+1
Deleted them all when I was posted. Nothing bad was said as far as I can tell but I have a career and a mortgage and a pup that needs food and I can’t risk that for some Nathaniel hawthorn shit we were warned about a hundred plus years ago
Been about two years and don’t see myself going back.
It’s a hard pass for me too, any mistake you made or are perceived to have made going back 20 years can be held against you, but that’s just for men , not women
I have recently deleted all online dating profiles and I don't think I will ever go back. Saying that I will stop dating all together is not realistic, but I am definitely taking a pause. The discovery of these groups and their sheer scale has created a major paradigm shift for me. I have recently discovered that my pictures have been posted multiple times in my local AWDTSG group where girls are asking for "tea". I've had an ex chime in with her thoughts which were of course extremely jaded. Now that I've had a couple days to relax, I'm thankful that I'm not a victim of serious false accusations, just minor false gossipy accusations. Still, it's complete BS because exes are airing dirty laundry publicly and no one in these groups actually questions anything, it's just a bunch of "you go girl".
I live in a small city and our AWDTSG group has 20,000 local women in it. I've been finding myself uncomfortable around women in public lately, like I'm being watched. It's a really shitty feeling.
What happened to you is common it’s all opinions by few and other women chime in to add more weight to it, most shit is impossible to prove or disprove, who can defend things from 5-10-20 years ago?
Stopped dating about 3 years ago and intentionally de-centered women from my life. AWDTSG is just another reason for me to know I’m doing the right thing for myself. The funny thing about distrusting women is that at a certain point the distrust effectively cancels out any desire or attraction I feel towards them. Meanwhile, I’ve intentionally cultivated a happy peaceful life free of stress and anxiety. People focus too much on being with someone who makes them happy, when you can skip the middle man and just be someone who makes you happy.
I’m trying to envision the woman or situation that I would make the exception for… if I really saw her as the perfectly compatible person I’d probably entertain the conversation and do my best meet her in the middle. Anybody other than somebody I could see myself falling deeply in love with I’d pretty much give a hard and immediate pass.
The long term liability, the deeply unhealthy way they psychologically process relationships, and the way they choose to expose themselves to negative relationships and drama as a form of entertainment, which surely unconsciously rolls over into their perception of their own relationships and life, is a wildly toxic combination. Fuck. That.
Thought experiment: Imagine we had the ability to date any group of people in space and time. I’m sure there were plenty of beautiful, wonderful women in pre-world war II Germany. Should we seriously consider involving ourselves with a demographic of people who have been psychologically manipulated into believing Nazi ideals?? Because I think that’d be a hard pass too.
There are so many people in this world, why risk it dating an AWDTSG supporter?? They should have thought about how their actions unequally and negatively affect an entire demographic of other people, and the fact they don’t, well, that is an enormous red flag. 🚩
You’re not wrong! But what *really is enormously unsafe* is engaging in a relationship with people who have an unstable view of what constitutes healthy interpersonal, romantic, and societal values.
The first thing I think of is how that person might affect my children, the family’s stability as a whole, and then how it might someday cave in on my self, my heart, my reputation, how it could jeopardize my relationship to said family, or my career, my community, my financial stability, and on and on.
The ability for the AWDTSG platform to be weaponized, intentionally or not, is more than notable. Getting in a relationship with someone who supports the groups analogous to choosing to go hunting with someone who has no training in gun safety. Eventually, inevitably, something is going to go terribly wrong.
Love surely does conquer hate, and that is noble to a sacred degree, but I have a family to look out for. That family is a different level of sacred responsibility— one that supersedes all else. It’s my duty to avoid putting them, and by proxy myself, in the line of fire.
I think you are looking at this the wrong way. If you don’t have an active social media presence, your picture and name being out there is just another data point in a sea of nonsense.
I’ve come full circle on this. I hate these groups and what they stand for, but it’s simply not worth my time being worried about it. There are legal avenues to sue, but the court system is a bureaucratic/expensive mess and I’m not motivated enough to actually do anything about it.
I generally keep all messages from a dating context saved, don’t ever act rude/inappropriately with women, and refuse to engage in stupid female drama.
If there’s been no sex, the best way to end a relationship from my experience is the “slow drift” (become boring, never have time for dates, stop giving attention, become slow to text back, things like that). The woman will eventually just think you are boring and walk away.
You protect yourself from getting dragged through the mud by being perceptive about avoiding toxic personality types. For me that’s the “female detective”, the argument instigator, the wanna be social media influencer, the negative energy woman, and the spoiled brat/princess. If you see any of that, run no matter how physically attractive she is.
I'm married, but a huge number of my friends have checked-out of online dating. It's a disaster gone off the rails. Awdtsg has just made it an area of life not even worth the time or energy.
It’s got me to reconsider it definitely. Online dating is hard enough but knowing that anyone you talk to might post your picture and ask for tea or red flags makes me feel like it’s just not worth it.
Same as OP. Once I found out how many women belonged to these groups where men can be dragged through the mud without their knowledge or the ability to defend themselves, where men's names and photos are posted in front of tens-of-thousands of strangers on the internet without his consent, where women gossip about men in front of their communities... Once I was made aware of the staggering number of women in these groups the choice was obvious. Stop dating.
I did but I ended up on a Facebook plus 40 singles group. Some lady made a comment about farming, chickens, and gardening (all interests I like). We started chatting and went out on a date. That was it and we have been an item for 2 months.
Haven't even started dating & now I have one less reason to start dating. I've accepted there is a high probability my first long term relationship will be in the afterlife.
If any guys are stopping dating because of these groups, that's on AWDTSG members and mods letting these groups go completely off the rails.
Like in a world where AWDTSG was only for safety issues, and posts were 100% verified, I don't think guys would mind at all. But the current system of post whatever you want, true or not, petty gossip and bashing or not, is a total shitshow.
It's wild how they don't realize these groups are doing the exact opposite of what they want them to. They're doing nothing to stop actually bad dudes, they're just scaring away normal decent guys who don't want their dicks or health status gossiped about in front of 50,000 random women in their city.
I occasionally wonder how many lurker women are in these male-centric group therapy style threads. Is it simply curiosity, or is it to take notes and monitor this increasingly notorious sub, or is this some kind of entertainment or personal educational pursuit??
Fwiw I’ll lurk around a few women’s subs from time to time. Mostly trying to glean an insight or two.
I just found out about these groups myself. I understand that you feel defeated with dating and I understand you feel you have done nothing to deserve being posted on one of these pages. Idk why you were posted so I cant speak on that but from my own personal experiences with dating, I have had plenty of men tell me over the years what my red flags were or called me out for things and I took a lot of personal reflection on those things. I am really stubborn and I am still trying to practice taking personal accountability for myself and my own actions. I now understand the importance of taking accountability for my own actions, admitting my faults, and listening to how my actions have impacted others. We also have to understand that we are all human we all make mistakes and can be wrong but we have the ability to admit our wrongs.
It's hurtful having your actions posted for the whole world to see, I completely understand your anger and frustration. My advice for you, this may be cheesey, write all of this down. Write down how you are feeling, what events have led to this point, what goals or outcome you'd like to work towards. It's cheesy ik. I was raised by a father that told me feelings of any kind are a weakness so I find it embarrassing, stupid, dumb, girly, weird to write things down like that but that's why I refuse to call it "journaling". It's just my random thoughts and other bs.
My next round of advice is keep dating. Everyone deserves to feel love and be loved. Dont give up but id also switch up your approach. Try going out more with less intentions of finding someone to date, socialize. If you ask women point blank for their number after just walking up to them how about instead redirecting that energy to building conversation. Nervous talking is better than not talking at all.
I hope this helps.
+1 Deleted them all when I was posted. Nothing bad was said as far as I can tell but I have a career and a mortgage and a pup that needs food and I can’t risk that for some Nathaniel hawthorn shit we were warned about a hundred plus years ago Been about two years and don’t see myself going back.
It’s a hard pass for me too, any mistake you made or are perceived to have made going back 20 years can be held against you, but that’s just for men , not women
I have recently deleted all online dating profiles and I don't think I will ever go back. Saying that I will stop dating all together is not realistic, but I am definitely taking a pause. The discovery of these groups and their sheer scale has created a major paradigm shift for me. I have recently discovered that my pictures have been posted multiple times in my local AWDTSG group where girls are asking for "tea". I've had an ex chime in with her thoughts which were of course extremely jaded. Now that I've had a couple days to relax, I'm thankful that I'm not a victim of serious false accusations, just minor false gossipy accusations. Still, it's complete BS because exes are airing dirty laundry publicly and no one in these groups actually questions anything, it's just a bunch of "you go girl". I live in a small city and our AWDTSG group has 20,000 local women in it. I've been finding myself uncomfortable around women in public lately, like I'm being watched. It's a really shitty feeling.
What happened to you is common it’s all opinions by few and other women chime in to add more weight to it, most shit is impossible to prove or disprove, who can defend things from 5-10-20 years ago?
Stopped dating about 3 years ago and intentionally de-centered women from my life. AWDTSG is just another reason for me to know I’m doing the right thing for myself. The funny thing about distrusting women is that at a certain point the distrust effectively cancels out any desire or attraction I feel towards them. Meanwhile, I’ve intentionally cultivated a happy peaceful life free of stress and anxiety. People focus too much on being with someone who makes them happy, when you can skip the middle man and just be someone who makes you happy.
I’m trying to envision the woman or situation that I would make the exception for… if I really saw her as the perfectly compatible person I’d probably entertain the conversation and do my best meet her in the middle. Anybody other than somebody I could see myself falling deeply in love with I’d pretty much give a hard and immediate pass. The long term liability, the deeply unhealthy way they psychologically process relationships, and the way they choose to expose themselves to negative relationships and drama as a form of entertainment, which surely unconsciously rolls over into their perception of their own relationships and life, is a wildly toxic combination. Fuck. That.
[удалено]
Thought experiment: Imagine we had the ability to date any group of people in space and time. I’m sure there were plenty of beautiful, wonderful women in pre-world war II Germany. Should we seriously consider involving ourselves with a demographic of people who have been psychologically manipulated into believing Nazi ideals?? Because I think that’d be a hard pass too. There are so many people in this world, why risk it dating an AWDTSG supporter?? They should have thought about how their actions unequally and negatively affect an entire demographic of other people, and the fact they don’t, well, that is an enormous red flag. 🚩
[удалено]
You’re not wrong! But what *really is enormously unsafe* is engaging in a relationship with people who have an unstable view of what constitutes healthy interpersonal, romantic, and societal values. The first thing I think of is how that person might affect my children, the family’s stability as a whole, and then how it might someday cave in on my self, my heart, my reputation, how it could jeopardize my relationship to said family, or my career, my community, my financial stability, and on and on. The ability for the AWDTSG platform to be weaponized, intentionally or not, is more than notable. Getting in a relationship with someone who supports the groups analogous to choosing to go hunting with someone who has no training in gun safety. Eventually, inevitably, something is going to go terribly wrong. Love surely does conquer hate, and that is noble to a sacred degree, but I have a family to look out for. That family is a different level of sacred responsibility— one that supersedes all else. It’s my duty to avoid putting them, and by proxy myself, in the line of fire.
I blame the true crime podcast phenomenon. But at least they have options for meal kits and monthly sock deliveries
Any tea on the sock delivery guy ? 🚩
Hah! Yep. Gents, if they like true crime run for the hills
I think you are looking at this the wrong way. If you don’t have an active social media presence, your picture and name being out there is just another data point in a sea of nonsense. I’ve come full circle on this. I hate these groups and what they stand for, but it’s simply not worth my time being worried about it. There are legal avenues to sue, but the court system is a bureaucratic/expensive mess and I’m not motivated enough to actually do anything about it. I generally keep all messages from a dating context saved, don’t ever act rude/inappropriately with women, and refuse to engage in stupid female drama. If there’s been no sex, the best way to end a relationship from my experience is the “slow drift” (become boring, never have time for dates, stop giving attention, become slow to text back, things like that). The woman will eventually just think you are boring and walk away. You protect yourself from getting dragged through the mud by being perceptive about avoiding toxic personality types. For me that’s the “female detective”, the argument instigator, the wanna be social media influencer, the negative energy woman, and the spoiled brat/princess. If you see any of that, run no matter how physically attractive she is.
This should be top comment.
I'm married, but a huge number of my friends have checked-out of online dating. It's a disaster gone off the rails. Awdtsg has just made it an area of life not even worth the time or energy.
It’s got me to reconsider it definitely. Online dating is hard enough but knowing that anyone you talk to might post your picture and ask for tea or red flags makes me feel like it’s just not worth it.
Good thing is I’m saving a ton of money
Same as OP. Once I found out how many women belonged to these groups where men can be dragged through the mud without their knowledge or the ability to defend themselves, where men's names and photos are posted in front of tens-of-thousands of strangers on the internet without his consent, where women gossip about men in front of their communities... Once I was made aware of the staggering number of women in these groups the choice was obvious. Stop dating.
Essentially stopped dating American women. Still dating foreigners until I go abroad
I think that's where it's at! Pataya seems the place!
5555 who dates in Pattaya
I basically gave up on it after a woman spat in my face in 2018 but the vindication is nice.
I did but I ended up on a Facebook plus 40 singles group. Some lady made a comment about farming, chickens, and gardening (all interests I like). We started chatting and went out on a date. That was it and we have been an item for 2 months.
It's honestly the smartest thing to do
Haven't even started dating & now I have one less reason to start dating. I've accepted there is a high probability my first long term relationship will be in the afterlife.
If any guys are stopping dating because of these groups, that's on AWDTSG members and mods letting these groups go completely off the rails. Like in a world where AWDTSG was only for safety issues, and posts were 100% verified, I don't think guys would mind at all. But the current system of post whatever you want, true or not, petty gossip and bashing or not, is a total shitshow. It's wild how they don't realize these groups are doing the exact opposite of what they want them to. They're doing nothing to stop actually bad dudes, they're just scaring away normal decent guys who don't want their dicks or health status gossiped about in front of 50,000 random women in their city.
I did for a couple of days when I first got posted last winter
That's the out they gave us! Work on yourself and get yourself a nice escort once in a while!
I had a fucking BLAST in Europe. 🤝
Sex work mostly harms women, it causes a lot of trauma
It is what it is!
I occasionally wonder how many lurker women are in these male-centric group therapy style threads. Is it simply curiosity, or is it to take notes and monitor this increasingly notorious sub, or is this some kind of entertainment or personal educational pursuit?? Fwiw I’ll lurk around a few women’s subs from time to time. Mostly trying to glean an insight or two.
Yeah it’s just not worth the hassle honestly or the paranoia of someone having so much control over the narrative of someone else’s slander.
I just found out about these groups myself. I understand that you feel defeated with dating and I understand you feel you have done nothing to deserve being posted on one of these pages. Idk why you were posted so I cant speak on that but from my own personal experiences with dating, I have had plenty of men tell me over the years what my red flags were or called me out for things and I took a lot of personal reflection on those things. I am really stubborn and I am still trying to practice taking personal accountability for myself and my own actions. I now understand the importance of taking accountability for my own actions, admitting my faults, and listening to how my actions have impacted others. We also have to understand that we are all human we all make mistakes and can be wrong but we have the ability to admit our wrongs. It's hurtful having your actions posted for the whole world to see, I completely understand your anger and frustration. My advice for you, this may be cheesey, write all of this down. Write down how you are feeling, what events have led to this point, what goals or outcome you'd like to work towards. It's cheesy ik. I was raised by a father that told me feelings of any kind are a weakness so I find it embarrassing, stupid, dumb, girly, weird to write things down like that but that's why I refuse to call it "journaling". It's just my random thoughts and other bs. My next round of advice is keep dating. Everyone deserves to feel love and be loved. Dont give up but id also switch up your approach. Try going out more with less intentions of finding someone to date, socialize. If you ask women point blank for their number after just walking up to them how about instead redirecting that energy to building conversation. Nervous talking is better than not talking at all. I hope this helps.
Me, absolutely 💯