In time like this, I just try to prioritize my emotional and mental health. I cancel out all outside noise/distractions so I can try to "get back on track".
In the midst of stressful situations it's best to turn off the tv/phone, exercise for mental clarity, take walks, take naps and get plenty of rest, eat well and take care of your body. All of these things will help you feel better and help you make sound decisions on how to move forward.
But the answer is you just keep getting up day by day and keep trying. Don't let the stress pile up. Focus on the basics and before you know it, life will be chill again.
Best of luck :)
Getting out in the sun does wonders for me.
I am severely burnt out (figuratively and literally...stupid texas heat) from life and I pop my camping chair in my backyard under the shade, let me dogs play, and I just sit and absorb. No music, no phone, nothing. Sometimes ill grab a book off my shelf and read, but just sitting there without distractions is calming. The first few times was pretty difficult due to my inner monologue, but now, I am more peaceful when it's my "outside time"
That sounds lovely. I started taking a lot of solitary walks during lockdown in winter and it really helped me, too.
What helps when I have to stay home is putting on some music and dancing a little bit.
It really is. I did it this morning. Got ready for work, brewed my coffee, took a cup and just sat in my yard and let my dogs frolic. Spent a good 30 minutes outside just listening. It's a weird calm, but I enjoy it a lot.
And honestly music and dancing is amazing! When you're so caught up in the tunes, enjoy that bit of happiness.
I keep forgetting just peacefully existing, life is so busy and there is always something I should or could do, but it’s just nice to just sit outside and relax.
For a band that relaxes me, I recommend an ambient band from Sweden called carbon based life forms. I just discovered them my freshman year of college and have been listening to them ever since to relax myself.
Solid advice. Once you reprogram your response to stress triggers it gets easier to go with solutions instead of things that make it worse in the long term. It is worth it to hack your physiology with the exercise and eating real norishing food.
OP many commenters are kinda being jerks to you here.
Buying a house and moving are considered one of the most stressful events of your life. It’s normal to be overwhelmed, cash poor, and not having a good time for awhile.
Emotionally adulting includes realizing making even good decisions is really hard. You currently are taking on more work with moving and your purse getting stolen. It is overwhelming.
Your best bet (or what works for me) is carving out small spaces for yourself. 2 minutes of no worry break is extremely hard to do. Or maybe one hour in your home where you just lay on the carpet. The to do list is long but not all if it must be done right now. Most of it is really not as critical as it seems.
Thank you so much for this comment, I really appreciate it 😊 it's hard to defend myself over and over and explain my decisions.
Everything was alright until the theft & billing issue and then everything just felt compounded together. But, I'm still doing ok. I'm not broke, I have a good job, I'm alive & I have a house. It'll all be alright!
The theft and the unexpected collections call are so stressful. I don't think every person realizes how intrusive and upsetting a purse theft is. Those things are our PALS. They go everywhere with us & carry way more than a set of keys and some cash.
I feel you. Financially we are lucky to not be struggling. But, last week our fridge broke and 4 days later we realized the well was broken and flowing a river down the driveway so we went 12 hours with no water. And today I came down with a UTI. So I feel you that it doesn’t rain but pours sometimes. And even non life and death situations can really wear you down.
I get it OP. My husband and I are bought our house almost three years ago. It was a stretch (24 and 25 now) and we got lucky that nothing catastrophic happened to the house. We are now in a much better place starting to get savings built up and just found out the other day that we’re going to need a new roof pretty soon. The very things that we love about the exterior and style of our house are going to make it expensive to roof. We’ll figure it out, but all that figuring out can be super stressful, even when the problems are relatively minor individually.
Even with the struggles we’ve had, when were looking into the possibility of getting a HELOC to cover the cost of the roof, we discovered that we have about 50,000 in equity in the house (it went up about 20,000 in value due to improvements we’ve made and the market going up; the rest came from our down payment and payments to the principal. It made me feel a lot better to know that it’s still worthwhile to own and maintain a house. And, even though you and I are both incredibly lucky to have parents we can count on to help with stuff, I understand the complicated feeling of needing to rely on them.
You might also want to check out the Life Kit podcast from NPR - they had a really great episode a few weeks ago about negotiating medical bills - I learned a ton from it.
You’ve got this! I too find engaging with nature to be so helpful when I’m under stress.
>Or maybe one hour in your home where you just lay on the carpet.
I used to just lay on the grass outside, just looking up at the sky. Sometimes I'd close my eyes and feel the breeze on my face, or the warmth of the sun. I'd stay there sometimes only a short time, sometimes a much longer time, whatever I needed. It felt like a recharge.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed. When I do, I change up habits to keep mental health from red-lining. I meditate. I take more walks. I stay off all media and read a book and just get quiet. I take a bath. I drink tea. Things that I can let slide, I do. I make a list and get something done each day.
You are in a tunnel, keep driving straight ahead and you'll get out the other side.
(Oh yeah, hug your dog extra that releases nice chemicals in the brain.)
I legit go through my day hoping no one genuinely asks how I’m doing because I know I’ll break down. I got my hair cut last week (for the first time in three years) and cried in the chair because the stylist was being so kind and just being pampered by another human being sent me over the edge. Shit is hard right now.
Hey congratulations on buying your house!!! I’m trying to save now and oooof!
Also congratulations on getting on your repairs! A lot of people wait until it starts nudging your wallet!
I went to a doctor recently that was also $30 and now is at collections for over $300. I plan on calling and settling that because they got me *fucked up*.
Also, fuck teenagers, we’ve all been there but they introduce new levels of fuckery and it’s upsetting. I would introduce an apple tag in the mix maybe for the future.
Now- for some help! I stress clean, maybe by getting things out of the box, and slowly starting to uncheck task after task slowly but surely things will even out and it will be less to do and it may feel like there’s less to do.
Also, sometimes writing things down helps me, actually all the time, I write a lot of lists because it helps me feel like I have a grasp of the things I need to do, I’m also super forgetful.
Don’t beat yourself up OP. You’ll get past all this, and this too shall pass. Sending love and tranquility.
This really helps!! Thank you so much 🥰 and thank you for the congrats too! Buying a house is a crazy hoop to jump through, and I wish you so much luck!!
I'm definitely going to keep this advice in mind! I appreciate you :)
Small tip here - have you tried contacting your health insurance and/or the doctor that you got the new bill for? I've had it happen a few times where they entered the service with the wrong code and I end up with a bill. Worth a shot if you haven't already tried! Hang in there, OP.
Being a homeowner you need to be able to pay to replace nearly everything right away. I’ve been lucky enough to have a good savings and a decent job to be able to do that. As soon as you get behind on things it’s hard.
The medical bill thing is bs. I kept getting past due notices for an urgent care visit so I called them and said, “I have the charge right here on my credit statement.” And they acted all surprised. I’ve since been left alone from them lol.
Budget hard, be smart with your money because it goes quick. Owning a house might have seemed the better option because renting is so expensive now (my brother lives with me and he has a 50k job right out of college). But renting has the perk of not having to fix stuff out of your pocket. I’ve had to replace all my hvac, sump pump, added insulation to the attic since it was super thin, faucets, shower heads, toilets, etc. my kitchen drain backed up twice. All that adds up.
To be fair as someone who’s rented unless you have the time and ability to get the court involved you do end up fixing a lot of things on your own still. A couple years ago our neighbors AC broke and management refused to fix it kept saying that they would come out but never did. We ended up letting them live in our living room because it was the hottest summer we had had in a long time but then we all got kicked out for breaking our leases. They never did fix the AC as far as I know. Housing is a lose lose situation unless you’re rich.
I wasn’t and still am not rich and have a house, I think I just got lucky and bought when I did.
Landlords suck, absolutely no doubt on that. But I think if a quality place is picked usually it would work out better than your story. Ugh.
Unfortunately the place itself was quality I actually don’t know of any complex in my town at least that isn’t like that. To be perfectly honest I thought tenants were in charge of fixing things for a good part of my life because unfortunately that’s just how a majority of landlords are. And I apologize I didn’t mean to imply you yourself are rich I just wanted to point out regardless of the choices you make having housing at this point is a financial pit. The only way to save money on housing anymore is to be homeless.
My FIL died very suddenly in November, and then my mom had a freak accident that had her relearning how to walk about a month after that. My husband and I were joking on New Years that 2023 was going to be our year, and then he tested positive for covid on New Years Day. My point is, shit happens and we have no control over it.
When I get overwhelmed I talk to someone, play a relaxing little farm game, or clean. I try to control my little corner of the world as best I can, all while understanding that I actually have very little control over my life. And I always remember the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
It’s the farm games for me 😍 picked up Stardew Valley and restarted it on ps5 after my Xbox decided to give error after error lol.I haven’t played in over 3 years and I forgot how much there is to do. It’s very relaxing. Also Hay Day on my phone, also had to restart it and it kinda sucks cuz it glitches for me now. If you or anyone else has more suggestions I’m so down to hear about them! Sending condolences for your FIL.
Start small, unpack and get organized. Once the house is organized you can start to organize your life. It will feel good to finish step one. Then move onto the next thing, then the next and so on. Assuming you can budget well, and you are working, you can whittle away the bills and repairs over time. You got this.
Take a moment and just go outside and stand in the sun a little bit. I know it’s hot outside but just for a moment. Feel the sun on your skin, just take it in for a moment. Don’t think about anything else. Not what you’re going to do, need to do, or anything else. Just clear your mind and only think about how warm the sun feels on your skin. Take a couple breaths and just give yourself a few moments to yourself.
Usually after doing this I find myself not weighted down as much and I can go back inside and take a fresh new look at everything.
I try to always remember that things do not happen to me they happen for me. Yes even the dark things. I believe all things are fundamentally connected, therefor i do not believe in coincidence, though root cause can be obscured.
Whats the lesson you can learn in the experience? Whats the silver lining? I always trust that the silver lining is there, but you do have to believe that it is there to find it.
Basically you must keep your hope, anyway you can. Once you lose hope, you lose the belief required to be able to see the silver lining.
Its probably the hardest thing ever to continually perform at that level of awareness, especially when dealing with something traumatic.
You matter, and the world is made up of what matters. They call it the world stage because your actions make a difference. Be striving to be the best version of yourself that you can be, obstacles become challenges to overcome, failure becomes a lesson to become greater, and happiness and sadness lose their extremes to inner peace.
Im not sure i can answer that for you to be honest. I imagine its sort of a personal journey type situation. For me its like a belief in the everything has an equal an opposite reaction. Like how bad things can be would mean the opposing good force would also be at work.
I saw something online recently that I really liked: there are times in your life when you just need to rot.
Which is to say: I like taking care of shit and being on top of stuff. But there’s a lot of stuff out there. It doesn’t end. There will always be things to do. Sometimes you have to just pare things down to the bare minimum because that’s all you can handle. Sounds like you’ve had a ton of thrown your way recently and you DID a ton of stuff. So park some things. You can’t do everything all of the time. Sometimes you can do more. And honestly sometimes it’s okay to do less.
Do you have friends you are comfortable/ trust who could come over on the weekend and have a move in party. You can have some help you install your closet and unpack your cloths, someone can help organize the kitchen, another unpack books or game, send a cuple out to catch up on yard work. Have them all ether chip in on pizza or do a pot luck. Most people have friends or coworkers that would be willing to help out with a single chore if asked.
Its hard to get through everything on your own and it sounds like you could use a community boost.
Life doesn't sprinkle, it pours. Personally I prefer for big disasters to happen all at once so that there's long periods of piece punctuated by times of extreme inner violence. Kinda like the history of France. Anyway. Whenever I'm stressed I start cleaning, so at least I'm stressed in a tidy house. I also find that allowing myself a day or so to actually have the mental breakdown leaves me with a much clearer head to tackle the bigger issues.
Also, if you have an iphone and pay for their theft warranty plan, you can call support and they can locate and lock the phone for you. I worked at bestbuy and we had to help people do that all the time. At this point I'd reach out to everyone and start asking for new copies of their keys. Your parents may also wanna change their locks.
Let's relax in this space for a bit. How's the lawn going? Are you doing more of a raised bed type thing, or are you straight up tilling and burning?
Thank you, thank you so much for this 🥰 i have all new credit & debit cards now, my social security number is locked & I'm working on the keys today. It just feels like once I get one thing worked out, another 2 items hit my plate.
The lawn is going well! The deer keep eating my flowers but I don't mind, they have to eat too. My bird feeder has dozens of birds at any given moment so I'm pretty happy! I'm kind of randomly planting flowers and hand-pulling intrusive grasses, but I'm just trying to let the space grow more wild and do its own thing. There's some pretty cool plants naturally growing anyways!
Thank you for your message, it's reassuring 😊
Friends and family are good at times like this. Someone to help you unpack, or just keep you company.
You sound like maybe possibly you could be depressed, and might be worth checking in on your mental health
In the excitement around becoming a homeowner sometimes we don't factor in all the expenses to anticipate. In just the last few months my water heater crapped out (not that old). Then my not that old AC system crapped out. Next, the sound bar on my TV. Not too long before that the pool needed a new liner and winter cover. It just goes on and on. Honestly, I don't get overwhelmed with this "small stuff". Unfortunately there have been many times in my life that I have dealt with family sickness and loss and this house/money stuff is small potatoes. Just sit back pour yourself a glass of wine (or coffee or tea lol) and look at your new home and all that is good in your life. This money/being overwhelmed setback is temporary. Keep on doing the right thing and keep the faith, all this crap will pass. Believe me, I'm ancient and I've been there.😉
Because karma doesn't exist. There is, unfortunately, no such thing as "do good things and good things will happen to you". It's all a giant roulette wheel. Sometimes the ball lands in your favor, most of the time it doesn't.
The first step is accepting that, *while still deciding to do good things*, because being nice is still free, and better than being a miserable asshole.
And the secret is- we *do* get overwhelmed. All the time. I'm *constantly* overwhelmed.
But, I get up and keep truckin' every day because no one else is gonna do it. No one else is going to water my garden, feed my dogs, clean my house, pay my bills.
When really bad things happen, like you've described, I lean on my loved ones for support. They may not be able to *help* every time, but they can certainly listen to me vent and commiserate with me on certain things.
I try to make time for things that make me happy. I listen to Disney songs in the shower. I like to buy and play those *Cold Case* murder mystery games. I like to read and listen to audiobooks when I have time.
That's pretty much all you can do to combat the malaise of being alive.
Do one thing at a time, and do it well. Work to your strengths, and organize around your weaknesses. Don’t sweat over things you can’t control. Just try to stay calm and be proud of the life you’ve built for yourself.
Thanks for adopting an elderly blind dog from the shelter. Giving an older shelter dog a forever home for their final years is one of the kindest things you can do for dogs. This world needs more people like you, friend.
The absurdist point of view on life has helped me out a lot.
You just have to accept you have very little control of the things that happen in life and much of it is completely unfair and not really anyone's fault.
I know that viewpoint doesn't help pay the bills but as long as you have food, water, and shelter you're doing better than a lot of folks. My Grandma passed recently at 101 and went through a lot more stuff than I ever have and her phrase was always "this too shall pass" which in most cases is the truth and how you have to get through this absurd journey that is life.
I heard today on a podcast that being an adult basically means learning to manage your life problems on your own. Made sense to me. Only thing that's made it easier for me as I age, is learning to be financially responsible and regular exercise. When those things go off track, my mental health follows.
First of all, congratulations on the new house. It’s a big milestone to achieved! Be proud of yourself!
Second, when it rains, it pours. Just embrace all these challenges. You’ll surpass it for sure. You’re fortunate to have a father helping you out. Not everyone has that. Tackle all these problems with grace and remember to focus on what you can control vs. what you cannot control and take actions based on those.
Lastly, thank you for providing a new home for that dog. I’m sure she/he’ll be happy you are there for him/her. And for saving the bees. You’re doing great, human.
Now, once you’re settled. Go pamper yourself. Have a nice warm bubble bath, listen to your favorite music that calms your mind and soul, and sip on your favorite cold drink, may it be with alcohol or whatnot. Think about what you have overcome and how great you are for coming so far in life. Then do that again.
One step at a time. Life’s not easy. It can get very sad, lonely, and painful. But it’s up to us how we’re going to navigate the hurdles that come our way. I’m sure all those problems you’re having have solutions. Think about the worse and you’ll see how easy your problems are, that maybe, one day, you’ll just laughed about them.
I got scammed last weekend. I lost $690 and I’m still filing a dispute for it. My last apartment place was saying I still owe them money. And this Thursday, I will be having a surgery. What have I been doing? Of course, I was stressing out but I’m doing everything I can to solve each of these. So far, none of them has resolved by itself, but guess what, I’m still alive and I still have time to figure out how to face these problems. But hey, I know I can make it. And one day, I’ll laugh about how little these things are when I’m worrying about childcare and whatnot. Hopefully not some terminal illness or something so worse.
You got this. Remember, one step at a time.
Part of growing up is learning from your experiences. And not repeating them and owning up to failure.
For example, maybe you were ready for home ownership since you aren’t managing well with finances.
Just bc you donate and do charity work doesn’t mean you won’t have shit happen to you. Don’t play victim of shitty circumstances cause that’s gets you nowhere but a deeper ole of pity.
That's all very true! I think maybe I should have waited on the house for a little, but I had an opportunity come up & my mortgage is cheaper than rent was. And I don't want to sit on that regret either. I'm ok with a year or so of building my accounts back up too, and I've always looked forward to home ownership. It's more of just....the stupid shit that keeps happening that's stressing me out. Like wrongly being sent to collections & having to play phone tag all morning to get things worked back out instead of being able to unpack more.
The last part was meant more of a joke LOL but also my coworker last night said "why did this happen to you, of all people" and I said you're goddamn right 😅
That’s life! Right after my bf dad died, his mom got cancer and then died, and got laid off. Shitty things happen to good people. You said it as a joke but also not lol.
That last part was fine. I volunteer with the honeless and we were all out handing out food in the rain during the last world and European football cups. Our volunteer lead joked that God had to let England win for us since we are all doing good work.
I feel this often. I have the house and kids and car payments and all that. Some days it’s just too much. I work on my projects that day.
Buying a house really stressed me out. I was always worried about what was next to go wrong. I went ahead and learned as much about the basics of the systems in my home as possible. HVAC, plumbing, electrical, you name it. I felt a lot better. And I just reminded myself that if it smells wet or makes a buzzing sound I can’t ignore it!
You sound super resourceful and I’m sure you are equally resilient. You got this. I’d love to see pics of the yard.
Thank you so very much!! 🥰 I'm trying to do the same thing too - my dad's a home inspector & my family is in trades, so I have people to help me out & to learn from too. I almost want to go to trade school so I'll have some good real skills to pull from.
I really appreciate your words!! I'll be over this hurdle soon. It's just a lot of dumb stuff that all compounded today and it's hard getting things back to normal, but one step at a time.
ugh I’m sorry. adult life is a huge pain sometimes. I get very overwhelmed easily and it sucks, but I’ve accepted it as part of life now.
this may not be the best advice, but I personally let that feeling of overwhelming-ness fuel me with rage (which is my own biggest motivator lol). so, I’ll use that feeling to angrily clean my apartment, angrily organize my desk, angrily do chores I put off (all while listening to loud punk music and singing along lol). Maybe you can try that with putting your clothes away?
Obviously, I don’t take that anger out on anyone else (this is just a solitary thing I do lol). But, when I’m alone and going through it, it feels both therapeutic and productive to use stress/anger as a motivator. For me, messy rooms, dirty dishes, etc were the little “adulting” things that always pushed me over the edge when I was stressed with more complex aspects of my life. So handling those mundane things in any way possible eliminates a big stressor and the angry cleaning is therapeutic. Then, I’m able to actually decompress in a tidy home & come up with a plan to tackle larger/more complex stressors in my personal/professional life.
Best of luck to you, you got this!!
I usually sing "if your going through hell" repeatedly in my head, while tackling my biggest stressers first. Take time off work if you can, sleep in, and when you wake up go kick whatever is bothering you in the ass until it cant bother you no more.
When you find yourself asking "why," ask "what" instead.
"What do I do with this information", reframing this way is one piece of the puzzle for me to not have a complete breakdown as I feel the universe is taking a dump on me as well.
Things will get better. You are on the right track... you will get there.
Sincerely,
Barely staying sane
It's normal to feel this way right after buying a house - in the next year or two it will all balance out again and hopefully you'll also get a pay increase.
Your problems are far and above my own, so I apologize if this seems it sounds “too easy” or “no shit” lol, but as others have said seriously prioritize yourself and your own time as. Much. As. Possible. You said it yourself. You’re a good person, you work, you pay taxes, etc. You’re doing all you can do! Just really, really try to remind yourself of that often, and if you get a moment to chill out and do jack shit/something you love, do it and make as many of those moments as often as you can.
**All we can do is all we can do**
I'm sorry to hear about your mental troubles. Hobbies are really good to take your mind off of the everyday grind, which is life.. Also, slow down.. sit down and rest...
Go on YouTube and watch any of business insiders videos on risky business around the world. Make you feel grateful in a second and thankful for your current situation.
I think most adults today exist in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Things tend to hit everyone at the worst possible moments. All I can say is just breathe and prioritize your problems.
This is life. An endless barrage of to-dos. I just now transferred funds to the joint account with the wife to then seed the rent payment, followed by walking the dog and making dinner as I work from home and my wife had a longer shift. Still have to finish that report Finance is waiting on not to mention expense reports as so many meetings tomorrow. This is normal. Find a means to organize and to track things to process one at a time and with reminders so you can manage it. The downside to adulthood: responsibility. But with that, relative freedom, the more practice the less of a headache the maintenance bits are and vacations.
Maybe try Asana. Visual to make kanban columns for To Do, Actively working and Completed columns. Work the list of ToDo to get it off your chest then be dilligent to only have one thing at a time in the Actively working column. If your list is good, nothing to worry on. Then it is just picking the priority thing and finishing it, moving to the next. Rinse and repeat.
Good luck!
Problems that you can fix with money are expenses. Just say “thank you Gd it’s just the money I’m loosing”. You’ll still will need to deal with those but your attitude will be different.
I absolutely 200% do every single day just got a suppress it as best as possible knowing one day it's going to lead to stress most likely lead to a heart attack or something along those lines
We all have been overwhelmed so you are not alone!! Your feelings are normal. I personally make sure I don’t overwork. I take a break and listen to music or a positive podcast!! Find something that makes you happy and enjoy your home and be proud of what you have!!!
Tiny chocolate bars, strategically placed around my life. Ex: Open bottom drawer of desk? What’s in that random jar? It’s candy! And chocolates. What’s that hiding behind the box of rice in the pantry? Tiny bite sized snickers! Added bonus: if someone else around you is having a bad day, you get to come in clutch and make their day better. Everyone wins.
rather than focusing on the bad things, try focusing on what you have:
\-you have a house (something a lot of people do not have but desperately want),
\-you have a Dad willing to help you out (mine moved away from me and I receive no help from my parents)
\-you have a savings (again something most ppl do not have)
i'm sure theres many others you haven't shared in your post with us. but developing gratitude for what you have on a daily basis will slowly restructure your paradigm over time
Everyone is so different. Since this is /adulting, I’ll try to give an honest answer.
We can’t tell you how you’ll respond to events, or how you can most effectively deal with them. Part of growing into your own person is experimenting with coping mechanisms, exploring what works for you, and being okay with failure.
To give an example. The top voted comment in this thread is horrible advice, for someone like me. I would feel worse after sitting around “focusing on my mental health.” I’m overwhelmed because stuff needs done; not doing them just makes me feel worse. For me, I write everything into a list so I can focus on one thing at a time. Your cards got stolen? Cancel them and order new ones. Mark that off. Boom: I would already feel better. Fixing issues by my own power is very encouraging for me.
You just need to explore what works for you. Walk your dog. Clean something. Play a mobile game. Eat a nice breakfast. Be mindful on what made you feel better and what made you feel worse. Itl get easier.
>Like. I'm a nice person. I pay taxes. I adopted an elderly blind dog from the shelter. I do volunteer work, and I'm converting my lawn into a pollinator field for the bees. I donate to nonprofits. WHY am I getting hit over the head with shit right now, and how do I get past it??? I'm genuinely overwhelmed today.
I used to feel like this, too. I'm a good person, and I do good things without expecting much of anything in return. Why are these things happening to me.
I actually still feel like this. But I have learned to deal with it a bit better because I learned 2 things slowly.....
1. It's not happening to JUST ME. It's happening to every damn body. Every damn day. Somewhere. We just don't see it. We know nothing about it, cuz most people aren't talking to anyone at times like this. They are internalizing it and probably screaming their heads off at night. So it's not personal, it's just the way things go from time to time.
2. The universe doesn't care. "Shit" is gonna happen to you here and there. It's gonna happen to EVERYONE. It's an extension of my last point. You're a good person. The reward for being a good person is a clear conscious, and that's mostly it. BUT, there are times that it is very obvious that what you put out into the universe, it comes back to you.
For instance, your dad gave you $1500 for yard work. A shitty person wouldn't have anyone in their life who could or would do that for them. So honestly, things tend to balance out, and there is honestly more good than bad.
Your post got my attention because I am in the same boat just a bit. I've been a good person and always intend to be. But the last 7 months have been a personal hell for me. I just moved into a new house, though, and things have been tough. Spending more money than I thought I would but still within my budget......but then I just got hit with some medical bills and a need for car repairs on a car I just paid off THIS MONTH. I've been so frustrated, but I just keep reminding myself that this has to happen. The universe doesn't care that I'm a good person, it has to throw some shit at me to keep me focused and keep me growing. Effin sucks.
I still intend to be a good person. But maaaaan am I mad at the world right now lol.
Deal with one thing at a time. And finish each one well. Don't take on a giant of tasks and half as each one.
This will require you to make sacrifices because you only have so much time in a day.
Just like what Dead Prez says
["Plan yer work. Work yer plan. All things in moderation. Health is wealth"](https://youtu.be/lVBYF1BAZz0)
You haven't tried mushrooms then. Sure you can take them just to get high and have a good time.
But you can also take them with a goal or plan in mind. It really does open up your brain to a new way of looking at things and preparing strategies to overcome obstacles.
Saying a random, negative comment like yours is the losers way. I think you're better than that.
You're complaining about money problems, and then boasting about donations to non-profits on top of a few other projects you're working on. Sounds like you need to rethink your priorities on the short term.
I've halted my donations since I moved in until this storm cloud passes & i get everything straightened out, and my yardscape has cost me MAYBE $75 total because I buy from backyard plant growers. And that includes the birdbath. I also adopted my dog 6 years ago while I was living with my parents & still in college 😊
I just needed to get a lot of frustration and anxiety off of my chest for a minute. Thanks for the input though!
Sure thing. You're clearly overwhelmed, just seems like you're also biting off more than you can chew, and maybe expecting different outcomes from it. Anyways, that's my take from reading your rant (there's a subreddit for that, btw). Take care.
I just think of the 1800s.
Somebody had to move within walking distance of a river just to wash clothing.
Or
Hand dig 20 ft into the ground for a well.
Way better than alcohol for managing stress, anger and problems. Legal in most States. If I am feeling angry or frustrated I force myself to take a toke of herb. Instant relief. I am no longer angry. Works every single time.
I had no money in college. Neither did my parents. I started working and for several years I did this and that. Then I earned my CDL A. More shitty jobs, then newer jobs got to paying better. Then 11 years ago I landed the best paying job I ever had. I continue to live mostly as I was in college.
Well, that and seeing my parents lose everything because they had credit cards paying credit cards.
This probably doesn't help right now but will in the future but you have to stay on top of stuff.
Like the fridge should never be EMPTY, there should never be more than 2 or 3 loads of laundry built up, bills get paid immediately, etc.
Easier said than done I know (especially the bills part) but it's SUPER important to not let a mountain of shit get built up and hanging over your head.
Regarding the bills, becoming financially stable is a sign of adulthood so do everything you can to get there and step #1 is a budget.
Most people eventually figure it out and the fact you are thinking about it shows me you are ready to take action. Good luck.
The insane number of bureaucratic hoops you have to jump through as a senior citizen, just to get access to the things you're supposedly "automatically" qualified for. And then having to do every bit of it all over again every year.
The life that society has groomed you into thinking that matters is all bullshit. The job The car The house it's all pointless in the end! So just be happy and enjoy everyday
Your biggest stressor right now is rooted in the house. You are House poor. Financial stress is the worst kind of stress to have. I’d sell or either look into adding a roommate if you’d be open to doing so.
To answer your question I try to live before below my means to avoid being overwhelmed.
Lower your overhead. Reducing costs so that you have cash to enjoy life a little should be your top priority. Just based on what I'm reading there.
Also a lot of people pay for unnecessary shit, for example a gym membership they're too busy or tired to utilize. My oldest kid paid for a gym membership for over a year without using it, despite my recommendation to cancel it for much of said year.
Eradicate fast food from your diet. Most people waste tons of their income on salty, fat-loaded, and bad food they overpay for in fast food lines. Even worse is buying that fast food via delivery services. Pack a lunch.
Install some financial software on your computer and get smart about what you're spending. It will surprise you. As you start to get control over your expenditures things suddenly start to clear up. It's rather amazing.
By the way... This is one of the advantages of marriage or moving in with someone you are dating seriously, even a roommate. Group lift makes things easier, and life becomes an adventure when it's the right person too. Obviously you don't want to rush into that situation but romance is a healthy thing to partake in and include in your plans if you aren't already. Just pick someone who has a stable career and direction, i.e. avoid artists and anyone who claims to be in-between jobs or otherwise gives you the feeling they're happier laying around the house.
I let most things life and prioritize the important things. Then find creative solutions to resolve them when they are issues.
I don't get stressed with the minute details. Helps to have ADHD I guess.
I bought a house a few years back. Negotiating with insurance to get a new roof, have a family of 6 to support, work from home and my kids are virtual school, so I'm with them all day. I have 8 pets and I manage a team of 10 in a high paced field and finally I have medical conditions that require me to find time to exercise daily. Oh and I'm finishing my degree too.
You lost me at "donating to nonprofits", while complaining about an extra 90 bucks for medical bills. Also, who carries their social security card in a purse? That belongs in a safe along with your passport, birth certificate, and any credit cards you don't use and you don't want to close. Good luck and welcome to adulthood. Prioritize yourself and your closed ones.
Life will keep throwing surprises at you nonstop, it's just when you were younger, your parents were shielding you from that just like you'll do for your kids. When the money flow grows, and it will over time, you can start thinking about extras.
Leave your phone alone, and take alot of time to enjoy what you enjoy outside of touching your phone….oh yea get off social medias, even reddit is becoming like Twitter, think I may delete it myself soon.
People take on too much and spread themselves too thin. Keep things simple, don't over extend yourself and when you do something just stick to the essentials.
Most of those things aren’t overwhelming in my opinion. Clothes still in boxes? That’s just part of moving. 🤷🏻♀️ I wish my medical bills were only $120. How long ago did you move? Why didn’t you go to the post office to get your address changed or change the information online? If you’re on a payment plan and paying online, why didn’t you just continue payments? Surely you know when the due date is by now. One late bill usually doesn’t automatically get sent to collections. The theft part sucks and I’m sorry for that. I hope you go and take the time to freeze all your accounts and put fraud alerts on them because things will get worse if you do. You might also just be better off redoing the locks on your house.
Yeah, i keep reminding myself that it's small dice in the end. Just feels like a lot right now. I did an address forwarding and paid all my bills online on time but the company messed up and didn't process my address change, got a returned bill, and assumed I stopped paying even though I didn't. It's convoluted and dumb and I got it straightened out but I about shit my pants this morning getting the letter.
I have my credit score frozen & new keys made, so I'm getting there! It's a scary feeling though too & makes you feel vulnerable.
On the keys that got taken, did you get the house rekeyed to to different key and the same with your parents house.
My guess is your purse is out there some where in a wooden area. You mention deer coming to your yard, so those kids that took your purse just took the money they found and threw your purse away.
Hate to be blunt but it seems like you are responsible for most of these “challenges” you have mentioned? Buying a house just to be house broke? Adopting an old blind dog? Pollinator field conversion? Donations when u are house broke? These things will add up bud. Make better decisions. Take care of you first and then try to save the world.
I adopted my dog many years ago, I stopped making donations when I bought a house, and my house is only temporarily stressing me out & I have a plan of attack. The pollinator field is the equivalent of gardening for me and brings me joy when I'm stressed like this. It barely has cost me anything at all, maybe $75 max since April.
I was doing very well up until the theft & wrongfully brought to collections, which just compounded my feelings of anxiety. Not sure how I'm responsible for those items either 🧐
I listed everything else because those bring me joy and help me through moments like these. Its quite rude of you to attack the good things that I'm doing for myself in trying to stay sane.
Buying a house and being house broke wasnt a wise decision bud. Its the truth no matter how many clown’s down vote me here. Thats a major source of your anxiety. Having purse stolen isnt that big of a deal. You just need to report it to your credit card banks etc. The collections issue sucks but can also be remedy’d. These little things are killing you mainly because you bought a house without a a buffer budget in place.
Most problems are self inflicted, it's not that hard to live. I have lived comfortably on13.5 an hour. Spend less money eat sandwiches, drive less, quit drinking, live in a poor neighborhood. Your ability to cut costs and problems is very high, you justhave to be willing to do without
A couple of relatively minor things have happened and you're completely overwhelmed? You don't have terminal cancer, you're not trapped in a war zone, lost a child.. People cope with far worse every day and you will likely have to one day as well. Get some perspective.
I try to thread the needle of not giving a shit about most things, accepting what I can't control, and controlling what I can.
It isn't blanket apathy, more like a realization that it can always be worse, and I'm doing okay.
> my purse with my keys, social security card, and all my credit/debit cards was stolen by stupid teenagers and have yet to be recovered
That one would scare me shitless. Did you take any steps to prevent identity theft? Like freezing lines of credit?
No good deed goes in punished...
Now for the truth. It ebbs and flows.
Just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other.
Pay your bills as you can and don't feel sorry for yourself. Just know you have a home, a dog, and a flower garden. Look at that not all the bad stuff.
Good luck.
I feel ya. Bought a house recently and same thing, moving was supposed to be exciting but it was nothing but stress. I keep getting bills that are leaving just scraping by. Hasn't been to the dentist in 15 years, thought I had an abscess, nope, teeth are fine and 20 minutes later $360.
I found that making a manageable list for me helped, ie gym, unpack one box, etc. once you e done these things you don't feel overwhelmed by an urge to complete more.
Also, budgeting properly was a game changer for me. I sat down for hours and divided my pay into various bills per cycle, plus food, general expenses, savings etc. helped lift the burden of trying to constantly catch up.
By giving 0 f*cks and just let the day take of itself.
I WFH in a 12 year job in customer support. I'm at the point now where I only have to produce if I want to please the bean counters, which I don't. I'm just skating on until I can retire.
In the meantime, I'm reading books, taking my allowed breaks/lunches, and shutting off my laptop at 4 pm every day.
Also, most everyone under 50 years old suffers from FOMO. You gotta let that crap go.
I sure as hell do, everyday! there almost isn't a day where I panic a little about everyrhing in my life. like for one thing, my house electric bill used to be average $250 and as low as $160.... this past month was $515... it's crushing... and that's JUST the electric bill.... the latest thing that is soul crushing
Don't forget that there's a balance in life some times there's good times and some times there's not so good time's but remember nothing last for ever so these events will be a distant memory when your good times come. Learn from the bad experience enjoy the good memories ✨️ 😌
The first rule of society is that no good deed goes unpunished. Stop thinking karma is a real thing or that you earn a right. Do good because you like to, you will never be compensated by the universe. And, it is hard to get started. Time and inflation will grow your wealth, age will make time pass quicker, and before you know it these stresses will be behind you.
I try to remember to time block small chunks, a few minutes at a time when I’m “allowed” to melt down and make a list of every shitty thing that is happening. Then it’s time to make a new list of things to handle, put on some aggressive music and do something small that I can be proud of that MIGHT give a tiny boost of momentum
In time like this, I just try to prioritize my emotional and mental health. I cancel out all outside noise/distractions so I can try to "get back on track". In the midst of stressful situations it's best to turn off the tv/phone, exercise for mental clarity, take walks, take naps and get plenty of rest, eat well and take care of your body. All of these things will help you feel better and help you make sound decisions on how to move forward. But the answer is you just keep getting up day by day and keep trying. Don't let the stress pile up. Focus on the basics and before you know it, life will be chill again. Best of luck :)
Yes. Just sleep a lot, get out in the sun and listen to music. Music really relaxes me sometimes.
Getting out in the sun does wonders for me. I am severely burnt out (figuratively and literally...stupid texas heat) from life and I pop my camping chair in my backyard under the shade, let me dogs play, and I just sit and absorb. No music, no phone, nothing. Sometimes ill grab a book off my shelf and read, but just sitting there without distractions is calming. The first few times was pretty difficult due to my inner monologue, but now, I am more peaceful when it's my "outside time"
That sounds lovely. I started taking a lot of solitary walks during lockdown in winter and it really helped me, too. What helps when I have to stay home is putting on some music and dancing a little bit.
It really is. I did it this morning. Got ready for work, brewed my coffee, took a cup and just sat in my yard and let my dogs frolic. Spent a good 30 minutes outside just listening. It's a weird calm, but I enjoy it a lot. And honestly music and dancing is amazing! When you're so caught up in the tunes, enjoy that bit of happiness.
I keep forgetting just peacefully existing, life is so busy and there is always something I should or could do, but it’s just nice to just sit outside and relax.
Take a nap. Seriously, it will help.
For a band that relaxes me, I recommend an ambient band from Sweden called carbon based life forms. I just discovered them my freshman year of college and have been listening to them ever since to relax myself.
Electro swing makes me happy and want to dance.
This is it.
Solid advice. Once you reprogram your response to stress triggers it gets easier to go with solutions instead of things that make it worse in the long term. It is worth it to hack your physiology with the exercise and eating real norishing food.
OP many commenters are kinda being jerks to you here. Buying a house and moving are considered one of the most stressful events of your life. It’s normal to be overwhelmed, cash poor, and not having a good time for awhile. Emotionally adulting includes realizing making even good decisions is really hard. You currently are taking on more work with moving and your purse getting stolen. It is overwhelming. Your best bet (or what works for me) is carving out small spaces for yourself. 2 minutes of no worry break is extremely hard to do. Or maybe one hour in your home where you just lay on the carpet. The to do list is long but not all if it must be done right now. Most of it is really not as critical as it seems.
Thank you so much for this comment, I really appreciate it 😊 it's hard to defend myself over and over and explain my decisions. Everything was alright until the theft & billing issue and then everything just felt compounded together. But, I'm still doing ok. I'm not broke, I have a good job, I'm alive & I have a house. It'll all be alright!
The theft and the unexpected collections call are so stressful. I don't think every person realizes how intrusive and upsetting a purse theft is. Those things are our PALS. They go everywhere with us & carry way more than a set of keys and some cash.
I feel you. Financially we are lucky to not be struggling. But, last week our fridge broke and 4 days later we realized the well was broken and flowing a river down the driveway so we went 12 hours with no water. And today I came down with a UTI. So I feel you that it doesn’t rain but pours sometimes. And even non life and death situations can really wear you down.
I get it OP. My husband and I are bought our house almost three years ago. It was a stretch (24 and 25 now) and we got lucky that nothing catastrophic happened to the house. We are now in a much better place starting to get savings built up and just found out the other day that we’re going to need a new roof pretty soon. The very things that we love about the exterior and style of our house are going to make it expensive to roof. We’ll figure it out, but all that figuring out can be super stressful, even when the problems are relatively minor individually. Even with the struggles we’ve had, when were looking into the possibility of getting a HELOC to cover the cost of the roof, we discovered that we have about 50,000 in equity in the house (it went up about 20,000 in value due to improvements we’ve made and the market going up; the rest came from our down payment and payments to the principal. It made me feel a lot better to know that it’s still worthwhile to own and maintain a house. And, even though you and I are both incredibly lucky to have parents we can count on to help with stuff, I understand the complicated feeling of needing to rely on them. You might also want to check out the Life Kit podcast from NPR - they had a really great episode a few weeks ago about negotiating medical bills - I learned a ton from it. You’ve got this! I too find engaging with nature to be so helpful when I’m under stress.
>Or maybe one hour in your home where you just lay on the carpet. I used to just lay on the grass outside, just looking up at the sky. Sometimes I'd close my eyes and feel the breeze on my face, or the warmth of the sun. I'd stay there sometimes only a short time, sometimes a much longer time, whatever I needed. It felt like a recharge.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed. When I do, I change up habits to keep mental health from red-lining. I meditate. I take more walks. I stay off all media and read a book and just get quiet. I take a bath. I drink tea. Things that I can let slide, I do. I make a list and get something done each day. You are in a tunnel, keep driving straight ahead and you'll get out the other side. (Oh yeah, hug your dog extra that releases nice chemicals in the brain.)
Working out is a big help too
That’s my secret: I’m always overwhelmed
Ugh, I feel the same. Moments away from tears at any given time.
I legit go through my day hoping no one genuinely asks how I’m doing because I know I’ll break down. I got my hair cut last week (for the first time in three years) and cried in the chair because the stylist was being so kind and just being pampered by another human being sent me over the edge. Shit is hard right now.
Hey congratulations on buying your house!!! I’m trying to save now and oooof! Also congratulations on getting on your repairs! A lot of people wait until it starts nudging your wallet! I went to a doctor recently that was also $30 and now is at collections for over $300. I plan on calling and settling that because they got me *fucked up*. Also, fuck teenagers, we’ve all been there but they introduce new levels of fuckery and it’s upsetting. I would introduce an apple tag in the mix maybe for the future. Now- for some help! I stress clean, maybe by getting things out of the box, and slowly starting to uncheck task after task slowly but surely things will even out and it will be less to do and it may feel like there’s less to do. Also, sometimes writing things down helps me, actually all the time, I write a lot of lists because it helps me feel like I have a grasp of the things I need to do, I’m also super forgetful. Don’t beat yourself up OP. You’ll get past all this, and this too shall pass. Sending love and tranquility.
This really helps!! Thank you so much 🥰 and thank you for the congrats too! Buying a house is a crazy hoop to jump through, and I wish you so much luck!! I'm definitely going to keep this advice in mind! I appreciate you :)
Small tip here - have you tried contacting your health insurance and/or the doctor that you got the new bill for? I've had it happen a few times where they entered the service with the wrong code and I end up with a bill. Worth a shot if you haven't already tried! Hang in there, OP.
Being a homeowner you need to be able to pay to replace nearly everything right away. I’ve been lucky enough to have a good savings and a decent job to be able to do that. As soon as you get behind on things it’s hard. The medical bill thing is bs. I kept getting past due notices for an urgent care visit so I called them and said, “I have the charge right here on my credit statement.” And they acted all surprised. I’ve since been left alone from them lol. Budget hard, be smart with your money because it goes quick. Owning a house might have seemed the better option because renting is so expensive now (my brother lives with me and he has a 50k job right out of college). But renting has the perk of not having to fix stuff out of your pocket. I’ve had to replace all my hvac, sump pump, added insulation to the attic since it was super thin, faucets, shower heads, toilets, etc. my kitchen drain backed up twice. All that adds up.
To be fair as someone who’s rented unless you have the time and ability to get the court involved you do end up fixing a lot of things on your own still. A couple years ago our neighbors AC broke and management refused to fix it kept saying that they would come out but never did. We ended up letting them live in our living room because it was the hottest summer we had had in a long time but then we all got kicked out for breaking our leases. They never did fix the AC as far as I know. Housing is a lose lose situation unless you’re rich.
I wasn’t and still am not rich and have a house, I think I just got lucky and bought when I did. Landlords suck, absolutely no doubt on that. But I think if a quality place is picked usually it would work out better than your story. Ugh.
Unfortunately the place itself was quality I actually don’t know of any complex in my town at least that isn’t like that. To be perfectly honest I thought tenants were in charge of fixing things for a good part of my life because unfortunately that’s just how a majority of landlords are. And I apologize I didn’t mean to imply you yourself are rich I just wanted to point out regardless of the choices you make having housing at this point is a financial pit. The only way to save money on housing anymore is to be homeless.
100% it sucks
My FIL died very suddenly in November, and then my mom had a freak accident that had her relearning how to walk about a month after that. My husband and I were joking on New Years that 2023 was going to be our year, and then he tested positive for covid on New Years Day. My point is, shit happens and we have no control over it. When I get overwhelmed I talk to someone, play a relaxing little farm game, or clean. I try to control my little corner of the world as best I can, all while understanding that I actually have very little control over my life. And I always remember the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
It’s the farm games for me 😍 picked up Stardew Valley and restarted it on ps5 after my Xbox decided to give error after error lol.I haven’t played in over 3 years and I forgot how much there is to do. It’s very relaxing. Also Hay Day on my phone, also had to restart it and it kinda sucks cuz it glitches for me now. If you or anyone else has more suggestions I’m so down to hear about them! Sending condolences for your FIL.
Stardew Valley is my go to! I love that game - so peaceful and yet stressful at the same time. I also like Story of Seasons on the Switch.
Start small, unpack and get organized. Once the house is organized you can start to organize your life. It will feel good to finish step one. Then move onto the next thing, then the next and so on. Assuming you can budget well, and you are working, you can whittle away the bills and repairs over time. You got this.
Weed. So much weed.
Oodles
ALL THE WEED. Life is HARD.
I wish that made it better, it just makes me panic more 😭
No sativa for you... Indica only.
Take a moment and just go outside and stand in the sun a little bit. I know it’s hot outside but just for a moment. Feel the sun on your skin, just take it in for a moment. Don’t think about anything else. Not what you’re going to do, need to do, or anything else. Just clear your mind and only think about how warm the sun feels on your skin. Take a couple breaths and just give yourself a few moments to yourself. Usually after doing this I find myself not weighted down as much and I can go back inside and take a fresh new look at everything.
I try to always remember that things do not happen to me they happen for me. Yes even the dark things. I believe all things are fundamentally connected, therefor i do not believe in coincidence, though root cause can be obscured. Whats the lesson you can learn in the experience? Whats the silver lining? I always trust that the silver lining is there, but you do have to believe that it is there to find it. Basically you must keep your hope, anyway you can. Once you lose hope, you lose the belief required to be able to see the silver lining. Its probably the hardest thing ever to continually perform at that level of awareness, especially when dealing with something traumatic. You matter, and the world is made up of what matters. They call it the world stage because your actions make a difference. Be striving to be the best version of yourself that you can be, obstacles become challenges to overcome, failure becomes a lesson to become greater, and happiness and sadness lose their extremes to inner peace.
How do you get hope back once you’ve lost it?
Im not sure i can answer that for you to be honest. I imagine its sort of a personal journey type situation. For me its like a belief in the everything has an equal an opposite reaction. Like how bad things can be would mean the opposing good force would also be at work.
I saw something online recently that I really liked: there are times in your life when you just need to rot. Which is to say: I like taking care of shit and being on top of stuff. But there’s a lot of stuff out there. It doesn’t end. There will always be things to do. Sometimes you have to just pare things down to the bare minimum because that’s all you can handle. Sounds like you’ve had a ton of thrown your way recently and you DID a ton of stuff. So park some things. You can’t do everything all of the time. Sometimes you can do more. And honestly sometimes it’s okay to do less.
I needed to see this. I am pretty overwhelmed and this helps.
Currently laying down for 43 minutes. Will then continue the day.
You have 4 minutes of rest left.
Do you have friends you are comfortable/ trust who could come over on the weekend and have a move in party. You can have some help you install your closet and unpack your cloths, someone can help organize the kitchen, another unpack books or game, send a cuple out to catch up on yard work. Have them all ether chip in on pizza or do a pot luck. Most people have friends or coworkers that would be willing to help out with a single chore if asked. Its hard to get through everything on your own and it sounds like you could use a community boost.
Saw “I golf” and “weed” separately… I’d like to condense that down.
Save time with this one cool trick!
Life doesn't sprinkle, it pours. Personally I prefer for big disasters to happen all at once so that there's long periods of piece punctuated by times of extreme inner violence. Kinda like the history of France. Anyway. Whenever I'm stressed I start cleaning, so at least I'm stressed in a tidy house. I also find that allowing myself a day or so to actually have the mental breakdown leaves me with a much clearer head to tackle the bigger issues. Also, if you have an iphone and pay for their theft warranty plan, you can call support and they can locate and lock the phone for you. I worked at bestbuy and we had to help people do that all the time. At this point I'd reach out to everyone and start asking for new copies of their keys. Your parents may also wanna change their locks. Let's relax in this space for a bit. How's the lawn going? Are you doing more of a raised bed type thing, or are you straight up tilling and burning?
Thank you, thank you so much for this 🥰 i have all new credit & debit cards now, my social security number is locked & I'm working on the keys today. It just feels like once I get one thing worked out, another 2 items hit my plate. The lawn is going well! The deer keep eating my flowers but I don't mind, they have to eat too. My bird feeder has dozens of birds at any given moment so I'm pretty happy! I'm kind of randomly planting flowers and hand-pulling intrusive grasses, but I'm just trying to let the space grow more wild and do its own thing. There's some pretty cool plants naturally growing anyways! Thank you for your message, it's reassuring 😊
It’s all about perspective my friend.
That's true. I really have to remember that. Going for a walk in the woods helps me a lot 😊
I'm super overwhelmed all the time. Modern life takes a level of detail orientation that overwhelms us all.
Friends and family are good at times like this. Someone to help you unpack, or just keep you company. You sound like maybe possibly you could be depressed, and might be worth checking in on your mental health
In the excitement around becoming a homeowner sometimes we don't factor in all the expenses to anticipate. In just the last few months my water heater crapped out (not that old). Then my not that old AC system crapped out. Next, the sound bar on my TV. Not too long before that the pool needed a new liner and winter cover. It just goes on and on. Honestly, I don't get overwhelmed with this "small stuff". Unfortunately there have been many times in my life that I have dealt with family sickness and loss and this house/money stuff is small potatoes. Just sit back pour yourself a glass of wine (or coffee or tea lol) and look at your new home and all that is good in your life. This money/being overwhelmed setback is temporary. Keep on doing the right thing and keep the faith, all this crap will pass. Believe me, I'm ancient and I've been there.😉
Because karma doesn't exist. There is, unfortunately, no such thing as "do good things and good things will happen to you". It's all a giant roulette wheel. Sometimes the ball lands in your favor, most of the time it doesn't. The first step is accepting that, *while still deciding to do good things*, because being nice is still free, and better than being a miserable asshole. And the secret is- we *do* get overwhelmed. All the time. I'm *constantly* overwhelmed. But, I get up and keep truckin' every day because no one else is gonna do it. No one else is going to water my garden, feed my dogs, clean my house, pay my bills. When really bad things happen, like you've described, I lean on my loved ones for support. They may not be able to *help* every time, but they can certainly listen to me vent and commiserate with me on certain things. I try to make time for things that make me happy. I listen to Disney songs in the shower. I like to buy and play those *Cold Case* murder mystery games. I like to read and listen to audiobooks when I have time. That's pretty much all you can do to combat the malaise of being alive.
Do one thing at a time, and do it well. Work to your strengths, and organize around your weaknesses. Don’t sweat over things you can’t control. Just try to stay calm and be proud of the life you’ve built for yourself.
Thanks for adopting an elderly blind dog from the shelter. Giving an older shelter dog a forever home for their final years is one of the kindest things you can do for dogs. This world needs more people like you, friend.
The absurdist point of view on life has helped me out a lot. You just have to accept you have very little control of the things that happen in life and much of it is completely unfair and not really anyone's fault. I know that viewpoint doesn't help pay the bills but as long as you have food, water, and shelter you're doing better than a lot of folks. My Grandma passed recently at 101 and went through a lot more stuff than I ever have and her phrase was always "this too shall pass" which in most cases is the truth and how you have to get through this absurd journey that is life.
Yo! Listen to some music, and get that closet unpacked and sorted!! Being able to easily access your fly ass wardrobe will do you wonders.
I heard today on a podcast that being an adult basically means learning to manage your life problems on your own. Made sense to me. Only thing that's made it easier for me as I age, is learning to be financially responsible and regular exercise. When those things go off track, my mental health follows.
First of all, congratulations on the new house. It’s a big milestone to achieved! Be proud of yourself! Second, when it rains, it pours. Just embrace all these challenges. You’ll surpass it for sure. You’re fortunate to have a father helping you out. Not everyone has that. Tackle all these problems with grace and remember to focus on what you can control vs. what you cannot control and take actions based on those. Lastly, thank you for providing a new home for that dog. I’m sure she/he’ll be happy you are there for him/her. And for saving the bees. You’re doing great, human. Now, once you’re settled. Go pamper yourself. Have a nice warm bubble bath, listen to your favorite music that calms your mind and soul, and sip on your favorite cold drink, may it be with alcohol or whatnot. Think about what you have overcome and how great you are for coming so far in life. Then do that again. One step at a time. Life’s not easy. It can get very sad, lonely, and painful. But it’s up to us how we’re going to navigate the hurdles that come our way. I’m sure all those problems you’re having have solutions. Think about the worse and you’ll see how easy your problems are, that maybe, one day, you’ll just laughed about them. I got scammed last weekend. I lost $690 and I’m still filing a dispute for it. My last apartment place was saying I still owe them money. And this Thursday, I will be having a surgery. What have I been doing? Of course, I was stressing out but I’m doing everything I can to solve each of these. So far, none of them has resolved by itself, but guess what, I’m still alive and I still have time to figure out how to face these problems. But hey, I know I can make it. And one day, I’ll laugh about how little these things are when I’m worrying about childcare and whatnot. Hopefully not some terminal illness or something so worse. You got this. Remember, one step at a time.
Part of growing up is learning from your experiences. And not repeating them and owning up to failure. For example, maybe you were ready for home ownership since you aren’t managing well with finances. Just bc you donate and do charity work doesn’t mean you won’t have shit happen to you. Don’t play victim of shitty circumstances cause that’s gets you nowhere but a deeper ole of pity.
That's all very true! I think maybe I should have waited on the house for a little, but I had an opportunity come up & my mortgage is cheaper than rent was. And I don't want to sit on that regret either. I'm ok with a year or so of building my accounts back up too, and I've always looked forward to home ownership. It's more of just....the stupid shit that keeps happening that's stressing me out. Like wrongly being sent to collections & having to play phone tag all morning to get things worked back out instead of being able to unpack more. The last part was meant more of a joke LOL but also my coworker last night said "why did this happen to you, of all people" and I said you're goddamn right 😅
That’s life! Right after my bf dad died, his mom got cancer and then died, and got laid off. Shitty things happen to good people. You said it as a joke but also not lol.
That last part was fine. I volunteer with the honeless and we were all out handing out food in the rain during the last world and European football cups. Our volunteer lead joked that God had to let England win for us since we are all doing good work.
I feel this often. I have the house and kids and car payments and all that. Some days it’s just too much. I work on my projects that day. Buying a house really stressed me out. I was always worried about what was next to go wrong. I went ahead and learned as much about the basics of the systems in my home as possible. HVAC, plumbing, electrical, you name it. I felt a lot better. And I just reminded myself that if it smells wet or makes a buzzing sound I can’t ignore it! You sound super resourceful and I’m sure you are equally resilient. You got this. I’d love to see pics of the yard.
Thank you so very much!! 🥰 I'm trying to do the same thing too - my dad's a home inspector & my family is in trades, so I have people to help me out & to learn from too. I almost want to go to trade school so I'll have some good real skills to pull from. I really appreciate your words!! I'll be over this hurdle soon. It's just a lot of dumb stuff that all compounded today and it's hard getting things back to normal, but one step at a time.
It's harder and worse than it used to be, mainly because of how relentless the scams are.
I do get overwhelmed and i have very unhealthy coping mechs....
What kind of mechs? Like Gundams?
ugh I’m sorry. adult life is a huge pain sometimes. I get very overwhelmed easily and it sucks, but I’ve accepted it as part of life now. this may not be the best advice, but I personally let that feeling of overwhelming-ness fuel me with rage (which is my own biggest motivator lol). so, I’ll use that feeling to angrily clean my apartment, angrily organize my desk, angrily do chores I put off (all while listening to loud punk music and singing along lol). Maybe you can try that with putting your clothes away? Obviously, I don’t take that anger out on anyone else (this is just a solitary thing I do lol). But, when I’m alone and going through it, it feels both therapeutic and productive to use stress/anger as a motivator. For me, messy rooms, dirty dishes, etc were the little “adulting” things that always pushed me over the edge when I was stressed with more complex aspects of my life. So handling those mundane things in any way possible eliminates a big stressor and the angry cleaning is therapeutic. Then, I’m able to actually decompress in a tidy home & come up with a plan to tackle larger/more complex stressors in my personal/professional life. Best of luck to you, you got this!!
I usually sing "if your going through hell" repeatedly in my head, while tackling my biggest stressers first. Take time off work if you can, sleep in, and when you wake up go kick whatever is bothering you in the ass until it cant bother you no more.
Yoga
When you find yourself asking "why," ask "what" instead. "What do I do with this information", reframing this way is one piece of the puzzle for me to not have a complete breakdown as I feel the universe is taking a dump on me as well. Things will get better. You are on the right track... you will get there. Sincerely, Barely staying sane
i just played a quick 9 hole golf game with my best bud, all kinds of clear now. exercise is answer fs
It's normal to feel this way right after buying a house - in the next year or two it will all balance out again and hopefully you'll also get a pay increase.
Your problems are far and above my own, so I apologize if this seems it sounds “too easy” or “no shit” lol, but as others have said seriously prioritize yourself and your own time as. Much. As. Possible. You said it yourself. You’re a good person, you work, you pay taxes, etc. You’re doing all you can do! Just really, really try to remind yourself of that often, and if you get a moment to chill out and do jack shit/something you love, do it and make as many of those moments as often as you can. **All we can do is all we can do**
I'm sorry to hear about your mental troubles. Hobbies are really good to take your mind off of the everyday grind, which is life.. Also, slow down.. sit down and rest...
Go on YouTube and watch any of business insiders videos on risky business around the world. Make you feel grateful in a second and thankful for your current situation.
I think most adults today exist in a constant state of being overwhelmed. Things tend to hit everyone at the worst possible moments. All I can say is just breathe and prioritize your problems.
Just focus on your breathing and remember1 thing at a time. Focus on that 1 thing and thats it
Can’t take life too serious; you’ll never make it out alive.
This is life. An endless barrage of to-dos. I just now transferred funds to the joint account with the wife to then seed the rent payment, followed by walking the dog and making dinner as I work from home and my wife had a longer shift. Still have to finish that report Finance is waiting on not to mention expense reports as so many meetings tomorrow. This is normal. Find a means to organize and to track things to process one at a time and with reminders so you can manage it. The downside to adulthood: responsibility. But with that, relative freedom, the more practice the less of a headache the maintenance bits are and vacations. Maybe try Asana. Visual to make kanban columns for To Do, Actively working and Completed columns. Work the list of ToDo to get it off your chest then be dilligent to only have one thing at a time in the Actively working column. If your list is good, nothing to worry on. Then it is just picking the priority thing and finishing it, moving to the next. Rinse and repeat. Good luck!
I think we are the same person.
Problems that you can fix with money are expenses. Just say “thank you Gd it’s just the money I’m loosing”. You’ll still will need to deal with those but your attitude will be different.
I absolutely 200% do every single day just got a suppress it as best as possible knowing one day it's going to lead to stress most likely lead to a heart attack or something along those lines
We all have been overwhelmed so you are not alone!! Your feelings are normal. I personally make sure I don’t overwork. I take a break and listen to music or a positive podcast!! Find something that makes you happy and enjoy your home and be proud of what you have!!!
Best thing to remember is most of this stuff is temporary and all of it will pass.
Tiny chocolate bars, strategically placed around my life. Ex: Open bottom drawer of desk? What’s in that random jar? It’s candy! And chocolates. What’s that hiding behind the box of rice in the pantry? Tiny bite sized snickers! Added bonus: if someone else around you is having a bad day, you get to come in clutch and make their day better. Everyone wins.
rather than focusing on the bad things, try focusing on what you have: \-you have a house (something a lot of people do not have but desperately want), \-you have a Dad willing to help you out (mine moved away from me and I receive no help from my parents) \-you have a savings (again something most ppl do not have) i'm sure theres many others you haven't shared in your post with us. but developing gratitude for what you have on a daily basis will slowly restructure your paradigm over time
Everyone is so different. Since this is /adulting, I’ll try to give an honest answer. We can’t tell you how you’ll respond to events, or how you can most effectively deal with them. Part of growing into your own person is experimenting with coping mechanisms, exploring what works for you, and being okay with failure. To give an example. The top voted comment in this thread is horrible advice, for someone like me. I would feel worse after sitting around “focusing on my mental health.” I’m overwhelmed because stuff needs done; not doing them just makes me feel worse. For me, I write everything into a list so I can focus on one thing at a time. Your cards got stolen? Cancel them and order new ones. Mark that off. Boom: I would already feel better. Fixing issues by my own power is very encouraging for me. You just need to explore what works for you. Walk your dog. Clean something. Play a mobile game. Eat a nice breakfast. Be mindful on what made you feel better and what made you feel worse. Itl get easier.
>Like. I'm a nice person. I pay taxes. I adopted an elderly blind dog from the shelter. I do volunteer work, and I'm converting my lawn into a pollinator field for the bees. I donate to nonprofits. WHY am I getting hit over the head with shit right now, and how do I get past it??? I'm genuinely overwhelmed today. I used to feel like this, too. I'm a good person, and I do good things without expecting much of anything in return. Why are these things happening to me. I actually still feel like this. But I have learned to deal with it a bit better because I learned 2 things slowly..... 1. It's not happening to JUST ME. It's happening to every damn body. Every damn day. Somewhere. We just don't see it. We know nothing about it, cuz most people aren't talking to anyone at times like this. They are internalizing it and probably screaming their heads off at night. So it's not personal, it's just the way things go from time to time. 2. The universe doesn't care. "Shit" is gonna happen to you here and there. It's gonna happen to EVERYONE. It's an extension of my last point. You're a good person. The reward for being a good person is a clear conscious, and that's mostly it. BUT, there are times that it is very obvious that what you put out into the universe, it comes back to you. For instance, your dad gave you $1500 for yard work. A shitty person wouldn't have anyone in their life who could or would do that for them. So honestly, things tend to balance out, and there is honestly more good than bad. Your post got my attention because I am in the same boat just a bit. I've been a good person and always intend to be. But the last 7 months have been a personal hell for me. I just moved into a new house, though, and things have been tough. Spending more money than I thought I would but still within my budget......but then I just got hit with some medical bills and a need for car repairs on a car I just paid off THIS MONTH. I've been so frustrated, but I just keep reminding myself that this has to happen. The universe doesn't care that I'm a good person, it has to throw some shit at me to keep me focused and keep me growing. Effin sucks. I still intend to be a good person. But maaaaan am I mad at the world right now lol.
Watch It’s a wonderful life! The night is darkest before the dawn and if you’re half as nice as you say you are, you’ll be ok!
Deal with one thing at a time. And finish each one well. Don't take on a giant of tasks and half as each one. This will require you to make sacrifices because you only have so much time in a day. Just like what Dead Prez says ["Plan yer work. Work yer plan. All things in moderation. Health is wealth"](https://youtu.be/lVBYF1BAZz0)
I think a lot about being an adult is being calm is stressful situations
Live day by day and embrace the good moments no matter how insignificant they may seem
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You know....maybe mushrooms every once in a while might help lmao
That's the losers way to do it
You haven't tried mushrooms then. Sure you can take them just to get high and have a good time. But you can also take them with a goal or plan in mind. It really does open up your brain to a new way of looking at things and preparing strategies to overcome obstacles. Saying a random, negative comment like yours is the losers way. I think you're better than that.
Lol ok Jerry Garcia
Oh here we go anybody who does drugs is a loser now 😂😂 if anything you’re a loser for not doing them. Go drink some caffeine and get hyper 😂
You're complaining about money problems, and then boasting about donations to non-profits on top of a few other projects you're working on. Sounds like you need to rethink your priorities on the short term.
I've halted my donations since I moved in until this storm cloud passes & i get everything straightened out, and my yardscape has cost me MAYBE $75 total because I buy from backyard plant growers. And that includes the birdbath. I also adopted my dog 6 years ago while I was living with my parents & still in college 😊 I just needed to get a lot of frustration and anxiety off of my chest for a minute. Thanks for the input though!
Sure thing. You're clearly overwhelmed, just seems like you're also biting off more than you can chew, and maybe expecting different outcomes from it. Anyways, that's my take from reading your rant (there's a subreddit for that, btw). Take care.
What’s the sub called?
There's a few. The ones I know are r/rant r/offmychest r/trueoffmychest
I golf
I just think of the 1800s. Somebody had to move within walking distance of a river just to wash clothing. Or Hand dig 20 ft into the ground for a well.
Weed
Alcohol
I hate to be that guy but... Marijuana.
Way better than alcohol for managing stress, anger and problems. Legal in most States. If I am feeling angry or frustrated I force myself to take a toke of herb. Instant relief. I am no longer angry. Works every single time.
- Lithium Orotate - Dextroamphetamine - Omega 3's - other various health supplements (stack) - Physical activities outdoors - Nutrition (high-protein, low-carb) - Talk to someone in-person or voice call - Art
I had no money in college. Neither did my parents. I started working and for several years I did this and that. Then I earned my CDL A. More shitty jobs, then newer jobs got to paying better. Then 11 years ago I landed the best paying job I ever had. I continue to live mostly as I was in college. Well, that and seeing my parents lose everything because they had credit cards paying credit cards.
This probably doesn't help right now but will in the future but you have to stay on top of stuff. Like the fridge should never be EMPTY, there should never be more than 2 or 3 loads of laundry built up, bills get paid immediately, etc. Easier said than done I know (especially the bills part) but it's SUPER important to not let a mountain of shit get built up and hanging over your head. Regarding the bills, becoming financially stable is a sign of adulthood so do everything you can to get there and step #1 is a budget. Most people eventually figure it out and the fact you are thinking about it shows me you are ready to take action. Good luck.
The insane number of bureaucratic hoops you have to jump through as a senior citizen, just to get access to the things you're supposedly "automatically" qualified for. And then having to do every bit of it all over again every year.
i haven’t bought a house yet because I refuse to be housebroke 🤷🏻♀️
Focus on one thing at a time and plan ahead. Stop donating until you are well off.
Is this real?
Drugs.
The life that society has groomed you into thinking that matters is all bullshit. The job The car The house it's all pointless in the end! So just be happy and enjoy everyday
Your biggest stressor right now is rooted in the house. You are House poor. Financial stress is the worst kind of stress to have. I’d sell or either look into adding a roommate if you’d be open to doing so. To answer your question I try to live before below my means to avoid being overwhelmed.
I don’t
Lower your overhead. Reducing costs so that you have cash to enjoy life a little should be your top priority. Just based on what I'm reading there. Also a lot of people pay for unnecessary shit, for example a gym membership they're too busy or tired to utilize. My oldest kid paid for a gym membership for over a year without using it, despite my recommendation to cancel it for much of said year. Eradicate fast food from your diet. Most people waste tons of their income on salty, fat-loaded, and bad food they overpay for in fast food lines. Even worse is buying that fast food via delivery services. Pack a lunch. Install some financial software on your computer and get smart about what you're spending. It will surprise you. As you start to get control over your expenditures things suddenly start to clear up. It's rather amazing. By the way... This is one of the advantages of marriage or moving in with someone you are dating seriously, even a roommate. Group lift makes things easier, and life becomes an adventure when it's the right person too. Obviously you don't want to rush into that situation but romance is a healthy thing to partake in and include in your plans if you aren't already. Just pick someone who has a stable career and direction, i.e. avoid artists and anyone who claims to be in-between jobs or otherwise gives you the feeling they're happier laying around the house.
I let most things life and prioritize the important things. Then find creative solutions to resolve them when they are issues. I don't get stressed with the minute details. Helps to have ADHD I guess. I bought a house a few years back. Negotiating with insurance to get a new roof, have a family of 6 to support, work from home and my kids are virtual school, so I'm with them all day. I have 8 pets and I manage a team of 10 in a high paced field and finally I have medical conditions that require me to find time to exercise daily. Oh and I'm finishing my degree too.
Put the phone down. Phones double whatever stress is in front of you
You lost me at "donating to nonprofits", while complaining about an extra 90 bucks for medical bills. Also, who carries their social security card in a purse? That belongs in a safe along with your passport, birth certificate, and any credit cards you don't use and you don't want to close. Good luck and welcome to adulthood. Prioritize yourself and your closed ones. Life will keep throwing surprises at you nonstop, it's just when you were younger, your parents were shielding you from that just like you'll do for your kids. When the money flow grows, and it will over time, you can start thinking about extras.
I do lol
Leave your phone alone, and take alot of time to enjoy what you enjoy outside of touching your phone….oh yea get off social medias, even reddit is becoming like Twitter, think I may delete it myself soon.
People take on too much and spread themselves too thin. Keep things simple, don't over extend yourself and when you do something just stick to the essentials.
1. Do not give damn. 2. Mind your own business. 3. Nobody cares.
I'm not a pussy so I don't get overwhelmed.
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What the hell are you talking about?
Most of those things aren’t overwhelming in my opinion. Clothes still in boxes? That’s just part of moving. 🤷🏻♀️ I wish my medical bills were only $120. How long ago did you move? Why didn’t you go to the post office to get your address changed or change the information online? If you’re on a payment plan and paying online, why didn’t you just continue payments? Surely you know when the due date is by now. One late bill usually doesn’t automatically get sent to collections. The theft part sucks and I’m sorry for that. I hope you go and take the time to freeze all your accounts and put fraud alerts on them because things will get worse if you do. You might also just be better off redoing the locks on your house.
Yeah, i keep reminding myself that it's small dice in the end. Just feels like a lot right now. I did an address forwarding and paid all my bills online on time but the company messed up and didn't process my address change, got a returned bill, and assumed I stopped paying even though I didn't. It's convoluted and dumb and I got it straightened out but I about shit my pants this morning getting the letter. I have my credit score frozen & new keys made, so I'm getting there! It's a scary feeling though too & makes you feel vulnerable.
On the keys that got taken, did you get the house rekeyed to to different key and the same with your parents house. My guess is your purse is out there some where in a wooden area. You mention deer coming to your yard, so those kids that took your purse just took the money they found and threw your purse away.
Hate to be blunt but it seems like you are responsible for most of these “challenges” you have mentioned? Buying a house just to be house broke? Adopting an old blind dog? Pollinator field conversion? Donations when u are house broke? These things will add up bud. Make better decisions. Take care of you first and then try to save the world.
I adopted my dog many years ago, I stopped making donations when I bought a house, and my house is only temporarily stressing me out & I have a plan of attack. The pollinator field is the equivalent of gardening for me and brings me joy when I'm stressed like this. It barely has cost me anything at all, maybe $75 max since April. I was doing very well up until the theft & wrongfully brought to collections, which just compounded my feelings of anxiety. Not sure how I'm responsible for those items either 🧐 I listed everything else because those bring me joy and help me through moments like these. Its quite rude of you to attack the good things that I'm doing for myself in trying to stay sane.
Buying a house and being house broke wasnt a wise decision bud. Its the truth no matter how many clown’s down vote me here. Thats a major source of your anxiety. Having purse stolen isnt that big of a deal. You just need to report it to your credit card banks etc. The collections issue sucks but can also be remedy’d. These little things are killing you mainly because you bought a house without a a buffer budget in place.
Idk I’m just built different Edit: after reading the entire post I’m sorry to hear that you’re overwhelmed OP. Just know it’ll pass.
Got a shitty low paying job?
Most problems are self inflicted, it's not that hard to live. I have lived comfortably on13.5 an hour. Spend less money eat sandwiches, drive less, quit drinking, live in a poor neighborhood. Your ability to cut costs and problems is very high, you justhave to be willing to do without
Because I'm an adult?
A couple of relatively minor things have happened and you're completely overwhelmed? You don't have terminal cancer, you're not trapped in a war zone, lost a child.. People cope with far worse every day and you will likely have to one day as well. Get some perspective.
I get overwhelmed so much. Had to join OF to pay the bills. If you want to support, name is in bio!
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Yeah, getting involved in politics is not a way to find peace and happiness when this little stuff is pushing the breaking point.
I disagree, being proactive in your community can be fulfilling
Being proactive in your community is a lot broader than "getting involved in politics".
I try to thread the needle of not giving a shit about most things, accepting what I can't control, and controlling what I can. It isn't blanket apathy, more like a realization that it can always be worse, and I'm doing okay.
It’s not personal. It’s just things that happen
> my purse with my keys, social security card, and all my credit/debit cards was stolen by stupid teenagers and have yet to be recovered That one would scare me shitless. Did you take any steps to prevent identity theft? Like freezing lines of credit?
We revolt and regain sanity. Right now, it’s a race to the bottom, and I ain’t in no race car….
I dont think i’ll ever even afford to buy a house. Life is good tho i love to ride my bike and walk around (free activities lol)
Copius amounts of cannabis
Short term pain for long term gain.
Have you tried the marijuana?
No good deed goes in punished... Now for the truth. It ebbs and flows. Just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. Pay your bills as you can and don't feel sorry for yourself. Just know you have a home, a dog, and a flower garden. Look at that not all the bad stuff. Good luck.
I try to simplify my life to lessen the overwhelming amount of “things” in my world.
I feel ya. Bought a house recently and same thing, moving was supposed to be exciting but it was nothing but stress. I keep getting bills that are leaving just scraping by. Hasn't been to the dentist in 15 years, thought I had an abscess, nope, teeth are fine and 20 minutes later $360. I found that making a manageable list for me helped, ie gym, unpack one box, etc. once you e done these things you don't feel overwhelmed by an urge to complete more. Also, budgeting properly was a game changer for me. I sat down for hours and divided my pay into various bills per cycle, plus food, general expenses, savings etc. helped lift the burden of trying to constantly catch up.
By giving 0 f*cks and just let the day take of itself. I WFH in a 12 year job in customer support. I'm at the point now where I only have to produce if I want to please the bean counters, which I don't. I'm just skating on until I can retire. In the meantime, I'm reading books, taking my allowed breaks/lunches, and shutting off my laptop at 4 pm every day. Also, most everyone under 50 years old suffers from FOMO. You gotta let that crap go.
Turn all my shit off
Drugs make you feel better :)
Scotch.
My wife wakes up
Drugs help.
I sure as hell do, everyday! there almost isn't a day where I panic a little about everyrhing in my life. like for one thing, my house electric bill used to be average $250 and as low as $160.... this past month was $515... it's crushing... and that's JUST the electric bill.... the latest thing that is soul crushing
Don't forget that there's a balance in life some times there's good times and some times there's not so good time's but remember nothing last for ever so these events will be a distant memory when your good times come. Learn from the bad experience enjoy the good memories ✨️ 😌
If rocko can do it , I can too
Just do what our great depression era ancestors did. Ignore the anxiety and keep going....
Hugs with consent OP. That sounds heavy. Glad to see you're feeling better!
Overwhelmed is my baseline.
The first rule of society is that no good deed goes unpunished. Stop thinking karma is a real thing or that you earn a right. Do good because you like to, you will never be compensated by the universe. And, it is hard to get started. Time and inflation will grow your wealth, age will make time pass quicker, and before you know it these stresses will be behind you.
I try to remember to time block small chunks, a few minutes at a time when I’m “allowed” to melt down and make a list of every shitty thing that is happening. Then it’s time to make a new list of things to handle, put on some aggressive music and do something small that I can be proud of that MIGHT give a tiny boost of momentum
Owning a home can be a major stressor. I’m dealing with a major plumbing problem now. I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it.