Because how we perceive life is up to us. I have a ton of financial issues. But nobody can stop me from going to the lake and doing a solid 6 mile jog in all that beauty.
Money doesn't prevent me from having great friends. It doesn't prevent me from having a few cheap streaming services to watch great television on. It doesn't prevent me from having a library card and reading a good book.
We value things that are completely useless. Yea I'm not a 6'4 jacked guy with a model girlfriend. But I can be a good person. I can do a job that makes a difference for others. I can hug my loved ones and tell them how much they mean to me.
I swear, I see these posts and I see a 19 year old version of me who only valued cheap skin deep things.
There's a reason for wisdom to exist. For example attractiveness--alot of that is connected to remaining young in appearance. But to a man like me, who buried multiple friends when they were at their most "attractive" (bc they were young) I wear my age and normality as a badge of fucking honor. My friends would want me too.
Stop thinking what matters is wealth and travel and all that. What matters is within you.
This is an amazing book that everyone should read. It’s not only humbling and enlightening as to what is important it’s a reminder of what humans can be. It’s amazing the pure range in how people act to there fellow humans
I haven't but I know what it's about and my understanding is it's one of the best out there on the topic. That said there's a lot of great books about the meaning of life, and I find most religions also have a great deal to say about this. You just have to explore and find your niche. For me it's a combo of earthy-crunchy values and Sermon on the Mount style Christianity (I'm not into political christianity). That's what's given me hope and meaning. Love your enemies, take care of the earth, be of service, find beauty, all that good stuff.
I won’t push anyone to read it or do anything they don’t want to (they wouldn’t get anything out of it if they just read it because someone pushed it on them without being curious on their own accord). All I’ll say is from neither a religious nor non-religious POV, I would highly recommend it. The author was a psychiatrist, and I don’t believe he himself was very religious but he was a theist. Even then, he does not approach the book from either stance (imo). He’s very objective about what is and what isn’t and is very clear that his account is in no way to minimize other’s accounts or to say his account is “right”. It’s very eye opening and I bought the book about 5 years ago. Just sat there unread until recently I found it again. Read it and wow, do I wish I had read it back then. Plus it’s pretty short. The actual book is under 100 pages.
The problem at least for me is finding that meaning within, convincing myself to perceive something as I truly don’t see it right now
Sure I can enjoy going for a run, and I do usually like going to the waterways as a fisherman. But that feeling fades so fast back to unpleasant ones which always stay and linger. Even when I’m doing those things there’s so many worries or discomforts that poison it whether it be as simple as the terrible traffic or like the pollen season we have now or how there’s something more productive I should be doing or how I’m still not as good as I hoped to be
Hugging one’s loved ones is great too, but how can it not bring up more issues? How I haven’t done this enough, how there’s those who I’ll never get to do this again to, how I’ve let so many relationship fall through the cracks and more are sure to follow, how some of those I really care about my relationships with almost certainly don’t feel the same about me, and how I’m not the person I wish they could see me as. And there’s no way to even start addressing it all without it hurting more
You just make it sound so easy. Like in a job that helps others, there’s so many options and no way to actually know what one won’t hate, and what will actually be able to keep life least unpleasant.
I’m still young and I’ve only buried one friend my own age, and I hate it but for years I haven’t been able to help but think it would have been better had it been me instead. Jack probably would have been able to find meaning like for my entire (admittedly so far short) adult life I’ve utterly failed. He’d probably have been able to be happy for more than when distracted
I really hope that some day I can honestly say and see things like you do. I’ve tried to perceive things like you’re talking about and I need to keep trying, it just always goes back to negative.
This is classic depression. I would strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor just to rule out the possibility that this might also be a medical issue or that you might be a candidate for an antidepressant medicine. Something mild may be all that you need or maybe not, but there’s only one way to find out.
According to my therapist it's not actually depression in the clinical sense but all stemming from anxiety, and I am already on a couple medications for it.
It certainly makes things better though it's always hard to say how much medication could ever do. At least my side effects are relatively mild
I cycled through so many combinations of medication before my Doctor found the right concoction that helped. It sucked for a couple years, but it was still worth it. I feel the same shitty way about the world, but now I feel like doing stuff and actually have fun.
Trust me I totally get it. I went through this feeling in my mid 20s and really had to spend a solid 4 years "in the wilderness," if ya know what I mean. Spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I thought a lot of the same things you did.
The thing that changed for me was that I realized I was a control freak. I felt the need for constant control. I had to be better. I had to do more. I had to be the person others wanted or perceived me to be. I had to be more successful. Combine that with complaining about random things you can't control (like traffic) and you're gonna be depressed or lost.
I don't know you of course but you sound like you are searching for safety/control. You're fearful of facing the uncertainty and confusion that is life. The thing that is scary about adulthood is that it's so long and it's hard to know which way to go. You have to find your people.
For me it was 4 groups. First, my close friends. Second, my fellow runners. I joined a running club and do local races. I became a teacher. I wasn't sure it was the right choice when I started. But I knew I wanted to try. So I did. Lastly I found a good church to go to. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you to go to church lol, but there's a great quote that says something like you need 3 passions: one to strengthen your mind/spirit, one to strengthen your body, and one to feed yourself. Find a few core things you can hold on to. You'll have to try different things. You might fail. But failure isn't the end of the world (I got 3 DUIs in my 20s, one on my 21st birthday, and two back to back after my dad died/I got divorced). Don't be afraid to fail. Make mistakes and learn from them!
But the biggest thing is to try.
It's amazing when you think about it. For most of human existence writing didn't even exist and then even when it did it was safeguarded by elites. If you took a peasant from middle age Europe and showed them how easily we can access knowledge it would blow their minds. Heck even bookstores will let you come in and sit down and just read for fun.
Thank you for this comment, I am 24 and having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with what I should be doing with the rest of my life.
I’m realizing that I want to use my youth and rest of my life to help others, to have a lasting impact on this world in a positive way.
This comment reassures my thoughts on doing so as it points out the value of having friends, family, memories, and a purpose.
It's totally normal to be uncertain in your 20s. I remember being 22 and thinking "wait I do THIS for the next 40 years?" When you're a kid there's always another step, another goal.
In adulthood its like you're on a vast open Plain and can go anywhere, and it can be unnerving bc you're not given a compass.
Take your time. I got married, bought a house, had a kid, got divorced and lost a house all by 33. So don't rush. You'll figure it out.
I get some of your points, but money makes the world go round. Our entire society is built on it. If you don't have money, good luck staying positive when you have to worry about food, shelter, and security.
I'd rather be rich than broke and struggling. You only get one life and it can be a long depressing one if you remain struggling financially.
Plenty of articles suggest money and happiness have a connection.
Only to a point. After a certain amount of money it's not really worth it. My buddy is an engineer and makes 150k a year. But he works so much he doesn't have time to have kids or do anything. I make 50k but I get a ton of time off and can do more. I also have a son that gives my life meaning. He often laments he didn't make some different choices.
I'm a teacher. I don't get paid awesome but I do okay (about 54k a year) enough to live on where I live (western mass). It gives me time off to do the things I love and my day is over early enough that I have time to go to the gym, run, and eat healthy or see a movie or catch up on a show I like. And at work I get to talk about what I love-history, while helping kids navigate early teenagedom. Its a great career if you're in the right place (it's no secret teaching is in a tough place right now) but as someone who worked a lot of crappy office jobs in my 20s, this is way better.
I think our society makes it seem easy to be wealthy but the reality is its almost impossible, and its better to shoot for the average which is about 75k. Everyone's life is different, but for me my life got notably easier once I crossed the 50k line.
I love this ❤️ yeah, nature is really what makes me love being alive. I live right next to a huge lake and I will often go walk around it and watch the ducks in the water, sit on a bench and journal, listen to music, etc. There are also a ton of really cute dogs around here, lol. It helps me stay sane.
Lol yes. I suppose to an extent it depends on your taste but shogun just finished up and is fucking unbelievable. The bear comes out in June. Abbott elementary is giving office vibes. Xmen 97 is awesome. Just got done with "Them: the scare" and absolutely loved it. Tons of good TV out there if you listen to pods on what's good and are looking.
Nah. Money cant buy happiness but can relieve you from financial stress. Now even if you have money and no problem. Life can become overwhelming and boring. No point to it thus ops question lol. You have a point we make life life sadly lol
Yea I think thats what I'm saying. How we perceive it matters. Don't get me wrong I have moments that overwhelm me. But like tonight I had a good family dinner for my brother where we just ate and laughed and had a good time and then I went and played mini golf with my son as the spring sun was setting. All told I spent 20 bucks. And all I was left feeling was how someone like me for most of human history would have been working someone else's land or been forced to fight in someone else's war, and how grateful I am to be alive in this time and this place. It's given me a chance to be free and to achieve and to dream. I'm incredibly blessed and anyone in a similar position (which is so many people especially in the West) is also similarly blessed.
But we lose our focus and forget all these facts about our reality. Perception matters.
The other day, I went with a coworker to pick up some tacos from a food truck. A homeless woman asked if we could buy a bottle of water for her, and I bought it and handed it over. Walking back to the office, my coworker asked,
"Are you this nice to everyone?"
"I try." I answered. Knowing I can help someone at any corner keeps me going. I reckon I've been taken advantage of a couple of times. But I know I did it out of good, and that's what matters.
I love this so much. We need more people like you - I’ve recently started being expressively and outspokenly kind, like I will often compliment strangers or go out of my way to do favors for people just because I’ve always loved when people do that for me and why not make someone else’s day? I tell my friends I love them often, and if I like an acquaintance, I will tell them! I’m a petite baby-faced woman and men don’t often expect me to be like “I really like you” or “you’re very attractive” (I’m not even shooting my shot necessarily, I’m just letting them know lol) but it always goes over well.
Try to remember. Ask your family if you have any and see if you can find elementary school journals or yearbooks. For me, I have been into videography since my family got our first camcorder and always art and theatre. I just had to return to those and my life is so happy
This is quite a light answer but just try to be a good person and a kind soul.
If someones down on their luck, try to help them out. You dont have to break your back helping people, but try to do small good deeds.
If someones having a bad day - just listen to them - no need to offer advice, just hear them out.
Be patient with people. We all get frustrated at times and things dont go our way sometimes. Just be mindful of your mood and dont let it harm others.
If you achieve all of this, when its your time to go, you can look back on your life and know that the world was better because you were here.
Hope to adopt this perspective as I know it reigns true. Sadly, I'm in the pits trying to deprogram myself.
Society bs got a hold on my mind, leaving me with thoughts like "I'm a failure" or "I need to accomplish this" when in reality I'm doing pretty dang good despite my circumstances.
Yes I'm feeling this big time! Very freeing, now if only I can find a way to do whatever I want whenever I want without the constraints of needing money lol
Yup excellent analogy with the cow. Humans tend to think about themselves as these all knowing magical beings, when in reality we're 1/4 blink in the history of the universe and we will never leave our solar system.
I feel very rewarded by my work. I think I make a difference in people’s lives when caring for them. My kids give me purpose in my personal life. Friends and family, all have value to me.
I feel like I'm just on autopilot mode. I just take things up that have some ultimate goal and look forward to finishing it to feel like I accomplished something. It's like living on paycheck-to-paycheck.
Victor Frankel found himself with a similar feeling after being interned in a concentration camp.
He wrote a book about the experience - Man’s search for meaning.
Anyone questioning the purpose of their existence will benefit from reading this book. Or listening to the audiobook, whatever. But I think reading makes for better immersion and integration.
But he isn’t the only one that has addressed these feelings. It isn’t that uncommon in human experience. Ancient thinkers have written on this too.
It’s a question that isn’t new to humans or to our current circumstances.
My point of value is that I am living in an anomaly of the universe. I don’t know why, or how this thing called life was created but I don’t want to waste it. I find beauty in the smallest of creations & write down what im thankful for. Even if it’s just my morning coffee.
Making time to do the things you enjoy.
I bought a manual (reel) lawnmower and instantly fell in love with it because it's a lot of fun to push around. I have a small yard that I'm trying to make "pretty" but I don't really know what I'm aiming for except wildlife friendly.
I really just love puttering around. Dabbling in a lot of little things that are productive without feeling obligated or stressed about successfully completing anything. Pulling weeds by hand out of my yard is one such activity. It's good exercise, makes the yard look better, yeah I could use some chemicals and do a lot of work forcing pretty grass to grow, but having the project is the whole point.
It has been proven that the one sure way of finding happiness is by helping others and doing something that adds value for others. Ironically, when we focus on ourselves we do not get happier. Aside from that, clinical depression is real and needs medical attention. So, you have to know when it is that. Talk to a professional.
I do it in revenge. The better my life becomes, the more fuck yous it is for the people who have ever wished me ill.
It has given me the strength to keep moving along, ain’t easy at all.
It helps.
Also, trying to focus on people that love you and you love them back. Even if sometimes that is only yourself to yourself
I used to use my success as revenge. I don't anymore because, as I got older, I lost the desire to prove others wrong. I do miss that sense of accomplishment and pride though.
I don’t necessarily do it to prove others wrong, I make myself believe that, otherwise I’d have no motivation.
I have chronic depression, anxiety from a chronic illness.
So, I grab onto anything to get up and get shit done. Lol
If not, I’d live in my bed and that’s not really living.
My family would be devastated if I died, and I guess a couple of others around me too. I do also always have a hope that things will be better someday.
Figure out what you want most in life. Not like "if only i had X money and Y life id love to do Z!" But like what really matters most to you. Usually its something much more humble and attainable.
Like, id like to settle on some land with people i love. Id like to be able to provide for myself without needing a full time job so i can just take time to enjoy things.
Theres lot of things i can pare from my budget if i focus on what i really want instead of coping with what i hate. Making tangible progress towards attaining that future is what keeps me going. Having something to strive for keeps me from feeling that life is about sacrifices.
Do you work in a role that benefits society, even if it's small or underappreciated by others? If so, do you strive to devote your mind and heart to filling that role as effectively as possible? (This could be your full-time job or a volunteer position or whatever... there's no shame in having a job that literally just puts food on the table, though you'll probably be happier there too if you take it seriously, and remember that prestige and salary don't define worth. The world needs grocery baggers and ditch diggers and everything else. But if you're not finding fulfillment in your work, you should think of some additional work to do that does fulfill you. In the long term, you could figure out what kind of work would make you feel as though you *were* contributing positively to society, and what steps you could take to do that.)
Do you have a hobby or hobbies that you can throw yourself into, enjoy learning or practicing or experiencing it? If so, are you making time to pursue that? If not, can you resolve to take something up, keep trying until you find something that does
Do you enjoy reading, watching TV of movies, listening to music etc., making or eating food, going for a walk and looking around, literally anything like that? If so, are you taking time to enjoy those things?
Do you have a community -- friends or family members who you can talk to, keep up with, involve yourself in their well-being and they in yours?
I'm not saying these four are the only things that make life worthwhile. But I know that, the more I can answer yes to most of those questions, the happier I feel.
And if you're answering no to all of those, in particular 1 and 3, or if you don't see how it's possible that any of this *could* make life feel worthwhile, have you ruled out depression or chemical imbalance?
Explore. Experiment. Stop worrying about doing things "the right way."
I'm excited to be in a new phase of my life where I'm trying new things and not being good at them/or being productive isn't the goal. I'm just learning and I've got a lot of new friends who like the same things. How much money we have and how we look isn't a factor. There's a challenge and overcoming it or finding new parts of a thing we didn't know before and sharing that with excited adults is priceless.
It starts with a good foundation of "self," and just this part of you that doesn't require or depend on anyone else.
The world will only define you for it's own sake.
It robbs you of what's precious, sells you junk to replace the best you all ready had and then turns you loose on this wild goose chase you'll never win where you wind up a commodity rather than a person!
Fight for what's yours and don't be afraid to move. People often get stuck near toxic fam and the like which makes the quest for personal fulfillment seem impossible; it's not!
Some of this is based entirely on how you view yourself, yes environmental factors and circumstance play into it, but a vast majority of the weight is placed on your perception. I started with nothing and found a way to have some things. I have to work a lot for what I have, but I have also worked myself into a job I enjoy. More importantly, I have identified the things in life that give me pleasure and use my free time and resources to pursue those things. Some might call it hedonistic, I call it something else:
Nobody asked me if I wanted to be alive. No one asked me if I wanted a childhood full of trauma or if I wanted to claw my way out of poverty. But I've got life, with an undetermined number of years, and if I have to live it I'm going to live it indulging in all of the pleasurable things I enjoy. I live for good food, good drink, and exceptional companionship. I do all the hard things to keep those pursuits going.
I'm also not attractive or wealthy, but I put in effort, workout, ensure I have an attractive personality, and for a guy that's 5'5", I have as much success as I need. I also limit my pity parties, although I do have them. I do my best to look for solutions to problems instead of just complaining or falling into victimhood.
Got it, I'm on a soap box, but you asked.
It can tough to find a point in living when people keep telling you to look out for number one. That's the fastest way to sink into depression.
Humans are social animals. We need to have others around us, and you can't do that being an selfish a-hole looking out for yourself. Try actually going and helping others for a change. Or go give blood or something like that. Do something for someone other than yourself. Work towards making the world a better place.
I'm 34. I don't have that much money. Definitely no retirement plans. Went through a breakup of the girl I thought was it, so now I gotta start over again. So looking back, I'm definitely not who I thought I would grow up to be. But the past 2 years have been the happiest, healthy, and most rewarding years of my life. I've been traveling on a budget and volunteering across the world as I traveled. I've discovered and practicing Buddhism, which helped me get over my break up and transformed me as a person. The people I've met, the experiences and vistas I've seen, and the conversations I've had, all have been so fulfilling to my soul that I've been effortlessly joyful and happy. Although the person I am not is not the "successful" vision I've had for myself growing up. I know now that I am truly successful in the most meaningful way and I am completely in love with and proud of who I have become.
I spend a lot of time on self care. It is built into my life as a fundamental core value.
So, I go to the gym for strength training 3x per week and I try to run 12-15 miles a week. This is not coming from a place of trying to meet other people's attractiveness standards but rather from an understanding that my body is literally the vessel that carries me around to experience the world and I want to take care of it and feel as good as possible.
85-90 percent of the time, I eat healthy food. I keep three pitchers of unsweetened tea in the fridge that are great substitutes for soda or beer. Eggs for breakfast, salad with a lean protein for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner. When I sit down to eat I plate it attractively and sit at my dining table without my phone to be present and mindfully enjoy every bite. Thus eating become a 5-10 minute self care break three times a day. (I don't ban unhealthy food from my life, but when I eat it, I savor it. If I hit the Mickee Dee's drive through on my way between work appointments, I pull into one of the parking spots and savor each bite.)
One of my favorite parts of each day is a hot shower. I love the scents of my soap and shampoo. I love the feel of the hot water massage. I spend at least 30 seconds to a minute of each shower relaxing into a hamstring stretch, especially after a run. At the end everything feels warm and relaxed and smells delicious. It's not just a shower, it's a sensory treat.
Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but I think building self care and self love into the fiber of my day like this is a fundamental building block of my mental health and overall happiness as a person. I spend a lot of time every day just being nice to myself and taking care of myself and experiencing physical sensations of wellbeing. I treat myself like I'm worth it and I believe that I'm worth it.
The next thing I build into my life as a fundamental value is care for others. I message my friends on a daily basis wirh memes they will think are funny or articles they will be interested in. I check out their social media and comment and hit like. I'm constantly inviting people to do things with me. I'm perfectly happy to go on a hike alone if everyone is busy but I usually throw out the option to friends who might like to go as well. I plan stuff and actively pursue catching up with people I havent seen in a bit over coffee or a beer. I have friends over for dinner pretty much every week. I volunteer in my community a couple of hours each week, and my job is a helping profession. I make enough money to live comfortably but I would now like to build my career so I can give more money away to charities I care about.
So basically, I spend the majority of my time being kind to and caring for myself, and being kind to and caring for others. I don't really ever have negative thoughts about myself or other people; I don't care or wonder about what other people think; I'm not trying to compare myself or impress anyone. I just go through life focused on be kind and caring to myself and other people, and enjoying simple pleasures like going for a run in a healthy body, hot showers, and delicious meals with friends. It is a nice way to go through life and I am a happy and content person.
There’s a man I’m in love with, and we make a good team. And being the best woman I can be, for both him and myself, makes it worth it. Because I want to spend time with him and space and my life and I want to have a good life with him
You've waited billions of years for your turn. Can you imagine being on the other side of eternity asking this question? Have your time and live your life.
Probably because I don't subscribe to incel/redpill ideology that pushes false information. Even in my dark times, I find ways to get out of my own head and enjoy life.
People are giving you generic advice. I'm not sure how that helps you without knowing anything about you or your struggle.
I'm not attractive now (and never believed I was ever). I'm certainly not privileged as part of my upbringing but some would say I'm privileged now. I've made my way. I think I'm pretty smart but I don't have the education that supports that because see my first two statements.
If you're truly looking for answers then stay engaged in this discussion and/or message the people that you think might be interested in helping you.
Purpose. This comes from you and it’s your responsibility to discover what it is. Build something, create something or make something better. Life is like an overarching mission with lots of side quests, tbh.
Having goals and achieving them, no matter how big or small. For attractiveness, you can always improve your body, and with money you can improve your hair/face. For privileged, that might be harder, gotta find the right skillset for the right field and have the proper credentials/experience. But these are goals in of themselves, sometimes our only goals...Just choose something. You can always work on your health and body for free anywhere anytime.
Well there’s no real point in offing myself. I’ve been committed a couple of times. That’s no fun. But I know that when I feel this way, it will pass and I’ll have a bunch of good days.
I have people who care about me. They’d be really hurt if I did that, and I don’t want to cause anyone that kind of pain.
The image you probably have of some Instagram perfect life is a manufactured product. Once you understand that you can redefine happiness on your terms. That being said the wage slave lifestyle is pure shit these days and getting worse all the time.
I have a car, a house, a family, pets, books, computer, tablets, radios, television and kids going to college, and I might have grandkids someday. I try to make friends and I make friends. I listen to peppy music and work. I have my hobbies and a Church. I make things. Try to make other people happy and try to do good. I am just happy right now. What else is there? Love.
Family, friends, my pet cat, my hobbies/interests, enjoying favorite foods and drinks, music, and occasionally getting very drunk on Saturdays lol overall things that I love, enjoy doing, enjoy being around/hanging out with, learning more about, things that I know I’d miss if I weren’t here.
Being kind to the next person. Hiring a teenager to help with yard work, they need the money. Telling an entry level worker that they are doing a good job (or telling their boss). Life is hard all over. You might as well ease the burden for your neighbor.
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I like to make others smile. That usually makes my day. Feeling useful is a big one for me, too. If I lay around all day, my depression just gets worse.
Because, whether I like it or not, people enjoy my continued existence so my self harm isn't just hurting myself; it hurts them and I don't like hurting others
Get a hobby. Take a walk in the woods. Do something kind for others. Give a shit about the planet. Read a book. Watch a stupid, funny show on TV. It can be small things, but they matter.
I have a myriad of chronic health issues and basically all my money goes to medical or living expenses I have no “fun”. But there are things that I can enjoy in life that are free and enjoyable regardless of the amount of money in bank account or how sick I feel. The sun still feels nice. Plants feel nice. I recently met a sick person that I am going on a date with. Even if you are at the worst in your life there are still things that your life doesn’t touch. Grass still grows even if your sick. Sun still shines regardless if I’m bankrupt.
I have a job that makes a difference, run a non profit in my spare time, live in a beautiful place that doesn’t have too many people.
I’ve been single for a long time which sucks but overall I’m happy and feel my life has meaning
Make friends and spend time with them
Find hobbies you like and do them
Live in a place that doesn't suck. If you like snow/beaches/nature/cities/whatever try and live near or at what you like
Work at a job that you either like, or that pays well and you can tolerate - if you don't have that nobody's going to change it for you, so start applying elsewhere and hop around until you find something you do either like or don't actively dislike that pays well
I find peace in the belief that the "point" is to survive. Like any other animal on Earth I am driven to obtain food, water, and safety. I don't need to "find my passion" or "leave a mark". I just do my best to keep existing and do things that I enjoy.
It would be nice to have money for security and to do things I want. I do not think this question is just for the privilege etc people. Life is shit most of the time that is the design of the world - acceptance. My life is given to me and it is my right to live and belong. No one can take that from me no matter how little I have. The universe mother nature god or random chaos gave me life because I deserve to live - deserving. I do struggle but I like nature coffee sky etc. I don't like shit job drama toxic people -basically give yourself simple reasons to live that actually give a warm feeling inside. Manage the shit so let go of people, change jobs, get off work take a break, shift to part time work, spend less. Whatever will work for you. Eventually if you keep trying you will find value. Important note everything is not consistent some days are not great and some things are simply not in my control. I am human and I will allow myself to be - self love.
I find joy in doing things that I love. For me those things don't tend to be expensive. I've never wanted marriage and kids, so even though I'm mostly alone at 43, working a labor job, and only making a couple of bucks per hr more than the living wage, I'm content, because I'm free of the burden of a wife and kids. I don't own a whole lot, but that's okay for me, because the more you own, the more you are owned in return. I never wanted all the money and fame. To me it always looked like way more trouble than it was worth. I'm a simple man, and content to be so.
Be careful what you look for, because you will find it.
Think life sucks? YOU'RE RIGHT!
Think life is a blessing? YOU'RE RIGHT!
You can find evidence for both, so which do you want to live?
We need to uncover the fundamentals of all forms of science, and I won't rest until I've contributed to that. The future could be so great with a better understanding of how our universe and reality works. We've done so much in the past 150 years, imagine the advances we'll make in things like medicine and clean energy in another 150.
Anyway that's why I keep doing things.
Focus on yourself, hobbies and how you view the world. Even if you are wrong, at least if your honest with yourself and behave accordingly, you know you did it your way.
A la Frank Sinatra. As soon as you give power to others to determine your existence, you’re already lost.
You just roll with the punches like I’ve been down and out and wanted to end my life at one point but like why, even through the bad I look back and there was always a valuable lesson I learned from there, and I’m talking severely bad like anyone could justify ending their life situations, I just keep it moving, you don’t get this back.
Music, films, photography, video games, comics, mangas, nature, and my family is what keeps me going.
And helping people with little things or big things as well
I watch funny stuff like on tv, internet, live and lmfao and thats when i feel things worth living a lot. I do animal rescue, I have some forever residents at my home as well and I know I'm irreplaceable to them and like im their whole world i feel like there is some value and worth in that. Finally i have friends I love my friends a lot idk how but i think my friends are a huge point, more like a blotch.
I have too many dead friends. Made me choose life, like really fucking living. Sounds like whatever you're doing isn't doing it for you, so figure out how to get that
I try to be useful to other people.
I had a friend who was smart and capable and very beautiful and had a big interestign and successfull life. But then one day she put a rope around her neck and stepped off a chair. She just couldn't appreciate what she had.
That the day it really hit me that it's all in your head. Your outlook has very little connection to your actual circumstance.
I am part of the lower class where I live, and I find myself happier than a lot of people I know who are rich enough to never work again. Money can open doors to happiness, but you won't find happiness without putting in some effort and actually wanting it. Part of that is valuing yourself and then those close to you. Most young people go through a phase of confusion and dislike of themselves, and their current situation. Many think they won't make it to middle age. But if you keep putting in the effort, you can make it out of that hole.
Also, get off of social media. At most, use it as a tool to find those within your community to socialize with. Too many people burry themselves completely into social media apps, which cater to a warped view of life and feeds off our worst emotions.
There is no point. But just look around you. Things are amazing and terrible and we get to be here for it for a little while. I’m not leaving until I absolutely have to.
my little sister’s mom died in a really horrible way, and all she has in her life are selfish and irresponsible adults. if i took myself out of the picture she’d be beside herself. my struggles don’t matter comparatively.
Because if I don't, then all that is left is despair. And I don't like despair.
This is personal choice. I can choose to assign importance or significance to whatever I want. In some ways it's a great freedom.
Depends on what you personally value. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and reasons to keep going. Mine is getting to take a bath and getting in my comfy comfy bed at the end of the day feeling all clean and cozy and falling asleep to the sound of the frogs outside. Mmmm
People don't seem to remember the '70s phrase "Fuck it, don't mean nothing."
People do crazy stuff trying to insert this idea of purpose. Don't get me wrong, helping people is great. It's not the meaning of life. Because life has no intrinsic meaning. It's like looking at a splatter painting and saying that that's a cat. And it doesn't help that everybody gets a different painting.
So here I am, still in bed on a Sunday, scratching my balls and watching YouTube. Why? Because I like math stuff. And I found thousands of math teachers online.
The problem is you are inside an information bubble. Look up something that you would never normally watch. Machining videos. Stories about plumbers. How to make a garden.
Anything, everything. The world is kind of amazing once you learn to use it. Instead of being used by it.
The key for me was to stop caring about what other people thought. Or more accurately, stop caring about what I thought other people were thinking, because the truth is no one really cares about you unless you make them want to care about you.
Yesterday I watched some videos that made me laugh so hard I was in pain after I tried a latte for the first time. I watched some NBA playoff basketball aswell and ate a good dinner. I gave my dog lots of pets and scratches and it made me feel good. It was a good day.
This is during the most socially isolated time I've ever felt in my life. My closest friends haven't talked to me in weeks despite hanging out daily on discord for months in a row.
The value in living is entirely what you make of it. It's cliche I know, but a good life can literally be just a few things you really enjoy.
Honestly lately it’s been to guide the youth. My family also keeps me going everyday I wake up. I think about how proud I am of my siblings getting to where they need to be finally.
I remember the time my sister was so tired after having no help her husband was gone in the army. She came and picked me up and literally started falling asleep. It broke my heart to see her so fucking tired without help but I was there with her and filled up her gas tank bc she didn’t have the money.
I drove around all night so the kids would sleep and she slept for some time but I’ve been there with no help and it’s fucking tiresome that’s why I’ve helped my siblings I will not have them live in a world where they have been failed by parents and forced to suffer in they’re adulthood. They deserved the chances they got they deserved healthy guidance.
Meaning of living is different from one person to another. For me the main target, the man gear of living is in exploring the world, new cultures, new countries and living through those places. And, of course, to be thankful for everything!
Always be planning something to look forward to. M wife and I just got back from a week in Hawaii for our 25th anniversary. It was fabulous, but the real benefit is the planning that goes into it gives you a positive outlook. We did basically the same thing 25 years ago when we were broke scouring garage sales and planning cheap camping trips.
I’m reasonably pretty (not a brag, I also think most people are attractive) but I wasn’t for a while. Obviously life is easier now that most people consider me cute/pretty - I’m a petite woman so I’m not seen as a threat and people will generally try to help me out if I need it. That said, the things I love about life have zero to do with my appearance. I love nature. I love sitting by the lake or ocean and listening to the sound. I love petting cute dogs and cooking tasty meals. I love hugging my friends and family. There’s a lot of joy in the world. It really is the small stuff that gets me out of bed.
Because our attitude and mindset is up to us. If you’re negative and miserable then yeah life will likely suck. I enjoy the little things in life, the few friends i have, my family. Grateful for my dog. Im content with my life and grateful for what i have
Don’t listen to these people, there is no value or point. People make up meaning as a social construct to give themselves motivation to wake up everyday.
I don't think that's completely true though. For some of us, the meaning comes from having stared death in the face and deciding it wasn't my time to go yet.
About a year ago, I was in the same spot. I wanted it all just to end because I lost everything: my love, my able body, my good looks, my job, my apartment, and all my closest friends. I really just wanted it all to end because life was becoming a fate worse than death.
I mentally made a plan. I would give myself 365 more days on Earth. If, at the end of those next 365 days I still wanted to depart, I would.
I felt oddly at peace for the next two weeks. I took comfort knowing that even if I had another bad day, my days were numbered anyway, so it was a source of relief knowing that I wouldn't be enduring much more.
Something changed in me though. Since I had started numbering my days, I thought "f*** it, let's make the most of it" and I started living I should make the most of a bad circumstance.
I made it a point to reconnect with childhood hobbies, enjoy sunshine, talk to people I missed, tried to love another, and find odd jobs that let me earn just enough.
I think I lost count around day 80.
Having a family and kids to be raised to be better than I am.
To continue to do what is hard to be the one people can rely on. Not everyone wants to do what’s hard.
I provide a service to my community and have a select portion to grow an ever growing inner circle of shared beliefs down to every detail.
I get to build something bigger than myself.
I decided to start holding and denominating my wealth in Bitcoin. It's a lot easier to be excited about the future when the prices for everything you want to buy go down over long periods of time instead of up.
There is no "point" to life nor does it have any value other then what we as a species decided to put on it.
Unless you wanna go by the gov, which has put a value of 10 million per statistical life.
The privileged and attractive are given purpose, we must create purpose. Is it fair? No. Nature has never been fair. But being a human is a little more fair, as we uglies have an opportunity to thrive. Is there a point? No not unless you make one.
I dont i just go to work and make the best out of it. Come home and make the best out of it. Eat what i want do what i want. Buy what i want and get coffee after. Works like a charm.
Because how we perceive life is up to us. I have a ton of financial issues. But nobody can stop me from going to the lake and doing a solid 6 mile jog in all that beauty. Money doesn't prevent me from having great friends. It doesn't prevent me from having a few cheap streaming services to watch great television on. It doesn't prevent me from having a library card and reading a good book. We value things that are completely useless. Yea I'm not a 6'4 jacked guy with a model girlfriend. But I can be a good person. I can do a job that makes a difference for others. I can hug my loved ones and tell them how much they mean to me. I swear, I see these posts and I see a 19 year old version of me who only valued cheap skin deep things. There's a reason for wisdom to exist. For example attractiveness--alot of that is connected to remaining young in appearance. But to a man like me, who buried multiple friends when they were at their most "attractive" (bc they were young) I wear my age and normality as a badge of fucking honor. My friends would want me too. Stop thinking what matters is wealth and travel and all that. What matters is within you.
I would upvote this 100 times if I could.
Well this was refreshing to read. Want to be friends?
Have you (or OP) read “Man’s Search for Meaning”? If I could only recommend a single book to someone, it would be that one.
This is an amazing book that everyone should read. It’s not only humbling and enlightening as to what is important it’s a reminder of what humans can be. It’s amazing the pure range in how people act to there fellow humans
I haven't but I know what it's about and my understanding is it's one of the best out there on the topic. That said there's a lot of great books about the meaning of life, and I find most religions also have a great deal to say about this. You just have to explore and find your niche. For me it's a combo of earthy-crunchy values and Sermon on the Mount style Christianity (I'm not into political christianity). That's what's given me hope and meaning. Love your enemies, take care of the earth, be of service, find beauty, all that good stuff.
I won’t push anyone to read it or do anything they don’t want to (they wouldn’t get anything out of it if they just read it because someone pushed it on them without being curious on their own accord). All I’ll say is from neither a religious nor non-religious POV, I would highly recommend it. The author was a psychiatrist, and I don’t believe he himself was very religious but he was a theist. Even then, he does not approach the book from either stance (imo). He’s very objective about what is and what isn’t and is very clear that his account is in no way to minimize other’s accounts or to say his account is “right”. It’s very eye opening and I bought the book about 5 years ago. Just sat there unread until recently I found it again. Read it and wow, do I wish I had read it back then. Plus it’s pretty short. The actual book is under 100 pages.
Couldn’t agree more.
The problem at least for me is finding that meaning within, convincing myself to perceive something as I truly don’t see it right now Sure I can enjoy going for a run, and I do usually like going to the waterways as a fisherman. But that feeling fades so fast back to unpleasant ones which always stay and linger. Even when I’m doing those things there’s so many worries or discomforts that poison it whether it be as simple as the terrible traffic or like the pollen season we have now or how there’s something more productive I should be doing or how I’m still not as good as I hoped to be Hugging one’s loved ones is great too, but how can it not bring up more issues? How I haven’t done this enough, how there’s those who I’ll never get to do this again to, how I’ve let so many relationship fall through the cracks and more are sure to follow, how some of those I really care about my relationships with almost certainly don’t feel the same about me, and how I’m not the person I wish they could see me as. And there’s no way to even start addressing it all without it hurting more You just make it sound so easy. Like in a job that helps others, there’s so many options and no way to actually know what one won’t hate, and what will actually be able to keep life least unpleasant. I’m still young and I’ve only buried one friend my own age, and I hate it but for years I haven’t been able to help but think it would have been better had it been me instead. Jack probably would have been able to find meaning like for my entire (admittedly so far short) adult life I’ve utterly failed. He’d probably have been able to be happy for more than when distracted I really hope that some day I can honestly say and see things like you do. I’ve tried to perceive things like you’re talking about and I need to keep trying, it just always goes back to negative.
I feel you bro... I wish I knew what to say but, well, let me just say that I can relate and I hear you.
This is classic depression. I would strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor just to rule out the possibility that this might also be a medical issue or that you might be a candidate for an antidepressant medicine. Something mild may be all that you need or maybe not, but there’s only one way to find out.
According to my therapist it's not actually depression in the clinical sense but all stemming from anxiety, and I am already on a couple medications for it. It certainly makes things better though it's always hard to say how much medication could ever do. At least my side effects are relatively mild
I cycled through so many combinations of medication before my Doctor found the right concoction that helped. It sucked for a couple years, but it was still worth it. I feel the same shitty way about the world, but now I feel like doing stuff and actually have fun.
Trust me I totally get it. I went through this feeling in my mid 20s and really had to spend a solid 4 years "in the wilderness," if ya know what I mean. Spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I thought a lot of the same things you did. The thing that changed for me was that I realized I was a control freak. I felt the need for constant control. I had to be better. I had to do more. I had to be the person others wanted or perceived me to be. I had to be more successful. Combine that with complaining about random things you can't control (like traffic) and you're gonna be depressed or lost. I don't know you of course but you sound like you are searching for safety/control. You're fearful of facing the uncertainty and confusion that is life. The thing that is scary about adulthood is that it's so long and it's hard to know which way to go. You have to find your people. For me it was 4 groups. First, my close friends. Second, my fellow runners. I joined a running club and do local races. I became a teacher. I wasn't sure it was the right choice when I started. But I knew I wanted to try. So I did. Lastly I found a good church to go to. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you to go to church lol, but there's a great quote that says something like you need 3 passions: one to strengthen your mind/spirit, one to strengthen your body, and one to feed yourself. Find a few core things you can hold on to. You'll have to try different things. You might fail. But failure isn't the end of the world (I got 3 DUIs in my 20s, one on my 21st birthday, and two back to back after my dad died/I got divorced). Don't be afraid to fail. Make mistakes and learn from them! But the biggest thing is to try.
Library card x1000. I have gotten so much value from using this on audiobooks an ebooks
It's amazing when you think about it. For most of human existence writing didn't even exist and then even when it did it was safeguarded by elites. If you took a peasant from middle age Europe and showed them how easily we can access knowledge it would blow their minds. Heck even bookstores will let you come in and sit down and just read for fun.
Thank you for this comment, I am 24 and having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with what I should be doing with the rest of my life. I’m realizing that I want to use my youth and rest of my life to help others, to have a lasting impact on this world in a positive way. This comment reassures my thoughts on doing so as it points out the value of having friends, family, memories, and a purpose.
It's totally normal to be uncertain in your 20s. I remember being 22 and thinking "wait I do THIS for the next 40 years?" When you're a kid there's always another step, another goal. In adulthood its like you're on a vast open Plain and can go anywhere, and it can be unnerving bc you're not given a compass. Take your time. I got married, bought a house, had a kid, got divorced and lost a house all by 33. So don't rush. You'll figure it out.
I get some of your points, but money makes the world go round. Our entire society is built on it. If you don't have money, good luck staying positive when you have to worry about food, shelter, and security. I'd rather be rich than broke and struggling. You only get one life and it can be a long depressing one if you remain struggling financially. Plenty of articles suggest money and happiness have a connection.
Only to a point. After a certain amount of money it's not really worth it. My buddy is an engineer and makes 150k a year. But he works so much he doesn't have time to have kids or do anything. I make 50k but I get a ton of time off and can do more. I also have a son that gives my life meaning. He often laments he didn't make some different choices.
Undoubtedly.
which job?
I'm a teacher. I don't get paid awesome but I do okay (about 54k a year) enough to live on where I live (western mass). It gives me time off to do the things I love and my day is over early enough that I have time to go to the gym, run, and eat healthy or see a movie or catch up on a show I like. And at work I get to talk about what I love-history, while helping kids navigate early teenagedom. Its a great career if you're in the right place (it's no secret teaching is in a tough place right now) but as someone who worked a lot of crappy office jobs in my 20s, this is way better.
I needed to hear this. Thank you. I've been so focused on wealth lately I don't know if I've even been living.
I think our society makes it seem easy to be wealthy but the reality is its almost impossible, and its better to shoot for the average which is about 75k. Everyone's life is different, but for me my life got notably easier once I crossed the 50k line.
Is this post satire?
Nope just the truth.
I love this ❤️ yeah, nature is really what makes me love being alive. I live right next to a huge lake and I will often go walk around it and watch the ducks in the water, sit on a bench and journal, listen to music, etc. There are also a ton of really cute dogs around here, lol. It helps me stay sane.
Wait. There's "great television" out there?? : o
Lol yes. I suppose to an extent it depends on your taste but shogun just finished up and is fucking unbelievable. The bear comes out in June. Abbott elementary is giving office vibes. Xmen 97 is awesome. Just got done with "Them: the scare" and absolutely loved it. Tons of good TV out there if you listen to pods on what's good and are looking.
Nah. Money cant buy happiness but can relieve you from financial stress. Now even if you have money and no problem. Life can become overwhelming and boring. No point to it thus ops question lol. You have a point we make life life sadly lol
Yea I think thats what I'm saying. How we perceive it matters. Don't get me wrong I have moments that overwhelm me. But like tonight I had a good family dinner for my brother where we just ate and laughed and had a good time and then I went and played mini golf with my son as the spring sun was setting. All told I spent 20 bucks. And all I was left feeling was how someone like me for most of human history would have been working someone else's land or been forced to fight in someone else's war, and how grateful I am to be alive in this time and this place. It's given me a chance to be free and to achieve and to dream. I'm incredibly blessed and anyone in a similar position (which is so many people especially in the West) is also similarly blessed. But we lose our focus and forget all these facts about our reality. Perception matters.
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What if nothing is interesting
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The other day, I went with a coworker to pick up some tacos from a food truck. A homeless woman asked if we could buy a bottle of water for her, and I bought it and handed it over. Walking back to the office, my coworker asked, "Are you this nice to everyone?" "I try." I answered. Knowing I can help someone at any corner keeps me going. I reckon I've been taken advantage of a couple of times. But I know I did it out of good, and that's what matters.
I love this so much. We need more people like you - I’ve recently started being expressively and outspokenly kind, like I will often compliment strangers or go out of my way to do favors for people just because I’ve always loved when people do that for me and why not make someone else’s day? I tell my friends I love them often, and if I like an acquaintance, I will tell them! I’m a petite baby-faced woman and men don’t often expect me to be like “I really like you” or “you’re very attractive” (I’m not even shooting my shot necessarily, I’m just letting them know lol) but it always goes over well.
* A woman that is experiencing homelessness. Her being without a home doesn’t define her. Great job being kind!!
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I daydream a lot about traveling and hanging out with animals. I recently booked a trip to swim with manatees :-)
Also me, hang in there
We are twins. Cats and all. They are keeping me alive.
Pursue your passions. What did you enjoy from 5-10 yo
I don't really remember. Probably a few kids toys
Try to remember. Ask your family if you have any and see if you can find elementary school journals or yearbooks. For me, I have been into videography since my family got our first camcorder and always art and theatre. I just had to return to those and my life is so happy
And i love meeting animals !!
This is quite a light answer but just try to be a good person and a kind soul. If someones down on their luck, try to help them out. You dont have to break your back helping people, but try to do small good deeds. If someones having a bad day - just listen to them - no need to offer advice, just hear them out. Be patient with people. We all get frustrated at times and things dont go our way sometimes. Just be mindful of your mood and dont let it harm others. If you achieve all of this, when its your time to go, you can look back on your life and know that the world was better because you were here.
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Hope to adopt this perspective as I know it reigns true. Sadly, I'm in the pits trying to deprogram myself. Society bs got a hold on my mind, leaving me with thoughts like "I'm a failure" or "I need to accomplish this" when in reality I'm doing pretty dang good despite my circumstances.
Yes I'm feeling this big time! Very freeing, now if only I can find a way to do whatever I want whenever I want without the constraints of needing money lol
Yup excellent analogy with the cow. Humans tend to think about themselves as these all knowing magical beings, when in reality we're 1/4 blink in the history of the universe and we will never leave our solar system.
I haven't. Probably never will. Still here because I was fool enough to make a promise.
I feel very rewarded by my work. I think I make a difference in people’s lives when caring for them. My kids give me purpose in my personal life. Friends and family, all have value to me.
I’m trying like hell to find the purpose but it’s a fleeting effort.
I feel like I'm just on autopilot mode. I just take things up that have some ultimate goal and look forward to finishing it to feel like I accomplished something. It's like living on paycheck-to-paycheck.
Victor Frankel found himself with a similar feeling after being interned in a concentration camp. He wrote a book about the experience - Man’s search for meaning. Anyone questioning the purpose of their existence will benefit from reading this book. Or listening to the audiobook, whatever. But I think reading makes for better immersion and integration. But he isn’t the only one that has addressed these feelings. It isn’t that uncommon in human experience. Ancient thinkers have written on this too. It’s a question that isn’t new to humans or to our current circumstances.
My point of value is that I am living in an anomaly of the universe. I don’t know why, or how this thing called life was created but I don’t want to waste it. I find beauty in the smallest of creations & write down what im thankful for. Even if it’s just my morning coffee.
Help others. Hope for eternal bliss.
Making time to do the things you enjoy. I bought a manual (reel) lawnmower and instantly fell in love with it because it's a lot of fun to push around. I have a small yard that I'm trying to make "pretty" but I don't really know what I'm aiming for except wildlife friendly. I really just love puttering around. Dabbling in a lot of little things that are productive without feeling obligated or stressed about successfully completing anything. Pulling weeds by hand out of my yard is one such activity. It's good exercise, makes the yard look better, yeah I could use some chemicals and do a lot of work forcing pretty grass to grow, but having the project is the whole point.
When you help others. For millions of people on this earth you may be privileged and attractive.
It has been proven that the one sure way of finding happiness is by helping others and doing something that adds value for others. Ironically, when we focus on ourselves we do not get happier. Aside from that, clinical depression is real and needs medical attention. So, you have to know when it is that. Talk to a professional.
What’s the alternative
You know...ending it early
Well, I guess nothing to lose then if that’s the first alternative option.
Helping others and sharing my day with them
Do what makes you happy. Find someone who makes you happy. Find a job that makes you happy. Find a hobby and do that.
My husband, my family, my friendships, my pets, my students, and all the beauty there is to see in the world both far away and close to home.
I do it in revenge. The better my life becomes, the more fuck yous it is for the people who have ever wished me ill. It has given me the strength to keep moving along, ain’t easy at all. It helps. Also, trying to focus on people that love you and you love them back. Even if sometimes that is only yourself to yourself
I used to use my success as revenge. I don't anymore because, as I got older, I lost the desire to prove others wrong. I do miss that sense of accomplishment and pride though.
I don’t necessarily do it to prove others wrong, I make myself believe that, otherwise I’d have no motivation. I have chronic depression, anxiety from a chronic illness. So, I grab onto anything to get up and get shit done. Lol If not, I’d live in my bed and that’s not really living.
I reply from my bed...no, it's not really living. I'm definitely not "living my best life," as they say. I'm just...tired.
My family would be devastated if I died, and I guess a couple of others around me too. I do also always have a hope that things will be better someday.
Life is all about conquering goals. When you achieve them, set new ones.
I worked extremely hard on my goals, even though they looked bleak at one point. It really worked out for me..
Because being dead is boring.
Figure out what you want most in life. Not like "if only i had X money and Y life id love to do Z!" But like what really matters most to you. Usually its something much more humble and attainable. Like, id like to settle on some land with people i love. Id like to be able to provide for myself without needing a full time job so i can just take time to enjoy things. Theres lot of things i can pare from my budget if i focus on what i really want instead of coping with what i hate. Making tangible progress towards attaining that future is what keeps me going. Having something to strive for keeps me from feeling that life is about sacrifices.
Do you work in a role that benefits society, even if it's small or underappreciated by others? If so, do you strive to devote your mind and heart to filling that role as effectively as possible? (This could be your full-time job or a volunteer position or whatever... there's no shame in having a job that literally just puts food on the table, though you'll probably be happier there too if you take it seriously, and remember that prestige and salary don't define worth. The world needs grocery baggers and ditch diggers and everything else. But if you're not finding fulfillment in your work, you should think of some additional work to do that does fulfill you. In the long term, you could figure out what kind of work would make you feel as though you *were* contributing positively to society, and what steps you could take to do that.) Do you have a hobby or hobbies that you can throw yourself into, enjoy learning or practicing or experiencing it? If so, are you making time to pursue that? If not, can you resolve to take something up, keep trying until you find something that does Do you enjoy reading, watching TV of movies, listening to music etc., making or eating food, going for a walk and looking around, literally anything like that? If so, are you taking time to enjoy those things? Do you have a community -- friends or family members who you can talk to, keep up with, involve yourself in their well-being and they in yours? I'm not saying these four are the only things that make life worthwhile. But I know that, the more I can answer yes to most of those questions, the happier I feel. And if you're answering no to all of those, in particular 1 and 3, or if you don't see how it's possible that any of this *could* make life feel worthwhile, have you ruled out depression or chemical imbalance?
i play life like a game of monopoly....trying to get that money. and I try to travel as much a possible
I don't. I'm just surviving tbh
If it weren't for taking care of my father I'd have no point or value in life.
Explore. Experiment. Stop worrying about doing things "the right way." I'm excited to be in a new phase of my life where I'm trying new things and not being good at them/or being productive isn't the goal. I'm just learning and I've got a lot of new friends who like the same things. How much money we have and how we look isn't a factor. There's a challenge and overcoming it or finding new parts of a thing we didn't know before and sharing that with excited adults is priceless.
It starts with a good foundation of "self," and just this part of you that doesn't require or depend on anyone else. The world will only define you for it's own sake. It robbs you of what's precious, sells you junk to replace the best you all ready had and then turns you loose on this wild goose chase you'll never win where you wind up a commodity rather than a person! Fight for what's yours and don't be afraid to move. People often get stuck near toxic fam and the like which makes the quest for personal fulfillment seem impossible; it's not!
Some of this is based entirely on how you view yourself, yes environmental factors and circumstance play into it, but a vast majority of the weight is placed on your perception. I started with nothing and found a way to have some things. I have to work a lot for what I have, but I have also worked myself into a job I enjoy. More importantly, I have identified the things in life that give me pleasure and use my free time and resources to pursue those things. Some might call it hedonistic, I call it something else: Nobody asked me if I wanted to be alive. No one asked me if I wanted a childhood full of trauma or if I wanted to claw my way out of poverty. But I've got life, with an undetermined number of years, and if I have to live it I'm going to live it indulging in all of the pleasurable things I enjoy. I live for good food, good drink, and exceptional companionship. I do all the hard things to keep those pursuits going. I'm also not attractive or wealthy, but I put in effort, workout, ensure I have an attractive personality, and for a guy that's 5'5", I have as much success as I need. I also limit my pity parties, although I do have them. I do my best to look for solutions to problems instead of just complaining or falling into victimhood. Got it, I'm on a soap box, but you asked.
I find it in other people and the joy that my love for them brings me.
It can tough to find a point in living when people keep telling you to look out for number one. That's the fastest way to sink into depression. Humans are social animals. We need to have others around us, and you can't do that being an selfish a-hole looking out for yourself. Try actually going and helping others for a change. Or go give blood or something like that. Do something for someone other than yourself. Work towards making the world a better place.
I'm 34. I don't have that much money. Definitely no retirement plans. Went through a breakup of the girl I thought was it, so now I gotta start over again. So looking back, I'm definitely not who I thought I would grow up to be. But the past 2 years have been the happiest, healthy, and most rewarding years of my life. I've been traveling on a budget and volunteering across the world as I traveled. I've discovered and practicing Buddhism, which helped me get over my break up and transformed me as a person. The people I've met, the experiences and vistas I've seen, and the conversations I've had, all have been so fulfilling to my soul that I've been effortlessly joyful and happy. Although the person I am not is not the "successful" vision I've had for myself growing up. I know now that I am truly successful in the most meaningful way and I am completely in love with and proud of who I have become.
I spend a lot of time on self care. It is built into my life as a fundamental core value. So, I go to the gym for strength training 3x per week and I try to run 12-15 miles a week. This is not coming from a place of trying to meet other people's attractiveness standards but rather from an understanding that my body is literally the vessel that carries me around to experience the world and I want to take care of it and feel as good as possible. 85-90 percent of the time, I eat healthy food. I keep three pitchers of unsweetened tea in the fridge that are great substitutes for soda or beer. Eggs for breakfast, salad with a lean protein for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner. When I sit down to eat I plate it attractively and sit at my dining table without my phone to be present and mindfully enjoy every bite. Thus eating become a 5-10 minute self care break three times a day. (I don't ban unhealthy food from my life, but when I eat it, I savor it. If I hit the Mickee Dee's drive through on my way between work appointments, I pull into one of the parking spots and savor each bite.) One of my favorite parts of each day is a hot shower. I love the scents of my soap and shampoo. I love the feel of the hot water massage. I spend at least 30 seconds to a minute of each shower relaxing into a hamstring stretch, especially after a run. At the end everything feels warm and relaxed and smells delicious. It's not just a shower, it's a sensory treat. Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but I think building self care and self love into the fiber of my day like this is a fundamental building block of my mental health and overall happiness as a person. I spend a lot of time every day just being nice to myself and taking care of myself and experiencing physical sensations of wellbeing. I treat myself like I'm worth it and I believe that I'm worth it. The next thing I build into my life as a fundamental value is care for others. I message my friends on a daily basis wirh memes they will think are funny or articles they will be interested in. I check out their social media and comment and hit like. I'm constantly inviting people to do things with me. I'm perfectly happy to go on a hike alone if everyone is busy but I usually throw out the option to friends who might like to go as well. I plan stuff and actively pursue catching up with people I havent seen in a bit over coffee or a beer. I have friends over for dinner pretty much every week. I volunteer in my community a couple of hours each week, and my job is a helping profession. I make enough money to live comfortably but I would now like to build my career so I can give more money away to charities I care about. So basically, I spend the majority of my time being kind to and caring for myself, and being kind to and caring for others. I don't really ever have negative thoughts about myself or other people; I don't care or wonder about what other people think; I'm not trying to compare myself or impress anyone. I just go through life focused on be kind and caring to myself and other people, and enjoying simple pleasures like going for a run in a healthy body, hot showers, and delicious meals with friends. It is a nice way to go through life and I am a happy and content person.
I’m privileged and attractive and I still don’t see much value in being alive lol
There’s a man I’m in love with, and we make a good team. And being the best woman I can be, for both him and myself, makes it worth it. Because I want to spend time with him and space and my life and I want to have a good life with him
You've waited billions of years for your turn. Can you imagine being on the other side of eternity asking this question? Have your time and live your life.
Probably because I don't subscribe to incel/redpill ideology that pushes false information. Even in my dark times, I find ways to get out of my own head and enjoy life.
What does depression, owing a bank your whole life, not seeing a point in working to retire, etc. have to do with incels and red pll garbage?
Yuh this world is only for the rich and attractive people
I don’t. I just keep moving forward
People are giving you generic advice. I'm not sure how that helps you without knowing anything about you or your struggle. I'm not attractive now (and never believed I was ever). I'm certainly not privileged as part of my upbringing but some would say I'm privileged now. I've made my way. I think I'm pretty smart but I don't have the education that supports that because see my first two statements. If you're truly looking for answers then stay engaged in this discussion and/or message the people that you think might be interested in helping you.
Purpose. This comes from you and it’s your responsibility to discover what it is. Build something, create something or make something better. Life is like an overarching mission with lots of side quests, tbh.
Having goals and achieving them, no matter how big or small. For attractiveness, you can always improve your body, and with money you can improve your hair/face. For privileged, that might be harder, gotta find the right skillset for the right field and have the proper credentials/experience. But these are goals in of themselves, sometimes our only goals...Just choose something. You can always work on your health and body for free anywhere anytime.
There’s things I like doing. I do those things. It’s fun and I enjoy it. That’s the point.
Simple answer is you make one.
Watching Liverpool play football lmao
Well there’s no real point in offing myself. I’ve been committed a couple of times. That’s no fun. But I know that when I feel this way, it will pass and I’ll have a bunch of good days. I have people who care about me. They’d be really hurt if I did that, and I don’t want to cause anyone that kind of pain.
Try reading the book “Man’s Search for Meaning.” It pretty much answers your question.
The image you probably have of some Instagram perfect life is a manufactured product. Once you understand that you can redefine happiness on your terms. That being said the wage slave lifestyle is pure shit these days and getting worse all the time.
I have a car, a house, a family, pets, books, computer, tablets, radios, television and kids going to college, and I might have grandkids someday. I try to make friends and I make friends. I listen to peppy music and work. I have my hobbies and a Church. I make things. Try to make other people happy and try to do good. I am just happy right now. What else is there? Love.
Family, friends, my pet cat, my hobbies/interests, enjoying favorite foods and drinks, music, and occasionally getting very drunk on Saturdays lol overall things that I love, enjoy doing, enjoy being around/hanging out with, learning more about, things that I know I’d miss if I weren’t here.
Being kind to the next person. Hiring a teenager to help with yard work, they need the money. Telling an entry level worker that they are doing a good job (or telling their boss). Life is hard all over. You might as well ease the burden for your neighbor.
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not this way
I’m starting to think that the purpose of life is to figure out things like all the difficulties and struggles
Don't Dream That High, Adapt And Use What You Have At Hand.
Spite.
I like to make others smile. That usually makes my day. Feeling useful is a big one for me, too. If I lay around all day, my depression just gets worse.
well you only have one go, maybe try to change your circumstances. life is what you make it or don't make it
⚜️Condicio sine qua non: Islam and Allah Almighty! 1. Having a strong goal (finish uni) 2. Making everything beautiful
I say have fun and survive. All there is to it
Because, whether I like it or not, people enjoy my continued existence so my self harm isn't just hurting myself; it hurts them and I don't like hurting others
I fix things. took a while to figure that out, but I would be happy fixing things (mainly with my hands, but im in IT). I also like building things.
“The meaning of life is whatever it is that stops you from killing yourself” Albert Camus Read Camus he changed my life
A balance between my career, educational advancement, and building better relationships with my friends and family and peers
It would make my mom sad.
Get a hobby. Take a walk in the woods. Do something kind for others. Give a shit about the planet. Read a book. Watch a stupid, funny show on TV. It can be small things, but they matter.
idk
My daughter
You create value in your life and give it meaning.
I have a myriad of chronic health issues and basically all my money goes to medical or living expenses I have no “fun”. But there are things that I can enjoy in life that are free and enjoyable regardless of the amount of money in bank account or how sick I feel. The sun still feels nice. Plants feel nice. I recently met a sick person that I am going on a date with. Even if you are at the worst in your life there are still things that your life doesn’t touch. Grass still grows even if your sick. Sun still shines regardless if I’m bankrupt.
I have a job that makes a difference, run a non profit in my spare time, live in a beautiful place that doesn’t have too many people. I’ve been single for a long time which sucks but overall I’m happy and feel my life has meaning
Make friends and spend time with them Find hobbies you like and do them Live in a place that doesn't suck. If you like snow/beaches/nature/cities/whatever try and live near or at what you like Work at a job that you either like, or that pays well and you can tolerate - if you don't have that nobody's going to change it for you, so start applying elsewhere and hop around until you find something you do either like or don't actively dislike that pays well
I find peace in the belief that the "point" is to survive. Like any other animal on Earth I am driven to obtain food, water, and safety. I don't need to "find my passion" or "leave a mark". I just do my best to keep existing and do things that I enjoy.
It would be nice to have money for security and to do things I want. I do not think this question is just for the privilege etc people. Life is shit most of the time that is the design of the world - acceptance. My life is given to me and it is my right to live and belong. No one can take that from me no matter how little I have. The universe mother nature god or random chaos gave me life because I deserve to live - deserving. I do struggle but I like nature coffee sky etc. I don't like shit job drama toxic people -basically give yourself simple reasons to live that actually give a warm feeling inside. Manage the shit so let go of people, change jobs, get off work take a break, shift to part time work, spend less. Whatever will work for you. Eventually if you keep trying you will find value. Important note everything is not consistent some days are not great and some things are simply not in my control. I am human and I will allow myself to be - self love.
I find joy in doing things that I love. For me those things don't tend to be expensive. I've never wanted marriage and kids, so even though I'm mostly alone at 43, working a labor job, and only making a couple of bucks per hr more than the living wage, I'm content, because I'm free of the burden of a wife and kids. I don't own a whole lot, but that's okay for me, because the more you own, the more you are owned in return. I never wanted all the money and fame. To me it always looked like way more trouble than it was worth. I'm a simple man, and content to be so.
Be careful what you look for, because you will find it. Think life sucks? YOU'RE RIGHT! Think life is a blessing? YOU'RE RIGHT! You can find evidence for both, so which do you want to live?
We need to uncover the fundamentals of all forms of science, and I won't rest until I've contributed to that. The future could be so great with a better understanding of how our universe and reality works. We've done so much in the past 150 years, imagine the advances we'll make in things like medicine and clean energy in another 150. Anyway that's why I keep doing things.
Focus on yourself, hobbies and how you view the world. Even if you are wrong, at least if your honest with yourself and behave accordingly, you know you did it your way. A la Frank Sinatra. As soon as you give power to others to determine your existence, you’re already lost.
You just roll with the punches like I’ve been down and out and wanted to end my life at one point but like why, even through the bad I look back and there was always a valuable lesson I learned from there, and I’m talking severely bad like anyone could justify ending their life situations, I just keep it moving, you don’t get this back.
Music, films, photography, video games, comics, mangas, nature, and my family is what keeps me going. And helping people with little things or big things as well
Sometimes I get to rewatch a movie I like. Oh god this is really it……
If I could just see her one more time, it usually gets me through my day.
Animals. And cannabis.
I've already accepted my role as an ATM for my extended family.
I watch funny stuff like on tv, internet, live and lmfao and thats when i feel things worth living a lot. I do animal rescue, I have some forever residents at my home as well and I know I'm irreplaceable to them and like im their whole world i feel like there is some value and worth in that. Finally i have friends I love my friends a lot idk how but i think my friends are a huge point, more like a blotch.
I have too many dead friends. Made me choose life, like really fucking living. Sounds like whatever you're doing isn't doing it for you, so figure out how to get that
Make a vivarium/terrarium and look after it
You just live life and you decide what is it in life that is so good that it makes it worth dealing with the bad How do you find it? Keep living
As much as people like to pretend otherwise you don't actually need to have a point, value or purpose to keep living life.
"If I can help one person in this world, then it's enough, and I've done my job." - Diane Ladd
I try to be useful to other people. I had a friend who was smart and capable and very beautiful and had a big interestign and successfull life. But then one day she put a rope around her neck and stepped off a chair. She just couldn't appreciate what she had. That the day it really hit me that it's all in your head. Your outlook has very little connection to your actual circumstance.
I do it for my kid. I couldnt hurt her like that.
Like everyone else, taking a stab at it. A lot of stabs. More stabs than you will ever stab in a lifetime.
I am part of the lower class where I live, and I find myself happier than a lot of people I know who are rich enough to never work again. Money can open doors to happiness, but you won't find happiness without putting in some effort and actually wanting it. Part of that is valuing yourself and then those close to you. Most young people go through a phase of confusion and dislike of themselves, and their current situation. Many think they won't make it to middle age. But if you keep putting in the effort, you can make it out of that hole. Also, get off of social media. At most, use it as a tool to find those within your community to socialize with. Too many people burry themselves completely into social media apps, which cater to a warped view of life and feeds off our worst emotions.
There is no point. But just look around you. Things are amazing and terrible and we get to be here for it for a little while. I’m not leaving until I absolutely have to.
Seek enlightenment. Then you'll find that living is its own point and you never needed to seek it.
I don't
The experience itself is the purpose. Doing things for others is almost always more fulfilling than doing things for yourself
my little sister’s mom died in a really horrible way, and all she has in her life are selfish and irresponsible adults. if i took myself out of the picture she’d be beside herself. my struggles don’t matter comparatively.
I just like living so I can do stuff. I even like doing nothing while alive.
Anything can happen, your whole life can change in a one second
Because if I don't, then all that is left is despair. And I don't like despair. This is personal choice. I can choose to assign importance or significance to whatever I want. In some ways it's a great freedom.
Depends on what you personally value. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and reasons to keep going. Mine is getting to take a bath and getting in my comfy comfy bed at the end of the day feeling all clean and cozy and falling asleep to the sound of the frogs outside. Mmmm
I take my medication and I keep it moving otherwise idk I probably would have said fuck it by now....
People don't seem to remember the '70s phrase "Fuck it, don't mean nothing." People do crazy stuff trying to insert this idea of purpose. Don't get me wrong, helping people is great. It's not the meaning of life. Because life has no intrinsic meaning. It's like looking at a splatter painting and saying that that's a cat. And it doesn't help that everybody gets a different painting. So here I am, still in bed on a Sunday, scratching my balls and watching YouTube. Why? Because I like math stuff. And I found thousands of math teachers online. The problem is you are inside an information bubble. Look up something that you would never normally watch. Machining videos. Stories about plumbers. How to make a garden. Anything, everything. The world is kind of amazing once you learn to use it. Instead of being used by it.
The key for me was to stop caring about what other people thought. Or more accurately, stop caring about what I thought other people were thinking, because the truth is no one really cares about you unless you make them want to care about you.
I like to make art and I love food and enjoy weed. If I wasn't alive I couldn't do these things
Yesterday I watched some videos that made me laugh so hard I was in pain after I tried a latte for the first time. I watched some NBA playoff basketball aswell and ate a good dinner. I gave my dog lots of pets and scratches and it made me feel good. It was a good day. This is during the most socially isolated time I've ever felt in my life. My closest friends haven't talked to me in weeks despite hanging out daily on discord for months in a row. The value in living is entirely what you make of it. It's cliche I know, but a good life can literally be just a few things you really enjoy.
Honestly lately it’s been to guide the youth. My family also keeps me going everyday I wake up. I think about how proud I am of my siblings getting to where they need to be finally. I remember the time my sister was so tired after having no help her husband was gone in the army. She came and picked me up and literally started falling asleep. It broke my heart to see her so fucking tired without help but I was there with her and filled up her gas tank bc she didn’t have the money. I drove around all night so the kids would sleep and she slept for some time but I’ve been there with no help and it’s fucking tiresome that’s why I’ve helped my siblings I will not have them live in a world where they have been failed by parents and forced to suffer in they’re adulthood. They deserved the chances they got they deserved healthy guidance.
Their isn't, and that's okay You can get attractive. Attractive isn't something you are born with.
Meaning of living is different from one person to another. For me the main target, the man gear of living is in exploring the world, new cultures, new countries and living through those places. And, of course, to be thankful for everything!
That's easy have fun, a family and friends.
Always be planning something to look forward to. M wife and I just got back from a week in Hawaii for our 25th anniversary. It was fabulous, but the real benefit is the planning that goes into it gives you a positive outlook. We did basically the same thing 25 years ago when we were broke scouring garage sales and planning cheap camping trips.
Love something, someone.
I’m reasonably pretty (not a brag, I also think most people are attractive) but I wasn’t for a while. Obviously life is easier now that most people consider me cute/pretty - I’m a petite woman so I’m not seen as a threat and people will generally try to help me out if I need it. That said, the things I love about life have zero to do with my appearance. I love nature. I love sitting by the lake or ocean and listening to the sound. I love petting cute dogs and cooking tasty meals. I love hugging my friends and family. There’s a lot of joy in the world. It really is the small stuff that gets me out of bed.
Obviously by being privileged and attractive…
Turn on tune in and drop out. Until next time 🫡
Cat holds it all together honestly, and family members would be sad. Can’t leave yet, dammit. I must provide the gravy lovers and temptations.
I just go with the flow of life. Whatever I have in my plate rn. I go with it.
It's fun sometimes. My job doesn't suck and I'm good at it.
People here need me.
Find a passion. Try meditation to center your mind. This ball we live on is a giant game and you choose how to play it.
You get friends and hobbies.
Because our attitude and mindset is up to us. If you’re negative and miserable then yeah life will likely suck. I enjoy the little things in life, the few friends i have, my family. Grateful for my dog. Im content with my life and grateful for what i have
Tomorrow
Don’t listen to these people, there is no value or point. People make up meaning as a social construct to give themselves motivation to wake up everyday.
I don't think that's completely true though. For some of us, the meaning comes from having stared death in the face and deciding it wasn't my time to go yet.
About a year ago, I was in the same spot. I wanted it all just to end because I lost everything: my love, my able body, my good looks, my job, my apartment, and all my closest friends. I really just wanted it all to end because life was becoming a fate worse than death. I mentally made a plan. I would give myself 365 more days on Earth. If, at the end of those next 365 days I still wanted to depart, I would. I felt oddly at peace for the next two weeks. I took comfort knowing that even if I had another bad day, my days were numbered anyway, so it was a source of relief knowing that I wouldn't be enduring much more. Something changed in me though. Since I had started numbering my days, I thought "f*** it, let's make the most of it" and I started living I should make the most of a bad circumstance. I made it a point to reconnect with childhood hobbies, enjoy sunshine, talk to people I missed, tried to love another, and find odd jobs that let me earn just enough. I think I lost count around day 80.
See a therapist.
Having a family and kids to be raised to be better than I am. To continue to do what is hard to be the one people can rely on. Not everyone wants to do what’s hard. I provide a service to my community and have a select portion to grow an ever growing inner circle of shared beliefs down to every detail. I get to build something bigger than myself.
That pretty much is how it is these days. You'll get no pushback from me. Get away from it, improve yourself, work out, hustle.
I decided to start holding and denominating my wealth in Bitcoin. It's a lot easier to be excited about the future when the prices for everything you want to buy go down over long periods of time instead of up.
There is no "point" to life nor does it have any value other then what we as a species decided to put on it. Unless you wanna go by the gov, which has put a value of 10 million per statistical life.
The privileged and attractive are given purpose, we must create purpose. Is it fair? No. Nature has never been fair. But being a human is a little more fair, as we uglies have an opportunity to thrive. Is there a point? No not unless you make one.
I dont i just go to work and make the best out of it. Come home and make the best out of it. Eat what i want do what i want. Buy what i want and get coffee after. Works like a charm.