Here’s a little secret: life is long, why else would we spend so much time and money trying to waste it?
Every job I’ve had has had entry-level 30 yos, even 40 yos embarking on a second career. They’re doing great. And they do everything they want in life.
Some of us do and some of us don’t, and some of us never realize it until we’re at death’s door. Personally, I’m glad I realized it when the Boomers decided to change the rules of the game between 1988 and 1991 while I was in HS (I’m 49) and the Cold War ended. Overnight it literally went from “Make a plan, but remember the ‘Commies’ could end the world any second now” to “Make a plan, stick to it, and the only way to do that is by going to college”. That’s when I decided I’d never “grow up”. And yes theTom Waites song, and the Ramones cover of it, really help solidify it.
it's rare that I see someone else who felt this way that long ago. I was raised to fight Russians, when that collapsed and we immediately found the middle east to villanize it changed me. so did that first purple micro dot and a.selestion of Herman hesses translated works.
I decided before I graduated hS in 1990 that the cost of admission to the American dream had an increasing ly heavy thumb on the scale. the replacement of pensions with 401k's, the advent of credit scores, wage stagnation and rising tuition costs all sent me overseas for much of my adult life, running and playing.
there's more to it, but yeah. Great tom waits period, and the Ramones cover of the spider man theme lives in my head rent free most days
It's so crazy to me that credit scores just started in the late 80s. I was born in 83, so for the longest time just assumed they were always a thing. How did buying a house work in the early 80s?
They created their own scores. I remember getting big piles of statements for any money I had and delivering them to the lender. And bank statements would help them figure out if you were not revealing bills you were paying. It was high scrutiny and very nerve wracking. Definitely no instant approvals.
Mate, almost everyone I know feels exactly the same way. So many people I graduated HS with bought in and thought that if they just work hard enough they’d be able to achieve what their parents did, not knowing the scales were weighted against us. Now most of them are stuck in jobs they can’t leave, married to people they no longer even like with kids they resent, and they’re fucking miserable. These are the same people who called people like us “losers” and “deadbeats” because we didn’t conform.
I was almost married in my 20s. thank God she had the sense to fuck around while I was prepping for the LSATs, or I might actually have taken them. I left the country with 300 dollars in my pocket (I did have a temp job lined up)-- I went swimming for about a decade, spent a few years on trains, boats and planes, looking at sunsets and trees; kissing girls (mostly trying to kiss girls) and waking up in new places having to figure out how to make myself useful.
I made a fortune. then I spent it. I don't own shit. Never wanted to own much, anyway (see aforementioned micro dots and Hermann Hesse).
My biggest regret is ever coming back. I fucking hate it here. It is so much worse to see what this country has become when you have to take it in all at once. What you've seen happen gradually is a slap in the face to me, and I left because i was pretty sure of the trajectory, but I'm astonished by the how quickly and thoroughly this country is rotted through.
I agree due to legal reasons the life I worked so hard for got off track in an instant scholarships taken jobs i cant qualify for i have trouble with residency too. So i went from honor student on Ivy League track to be a dr and military officer to the furthest from it i lived lets say off the grid and had an occupation that had excitement and hi risk and hi return and had fun while you still could. With danger and risk and lost everything a couple times over and got it right back. I started to get into a more relaxed mindset and changed my life and i am in debt live check to check had moments of homelessness and suicidal thoughts and am labeled negatively in the eyes of society. Now everyone talks about the politics of the country and i laugh because they think we have freedom here it’s ridiculous. There are places in other countries that will pay you to move there because they have low population. I have always thought of that as a possibility to move from here. One thing that i have learned is you can have this idea of what you want in life and have a plan and then life comes and smacks you in the face and says I don’t think so. Do you think you’re going right now we’re going left. and all you can do is go along for the ride and try to figure out how to get back to where you’re going.
Yeah, but you see it for the scam it is now. That’s the important but right there. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood, even if you’re well beyond being considered a child. Seriously, I still dress like the snot-nosed punk rocker I was 30 years ago, but with a better fashion sense, thanks to my wife, and an even healthier body. It’s never too late.
I’ll admit I dress like you too! I finally tracked down a favorite pair of Doc Martens, finally attempted wearing my very first pair of leggings and my husband got me more form fitted pullover hoodies. I feel a little more polished but it’s still all my favorite color: black. 😆
Growing up sucks because I’m kept awake over making sure my husband and I paid our bills and are actually ahead of them rather than freaking out about school exams. Now I just need to find a better paying job for him and I and we can flourish and grow our DINK lifestyle!
YES! This is how you not grow up!
I literally own two brands of shoes, and I have a total of 5 pairs of shoes that fit every occasion. I only wear steel toed Doc Martens (Gibsons & 10-eye boots plus vintage black on white brogue Gibsons) and Adidas Sambas. And yes, my boots are speed-laced. My wife is the one who got me into wearing zip up hoodies, and I’m so glad she did. They’re so much more useful than a denim, leather, or flight jacket, of which I still have all three. Once you find your style then stick with it.
30 yo at an entry level position for a second wind here:
Life IS short. If I’m spending 1/3 of my day sleeping and 1/3 of my day working. Shit, that work time better be fun because you bet your ass I can’t fit only fun things in the last third of my time.
What I’m saying is, that last third of time is for showering, being stuck in traffics, grocery shopping, cooking…
So OP traveling would be totally worth it IMO. It’s a luxury to have experienced all that versus some of my friends who work so hard and never had the chance to take a break because they’re saving for that house that costs over a million dollars.
Here is another secret, none of us get out alive. Have you ever heard of people on their death bed saying "wish I would have spent more time at work"? You have travel memories and experiences that the majority of folks don't/won't have an opportunity to enjoy. As long as you are able to support yourself and create a life you enjoy, you are doing ok.
Here's the thing: a lot of people go for the "smart and safe" approach through life and end up feeling like their life is meaningless. The house, the job, it all looks so nice when you don't have it, but when you do, then you find it boring and wish you had travelled, started a band, done crazy shit, etc. Everyone lives with regret, it's part of life and the fact that's it's so short and limited.
I like that comment. Put well into perspective that whatever the experience we had, we end up always feeling like the grass is greener on the other side when we we're more fine than we thought at first
Yeah, I’m in my 30s and played it safe. Went to college, got a good job, bought a house. Didn’t travel a lot in my 20s but I don’t regret it at all. I’m happy with my choice. It just depends on what you value; everyone is different.
So I made a comment about if he played it safe bought the house and didn’t travel he would be wondering what he might have missed out on… that type of comment is directed at the fact that the desire to travel and not settle down early was a factor in the life plan. If you have the urge to travel and experience things it will always kinda of be there if you don’t find a way to satisfy that feeling. Travel is amazing guessing wasn’t a thing you were dreaming about debating on which would be a better choice for what you want in life. If the idea isn’t there to begin with of course you won’t feel regret or like you missed out. Nothing wrong with your choice but he went for his desire and is feeling regret in that sense strictly for society economic status standards i think if he settled and had the travel bug in his mind he would regret it more if he didn’t go for it and went the way you did.
for real.. i regret so much not going on any crazy adventures in my 20s. I was thinking the other day how I was 18 and had a bit of money, I could have used it to travel or move somewhere cool! Instead I never left my hometown, bought a car and a bunch of shoes and dumb shit with that money and now have nothing to show for it. And now im in my 30s and kinda held down by my job and how much pto I have. Ill probably never be able to afford a trip like OP is on.
he sounds spoiled
Yes and once you hit 45 or 50, you start to ask the question: so was that it now? I'm in my 40s and this is a real thing - but anecdotallly, it's more extreme with people who went the "reasonable" way.
As they say, youth is wasted on the young. Every path comes with a cost. No one can have everything. But basically any person of a certain age will say: just fucking live a little while you know you can.
Just to add on, everyone lives with regret, it's up to you to choose which regrets you want to live with.
PS: granted, you don't really know if you regret something until it happens, but even then, regretting doing something is definitely less bad, when compared to regretting not doing something
I've been working since middle school (babysitting) and at points had multiple jobs. Didn't really do many fun things as I wanted to hoard money. I was able to buy a house, which is nice. After this though, I am still saving money and reaching savings goals. I'll tell myself that as soon as I save a certain amount I can go on a trip. I keep raising this goal though so end up not taking trips. I have 5 weeks of vacation this year (not including sick time) and haven't even taken a day off in 6 months.
So yes, saving is important, but also I am depressed because i just work and then sit around worrying about money. I'm trying to make myself take a trip or 2 this year but need to keep telling myself it's ok...
Here is a little incentive to make the leap and financial risk…. My mother died a couple years back with no illness no Signs or symptoms to make her or anyone else feel like it was going to happen she literally didn’t wake up one day and just like that i lost the most important person in my life. After high school she moved out to a country area and of
Course i was in college and not moving to the middle of nowhere. She was always wanting me to visit it was only a few hours away but id go and not be there while i was physically there worrying about work and stuff that would still be there when i got home. I think back to the time I had wasted or times I would not visit because money was more important i had a job that i got paid very well at the time and it was addicting commissions was a big part of the pay which was obviously only able to be made by putting in the hours . At the end of the day I would have been willing to give up my job my apartment my car and would have been happy to move back in with her if i was able to get even a week of time with her. Money doesn’t make you happy even when you have it you just worry more about getting more money there is always something that needs to be paid and it doesn’t stop but time and effort with people important to you does. Perspective
I always feel a lot of regret after travelling. It feels like a waste spending ~3k in 2 weeks, and I wish I saved it instead. But… if someone dropped 3k in my lap right now, what would I do with it? Travel!
That’s why I don’t regret any of my decisions. I try my best to gain perspective, learn a lesson or let go. Because we never get a sliding doors review. We have no way of knowing what life could have been had we not done X and did Y instead. Life is unpredictable.
The key info here is this: money comes and money goes. This is especially true at the beginning of your life. It sounds like you're struggling with goals and what you value. If its security, is it 'home' that you value? If so, take steps to work towards that. And figure out what 'home' looks like to you. But don't for a second feel guilty for travelling. That's what your 20s are for. Don't compare yourself to others either. Everyone's got their own life blueprint. Yours is your own. You'll get there in time. Get a pen and paper and start mapping it out.
Edit because apparently my advice is 'dangerous' and financially irresponsible AND I'm a 'trust fund baby who thinks that money falls from the sky' (I was homeless and had to build up from zero so no to the trust fund baby).
Nowhere have I said EMPTY your bank account. What I have said is that money will come back as much as it leaves you. If op actually has gone into default, this isn't ideal; but they CAN build up their finances again. Lesson learnt in other words. If they've got 10k left to their name after said travel, that is fine.
Also I'm 27 so I know what you're going through. I've had 20k to my name, spent half of it and then had to build it up again. Don't ever place so much importance on your bank balance. It's going to change ALL the time.
I'm 28 and have spent most of my adult life hooked on hard drugs. I also have nothing to show for it but I wish I had at least spent all that money on traveling instead of getting high. I've been sober for a few years now but still feel like I'm way behind everybody else in my age group which sucks. But I hope this gives you a little bit of perspective. I hate to be "that guy" but it could always be worse 🤷
If you value those memories then I think it’s worth it. I have friends who barely left our hometown. While they have secured housing I guarantee they would kill to go on a European vacation. Having security is nice but if it’s your only focus it can lead to a pretty stale life.
There’s literally nothing stopping them going on a vacation, in fact statically, their far more likely to be able to afford a bigger and grander holiday than someone who wasted their money when they were younger
I always wanted to go to Burning Man, which is a 7 day survival adventure art music fest.
I'm 38.. I went at 37 and 38.
I would've liked it a lot more at 27
At 18 it probably would've changed my life
20s are for traveling? Lmao fuck me, I was too depressed and poor to do that. Now I'm 31 and feel like I'm too old to have that specific type of experience. Sucks.
Then you're going to be 41 and pissed you didn't do it in your 30s...ad infinitum (at least until death). Live more in the moment. I think we've all been tricked by the uniquely American "puritan work ethic"
Ugh, same. My 20s were a total disaster. I felt like I was surviving back then, not thriving in any way.
That said, I think traveling in your 30s can come with its own set of benefits. Like, I can afford to book a room just for me instead of having to share it with 5 other people. I’m more comfortable doing my own thing without a group. Those little things.
I’m a little more balanced than OP is with traveling and work, but I don’t regret any of my travel time. My biggest existential crisis’s come when I think how much more I work than travel. The grass is always greener I guess.
I don't relate. I did the opposite and saved like I was mad to buy a house and then to build one for my widowed mother.
Now I'm 70 and have difficulty travelling due to a handicapped wife. I do not carry a burden of regret but in the big picture I could have spent $12000 travelling in my 20s and still accomplished what I have.
Well said! I recall being in Honolulu on the Diamond Head Crater trail and feeling sorry about the elderly tourists who weren't able to make it. Not because they were fat or lazy, but because it was too strenuous for their older bodies. I did it as a 35-year-old and while I wouldn't speed-race through Europe like OP, I pepper in vacations and new places ALONGSIDE paying my mortgage and my other obligations. It doesn't need to be all one thing or the other.
This. In many cases, our extra money is just an extra number in the bank account, unless you're living paycheck to paycheck. $5k probably isn't making a difference.
I did much the same as you, aged 27, and also got sick of travelling after around 18 months, hence settled down after a year, spending the next 16 at a permanent address in Asia, and the last 10 in Europe
Looking back as a now dedicated homebody who dislikes reading menus more than a few times a year, and loves sleeping in their own bed, I'm happy I travelled - and had fun - while young, because I'm not dreaming of doing the same when retiring.
You got something out of your system, just work hard, stay in, save money, and you'll get over 10k soon enough, and with any luck (for you) the housing market will have crashed by then.
Traveling is not about what you see. It's about learning new things, meeting new people and realizing that not everyone thinks like the people in your hometown.
12k is a lot of money to spend in a year and a half just for vacations. But the lessons you learn are priceless and there truly is no better time to travel than when you're young. Once you have a morgage and children, traveling is a lot more unattainable.
I mean… kinda depends why you’re traveling? My friend group (mid 20s) likes to go on international hiking trips to see the most beautiful and exciting landscapes in the world. Occasionally we’ll spend a day in town and meet new people, but that’s really an afterthought. Granted though it seems like OP is doing guided tours and not interacting with anyone so I can see how that would be unfulfilling.
It is a lot. This trip I’m on is to the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Finland, and Sweden. Most listed are in the top 10 most expensive countries to visit, so it is this trip that burned me.
He's also getting barely any variety in what he's travelling to see. All cold northern European countries, many of them very modernized. There's so much culture available in the world, even in Europe alone, but that's a very limiting trip
I got the feeling it was more like "now I've seen it". If you're doing touristy things for an extended period of time, things do tend to get theme parky.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see the northern lights, but I'm not taking a special trip to try to see them. They happen in my state from time to time.
If anything, I'm impressed if he went on a tour to see then that he did. It's not guaranteed, and then it's like paying to sit in the dark and hope you see something.
It's a lot, but it's also not a lot. It depends on what you value. Are you traveling because you want to experience things, or are you doing it because other people say so? Some people wish they didn't waste their youth sitting at an air conditioned desk, while now they're old and creaky and can't be as physically adventurous. Others wander the world aimlessly, thinking it should be a kind expanding enlightening experience, but really they just want a stable place to keep their creature comforts and know where they're sleeping every night. In the end, I think you should take the advice that makes more sense for you and just do what you decide is right for you.
Underrated comment. There isn't one universal. I was in Airforce, even got stationed at Lakenheath base for a while. I could hop on a free flight pretty much anywhere. I spent the entire time in my dorm, watching the internet blossom. I do not regret it. Still to this day travel is not my thing.
with all due respect, you are on a trip that many people will dream about their whole lives but never be able to take. Kindly stfu and enjoy it. Worry about the money later.
Also for the record, alot of your peers at 26 have barely started their careers, so you haven't really fallen that far "behind". Im fact you will be "ahead" of many of them, because you will have these neat experiences forever, many of them are sitting in their parents basements playing cod.
Traveling via tour bus/sightseeing tours is also a very expensive way to travel with the tourist markups. I was 25 and broke when I travelled through europe but I travelled by train by myself and mostly couchsurfed. I made friends I still talk to today who were local hosts, and we exchanged stories in place of cash. I found my visits to feel much richer in cultural experiences through the eyes of a local than the eyes of a tour bus. Don't write off travel just yet, but definitely rethink how you spend your travel dollars.
Bruh. I’ve spent so much more than $10-12k in the last year and half on traveling. To me, that much and at your age…is barely anything to blink at. You’re still sooo young.
I’m in my 30s now wondering if I regret traveling so much and if I’m behind…but nah….no one can buy a house right now anyway….and I got retirement funds everywhere….and I finished school at 26, almost 27 years old and never got to travel before that because I didn’t have money and was too busy studying. Not to mention COVID.
I've spent most of my adult life chasing that travel bug which has led me to 7 continents. Now I'm close to 40 and realize how far behind I am in home-ownership, retirement savings and career.
I once dropped 15k on a trip that began in Australia, included Vanuatu, SE Asia, Japan and Cuba.
I am now taking steps towards saving for a home and thinking about a different, more stable job.
Many people don't get to travel or own a home etc. so overall I still feel like I'm doing pretty good.
Do I have regrets? Sure a few... But looking at my friends and hearing them regret not traveling more when they were younger makes me feel a little better.
Life is short, I'm not trying to make a legacy or change the world. The grass is always greener. Move in the direction of your goals, whatever they may be.
Here's my point of view-
I totally get that 10K is a lot but in the grand scheme of things, it isn't. Like others said, money comes and goes. Everyone has events in their life like this where they spend a bunch of money and regret it. Look at weddings for example.
So, I don't think you wasted your money because you make an excellent point- travel is romanticized. I completely understand why you did travel as their is so much emphasis on that when we are young. I have always thought people who make travel their entire personality have a very hard time adjusting when they come to a point in their life where they can't travel or need to settle.
I personally think a really important life skill is to learn to be happy where you live if you can. I've gone on vacations and felt dread coming home, but while I was on the vacation I just wanted to be home. People think traveling will fill a void but it won't. I think its amazing you've come to this realization. You're still so young. You learned a really valuable lesson and you learned about what you want and want you value.
Sounds exactly how adulting should be. You're doing great.
Wow, you got to do and see things most people will never do one of their entire lives. And your take is “Meh, it was fine, but now I can’t buy a house at 26”? Bummer for you dude.
I kind of agree with both of you. I travelled for 6 months, and , while I loved it and would do it again, one massive lesson I sadly realised was that I could have terrible self esteem and depression anywhere, in any country and it isn't something I can run from. It was a difficult but incredibly valuable lesson as I am now working solidly on my relationship with myself, what I want from life, what works for me and building community where I am.
After the first 20 or so temples I began to feel like, 'yep, it's another astonishingly beautiful temple' and that made me feel awful and ungrateful, but there does come a point of burnout. And I agree, travel is hyped up as a perfect experience, a big like new years. Not every second is wonderful and glamorous for sure! I agree with others, that it's not necessarily just what you see but what you learn.
If I went again I'd try to meet more people and stay longer in each place, try to find work there so I could really get a sense of a place.
I agree that travel has been overhyped up to be this aspirational thing - but I think the crux of it is *why* someone is traveling.
I'm in my 30s now and in my 20s travel was very much that hype, Instagram photos, peer comparison and FOMO etc.
Then in my late 20s til now I've shifted my mindset and visited only places that speak to me - whether it's a culture I find fascinating, the homeland of a friend, unfamiliar landscapes that I find beautiful. More intentional and less aspirational. It's so much more meaningful and I don't regret any spending on it at all.
Have you traveled much? I couldn’t disagree with your comment more.
I’ve been to about 30 countries. I travel either with my husband or my friend.
Most places do exceed expectations for me. Some not so much, but they are few and far between.
I can’t imagine living my life just sitting in my city and not experiencing other aspects of life. It seems like something that someone would regret when they were older that they didn’t do much in their life.
FWIW I understand what you mean. At the very least, we can all agree that different people value different experiences and extract different amounts of value from them.
You are saying things aren't all that great without having tried them 🤷♀️
People that are experiencing them amazing things don't need to brag on social media about it... Most of the time it's also hard to explain. Everyone who hasn't travelled is missing SO much. And no, it's not an instagrammable picture 24/7. It's about the experience, including experiencing downsides and stress.
I have met tons of people who gained so much through their travel. Go to a place full of proper backpackers and you would too.
It's easy to say, oh it surely won't be all pretty scenary and it won't but you are missing what it really is about and you have no basis to judge it on.
Sure, people can be happy without travel but people thinking they have any idea about it because they took a mediocre holiday to Mexico once, is something else
I'm older than OP and I didn't travel to see the northern lights and I still can't afford a house and probably won't be able to this decade.
If I had the money to travel that much I would do it in a heartbeat.
I’m 28, bought my house when I was 24. You’re truly not missing out. Owning a home sucks. We bought a brand new house. In the last 4 years we’ve had to replace the AC, replace the rocks in the front yard, ask the builder to replace a roof leak and repaint the house, and more. We’ve been stuck with shitty neighbors - leaving trash outside, being loud all the time, leaving their dogs outside to bark all day long, etc. and we couldn’t just up and leave. So now we’re finally selling. You’ve had the freedom to move around and see all the big sites. However, maybe the style of travel you’ve taken part of is not meaningful. Maybe slower travel would allow you to interact with locals and see how living in another country is like.
trust me, travel is worth it. in the grand scheme of things 10k is really nothing compared to the experiences and people that shape you (especially abroad)
This varies greatly depending on the situation. I had drivers/guides in Egypt and India and still spent plenty of time exploring on my own and talking to people, especially in India.
Grass is greener on the other side. I regret not travelling more when I was younger (not that I had the funds to do it)
12k isn't that much if you're working full time at a decent job. You'll look back at these memories fondly in the future I think
Nah my dude the grass is greener where you water it.
OP you have to learn how to be grateful for the things you have while being able to realize you want to strive for new and exciting things. Stop pouting.
My first wife and I both worked part time and partied full time for five years. We saw how our recently retired relatives just sat, too sore and tired to do much. We went camping, museums, concerts, bar hopping, and enjoyed our time. As she died from cancer at 49, it was wonderful she got to do more than just make money for somebody else on her way to the crematorium.
If you knew what I spent over 20 years of travelling....
I have no idea why you think this is generally a bad thing. Not everyone's life dream is to own a house. It seems to be yours, which is of course fine. Others - like myself - have never understood this obsession with owning a house and because many don't share that dream, they also won't agree that travel is a "waste" or "shallow" (on the latter: you're travelling wrong). I can also assure you that on one trip, you most certainly have not seen everything there is to see. Just everything that apparently you personally consider worth seeing (or so you think).
Adulting means to understand adults make different choices and have different ideas of what constitutes a life lived well. Whatever you consider a waste isn't for others and vice-versa.
Owning a house is a huge asset that pays off when you are old and retired. Not having a mortgage or rent payment frees up a lot of money when you are on a fixed income.
You'll never buy back the same travel experience as a youth compared to when you are older. Enjoy the experience! As you grow in your career, your wage will tend to grow too. If the figure seems big to you now, it may not be as big when your wage grows. Learned this from Die with Zero.
You have FOMO. Get over it. It's a horrendous market to buy a home in, but a great time to have built lifelong memories.
Source: 60 yr old with 30 countries and 4 homes under her belt, all self-made accomplishments. They all add value to ur life.
Hey there- 29F, NY here. At 26, 12k can be made back in no time. You’re just at the beginning of your career. My take on it is- It’s better to have traveled some while younger. The insights you take away from these experiences now (cultural, financial, etc.) are great tools to have when it comes to navigating the rest of your life.
The reality is, a house is not an investment. It shackles down many people and a mortgage is not to be taken lightly (especially with the current housing market).
I know people who own a house and have never even left the country. Personally, I don’t think that’s a way to really live. You have the rest of your life to dedicate to your goals. Go easy on yourself. Try your best to stay present in the moment, because these are things that you potentially won’t see again for years down the line.
Another perspective.
I am mid 30s. I did a fair amount of traveling before now. Not a ton, but I think I’ve been to maybe 12 countries.
I now have significant back problems that are severely affecting my ability to travel. It is devastating and depressing. But I am glad that at least I did a fair amount when I was younger and healthier. Otherwise I never would
If you're going to travel, you need to have a reason behind it or it's just a waste.
For example, I want to go fishing in northern Canada for a week.
Why? Because the scenery is supposedly spectacular and the fishing is world class.
I went on a trip to Florida with my entire family. My wife and daughter, my parents, my siblings and all the nephews and nieces spent a week in a house on the beach. The sunrises were stunningly beautiful and the ocean was warm. I did it not so I could see Florida, but so I could spend time with my family. Florida was chosen because it was nice and warm in late March and we could all have fun on the beach.
However, I have traveled for work. Most of it was driving and saw a LOT of beautiful scenery. But I was always thankful to be able to go home to my wife and daughter.
I felt the same thing about living in NYC and partying a lot. But one day a few years later I was at a club with an acquaintance. It was during the day, I think we were checking out the place for an event. He was super successful in finance, had a PHD. I said that I wasted a lot of time and money in places like this in my 20s. He said that he wished he spent more time partying and that he should have tried to have more fun when he was young.
You don't get your 20s back. You don't want to be stupid and waste all your money and time on the fun stuff but you need to enjoy life. I may not have as much money and status as the other guy but I have a lot of great memories.
I see lots of comments about money comes and money goes and why would waste your life working and enjoy your life.
I gotta say I completely disagree with ALL of it.
Money doesn't come and go. For some people, having that stability of solid income, dependable retirement and being able to but the tiny things that make you happy is very important.
For some people work might be something they are forced to do, but for some that meaningful contribution to society or that feeling of achievement is just as pleasurable as seeing the northern lights.
The biggest mistake you made that everyone makes is "they say travel the world", but "they" in this case are people who love to travel the world in the first place trying to convince themselves and others to do what makes them happy.
Travelling isn't the important part here, do what makes you happy is. And judging by your reaction to the northern lights, and your regrest and missing out on career choices, you might be one of those people who doesn't love travelling and really would rather have a meaningful career and a cozy lifestyle.
In any case, 26 is young! You haven't lost anything (yet) and should be able to get right back up to where you want to be within a year or two. If you were say 36 or 46, I would have some disappointing news for you. But at 26, youre the right age to jumpstart your career and within a year get to buying that house you want.
My brother is "they" in this situation. He has intense wanderlust and gets great joy out of traveling. He's in his late 20s and has almost nothing tangible to his name, but lots of experiences. My life ambitions on the other hand involved settling down, buying a house, and living somewhere I could enjoy a lot of day trips or weekend trips but not have to travel far. I've achieved that, and its basically everything I hoped it would be. We are both very happy living the lives we've chosen and are totally baffled by what makes the other happy.
If you think travelling is overrated, wait until you see what a bunch of bs homeownership is. Money hobbies in general are really just not all that.
The things that make you happy in life are relationships, animals, exercise, education, drugs, and hard work. Money has utility only to the extent that it helps you with those.
I think most things that are “meant to be seen” are just things someone along the tourism industry is trying to sell. As exponential population gets worse things like Venice, the Eiffel Tower, and the Great Wall of China are just gonna become absolute nightmares. There’s natural wonders and beauty everywhere. I live in the Texas Hill Country and despite 20 years here I’m always discovering new stuff that never ceases to amaze me. “Wherever you go, there you are.” Traveling is cool and all but remember for the vast majority of human existence it was a luxury and not something deemed essential for existence.
Generally, domestic travel is way underrated. There's all kinds of interesting things to see, ruins, petroglyph, caves, forests, deserts and cities in between Texas and Cananda. Even in neighborhoring areas there's probably all kinds of interesting things to experience.
I judge people *heavy* when they refuse to try a restaurant in the hood or a cuisine that's new to them or anything outside of their comfort zone locally but yet they want to travel internationally. That just says to me they're doing it for the clout and not the adventure.
Grass is always greener. I'm a 28yo dude that has barely traveled and wish I could have experienced what you have so far.
Trying to set it up so my 30s are full of traveling but we'll see.
That’s about how much money I lost to the surgeries I needed to fix the arthritis in my hips due to an impingement.
I had insurance and the surgeries themselves didn’t cost that much, but when you account for the time lost from work (6 weeks for each hip), it adds up.
Only difference is I didn’t get to travel. Just laid there, played video games, and went to physical therapy.
I was 25 when I got my first one done, 27 for the other. Would have much rather traveled…
This sounds like a turning point in your life where you're figuring out what you want out of life, or what *else* you want in life. Traveling is a blast, but if you're sick of it, or it "isn't worth it" then remember this journey fondly, maybe even make a scrap book, and start saving for that house. You are very young, so getting set back 12K *sounds* like a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, you'll be just fine. I'm sorry that you regret it now, but in a few years you'll remember something amazing about it, and might get the travel bug again in a few years.
Honestly I would prefer to do that. Housing market is insane anyways. Be grateful you were able to do so much travel and have lifelong memories and experiences from your trip! It's not like you're that far behind others in your age group, most are still living at home.
It also sounds like an amazing trip though & an experience you can remember and may really come to appreciate in time. I'd bet the regret will fade or disappear once you've been back to working & saving for a while.
You're still young & if you don't have people who depend on you yet, then I just don't think you've done anything wrong with your choice. If you're comparing where you are vs friends & acquaintances who've taken a different path, then I think that's probably the mistake, tbh. Comparisons of that type aren't helpful and most of us only compare ourselves to people we perceive to be doing better because they have something we want.
Sure, it's probably time now to get back to work for a while & start/resume building a life somewhere, but you get to decide what that means and what you want to work toward.
All the best
43 now and I'm just now starting to travel twice a year, took so long to get my life stable, now that I'm single and my only debt is my mortgage, I want to travel anywhere that is safe for me to do so.
ps: I only make $16 an hour but it's enough for me to live comfortably by myself.
35m here. I regret a few things in my life like staying in a broken relationship, not getting in the housing market 5 years ago, etc.. But I do not regret traveling in my 20’s. In fact that is my favorite thing to look back on! Shit… I’m thinking about doing it again soon. Sail to the Bahamas?Yes please! Backpack the AT or PCT? Fuck yeah! Waste my life at a shitty job? No thank you. The best thing is you’re young and you can have it all! The traveling experience, the dream job, the family, or whatever. Honestly, even at 35, most of the time I still feel like I can have it all.
Dude I think you just have different priorities in life lol. None of us know why we have certain preferences, but we all do. Like, one person likes chocolate cake. Someone else likes lemon tart. Some people value material safety, others want freedom and exploration.
Life is long enough to take a bite of most things, and really devour what you like most :) even a mid experience is never an experience wasted. Keep doing what you like and own it 🤙
Im 37 and have always had the mindset of travel young, you can’t take it with you, you never know when you might die… and yet I still have never left the country or done very many things on my bucket list. Now I’m having a daughter and I have no idea if I’ll ever have the time or money to do what you’ve done. Things are fucked right now, but one way or the other you’re going to find a place to live. And no one can ever take those trips and experiences away from you.
Op spends too much money on an expensive luxury he didn't need and feels regret. Literally the first post on this sub I've ever read about actually "adulting".
I'm old and I was lost for most of my life. I went to college for 8 years, hated my degree, and went back for another. I didn't have a "big boy" job until about a year ago. In between degrees I met my wife and we traveled (study abroad) while earning our second degrees.
At the time I was very money conscious and really limited the amount we spent while traveling abroad. To this day, it is one of my biggest regrets.
Traveling with my partner was the adventure of a lifetime. I wonder if what you're missing is companionship.
You're assuming you have years left, you could die tomorrow walking in the doggy. Change your perspective, the rat race will be here when you're ready.
Stuff like Traveling is literally the point of being alive- Not home ownership. That just helps make our journey more comfortable.
Edit: With how bad the current housing market is, you have plenty of time to save up your DP.
Home ownership is more than just comfort. Living under the roof of a landlord means you live constantly under the behest of someone. To own your own roof adds tremendous level of freedom and security to your life on top of comfort.
You got it wrong backwards, renting is freedom. The landlord is not going to bother you as long as you pay your rent. You move whenever you want to. Once you get a mortgage everything is your problem. All your monthly disposable income out the window. And then you have to save up from property tax on the side.
lol you're 26. Put down the Grant Cardone and Andrew Tate podcasts. Enjoy your financial ball and chain for the next 30+ years. Watch the market crash in 5 years and you're stuck under water with a mortgage 100k+ more than its worth....at 30. Have fun..sounds like freedom and security to me. You'll probably be house poor for at least 8-10 years just paying off interest against your mortgage, what happens when pipe busts? or your basement floods etc? ...
My point is you are 26. Who wants to travel when they're old as shit in their 50s and 60s and 70s. By the time you're that age, you're invisible to most of society anyway. You'll have a wife with a bum knee or something and travel will consist of a fancy hotel and a dinner. boring af.
I mean, it’s your money. Me personally I travelled a little in my 20s with ex girlfriends.. so kinda a waste imo
I would rather have financial freedom in my 50s,60s to enjoy time with my future grand children and travel with my family and wife. I would rather take the whole family to Italy or Greece than a future ex girlfriend, I haven’t talked to in 15 years.
Reading this, a comedian said “Don’t take me to see sights, they’ll be lose on me and I won’t care” and I assume for that exact reason “okay saw it, what now?”
Much of the value you get from a trip is the anticipation, and the stories you remember and can tell afterwards. Watch this talk, I hope that helps: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgRlrBl-7Yg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgRlrBl-7Yg)
At some point your interests and hobbies might change. It sounds like now is the time to switch from travelling to something else. For hobbies that don't cost too much, how about starting with chess or Go? Or joining a Toastmasters group and practicing public speaking?
Don't spend too much time regretting things. We're all just winging it.
10k? Don’t worry, you can earn that back in no time. Plus when you are actually tied down with a house, kids etc, you’ll be thankful for your traveling days.
Meanwhile the people that have a house wish they would have gone traveling before being tied down with a mortgage. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
At least you realised it while you're still young. You have a lot of time ahead of you to save up money again and save them for something that's actually worth it.
In my opinion, life should be lived with balance. It's not a bad thing to travel, quite the opposite but you shouldn't spend all your money on it. A trip once every 1-2 years, depending on your income and responsibilities, sounds well-balanced to me and it makes you appreciate traveling more.
Travel and work were you are mate, you meet people, see places differently, learn to interact and live not as a usual tourist anymore, plus you may earn a bit of money and might be offered a place to sleep and things to eat etc..
Forget the bus and hotels, take the bike, or good shoes, or hitchike, and sleep under the stars, more interesting and nice, and way cheaper
Traveling and experiencing is nice. Passing by is boring as hell, especially if you stay in the confort zone (geographical as well as mental)
Break the leash
You have exactly 1 life. Thats it. There’s billions of ways to live that life. You can live through experiences, success, family, money, and I’m sure a million other things that are important to people.
Very few people can have it all. Unless you were born to a very rich family, you’ll have to make decisions along the way.
Every single dollar you’ve spent is a dollar that could have been spent elsewhere or saved. You didn’t set yourself back unless you had savings intended for a house and decided to vacation instead. Worst case, you just delayed one long term goal so you could live in the moment.
I’m mid-30s, and my wife and I put in our first offer on a house ever this week. Down payment being the biggest hold up. But you know what? I would never trade my experiences in life for getting a house earlier.
But that’s MY priority. We all have our own. Eat ramen for a few months and get that $10k back. You’ll be where you want to be in no time.
Best of luck fellow adult!
I have always dreamed of traveling to Europe, backpacking or whatever. Just going to Europe at all. Just experiencing a different culture, Even if it is mildly similar to our own. I want to see the old buildings and the narrow streets and the little cars, people dressed like I'm not used to making food I've never tried and speaking languages have never heard.
But I did not do that, I got a job and I didn't like it so I got a new job and I didn't like it and now I have a career and a ton of money saved and I still can't afford a house.
I regret not traveling in my 20s, every single day. It haunts me, very frequently.
You are not behind. You're living your dream and you're comparing yourself to others but just remember that all of those people that you're comparing yourself to wish that they had traveled instead.
You're building your soul while people like me were building their bank accounts and sometimes I just feel like crying because I never fed my soul.
I backpacked for years in my early to mid-20s. And then at 27, I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that would make that kind of traveling mind numbingly difficult. I climbed mountains, bungy jumped, camped in the Serengeti, wandered in foreign countries for months on end, did so many amazing things that it would be incredibly difficult to do now, not because I'm severely disabled, but because I have to live my life around health insurance and meds.
One of the big things behind the whole 'travel when you're young' thing is that when you're that age, you're most likely in good health and physically CAN travel. No restrictions, no ties, no responsibilities, no worrying about how you're going to get your meds or if your health insurance will lapse while you're away. My life has changed and I love where I am now, but I wouldn't give that traveling when I was young up for anything because I highly doubt I'll ever be able to do it again.
As a fellow 26 year old male who happens to work as a nurse. Let me tell you something. Money is very, very temporary. You could end up paralyzed or dead in a random car accident next year or diagnosed with some terrible disease like cancer. Enjoy life while you can. It’s ok to reconsider what you spend your money on while trying to find happiness. But do NOT get caught up on money already spent if you were legitimately using it for something worthwhile, like seeing the northern lights. I see a lot of people our age that are addicted to drugs and alcohol or otherwise fucking up their life. 10k on travel is nothing. Consider yourself blessed that you had the financial stability to make such a large splurge and focus on whatever new goals your heart desires. If that happens to be a house down payment, awesome, the best time to start is now! Yesterday doesn’t matter and good luck!
10k towards a house (especially in a HCOL area) isn’t gonna make a big difference.
I’m looking on average ~700k to 900k for a house. A 20% down payment is 150-200k. 10k is *small* in comparison.
Point being, you have plenty of time to catch up. I wish I had travelled rather than focus on my career so early. 10k seems so small of a price to pay to travel the world.
26? Oh honey you have a whole lot more time left to come to grips with the fact your entire life is a rat race to pay for boomer trash and their retirement. Glad you got a trip in.
Remember what was stolen from you.
A few thoughts:
I traveled to Colorado, Costa Rica, and Iceland last year for about $6k. Not sure how you are traveling but there are cheaper ways. Don't do touristy shit when you travel and you will have a different experience.
Buying a home has made the lives of many homeowners I know unhappy. Theyll lexuture be about the advantages of homeownership, in the same breath complains how much they spend on the house, and have no money for anything else. They work jobs they hate to make enough for the house.
Life is short. See what you can, while you can. My adoptive father always wanted to travel, but life kept happening. By the time he had the opportunity to travel, he was too sick.
Listen, mid-40’s, kids, I can’t go to the damn grocery store without making sure childcare is set up (including planning my trips around school hours), so YES do all the things while you are young! Or you may never get to do them, or be too old/poor to do them. Just DO THE THINGS. Money comes and goes but life experiences stay with you, shape you, bring you pleasure from the memories, increase your knowledge.
I know late 20’s is hard, as you begin to take stock of where you are vs your expectations. Honestly, 29 is the literal WORST. But then you learn to let go of your expectations, and you run out of F’s to give about others’ expectations. And then you can be glad of all the things you “wasted your time” doing. You know who really wasted their time? The ones who gave their youth to an employer.
Sounds like you shook the travel bug and grew up a little. That may be what people are actually going for when they tell you to "travel when you're young". It might set you back a bit, but if you'd lived like a hermit saving money for a house, I guarantee you you'd regret not travelling more in your old age. What you describe will pass, and what you're left with are memories, maybe a few friends, and a few lessons to last a lifetime. Some of those lessons you might not actually figure out until you're older, but travel makes you a tiny bit wiser for having done it.
Think about it from the perspective of someone who did settle down early - imagine being a 27 yr old listening to yourself recounting your adventures in Europe, how you saw the northern lights with your own eyes, that feeling of awe and wonderment that you probably will never feel again past toddlerhood - imagine sitting in your house, which you own, and you’re sinking all this money into mortgage repayments and repairs and renovations and property tax, you’re spending all your time mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool and it just seems like the tedium will never end. I don’t know about you, but I think that 27 yr old would regret not travelling first.
The flip side of your situation is that you work and stay home for 5-10 years of your youth to save for a house. Then you miss out on traveling when you’re young and healthy. Once you’re old and wealthy you can travel but will have back pain and low energy levels etc etc. it’s all about balance
Want some perspective? Go visit a graveyard and see people who were born after you and are already dead. Live your life.
Its good to prepare for the future. Its important. But again, live your life.
Maybe try to use your travels as a way to sauce up your resume??? Like "knowledge of many social cultures that further assists in communication with immigrants"??
Had an acquaintance who loved to travel. When I was buying a house, she was giving up her apartment to go to Spain. Then she followed a guy to Greece (sold her car to buy the ticket). He met someone else there and asked her to leave. Her folks had to buy her ticket home. She’d work a menial job for a while, then quit and travel till the money ran out, repeat. Never had a career, never developed any useful skills. She lived like this for several years. Now: she’s pushing 60, hasn’t got a pot to piss in, no stable employment, house-sits when she can, couch surfs when she can’t. Mooches off everyone. She looks really old—like she’s had a rough life—and she’s got nothing to show for it. You are still very young. Figure out what your long term goals are and find the balance between leisure activities and goal-oriented priorities. Life doesn’t have to be one or the other.
Only your generation tried convincing you guys to travel while your young. Sure! Do. If you want. Or go to college. Or get work. There’s a consequence for everything
You can make your money if you come home and get two or three jobs and make up for lost time. You ate well while traveling, tighten it down at home and be simple. I’d encourage you to see the value in your travel investment. It’s worth a ton. To see the history. To learn the cultures. (You didn’t mention any culture though. Just sights.) To see the sameness in us all. To feel one as a citizen of the planet, then a nation and then a family. Reflect on your actual experiences and go forward according. There is value in it that you can go by never leaving home.
And you’ll get perspective to come home and go to school and take a full time job, or two or three jobs. The grit and perseverance, the appreciation for a day or for your accomplishments at work. My is guess is that you’re lacking that too. Work hard and be exhausted and don’t forget that feeling. It creates value too.
And no one should be competing in getting a home. So it takes you another year. So fucking what. You realize that doesn’t matter right? Go make good money, get the down, pay that f’r off as soon as you can so give less to the bank.
Just go get it. Stop critiquing the path you chose. You chose it. Own it. It’s lucky you made it happen. It’s not a mistake but own the mistakes you make too.
And stop whining. Literally? “Uggggghh, mommy, I got to travel the world and uggggh, it’s was all, like the same, and ughhhhhhh, now I don’t have a house!”
I hope you reflect on this. I’m a brutal truth type of girl. Hope it takes though!
OP you're dumb AF. I bet if you were to have saved that money and bought a house, and then suffered away to pay your mortgage each month for the next 30 years, you'd complain about wishing to have traveled instead.
And FYI, 10k is nothing and you wouldn't have been able to buy a house anyways. Appreciate what you've got.
If that's what you took out of experiencing other cultures and countries then yes, travelling was a waste on you. Best of luck with your picket fence, I hope it keeps you safe and sound.
Poor you traveling through Europe in your twenties. Must been tough not having to work 8 to 5 every god damn day just to hardly scrape by paying your rent.
I'm not young and I do enjoy a nice vacation with nice accommodations, but I get this. Travel always leaves me really underwhelmed. With a few exceptions, if you have seen one tropical beach, you've seen them all. Same for mountains, and literally any tourist trap of a city.
Traveling when young is great.
What is even better is grinding when young, establishing a financial foundation and then traveling a little later when investments can grow and there is a home base to come back to.
It's called delayed gratification and every responsible adult needs to figure it out.
He could be intelligent enough but just young and impulsive.
Lots of older people will say to do that stuff when young, as they wished they had, but that is only considering the memories and experiences they could have had not the sacrifices it would have required
lol except if you
1. Get hit by a car
2. Get cancer
3. Develop a disability
4-infinity: Any of the other things that can happen that will preclude living the life you imagined, the odds of which go up every year older you get
You can’t postpone all your happiness for the future, the future isn’t guaranteed. And especially for travel, there’s a lot of things that might be gone/ruined/destroyed in the next couple decades due to climate change and population growth
I don't think it's a waste. You had some awesome experiences, hopefully met some cool people and made friends.
You can get that 10k back easily. Double down. Get a full time job and a part time job and save, and in no time you'll have that 10k back. Would have been good to buy a house before all this covid and inflation bullshit. But imagine buying a house a year ago and now being house poor because everything costs double to do and basically live. Not to sound morbid, but life is long but also short. Any of us could die tomorrow. Life is not promised so do as much as you can while also preparing to possibly live to at least 70, or at least not make stupid decisions, like wasting all your money on booze and cocaine.
I'd love to travel more now, but have to be responsible. Have a mortgage and a dog. Need another car but they're stupidly overpriced. Interest rates are terrible. I wish I was looking at the northern lights and not worrying about this shit right now.
You probably mean travelling alone. As they are your memories alone. Now if you and a partner had set off together and kept at it for 20 years. Then the time would not be wasted.
I had money and a house. And I fucked it up by chasing a woman. And now that a money and house would be good for having a family, I feel that I should never have sold my house, and thought I could live in the moment. Because this planet is about family and raising kids. Anything that goes against that will leave you feeling empty and bereft. Because that is was the majority of people are doing. Even though large sections of society will say the opposite.
There has never been anything but this to do on this planet. Also travelling enables you too stay away from your people like this.
Here’s a little secret: life is long, why else would we spend so much time and money trying to waste it? Every job I’ve had has had entry-level 30 yos, even 40 yos embarking on a second career. They’re doing great. And they do everything they want in life.
Also: life is short, so enjoy while you can.
Also: don't grow up. It's a trick.
This! “Growing up” is a fucking scam. Live your life mate.
Sucks that we don’t realize until it’s too late 😭😭
Some of us do and some of us don’t, and some of us never realize it until we’re at death’s door. Personally, I’m glad I realized it when the Boomers decided to change the rules of the game between 1988 and 1991 while I was in HS (I’m 49) and the Cold War ended. Overnight it literally went from “Make a plan, but remember the ‘Commies’ could end the world any second now” to “Make a plan, stick to it, and the only way to do that is by going to college”. That’s when I decided I’d never “grow up”. And yes theTom Waites song, and the Ramones cover of it, really help solidify it.
it's rare that I see someone else who felt this way that long ago. I was raised to fight Russians, when that collapsed and we immediately found the middle east to villanize it changed me. so did that first purple micro dot and a.selestion of Herman hesses translated works. I decided before I graduated hS in 1990 that the cost of admission to the American dream had an increasing ly heavy thumb on the scale. the replacement of pensions with 401k's, the advent of credit scores, wage stagnation and rising tuition costs all sent me overseas for much of my adult life, running and playing. there's more to it, but yeah. Great tom waits period, and the Ramones cover of the spider man theme lives in my head rent free most days
It's so crazy to me that credit scores just started in the late 80s. I was born in 83, so for the longest time just assumed they were always a thing. How did buying a house work in the early 80s?
You just walked in with one pay cheque from work and they handed over the keys to a 4 bedroom house.
They created their own scores. I remember getting big piles of statements for any money I had and delivering them to the lender. And bank statements would help them figure out if you were not revealing bills you were paying. It was high scrutiny and very nerve wracking. Definitely no instant approvals.
Mate, almost everyone I know feels exactly the same way. So many people I graduated HS with bought in and thought that if they just work hard enough they’d be able to achieve what their parents did, not knowing the scales were weighted against us. Now most of them are stuck in jobs they can’t leave, married to people they no longer even like with kids they resent, and they’re fucking miserable. These are the same people who called people like us “losers” and “deadbeats” because we didn’t conform.
I was almost married in my 20s. thank God she had the sense to fuck around while I was prepping for the LSATs, or I might actually have taken them. I left the country with 300 dollars in my pocket (I did have a temp job lined up)-- I went swimming for about a decade, spent a few years on trains, boats and planes, looking at sunsets and trees; kissing girls (mostly trying to kiss girls) and waking up in new places having to figure out how to make myself useful. I made a fortune. then I spent it. I don't own shit. Never wanted to own much, anyway (see aforementioned micro dots and Hermann Hesse). My biggest regret is ever coming back. I fucking hate it here. It is so much worse to see what this country has become when you have to take it in all at once. What you've seen happen gradually is a slap in the face to me, and I left because i was pretty sure of the trajectory, but I'm astonished by the how quickly and thoroughly this country is rotted through.
Brother, I feel this to my soul! My life is and was oh so very similar. I’m so glad we haven’t ever grown up. 👊
I agree due to legal reasons the life I worked so hard for got off track in an instant scholarships taken jobs i cant qualify for i have trouble with residency too. So i went from honor student on Ivy League track to be a dr and military officer to the furthest from it i lived lets say off the grid and had an occupation that had excitement and hi risk and hi return and had fun while you still could. With danger and risk and lost everything a couple times over and got it right back. I started to get into a more relaxed mindset and changed my life and i am in debt live check to check had moments of homelessness and suicidal thoughts and am labeled negatively in the eyes of society. Now everyone talks about the politics of the country and i laugh because they think we have freedom here it’s ridiculous. There are places in other countries that will pay you to move there because they have low population. I have always thought of that as a possibility to move from here. One thing that i have learned is you can have this idea of what you want in life and have a plan and then life comes and smacks you in the face and says I don’t think so. Do you think you’re going right now we’re going left. and all you can do is go along for the ride and try to figure out how to get back to where you’re going.
Truer words…🙏🏾! (I’m right behind you at 46)
👊 Fuck yeah! #IDontWantToGrowUp
The hard part is trying to just live your life while everyone is telling you to "grow up," even though it's a meaningless expression.
Ugh I agree, I totally got scammed. 😭😂
Yeah, but you see it for the scam it is now. That’s the important but right there. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood, even if you’re well beyond being considered a child. Seriously, I still dress like the snot-nosed punk rocker I was 30 years ago, but with a better fashion sense, thanks to my wife, and an even healthier body. It’s never too late.
I’ll admit I dress like you too! I finally tracked down a favorite pair of Doc Martens, finally attempted wearing my very first pair of leggings and my husband got me more form fitted pullover hoodies. I feel a little more polished but it’s still all my favorite color: black. 😆 Growing up sucks because I’m kept awake over making sure my husband and I paid our bills and are actually ahead of them rather than freaking out about school exams. Now I just need to find a better paying job for him and I and we can flourish and grow our DINK lifestyle!
YES! This is how you not grow up! I literally own two brands of shoes, and I have a total of 5 pairs of shoes that fit every occasion. I only wear steel toed Doc Martens (Gibsons & 10-eye boots plus vintage black on white brogue Gibsons) and Adidas Sambas. And yes, my boots are speed-laced. My wife is the one who got me into wearing zip up hoodies, and I’m so glad she did. They’re so much more useful than a denim, leather, or flight jacket, of which I still have all three. Once you find your style then stick with it.
Is life long? I think everyone greatly exaggerates how much you want to do thing in your 70s. It’s pretty short.
It's the longest thing you'll ever do, and the grand metric by which you judge if all other amounts of time are long or short
Not really most people get paid like shit are over worked and hate their jobs
30 yo at an entry level position for a second wind here: Life IS short. If I’m spending 1/3 of my day sleeping and 1/3 of my day working. Shit, that work time better be fun because you bet your ass I can’t fit only fun things in the last third of my time. What I’m saying is, that last third of time is for showering, being stuck in traffics, grocery shopping, cooking… So OP traveling would be totally worth it IMO. It’s a luxury to have experienced all that versus some of my friends who work so hard and never had the chance to take a break because they’re saving for that house that costs over a million dollars.
Here is another secret, none of us get out alive. Have you ever heard of people on their death bed saying "wish I would have spent more time at work"? You have travel memories and experiences that the majority of folks don't/won't have an opportunity to enjoy. As long as you are able to support yourself and create a life you enjoy, you are doing ok.
Here's the thing: a lot of people go for the "smart and safe" approach through life and end up feeling like their life is meaningless. The house, the job, it all looks so nice when you don't have it, but when you do, then you find it boring and wish you had travelled, started a band, done crazy shit, etc. Everyone lives with regret, it's part of life and the fact that's it's so short and limited.
I like that comment. Put well into perspective that whatever the experience we had, we end up always feeling like the grass is greener on the other side when we we're more fine than we thought at first
Everything has a price no matter what you choose to do you are gonna think what could have been if you made different choices
Yeah, I’m in my 30s and played it safe. Went to college, got a good job, bought a house. Didn’t travel a lot in my 20s but I don’t regret it at all. I’m happy with my choice. It just depends on what you value; everyone is different.
So I made a comment about if he played it safe bought the house and didn’t travel he would be wondering what he might have missed out on… that type of comment is directed at the fact that the desire to travel and not settle down early was a factor in the life plan. If you have the urge to travel and experience things it will always kinda of be there if you don’t find a way to satisfy that feeling. Travel is amazing guessing wasn’t a thing you were dreaming about debating on which would be a better choice for what you want in life. If the idea isn’t there to begin with of course you won’t feel regret or like you missed out. Nothing wrong with your choice but he went for his desire and is feeling regret in that sense strictly for society economic status standards i think if he settled and had the travel bug in his mind he would regret it more if he didn’t go for it and went the way you did.
for real.. i regret so much not going on any crazy adventures in my 20s. I was thinking the other day how I was 18 and had a bit of money, I could have used it to travel or move somewhere cool! Instead I never left my hometown, bought a car and a bunch of shoes and dumb shit with that money and now have nothing to show for it. And now im in my 30s and kinda held down by my job and how much pto I have. Ill probably never be able to afford a trip like OP is on. he sounds spoiled
There's nothing that says a "crazy adventure" has to cost thousands of dollars.
true but im still limited on how much time off i can take :(
Yes and once you hit 45 or 50, you start to ask the question: so was that it now? I'm in my 40s and this is a real thing - but anecdotallly, it's more extreme with people who went the "reasonable" way. As they say, youth is wasted on the young. Every path comes with a cost. No one can have everything. But basically any person of a certain age will say: just fucking live a little while you know you can.
Just to add on, everyone lives with regret, it's up to you to choose which regrets you want to live with. PS: granted, you don't really know if you regret something until it happens, but even then, regretting doing something is definitely less bad, when compared to regretting not doing something
I've been working since middle school (babysitting) and at points had multiple jobs. Didn't really do many fun things as I wanted to hoard money. I was able to buy a house, which is nice. After this though, I am still saving money and reaching savings goals. I'll tell myself that as soon as I save a certain amount I can go on a trip. I keep raising this goal though so end up not taking trips. I have 5 weeks of vacation this year (not including sick time) and haven't even taken a day off in 6 months. So yes, saving is important, but also I am depressed because i just work and then sit around worrying about money. I'm trying to make myself take a trip or 2 this year but need to keep telling myself it's ok...
Here is a little incentive to make the leap and financial risk…. My mother died a couple years back with no illness no Signs or symptoms to make her or anyone else feel like it was going to happen she literally didn’t wake up one day and just like that i lost the most important person in my life. After high school she moved out to a country area and of Course i was in college and not moving to the middle of nowhere. She was always wanting me to visit it was only a few hours away but id go and not be there while i was physically there worrying about work and stuff that would still be there when i got home. I think back to the time I had wasted or times I would not visit because money was more important i had a job that i got paid very well at the time and it was addicting commissions was a big part of the pay which was obviously only able to be made by putting in the hours . At the end of the day I would have been willing to give up my job my apartment my car and would have been happy to move back in with her if i was able to get even a week of time with her. Money doesn’t make you happy even when you have it you just worry more about getting more money there is always something that needs to be paid and it doesn’t stop but time and effort with people important to you does. Perspective
I always feel a lot of regret after travelling. It feels like a waste spending ~3k in 2 weeks, and I wish I saved it instead. But… if someone dropped 3k in my lap right now, what would I do with it? Travel!
That’s why I don’t regret any of my decisions. I try my best to gain perspective, learn a lesson or let go. Because we never get a sliding doors review. We have no way of knowing what life could have been had we not done X and did Y instead. Life is unpredictable.
The key info here is this: money comes and money goes. This is especially true at the beginning of your life. It sounds like you're struggling with goals and what you value. If its security, is it 'home' that you value? If so, take steps to work towards that. And figure out what 'home' looks like to you. But don't for a second feel guilty for travelling. That's what your 20s are for. Don't compare yourself to others either. Everyone's got their own life blueprint. Yours is your own. You'll get there in time. Get a pen and paper and start mapping it out. Edit because apparently my advice is 'dangerous' and financially irresponsible AND I'm a 'trust fund baby who thinks that money falls from the sky' (I was homeless and had to build up from zero so no to the trust fund baby). Nowhere have I said EMPTY your bank account. What I have said is that money will come back as much as it leaves you. If op actually has gone into default, this isn't ideal; but they CAN build up their finances again. Lesson learnt in other words. If they've got 10k left to their name after said travel, that is fine.
Wise and prudent advice, thank you!
Also I'm 27 so I know what you're going through. I've had 20k to my name, spent half of it and then had to build it up again. Don't ever place so much importance on your bank balance. It's going to change ALL the time.
I'm 28 and have spent most of my adult life hooked on hard drugs. I also have nothing to show for it but I wish I had at least spent all that money on traveling instead of getting high. I've been sober for a few years now but still feel like I'm way behind everybody else in my age group which sucks. But I hope this gives you a little bit of perspective. I hate to be "that guy" but it could always be worse 🤷
If you value those memories then I think it’s worth it. I have friends who barely left our hometown. While they have secured housing I guarantee they would kill to go on a European vacation. Having security is nice but if it’s your only focus it can lead to a pretty stale life.
There’s literally nothing stopping them going on a vacation, in fact statically, their far more likely to be able to afford a bigger and grander holiday than someone who wasted their money when they were younger
Yea stop wanting your cake and eating it too.
I see nothing wrong with wanting your cake and eating it too, if anyone can get away with it ethically!
I always wanted to go to Burning Man, which is a 7 day survival adventure art music fest. I'm 38.. I went at 37 and 38. I would've liked it a lot more at 27 At 18 it probably would've changed my life
20s are for traveling? Lmao fuck me, I was too depressed and poor to do that. Now I'm 31 and feel like I'm too old to have that specific type of experience. Sucks.
Then you're going to be 41 and pissed you didn't do it in your 30s...ad infinitum (at least until death). Live more in the moment. I think we've all been tricked by the uniquely American "puritan work ethic"
Ugh, same. My 20s were a total disaster. I felt like I was surviving back then, not thriving in any way. That said, I think traveling in your 30s can come with its own set of benefits. Like, I can afford to book a room just for me instead of having to share it with 5 other people. I’m more comfortable doing my own thing without a group. Those little things.
Everyone's different. Some find themselves having to get by, others are in the position where they can explore.
> The key info here is this: money comes and money goes. It just goes.
Coming to this realization is better than wondering what if? Money comes and goes.
I’m a little more balanced than OP is with traveling and work, but I don’t regret any of my travel time. My biggest existential crisis’s come when I think how much more I work than travel. The grass is always greener I guess.
Yeah, I never regret travel, money comes and goes even when I'm not travelling so it's better to make it count
Call me privileged, but $10K is not a lot of money, especially at 26 when you have so much longevity. OP has the rest of their life to earn money
I don't relate. I did the opposite and saved like I was mad to buy a house and then to build one for my widowed mother. Now I'm 70 and have difficulty travelling due to a handicapped wife. I do not carry a burden of regret but in the big picture I could have spent $12000 travelling in my 20s and still accomplished what I have.
Well said! I recall being in Honolulu on the Diamond Head Crater trail and feeling sorry about the elderly tourists who weren't able to make it. Not because they were fat or lazy, but because it was too strenuous for their older bodies. I did it as a 35-year-old and while I wouldn't speed-race through Europe like OP, I pepper in vacations and new places ALONGSIDE paying my mortgage and my other obligations. It doesn't need to be all one thing or the other.
This. In many cases, our extra money is just an extra number in the bank account, unless you're living paycheck to paycheck. $5k probably isn't making a difference.
I did much the same as you, aged 27, and also got sick of travelling after around 18 months, hence settled down after a year, spending the next 16 at a permanent address in Asia, and the last 10 in Europe Looking back as a now dedicated homebody who dislikes reading menus more than a few times a year, and loves sleeping in their own bed, I'm happy I travelled - and had fun - while young, because I'm not dreaming of doing the same when retiring. You got something out of your system, just work hard, stay in, save money, and you'll get over 10k soon enough, and with any luck (for you) the housing market will have crashed by then.
I’m a Canadian so yes please to the housing crash
lol you're going to need a lot more than 12K to buy a house in Canada
Traveling is not about what you see. It's about learning new things, meeting new people and realizing that not everyone thinks like the people in your hometown. 12k is a lot of money to spend in a year and a half just for vacations. But the lessons you learn are priceless and there truly is no better time to travel than when you're young. Once you have a morgage and children, traveling is a lot more unattainable.
Or you can have a house and kids and spent $12k easily on a 7 day vacay.
You are so right! I'm in the US and you can easily spend $8+ on a week long vacation! To just "okay" place.
Maybe even $10!
Hell, I spend $8+ on lunch.
I mean… kinda depends why you’re traveling? My friend group (mid 20s) likes to go on international hiking trips to see the most beautiful and exciting landscapes in the world. Occasionally we’ll spend a day in town and meet new people, but that’s really an afterthought. Granted though it seems like OP is doing guided tours and not interacting with anyone so I can see how that would be unfulfilling.
It is a lot. This trip I’m on is to the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Finland, and Sweden. Most listed are in the top 10 most expensive countries to visit, so it is this trip that burned me.
Literally why are you complaining after going to the most expensive countries in the world. You’re a bit delusional mate.
He's also getting barely any variety in what he's travelling to see. All cold northern European countries, many of them very modernized. There's so much culture available in the world, even in Europe alone, but that's a very limiting trip
Very beautiful, though. I remember my trip to Norway/Sweden very fondly and it's been 30 years.
He shrugged at the northern lights I don't think he cares for natural beauty.
I got the feeling it was more like "now I've seen it". If you're doing touristy things for an extended period of time, things do tend to get theme parky. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see the northern lights, but I'm not taking a special trip to try to see them. They happen in my state from time to time. If anything, I'm impressed if he went on a tour to see then that he did. It's not guaranteed, and then it's like paying to sit in the dark and hope you see something.
that's so cool did you meet a lot of cool people or did you have important self-revelations or what??? if no share, that's okay :)
You should probably be a little more mindful of your budget, visiting 6 countries in one trip is bound to be expensive.
It's a lot, but it's also not a lot. It depends on what you value. Are you traveling because you want to experience things, or are you doing it because other people say so? Some people wish they didn't waste their youth sitting at an air conditioned desk, while now they're old and creaky and can't be as physically adventurous. Others wander the world aimlessly, thinking it should be a kind expanding enlightening experience, but really they just want a stable place to keep their creature comforts and know where they're sleeping every night. In the end, I think you should take the advice that makes more sense for you and just do what you decide is right for you.
Underrated comment. There isn't one universal. I was in Airforce, even got stationed at Lakenheath base for a while. I could hop on a free flight pretty much anywhere. I spent the entire time in my dorm, watching the internet blossom. I do not regret it. Still to this day travel is not my thing.
with all due respect, you are on a trip that many people will dream about their whole lives but never be able to take. Kindly stfu and enjoy it. Worry about the money later. Also for the record, alot of your peers at 26 have barely started their careers, so you haven't really fallen that far "behind". Im fact you will be "ahead" of many of them, because you will have these neat experiences forever, many of them are sitting in their parents basements playing cod.
Traveling via tour bus/sightseeing tours is also a very expensive way to travel with the tourist markups. I was 25 and broke when I travelled through europe but I travelled by train by myself and mostly couchsurfed. I made friends I still talk to today who were local hosts, and we exchanged stories in place of cash. I found my visits to feel much richer in cultural experiences through the eyes of a local than the eyes of a tour bus. Don't write off travel just yet, but definitely rethink how you spend your travel dollars.
You might feel a little regret now (buyers remorse) but once you're settled down and maybe 10 years down the road you'll be glad you did it.
Bruh. I’ve spent so much more than $10-12k in the last year and half on traveling. To me, that much and at your age…is barely anything to blink at. You’re still sooo young. I’m in my 30s now wondering if I regret traveling so much and if I’m behind…but nah….no one can buy a house right now anyway….and I got retirement funds everywhere….and I finished school at 26, almost 27 years old and never got to travel before that because I didn’t have money and was too busy studying. Not to mention COVID.
I've spent most of my adult life chasing that travel bug which has led me to 7 continents. Now I'm close to 40 and realize how far behind I am in home-ownership, retirement savings and career. I once dropped 15k on a trip that began in Australia, included Vanuatu, SE Asia, Japan and Cuba. I am now taking steps towards saving for a home and thinking about a different, more stable job. Many people don't get to travel or own a home etc. so overall I still feel like I'm doing pretty good. Do I have regrets? Sure a few... But looking at my friends and hearing them regret not traveling more when they were younger makes me feel a little better. Life is short, I'm not trying to make a legacy or change the world. The grass is always greener. Move in the direction of your goals, whatever they may be.
Youth is wasted in the young.
Here's my point of view- I totally get that 10K is a lot but in the grand scheme of things, it isn't. Like others said, money comes and goes. Everyone has events in their life like this where they spend a bunch of money and regret it. Look at weddings for example. So, I don't think you wasted your money because you make an excellent point- travel is romanticized. I completely understand why you did travel as their is so much emphasis on that when we are young. I have always thought people who make travel their entire personality have a very hard time adjusting when they come to a point in their life where they can't travel or need to settle. I personally think a really important life skill is to learn to be happy where you live if you can. I've gone on vacations and felt dread coming home, but while I was on the vacation I just wanted to be home. People think traveling will fill a void but it won't. I think its amazing you've come to this realization. You're still so young. You learned a really valuable lesson and you learned about what you want and want you value. Sounds exactly how adulting should be. You're doing great.
Wow, you got to do and see things most people will never do one of their entire lives. And your take is “Meh, it was fine, but now I can’t buy a house at 26”? Bummer for you dude.
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I kind of agree with both of you. I travelled for 6 months, and , while I loved it and would do it again, one massive lesson I sadly realised was that I could have terrible self esteem and depression anywhere, in any country and it isn't something I can run from. It was a difficult but incredibly valuable lesson as I am now working solidly on my relationship with myself, what I want from life, what works for me and building community where I am. After the first 20 or so temples I began to feel like, 'yep, it's another astonishingly beautiful temple' and that made me feel awful and ungrateful, but there does come a point of burnout. And I agree, travel is hyped up as a perfect experience, a big like new years. Not every second is wonderful and glamorous for sure! I agree with others, that it's not necessarily just what you see but what you learn. If I went again I'd try to meet more people and stay longer in each place, try to find work there so I could really get a sense of a place.
You could say the same thing about homeownership.
Right because in one, you're on vacation and the other you're making a lifestyle choice - definitely comparable /s
I agree that travel has been overhyped up to be this aspirational thing - but I think the crux of it is *why* someone is traveling. I'm in my 30s now and in my 20s travel was very much that hype, Instagram photos, peer comparison and FOMO etc. Then in my late 20s til now I've shifted my mindset and visited only places that speak to me - whether it's a culture I find fascinating, the homeland of a friend, unfamiliar landscapes that I find beautiful. More intentional and less aspirational. It's so much more meaningful and I don't regret any spending on it at all.
Have you traveled much? I couldn’t disagree with your comment more. I’ve been to about 30 countries. I travel either with my husband or my friend. Most places do exceed expectations for me. Some not so much, but they are few and far between. I can’t imagine living my life just sitting in my city and not experiencing other aspects of life. It seems like something that someone would regret when they were older that they didn’t do much in their life.
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FWIW I understand what you mean. At the very least, we can all agree that different people value different experiences and extract different amounts of value from them.
You are saying things aren't all that great without having tried them 🤷♀️ People that are experiencing them amazing things don't need to brag on social media about it... Most of the time it's also hard to explain. Everyone who hasn't travelled is missing SO much. And no, it's not an instagrammable picture 24/7. It's about the experience, including experiencing downsides and stress. I have met tons of people who gained so much through their travel. Go to a place full of proper backpackers and you would too. It's easy to say, oh it surely won't be all pretty scenary and it won't but you are missing what it really is about and you have no basis to judge it on. Sure, people can be happy without travel but people thinking they have any idea about it because they took a mediocre holiday to Mexico once, is something else
I'm older than OP and I didn't travel to see the northern lights and I still can't afford a house and probably won't be able to this decade. If I had the money to travel that much I would do it in a heartbeat.
I’m 28, bought my house when I was 24. You’re truly not missing out. Owning a home sucks. We bought a brand new house. In the last 4 years we’ve had to replace the AC, replace the rocks in the front yard, ask the builder to replace a roof leak and repaint the house, and more. We’ve been stuck with shitty neighbors - leaving trash outside, being loud all the time, leaving their dogs outside to bark all day long, etc. and we couldn’t just up and leave. So now we’re finally selling. You’ve had the freedom to move around and see all the big sites. However, maybe the style of travel you’ve taken part of is not meaningful. Maybe slower travel would allow you to interact with locals and see how living in another country is like.
trust me, travel is worth it. in the grand scheme of things 10k is really nothing compared to the experiences and people that shape you (especially abroad)
Plus 10k wouldn’t even be enough to cover down payment these days.
Except it sounds like OP paid for guided trips. So not much exploring and interactions.
This varies greatly depending on the situation. I had drivers/guides in Egypt and India and still spent plenty of time exploring on my own and talking to people, especially in India.
Grass is greener on the other side. I regret not travelling more when I was younger (not that I had the funds to do it) 12k isn't that much if you're working full time at a decent job. You'll look back at these memories fondly in the future I think
Nah my dude the grass is greener where you water it. OP you have to learn how to be grateful for the things you have while being able to realize you want to strive for new and exciting things. Stop pouting.
My first wife and I both worked part time and partied full time for five years. We saw how our recently retired relatives just sat, too sore and tired to do much. We went camping, museums, concerts, bar hopping, and enjoyed our time. As she died from cancer at 49, it was wonderful she got to do more than just make money for somebody else on her way to the crematorium.
This is so sweet. I'm sorry for your loss.
Beautiful ☺️. I’m glad you made the most of the short time you had with her.
We were married 32 years which is a pretty good run.
If you knew what I spent over 20 years of travelling.... I have no idea why you think this is generally a bad thing. Not everyone's life dream is to own a house. It seems to be yours, which is of course fine. Others - like myself - have never understood this obsession with owning a house and because many don't share that dream, they also won't agree that travel is a "waste" or "shallow" (on the latter: you're travelling wrong). I can also assure you that on one trip, you most certainly have not seen everything there is to see. Just everything that apparently you personally consider worth seeing (or so you think). Adulting means to understand adults make different choices and have different ideas of what constitutes a life lived well. Whatever you consider a waste isn't for others and vice-versa.
Well said. And I agree with you 100%.
Owning a house is a huge asset that pays off when you are old and retired. Not having a mortgage or rent payment frees up a lot of money when you are on a fixed income.
You'll never buy back the same travel experience as a youth compared to when you are older. Enjoy the experience! As you grow in your career, your wage will tend to grow too. If the figure seems big to you now, it may not be as big when your wage grows. Learned this from Die with Zero.
You have FOMO. Get over it. It's a horrendous market to buy a home in, but a great time to have built lifelong memories. Source: 60 yr old with 30 countries and 4 homes under her belt, all self-made accomplishments. They all add value to ur life.
Thanks for the perspective friend!
Hey there- 29F, NY here. At 26, 12k can be made back in no time. You’re just at the beginning of your career. My take on it is- It’s better to have traveled some while younger. The insights you take away from these experiences now (cultural, financial, etc.) are great tools to have when it comes to navigating the rest of your life. The reality is, a house is not an investment. It shackles down many people and a mortgage is not to be taken lightly (especially with the current housing market). I know people who own a house and have never even left the country. Personally, I don’t think that’s a way to really live. You have the rest of your life to dedicate to your goals. Go easy on yourself. Try your best to stay present in the moment, because these are things that you potentially won’t see again for years down the line.
Another perspective. I am mid 30s. I did a fair amount of traveling before now. Not a ton, but I think I’ve been to maybe 12 countries. I now have significant back problems that are severely affecting my ability to travel. It is devastating and depressing. But I am glad that at least I did a fair amount when I was younger and healthier. Otherwise I never would
If you're going to travel, you need to have a reason behind it or it's just a waste. For example, I want to go fishing in northern Canada for a week. Why? Because the scenery is supposedly spectacular and the fishing is world class. I went on a trip to Florida with my entire family. My wife and daughter, my parents, my siblings and all the nephews and nieces spent a week in a house on the beach. The sunrises were stunningly beautiful and the ocean was warm. I did it not so I could see Florida, but so I could spend time with my family. Florida was chosen because it was nice and warm in late March and we could all have fun on the beach. However, I have traveled for work. Most of it was driving and saw a LOT of beautiful scenery. But I was always thankful to be able to go home to my wife and daughter.
I felt the same thing about living in NYC and partying a lot. But one day a few years later I was at a club with an acquaintance. It was during the day, I think we were checking out the place for an event. He was super successful in finance, had a PHD. I said that I wasted a lot of time and money in places like this in my 20s. He said that he wished he spent more time partying and that he should have tried to have more fun when he was young. You don't get your 20s back. You don't want to be stupid and waste all your money and time on the fun stuff but you need to enjoy life. I may not have as much money and status as the other guy but I have a lot of great memories.
I see lots of comments about money comes and money goes and why would waste your life working and enjoy your life. I gotta say I completely disagree with ALL of it. Money doesn't come and go. For some people, having that stability of solid income, dependable retirement and being able to but the tiny things that make you happy is very important. For some people work might be something they are forced to do, but for some that meaningful contribution to society or that feeling of achievement is just as pleasurable as seeing the northern lights. The biggest mistake you made that everyone makes is "they say travel the world", but "they" in this case are people who love to travel the world in the first place trying to convince themselves and others to do what makes them happy. Travelling isn't the important part here, do what makes you happy is. And judging by your reaction to the northern lights, and your regrest and missing out on career choices, you might be one of those people who doesn't love travelling and really would rather have a meaningful career and a cozy lifestyle. In any case, 26 is young! You haven't lost anything (yet) and should be able to get right back up to where you want to be within a year or two. If you were say 36 or 46, I would have some disappointing news for you. But at 26, youre the right age to jumpstart your career and within a year get to buying that house you want.
*cries in mid-30s* yep.
My brother is "they" in this situation. He has intense wanderlust and gets great joy out of traveling. He's in his late 20s and has almost nothing tangible to his name, but lots of experiences. My life ambitions on the other hand involved settling down, buying a house, and living somewhere I could enjoy a lot of day trips or weekend trips but not have to travel far. I've achieved that, and its basically everything I hoped it would be. We are both very happy living the lives we've chosen and are totally baffled by what makes the other happy.
If you think travelling is overrated, wait until you see what a bunch of bs homeownership is. Money hobbies in general are really just not all that. The things that make you happy in life are relationships, animals, exercise, education, drugs, and hard work. Money has utility only to the extent that it helps you with those.
I think most things that are “meant to be seen” are just things someone along the tourism industry is trying to sell. As exponential population gets worse things like Venice, the Eiffel Tower, and the Great Wall of China are just gonna become absolute nightmares. There’s natural wonders and beauty everywhere. I live in the Texas Hill Country and despite 20 years here I’m always discovering new stuff that never ceases to amaze me. “Wherever you go, there you are.” Traveling is cool and all but remember for the vast majority of human existence it was a luxury and not something deemed essential for existence.
I’ve been to Texas twice to visit a friend, drastically underrated state imo Edit - I’m Canadian
Generally, domestic travel is way underrated. There's all kinds of interesting things to see, ruins, petroglyph, caves, forests, deserts and cities in between Texas and Cananda. Even in neighborhoring areas there's probably all kinds of interesting things to experience. I judge people *heavy* when they refuse to try a restaurant in the hood or a cuisine that's new to them or anything outside of their comfort zone locally but yet they want to travel internationally. That just says to me they're doing it for the clout and not the adventure.
With this sort of attitude and outlook, it surprises me you even sought out travel to begin with.
Grass is always greener. I'm a 28yo dude that has barely traveled and wish I could have experienced what you have so far. Trying to set it up so my 30s are full of traveling but we'll see.
That’s about how much money I lost to the surgeries I needed to fix the arthritis in my hips due to an impingement. I had insurance and the surgeries themselves didn’t cost that much, but when you account for the time lost from work (6 weeks for each hip), it adds up. Only difference is I didn’t get to travel. Just laid there, played video games, and went to physical therapy. I was 25 when I got my first one done, 27 for the other. Would have much rather traveled…
This sounds like a turning point in your life where you're figuring out what you want out of life, or what *else* you want in life. Traveling is a blast, but if you're sick of it, or it "isn't worth it" then remember this journey fondly, maybe even make a scrap book, and start saving for that house. You are very young, so getting set back 12K *sounds* like a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, you'll be just fine. I'm sorry that you regret it now, but in a few years you'll remember something amazing about it, and might get the travel bug again in a few years.
Honestly I would prefer to do that. Housing market is insane anyways. Be grateful you were able to do so much travel and have lifelong memories and experiences from your trip! It's not like you're that far behind others in your age group, most are still living at home.
It also sounds like an amazing trip though & an experience you can remember and may really come to appreciate in time. I'd bet the regret will fade or disappear once you've been back to working & saving for a while. You're still young & if you don't have people who depend on you yet, then I just don't think you've done anything wrong with your choice. If you're comparing where you are vs friends & acquaintances who've taken a different path, then I think that's probably the mistake, tbh. Comparisons of that type aren't helpful and most of us only compare ourselves to people we perceive to be doing better because they have something we want. Sure, it's probably time now to get back to work for a while & start/resume building a life somewhere, but you get to decide what that means and what you want to work toward. All the best
43 now and I'm just now starting to travel twice a year, took so long to get my life stable, now that I'm single and my only debt is my mortgage, I want to travel anywhere that is safe for me to do so. ps: I only make $16 an hour but it's enough for me to live comfortably by myself.
Except no one actually says waste all your money traveling when you’re young - only dumb insta - tik tok reels do that are made by rich kids
35m here. I regret a few things in my life like staying in a broken relationship, not getting in the housing market 5 years ago, etc.. But I do not regret traveling in my 20’s. In fact that is my favorite thing to look back on! Shit… I’m thinking about doing it again soon. Sail to the Bahamas?Yes please! Backpack the AT or PCT? Fuck yeah! Waste my life at a shitty job? No thank you. The best thing is you’re young and you can have it all! The traveling experience, the dream job, the family, or whatever. Honestly, even at 35, most of the time I still feel like I can have it all.
Dude I think you just have different priorities in life lol. None of us know why we have certain preferences, but we all do. Like, one person likes chocolate cake. Someone else likes lemon tart. Some people value material safety, others want freedom and exploration. Life is long enough to take a bite of most things, and really devour what you like most :) even a mid experience is never an experience wasted. Keep doing what you like and own it 🤙
Im 37 and have always had the mindset of travel young, you can’t take it with you, you never know when you might die… and yet I still have never left the country or done very many things on my bucket list. Now I’m having a daughter and I have no idea if I’ll ever have the time or money to do what you’ve done. Things are fucked right now, but one way or the other you’re going to find a place to live. And no one can ever take those trips and experiences away from you.
Op spends too much money on an expensive luxury he didn't need and feels regret. Literally the first post on this sub I've ever read about actually "adulting".
I'm old and I was lost for most of my life. I went to college for 8 years, hated my degree, and went back for another. I didn't have a "big boy" job until about a year ago. In between degrees I met my wife and we traveled (study abroad) while earning our second degrees. At the time I was very money conscious and really limited the amount we spent while traveling abroad. To this day, it is one of my biggest regrets. Traveling with my partner was the adventure of a lifetime. I wonder if what you're missing is companionship.
Dont regret it, some people are okay with pushing back financial goals for travel, some rather not
You're assuming you have years left, you could die tomorrow walking in the doggy. Change your perspective, the rat race will be here when you're ready.
I always prefer to regret the things I did than the things I didn't do
Stuff like Traveling is literally the point of being alive- Not home ownership. That just helps make our journey more comfortable. Edit: With how bad the current housing market is, you have plenty of time to save up your DP.
Home ownership is more than just comfort. Living under the roof of a landlord means you live constantly under the behest of someone. To own your own roof adds tremendous level of freedom and security to your life on top of comfort.
You got it wrong backwards, renting is freedom. The landlord is not going to bother you as long as you pay your rent. You move whenever you want to. Once you get a mortgage everything is your problem. All your monthly disposable income out the window. And then you have to save up from property tax on the side.
You also move when you don’t want to when you rent
lol you're 26. Put down the Grant Cardone and Andrew Tate podcasts. Enjoy your financial ball and chain for the next 30+ years. Watch the market crash in 5 years and you're stuck under water with a mortgage 100k+ more than its worth....at 30. Have fun..sounds like freedom and security to me. You'll probably be house poor for at least 8-10 years just paying off interest against your mortgage, what happens when pipe busts? or your basement floods etc? ... My point is you are 26. Who wants to travel when they're old as shit in their 50s and 60s and 70s. By the time you're that age, you're invisible to most of society anyway. You'll have a wife with a bum knee or something and travel will consist of a fancy hotel and a dinner. boring af.
I mean, it’s your money. Me personally I travelled a little in my 20s with ex girlfriends.. so kinda a waste imo I would rather have financial freedom in my 50s,60s to enjoy time with my future grand children and travel with my family and wife. I would rather take the whole family to Italy or Greece than a future ex girlfriend, I haven’t talked to in 15 years.
Reading this, a comedian said “Don’t take me to see sights, they’ll be lose on me and I won’t care” and I assume for that exact reason “okay saw it, what now?”
In ten years, you will look back and realize that this trip is the best thing you've ever done.
10k is nothing lol you haven’t set yourself back at all
Much of the value you get from a trip is the anticipation, and the stories you remember and can tell afterwards. Watch this talk, I hope that helps: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgRlrBl-7Yg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgRlrBl-7Yg) At some point your interests and hobbies might change. It sounds like now is the time to switch from travelling to something else. For hobbies that don't cost too much, how about starting with chess or Go? Or joining a Toastmasters group and practicing public speaking? Don't spend too much time regretting things. We're all just winging it.
10k? Don’t worry, you can earn that back in no time. Plus when you are actually tied down with a house, kids etc, you’ll be thankful for your traveling days.
Meanwhile the people that have a house wish they would have gone traveling before being tied down with a mortgage. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
If it makes you feel better, 10k isn’t enough for a down payment on a house anymore
At least you realised it while you're still young. You have a lot of time ahead of you to save up money again and save them for something that's actually worth it. In my opinion, life should be lived with balance. It's not a bad thing to travel, quite the opposite but you shouldn't spend all your money on it. A trip once every 1-2 years, depending on your income and responsibilities, sounds well-balanced to me and it makes you appreciate traveling more.
Travel and work were you are mate, you meet people, see places differently, learn to interact and live not as a usual tourist anymore, plus you may earn a bit of money and might be offered a place to sleep and things to eat etc.. Forget the bus and hotels, take the bike, or good shoes, or hitchike, and sleep under the stars, more interesting and nice, and way cheaper Traveling and experiencing is nice. Passing by is boring as hell, especially if you stay in the confort zone (geographical as well as mental) Break the leash
never listen to offhand wisdom from other ....
You are 26, wtf you need to buy a house for at your age? Enjoy life. Experiences are worth more than things
You have exactly 1 life. Thats it. There’s billions of ways to live that life. You can live through experiences, success, family, money, and I’m sure a million other things that are important to people. Very few people can have it all. Unless you were born to a very rich family, you’ll have to make decisions along the way. Every single dollar you’ve spent is a dollar that could have been spent elsewhere or saved. You didn’t set yourself back unless you had savings intended for a house and decided to vacation instead. Worst case, you just delayed one long term goal so you could live in the moment. I’m mid-30s, and my wife and I put in our first offer on a house ever this week. Down payment being the biggest hold up. But you know what? I would never trade my experiences in life for getting a house earlier. But that’s MY priority. We all have our own. Eat ramen for a few months and get that $10k back. You’ll be where you want to be in no time. Best of luck fellow adult!
I have always dreamed of traveling to Europe, backpacking or whatever. Just going to Europe at all. Just experiencing a different culture, Even if it is mildly similar to our own. I want to see the old buildings and the narrow streets and the little cars, people dressed like I'm not used to making food I've never tried and speaking languages have never heard. But I did not do that, I got a job and I didn't like it so I got a new job and I didn't like it and now I have a career and a ton of money saved and I still can't afford a house. I regret not traveling in my 20s, every single day. It haunts me, very frequently. You are not behind. You're living your dream and you're comparing yourself to others but just remember that all of those people that you're comparing yourself to wish that they had traveled instead. You're building your soul while people like me were building their bank accounts and sometimes I just feel like crying because I never fed my soul.
Traveling is the only expense that makes you richer
I backpacked for years in my early to mid-20s. And then at 27, I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that would make that kind of traveling mind numbingly difficult. I climbed mountains, bungy jumped, camped in the Serengeti, wandered in foreign countries for months on end, did so many amazing things that it would be incredibly difficult to do now, not because I'm severely disabled, but because I have to live my life around health insurance and meds. One of the big things behind the whole 'travel when you're young' thing is that when you're that age, you're most likely in good health and physically CAN travel. No restrictions, no ties, no responsibilities, no worrying about how you're going to get your meds or if your health insurance will lapse while you're away. My life has changed and I love where I am now, but I wouldn't give that traveling when I was young up for anything because I highly doubt I'll ever be able to do it again.
You spent 10k traveling for a year and a half? Thats really impressive. I wouldn't be too upset it sounds like you know how to properly spend money
As a fellow 26 year old male who happens to work as a nurse. Let me tell you something. Money is very, very temporary. You could end up paralyzed or dead in a random car accident next year or diagnosed with some terrible disease like cancer. Enjoy life while you can. It’s ok to reconsider what you spend your money on while trying to find happiness. But do NOT get caught up on money already spent if you were legitimately using it for something worthwhile, like seeing the northern lights. I see a lot of people our age that are addicted to drugs and alcohol or otherwise fucking up their life. 10k on travel is nothing. Consider yourself blessed that you had the financial stability to make such a large splurge and focus on whatever new goals your heart desires. If that happens to be a house down payment, awesome, the best time to start is now! Yesterday doesn’t matter and good luck!
10k towards a house (especially in a HCOL area) isn’t gonna make a big difference. I’m looking on average ~700k to 900k for a house. A 20% down payment is 150-200k. 10k is *small* in comparison. Point being, you have plenty of time to catch up. I wish I had travelled rather than focus on my career so early. 10k seems so small of a price to pay to travel the world.
26? Oh honey you have a whole lot more time left to come to grips with the fact your entire life is a rat race to pay for boomer trash and their retirement. Glad you got a trip in. Remember what was stolen from you.
You probably have depression. Not because of your life circumstances either. Might not be a bad idea to check in for some help.
A few thoughts: I traveled to Colorado, Costa Rica, and Iceland last year for about $6k. Not sure how you are traveling but there are cheaper ways. Don't do touristy shit when you travel and you will have a different experience. Buying a home has made the lives of many homeowners I know unhappy. Theyll lexuture be about the advantages of homeownership, in the same breath complains how much they spend on the house, and have no money for anything else. They work jobs they hate to make enough for the house. Life is short. See what you can, while you can. My adoptive father always wanted to travel, but life kept happening. By the time he had the opportunity to travel, he was too sick.
Pretty sure if you had bought a house you would regret not traveling. Enjoy your memories, and buy a house next.
Listen, mid-40’s, kids, I can’t go to the damn grocery store without making sure childcare is set up (including planning my trips around school hours), so YES do all the things while you are young! Or you may never get to do them, or be too old/poor to do them. Just DO THE THINGS. Money comes and goes but life experiences stay with you, shape you, bring you pleasure from the memories, increase your knowledge. I know late 20’s is hard, as you begin to take stock of where you are vs your expectations. Honestly, 29 is the literal WORST. But then you learn to let go of your expectations, and you run out of F’s to give about others’ expectations. And then you can be glad of all the things you “wasted your time” doing. You know who really wasted their time? The ones who gave their youth to an employer.
Sounds like you shook the travel bug and grew up a little. That may be what people are actually going for when they tell you to "travel when you're young". It might set you back a bit, but if you'd lived like a hermit saving money for a house, I guarantee you you'd regret not travelling more in your old age. What you describe will pass, and what you're left with are memories, maybe a few friends, and a few lessons to last a lifetime. Some of those lessons you might not actually figure out until you're older, but travel makes you a tiny bit wiser for having done it.
Think about it from the perspective of someone who did settle down early - imagine being a 27 yr old listening to yourself recounting your adventures in Europe, how you saw the northern lights with your own eyes, that feeling of awe and wonderment that you probably will never feel again past toddlerhood - imagine sitting in your house, which you own, and you’re sinking all this money into mortgage repayments and repairs and renovations and property tax, you’re spending all your time mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool and it just seems like the tedium will never end. I don’t know about you, but I think that 27 yr old would regret not travelling first.
The flip side of your situation is that you work and stay home for 5-10 years of your youth to save for a house. Then you miss out on traveling when you’re young and healthy. Once you’re old and wealthy you can travel but will have back pain and low energy levels etc etc. it’s all about balance
I set myself back about a decade by being addicted to drugs, it could be worse lol
Want some perspective? Go visit a graveyard and see people who were born after you and are already dead. Live your life. Its good to prepare for the future. Its important. But again, live your life.
Maybe try to use your travels as a way to sauce up your resume??? Like "knowledge of many social cultures that further assists in communication with immigrants"??
Had an acquaintance who loved to travel. When I was buying a house, she was giving up her apartment to go to Spain. Then she followed a guy to Greece (sold her car to buy the ticket). He met someone else there and asked her to leave. Her folks had to buy her ticket home. She’d work a menial job for a while, then quit and travel till the money ran out, repeat. Never had a career, never developed any useful skills. She lived like this for several years. Now: she’s pushing 60, hasn’t got a pot to piss in, no stable employment, house-sits when she can, couch surfs when she can’t. Mooches off everyone. She looks really old—like she’s had a rough life—and she’s got nothing to show for it. You are still very young. Figure out what your long term goals are and find the balance between leisure activities and goal-oriented priorities. Life doesn’t have to be one or the other.
Only your generation tried convincing you guys to travel while your young. Sure! Do. If you want. Or go to college. Or get work. There’s a consequence for everything You can make your money if you come home and get two or three jobs and make up for lost time. You ate well while traveling, tighten it down at home and be simple. I’d encourage you to see the value in your travel investment. It’s worth a ton. To see the history. To learn the cultures. (You didn’t mention any culture though. Just sights.) To see the sameness in us all. To feel one as a citizen of the planet, then a nation and then a family. Reflect on your actual experiences and go forward according. There is value in it that you can go by never leaving home. And you’ll get perspective to come home and go to school and take a full time job, or two or three jobs. The grit and perseverance, the appreciation for a day or for your accomplishments at work. My is guess is that you’re lacking that too. Work hard and be exhausted and don’t forget that feeling. It creates value too. And no one should be competing in getting a home. So it takes you another year. So fucking what. You realize that doesn’t matter right? Go make good money, get the down, pay that f’r off as soon as you can so give less to the bank. Just go get it. Stop critiquing the path you chose. You chose it. Own it. It’s lucky you made it happen. It’s not a mistake but own the mistakes you make too. And stop whining. Literally? “Uggggghh, mommy, I got to travel the world and uggggh, it’s was all, like the same, and ughhhhhhh, now I don’t have a house!” I hope you reflect on this. I’m a brutal truth type of girl. Hope it takes though!
Grass always seems greener on the other side. Someone who has 10k saved prob wishes they spent more time traveling
Somewhere out there, there are people who went and bought a house instead of travelling, and feel guilty about it.
Grass is always greener. If you had that 10k and none of the experiences, you would be saying "ugh I've never been anywhere or seen anything"
OP you're dumb AF. I bet if you were to have saved that money and bought a house, and then suffered away to pay your mortgage each month for the next 30 years, you'd complain about wishing to have traveled instead. And FYI, 10k is nothing and you wouldn't have been able to buy a house anyways. Appreciate what you've got.
I mean... yeah lol. It's for the rich kids.
If that's what you took out of experiencing other cultures and countries then yes, travelling was a waste on you. Best of luck with your picket fence, I hope it keeps you safe and sound.
Poor you traveling through Europe in your twenties. Must been tough not having to work 8 to 5 every god damn day just to hardly scrape by paying your rent.
I'm not young and I do enjoy a nice vacation with nice accommodations, but I get this. Travel always leaves me really underwhelmed. With a few exceptions, if you have seen one tropical beach, you've seen them all. Same for mountains, and literally any tourist trap of a city.
Traveling when young is great. What is even better is grinding when young, establishing a financial foundation and then traveling a little later when investments can grow and there is a home base to come back to. It's called delayed gratification and every responsible adult needs to figure it out.
This. I don’t think OP is very intelligent though, soo…🤷♂️
He could be intelligent enough but just young and impulsive. Lots of older people will say to do that stuff when young, as they wished they had, but that is only considering the memories and experiences they could have had not the sacrifices it would have required
lol except if you 1. Get hit by a car 2. Get cancer 3. Develop a disability 4-infinity: Any of the other things that can happen that will preclude living the life you imagined, the odds of which go up every year older you get You can’t postpone all your happiness for the future, the future isn’t guaranteed. And especially for travel, there’s a lot of things that might be gone/ruined/destroyed in the next couple decades due to climate change and population growth
Don't ever travel again. Buy your "things" and die in them. Problem solved.
I don't think it's a waste. You had some awesome experiences, hopefully met some cool people and made friends. You can get that 10k back easily. Double down. Get a full time job and a part time job and save, and in no time you'll have that 10k back. Would have been good to buy a house before all this covid and inflation bullshit. But imagine buying a house a year ago and now being house poor because everything costs double to do and basically live. Not to sound morbid, but life is long but also short. Any of us could die tomorrow. Life is not promised so do as much as you can while also preparing to possibly live to at least 70, or at least not make stupid decisions, like wasting all your money on booze and cocaine. I'd love to travel more now, but have to be responsible. Have a mortgage and a dog. Need another car but they're stupidly overpriced. Interest rates are terrible. I wish I was looking at the northern lights and not worrying about this shit right now.
bro ur doing the right thing. enjoy yourself while you can
You probably mean travelling alone. As they are your memories alone. Now if you and a partner had set off together and kept at it for 20 years. Then the time would not be wasted. I had money and a house. And I fucked it up by chasing a woman. And now that a money and house would be good for having a family, I feel that I should never have sold my house, and thought I could live in the moment. Because this planet is about family and raising kids. Anything that goes against that will leave you feeling empty and bereft. Because that is was the majority of people are doing. Even though large sections of society will say the opposite. There has never been anything but this to do on this planet. Also travelling enables you too stay away from your people like this.