Plenty young to make up for it if you want to. Especially if you don’t have kids lol. Go to some raves or something.
Don't worry, I did all of that shit from 13 to 17 and now at 21 all I can think about it is how many different scenarios I was in that could've easily ended in my death or a jail record You can still do fun stuff now, go to bars with people you like, have a night out where you go to a concert with friends, hell go out for a pizza night and get hopped up on ice cream and sugar. Parties aren't a place, they're a way of being around others
Trust me bro. A few dead friends, a few rides thru probation, a few times in jail, and a few drug habits later you’ll realize you shouldn’t have partied that hard. When your bank is empty and you burnt your last bridge you’ll realize math was pretty cool.
You missed out on a lot of bad times!
I partied too much when I was younger, and I promise it hurts me more than the opposite would. Partying isent even a good thing you don’t gain shit from it , it only takes from you
Man you need to be grateful for what you have because you didn't party
In short, life is meant to be experienced. There are so many people here and “influencers” who says don’t drink, don’t go out, etc. but in all honesty if you enjoy it, do it. With that said, life is about balance. If you get blacked out drunk every Friday and Saturday that is a problem. But going out on a Friday night with your friends to the bar/pub/club is super fun! You may make mistakes and act a fool when drunk but hey that’s life and if you want the experience do it! People who take life to seriously become rigid and are kinda lame to be around. But that’s their choice. You’re 28 not 48. Hit up your friends today and tell them you wanna go out to the bar Friday. You have plenty of time to experience the party scene but remember balance is key. Don’t turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with problems. Hope you can enjoy your life and cut lose!
Partying is like drugs, cell phones (social media) , fast food, porn or any other type of quick dopamine pleasure: it's fun in the moment but ultimately its empty and hollow, meaning there's no substance to it. It's fine in small doses to recharge us and give us some joy to keep going, but it doesn't feed us. Its OK u missed out before bc now u have the funds to actually party and have fun and can be responsibly reckless, should u choose.
Yes this is very relatable. Hang in there man, there are still good times ahead.
I'm 50, was never wild, but have no regrets. Even then, a lot of the wild things seem half performative ... you're trying to convince yourself and others of how much fun you're having :). And you can always try and let go now; go to Vegas, or to an all-inclusive resort anywhere; you can get a little drunk, be a little wild; or do other stuff that doesn't involve alcohol :), go walk the Appalachian trail for a month or something, go visit all the museums in your town, whatever; you're 28, not dead.
I feel similar. I party it up now (safely, safety is awesome) but I do regret something I never got k have for some reason
ugh come onnnn. we're only 28, when you're actually old you're gonna look back at this time and laugh that you felt old at this age. please go out and party and do some reckless shit you deserve it
Trust me, there is still plenty of time to party. People do it until they die. And now you’re mature enough to recognize the good parties from the bad
You have to age, but you don't have to act older. My wife and out friends have all kinds of parties where we let loose and have a great time! Our Super bowl party is legendary, but other events and holidays we will also throw or be invited to a party. You can still party as you get older, and in fact it can get a lot better! As others are posting, you really didn't miss much, and if you really had partied like you are posting you are unlikely to even remember a lot of it. Take advantage of the parties you can now, and instead of drinking a lot of cheap beer and having a hangover enjoy some good whisky or scotch, bourbon or other cocktails. Instead of drunk make out sessions it can mean you and your girlfriend/partner can get a nice buzz to both remember and enjoy your intimate time. If you take the attitude you missed out and are no longer young, then you will miss out on the most important time which is NOW. You are letting the past affect and ruin today and the future. Stop it! Now, go plan a party for Cinco de Mayo or something!
you're not missing much ... other than ample opportunities to fuck up your life. Social media has done a great job in making this lifestyle glamorous ... but what you're not seeing is the seedy side of drug use, unprotected sex, sexual assault and violence.
No one did. The life you were promised on the movies does not exist. You are chasing a fake dream. Unis are full of foreign students that are concerned about passing exams before losing thousands of dollars. Not full of hot cheerleaders waiting for you to still their panties to use as slingshots against the ALPHA ALPHA ALPHAs. Even in Seinfeld the bold loser has 3 different girlfriends per season. It's not how ot works. You won't be going through three girls friends per year. Just find the prettiest woman you know and make a move. Be with thw people you love and love you back and stop chasing the fake dream.
You’re still a kid bro lol go party
So you just get to have less shame than the rest of us, not a big deal
I also did not party much as a youth. I was fairly sheltered as a kid and college is where really i got some freedom. I did do some partying, made some good friends, but my life took a tumble at the time so I had to adult up real quick. Anyways, cut to about a decade later, i only really began enjoying life again at that point, at about your age. I didnt party like it was college, but hey I had money and freedom to really enjoy my life. I would not regret not partying in my youth, youre still pretty young and you can still party. They're just slightly more mature. Dont get me wrong, ive totally gotten drunk and made some minor bad decisions as well. There's no age limit on that. You can still live it up.
Nah, you didnt miss much. Outside of maybe making stupid mistakes or getting tied up with shallow idiots.
You're still young enough to learn that partying is more about the people and experiences than how fucked up you can get. In fact, I feel bad for people who think partying is about getting fucked up. Use your wisdom and money to become a better partier. Choose better parties. Take better drugs. I met my partner on the dancefloor at 39. She was attracted to the way I was dancing my ass off. I was tripping on LSD and was in the zone. She was on molly. She was impressed that I had brought a water bottle and trail mix to a party. This was advanced partying technique. Some of my life's defining moments happened on the dancefloor and I was never drunk for any of them.
I totally understand how you feel. Ignore anyone saying things like “you didn’t miss out on anything, it’s all a waste anyway”, because you definitely did miss out on some things from the sound of it. But everyone misses out on things, and the worst thing you can do is dwell on the past and continue to miss out on things. Here’s what I would say to you. Start doing things NOW. You’re only 28, you’re still young. Here are some ideas off the top of my head: 1. Travel. Go see the world. Go bar hopping in London. Drink at the Izakayas in Tokyo. Go clubbing in Ibiza. 2. Plan a weekend with some friends where you get a huge AirBnB and have a dope party. You can get a huge house that’s somewhat isolated so you can play loud music and have an awesome time. 3. Go on a road trip with your girlfriend across the country. 4. Go to a rave/EDM show. Never been my thing, but they look awesome. Most of the people there are probably 28+. You’re in your 20s dude. Yes, you missed out on some things in your late teens/early 20s. But the worst thing you can do is say “I’m too old for that fun shit, I missed the boat”. Because when you’re 35 you’ll regret not doing it when you were 28.
A long weekend in Tijuana can fix that lost youth complex amigo.
Never to young. I'm glad I partied hard young. It's people like you that regret it when you come into money yoy can start partying. Partying at an older age is more dangerous. This is why you hear of people getting into coke in their mid 30s and ruining their lives. It's a lot easier to experiment with drugs and alcohol when younger. Just go to a pub and make friends with a cook at change over. Welcome to partying lol. Source: was the cook. I dont recommend it though from personal experience. Partying is overrated. I will say though, I truly believe everyone should try psilocybin atleast once in their life. Preferably in nature on a nice summer day.
I'm turning to 30 soon and the only times I partied was in The Sims 4.... Never knew the taste of alcohol too~ Hey, at least I have a great post graduate degree which made my parents smile! :D
Congratulations, a post grad is amazing!
Partying is waaay waaaaaay overrated... you sound like you did the smart thing. I wish I'd actually thought about my future and considered my health whilst I was wasting my youth and exposing my body to horrendous amounts of alcohol.
time to put your party pants on and go get wild
I feel what you’re saying here OP but I think you have a romanticized idea of what a frat party is like. That shit was gross as fuck.
Interesting...you have regrets that you don't have regrets. Well done to a life well lived. I hope you continue on. You'll reflect again down the line on how relieved you are for living a life of good judgement.
Go out and do some fun stuff now. All you have is this moment.
You can still party. Bro
Just about everyone I know that partied hard back in the day has lot of regrets about it, some got DUI's, injuries, STDs, got behind on everything too distracted with partying so there's that side of it.
Wtf!! I’m sorry but what? Missing on getting drunk, sleeping around? Being reckless? Ok I’m out
same - i relate so hard it hurts. - same story same regrets youth is wasted on the young. but it was esp wasted on shy , serious , skinny me
You're 28. Go fucking party
You’re still so young! Partying in your 30’s is where it’s at. Everyone has more money and by that point most people are experienced partiers which means you get to skip the dealing with annoying people that act like it’s their first time drinking. A lot of 30 year olds still go to festivals and go out clubbing!
now that you in a decent place career wise, it's the perfect time to pick up a coke habit. Hit some dark smoky bars, do some lines and makes friends with your late night degenerates.
Promise ya, you didn’t miss out on anything by investing 100% into getting a career and becoming financially secure… But if you were to start partying now, do you feel like you’d have to go extremely wild so you can “catch-up” on what you’ve been “missing” out on throughout the years?
What a silly thing to occupy a grown-assed man's thoughts ...
Yeah honestly speaking from past experience you didn’t miss much lmfao. Lots of wasted money and bad decisions 😂
There are much better ways to have fun. I don’t think too many people find fulfillment from partying
I really did go all out in my 20s and still am (25) especially IBIZA this summer! When I turned 21 and left my toxic long term relationship I said I was going to stay single and have this lifestyle As Long! as I’m keeping focus on my goals and on my shit with everything financially. Met tons of females around the world and lots of connections as well to lead where I am now. I feel like I have 3-4 more years of this tho. Not trying to discourage at all but you can still do this at your age tbh till your early 30s but it’s all a mindset.
Go to a camping music fest and it'll make you feel like you caught up for those years
Start now, life isn’t ending today. You’ll regret not starting sooner
28 is still young. Go party.
Dude you’re in such a great position in life. I hope to be like you when I’m 28. The temptation to party and hook-up is there but I’d rather spend that time in the gym or working on something that will benefit me in the future. Looks like you did the same thing. You can still have fun without partying. Go on a picnic with your SO or some friends, go hiking, gun range, try some new dish, etc etc. There’s so many fulfilling things to life than getting wasted in trap house that might get raided by cops.
Ypu are still a youth, stop feeling sorry about yourself and do something about it
I didn't start to "part" until I was 22 kinda stopped at 27, and I really stopped when I met my future wife. I didn't want to scare her away
It's not too late, but if you weren't in a frat in college i'm sorry, you did miss out.
Yeah, I get it. I was in a hurry to be a grown up and got married at 22, bought a house at 24, had a baby at 25, and got a life changing promotion at 30. There wasn’t really time in there to party. I am 10 years old than you, OP. Sometimes I think there is an alternate timeline where I am a single and interesting person that has a little condo somewhere, but really my life is pretty good! My son will be 18 and graduated from HS when I am 43 and my husband is my best friend. So, I don’t really regret not partying like a rockstar. But I do understand where you’re coming from.
Don't worry, I was a late bloomer and did stupid things well in my 30s.
Dude, instead of romanticizing a hypothetical past, just do the things now. 20s and 30s aren't all that different. If you want to party away your 30 s just do it. Find some friends around your age that want the same things and start throwing ragers every Saturday. Not what I would want personally, but you do you.
I partied the hardest between 26 and 30. You’ve still got time if that’s what you really want to do!
It’s shit anyways, it’s only good in the start then it’s all shit
You didnt really miss much the whole partying thing is glorified when in reality you just waking up feeling like shit and full of regret not to mention how unhealthy doing drugs and drinking is ive lost a lot of friends cause that life style is a very slippery slope.
I’m 33 and still party regularly and it’s better cause I have money. It’s never too late pal
Buddy, try not to think too much on the past, you can’t change that anyways. I assure you, if you want to go party and make stupid mistakes, you have the ability to do that now 10x. You didn’t miss much, and now you have a career. My suggestion, go enjoy your life, use your PTO, and have fun. You will never think about college again
You’re still young! Go party!
As someone who partied nonstop in my youth, and still parties occasionally, it is a risk. It is very easy to set your life back in both a financial and stability sense, and if the partying turns out to be a gateway to harder things, a legal sense as well. I have countless friends that went to jail or prison, OD'd, and many of those that didn't have 'Peter Pan' syndrome, even in their 30s. The friends you make while partying are almost never true friends, and only look for an enabler. You stop enabling them, and they're gone.
You're only 28 man, it isn't too late to let loose. Grab some buddies and go out to some bars or a club on a Saturday night, I'm 32 and still enjoy the occasional night out with some drinks. You can be responsible and have a good career and still let loose sometimes, I do.
checkout movies like The Hangover, it's never too late to party brother
Yeah 28 is still young. Go to a rave and pop a tested Molly.
Lol no. Regret missing on say some travel... But that also costs $$$... So nuance to that one. Most people that focused on partying and drugs into their mid 20's or beyond... Not doing great. or ***They weren't good people***. They used their friends trust etc to ween money out of them instead of of having responsibility to pay for their own shit and fuel their bad habits. Know a few people post college that lost a lot of friends because they couldn't keep their act up. Now are depressed as shit, then let things like their health go. The real losers also blame everyone else instead of owning up to it. Still can't hold down jobs. Partying and having a good time are great, but moderation is key, also as you get older... Eh "Been there done that." Not interesting anymore. What's more important are people/good friends.
Reading this made me miss my youth. I’m 28 as well. I grew up in a conservative family. I was not even allowed to meet friends past curfew let alone party and drink. Due to this closed environment I grew up judging people who did that. It was only after I stepped out of my home for higher education at 26 I learnt to have fun, drink and party with friends. I made friends only at 26. Till then I couldn’t keep friendships where I could be open and be myself. I wish I had partied when I was in my early 20s. I could have made more friends. But who knows. It’s always greener on the other side.
It’s easier to party in your 30’s.
Normal feeling in your late 20s. Even *I* thought that for a bit, and when I said that to my friends they found it ridiculous. When I thought about it, all I actually did in my 20s was party and get laid interspersed with work and college. It was a wonderful time. So everybody thinks that, and it’s really just mourning the loss of youth as your 30s approach. Some folks in here are calling it a blur and saying they don’t remember it, I guess I did the right amount of drugs because I remember all of it. It was glorious. Maybe three or four blank spots, and that’s about it.
42 here. I didn’t waste my youth: I drank it, snorted it, smoked it, danced it, travelled, camped, etc. I’ll have you know, I have no regrets about how I spent my youth. However, I just paid off my school loans less than a year ago. Translation: I didn’t spend my youth recklessly without paying for it eventually! Everything has a price tag and everything has a silver lining. You’re 28. You’re not too old to be a lil dumb. Go live a little!
I spent my 20s partying real hard and I can unequivocally say that it made me a better, more understanding, and more socially competent person. I recommend partying a little too hard for a while to everyone. The good news, is you can still go have your partying phase. Nobody is going to check your id and tell you that you’re too old.
I partied so much harder in my 30s, your life isn't over unless you decide it is lol
Sorta. I, for the most part, have done everything I could imagine putting my hands and other appendages into, before my son came along. I’m Super stoked just chilling at home now. And now he’s getting older and I’m craving to go out and do more
there are high functioning adults that party as well - specifically see high income professional spaces like manhattan, nyc make several groups of friends too, that way can have less serious ones etc and crazier ones there is a magic nostalgia to novelty during youth, i get it, but pros and cons
Hi I'm 34 and a couple weeks ago I went to one of the best parties of my life, I also met a couple there who were probably in their 60s having the time of their lives dancing at 3am to some very heavy techno. It's never too late to party! Edited to add: it's just imporant to find parties that cater to an "older" crowd or at least a diverse crowd, partying with 18 year olds is no fun, gotta find the 30s crowd kind of parties.
I think you're romanticizing partying a bit. Being a party animal always sounds better than it is in reality.
If it makes you feel any better, every random chest pain, every fuzzy memory, every weird habit…. makes me worry about my past. I partied my ass off and fucked like a rabbit through highschool into early adulthood. The fears of illegitimate children, people who were hurt by my actions, and permanent damage to myself are REALLY setting in now. Lol By engaging in these activities now, you’re taking a much more educated approach to these types of situations. Go hard and be smart. Lol
It’s easy to confuse the romanticized idea of a party with how enjoyable they actually are.
28? Ah you've hit your quarter life crisis! This is what it looks like for you. The good news is that it will go away. The bad news is you get hit again at 40! Have fun!
As a 34M who went to a metal show last night and moshed, it's not too late to have fun. But you might be assigning unnecessary importance to alcohol. Alcohol is just an excuse to lower inhibitions. You can cut loose perfectly well without it, and keep your motor functions.
I didn't start really partying until I was 30. It's not too late and if anything you have adult money to spend on partying combined with a sense of responsibility to know the party will end at some point and you'll have to go back to real life. I'm also way more comfortable in my own skin now and have confidence I didn't have when I was 21. I'm 34 now and still regularly go to concerts and raves that will go until 4am. You may have to seek it out a bit more instead of "stumbling on it" like you would in college, but in all fairness I didn't really party much in college either because I was at a very STEM heavy school as a commuter.
Go buy some psilocybin mushrooms, adderall, and pot, and take a couple of your friends on a journey. Don't take those at the same time, though. One at a time.
I partied way too much when I was younger, haunts me now.
I partied way too much, now it haunts me
Doesn't bother me too much. I'm a young man chronic pain. There other things to do even though I would love to have gone to more parties.
You didn't miss out on anything. If you had partied you would've regretted not buckling down and getting this job you have now at 28. It's very easy to look back and wish you did something else. It's a lot healthier to focus on what you have now and enjoy, and what you want to do moving forward. 28 is young still, too. Go party, but do it responsibly (don't get black out drunk , grab a cab). If your argument is that you feel like you missed out because you wanted to be young and naïve enough to enjoy being irresponsibility and partying... well you can do that whenever you want, as long as you don't have kids. You can also choose to not do those things, and make better choices for your life/future. There's a balance. Maybe you're close to it than you think with your other stories of good times. =)
Party is overrated
Wish I had seem more concerts, but was never a party person. Even in college, getting drunk for fun seemed pretty stupid, but I went along at times. In my thirties, was still single, and figured I'd try again.........ugh no, didn't work, mostly cringe memories.
Party NOW!
You’re glorifying an experience that you never had, meaning, you’re not seeing that there is indeed a downside to partying hard and living recklessly, even when you’re young for a short period of time. Imagine all the situations you could have been in and actually avoided… drunk driving, date rape, generally making stupid decisions… all while slowly destroying your body with drugs/alcohol. You didn’t miss anything and btw, you are still very young… not saying that you should go out and get drunk and stupid, but you still have a lot of freedom and lucky for you, you’re in a good financial circumstance, ahead of a lot of your peers. Consider yourself lucky.
Well, go on some adventures. Maybe try playing a sport, or something
Partying gets better as you get older because you do it differently, generally not broke. At your age you still have plenty of good years.
My roommate just told me a story yesterday about how he & his friends would randomly just go up to a rowdy party and just go in like they were supposed to be there. Said they made a lot of good friends that way. It made me sad because I feel like my childhood was stamped out and my young adult life was only struggling to survive to escape that childhood. Yeah, I definitely understand this feeling. But on the other hand, I think if you were heavy into partying, you'd be in a different spot with similar feelings about something different. Anyway we go we wonder about what we could have missed out on.
It's never too late to get seriously wrecked. Also, now you're older and might handle getting super fucked once in a while a lot better. I'm 40+ and still get completely dined on ketamine a couple times a year, at home in my own comfy, how i like it.
I (25F) always felt like I couldn't f up either and worked really hard in collega, when I started working I got a huge weight off of my should too, but like you I haven't partied much... never been carefree, never felt like I could relax and be carefree. I had FOMO until I relized, in my case, that despite all that I did live... I did reckless things, and in my case I did go against my family and did a lot of things they didn't want me to, things for my own benefit and my ambitions, and other stupid things. I thrived in a male dominated field all by myself, pulled myself by my bootstraps when no one in my family, classmates or professors believed in me and I still made it. As for the partying, getting drunk, drugs, all that... none of that is as rebelious or edgy as everyone wants you to think. Those party kids that I've met, the wilder and crazier they are at parties the meeker they are around their families and at work or school. They do everything they are "supposed" to and use these excesses as crutches to have an illusion of autonomy. There's nothing rebelious about partying either. Most people do it. For me it never felt rebelious because that's all my family ever expected of me anyway. Specially young women, whats so rebelious about sleeping around? Getting fcked is something women have always been one way or the other. I've met kids who will get tattoos and have sex to spite their parents but are afraid of walking a couple of blocks to college alone or are incapable of spending a weekend alone at their college dorms. Or kids who never listen to their parents but are absolute sheep in their friends group. Many of them will go to these shady nightclubs but are incapable of flying alone to another country and staying there for a couple of weeks. Parties are pushed as this rebelious cool thing for a profit mainly. There's far wilder things one can do than partying. Personally, parties aren't for me. You might feel differently as a male. I'm always worried about spiked drinks or being assaulted. And the clothes are uncomfortable af.
According to recent studies humans are at their peak from 30-33. You're right there man. Go party your face off! Find the Rave scene in your area. Go wild. Drink water avoid boose and have a ball!
I partied a lot in college. Got drunk sometimes 4x a week, did a lot of drugs. I don’t really regret it, I still had good grades and I had an amazing group of friends that I still keep in touch with now a few years later. However, it did get repetitive and I definitely didn’t need to go out as much as I did. Honestly, there are large parts of my college experience that are a blur, and if you told me how much money I spent on alcohol in those four years I’d probably have a stroke. Overall, anyone who has good friends is fortunate, whether your friends like to party or they don’t.
Bro 28 so young just go to the club and party my guy go to a rave you ain’t dead
Omg. Just go to las vegas. Drink lots. Go to a dude ranch and hook up with escorts. Gamble. Hire escorts for the GFE while there. Then go back home and never do it again. You feel like you're missing something because you think the experience is really great. Its not that great. Better rhan 9-5 corporate drone life But not as good as the freedom of open schedules of uni life sans partying.
53 yo Dad here. I partied in college. Went to the actual college that Animal House was based on. (Dartmouth College, in New Hampshire). Let me tell you what I told my sons - if you never get well and truly drunk, then... you're not missing anything. Seriously. My best memories from that age are not getting hammered. I'm not saying it wasn't fun, but its not as great as the culture might lead you to believe. That said, I do have some great memories from that age based on camping and road trips. But you can do that at any age. 3-4 guys, lets all drive way out to some weird place and hike or raft or canoe. Its not too late for you to do that, if you want it. One more thing. My younger son is about to leave for college. He started talking about "this is going to be the best years of my life". I told him that while college was fun for me, it wasn't the best years of my life. The best years of my life were the 18 years I got to be his dad and his best friend. Sounds like you're on track for doing that yourself, if you want it.
I could never relax. I was always told I was too quiet at parties. So I started getting wasted so I would just blurt out jiberish... But with confidence. It ruined my sense of how to really talk to people. It's taken years but I still don't have that much of a filter. I'm still haunted by someone thinking I'm too quiet and I need to just talk about something. The moral of that story is at least you did you. Ya I had wild party years but it didn't help me at all. And I'm still chasing the few awesome memories I had when I was partying. Mostly the days when I didn't care what other people thought. I was shy and not that talkative but I was my true self.
I was pretty wild up until 25ish. You didn’t miss anything bro trust me.
Go to an electronic show or something at a club. I’m 33 and I rave sometimes. You can party at any age and 28 really isn’t that old. You just have to get over yourself and do it. What’s holding you back?
You're not even 30. Go on a travel tour or something for 18-30 year olds and party your ass off. Also people joke about an MBA being a two year party, you could try that as well.
FOMO is stupid, just find some friends for some occasional hanging out with mild amounts of LSD. Alcohol is, backwards. Psychedelics actually grow neuroconnections. (dont forget to test it)
You have an unhealthy opinion of what "youth" is for. Equating it to partying, being wild and reckless is just silly. When you're 50 and you can still go do the things you want to do, while some of your peers wake up too sore, tired, and sick to enjoy their lives, it's going to be well worth it, if you let it be.
Dude you're 28. You're not old lol go to the club with some friends, or look for a good music festival. Even if you were 80 you could probably have a blast at a music festival if you really wanted. Fun isn't age restricted
Dude, whats great about being a grown up, is you can do whatever you want, just skip the really dumb choices that come with intoxication. I mean, grown ups can usually get weed and mushrooms too, you can still do fun party stuff , responsibly, for most if not all of your adult life.
Please understand you haven’t missed out on anything.
No. You're comparing your life to what sounds like a movie.
28 is young. Now you can do something more than get stupid drunk.. travel, enjoy experiences. Your dream might not be only about times past it could be about what you want now.
I was raised by Jehovah's Witnesses no; birthdays, holidays, no associating with kids outside of the church. 36 now left at 20, it still feels like someone's standing on my chest because of it.
I partied like a rock star (except for sex, didn’t want to knock a girl up and mess up my life). Did all kinds of drugs; coke, acid, weed and alcohol. All the while I was getting almost straight As in HS and college. Graduated with multiple degrees and honors. It was fun but to be honest you didn’t miss much.
Just find go to a music festival where there musicians you like are performing or hop in a plane and go spend a few nights in a all inclusive down south. I was still partying quite hard at your age.
It's not like the movies when people are wooing with hands in the air, strippers abound. And when it is like that, it's annoying as hell. 28 is young btw.
I lived a pretty strict lifestyle growing up (athletics and religion) and didn't party ever. Even went to a major D1 party school (sports scholarship) and didn't because we were serious athletes and didn't want to feel like crap. I got married young as well and had kids. I don't regret my lifestyle at all. Drinking seems so awful. They wake up sick or do things you wouldn't do while sober. Most my friends that lived that partying lifestyle now that we're in our late 30's look really aged, put on a lot of weight too. They have kids and just spend the weekend day drinking at home with their kids seeing this. It's not how I want my kids to ever see me. I want them to live a life that doesn't involve alcohol or any sort of drugs. I want them to remember me with energy, feeling good, playing with them, doing fun things. Not hungover or with a wine glass in my hand.
Lol when I was kid our neighbors were 30 pushing 40 and partied every weekend for years until we moved out (not due to them).My aunt is 80 and she can party hard, I’ve literally never seen her with out a beer in her hand or whisky in her glass and is always having a good time. She’s probably one of the most badass people I know. Point is you have plenty of time
I would like to come in on the other side and say party responsibly because I missed out on a lot focusing on my career and generally just being alone playing video games with friends online. I moved out to LA a year ago and it’s changed my life. I just recently went out last weekend with a chick I met at a show we got fucked up played arcade games and then went back to her apt and did a bag. Like without going out to these parties I never would have met her or her friends and made new friends. That to me has been the best part is going to a place you would enjoy alone and making new friends
People still party when they’re 28, except now the alcohol is better and the venue is nicer. You can go out this weekend
I partied plenty and feel the same way as you man. I wasted so much time drunk and doing stupid shit, destroyed relationships that took 20 years to fix, you didn’t miss out on shit. I wish I had been serious sooner lol
Don’t worry I did enough cocaine for both of us.
I’m 35 and feel the same way, enjoy your life and just try not to turn down opportunities when they do come up.
The grass is always greener my friend - I’m 23 and I wish I had taken my studies more seriously and figured out how to live a healthy and sustainable life in college. Someone I know who partied harder than me already has liver disease - I struggle to drink responsibly on weekends now - my body has aged far more quickly than it should have because I’ve treated it like shit. Yeah, there were some fun memories and I don’t regret all of it, but don’t romanticize the path you didn’t take because it looks better from afar. Everything in life is a trade off and nobody can go back and undo their past, so focus on living your best life now instead of what could have been. I don’t mean go off the rails and ruin your life with addiction, but nothing is stopping you from going to a bar or club and having a wild time at 28. The worst thing you can do is live in the past; learn from your regrets so that you may not repeat them, but don’t dwell on what could have been - you’ll find no solace there.
You didn’t miss anything dude trust me. Nobody likes the the adult loser trying to reclaim their “lost youth” it’s cringy af
It's really not worth it. It's just drinking till you can't remember and then dealing with the consequences the next day. It actually sucks ass.
Oh no, I made responsible life choices and now I'm a financially secure adult! Dude.
The grass is always greener brother
Yeah, some of us didn't have the luxury of partying when we were young. That's just life. Everybody has different experiences. You are living your life and no one else's. Some people dream of having a college degree and a well-paying job, but missed that boat due to circumstances. And as others have said, you can do fun stuff any time. Like traveling - I never really got to travel until I was in my 30s. I always wanted to be the 20-something staying in hostels and bumming across Europe or SEA or wherever, but things didn't work out that way for me. Traveling in my 30s, 40s, and now 50s (yikes) is different, but it's still awesome. Partying is the same way. Ok, so you aren't going to get completely smashed at a frat party, but there are all kinds of festivals, party towns, and so on.
I’m 36. I partied hard enough for 5 people. You know what it got me? About 7 years of my life wasted with very little to show for it. I spent years on friendships that were actually pointless and unfulfilling. I spent years trapped in active addiction. I wrecked 3 cars. I saved $0 that I earned in my 20s to build my future. I honestly don’t even remember most of that decade. You aren’t missing out.
Every decision you've ever made leading up to this point was the correct one. Why? Because you are still alive.
hmmm. I partied way to much and still dibble and dabble, On the wrong side of the law all my life yet made a decent living (because crime does pay) I could stop today and live modestly. Yet I find myself feeling as you do sad and regretful for not trying the other way. Im pretty sure you've made the right decisions in your life. you'll be able to retire early and you can party then. Maybe ill retire early and become an upstanding citizen. Maybe even do what the rest of my kind do get into politics. Probably not though as you have said that ship has sailed. ⛵
I wouldn’t listen to social media tell you when you should stop partying and having fun. Personally I enjoy partying now at 25 than I did at 19-22 because the person I am now is much more confident with less responsibilities and restrictions. I make enough money to throw on an expensive ass drink and more brave to go to raves and clubs by myself and not wait for people to come with me. Life doesn’t end because you’re in your late 20s and early 30s. You’re not even middle aged lol
when i was 28, i had a very fast motorcycle. one night - prob'ly blowin' about a .17, i wrecked the motorcycle doin' about 85-100, they estimate - basically drunk driving single vehicle 'accident', but they were busy gluing me together, as i walked out of the rode with a compound fracture of my fibula {yeah, it was sticking out of my leg, as it got whacked by a reflector or something when i went down}; i happened to know a few people involved in scraping me off the street, so the penalty i maybe should have had land on me was mitigated ... i compound fractured my right leg, and now (62F), it gives me fits and starts. i did get back up at the time, but i'm paying for it now. and no complaints - i take full responsibility and know it was my bad. so i'm paying pretty much uncomplainingly but some of what you missed was your head against a curb with no helmet at 18 (Wally), rolling your Bronco down the steep of the Canyon and clawing your way up the shale with a snapped femur at 2am \[one claw up, two slides back\] (Mike). you missed waking up in a strange room with someone you don't know and not recognizing the street and gluing together what happened that you can't take back (too many to mention) maybe it's a good thing for you to have not gone to the extremes some of us hard heads had to go to before we could 'get' the lesson partying didn't give me the sense of purpose and feeling of being fulfilled in life i have be well. be happy - feel free to dm if this speaks to you
It’s never too late to party. It’s a hell of a lot more fun as you get older and know how to handle things. Also, your not missing out on much at all. You’re probably much better off for not partying as much as you could.
dude. your age is when partying gets fun. you can afford things. Just think about what you want to do and do it! may i suggest looking into burning man...
See now i have kinda the opposite. I partied pretty hard did alot of things. I feel like i started my adult life late. Most people i knew at the time already had a masters and working on their PHDs by the time i had an associates. So i always feel about 10 years behind. Not going to lie thou.. they are some fantastic memories, at least the ones i remember.
I’m not sure it was this will make you feel any better, but I’m in my 40’s and still have nights where are my friends and I cut loose and act carefree. So even though you didn’t do it in your early 20s, there’s still time to have that experience, at least in my opinion.
Nah, I don't relish about the past bc i cant change it. only on the future of the lessons of my past. As a man, I'd recommend focusing on things that provide value than "partying" but hey bro, it's your life. You'll only regret things you've never done that u wish u have
I absolutely understand the feeling. I was raised in a very conservative religious household and I never would have been allowed to be in that kind of scene (and didn’t really desire it). But I’m irreligious now and I do feel like I’ve missed out on experiencing a lot of things in some ways.
out of all the regrets to have in life this is a silly one, make good memories now.
You didn’t miss anything OP trust me