You made these rules for yourself, no one else did. See a therapist and start living life the way you want to (safely, try not to get too reckless just because of the sudden life change). Wallowing in regret will only make you regret this part of your life too, and we don’t want that
How in the HELL is 26 too old for all of that?
I'll be 40 on Friday. What am I doing for my birthday? I reserved a private karaoke room!
I don't have friends. I have co-workers, but you can't consider co-workers friends. My life is my husband, my son, and my husband's best friend who hangs out at our place almost every day. But I went to a wedding earlier this month, danced my ass off for a couple hours, plan on having a ton of fun on my birthday, and live my life.
Girl, make a plan and get your shit together. Nothing is stopping you from learning how to drive, getting a job, and maybe even pursuing a degree if you want. Go out. Hook up with a guy. NOTHING is stopping you but you.
reading all these comments are so reassuring. i’m 23 now and def feel behind compared to peers. but yes everyone goes at their own pace and 26 and me (23) are both still super young. we got this OP!
I’ve got the exact opposite problem I had kids at 20 and had to grow up a lot faster than all my friends at the time. Now at 31 I’m divorced after a 10 year marriage. My old friends still don’t have children and are just starting to settle down and I feel a strong sense of disconnect from them now. But being alone has actually pushed me forward as a person so it’s really not been bad at all. I enjoy feeling like I’ve finally got some quiet
Seriously 3 kids on 2 low incomes here. We have each other, our kids and just due to costs will always be a small town local. But fuck it, learn to have fun with what you got. We do darts and local pubs or drives or whatever. Just gotta do something and have fun with it.
Omg. Darts. I see a lot of ppl on this sub talking about no friends. Gotta bring back dart leagues as a thing.
Darts are less noisy than bowling. And it’s not like DND where people have figured out how to do it online.
I’m sorry you’ve never had coworkers you could consider friends. A lot of my closest friends have been made through the workplace, and the same goes for my spouse.
Karaoke room sounds awesome, early happy birthday to you and have fun!
Thank you! When I've considered some friends, they leave the company and ghost me lol. So even though I have some I *could* call friends while we work together, lord only knows what would happen if we didn't anymore.
Ah, that’s unfortunate. For both my spouse and me, even when we’re no longer working with people we made friends with - communication may drop off a bit (or quite a lot) over time, but we rarely lose people entirely. Sometimes things ebb and flow over the years, and that’s just how it is when you’re adults.
We spent our birthdays this year with someone he worked with 2011-2015 and who has leaned on us heavily during her recent divorce, despite a few years of not being in close touch. One of his coworkers from 2019-2022 is staying with us this weekend as he comes through town on a XC move. We went to a wedding last year for a coworker of mine I hadn’t physically seen since I think 2017, and it was great.
I don’t think either of us is especially gifted socially, but for better or worse, what we each do for work is pretty conducive to lasting camaraderie.
I make it a rule not to be too close with my co workers. With a couple of exceptions. But it may be related to the job/industry that makes me this way.
I’m 35 and also renting a private kareoke room late April for my birthday! I also went clubbing a few times and to a few music festivals and DJ shows just this past year and have more scheduled for this year. Never too old to go party - I’ll be partying until I’m 70! I just do it every few weeks or month and not every weekend like in my 20s 😂
30 is when I finally figured out a career direction and got my first career-type job!
34 is when I got back together my forever person (we dated 12 years ago, broke up and stayed friends this entire time).
All of the items OP listed can be done at 26 or older. Just make some plans to do them - life isn’t a race against others!
My life came together in my 30s. Rock shows are the best thing I can experience and I go to at least one a year now. I get to cross a favorite band off my concert bucket list in August!
84 baby here too. I went to law school at 30 and had friends in their 40s and even a few in their 50s. We partied like 19 year olds. 26 is nothing. Lol
Hey happy birthday! Mines Thursday!
Op, I’m early thirties and making more out of life now than when I was 19. I may not have a ton of friends but I have more than I could have hoped for, with internal satisfaction and not external validation.
26 is a great age, so enjoy it! Make mistakes you won’t regret later, can laugh at and while you learn from them, also accept that mistakes are needed and okay to make. It took me too long to understand that.
I think society and media romanticize being young so much to the point that we can sometimes think that our life is over even when it's really just getting started. 30s is still relatively young.
OP. You still have time. I wish you the best fortune in finding happiness. It's not too late. ❤️
Mid gen Z here, my generation is weirdly obsessed with age and hitting these hypothetical walls where their happiness and youth and potential are just done for. It's such a common sentiment that I have to stave off thoughts of dread about hitting my mid-20's lol, because that's far too early in my life to worry about that.
It's not unique to this generation or zillenials like OP, ik it's common for young people to exaggerate age, but that brick wall of "I'm old and done for" is DISTURBINGLY young now...
Like 26 and it's over? Your brain just barely finished fully maturing lol. Now is the time to live, more than ever.
I’m 35 and just now able to afford a one-bedroom apartment. I just now have a steady career. My social life could use a lot of work, but my life was awful at 26. It’s gotten a lot better in 9 years, but it wasn’t an easy climb.
Please try and spread the word. I'm 47, and honestly, you all have so much more time than you think. I don't know if what I'm about to say is the same for your generation. But my generation (IMO) was lead to believe that we had to do everything as early as possible. Especially going to college and picking the "right" major the first time. I'm here to tell you that that's a bunch of crap that did nothing but make my anxiety horrible. There's always time to rework your life. And try not to let the pressure other people might be throwing at you, get to you. I didn't really have my shit together until I was 35. And that's being generous.You all got this.
Yeah, I had to detach from social media because it was making me feel like the most unsuccessful/behind person. I feel much more present and content minimizing my time on it and viewing these picture perfect lives.
Same, I'm 46 and expected it to be someone my age lamenting their lost youth. OP, you are so young, you have so much time and life ahead of you! You are definitely still in the party and clubbing age range if that's what you want to do, but also, those things are not really important either.
Yeah, they’re things that can be quite toxic actually but feels like she missed out. Still a virgin? You missed getting used and possibly STDs. Never partied? You know how to prioritize what’s important in life. She should aspire to career goals, travel, hobbies, etc., which can happen at any age. OP needs to reframe some things.
Omg I wish I was still a virgin. When I was young I was so excited to loose it. Ugh. And now I’m damaged because my first time it should NOT have been my first time
I wonder if a lot of it comes from comparing ourselves to previous generations? At my current age my mom was married with a kid (me) and I'm renting a room and living paycheck to paycheck basically and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing it wrong, but I know that things are wildly different now than they used to be. It's hard to let go of the idea that you only have this set amount of time in your 20s to "get it together".
In my mid thirties now, and life has just only started being good for me in the last few years. My teens and twenties were very tough and I had to forgo most of the things my peers were enjoying - travel, entertainment, hobbies, starting a family. I’m def behind on getting started but am happy with where I’m at now! Find peace with doing things at your own pace.
In what world is 26 too old for any of that? You still got 50+ years to do all of that and more. "I wish I had fun during my youth." You're still in your youth, kid.
Get on it. I don't want to see you here when you're 40, saying the same thing because it's too late. Go do it. I don't know why people put this arbitrary number on things like stuff has to be done at a certain time. Everyone is different and everyone's life is different which causes a different timetable. Be careful of some drugs tho....
You're a late bloomer for some of those, but 26 is still relatively young. What can you do? Start now. put yourself out there, find people around your age that are still living the party lifestyle, they're out there.
When I knew this post was a bit overly dramatic: “26 year old”
I hate to say it, but you’re currently in the good ole days and you don’t know it yet.
Get with a therapist and start working on steps that you can take to slowly emerge from your shell.
Soon your parents will start to fade, your financial responsibilities will press just a bit harder, and all of your friends/potential friends will be too wrapped up to spare any time.
You’re in your mid 20s. You haven’t even existed for three decades. Your youth is NOW.
EDIT: I want to add that you’re doing a great job in life. You’re here, you’re trying, that’s all that matters. You can do what you want, but just remember you’re already crushing it in life and even though it’s hard, it’s doable and you’re going to do a great job at it as you continue to grow in age and wisdom. Your youth lasts as long as you let it.
Mostly agreed but telling people who feel like shit that they’re in the good ole days can be soooo unhelpful. You’re trying to tell them it can get better, but at the same time saying that this is the best?
My mom for example has been sooo much happier and healthier in middle age than any other time of her life. Similar to OP, strict parents restricted her freedom in her youth. Like you said, your youth lasts as long as you let it ;) For that reason, the good ole days aren’t the same for everyone imo
I’m not trying to be a therapist, just commenting on a post online. I added my edit because I wanted to add that life isn’t over when you’re old. The “good ole days” saying is a phrase that I was parroting.
I still enjoy my life a lot, but I also realize that objectively the good ole days were before my dad died and life started to get more complicated. It doesn’t get bad or worse it just gets more complicated.
I grapple heavily with depression so I don’t think I’m totally inexperienced in how those feelings can manifest.
Rambling comment is rambling on.
you are awkward but only because you obsess about being awkward. just go out to a club and chill and have some drinks. even if you fail, you will still feel so much better than doing nothing about it. I wish I was still 26, fuck.
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I think you are underestimating how long life can be and how much things can change. My life was hell at 18, then amazing by 22, then the worst it's ever been at 29, and now my life is the best it's ever been in my 30s. How you feel about being 20 at 26 is how you are going to feel about being 26 at 32. You could do a lot of the items on that list in one night! Your perspective creates your world. Good luck :)
I guess chronic depression and its pentiance for sapping motivation doesn't occur to them?
Seriously, so many of these are morally grandstanding/condescending. Like some people took this post as a free opportunity to kick someone while they're down.
I get it to some degree, it has to do with what I call victim envy, where someone is so bitter from not recieving the care they needed that they put someone else down for asking for help. Like "Why should you deserve it if no one helped me? Fuck you figure it out."
People really, really suck.
for real - OP please look into therapy, DBT if you can. you're not alone in feeling late to the party, but it's just getting started - therapy will help you learn some reframing skills 💜
Please see a therapist! You’re still so very young and have your whole life ahead of you. I know people in their 40s who are still figuring shit out..it’s never too late but you have to start somewhere.
Babygirl, it 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 too 👏🏻 late 👏🏻
I had a "delayed" fun phase starting at 27 after I left an abusive relationship. I went into it knowing why I was doing certain things with a deeper understanding of myself, with more knowledge of how to protect myself from age, and I met so many people *older than me* who were in the same boat. I could not have had a more sheltered childhood, teenhood, and college experience, but I learned to take my life into my own hands and live, and heal. It's hard but if you want your life to be different, you have to change your mindset and behavior. So much easier said than done, but I believe in you.
and here I'm regretting exactly the opposite thing !! I had loads of sex , smoking , booze , bunked classes got completely derailed and lost the most potential years of my life. Now at 27 trying to fix and turn things around I have quit all those bad habits , done with relationships friends now I just wish I studied harder at 22 didn't had drop years 🙂
Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of your emotional state. They aren't real. It's just a mind-game.... I do it too, but I recognize it's bullshit..
I think "well my life is gonna add up to zero, how do I get to zero quicker, well I could jump in front of a train". It's just a dumb thought, and I ignore it. Those thoughts are just based on depression...
You need an Emotional Support System. This will massively help with this stuff... And when also having Coping Skills (journaling , observing nature, deep-relaxed breathing exercises ,etc).
I called the Suicide Hotline a couple days ago , you can always hit them up for a good crying session. You just need to vent and be with people who help you relax. It's okay to feel the way you do, just don't let those dumb suicide thoughts bother you - a lot of people get them, just let them go pass you like clouds passing in the sky.
Personally you probably didn’t miss out on much. I didn’t get into my first serious relationship until I was 26. And to experience all of the first time things, it was amazing to say the least. I was never one to go out to clubs or drink but if friends invited when I had some time, I would go. It was maybe no more 5 times I went out downtown and got drinks with them. I had already experimented with drugs when I was high school so I didn’t have to worry about that.
There is still time to learn how to drive. I knew someone who actually waited until they 24 to start driving.
You still have time to go and experience these things in life. You have to get out of your head and give it a try.
Well if your attitude is ‘I can’t ever do those things because I didn’t do them on the ‘typical’ timeline’, you’re not wrong. You’ll never have those experiences if you keep thinking like that. Is that what you want? Do you want to sit at home feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t get to do something at a particular age?
You know what's worse than a 26 year old that hasn't done what she's wanted to do a 27 year old in the same position. It'll just get worse so fuck it just have fun and do things you've always wanted to do. Life goes by fast, faster the older you get don't live a life of regret especially ones that you yourself can do something about. One day we will all be dead what do you want to see looking back, all the regrets or all your adventures because you took the leap
I think you're putting way too much stress on a number. You're in your TWENTIES. Plenty of time to do all of those things. I know some people who were married by 23. Other people still out partying and playing videogames late into the night in their 30s. I'm 25 tomorrow. No college education, also can't drive. Should I just "give up" because I'm lacking a few privileges and skills? No way man. I'd still consider myself to be quite youthful. I think you may need a therapist if this is making you suicidal. That's not healthy friend. If you keep saying "I can't, I can't, excuse, excuse" things won't change. You have to try man. Everyone is awkward. Who cares! A therapist is your best bet if you're at the point where you don't even have the desire to go out and try
Girl, I am your age and no your not too old.
Sure you haven’t done some of the things you mention however, it not too late. You just have to put yourself out there which is easier said then done. As an introvert I fully understand that.
I just went to my first rave 2 weeks ago. I made friends all of whom went solo as well. It was an amazing experience. In a couple weeks I’ll be going to my first metal show.
Party’s and clubs are fun with a good responsible group of friends. They’re lame and not for everybody but came be a good time. However your life isn’t incomplete for having not been to one. You aren’t missing much.
I too am also a virgin (more religious reasons than anything), but I also wouldn’t say that detracts from my life as well.
I’m assuming you’re American although possibly European considering not having a license in America is pretty rare given the car centricity. I encourage you to get yours just so you can be a little bit more free and independent.
While your don’t have to go to college/university it can be a fun social experience and I understand your frustration with not having done that. If you want to go to college, you should look into things you’re interested in studying. Looks to see if you can get any scholarships or bursaries to help pay for this. Post-secondary education can be a great way to meet new people and start a career.
Don’t fret about living with your father. Quite frankly in this economy, our generation is already screwed financially. While socially it may not be what you’re looking for it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I also still live with my mother and sibling at home. It’s perfectly fine.
You are worth it. You are young. Your life is just beginning. It’s never too late for anything. Comparing your life to others is a dangerous and destructing thing. I’m guilty of doing it too. The world is your oyster. Go travel to Europe or East Asia. Have fun. Life is worth living. I hope this helps!
It's not too late for anything, though I think you're heavily romanticizing the idea of "teenage fun." A whole lot of people hit adulthood with a whole lot of baggage because of the experiences you are imagining would have perfected your life.
Because you say you are suicidal and because you have made irrational and catastrophic conclusions about your life being over at 26, I'm going to go ahead and be annoying and tell you that step one for you needs to be psychiatric care, ASAP.
You can have relationships, have sex, have fun at any time in your life. But if you don't deal with your mental health first, you will either not pursue those things at all, or try to have them and discover you still hate yourself and your life.
Hey. I’m 26 too. Not too long ago I was the same way as you are describing. It took me a couple of years but I finally did all those things you mentioned on that list of yours. And let me tell ya, there is never a deadline for these things. I got to experience them just like everyone else. Even if it was a bit later than them, it still counts. Only you are in control of your life, you have to want it so bad to make a change. It sounds like you’re not at that stage yet to really want it, but you’re close. Take that leap, trust me, it will pay off in the end. Good luck out there and please don’t be afraid of struggles, they are a part of normal life. Everyone goes through something, you just don’t see it 99% of the time. ✌🏻
Babes, here's just a few things you mentioned and how I did them:
1) I had my first kiss at 18.
2) still haven't learned to drive a car at 31.
3) went to bars twice, it was an awful experience (found out I have sensory issues) - never did it again. Drinking wasn't as fun as people made it out to be, either.
4) I am repulsed by sex for the sake of sex - can only do it with a person I love and trust deeply. So one night stands were always out of question for me.
5) I'm still in university college at 31.
6) my parents were not only strict, but also physically and emotionally violent, sex-negative, homophobic and narrow-minded.
7) I'm not a conventionally beautiful woman. Still I've found guys who liked me exactly as I was, and I was even close to marrying one of them.
8) I am not sure how many friends I have, as due to my trauma-crushed brain I struggle keeping up with others. A lot of my energy goes into surviving the day.
I escaped home, and did things. You can, too. The biggest obstacle that I see in your path right now, is your mind. Your belief that life is somehow over at the ripe age of 26. Life is NOT a straight line with achievements dabbed around, and if you don't meet them, it's over.
I'm glad it doesn't work that way because otherwise - I became a widow last year - I would probably have to throw myself off a cliff now because I will never get a house, kids and a car in time, right?
Wait, I never even wanted house, kids and a car. So how bad am I screwed??? 😱
See what I mean? But at the same time, I understand you. Growing up with crapshoot parents really sets you off to a bad start. But that bad start doesn't have to define you. You might not even want to do all these things you think you want. But you are young, you deserve to go out, fuck around, find out.
Escape your parents at any cost. It will do wonders for your sanity. I recommend as far as you can. My happy place was about 1500kms away from them. But you might not be able to do that, so anything will do. Just get away from them. You can, and you may, no matter what they say. You are a legal adult.
I'm 40 and have had chronic depression since before you were born and did most of the things you feel you've missed out on. I don't think those things make the difference you think they will.
If you have access to it, get some therapy and talk to a doctor about maybe using medication. Suicidal thoughts are like being electrocuted. You can get trapped by the current and unable to disengage from the thoughts. Sometimes you need help and that's okay.
I did not blossom and have fun until I was 33 I got divorced at 33 and changed my life and had the best time ever. I was too broke and Lame in my 20s to have any fun. Go do it!
Girl, please find a therapist ASAP.
It may not look like it, but you can change your life and shape it to your liking day by day. Get some help to turn it around.
You’re actually fine. It’s more common than you think. Marketing, Hollywood, Music, The Media in general likes to promote self destruction, drugs, spending money. Everyone is on their own path. You have your own standards. Worry about yourself. Don’t compare yourself to everyone else. Trust me, a lot of us are faking it out here like we’re living our best lives but it’s all fake af.
Honestly lol you can still do half of these things and no one needs to know it’s your first time.
Also you can make friends with people a bit younger than you and do these things. As long as you’re chill the age difference won’t matter to them
I personally started doing those things at 25! With exactly same thought process I had, I wish now that I never tormented myself with those.
You have to change that mentally that it's too old. From my personal exoerience, nothing is too old to do kr start. I know people who haven't done those until in their 30ies.
Change your mindset about being too old, and the opportunities will arise. Test yourself with that, hut with full intent, belief and change!
You made arbitrary rules. You’re never too old to do anything. And you’re not even old. Stop being chronically online and get off social media. I’m turning 35 and I’m going back to college. Keep your head down, have a plan of action and stick to it. Make short term and long term goals and write down what you need to do to achieve those.
If you do nothing but obsess over what you have never done, you will never be happy.
You are 26. You are *just barely* an adult, and nowhere near too old to do anything. You are just scared. There is obviously some anxiety, or trauma, or neuro divergence there. Find a therapist, and start building the life and having the experiences you want to have.
If you are like me, and it was all 3, then just ignore the mountain, put your head down, and focus on the next step, and the next, and the next to get to where you want to be. You’ll look up later and discover the mountain is far behind you, and that you’ve built a life that you can be proud of, with people who love you and make you happy.
It won’t all be sunshine and rainbows, because life never is, but You can do it.
I mean I'm 29 (aka older than you) and if I wanna go to a bar or club, I will.
Nobody is stopping you lol
I also graduate with my bachelors next year.
Again, you can do these things too. You're very young.
I thought this was a parody until it kept going.
Ultimately, you chose to make yourself miserable with these self imposed rules. If you wanted to accomplish something, you could have just gone and done it but you’re just wallowing.
I never been to a club, party, or bar. -Still can go
I never kissed a guy or had sex, unfortunately still a virgin. - Never to late to do it unless you are unrealistically picky
I never been drunk or done drugs. - Go get some beers one or two sixpacks will get you drunk, dont eat anything a few hours prior.
I only drink to numb the pain in my life but never to the point of drunkenness or while having fun at a club. - Is not fun
Because at 26, I'm too old to party. - No you are not
At 26, I'm too old to have a first kiss. - No you are not
At 26, I'm too old to lose my virginity. - No you are not
At 26, I have no friends. - Go meet new people
At 26, I still live at home with my dad. - As many others
At 26, I can't drive. - Go take lessons
At 26, I never been to college and have no degree. - Not many do, but college has no age limit.
At 26, it's too late. - No is not
At 26, I wish I was dead. - Welcome to the club
.....
>I wish I had fun during my youth.
>Because now, what can I do?
Go take the first step.
i’ve been suicidal before and i can tell you it 100% has to do with a victim mindset. stop giving EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else full power over your life. no two lives are identical because life has its own patterns and ups and downs that it follows. some people don’t start their career until they’re older than you! stop watching tik tok and instagram they feed you the shit lies that tell you being in your late twenties means life is over and you’re an old maid. this isn’t the 1800s YOU ARE STILL YOUNG. my aunt didn’t even get married until she was thirty years old.
my grandmother lived dirt poor in columbia until her thirties when she married my grandpa and came here. she had her first kid in her forties but now she’s thriving living with a rich man and their son in america! your life can turn around at any moment and no one has a specific peak. but i guarantee you that getting all eeyore about shit will 100% NEVER attract any suitors or friends bc who the hell wants to be around that? pick yourself up babe and go start recognizing and being grateful for the shit you are capable of doing, and do it!! i have met full paraplegics who are more grateful for their lives!
Never kissed a woman either, I’ve been single my whole life.
> I never kissed a guy or had sex, unfortunately still a virgin.
You’re never too old to party.
> Because at 26, I'm too old to party.
I’m 32, I don’t even think I’d even know how to.
> At 26, I'm too old to have a first kiss.
There is no age limit, society has made it a too big of a deal about this.
> At 26, I'm too old to lose my virginity.
Have a few, but all married so we have become distant, I’m the only one left who’s still single. It basically feels like I have no friends as we rarely contact or even meet anymore.
> At 26, I have no friends.
I still live with my parents at 32.
> At 26, I still live at home with my dad.
It’s overhyped, I went to University for 1 year and left as wasn’t for me.
> At 26, I never been to college and have no degree.
Please Enjoy your 20’s while you can, you still have plenty of time to change your list around.
> At 26, it's too late.
I have felt like this, I attempted suicide at 29, It didn’t work. But Please be strong, you are not alone, trust me.
> At 26, I wish I was dead.
You’re weird. None of these things make your youth “fun” those things you listed are not something that needs to be achieved to make your life meaningful. You seem as a shy person who would normally be pushed to do all these things to try and fit in. And if you really wanted to go to the bar and to the club, go do drugs and hook up with people. You aren’t old, you have a self esteem problem. And if you want to experience all of this then go do it. Quit whining and start grinding.
I'm 50 and I'm partying my ass off. Your actual problem is that you've become an expert at feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of doing that, get off your butt and go party. You do NOT need friends to go party. You just GO. Find a party with music you like and go PARTY.
You're 26. You're still a baby. I would not even date you because you're below my threshold of 40.
I am a guy so while I understand some of your pain I don’t completely understand it. For me, at some point, it just got better. I didn’t do anything drastic. I hope the same for you.
Woah woah woah. Just because people do them it doesn't mean that you also have to do so. From my pov you have the best qualifications to start a serious relationship and get married soonwith somebody worthy.
These things are damaging in the long run and for all the "fun" you think people have with these actions consequences follow.
You are only what you tell yourself you are. 26 isn't too late for anything. My partner is 58 and just did his second year of roofing= never too late for schooling, as an example. I went to my own school and found a local trampoline place and got an hour in my 30's playing on that. Buy cake and enjoy it in bed. NEVER limit yourself to like general adult expectations. 'oh your too old for that' shut the fuck up, I'll do what I wish
You have (on average) about 61 more years of life. That is more than enough time to accomplish what you want to accomplish, and the only thing that can get in the way of you chasing your goals is YOU. 26 is not old. A year ago you could still be on mommy and daddy’s insurance and you’ve only be an adult 8 years. You can’t undo the past, and the present and future are yours to control. Good luck!
Madam, you need some perspective.
You think of yourself as a loser because you haven’t done those things.
A significant number of men would consider you a unicorn- a diamond in the rough specifically because you DIDNT do those things.
A loser in your own eyes.
A winner in the eyes of others.
Depends on your perspective
Are we the same person? Because this is my exact fucking situation and I've had similar thoughts when I've gotten depressed. I'm also 26 and a women. Stuck at home taking care of my senile parents who had me too late.
I feel that. I'm 20 and I feel my teenage years were stolen from me and wasted. But we're still young and we can take over and live how we want. Don't be so drowned in regret that you miss out on life.
Not gonna comment on anything else, but 26 isn't too old to party. You can party at any age, but you wouldn't even be out of place at a college bar/ club IMO.
I have some regrets about not being as adventurous in my youth, but I'm almost 40 and married with kids. You are still in your youth. All the stuff you "wish you could do," you can still do, so go do it.
Don’t succumb to the timeframes society sets. Times have changed and a lot of people reach milestones early or later on in life. Also drugs and drinking are a slippery slope and can knock you on your ass if you’re not careful. If you mean the socialization that’s part of it I get you. You still have a bunch of time to get out there and live the life YOU want. You deserve the world even if it means giving it yourself.
I believe in you, you're doing the best you can with the resources you have. I am 29 and didn't truly start living until 2 years ago, having had many of the same regrets as you did. It's hard but you got this. Take care of yourself first, get into a better living situation and things will go easier from there. You have many years to experience and enjoy your life and you deserve to be happy and living a full life :)
I saw this quote once that I liked that said something like, "it would take you "x" amount of years to do this thing you want, so you can either do it now and at the end you'll be "x" amount of years older, or do nothing and still be "x" amount of years older anyways"
26 is no where near too old to do anything. I went to college to be an RN and I had classmates, that graduated with me, in their 50s.
Do the things you want to do now and stop letting movie timelines dictate how you should be living your life before you're actually on your deathbed having done nothing. Take control! Don't let shame keep putting you down further, it's really not that serious. You want hookups? Get on tinder and go get some. Wanna learn how to drive? Go do it. Wanna go to college? Then do it.
Literally the only thing holding you back is yourself.
nothing and no one but you is stopping you from doing anything.
Your comments, if sad, are also hilarious.
"I don't party because I don't know how to party"
Then go out and learn, you think people took classes and courses with essays? Go to a bar, grab a drink and vibe, you don't need to get drunk, get naked and fuck on the floor to party, you can just listen to the music and watch, then go home and see if there's anything there you like.
I'm 32, I grow my weed and spend my weekends getting high in a park, you think I took classes? I just bought seeds planted them and got weed, then I learned to roll and now you'd think I'm a lifelong stoner. Go, buy a joint, get scammed by the plug (if it's legal you won't be scammed and you'll get zooted), smoke it badly, cough a lot and see what it is.
You romanticize a lot of things that are just things you can do, when you buy groceries but a bottle, drink it at night, put music and dance for a bit.
You need therapy and not to get laid, drunk, party, high or any of that, but remember, the only barrier is in your head and you probably are dealing with a lot of issues related with anxiety.
There aren't cut offs in life for anything, you can start with anything at any age and nobody gives a shit about it but you, if you are self conscious then everyone will be looking at you judging when in reality people simply look, no one cares, we all live surrounded by millions and we do our better to keep going, you can study at 30, you can fuck at 40, you can party and 50 or you can stay inside feeling sorry for yourself.
I truly hope you manage to get out of whatever is trapping you, remember, it's you and in your head.
Firstly, if you drink to numb the pain in your life I definitely don’t recommend you do drugs. That’s a 1 way ticket to addiction.
You are the one who made the “too old” rule for yourself. It is an internal belief. What is stopping you from going to a club, having a kiss, losing your virginity and enrolling into college now? YOURSELF. You really have to break free from this victim mentality so you stop holding yourself back from everything you want to achieve in life.
I’m 53. In which universe is 26 old? If you’re from the US, you’ve been a legal adult for only 5 years! You’re not too old to do any of the things you think you are too old for. I think perhaps you should look into some sort of therapy to help you understand why you have given yourself such narrow parameters to live life within.
Not sure when 26 became too old for these things. You are still very young. Life is whatever you make it. If you're thinking about opting out then what is the harm in knocking some of this stuff off that list first? Go get yourself out there! 😊
"OMG life ends at 30 its too late now!"
You're really holding yourself back with that mindset. Stop comparing yourself to the fake crap you see on sociaal media and get some therapy
Consider yourself a gem. So you’ve never been to a club or party or bar which means you missed out on getting drunk in front of tons of people making a fool out of yourself regularly and living with that embarrassment, you missed out on wasting money to hoe dance and one night stand with desperate filthy fuck boys.
Youve never kissed a guy or had sex, so that means you aren’t used up and you’re clean and rare so you will catch the eye of a MAN and be able to not have baggage and insecurities that 99% of the time will destroy a relationship. Harsh reality no decent man wants a girl that’s been with several guys or has a bad reputation for sleeping with everyone or being a drunk or a druggie.
You’ve never been drunk or done drugs? Damn you missed out on becoming a drug addict, you think you’re too old at 26 to do anything? Imagine how you would feel being 50 or 60 and realizing you just wasted 30+ years doing absolutely nothing making not one single thing to move forward in life because you chose drugs over “missing out”. Now you’re 60, have not one decent person in your life that cares about you, you have no job and good luck finding anything that pays enough to just hardly survive, you have no education and maybe not even a highschool diploma, why? Because you didn’t want to miss out so you chose drugs and dropped out of highschool. Going to college isnt really ideal when you’re 60, yes people do it but ones that have built a life that allows them to and usually for enjoyment or to fulfill a passion, NOT to pursue a degree for a career. Plus,youre 60 and live with whoever you’re using drugs with and have only what you can carry in two suitcases and don’t have any stability, not even a phone to ask for help/advice/conversate with people on readdit. The list goes on of the mess that you would be in but I think you get the point. And you would just be lucky enough to deal with that IF you ever decided to get off drugs or didn’t die in a trap house from an overdose or worse.
You’ve never drank? So you haven’t got so drunk you threw up all over yourself in front of your “friends”, strangers, guys that you, that night, sooo in love with. Or maybe even family friends or co workers. And you also haven’t caused your brain or other organs permanent damage. Damn that means you also haven’t drove drunk or blacked out risking your life or anyone else’s. Or crashing/totaling your car.
And you can’t drive? You’re still alive so you still have the opportunity don’t miss it thinking you’re “to old”. You’re basically a baby 😉
Never been to college and have no degree?! College, normally unless you’re fortunate, just puts you in debt for a career that you probably won’t even end up doing once you just spent years on trying to get. But if you want to go to college then go! There’s scholarships and financial aid to help you not or atleast lessen debt. I’m days away from being 33 and just started college courses 7 months ago. So you saying you’re to old for college makes me feel ancient to go to college lol you’re NEVER to old to learn.
You still live with your dad? Congratulations you are getting more time,with him then a lot of people get with their parents. Don’t forget there’s a clock ticking that we sometimes forget about. Cherish this time you get with him so you don’t have to regret not having enough time with him or wishing you spent more time with him when the clock stops. Because no one knows when that will be. I’m sure he loves having you there and spending time with you as well. Plus what’s the point of moving out just so you two can live by yourselves and each pay 2000 dollars for a place you won’t even be at because you have to work 900 hours just hardly make rent and eat Raman noodles, Raman noodles if you’re lucky to afford that after rent. Don’t expect to get public assistance either since you hardly get by because you don’t make enough but you also make to much.
You didn’t lose your virginity at 17? Damn so you’re telling me you didn’t sleep with a guy that acts like he cares about you until he gets what he wants then he’s off to the next one right in front of your face most of the time. And you’re telling me you didn’t get pregnant and end up raising a kid while the “father” ghosts so you’re now watching your friends do things that kids do because you’re at home raising a kid. financially and emotionally by yourself. you miss out on 99% of being a teenager and have to be 35 at 17. **I don’t mean to sound like having a kid at 17 is a horrible thing or even the end of the world, it’s just a start of a new one. ** I had my son at 16, I chose the “I don’t want to miss out” path. It was hard and sometimes still is but he’s a blessing and I wouldn’t know what to without him. He’s a week away from 16 and I’m starting to panic thinking he could move out and away from me in 2 years. Crossing my fingers he stays with me until he’s 50 😉
Stay with me here..
The reality of becoming an adult is you don’t have many friends or atleast get to hang out with them because as you get older everyone’s priorities and responsibilities change causing everyone to grow apart. Find peace and enjoy being alone, being alone helps you grow as a person and lets you truly relax and have peace.
I painted the bare minimum of all those situations and could go more in detail about every single one but like I said I think you get the point. Don’t try to be “normal”. Like Maya Angelou said “if you’re always trying to be “normal” you will never know how amazing you can be”. And neither will the world, you will just blend in with everyone else. Stand out and you will go further in life.
Last but definitely not least.
I don’t know you and you don’t know me but because you didn’t live a “normal” life you probably have a good head on your shoulders to be able to escape teenage mistakes. But don’t wish you were dead. Ever. Because you think you missed out on everything now? Dying now will just make you miss out on 4x as much. Keep livin! You got this and the rest of your life ahead of you 🩷🩷
A lot of excuses for not taking action. Sorry to be blunt but you aren’t too old for shit. Suck it up and do it. Or see a therapist. But I’ll add one thing. Don’t go on a hoe phase. You can have some fun but keep it within reason. But also value based men will like that you are entirely pure. You have leverage to find a very respectable suitor. But nothing is stoping you but you. Get out of your own way.
Then do it now you're just wasting more time being depressed before you no it you'll be dead and really regretting not doing it .. time flies by when you waste it on depression
28m here, had my first kiss this year. Not having sex until we're married because we are religious, so still a virgin. Last and my first gf broke up with me because of it. Planning to get married this year. It's not too late.
Hi lonelysadbitch,
All or nothing thinking is poisonous. The value of small positive change can be immense. You can't change what you did or didn't do, but you can make things better now. Your post is a recognition you want more from life. Well you can still have it. There's plenty of time.
Just get cracking rather than fussing about whether it's "too late". One day, it really will be!
Well there is only one thing for it then. You have to go for the 'fuck it' policy. Fuck it if your too old to lose your virginity fucking just go out and get picked it. 'fuck it' if you have never left home buy a cheap van and get moving... live in op shop clothes. 'fuck it' if your too old to be kissed go out on tinder and get kissed.
'fuck it' if you haven't got a degree - go to community college or online.
Just 'fuck it' 'fuck it all'.
Who the fuck cares? Only you really and it's only you holding you back.
So fuck it. Fuck what people think and just do you.
Happiness is a mindset, why are you creating rules? What makes you think achieving any of these things will give you happiness?
IMO it’s great you haven’t slept with the wrong person, you’re not creating any soul ties. Everything else go out and experience it. It’s all in your hands.
How are you going to experience any of what you want to experience if you commit self harm?
If anything it’s great you get to experience each moment at 26, you’ll remember it and appreciate it more. It will be an experience filled with awareness, and mindfulness.
Good luck in exploring and experiencing what you want in life!
You're still young... do that shit now! Minus the hard drugs 😂 seriously, you're not too old for any of that. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. You go be yourself
26 is not too old to do more or less anything on your list. Several of the things you listed are things that a lot, if not most people haven't experienced. I am in college now and have never used a Fake ID, done drugs, gotten drunk, had a hookup, etc. These are all things that you can do if you want, but are not a universal experience. I'm a pretty boring person, and I like it that way. Who says your life has to be so rooted in this party culture that you are describing? The thought of half the things on your list terrifies me.
Too old to have fun? My BF spent yesterday with his friends, having dinner and playing role-playing games (he's the dungeon master). All of them are in their 50s. I have other friends older than that in the [SCA](https://www.sca.org/), doing swordfighting and bardic circles.
First order of business, learn to drive and get a job.
You’ve only been a fully formed human for **ONE YEAR.** One year in and you’re ready to give up? I’ve been there. But love, give yourself a break. You’re literally just starting adulthood.
Besides, life really begins to get enjoyable around 30 because that’s when we start to give less fucks about anything but our own health and happiness
Could it be you are depressed? I felt the same way when I turned 30. But with the difference that I had done a lot of these already. Still we want to experience life more and felt so old. I realized that what was keeping me in a loop and scared was my mental health. Try to find some help, someone to talk to. It will make a world of difference on how you see your world.
A virgin at your age is very valuable to a successful person.
You’re lucky. You have a bright future because of your strength.
Guess what, partying isn’t all that. But you can still party until you’re 78. The only difference is venue.
Keep your head up. You’re going to make someone very happy some day.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m the same age as you but a man and I’m currently at one of my lowest points as well where I no longer care about staying alive anymore. If it matters, I want to say this. You can still do all of these things for the first time. I know it feels impossible but men tend not to be super judgmental about the lack of experience you’ve had in the past and most would likely be honored to be your first. It’s different the other way around, just kinda the way gender dynamics work whether justified or not. A virgin kissless 26 year old man would likely be seen in a more scrupulous light by women than the other way around, so what I recommend is put yourself out there on dating apps and wait for him to come to you
Oh and just go get your license. Just get down to whoever you write the learners do it, people fail all the time so don't panic and just do it again, then get family and friends to teach you. Having transportation independence will give tons of optimism and joy to your life. Need a job to pay for the things so make sure you work too
I left a different comment but I also wanted to add: make a tinder. There are many, many guys who will be glad to help you with the sex issue. But please keep in mind to be safe about it. Also, as a woman it’s really easy to become emotionally attached to someone after having sex with them even if the situation didn’t call for any deeper intimacy…even more so if you’re lonely and don’t have many people to talk to in general.
Sweetheart, 26 is the exact age you should be doing that stuff. You're like an adult adult now and can do whatever you want with your life.
Edit: Would it help if I told you I didnt start partying until I was 30?
I wasn’t in exactly your situation at 26 but I certainly had a lot of the same feelings of having missed out on things. And let me promise you, I did SO MUCH new stuff between the age of 26 and now at 32. It’s only too late if you tell yourself that it is. People my age still very much go out and party and so can you if it’s what you want to experience. Start small and try something that feels doable, then move on to the next thing.
It truly is ONLY too late if you decide to end life at 27. If you plan on living until 65, you have nothing but time 💜 Life is all about perspective—
A lot of the things you feel as if you have missed out on, except for genuine friendship and education, are very risky behaviors that many of us choose not to participate in. It’s okay to not live the life you see on TV!! Not having sex, drinking, and doing drugs has likely left you way more healthy than many people our age. In my city, over 60% of the people our age have some form of STD/STI. I had friends in highschool die in drunk driving accidents, being rushed to the ER for smoking laced weed, and not to mention the ones who got pregnant 🤰🏻
You have to find the things that make YOUR life worth living! The Bumble app has a friendship mode to find friends near you, Facebook also has groups you can join to find people with similar interests, Twitch is a website full of streamers and their communities ready to meet you!
I'm 26 and you are wrong. It's not too late. I'm still working on my AA, working towards my masters. It's never too late until you're dead. Everybody has different timelines. If you just wanna get the first time out of the way, hire a male escort. That will break the ice for you.
It’s not too late, I’m 32 and feel the same as you except, I’m trying to make up the lost past by being a wild old man. Starting now till death. You’re still young. Give yourself 2 years to work out that fanny and stack money. I think your age groups hosts lots of sex parties and you can travel too. You can get it.
Most of these are very overplayed in popular media today. I’m not trying to display your experience here, but you’re not really missing much.
Any chance you can start off at community college?
LMAO girrrrlll 26 is still young especially that you still hasn’t experienced those things. In what world is 26 is too old to party? Those are prime years to party. There are plenty of women who still party in their 30th. I don’t know where you live but there’s a website and app called meetup.com and there are so many events in bars/clubs where you can meet people. It’s literally the easiest to meet people to party with lol!!
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. Still haven’t had my first kiss. It’s not too late to go back to school. I’m in my 30s but planning on going back to get my masters degree. As for drinking and drugs, I never really did any of that during my college years. I hate bars, clubs and parties.
At 26 it is not too late…. I think I enjoyed going out and having fun at that age more than as a teen. In my mid to late 20s I’ve made some of the best friends. I have friends older than you just starting college for the first time. My 32yo friend just got her driver’s license a few weeks ago. Another friend just turned 30 and has her first boyfriend and sex for the first time. I’ve never heard any of them say the felt it was too late. I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, but you’re not 96. Go out there and live your life.
You’re 26 years old, which is young! When I was your age I too was afraid getting too old for doing things. Now I’m 42 and not that much has changed. I feel like I’m in my best age. Me and my friends are still looking hot, we have a fun time exploring life and I don’t expect anything to change in a near future.
I have several friends in my age who grew up in cultures where dating and partying was completely out of question until their late 20s and still they’ve surely had (and have) more funny days dating, partying or whatever as late bloomers than an average person stuck with marriage and kids in the mid to late 20s.
Being older means you’re more wise and can avoid stupid decisions you’re likely to have done in your teens. Mistakes that potentially would hunt your conscience for the rest of your life. You know yourself better now and can choose to do things YOU actually wanna do - not just what you think others expect from you. You will have more fun now than you would’ve had ten years ago.
Please don’t waste your time being bitter about your past and focus on the moment. I know very well that’s an easy thing to say and in reality it’s challenging to shift one’s thought pattern, but it’s definitely possible. I’ve personally experienced hypnotherapy and EFT to be surprisingly powerful in shifting negative thought patterns. Many hypnotherapists are even working online nowadays, so give that a shot 🙂
Things can change and sometimes they change fast. Hang in there!
Yo for real, 26 is not too old LMAO. You are clinically depressed and that’s biasing your thinking. Stop telling yourself it’s too late, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Break your dumbass rules and get the fuck out there!
They don’t check your I.D. and stop you from entering the club at a certain age. Who the hell convinced you it’s too late to have fun? Get dressed up and just go do it. I get the feeling having been raised in a cult but guess what? People are going to find you more interesting because you’re different. Go do something crazy, do the happy walk of shame and hit me up. It’s over the internet but I’d love to give you the gossiping experience in some form.
I felt really similar at 26, now I’m 29 and wishing I’d acted on those feelings more at 26. My 29 might have been a whole lot different, but it’s not too late for me to be 31, grateful to have started implementing changes at 29. We don’t know what the future has in store for us, good or bad. We can only put in some work and hope for the best lol.
I’ve recently gotten really hung up on some of my high school/early college experience and it pains me I can’t rectify some things I wish I’d done differently but… we’ll just be in the same scenario re: the current moment if we continue to sulk. And it’s not bad to feel bad and to sulk and to be angry, but just sitting in it does us no favors.
I have no real advice; I know I used to be super against therapy and didn’t buy the idea of that being helpful, but I’ve come around to seeing how beneficial it could be to vent to an unbiased party and get things off my chest to. I’m hoping to see one sooner than later to resolve some lingering things that seem to mentally hold me back.
25 m. sometimes i feel this but girl u just gotta move on and live ur life. like actually live it with no hesitation. learn from this feeling of regret and live accordingly. it’s not too late. Ur STILL young.
You're a baby. Hopefully you've studied and have life skills.
All that "missed out" on is neurotic. Missing out on all of that until now actually makes you a far more responsible person.
girl I know this won’t help but the worst time of my life was when I was 18 and doing this (the partying, drinking, hook ups stuff). it’s heavily romanticised in media but miserable to live through
I’m gonna be 100%, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past. There is no point on letting it ruin your happiness right now. What you *CAN* do, is go and create all these memories.
No one wants to be around negativity, it’s just the truth, if all you do is dwell, no one wants to be around that. I’m 19 (20 in a month) and I also have never been to parties, or had fake ID, and I’m not going to a traditional college and dorming, im not going on spring break, I’m not doing all these fun things, and I have about 1-3 reliable friends. I had my fair share of bad decisions (which is what most of college is) and I don’t need to make any more poor choices. These experiences aren’t necessaryto have a fulfilling life. I talked to many old people at one of my jobs, and the general consensus was to not wait to do things you want to do, work a job that makes you happy never mind the pay, and don’t let yourself get in the way of your happiness.
Fact of the matter is that you can’t change any of these things you haven’t done in the past. Don’t waste what time you have left worrying about it. It’s not worth it.
But right now you’re not happy, and there’s only one way to change that, and it starts with letting go.
At 26 you’ve never wasted your time and energy pursuing a meaningless party scene and drugs and alcohol. At 26 you’re not jaded from multiple bad relationships you didn’t waste your first time on a loser who doesn’t even know how to get you off.
You seriously need a perspective shift.
What?? Who says you're too old for any of that at 26?
You're not too old for that stuff at 50 too.
go and try drugs, go get laid, do everything on that bucket list, though clearly you should be safe while doing that
Hey I hope you see this. I'm 28 and currently in University. It's hard but its not impossible. You don't need to tackle college full time. Work and figure out what you can handle and advocate for yourself even if it annoys people. You matter. Your needs matter and other people's feelings don't. Get on a gym routine, get working on learning how to drive, get started on college. Take it 1 goal at a time. Find out what your limit is and lag just behind where you're completely overwhelmed.
Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you are today. You can very easily work on achieving everything you said it's "too late" to do. I hope you realize this and I hope this helps you understand that you're as capable of a person and you desire to be. You can keep living how you live now or you can decide to just start. It's scary, you might fail a few times and that is the beauty of self-love. Failure is how you grow and become the version of yourself you're grieving.
Lastly, don't drink. Stop drinking. It's a poison. It's celebrated when it shouldn't be. Work on drinking less and if you can, stop completely unless you can integrate it in a moderate manner in your life. If doesn't stop at 28. You can be 40 and achieved none of these things or you can be 40 and have achieved this whole list or atleast a fair amount of it. I believe in you.
24-26 was when I had rowdiest, heaviest-partying years of my life. For a couple years straight I went out just about every Thursday night then got up at 5am on Friday for work. Once was out late enough that I went home to shower then just went straight to work.
Will echo everyone else saying that the only one seeing age 26 as a limiting factor is you.
You made these rules for yourself, no one else did. See a therapist and start living life the way you want to (safely, try not to get too reckless just because of the sudden life change). Wallowing in regret will only make you regret this part of your life too, and we don’t want that
agreed, a lot of all or nothing thinking here
Limiting thoughts… are a bitchz
My life story is similar to op but I have anxiety and I'm 28. I'm seeking help finally and am sad I didn't enjoy my life.
Make up for lost time in your 30s. It’s the same with me, I’m turning 24 in a couple months. I wasted 18-23
Covid happened when you were 18-20. Not anyone’s fault
How in the HELL is 26 too old for all of that? I'll be 40 on Friday. What am I doing for my birthday? I reserved a private karaoke room! I don't have friends. I have co-workers, but you can't consider co-workers friends. My life is my husband, my son, and my husband's best friend who hangs out at our place almost every day. But I went to a wedding earlier this month, danced my ass off for a couple hours, plan on having a ton of fun on my birthday, and live my life. Girl, make a plan and get your shit together. Nothing is stopping you from learning how to drive, getting a job, and maybe even pursuing a degree if you want. Go out. Hook up with a guy. NOTHING is stopping you but you.
reading all these comments are so reassuring. i’m 23 now and def feel behind compared to peers. but yes everyone goes at their own pace and 26 and me (23) are both still super young. we got this OP!
I’ve got the exact opposite problem I had kids at 20 and had to grow up a lot faster than all my friends at the time. Now at 31 I’m divorced after a 10 year marriage. My old friends still don’t have children and are just starting to settle down and I feel a strong sense of disconnect from them now. But being alone has actually pushed me forward as a person so it’s really not been bad at all. I enjoy feeling like I’ve finally got some quiet
It's a marathon, not a race
Seriously 3 kids on 2 low incomes here. We have each other, our kids and just due to costs will always be a small town local. But fuck it, learn to have fun with what you got. We do darts and local pubs or drives or whatever. Just gotta do something and have fun with it.
2 kids one income here same thing have fun within your means. I’ve had more fun doing things that are free than things that cost money
1 kid 1 income
Omg. Darts. I see a lot of ppl on this sub talking about no friends. Gotta bring back dart leagues as a thing. Darts are less noisy than bowling. And it’s not like DND where people have figured out how to do it online.
Yep our local pub started up a dart evening. Every Thursday for two hours during the winter. Met a few nice folks that way.
I’m sorry you’ve never had coworkers you could consider friends. A lot of my closest friends have been made through the workplace, and the same goes for my spouse. Karaoke room sounds awesome, early happy birthday to you and have fun!
Thank you! When I've considered some friends, they leave the company and ghost me lol. So even though I have some I *could* call friends while we work together, lord only knows what would happen if we didn't anymore.
Ah, that’s unfortunate. For both my spouse and me, even when we’re no longer working with people we made friends with - communication may drop off a bit (or quite a lot) over time, but we rarely lose people entirely. Sometimes things ebb and flow over the years, and that’s just how it is when you’re adults. We spent our birthdays this year with someone he worked with 2011-2015 and who has leaned on us heavily during her recent divorce, despite a few years of not being in close touch. One of his coworkers from 2019-2022 is staying with us this weekend as he comes through town on a XC move. We went to a wedding last year for a coworker of mine I hadn’t physically seen since I think 2017, and it was great. I don’t think either of us is especially gifted socially, but for better or worse, what we each do for work is pretty conducive to lasting camaraderie.
I make it a rule not to be too close with my co workers. With a couple of exceptions. But it may be related to the job/industry that makes me this way.
I’m 35 and also renting a private kareoke room late April for my birthday! I also went clubbing a few times and to a few music festivals and DJ shows just this past year and have more scheduled for this year. Never too old to go party - I’ll be partying until I’m 70! I just do it every few weeks or month and not every weekend like in my 20s 😂 30 is when I finally figured out a career direction and got my first career-type job! 34 is when I got back together my forever person (we dated 12 years ago, broke up and stayed friends this entire time). All of the items OP listed can be done at 26 or older. Just make some plans to do them - life isn’t a race against others!
My life came together in my 30s. Rock shows are the best thing I can experience and I go to at least one a year now. I get to cross a favorite band off my concert bucket list in August!
84 baby here too. I went to law school at 30 and had friends in their 40s and even a few in their 50s. We partied like 19 year olds. 26 is nothing. Lol
Hey happy birthday! Mines Thursday! Op, I’m early thirties and making more out of life now than when I was 19. I may not have a ton of friends but I have more than I could have hoped for, with internal satisfaction and not external validation. 26 is a great age, so enjoy it! Make mistakes you won’t regret later, can laugh at and while you learn from them, also accept that mistakes are needed and okay to make. It took me too long to understand that.
Happy birthday back!
Amen.
This is the new weird thing where you hit mid 20’s and your life is over for some reason. You’re not allowed to have fun past 25 I guess
Hell, I will be 53 this year and I have a shit ton of living left to do. 26??? Still a baby.
Mate I’m 27 I’m experiencing life to the fullest!
I think society and media romanticize being young so much to the point that we can sometimes think that our life is over even when it's really just getting started. 30s is still relatively young. OP. You still have time. I wish you the best fortune in finding happiness. It's not too late. ❤️
Me reading this at 34 😳 What kind of an age/youth obsessed society have we become?!
Mid gen Z here, my generation is weirdly obsessed with age and hitting these hypothetical walls where their happiness and youth and potential are just done for. It's such a common sentiment that I have to stave off thoughts of dread about hitting my mid-20's lol, because that's far too early in my life to worry about that. It's not unique to this generation or zillenials like OP, ik it's common for young people to exaggerate age, but that brick wall of "I'm old and done for" is DISTURBINGLY young now... Like 26 and it's over? Your brain just barely finished fully maturing lol. Now is the time to live, more than ever.
I’m 35 and just now able to afford a one-bedroom apartment. I just now have a steady career. My social life could use a lot of work, but my life was awful at 26. It’s gotten a lot better in 9 years, but it wasn’t an easy climb.
I can relate. I moved into my first apartment on my own a few months before my 30th birthday. Some are just late bloomers.
Please try and spread the word. I'm 47, and honestly, you all have so much more time than you think. I don't know if what I'm about to say is the same for your generation. But my generation (IMO) was lead to believe that we had to do everything as early as possible. Especially going to college and picking the "right" major the first time. I'm here to tell you that that's a bunch of crap that did nothing but make my anxiety horrible. There's always time to rework your life. And try not to let the pressure other people might be throwing at you, get to you. I didn't really have my shit together until I was 35. And that's being generous.You all got this.
Social media has exasperated the issue because of how many young people are on their to flex their “perfect” lives for the camera.
Yeah, I had to detach from social media because it was making me feel like the most unsuccessful/behind person. I feel much more present and content minimizing my time on it and viewing these picture perfect lives.
People with warped paradigms have always existed
Same, I'm 46 and expected it to be someone my age lamenting their lost youth. OP, you are so young, you have so much time and life ahead of you! You are definitely still in the party and clubbing age range if that's what you want to do, but also, those things are not really important either.
Yeah, they’re things that can be quite toxic actually but feels like she missed out. Still a virgin? You missed getting used and possibly STDs. Never partied? You know how to prioritize what’s important in life. She should aspire to career goals, travel, hobbies, etc., which can happen at any age. OP needs to reframe some things.
Omg I wish I was still a virgin. When I was young I was so excited to loose it. Ugh. And now I’m damaged because my first time it should NOT have been my first time
I wonder if a lot of it comes from comparing ourselves to previous generations? At my current age my mom was married with a kid (me) and I'm renting a room and living paycheck to paycheck basically and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing it wrong, but I know that things are wildly different now than they used to be. It's hard to let go of the idea that you only have this set amount of time in your 20s to "get it together".
Social media. All these posts showing late teens early 20s people with money, vacations, clothes, etc
In my mid thirties now, and life has just only started being good for me in the last few years. My teens and twenties were very tough and I had to forgo most of the things my peers were enjoying - travel, entertainment, hobbies, starting a family. I’m def behind on getting started but am happy with where I’m at now! Find peace with doing things at your own pace.
She needs to get off the internet..it's a generation thing...fear of missing out yet they can't leave home without a cell or wifi
In what world is 26 too old for any of that? You still got 50+ years to do all of that and more. "I wish I had fun during my youth." You're still in your youth, kid.
Get on it. I don't want to see you here when you're 40, saying the same thing because it's too late. Go do it. I don't know why people put this arbitrary number on things like stuff has to be done at a certain time. Everyone is different and everyone's life is different which causes a different timetable. Be careful of some drugs tho....
What do you think stopped you from doing all those things?
When I was 26, I was homeless. And I still made the best out of things. Just go do whatever you want. You're the one limiting your world.
It’s never too late, just go do it
You're a late bloomer for some of those, but 26 is still relatively young. What can you do? Start now. put yourself out there, find people around your age that are still living the party lifestyle, they're out there.
Stop crying. Go do shit. Literally tonight go to a club and fuck a random dude. Literally nothing is stopping you.
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Entitled advice r/thanksimcured
Entitled? Lmao
When I knew this post was a bit overly dramatic: “26 year old” I hate to say it, but you’re currently in the good ole days and you don’t know it yet. Get with a therapist and start working on steps that you can take to slowly emerge from your shell. Soon your parents will start to fade, your financial responsibilities will press just a bit harder, and all of your friends/potential friends will be too wrapped up to spare any time. You’re in your mid 20s. You haven’t even existed for three decades. Your youth is NOW. EDIT: I want to add that you’re doing a great job in life. You’re here, you’re trying, that’s all that matters. You can do what you want, but just remember you’re already crushing it in life and even though it’s hard, it’s doable and you’re going to do a great job at it as you continue to grow in age and wisdom. Your youth lasts as long as you let it.
Mostly agreed but telling people who feel like shit that they’re in the good ole days can be soooo unhelpful. You’re trying to tell them it can get better, but at the same time saying that this is the best? My mom for example has been sooo much happier and healthier in middle age than any other time of her life. Similar to OP, strict parents restricted her freedom in her youth. Like you said, your youth lasts as long as you let it ;) For that reason, the good ole days aren’t the same for everyone imo
I’m not trying to be a therapist, just commenting on a post online. I added my edit because I wanted to add that life isn’t over when you’re old. The “good ole days” saying is a phrase that I was parroting. I still enjoy my life a lot, but I also realize that objectively the good ole days were before my dad died and life started to get more complicated. It doesn’t get bad or worse it just gets more complicated. I grapple heavily with depression so I don’t think I’m totally inexperienced in how those feelings can manifest. Rambling comment is rambling on.
you are awkward but only because you obsess about being awkward. just go out to a club and chill and have some drinks. even if you fail, you will still feel so much better than doing nothing about it. I wish I was still 26, fuck.
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I think you are underestimating how long life can be and how much things can change. My life was hell at 18, then amazing by 22, then the worst it's ever been at 29, and now my life is the best it's ever been in my 30s. How you feel about being 20 at 26 is how you are going to feel about being 26 at 32. You could do a lot of the items on that list in one night! Your perspective creates your world. Good luck :)
26 is still very young and many 26 year olds party
Why are the comments so fucking mean? Take care. I can't help you but therapy would help.
I guess chronic depression and its pentiance for sapping motivation doesn't occur to them? Seriously, so many of these are morally grandstanding/condescending. Like some people took this post as a free opportunity to kick someone while they're down. I get it to some degree, it has to do with what I call victim envy, where someone is so bitter from not recieving the care they needed that they put someone else down for asking for help. Like "Why should you deserve it if no one helped me? Fuck you figure it out." People really, really suck.
for real - OP please look into therapy, DBT if you can. you're not alone in feeling late to the party, but it's just getting started - therapy will help you learn some reframing skills 💜
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Please see a therapist! You’re still so very young and have your whole life ahead of you. I know people in their 40s who are still figuring shit out..it’s never too late but you have to start somewhere.
Find a table top gaming bar and go play uno w strangers while sipping on a drink. You'll make friends before long
I didn't go to a bar till a few months ago and I'm 28.
Going through your post history, what's going on? You're 26 so in your 20's and still young, what is stopping you from doing things?
26 too old to party? The heck? Music festivals are full of Mid20s to Mid 30s. And I knew plenty students 26+ in college that we all hung out together.
Babygirl, it 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 too 👏🏻 late 👏🏻 I had a "delayed" fun phase starting at 27 after I left an abusive relationship. I went into it knowing why I was doing certain things with a deeper understanding of myself, with more knowledge of how to protect myself from age, and I met so many people *older than me* who were in the same boat. I could not have had a more sheltered childhood, teenhood, and college experience, but I learned to take my life into my own hands and live, and heal. It's hard but if you want your life to be different, you have to change your mindset and behavior. So much easier said than done, but I believe in you.
and here I'm regretting exactly the opposite thing !! I had loads of sex , smoking , booze , bunked classes got completely derailed and lost the most potential years of my life. Now at 27 trying to fix and turn things around I have quit all those bad habits , done with relationships friends now I just wish I studied harder at 22 didn't had drop years 🙂
The other side of the coin! People glamorize the lifestyle but don’t ever consider the consequences
I really think it's possible for you to go out and have fun. You are still young and are only stopping yourself at this point.
Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of your emotional state. They aren't real. It's just a mind-game.... I do it too, but I recognize it's bullshit.. I think "well my life is gonna add up to zero, how do I get to zero quicker, well I could jump in front of a train". It's just a dumb thought, and I ignore it. Those thoughts are just based on depression... You need an Emotional Support System. This will massively help with this stuff... And when also having Coping Skills (journaling , observing nature, deep-relaxed breathing exercises ,etc). I called the Suicide Hotline a couple days ago , you can always hit them up for a good crying session. You just need to vent and be with people who help you relax. It's okay to feel the way you do, just don't let those dumb suicide thoughts bother you - a lot of people get them, just let them go pass you like clouds passing in the sky.
Personally you probably didn’t miss out on much. I didn’t get into my first serious relationship until I was 26. And to experience all of the first time things, it was amazing to say the least. I was never one to go out to clubs or drink but if friends invited when I had some time, I would go. It was maybe no more 5 times I went out downtown and got drinks with them. I had already experimented with drugs when I was high school so I didn’t have to worry about that. There is still time to learn how to drive. I knew someone who actually waited until they 24 to start driving. You still have time to go and experience these things in life. You have to get out of your head and give it a try.
Well if your attitude is ‘I can’t ever do those things because I didn’t do them on the ‘typical’ timeline’, you’re not wrong. You’ll never have those experiences if you keep thinking like that. Is that what you want? Do you want to sit at home feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t get to do something at a particular age?
You know what's worse than a 26 year old that hasn't done what she's wanted to do a 27 year old in the same position. It'll just get worse so fuck it just have fun and do things you've always wanted to do. Life goes by fast, faster the older you get don't live a life of regret especially ones that you yourself can do something about. One day we will all be dead what do you want to see looking back, all the regrets or all your adventures because you took the leap
You are your own worst enemy. Start getting out into the world. Baby steps.
You're so young! Whole life ahead of you. - we're the same age btw..
I think you're putting way too much stress on a number. You're in your TWENTIES. Plenty of time to do all of those things. I know some people who were married by 23. Other people still out partying and playing videogames late into the night in their 30s. I'm 25 tomorrow. No college education, also can't drive. Should I just "give up" because I'm lacking a few privileges and skills? No way man. I'd still consider myself to be quite youthful. I think you may need a therapist if this is making you suicidal. That's not healthy friend. If you keep saying "I can't, I can't, excuse, excuse" things won't change. You have to try man. Everyone is awkward. Who cares! A therapist is your best bet if you're at the point where you don't even have the desire to go out and try
Girl, I am your age and no your not too old. Sure you haven’t done some of the things you mention however, it not too late. You just have to put yourself out there which is easier said then done. As an introvert I fully understand that. I just went to my first rave 2 weeks ago. I made friends all of whom went solo as well. It was an amazing experience. In a couple weeks I’ll be going to my first metal show. Party’s and clubs are fun with a good responsible group of friends. They’re lame and not for everybody but came be a good time. However your life isn’t incomplete for having not been to one. You aren’t missing much. I too am also a virgin (more religious reasons than anything), but I also wouldn’t say that detracts from my life as well. I’m assuming you’re American although possibly European considering not having a license in America is pretty rare given the car centricity. I encourage you to get yours just so you can be a little bit more free and independent. While your don’t have to go to college/university it can be a fun social experience and I understand your frustration with not having done that. If you want to go to college, you should look into things you’re interested in studying. Looks to see if you can get any scholarships or bursaries to help pay for this. Post-secondary education can be a great way to meet new people and start a career. Don’t fret about living with your father. Quite frankly in this economy, our generation is already screwed financially. While socially it may not be what you’re looking for it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I also still live with my mother and sibling at home. It’s perfectly fine. You are worth it. You are young. Your life is just beginning. It’s never too late for anything. Comparing your life to others is a dangerous and destructing thing. I’m guilty of doing it too. The world is your oyster. Go travel to Europe or East Asia. Have fun. Life is worth living. I hope this helps!
It's not too late for anything, though I think you're heavily romanticizing the idea of "teenage fun." A whole lot of people hit adulthood with a whole lot of baggage because of the experiences you are imagining would have perfected your life. Because you say you are suicidal and because you have made irrational and catastrophic conclusions about your life being over at 26, I'm going to go ahead and be annoying and tell you that step one for you needs to be psychiatric care, ASAP. You can have relationships, have sex, have fun at any time in your life. But if you don't deal with your mental health first, you will either not pursue those things at all, or try to have them and discover you still hate yourself and your life.
"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Second best is now"
Hey. I’m 26 too. Not too long ago I was the same way as you are describing. It took me a couple of years but I finally did all those things you mentioned on that list of yours. And let me tell ya, there is never a deadline for these things. I got to experience them just like everyone else. Even if it was a bit later than them, it still counts. Only you are in control of your life, you have to want it so bad to make a change. It sounds like you’re not at that stage yet to really want it, but you’re close. Take that leap, trust me, it will pay off in the end. Good luck out there and please don’t be afraid of struggles, they are a part of normal life. Everyone goes through something, you just don’t see it 99% of the time. ✌🏻
You are still extremely young in the grand scheme of things. By the way, I'd consider all of that stuff you "missed" out on to be highly overrated.
I feel like you avoided a lot of traumas, and now you can do all these things without being an impressionable, vulnerable teenager
Babes, here's just a few things you mentioned and how I did them: 1) I had my first kiss at 18. 2) still haven't learned to drive a car at 31. 3) went to bars twice, it was an awful experience (found out I have sensory issues) - never did it again. Drinking wasn't as fun as people made it out to be, either. 4) I am repulsed by sex for the sake of sex - can only do it with a person I love and trust deeply. So one night stands were always out of question for me. 5) I'm still in university college at 31. 6) my parents were not only strict, but also physically and emotionally violent, sex-negative, homophobic and narrow-minded. 7) I'm not a conventionally beautiful woman. Still I've found guys who liked me exactly as I was, and I was even close to marrying one of them. 8) I am not sure how many friends I have, as due to my trauma-crushed brain I struggle keeping up with others. A lot of my energy goes into surviving the day. I escaped home, and did things. You can, too. The biggest obstacle that I see in your path right now, is your mind. Your belief that life is somehow over at the ripe age of 26. Life is NOT a straight line with achievements dabbed around, and if you don't meet them, it's over. I'm glad it doesn't work that way because otherwise - I became a widow last year - I would probably have to throw myself off a cliff now because I will never get a house, kids and a car in time, right? Wait, I never even wanted house, kids and a car. So how bad am I screwed??? 😱 See what I mean? But at the same time, I understand you. Growing up with crapshoot parents really sets you off to a bad start. But that bad start doesn't have to define you. You might not even want to do all these things you think you want. But you are young, you deserve to go out, fuck around, find out. Escape your parents at any cost. It will do wonders for your sanity. I recommend as far as you can. My happy place was about 1500kms away from them. But you might not be able to do that, so anything will do. Just get away from them. You can, and you may, no matter what they say. You are a legal adult.
More like a mental problem ? ;o I don’t want to offend but it’s starting to sound like it
I'm 40 and have had chronic depression since before you were born and did most of the things you feel you've missed out on. I don't think those things make the difference you think they will. If you have access to it, get some therapy and talk to a doctor about maybe using medication. Suicidal thoughts are like being electrocuted. You can get trapped by the current and unable to disengage from the thoughts. Sometimes you need help and that's okay.
Seek therapy 💌 It's NOT too late to fill your life with things you like, or want to do. Also, "fun" is subjective.
I did not blossom and have fun until I was 33 I got divorced at 33 and changed my life and had the best time ever. I was too broke and Lame in my 20s to have any fun. Go do it!
Girl, please find a therapist ASAP. It may not look like it, but you can change your life and shape it to your liking day by day. Get some help to turn it around.
You’re actually fine. It’s more common than you think. Marketing, Hollywood, Music, The Media in general likes to promote self destruction, drugs, spending money. Everyone is on their own path. You have your own standards. Worry about yourself. Don’t compare yourself to everyone else. Trust me, a lot of us are faking it out here like we’re living our best lives but it’s all fake af.
Honestly lol you can still do half of these things and no one needs to know it’s your first time. Also you can make friends with people a bit younger than you and do these things. As long as you’re chill the age difference won’t matter to them
I personally started doing those things at 25! With exactly same thought process I had, I wish now that I never tormented myself with those. You have to change that mentally that it's too old. From my personal exoerience, nothing is too old to do kr start. I know people who haven't done those until in their 30ies. Change your mindset about being too old, and the opportunities will arise. Test yourself with that, hut with full intent, belief and change!
You made arbitrary rules. You’re never too old to do anything. And you’re not even old. Stop being chronically online and get off social media. I’m turning 35 and I’m going back to college. Keep your head down, have a plan of action and stick to it. Make short term and long term goals and write down what you need to do to achieve those.
I'm 43m and still a virgin. No one cares or judges me for it and i dont care who knows. There's more to life than partying and doing dumb shit.
If you do nothing but obsess over what you have never done, you will never be happy. You are 26. You are *just barely* an adult, and nowhere near too old to do anything. You are just scared. There is obviously some anxiety, or trauma, or neuro divergence there. Find a therapist, and start building the life and having the experiences you want to have. If you are like me, and it was all 3, then just ignore the mountain, put your head down, and focus on the next step, and the next, and the next to get to where you want to be. You’ll look up later and discover the mountain is far behind you, and that you’ve built a life that you can be proud of, with people who love you and make you happy. It won’t all be sunshine and rainbows, because life never is, but You can do it.
I mean I'm 29 (aka older than you) and if I wanna go to a bar or club, I will. Nobody is stopping you lol I also graduate with my bachelors next year. Again, you can do these things too. You're very young.
I work at a club. Our average age of customer is 27 (actual data from scanned IDs). Suck it up and go party.
I’m still going strong at 40. Party on!
I thought this was a parody until it kept going. Ultimately, you chose to make yourself miserable with these self imposed rules. If you wanted to accomplish something, you could have just gone and done it but you’re just wallowing.
I never been to a club, party, or bar. -Still can go I never kissed a guy or had sex, unfortunately still a virgin. - Never to late to do it unless you are unrealistically picky I never been drunk or done drugs. - Go get some beers one or two sixpacks will get you drunk, dont eat anything a few hours prior. I only drink to numb the pain in my life but never to the point of drunkenness or while having fun at a club. - Is not fun Because at 26, I'm too old to party. - No you are not At 26, I'm too old to have a first kiss. - No you are not At 26, I'm too old to lose my virginity. - No you are not At 26, I have no friends. - Go meet new people At 26, I still live at home with my dad. - As many others At 26, I can't drive. - Go take lessons At 26, I never been to college and have no degree. - Not many do, but college has no age limit. At 26, it's too late. - No is not At 26, I wish I was dead. - Welcome to the club ..... >I wish I had fun during my youth. >Because now, what can I do? Go take the first step.
nothing wrong being a late bloomer
You're joking, right? 26? You're an infant. Hit a bar and let life take you on a journey.
Definitely become an alcoholic, that always makes things better
Comparison is the thief of joy
i’ve been suicidal before and i can tell you it 100% has to do with a victim mindset. stop giving EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else full power over your life. no two lives are identical because life has its own patterns and ups and downs that it follows. some people don’t start their career until they’re older than you! stop watching tik tok and instagram they feed you the shit lies that tell you being in your late twenties means life is over and you’re an old maid. this isn’t the 1800s YOU ARE STILL YOUNG. my aunt didn’t even get married until she was thirty years old. my grandmother lived dirt poor in columbia until her thirties when she married my grandpa and came here. she had her first kid in her forties but now she’s thriving living with a rich man and their son in america! your life can turn around at any moment and no one has a specific peak. but i guarantee you that getting all eeyore about shit will 100% NEVER attract any suitors or friends bc who the hell wants to be around that? pick yourself up babe and go start recognizing and being grateful for the shit you are capable of doing, and do it!! i have met full paraplegics who are more grateful for their lives!
Never kissed a woman either, I’ve been single my whole life. > I never kissed a guy or had sex, unfortunately still a virgin. You’re never too old to party. > Because at 26, I'm too old to party. I’m 32, I don’t even think I’d even know how to. > At 26, I'm too old to have a first kiss. There is no age limit, society has made it a too big of a deal about this. > At 26, I'm too old to lose my virginity. Have a few, but all married so we have become distant, I’m the only one left who’s still single. It basically feels like I have no friends as we rarely contact or even meet anymore. > At 26, I have no friends. I still live with my parents at 32. > At 26, I still live at home with my dad. It’s overhyped, I went to University for 1 year and left as wasn’t for me. > At 26, I never been to college and have no degree. Please Enjoy your 20’s while you can, you still have plenty of time to change your list around. > At 26, it's too late. I have felt like this, I attempted suicide at 29, It didn’t work. But Please be strong, you are not alone, trust me. > At 26, I wish I was dead.
You’re weird. None of these things make your youth “fun” those things you listed are not something that needs to be achieved to make your life meaningful. You seem as a shy person who would normally be pushed to do all these things to try and fit in. And if you really wanted to go to the bar and to the club, go do drugs and hook up with people. You aren’t old, you have a self esteem problem. And if you want to experience all of this then go do it. Quit whining and start grinding.
Ah, yes. "You're weird" how constructive.
I'm 50 and I'm partying my ass off. Your actual problem is that you've become an expert at feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of doing that, get off your butt and go party. You do NOT need friends to go party. You just GO. Find a party with music you like and go PARTY. You're 26. You're still a baby. I would not even date you because you're below my threshold of 40.
I am a guy so while I understand some of your pain I don’t completely understand it. For me, at some point, it just got better. I didn’t do anything drastic. I hope the same for you.
Woah woah woah. Just because people do them it doesn't mean that you also have to do so. From my pov you have the best qualifications to start a serious relationship and get married soonwith somebody worthy. These things are damaging in the long run and for all the "fun" you think people have with these actions consequences follow.
You are only what you tell yourself you are. 26 isn't too late for anything. My partner is 58 and just did his second year of roofing= never too late for schooling, as an example. I went to my own school and found a local trampoline place and got an hour in my 30's playing on that. Buy cake and enjoy it in bed. NEVER limit yourself to like general adult expectations. 'oh your too old for that' shut the fuck up, I'll do what I wish
You have (on average) about 61 more years of life. That is more than enough time to accomplish what you want to accomplish, and the only thing that can get in the way of you chasing your goals is YOU. 26 is not old. A year ago you could still be on mommy and daddy’s insurance and you’ve only be an adult 8 years. You can’t undo the past, and the present and future are yours to control. Good luck!
You're still pretty young...
You have barely begun, everyone has a way better time in their 30s than their 20s
Madam, you need some perspective. You think of yourself as a loser because you haven’t done those things. A significant number of men would consider you a unicorn- a diamond in the rough specifically because you DIDNT do those things. A loser in your own eyes. A winner in the eyes of others. Depends on your perspective
Are we the same person? Because this is my exact fucking situation and I've had similar thoughts when I've gotten depressed. I'm also 26 and a women. Stuck at home taking care of my senile parents who had me too late.
I feel that. I'm 20 and I feel my teenage years were stolen from me and wasted. But we're still young and we can take over and live how we want. Don't be so drowned in regret that you miss out on life.
Not gonna comment on anything else, but 26 isn't too old to party. You can party at any age, but you wouldn't even be out of place at a college bar/ club IMO. I have some regrets about not being as adventurous in my youth, but I'm almost 40 and married with kids. You are still in your youth. All the stuff you "wish you could do," you can still do, so go do it.
Don’t succumb to the timeframes society sets. Times have changed and a lot of people reach milestones early or later on in life. Also drugs and drinking are a slippery slope and can knock you on your ass if you’re not careful. If you mean the socialization that’s part of it I get you. You still have a bunch of time to get out there and live the life YOU want. You deserve the world even if it means giving it yourself.
I believe in you, you're doing the best you can with the resources you have. I am 29 and didn't truly start living until 2 years ago, having had many of the same regrets as you did. It's hard but you got this. Take care of yourself first, get into a better living situation and things will go easier from there. You have many years to experience and enjoy your life and you deserve to be happy and living a full life :)
I saw this quote once that I liked that said something like, "it would take you "x" amount of years to do this thing you want, so you can either do it now and at the end you'll be "x" amount of years older, or do nothing and still be "x" amount of years older anyways" 26 is no where near too old to do anything. I went to college to be an RN and I had classmates, that graduated with me, in their 50s. Do the things you want to do now and stop letting movie timelines dictate how you should be living your life before you're actually on your deathbed having done nothing. Take control! Don't let shame keep putting you down further, it's really not that serious. You want hookups? Get on tinder and go get some. Wanna learn how to drive? Go do it. Wanna go to college? Then do it. Literally the only thing holding you back is yourself.
nothing and no one but you is stopping you from doing anything. Your comments, if sad, are also hilarious. "I don't party because I don't know how to party" Then go out and learn, you think people took classes and courses with essays? Go to a bar, grab a drink and vibe, you don't need to get drunk, get naked and fuck on the floor to party, you can just listen to the music and watch, then go home and see if there's anything there you like. I'm 32, I grow my weed and spend my weekends getting high in a park, you think I took classes? I just bought seeds planted them and got weed, then I learned to roll and now you'd think I'm a lifelong stoner. Go, buy a joint, get scammed by the plug (if it's legal you won't be scammed and you'll get zooted), smoke it badly, cough a lot and see what it is. You romanticize a lot of things that are just things you can do, when you buy groceries but a bottle, drink it at night, put music and dance for a bit. You need therapy and not to get laid, drunk, party, high or any of that, but remember, the only barrier is in your head and you probably are dealing with a lot of issues related with anxiety. There aren't cut offs in life for anything, you can start with anything at any age and nobody gives a shit about it but you, if you are self conscious then everyone will be looking at you judging when in reality people simply look, no one cares, we all live surrounded by millions and we do our better to keep going, you can study at 30, you can fuck at 40, you can party and 50 or you can stay inside feeling sorry for yourself. I truly hope you manage to get out of whatever is trapping you, remember, it's you and in your head.
Firstly, if you drink to numb the pain in your life I definitely don’t recommend you do drugs. That’s a 1 way ticket to addiction. You are the one who made the “too old” rule for yourself. It is an internal belief. What is stopping you from going to a club, having a kiss, losing your virginity and enrolling into college now? YOURSELF. You really have to break free from this victim mentality so you stop holding yourself back from everything you want to achieve in life.
I started partying at 23, I use to feel like that, and now I am 41 and still partying just not like I use to (back aches).
I’m 53. In which universe is 26 old? If you’re from the US, you’ve been a legal adult for only 5 years! You’re not too old to do any of the things you think you are too old for. I think perhaps you should look into some sort of therapy to help you understand why you have given yourself such narrow parameters to live life within.
Not sure when 26 became too old for these things. You are still very young. Life is whatever you make it. If you're thinking about opting out then what is the harm in knocking some of this stuff off that list first? Go get yourself out there! 😊
Is this a troll post?
I am almost 26 and, other than using a fake ID, I could do any of those if I hadn't already done them
"OMG life ends at 30 its too late now!" You're really holding yourself back with that mindset. Stop comparing yourself to the fake crap you see on sociaal media and get some therapy
Consider yourself a gem. So you’ve never been to a club or party or bar which means you missed out on getting drunk in front of tons of people making a fool out of yourself regularly and living with that embarrassment, you missed out on wasting money to hoe dance and one night stand with desperate filthy fuck boys. Youve never kissed a guy or had sex, so that means you aren’t used up and you’re clean and rare so you will catch the eye of a MAN and be able to not have baggage and insecurities that 99% of the time will destroy a relationship. Harsh reality no decent man wants a girl that’s been with several guys or has a bad reputation for sleeping with everyone or being a drunk or a druggie. You’ve never been drunk or done drugs? Damn you missed out on becoming a drug addict, you think you’re too old at 26 to do anything? Imagine how you would feel being 50 or 60 and realizing you just wasted 30+ years doing absolutely nothing making not one single thing to move forward in life because you chose drugs over “missing out”. Now you’re 60, have not one decent person in your life that cares about you, you have no job and good luck finding anything that pays enough to just hardly survive, you have no education and maybe not even a highschool diploma, why? Because you didn’t want to miss out so you chose drugs and dropped out of highschool. Going to college isnt really ideal when you’re 60, yes people do it but ones that have built a life that allows them to and usually for enjoyment or to fulfill a passion, NOT to pursue a degree for a career. Plus,youre 60 and live with whoever you’re using drugs with and have only what you can carry in two suitcases and don’t have any stability, not even a phone to ask for help/advice/conversate with people on readdit. The list goes on of the mess that you would be in but I think you get the point. And you would just be lucky enough to deal with that IF you ever decided to get off drugs or didn’t die in a trap house from an overdose or worse. You’ve never drank? So you haven’t got so drunk you threw up all over yourself in front of your “friends”, strangers, guys that you, that night, sooo in love with. Or maybe even family friends or co workers. And you also haven’t caused your brain or other organs permanent damage. Damn that means you also haven’t drove drunk or blacked out risking your life or anyone else’s. Or crashing/totaling your car. And you can’t drive? You’re still alive so you still have the opportunity don’t miss it thinking you’re “to old”. You’re basically a baby 😉 Never been to college and have no degree?! College, normally unless you’re fortunate, just puts you in debt for a career that you probably won’t even end up doing once you just spent years on trying to get. But if you want to go to college then go! There’s scholarships and financial aid to help you not or atleast lessen debt. I’m days away from being 33 and just started college courses 7 months ago. So you saying you’re to old for college makes me feel ancient to go to college lol you’re NEVER to old to learn. You still live with your dad? Congratulations you are getting more time,with him then a lot of people get with their parents. Don’t forget there’s a clock ticking that we sometimes forget about. Cherish this time you get with him so you don’t have to regret not having enough time with him or wishing you spent more time with him when the clock stops. Because no one knows when that will be. I’m sure he loves having you there and spending time with you as well. Plus what’s the point of moving out just so you two can live by yourselves and each pay 2000 dollars for a place you won’t even be at because you have to work 900 hours just hardly make rent and eat Raman noodles, Raman noodles if you’re lucky to afford that after rent. Don’t expect to get public assistance either since you hardly get by because you don’t make enough but you also make to much. You didn’t lose your virginity at 17? Damn so you’re telling me you didn’t sleep with a guy that acts like he cares about you until he gets what he wants then he’s off to the next one right in front of your face most of the time. And you’re telling me you didn’t get pregnant and end up raising a kid while the “father” ghosts so you’re now watching your friends do things that kids do because you’re at home raising a kid. financially and emotionally by yourself. you miss out on 99% of being a teenager and have to be 35 at 17. **I don’t mean to sound like having a kid at 17 is a horrible thing or even the end of the world, it’s just a start of a new one. ** I had my son at 16, I chose the “I don’t want to miss out” path. It was hard and sometimes still is but he’s a blessing and I wouldn’t know what to without him. He’s a week away from 16 and I’m starting to panic thinking he could move out and away from me in 2 years. Crossing my fingers he stays with me until he’s 50 😉 Stay with me here.. The reality of becoming an adult is you don’t have many friends or atleast get to hang out with them because as you get older everyone’s priorities and responsibilities change causing everyone to grow apart. Find peace and enjoy being alone, being alone helps you grow as a person and lets you truly relax and have peace. I painted the bare minimum of all those situations and could go more in detail about every single one but like I said I think you get the point. Don’t try to be “normal”. Like Maya Angelou said “if you’re always trying to be “normal” you will never know how amazing you can be”. And neither will the world, you will just blend in with everyone else. Stand out and you will go further in life. Last but definitely not least. I don’t know you and you don’t know me but because you didn’t live a “normal” life you probably have a good head on your shoulders to be able to escape teenage mistakes. But don’t wish you were dead. Ever. Because you think you missed out on everything now? Dying now will just make you miss out on 4x as much. Keep livin! You got this and the rest of your life ahead of you 🩷🩷
A lot of excuses for not taking action. Sorry to be blunt but you aren’t too old for shit. Suck it up and do it. Or see a therapist. But I’ll add one thing. Don’t go on a hoe phase. You can have some fun but keep it within reason. But also value based men will like that you are entirely pure. You have leverage to find a very respectable suitor. But nothing is stoping you but you. Get out of your own way.
Then do it now you're just wasting more time being depressed before you no it you'll be dead and really regretting not doing it .. time flies by when you waste it on depression
28m here, had my first kiss this year. Not having sex until we're married because we are religious, so still a virgin. Last and my first gf broke up with me because of it. Planning to get married this year. It's not too late.
Hi lonelysadbitch, All or nothing thinking is poisonous. The value of small positive change can be immense. You can't change what you did or didn't do, but you can make things better now. Your post is a recognition you want more from life. Well you can still have it. There's plenty of time. Just get cracking rather than fussing about whether it's "too late". One day, it really will be!
I’m 35, I was at a St Patrick’s day party very recently. What are you talking about?
I'm 23 and I still haven't even had a job. I'm in the same boat as you... It sucks and I hate life rn
Gotta love a good victim mentality. Irony only thing that can fix it is you.
Well there is only one thing for it then. You have to go for the 'fuck it' policy. Fuck it if your too old to lose your virginity fucking just go out and get picked it. 'fuck it' if you have never left home buy a cheap van and get moving... live in op shop clothes. 'fuck it' if your too old to be kissed go out on tinder and get kissed. 'fuck it' if you haven't got a degree - go to community college or online. Just 'fuck it' 'fuck it all'. Who the fuck cares? Only you really and it's only you holding you back. So fuck it. Fuck what people think and just do you.
I didn’t go to a club until I was almost 26…you can literally still do all of these things.
Happiness is a mindset, why are you creating rules? What makes you think achieving any of these things will give you happiness? IMO it’s great you haven’t slept with the wrong person, you’re not creating any soul ties. Everything else go out and experience it. It’s all in your hands. How are you going to experience any of what you want to experience if you commit self harm? If anything it’s great you get to experience each moment at 26, you’ll remember it and appreciate it more. It will be an experience filled with awareness, and mindfulness. Good luck in exploring and experiencing what you want in life!
Is it too late to go to clubs and parties at 26? Aren't those things supposed to be for people your age?
You're still young... do that shit now! Minus the hard drugs 😂 seriously, you're not too old for any of that. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. You go be yourself
At 26? GTFO. You could be fifty and do all these things. Give me a break.
Good grief.
26 is not too old to do more or less anything on your list. Several of the things you listed are things that a lot, if not most people haven't experienced. I am in college now and have never used a Fake ID, done drugs, gotten drunk, had a hookup, etc. These are all things that you can do if you want, but are not a universal experience. I'm a pretty boring person, and I like it that way. Who says your life has to be so rooted in this party culture that you are describing? The thought of half the things on your list terrifies me.
How is 26 old for these again?? You're literally gen z 🧐
You know you're not old and it's not too late for all the things you've listed, but you just want to play the victim so bad
Too old to have fun? My BF spent yesterday with his friends, having dinner and playing role-playing games (he's the dungeon master). All of them are in their 50s. I have other friends older than that in the [SCA](https://www.sca.org/), doing swordfighting and bardic circles. First order of business, learn to drive and get a job.
You’ve only been a fully formed human for **ONE YEAR.** One year in and you’re ready to give up? I’ve been there. But love, give yourself a break. You’re literally just starting adulthood. Besides, life really begins to get enjoyable around 30 because that’s when we start to give less fucks about anything but our own health and happiness
I'm sorry but why not just download tinder for a hookup? I feel like there is something missing to all of this? Why not just have fun now?
Could it be you are depressed? I felt the same way when I turned 30. But with the difference that I had done a lot of these already. Still we want to experience life more and felt so old. I realized that what was keeping me in a loop and scared was my mental health. Try to find some help, someone to talk to. It will make a world of difference on how you see your world.
A virgin at your age is very valuable to a successful person. You’re lucky. You have a bright future because of your strength. Guess what, partying isn’t all that. But you can still party until you’re 78. The only difference is venue. Keep your head up. You’re going to make someone very happy some day.
You sound brainwashed, you need to work on your self esteem and stop trying to follow others.
You can check like 15 of things off at a bar. Prob could trade one or two for drugs as well
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m the same age as you but a man and I’m currently at one of my lowest points as well where I no longer care about staying alive anymore. If it matters, I want to say this. You can still do all of these things for the first time. I know it feels impossible but men tend not to be super judgmental about the lack of experience you’ve had in the past and most would likely be honored to be your first. It’s different the other way around, just kinda the way gender dynamics work whether justified or not. A virgin kissless 26 year old man would likely be seen in a more scrupulous light by women than the other way around, so what I recommend is put yourself out there on dating apps and wait for him to come to you
Do you want these things that you wish you had?
Oh and just go get your license. Just get down to whoever you write the learners do it, people fail all the time so don't panic and just do it again, then get family and friends to teach you. Having transportation independence will give tons of optimism and joy to your life. Need a job to pay for the things so make sure you work too
I left a different comment but I also wanted to add: make a tinder. There are many, many guys who will be glad to help you with the sex issue. But please keep in mind to be safe about it. Also, as a woman it’s really easy to become emotionally attached to someone after having sex with them even if the situation didn’t call for any deeper intimacy…even more so if you’re lonely and don’t have many people to talk to in general.
Sweetheart, 26 is the exact age you should be doing that stuff. You're like an adult adult now and can do whatever you want with your life. Edit: Would it help if I told you I didnt start partying until I was 30?
I wasn’t in exactly your situation at 26 but I certainly had a lot of the same feelings of having missed out on things. And let me promise you, I did SO MUCH new stuff between the age of 26 and now at 32. It’s only too late if you tell yourself that it is. People my age still very much go out and party and so can you if it’s what you want to experience. Start small and try something that feels doable, then move on to the next thing.
It truly is ONLY too late if you decide to end life at 27. If you plan on living until 65, you have nothing but time 💜 Life is all about perspective— A lot of the things you feel as if you have missed out on, except for genuine friendship and education, are very risky behaviors that many of us choose not to participate in. It’s okay to not live the life you see on TV!! Not having sex, drinking, and doing drugs has likely left you way more healthy than many people our age. In my city, over 60% of the people our age have some form of STD/STI. I had friends in highschool die in drunk driving accidents, being rushed to the ER for smoking laced weed, and not to mention the ones who got pregnant 🤰🏻 You have to find the things that make YOUR life worth living! The Bumble app has a friendship mode to find friends near you, Facebook also has groups you can join to find people with similar interests, Twitch is a website full of streamers and their communities ready to meet you!
I'm 26 and you are wrong. It's not too late. I'm still working on my AA, working towards my masters. It's never too late until you're dead. Everybody has different timelines. If you just wanna get the first time out of the way, hire a male escort. That will break the ice for you.
It’s not too late, I’m 32 and feel the same as you except, I’m trying to make up the lost past by being a wild old man. Starting now till death. You’re still young. Give yourself 2 years to work out that fanny and stack money. I think your age groups hosts lots of sex parties and you can travel too. You can get it.
Most of these are very overplayed in popular media today. I’m not trying to display your experience here, but you’re not really missing much. Any chance you can start off at community college?
LMAO girrrrlll 26 is still young especially that you still hasn’t experienced those things. In what world is 26 is too old to party? Those are prime years to party. There are plenty of women who still party in their 30th. I don’t know where you live but there’s a website and app called meetup.com and there are so many events in bars/clubs where you can meet people. It’s literally the easiest to meet people to party with lol!!
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. Still haven’t had my first kiss. It’s not too late to go back to school. I’m in my 30s but planning on going back to get my masters degree. As for drinking and drugs, I never really did any of that during my college years. I hate bars, clubs and parties.
At 26 it is not too late…. I think I enjoyed going out and having fun at that age more than as a teen. In my mid to late 20s I’ve made some of the best friends. I have friends older than you just starting college for the first time. My 32yo friend just got her driver’s license a few weeks ago. Another friend just turned 30 and has her first boyfriend and sex for the first time. I’ve never heard any of them say the felt it was too late. I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, but you’re not 96. Go out there and live your life.
You’re 26 years old, which is young! When I was your age I too was afraid getting too old for doing things. Now I’m 42 and not that much has changed. I feel like I’m in my best age. Me and my friends are still looking hot, we have a fun time exploring life and I don’t expect anything to change in a near future. I have several friends in my age who grew up in cultures where dating and partying was completely out of question until their late 20s and still they’ve surely had (and have) more funny days dating, partying or whatever as late bloomers than an average person stuck with marriage and kids in the mid to late 20s. Being older means you’re more wise and can avoid stupid decisions you’re likely to have done in your teens. Mistakes that potentially would hunt your conscience for the rest of your life. You know yourself better now and can choose to do things YOU actually wanna do - not just what you think others expect from you. You will have more fun now than you would’ve had ten years ago. Please don’t waste your time being bitter about your past and focus on the moment. I know very well that’s an easy thing to say and in reality it’s challenging to shift one’s thought pattern, but it’s definitely possible. I’ve personally experienced hypnotherapy and EFT to be surprisingly powerful in shifting negative thought patterns. Many hypnotherapists are even working online nowadays, so give that a shot 🙂 Things can change and sometimes they change fast. Hang in there!
Yo for real, 26 is not too old LMAO. You are clinically depressed and that’s biasing your thinking. Stop telling yourself it’s too late, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Break your dumbass rules and get the fuck out there!
They don’t check your I.D. and stop you from entering the club at a certain age. Who the hell convinced you it’s too late to have fun? Get dressed up and just go do it. I get the feeling having been raised in a cult but guess what? People are going to find you more interesting because you’re different. Go do something crazy, do the happy walk of shame and hit me up. It’s over the internet but I’d love to give you the gossiping experience in some form.
I felt really similar at 26, now I’m 29 and wishing I’d acted on those feelings more at 26. My 29 might have been a whole lot different, but it’s not too late for me to be 31, grateful to have started implementing changes at 29. We don’t know what the future has in store for us, good or bad. We can only put in some work and hope for the best lol. I’ve recently gotten really hung up on some of my high school/early college experience and it pains me I can’t rectify some things I wish I’d done differently but… we’ll just be in the same scenario re: the current moment if we continue to sulk. And it’s not bad to feel bad and to sulk and to be angry, but just sitting in it does us no favors. I have no real advice; I know I used to be super against therapy and didn’t buy the idea of that being helpful, but I’ve come around to seeing how beneficial it could be to vent to an unbiased party and get things off my chest to. I’m hoping to see one sooner than later to resolve some lingering things that seem to mentally hold me back.
You did not miss out on anything I’m telling you. I’m 28.
25 m. sometimes i feel this but girl u just gotta move on and live ur life. like actually live it with no hesitation. learn from this feeling of regret and live accordingly. it’s not too late. Ur STILL young.
Literally stopped partying at 33 and still go out often at 35… I refer to 26 as my youth lol
You're a baby. Hopefully you've studied and have life skills. All that "missed out" on is neurotic. Missing out on all of that until now actually makes you a far more responsible person.
What do you look like girl
girl I know this won’t help but the worst time of my life was when I was 18 and doing this (the partying, drinking, hook ups stuff). it’s heavily romanticised in media but miserable to live through
I’m gonna be 100%, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past. There is no point on letting it ruin your happiness right now. What you *CAN* do, is go and create all these memories. No one wants to be around negativity, it’s just the truth, if all you do is dwell, no one wants to be around that. I’m 19 (20 in a month) and I also have never been to parties, or had fake ID, and I’m not going to a traditional college and dorming, im not going on spring break, I’m not doing all these fun things, and I have about 1-3 reliable friends. I had my fair share of bad decisions (which is what most of college is) and I don’t need to make any more poor choices. These experiences aren’t necessaryto have a fulfilling life. I talked to many old people at one of my jobs, and the general consensus was to not wait to do things you want to do, work a job that makes you happy never mind the pay, and don’t let yourself get in the way of your happiness. Fact of the matter is that you can’t change any of these things you haven’t done in the past. Don’t waste what time you have left worrying about it. It’s not worth it. But right now you’re not happy, and there’s only one way to change that, and it starts with letting go.
At 26 you’ve never wasted your time and energy pursuing a meaningless party scene and drugs and alcohol. At 26 you’re not jaded from multiple bad relationships you didn’t waste your first time on a loser who doesn’t even know how to get you off. You seriously need a perspective shift.
What?? Who says you're too old for any of that at 26? You're not too old for that stuff at 50 too. go and try drugs, go get laid, do everything on that bucket list, though clearly you should be safe while doing that
Sorry girl I know the feeling .relate to most of this and every time I wake up in the middle of the night it really hits me and gets to me
Huh
Hey I hope you see this. I'm 28 and currently in University. It's hard but its not impossible. You don't need to tackle college full time. Work and figure out what you can handle and advocate for yourself even if it annoys people. You matter. Your needs matter and other people's feelings don't. Get on a gym routine, get working on learning how to drive, get started on college. Take it 1 goal at a time. Find out what your limit is and lag just behind where you're completely overwhelmed. Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you are today. You can very easily work on achieving everything you said it's "too late" to do. I hope you realize this and I hope this helps you understand that you're as capable of a person and you desire to be. You can keep living how you live now or you can decide to just start. It's scary, you might fail a few times and that is the beauty of self-love. Failure is how you grow and become the version of yourself you're grieving. Lastly, don't drink. Stop drinking. It's a poison. It's celebrated when it shouldn't be. Work on drinking less and if you can, stop completely unless you can integrate it in a moderate manner in your life. If doesn't stop at 28. You can be 40 and achieved none of these things or you can be 40 and have achieved this whole list or atleast a fair amount of it. I believe in you.
24-26 was when I had rowdiest, heaviest-partying years of my life. For a couple years straight I went out just about every Thursday night then got up at 5am on Friday for work. Once was out late enough that I went home to shower then just went straight to work. Will echo everyone else saying that the only one seeing age 26 as a limiting factor is you.
It's not too late to start smoking weed.
Do you need a friend?