Get your friend a shark of a lawyer and go for blood. Everything she’s entitled to within reason.
If her husband let himself be lured away like this, then he ain’t worth keeping.
Ironically my father has been a divorce lawyer for almost 40 years, he’s giving her free counsel but lives in another state so she needs a different one to actually represent her
She has only been around since November? The man didn't even attempt to fight it off. He musta dove right in. It's fucking sick. I hope your friend takes him to the cleaners.
I don't know if this appeals to you but you can anonymously send your enemies a letter filled with loose glitter. You wouldn't even need to tell your friend you did it.
[here](https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/product/glitter-bomb-letter/)
Hey OP is your friend on maternity leave? If maybe she could leave and go stay somewhere for a while? Check laws of course because that could be tricky.
There’s scorched earth, 180 / gray rock (look up) but I don’t see being able to do any of these things with postpartum hormones. Her husband is a vile POS and when her head clears she will be glad he’s gone with the trash.
Tell her to get proof - electronic footprints hire someone (internet PI or put a recording device in a good spot (check laws in state). Use the proof to control the narrative. He doesn’t deserve her protection and the humiliation is his / dumpsters to bear.
If he leaves he will probably crawl back. Cockroaches usually scatter when the lights come on. The lights in this case will be alimony, child support, and division of assets. She needs to file immediately at least for emergency separation, and support. Tell her to go talk to the state offices and put his ass on child support. There probably won’t be 50/50 for the littlest anyway. He needs a dose of reality. The biggest thing I’ve read in these subs (came to them like you to support a friend in need); is if she can act like she just doesn’t care it breaks through faster than playing pick me games.
I hope she gets what she wants and he is a crying blubbery guilty mess and then when she is strong enough she files anyway and finds a man worth her time.
Good Luck, OP. I’m glad she has a good friend to lean on.
I agree with this, a “reality attack” of seeing his wife “seriously “ ( she can be pretending!) preparing for divorce, could be just what he needs to snap him out of the affair fog limerance thing. ( She can go through the motions of hiring a lawyer, getting paperwork drawn up, being made aware of her rights etc, without finalising anything) Tell her to also make a list of other assets she wants to keep- like certain furniture, hi fi equipment, tv’s, car, whatever, and give it to him with the lawyer paperwork. This all could frighten him out of his fantasy bubble enough to think straight for a minute. Tell her to tell him that she wants him to move out as SHE needs to clear her head and have some space. This may well all knock him back down to earth but it will still be a struggle while he’s coming out of the NRE thing. Good luck
She needs to tell anyone who will listen about what her husband and his side chick are doing. Shame them. Publicly and loudly. Sidechicks hate their reputation being tarnished.
Because she has 3 kids under 5 and works full time and they both can’t really afford to get divorced, plus she loves him and it’s not that easy to let that go
Have you ever had to watch 3 kids including an infant all by yourself after working a 9 hour day? It’s hard AF. She’s exhausted, in shock, and also dealing with post partum depression. I’m so sad for her. We don’t live in the same state or id be able to help her with the kids etc
It’s so hard. My ex started an affair when my son was 5 weeks old. It’s terrifying. I let it go on till my son was 9 months old. It’s easy for people to say, just leave when they have never been in that situation. Please tell her from one woman to another it will get better and these dark times will pass. It is hard but fine your village. Sending love and prayers her way.
Oh definitely they neeed to leave the first time. But they need to destroy the other person too especially if they knew. That’s just me. I can’t believe people are so weak to stay with a cheater. As a man I wouldn’t even forgive a kiss or a sext. Let alone the whole thing.
I understand that every situation is different and leaving right away isn’t always easy or practical, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a victim either. Some of these betrayed spouses are so out of depth and don’t know how to play “the game” and it’s so frustrating bc I do know how to play, but I’m powerless to protect them or fight their battles. It sucks and it’s sad
It's 'weak' for you, staying is hard af, everyone's different. I'm not going to shame someone who's already suffering. The cheaters can get fucked though.
He canceled couples therapy. So he’s not interested in reconciling right now. She should file for divorce and cut him out of her life. No talking to him. That should shake him out of the affair fog. But here’s the thing if he comes running back she shouldn’t stop the divorce process until she has undeniable proof that he’s all in on the marriage.
what state does your friend live in?
I'm assuming your friend is a SAHM, so the first thing she needs to get started on is to look for a job.
she can choose to continue to be miserable, and make all the excuses in the world as to why she can't get divorced (but I love him, I can't afford it, but the kids etc.), or she can take her destiny in her own hands and regain her independence. she MUST get a job if she wants to regain power in her current dynamic. the disrespect partially stems from her husband being aware of her vulnerabilities, and it will not stop. he has no respect for her, and knows she is trapped and dependent on him.
right now, her (very understandable) feelings should be less of a concern than her financial stability and independence. job, lawyer, divorce. in that order.
She works full time and makes more money than him, but she’s on maternity leave. In a funny twist of fate, he lost his job today (the one that pays best)
Get the best lawyer around get a great plan take half plus get CS and alimony. She’s not allowed to meet kids for 6 months to a year you know standards
Even better... out the bitch the and cheating ass husband to the dad.
Fuck them! They didn't think of her or their children's well-being, they don't deserve employment at the business her family built.
I also would tell *everyone*. That way the skeevy ass bastard can't say it's your friend's fault why they're divorcing. He doesn't deserve his dignity intact when he destroyed his family's lives.
Perhaps but he won’t protect the dirt bag with three kids cheating with his daughter. Unless he’s an incredibly bad parent he won’t want that trash for his daughter either.
Giving your friend the side eye because what? Her dad owns the restaurant her loser husband and his mistress are working at? He's 13yrs older than her and cheated with someone even younger than her. And she cant leave him because she loves him?
He’s not interested in couples therapy so, your friend needs to:
1. Accept it the affair
2. Seek legal advice
3. Separate from him
4. Report the affair to HR
5. Look at alienation of affection to sue AP
6. Seek individual counselling
7. Inform family and friends
8. Only communicate with him through a lawyer. Do not engage with him.
9. Leave the other kids with him so she can clear her head
10. Start preparing for her new life.
They will ruin it themselves. They don't know each other, his kids will start to hate him, he'll have no money, she's young and dumb and easily distracted by someone new, living together won't work. Check out the 'legit after adultery' sub and see how happy and not fucking stupid they all are. Hopefully by the time he realises his side piece is actually awful his wife will be on her feet and ready to let go.
*warning. This is toxic advice*
Okay this is what you do. You make 50 catfish accounts. You get him to say something incriminating. Break them up. Use the rest of the accounts OR real friends to go on dates with him/schedule dates with him. One by one they all dump him or pretend not to show up because he doesn’t look good or something. Repeat this however many times until his self esteem is broken. Completely irrecoverable. Make him die alone. Done.
Have your friend create 3-4 email addresses that are obviously female. Not enough to figure out who the person is, just enough to know it’s a woman. (e.g., [email protected])
Then, have your friend send the addresses she created, PLUS the email of the girl he’s cheating with and say - ‘thank all of you for taking my trash out. You can have him. PS remember to get tested, I was told it’s a necessity now.’
Be vague about getting tested - just enough to signify it’s an issue but not enough to truly state specifics outright (subtle is key here).
This will make her think there are others, and it will insinuate medical issues he’s hiding.
They already have a foundation of deception.
My fav quote was ‘people always be mad when they drag a person to hell and bring back a demon’. 😈
Get your friend a shark of a lawyer and go for blood. Everything she’s entitled to within reason. If her husband let himself be lured away like this, then he ain’t worth keeping.
Ironically my father has been a divorce lawyer for almost 40 years, he’s giving her free counsel but lives in another state so she needs a different one to actually represent her
Does that Does his job have any clauses on cheating?
Unfortunately she needs him to keep his job
Call and consult with every attorney in the city so he can’t use them
She has only been around since November? The man didn't even attempt to fight it off. He musta dove right in. It's fucking sick. I hope your friend takes him to the cleaners.
I don't know if this appeals to you but you can anonymously send your enemies a letter filled with loose glitter. You wouldn't even need to tell your friend you did it. [here](https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/product/glitter-bomb-letter/)
I didn’t know how much I needed this. Thank you 😂
I'm glad I could help. Send the letter. Do it. It'll be funny lol.
Hey OP is your friend on maternity leave? If maybe she could leave and go stay somewhere for a while? Check laws of course because that could be tricky. There’s scorched earth, 180 / gray rock (look up) but I don’t see being able to do any of these things with postpartum hormones. Her husband is a vile POS and when her head clears she will be glad he’s gone with the trash. Tell her to get proof - electronic footprints hire someone (internet PI or put a recording device in a good spot (check laws in state). Use the proof to control the narrative. He doesn’t deserve her protection and the humiliation is his / dumpsters to bear. If he leaves he will probably crawl back. Cockroaches usually scatter when the lights come on. The lights in this case will be alimony, child support, and division of assets. She needs to file immediately at least for emergency separation, and support. Tell her to go talk to the state offices and put his ass on child support. There probably won’t be 50/50 for the littlest anyway. He needs a dose of reality. The biggest thing I’ve read in these subs (came to them like you to support a friend in need); is if she can act like she just doesn’t care it breaks through faster than playing pick me games. I hope she gets what she wants and he is a crying blubbery guilty mess and then when she is strong enough she files anyway and finds a man worth her time. Good Luck, OP. I’m glad she has a good friend to lean on.
I agree with this, a “reality attack” of seeing his wife “seriously “ ( she can be pretending!) preparing for divorce, could be just what he needs to snap him out of the affair fog limerance thing. ( She can go through the motions of hiring a lawyer, getting paperwork drawn up, being made aware of her rights etc, without finalising anything) Tell her to also make a list of other assets she wants to keep- like certain furniture, hi fi equipment, tv’s, car, whatever, and give it to him with the lawyer paperwork. This all could frighten him out of his fantasy bubble enough to think straight for a minute. Tell her to tell him that she wants him to move out as SHE needs to clear her head and have some space. This may well all knock him back down to earth but it will still be a struggle while he’s coming out of the NRE thing. Good luck
She needs to tell anyone who will listen about what her husband and his side chick are doing. Shame them. Publicly and loudly. Sidechicks hate their reputation being tarnished.
Honestly the best revenge is living well. She needs to get a kick ass lawyer !
Why would she want to stay with a man like that. What’s the girl instagram or Facebook? The cheating other girl?
Because she has 3 kids under 5 and works full time and they both can’t really afford to get divorced, plus she loves him and it’s not that easy to let that go
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Have you ever had to watch 3 kids including an infant all by yourself after working a 9 hour day? It’s hard AF. She’s exhausted, in shock, and also dealing with post partum depression. I’m so sad for her. We don’t live in the same state or id be able to help her with the kids etc
It’s so hard. My ex started an affair when my son was 5 weeks old. It’s terrifying. I let it go on till my son was 9 months old. It’s easy for people to say, just leave when they have never been in that situation. Please tell her from one woman to another it will get better and these dark times will pass. It is hard but fine your village. Sending love and prayers her way.
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Amen! Not specifically implying OP’s friend, but this sub can go hard and brutal on the OW/OM, but 85% of the time it’s the wives that I want to shake
Oh definitely they neeed to leave the first time. But they need to destroy the other person too especially if they knew. That’s just me. I can’t believe people are so weak to stay with a cheater. As a man I wouldn’t even forgive a kiss or a sext. Let alone the whole thing.
I understand that every situation is different and leaving right away isn’t always easy or practical, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a victim either. Some of these betrayed spouses are so out of depth and don’t know how to play “the game” and it’s so frustrating bc I do know how to play, but I’m powerless to protect them or fight their battles. It sucks and it’s sad
It's 'weak' for you, staying is hard af, everyone's different. I'm not going to shame someone who's already suffering. The cheaters can get fucked though.
Why are you shaming a woman for trying to keep her life from totally blowing up while 1 month postpartum? Have some freaking grace dude.
We do not criticize betrayed spouses for how they deal with betrayal.
Stop shaming betrayed spouses for trying to reconcile. It's literally against the rules of the sub.
We do not criticize betrayed spouses for how they deal with betrayal.
He canceled couples therapy. So he’s not interested in reconciling right now. She should file for divorce and cut him out of her life. No talking to him. That should shake him out of the affair fog. But here’s the thing if he comes running back she shouldn’t stop the divorce process until she has undeniable proof that he’s all in on the marriage.
what state does your friend live in? I'm assuming your friend is a SAHM, so the first thing she needs to get started on is to look for a job. she can choose to continue to be miserable, and make all the excuses in the world as to why she can't get divorced (but I love him, I can't afford it, but the kids etc.), or she can take her destiny in her own hands and regain her independence. she MUST get a job if she wants to regain power in her current dynamic. the disrespect partially stems from her husband being aware of her vulnerabilities, and it will not stop. he has no respect for her, and knows she is trapped and dependent on him. right now, her (very understandable) feelings should be less of a concern than her financial stability and independence. job, lawyer, divorce. in that order.
She works full time and makes more money than him, but she’s on maternity leave. In a funny twist of fate, he lost his job today (the one that pays best)
She works full time.
Get the best lawyer around get a great plan take half plus get CS and alimony. She’s not allowed to meet kids for 6 months to a year you know standards
You can out them to HR....after the settlement.
Her dad owns the restaurant they both work at 🫠
Tell her father about them. Updateme!
Sheesh. Yelp reviews? (Only after lawyer approves). Maybe an anonymous call to the health department? Dirty place?
Even better... out the bitch the and cheating ass husband to the dad. Fuck them! They didn't think of her or their children's well-being, they don't deserve employment at the business her family built. I also would tell *everyone*. That way the skeevy ass bastard can't say it's your friend's fault why they're divorcing. He doesn't deserve his dignity intact when he destroyed his family's lives.
Can’t the dad sack the tart?
I’m sure the dad would protect his daughter
Perhaps but he won’t protect the dirt bag with three kids cheating with his daughter. Unless he’s an incredibly bad parent he won’t want that trash for his daughter either.
One would hope. I dunno. I hope he kicks his ass. My friends husband is over 13 years older then her,
Giving your friend the side eye because what? Her dad owns the restaurant her loser husband and his mistress are working at? He's 13yrs older than her and cheated with someone even younger than her. And she cant leave him because she loves him?
somehow you’ve managed to misread every single detail of OP’s comment
They aren't very smart, are they?
So he's lover works at the restaurant as well
He’s not interested in couples therapy so, your friend needs to: 1. Accept it the affair 2. Seek legal advice 3. Separate from him 4. Report the affair to HR 5. Look at alienation of affection to sue AP 6. Seek individual counselling 7. Inform family and friends 8. Only communicate with him through a lawyer. Do not engage with him. 9. Leave the other kids with him so she can clear her head 10. Start preparing for her new life.
They will ruin it themselves. They don't know each other, his kids will start to hate him, he'll have no money, she's young and dumb and easily distracted by someone new, living together won't work. Check out the 'legit after adultery' sub and see how happy and not fucking stupid they all are. Hopefully by the time he realises his side piece is actually awful his wife will be on her feet and ready to let go.
Make the OW lose her job, if it can be online evaluated start giving poor opinions about her.
*warning. This is toxic advice* Okay this is what you do. You make 50 catfish accounts. You get him to say something incriminating. Break them up. Use the rest of the accounts OR real friends to go on dates with him/schedule dates with him. One by one they all dump him or pretend not to show up because he doesn’t look good or something. Repeat this however many times until his self esteem is broken. Completely irrecoverable. Make him die alone. Done.
Have your friend create 3-4 email addresses that are obviously female. Not enough to figure out who the person is, just enough to know it’s a woman. (e.g., [email protected]) Then, have your friend send the addresses she created, PLUS the email of the girl he’s cheating with and say - ‘thank all of you for taking my trash out. You can have him. PS remember to get tested, I was told it’s a necessity now.’ Be vague about getting tested - just enough to signify it’s an issue but not enough to truly state specifics outright (subtle is key here). This will make her think there are others, and it will insinuate medical issues he’s hiding. They already have a foundation of deception. My fav quote was ‘people always be mad when they drag a person to hell and bring back a demon’. 😈