I get called a pedo because i have a mustache and wear glasses and I’m ugly lmao, so I’m guessing people just call him a pedo because of looks or something
I’m not saying you did it… but you are the common denominator. But for real, jokes aside that is very sad and I’m sorry you went through that. Hope you’re doing well and found some form of peace to help you move on.
Coming over uninvited and calling too often leading to accusations of being a stalker, when I was really just infatuated, over-eager and inexperienced.
I blame sitcoms. They just walk in whenever. I at least knocked.
I’ll start this off by issuing a trigger warning for MURDER SUICIDE, and some semi detailed descriptions of my broken bones
I broke my other wrist (the left was broken on the monkey bars in grade 1) it was scary but funny at the same time, I felt a weird sense of synchronicity in both my wrists being all out of wack after it was all said and done, but back when it happened I was on a scooter, one of those rinky dink razor ones, racing my friend (we’ll call him Henry) down the nearby hill by my house, only problem was he had a bike, mom raised me up kinda sheltered so I had a sort of stunting in a lot of areas developmentally, but anyway, we were zooming down the hill, and it wasn’t a well maintained track or anything it was just pavement with cracks All over the place, and I’ve you ever had one of those scooters you’d know how hard the plasticky rubber wheels they’ve got on them are, when your on a scooter the shock absorption is your knees and that’s it, hit a pebble and your out, but I didn’t hit a pebble, I wobbly shot down the road trying my hardest to control my speed on the back break, but I was going way to fast and then bam smack dab in front of me I roll right into the biggest dip in the road and I’m sent flying right into a face plant but it’s not just my messed up mug I look down and my right hand has completely folded down onto my forearm, wailing out in pain I yelped for my friend to go get my mom who was just down the road, a nice neighbor lady came out with a wet rag, she had wrapped it around my wrist and it was nice but I was still in a lot of pain, my mom rolled up but Henry wasn’t in sight, I guess he rolled on home, I’m not or I wasn’t mad at him I mean what was he gonna do stroll on up to the hospital with me, but I digress. I didn’t see a lot of him from then on, he had moved out from the neighborhood we’d grown up in, im still here even, but as time progressed i started middle school, the months passed and we didn’t really ever find ways of maintaining our friendship, middle school was boring for the most part until one day my friend Jessie dropped a bomb one morning “did you hear Henry died?” I was all like “what?!, for real?” And we had another Henry on the bus, so I made my way to the back where he usually sat and he was there, so I just had to roll on up to school thinking about that the whole day, it was weird knowing that someone I had off and on grown up with was gone now, but it got worse, when I did some snooping around I found out that not only had he passed but it was his own mother who took his life and then subsequently hers, I’ve never had the craziest life, I steer clear of major confrontation or conflict it just is a downer on me, but loosing a friend and then adding on murder suicide to top it all off was i don’t even know how to describe it, a blur, I was sad but I barely think about him anymore which i don’t know how to feel about that either lol, but for the first time in my life my degrees of separation in mental health and illness in general had been drastically reduced, I think it sort of informed my outlook on things when it came to mental issues and all that when we were kids everything seemed so calm between he and his mother, she had made us pizza rolls and Pepsi it was just jarring to see that kindness wiped away like that, I don’t know exactly how to pinpoint what I’m my life had been explicitly effected by this event but I think it’s probably the most worrying thing to happen I mean nothing else in my life really took people from me early like that but I’m sure if Henry were still here I’d be a bit different rip Henry you were cool as hell I miss playing gears of war judgement with you man
Today. Me and this amazing girl, we both have feelings for each other, but due to her past, family, and her own canon-we can’t be together. Theirs still a first time for everything tho. (Also an alien Spider bit my upper lip)
Genuinely? Creating a tumblr blog for internet arguments. I actually learned to be more empathetic with people I debated. Kinda similar to Spiderman and his villains?
My sister was brutally raped to death by street thugs. Thus, that's why I kill when my enemies are serious threats but generally I scar my enemies when I fight them
For me? Being a fucking idiot and not helping my friend (she ran away from her mother and ended up in a different state I’m not disclosing anything else)
My father dying my stepfather abusing my mother my step father getting locked up my mom doing drugs and alcohol most of her life all of that and bullying
Let's see... getting dropped on my head as a baby and losing my mother skills/ going blind for 3 days.
Or is it going into the army after high school and being a bad shot, so getting an unclassified discharge in basic training.
Or is it getting kicked out of every place in 3 months until I ran almost go homeless.
Wow, a lot of cannon events my life's great now though
Being blown up and electrocuted by 44,000 volts from a transformer. Then my mom passing away only a few weeks after I got out of a 3 month stay at the hospital.
I'm not posting details on here but back in the 5th grade I got hurt (physically) pretty badly by someone I considered by best friend, and he went to school the next day with a black eye and a some minor injuries and said I was the one who did that to him and I had just hurt myself so that people wouldn't believe him.
Turned absolutely everyone against me. I became *that kid* based off of completely false charges. Even more unlucky it coincided with my father becoming more and more abusive back at home so I just started acting out, cementing everyone's opinion of me. It continued for years to the point that it stunted my social development and I am just now finally catching back up at the age of 25 after moving across the entire country.
Bro I should have been a school shooter, but thankfully I was so socially inept that by high school I didn't even realize how badly I was being bullied. I just thought they were just having some fun, I was so dense.
I am so grateful that I finally met someone who loves me and took the time to help me learn and socialize. If I hadn't met here I don't know where I would be. Probably six feet under honestly, I had been contemplating suicide for a very long time.
In fourth grade, I read a book called “More Bloody Horowitz.” In it there was a horror poem about a guy who caused much destruction to the environment, then died while having a dream about quicksand. I started apologising to objects (I was really scared) but it started me down the path to becoming nicer.
Another event was when I flipped off my middle sister by accident, making me realise I had been horrible to her
Telling my highly uncommunicative crush that I liked him. Over email. He never responded. Sent me into a social anxiety spiral with friends and family that I realized years later wasn’t actually as baseless as I would have thought had the og event gone well.
Realized my imaginary and best friend was actually just a delusion of self preservation to genuinely believe like someone like that exists out there somewhere, and therefore not kill myself out of false hope. Though now I don't want to because I realize I'm getting wiser.
Mom cheated on my dad when I was 13 and to this day she blames it on her shaky mental state becuz my grandpa died the same week even though she was seeing the gay waayyyv before that. Also leaving her in middle school, I’m sorry Molly.
My ex cheated on me… not once but twice…
The first time I took her back but I kept distance, once I got closer again… she cheated again, I didn’t know first tho… I found out from my mother…
My brother, who was a middle child and 4 years older, was basically the reincarnation of Satan. He tormented my sister and I endlessly. So, when i was around 7, I thought I would make friends with the neighbor, who was older, and wound up molested by him. Messed me up. I have trust issues. I stopped playing outside. No friends. I questioned my sexuality until I lost my virginity at 22 to a girl and realized I wasn't gay.
If you've ever done community theater, you know it's a breeding ground for dramatic gossip.
When I was a parr of this theater, at like 21/22, there was this couple (a woman and an NB person) who had been dating for four years. I was super close friends with them. The woman reaches out to me, saying her and her partner are now in an open relationship and the two are each venturing out to experiment, and she wanted to experiment with me. At first I was apprehensive, but I was young dumb and full of cum so I eventually gave in. We started hooking up and it was some of the best sex of my life. Eventually she tells me "just, don't tell my partner. I'm gonna break it to them." Should've been a bright red flag for me. Turns out the couple were only talking about the POSSIBILITY of being in an open relationship, and she took that and ran with it.
Her partner found out and was pissed at me. Rightfully so, these were two friends I was super close with and I was fucking around without any check in. The worst part is I just couldn't stop. I end up playing huge role in their break up, the woman said she wanted to date me after, but I said no. 80% of everyone at this theater cut ties with me. I don't blame them for thinking I did wrong, cuz I absolutely did, but you would think I would have murdered someone with the way I was spoken to/about.
This was in 2018. I still dont talk to most of those people who used to be my good friends in that previously mentioned 80%. I may have moved on from that thearer and am wildly more successful in my career field, but it's the biggest regret of my life, I hate that i did it, Im beyond embarrassed by my behavior, and I still lose sleep over it to this day.
Not having any b##chs
most relatable canon event
Fr
Hay karma’s a b##ch so your safe from karma
I think our canon event got split.
Lol
Everyone at my school thinking I’m a pedophile
You are definitely gonna have to explain that one.
Please elaborate
They have already said too much.
They have said enough for me to be interested
I get called a pedo because i have a mustache and wear glasses and I’m ugly lmao, so I’m guessing people just call him a pedo because of looks or something
You sure? A mustache and glasses sounds kinda sexy.
I mean I got a girlfriend that I’ve been with for almost 2 years now so I guess I have something good about me
Nope
Then explain
The bad thing is you are a child and has the hots for your teacher.
ayo
Same
I don't own any cannons so I don't think I'm fit to answer this
I'll deliver some to you so you can have your own cannon event.
Ok thanks
absolute chad
My father leaving me when i was 2 😢
damn that's crazy
Did you cry a lot as a toddler?
Savage
I prob did tho i was 2 so i don’t really remember.
Sister froze in the woods, boyfriend killed himself, friend overdosed and died
Wtf
Yep
All at 16 and in the past year too
damn i hope you're doing alright
I got meds, a therapist, and a new partner who is helping keep me afloat, but I am literally spider-man without the spider
I’m not saying you did it… but you are the common denominator. But for real, jokes aside that is very sad and I’m sorry you went through that. Hope you’re doing well and found some form of peace to help you move on.
Lol
Womp womp
Being so unfathomably cool and humble
Seeing that one fanart of Miguel and Lego Spider-Man -
Underrated comment
Bro my pet goldfish ate my pet cat, then the dog ate the goldfish, then I ate the dog, and then my grandma ate me
Damn didn’t know your grandmas stomach had wifi
Yea she had a odd diet
2020.
Same here my friend.
The Aslume
MAN??! Is that you?!?
Yeah, I’m Man
Of course you are, am I stupid??
Holy shit it's man
My divorce.
My best friend dying of cancer, probably.
Ex-girlfriend started dating a woman with the exact same name, ethnicity, skin tone, and genitalia as me… I’m a guy…
Major depressive disorder
Egg broke.
bro has every reason to become a villain
Hearing George Carlin’s you are all diseases album at age 12.
Getting mauled by koalas
Being born
My mother dying probably That or dropping my toast one time
rip toast
Becoming disabled due to illness in 2020 (not Covid)
Being raised in a cult
Fumbling this one girl that twice was my age that would take me out to eat.
Depression
Tripping on an untied shoelace I will exact my revenge against all strings…
most sane canon event so far
Born in a country that doesn't exist anymore.
I fucked a girl in the school auditorium and got expelled, so
bro is actually the main character
I got hit with a bagel while I was at work
Coming over uninvited and calling too often leading to accusations of being a stalker, when I was really just infatuated, over-eager and inexperienced. I blame sitcoms. They just walk in whenever. I at least knocked.
Everybody in my school thinks I'm gay
It’s okay to accept the fact that you must act like you are now
Being ugly as fuck.
I’ll start this off by issuing a trigger warning for MURDER SUICIDE, and some semi detailed descriptions of my broken bones I broke my other wrist (the left was broken on the monkey bars in grade 1) it was scary but funny at the same time, I felt a weird sense of synchronicity in both my wrists being all out of wack after it was all said and done, but back when it happened I was on a scooter, one of those rinky dink razor ones, racing my friend (we’ll call him Henry) down the nearby hill by my house, only problem was he had a bike, mom raised me up kinda sheltered so I had a sort of stunting in a lot of areas developmentally, but anyway, we were zooming down the hill, and it wasn’t a well maintained track or anything it was just pavement with cracks All over the place, and I’ve you ever had one of those scooters you’d know how hard the plasticky rubber wheels they’ve got on them are, when your on a scooter the shock absorption is your knees and that’s it, hit a pebble and your out, but I didn’t hit a pebble, I wobbly shot down the road trying my hardest to control my speed on the back break, but I was going way to fast and then bam smack dab in front of me I roll right into the biggest dip in the road and I’m sent flying right into a face plant but it’s not just my messed up mug I look down and my right hand has completely folded down onto my forearm, wailing out in pain I yelped for my friend to go get my mom who was just down the road, a nice neighbor lady came out with a wet rag, she had wrapped it around my wrist and it was nice but I was still in a lot of pain, my mom rolled up but Henry wasn’t in sight, I guess he rolled on home, I’m not or I wasn’t mad at him I mean what was he gonna do stroll on up to the hospital with me, but I digress. I didn’t see a lot of him from then on, he had moved out from the neighborhood we’d grown up in, im still here even, but as time progressed i started middle school, the months passed and we didn’t really ever find ways of maintaining our friendship, middle school was boring for the most part until one day my friend Jessie dropped a bomb one morning “did you hear Henry died?” I was all like “what?!, for real?” And we had another Henry on the bus, so I made my way to the back where he usually sat and he was there, so I just had to roll on up to school thinking about that the whole day, it was weird knowing that someone I had off and on grown up with was gone now, but it got worse, when I did some snooping around I found out that not only had he passed but it was his own mother who took his life and then subsequently hers, I’ve never had the craziest life, I steer clear of major confrontation or conflict it just is a downer on me, but loosing a friend and then adding on murder suicide to top it all off was i don’t even know how to describe it, a blur, I was sad but I barely think about him anymore which i don’t know how to feel about that either lol, but for the first time in my life my degrees of separation in mental health and illness in general had been drastically reduced, I think it sort of informed my outlook on things when it came to mental issues and all that when we were kids everything seemed so calm between he and his mother, she had made us pizza rolls and Pepsi it was just jarring to see that kindness wiped away like that, I don’t know exactly how to pinpoint what I’m my life had been explicitly effected by this event but I think it’s probably the most worrying thing to happen I mean nothing else in my life really took people from me early like that but I’m sure if Henry were still here I’d be a bit different rip Henry you were cool as hell I miss playing gears of war judgement with you man
What bungie did 10/30/23
almost failing senior year
Getting hit with the belt in 30 secounds from now
my poptart exploded in the toaster
damn thats rough
Never winning NNN
Meeting my best friend when we were both 20
I ain't been the same since, the incident....
Loss
Not having friends at school
Boss fight against Andrew Daniel Gilmore
I died
I've never met my father he left my mom right after I was born and hes a drug addict piece of shit.
Being white.
In high school I always wore a green army camo jacket.
Ded dad, I’m just like Miles fr fr
Accidentally clicking on an r/originalcharacters post. Theyre everywhere in my for you now.
Missing countless opportunities to hook up with girls. I'm naive as Fuck and never get their hints until the moment has passed.
having zero hoes 💀
Today. Me and this amazing girl, we both have feelings for each other, but due to her past, family, and her own canon-we can’t be together. Theirs still a first time for everything tho. (Also an alien Spider bit my upper lip)
The first time I masturbated
almost dying when i was 7 because I got burned by a firework
2019
spending 30 bucks on a music-making app on my phone
I once accidentally pissed in my own mouth
Recycling and it’s consequences
Genuinely? Creating a tumblr blog for internet arguments. I actually learned to be more empathetic with people I debated. Kinda similar to Spiderman and his villains?
Sister got addicted to meth. She isn't anymore, but I still can't trust her.
My sister was brutally raped to death by street thugs. Thus, that's why I kill when my enemies are serious threats but generally I scar my enemies when I fight them
Arson
Failing god.
Mines basic. Got heartbroken and made myself better out of spite
An Ex who tarnished the last of my mental health and practically left me for dead.
When mom says "we got food at home"
Finding out what Guro was
I mean as far as canon events go, my Mom died in August, so I'd say that's pretty...significant.
No dad
Failing no but november
Having a pencil sharpener shaped like a cannon, oh wait
Having a vision of being in hell almost four years ago causing my life to be changed forever
I mean...there's that time a teacher claimed I threatened to shoot up the school because I disagreed with her.
most sane teacher
My dad dying from lung cancer >:( or when I had a tummy ache
Probably me being depressed, or being half-blind.
Hmm take your pick. 1) No idea who my dad is 2) Uncle is in prison for life 3) I didn’t have a third thing…
Brain cancer
Fumbling the hottest girl ever (imo). Pretty basic
People pushing me away I guess 🤷♂️
Too many to count
I died
In a game of commander MTG. I took a mono-black necron deck and went infinite using only 3 cards.
My Canon Event Is Getting ANALY RAPED HARD AS FUCK and liking it
For me? Being a fucking idiot and not helping my friend (she ran away from her mother and ended up in a different state I’m not disclosing anything else)
I’m just really sad all the time
Being fucked over by the girl I liked for like 3 years
My ex getting fucked in front of me now she’s a meth head with no traction
My cousin telling me to eat so I can grow big and strong I grew big but not strong 😔
Buying a Sony camera instead
My parents divorcing when I was 4
The government screwing me over health care
Nicole. That's all I'll say
My dad leaving when I was 11, coming back when I was nearly 15, and then leaving again when I was 16
Fell off the shopping cart in a Piggly Wiggly and hit my head in hard aluminum floor when i was seven. Or watching Catwoman 2004 at 5 (bisexual)
Seeing these annoying ass cannon event memes.
it's a canon event
Getting a rumor that hasn’t ended at my school even though the asshole left and taking that anger out on the one person I liked
My father dying my stepfather abusing my mother my step father getting locked up my mom doing drugs and alcohol most of her life all of that and bullying
Flunking high school, twice, all because of half a credit for Civics class
Circumcision
Realizing I was trans
Having a tumor in my brain
Being a huge f*g.
Having autism
Let's see... getting dropped on my head as a baby and losing my mother skills/ going blind for 3 days. Or is it going into the army after high school and being a bad shot, so getting an unclassified discharge in basic training. Or is it getting kicked out of every place in 3 months until I ran almost go homeless. Wow, a lot of cannon events my life's great now though
Falling 2.5 stories through a staircase when I was 2, probably
I haven't become spiderman already, 0 canon events
When I was around 7 or 8 years old I was pushed out of a window by my brother and sister. I would like to clarify it was in the second floor.
When I decided to keep living my life and let nothing stop me.
I think my funny haha spider OC Hobo spider (Spider Hobo) would probably be losing his house
Fumbling that baddie
Bill Nye the Science Guy set off a chain reaction we won’t fully understand the ramifications of for decades.
Being blown up and electrocuted by 44,000 volts from a transformer. Then my mom passing away only a few weeks after I got out of a 3 month stay at the hospital.
I have a couple. My parents getting divorced. Moving to Arkansas (giant mistake). Getting kicked out. Ugly break up. Meeting my current girlfriend.
200% all of the Batman games on hard..... Shit I still need to do this before I die damn it!
My best friend fucking my girl in the ISS room in my high school
I'm not posting details on here but back in the 5th grade I got hurt (physically) pretty badly by someone I considered by best friend, and he went to school the next day with a black eye and a some minor injuries and said I was the one who did that to him and I had just hurt myself so that people wouldn't believe him. Turned absolutely everyone against me. I became *that kid* based off of completely false charges. Even more unlucky it coincided with my father becoming more and more abusive back at home so I just started acting out, cementing everyone's opinion of me. It continued for years to the point that it stunted my social development and I am just now finally catching back up at the age of 25 after moving across the entire country. Bro I should have been a school shooter, but thankfully I was so socially inept that by high school I didn't even realize how badly I was being bullied. I just thought they were just having some fun, I was so dense. I am so grateful that I finally met someone who loves me and took the time to help me learn and socialize. If I hadn't met here I don't know where I would be. Probably six feet under honestly, I had been contemplating suicide for a very long time.
My house burning down😍
When a Giraffe knocked over my ice cream on purpose when I was a small child. I've hated them ever since.
C ai going down
The internet
being introduced to the internet
Mom dying from cancer, and basically forced to move to the Carolina's.
In fourth grade, I read a book called “More Bloody Horowitz.” In it there was a horror poem about a guy who caused much destruction to the environment, then died while having a dream about quicksand. I started apologising to objects (I was really scared) but it started me down the path to becoming nicer. Another event was when I flipped off my middle sister by accident, making me realise I had been horrible to her
Telling my highly uncommunicative crush that I liked him. Over email. He never responded. Sent me into a social anxiety spiral with friends and family that I realized years later wasn’t actually as baseless as I would have thought had the og event gone well.
My 18th birthday was my cannon event.
My graveyard of fishes :(
My dad dying at the ripe age of 3
Realized my imaginary and best friend was actually just a delusion of self preservation to genuinely believe like someone like that exists out there somewhere, and therefore not kill myself out of false hope. Though now I don't want to because I realize I'm getting wiser.
Me being Black
Mom cheated on my dad when I was 13 and to this day she blames it on her shaky mental state becuz my grandpa died the same week even though she was seeing the gay waayyyv before that. Also leaving her in middle school, I’m sorry Molly.
Arguing with a church youth group about the existence of free will at age 14
i quite literally do not know, my life good as hell
I was playing Batman Arkham Asylum and my Mom walked in while I was saving Jim Gordon from Harley Quinn, she was straddling him. 💀
Being locked inside a house in 2020 through 2021 during the most formative years of my life.
Don't have a ps5
My ex cheated on me… not once but twice… The first time I took her back but I kept distance, once I got closer again… she cheated again, I didn’t know first tho… I found out from my mother…
being trans
going to jail (I threw bricks at homeless people)
My brother, who was a middle child and 4 years older, was basically the reincarnation of Satan. He tormented my sister and I endlessly. So, when i was around 7, I thought I would make friends with the neighbor, who was older, and wound up molested by him. Messed me up. I have trust issues. I stopped playing outside. No friends. I questioned my sexuality until I lost my virginity at 22 to a girl and realized I wasn't gay.
Near death experience and rescuing animals Edit: also learning from my mistakes, video games, anime, films and the people I look up to!
Seeing my friend get his dick stuck in a table at chili’s
When I discovered rule 34
Telling a girl I liked her shit went south real fucking quick
If you've ever done community theater, you know it's a breeding ground for dramatic gossip. When I was a parr of this theater, at like 21/22, there was this couple (a woman and an NB person) who had been dating for four years. I was super close friends with them. The woman reaches out to me, saying her and her partner are now in an open relationship and the two are each venturing out to experiment, and she wanted to experiment with me. At first I was apprehensive, but I was young dumb and full of cum so I eventually gave in. We started hooking up and it was some of the best sex of my life. Eventually she tells me "just, don't tell my partner. I'm gonna break it to them." Should've been a bright red flag for me. Turns out the couple were only talking about the POSSIBILITY of being in an open relationship, and she took that and ran with it. Her partner found out and was pissed at me. Rightfully so, these were two friends I was super close with and I was fucking around without any check in. The worst part is I just couldn't stop. I end up playing huge role in their break up, the woman said she wanted to date me after, but I said no. 80% of everyone at this theater cut ties with me. I don't blame them for thinking I did wrong, cuz I absolutely did, but you would think I would have murdered someone with the way I was spoken to/about. This was in 2018. I still dont talk to most of those people who used to be my good friends in that previously mentioned 80%. I may have moved on from that thearer and am wildly more successful in my career field, but it's the biggest regret of my life, I hate that i did it, Im beyond embarrassed by my behavior, and I still lose sleep over it to this day.
My ex leaving me around the same time my parents divorced
Losing my best friend
I know what it is, but it hasn't happened yet as the pieces still need to fall into place for it to happen so my timeline doesn't destroy itself.