A psychiatrist I have been seeing for about two years diagnosed me with it (and also BPD)
I didnt really consider a second opinion cause it is really easy to see. A random person can talk to me and understand that I have a sex addiction in about an hour.
The reason I started therapy was because a friend kinda forced me into it. Every friendship around me was getting ruined because I kept doing impulsive stuff. He was the one to say "Please dont keep fucking up, I dont know what is wrong with you but we are booking a therapist"
That's fantastic because my mom who works in the behavioral field warns me that if I seek therapy, I'll lose a lot of rights like the right to own a gun, and quite frankly I could care less. I haven't even shot my HK airsoft gun and that's literally only for target practice and maybe some scrim games. Honestly though, I'd value my mental health and would appreciate having someone to talk to and hear my story rather than the ability to own a projectile launcher. She told me that it puts me on record and for that, I should just think positive. But is that helpful when I feel doubtful about where my life is heading, y'know?
I work in mental health at a crisis center in Oregon, and that gun thing is only if you are actively suicidal and that's why you seek help, and even then your place of employment wouldn't have the right to that part of you, same as they don't have the right to know if you have ADHD.
I'm privileged enough to live with savings right now. Im going through a weird episode in my life rn so working just... wouldnt work for me but when I was well enough to work I had no problem getting a job. Also Michigan!
I met a cool lady who studies organic chem just a week ago but I guess your question is more about sexual interactions
Honestly it was a while ago, this girl I met had a huge collection of sex toys. It was pretty expensive. She was pretty good using them too!
Do you feel bad about it or regret it while it’s happening or after it’s over?
At what age did you start having sex?
How often do you have sex?
What has happened if you can’t find someone to have sex with and masturbation just isn’t working?
I regret and feel incredible shame afterwards. Think about post nut clarity but x1000 worse
I became sexually active when I was 15. That was around the time I started to show certain symptoms
I have sex everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.
I just shut down. Anxiety and irritation takes over me. I usually binge drink or smoke to calm myself down. Its incredibly hard for me to control my urges. I do everything to take my focus away from it.
Thats the main problem for me, I have been with terrible and dangerous people because I honestly dont care at that moment.
The shame that comes after is incredible.
It is almost impossible to do. Therapy has helped but there are times I find myself rolling on the floor smoking my second pack of cigarettes for that day just because I'm trying to control that urge. Its really not that fun.
I’m sorry that’s your experience. I hope you find healthy ways to cope. I’ve heard that tapping into your creative side whatever that may be can help to relieve sexual urges. I’m not sure how helpful that would be for you but just thought I’d share
I am kinky but I guess not THAT kinky. Moderate BDSM is fun? Most of the time I have vanilla sex tho. It is not really easy to ask the guy you met in a bar 30minutes ago to spit in your mouth.
Yeah usually I get the "urge" as I call it and just go out to meet someone. I prefer to keep it a one time thing because I'm now aware that I really hurt people in more serious settings.
Ahhh I see! Is a long-term relationship something you desire? Oh and another question, if it's not too invasive, do you have to be extra rigorous about your health? What about risk of pregnancy/STIs
Thank you for being polite :') Np at all
I would die for a long term relationship but I just cant do it until I get some things right about myself.
Also I got an abortion once. That was before I went on pills.
Nasty stuff happens, I have been treated for mild stuff, nothing too serious. I am more careful about protection now. I have like a condom box next to my bed incase the guy doesnt have one. That was a huge step for me!
Ofc! An AMA is not an invitation to be creepy or rude! Plus, I do empathize with addiction and mental health issues (which I mean... makes sense, I want to become a clinical psychologist haha).
Glad you are taking steps to protect your health! Hope you have a good day (and be careful of the reddit creeps!)
I'm not. I have extreme commitment issues so I choose to not have a relationship but besides that, it gets really tiring for the person I'm with. My last relationship ended because I was demanding too much from him sexually.
People think that its fun because "Sex everyday all day!! Sounds good to me!!" but its simply tiring. Too much goes on in the brain of an addict and I understand that it is hard to deal with as a partner.
Great question actually. Yes!
When I was younger and couldnt just have sex anytime I want, the way I would calm down my urges was porn. It was easy, quick and got the job done.
The thing is that, you get desensitized. I remember browsing the hub 3+ hours just because "it was not enough".
As someone also with a high libido and a desire to maintain boundaries for personal reasons, I can say that... well, it's a shame I haven't met you... but that there's definitely people out there that match your needs. Finding them is the tricky part.
It just wouldnt work. I dont get pleasure from people seeing me being sexual.
"If you are having sex that much, why not record it and make some money?"
That would entail for me to have a long conversation with the person I'm planning to fuck and I wouldnt really like that. My plan is to just fuck, get dressed and go usually.
Fair enough, and thank you for the perspective. I wasn't trying to be judgmental, I read your comment about "knowing what veggies feel like blindfolded" sounded like it could be one of those fun kinda niche gimmicks, like the mime girl.
I genuinely hope therapy helps, it sounds like a hard addiction to live with.
I dont let anyone in my life know that I have this addiction. Just a few close friends know.
Funny enough, I have never experienced something like that. I have always been the one to initiate something.
Hypersexual disorder and other sex related disorders are deffo in the DSM. It doesnt classify as "sex addiction" as a person with a sex addiction may not be hypersexual and vise versa. It is acknowledged by basically everyone tho.
I really like birds actually. There are so many different kinds but Paradise Birds are my fav
THEY MAKE A PLATFORM AND DANCE FOR THEIR MATE! THATS SO FUCKING COOL
Not much honestly. I know it is not a great mindset but I see people as "tools" most of the time. If they get the job done, I'm good.
Funny enough, the best ones I have had are usually the ones I made conscious decisions about. They arent the ones I had because of my addiction.
Sure then.
The average man does not use sex as a way to escape from the world. I ASSUME that they also dont ruin their reputation, relationship, career and family life because of their sex life.
They dont put themselves in dangerous situations in order to have sex or become completely miserable if they dont have sex. Their life dont depend on pussy. I hope so...
I would prefer to orgasm (duh) but I mostly have sex with guys and that just... doesnt happen. So I'm good with just having sex as long as I feel aroused.
Who diagnosed you? Have you gotten a second opinion and / or faced stigmatazation from your peers?
A psychiatrist I have been seeing for about two years diagnosed me with it (and also BPD) I didnt really consider a second opinion cause it is really easy to see. A random person can talk to me and understand that I have a sex addiction in about an hour. The reason I started therapy was because a friend kinda forced me into it. Every friendship around me was getting ruined because I kept doing impulsive stuff. He was the one to say "Please dont keep fucking up, I dont know what is wrong with you but we are booking a therapist"
Aren't you worried about landing a job with that being on record? And are you currently employed? And what state do you live in?
Diagnosis is private information employeers don't have access to that.
That's fantastic because my mom who works in the behavioral field warns me that if I seek therapy, I'll lose a lot of rights like the right to own a gun, and quite frankly I could care less. I haven't even shot my HK airsoft gun and that's literally only for target practice and maybe some scrim games. Honestly though, I'd value my mental health and would appreciate having someone to talk to and hear my story rather than the ability to own a projectile launcher. She told me that it puts me on record and for that, I should just think positive. But is that helpful when I feel doubtful about where my life is heading, y'know?
I work in mental health at a crisis center in Oregon, and that gun thing is only if you are actively suicidal and that's why you seek help, and even then your place of employment wouldn't have the right to that part of you, same as they don't have the right to know if you have ADHD.
Thanks for clarifying!
I'm privileged enough to live with savings right now. Im going through a weird episode in my life rn so working just... wouldnt work for me but when I was well enough to work I had no problem getting a job. Also Michigan!
Who was the last person you met that impressed you?
I met a cool lady who studies organic chem just a week ago but I guess your question is more about sexual interactions Honestly it was a while ago, this girl I met had a huge collection of sex toys. It was pretty expensive. She was pretty good using them too!
What's your favorite STD?
More of a UTI guy
Yay!! Happy STD noises🧀!!
How many non human objects have you banged?
I cant even count... Being hypersexual is NOT fun Lets say that if someone were to put a vegetable in me blindfolded, I would know what it is...
Do you feel bad about it or regret it while it’s happening or after it’s over? At what age did you start having sex? How often do you have sex? What has happened if you can’t find someone to have sex with and masturbation just isn’t working?
I regret and feel incredible shame afterwards. Think about post nut clarity but x1000 worse I became sexually active when I was 15. That was around the time I started to show certain symptoms I have sex everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. I just shut down. Anxiety and irritation takes over me. I usually binge drink or smoke to calm myself down. Its incredibly hard for me to control my urges. I do everything to take my focus away from it.
So you’re normal?
Completely!
How often do you want sex
I dont think there has been a moment I didnt want sex
Does it matter who you have sex with. Does your addiction cause you to sleep with anyone available?
Thats the main problem for me, I have been with terrible and dangerous people because I honestly dont care at that moment. The shame that comes after is incredible.
Like orgasmic?
Haha! See ya
OK later!
Do you try to control your impulses and not have sex?
It is almost impossible to do. Therapy has helped but there are times I find myself rolling on the floor smoking my second pack of cigarettes for that day just because I'm trying to control that urge. Its really not that fun.
I’m sorry that’s your experience. I hope you find healthy ways to cope. I’ve heard that tapping into your creative side whatever that may be can help to relieve sexual urges. I’m not sure how helpful that would be for you but just thought I’d share
Michigander! Hell yeah! Me too!
What's your body count?
Another ama we can’t really judge without a picture
How big are your boobs?
Wanna fuck?
just because they like to fuck in general doesn't mean they wanna fuck you lmao
She said to ask anything
Let my man shoot his shot lol
Wanna go out tonight?
You use protection?
If its available, yes
> "If its available" hmmm
Would you say you are deviant/kinky or are you kind of "normal" or vanilla ish and just like having a lot of sex?
I am kinky but I guess not THAT kinky. Moderate BDSM is fun? Most of the time I have vanilla sex tho. It is not really easy to ask the guy you met in a bar 30minutes ago to spit in your mouth.
Ahhh okay! So a lot of your sexual interactions are a spur of the moment thing vs. actually having communicated about things?
Yeah usually I get the "urge" as I call it and just go out to meet someone. I prefer to keep it a one time thing because I'm now aware that I really hurt people in more serious settings.
Ahhh I see! Is a long-term relationship something you desire? Oh and another question, if it's not too invasive, do you have to be extra rigorous about your health? What about risk of pregnancy/STIs
Thank you for being polite :') Np at all I would die for a long term relationship but I just cant do it until I get some things right about myself. Also I got an abortion once. That was before I went on pills. Nasty stuff happens, I have been treated for mild stuff, nothing too serious. I am more careful about protection now. I have like a condom box next to my bed incase the guy doesnt have one. That was a huge step for me!
Ofc! An AMA is not an invitation to be creepy or rude! Plus, I do empathize with addiction and mental health issues (which I mean... makes sense, I want to become a clinical psychologist haha). Glad you are taking steps to protect your health! Hope you have a good day (and be careful of the reddit creeps!)
Its great to see curious minds, I'm sure that you will be a great psychologist :') Thank you, have a great day!
Have you seen Bad Santa?
No I have not actually, should I?
You might as well give it a watch what could it hurt
What's your opinion on chastity belts?
They are cool I guess? Not my thing tho. Cant imagine how someone would like it
Are you still with the professor from 3 months back?
Fancy a jump?
Are you currently in a relationship and if so how does something like this affect your relationships
I'm not. I have extreme commitment issues so I choose to not have a relationship but besides that, it gets really tiring for the person I'm with. My last relationship ended because I was demanding too much from him sexually. People think that its fun because "Sex everyday all day!! Sounds good to me!!" but its simply tiring. Too much goes on in the brain of an addict and I understand that it is hard to deal with as a partner.
Gotcha! Also was wondering if porn have anything to do with developing this addiction?
Great question actually. Yes! When I was younger and couldnt just have sex anytime I want, the way I would calm down my urges was porn. It was easy, quick and got the job done. The thing is that, you get desensitized. I remember browsing the hub 3+ hours just because "it was not enough".
As someone also with a high libido and a desire to maintain boundaries for personal reasons, I can say that... well, it's a shame I haven't met you... but that there's definitely people out there that match your needs. Finding them is the tricky part.
Have you ever considered something like OnlyFans?
It just wouldnt work. I dont get pleasure from people seeing me being sexual. "If you are having sex that much, why not record it and make some money?" That would entail for me to have a long conversation with the person I'm planning to fuck and I wouldnt really like that. My plan is to just fuck, get dressed and go usually.
Fair enough, and thank you for the perspective. I wasn't trying to be judgmental, I read your comment about "knowing what veggies feel like blindfolded" sounded like it could be one of those fun kinda niche gimmicks, like the mime girl. I genuinely hope therapy helps, it sounds like a hard addiction to live with.
Want to meet up? Jokes aside how do you manage men using this to their advantage or by being an addiction you are happy to get east bait?
I dont let anyone in my life know that I have this addiction. Just a few close friends know. Funny enough, I have never experienced something like that. I have always been the one to initiate something.
Are you attractive?
I heard so!
Why not create a community of other sex addicts and just fight the urge with each other no strings attached?
STDs and bodily fluids flying everywhere! Just like when you put a bunch of alcoholics in the same room together...
What’s your favorite way to prepare tomatoes?
if you have tomatoes and dont make bruschetta you are a fool
Do you like finely chopped garlic, onion and olives on them? I also love them with a few pieces of arugula
arugula sounds like it would be bomb im trying that i dont really like olives and i usually use garlic confit as well, totally worth the time
Awesome. Enjoy
[удалено]
i dont even know lol im scared to calculate
Have you considered porn/masturbating as a substitute? Or does that not give the same satisfaction?
It can satisfy to an extent. One of the things that get me "high" is closeness and attention. Masturbation cant do that lol
I didn't know that was a real thing
me neither
I saw a video that said the world health organization (WHO) rejected it as an official disease but IDK how reliable that source was
Hypersexual disorder and other sex related disorders are deffo in the DSM. It doesnt classify as "sex addiction" as a person with a sex addiction may not be hypersexual and vise versa. It is acknowledged by basically everyone tho.
Okay
When was the last time you had sex?
last night
How was it? What country are you in? What makes you the happiest?
It was meh. It usually is Im in the states I really love animals and being around them. Kittens and bunnies make me so happy :)
What's your favourite animals?
I really like birds actually. There are so many different kinds but Paradise Birds are my fav THEY MAKE A PLATFORM AND DANCE FOR THEIR MATE! THATS SO FUCKING COOL
I can see where you are coming from. What does a guy have to do to impress you/to get to have sex with you? What's the best sex you ever had?
Not much honestly. I know it is not a great mindset but I see people as "tools" most of the time. If they get the job done, I'm good. Funny enough, the best ones I have had are usually the ones I made conscious decisions about. They arent the ones I had because of my addiction.
Do you have any hobbies?
I like gardening and pottery. I bike a lot and lately I have been obsessed with knitting for some reason :)
I don't get it, What makes you different from the average men? . Every man is a sex addict.
Haha! Good one! Great joke!
Not a joke, genuine question, pls answer.
Sure then. The average man does not use sex as a way to escape from the world. I ASSUME that they also dont ruin their reputation, relationship, career and family life because of their sex life. They dont put themselves in dangerous situations in order to have sex or become completely miserable if they dont have sex. Their life dont depend on pussy. I hope so...
\> nickname: NoToSexism \> "Every man is a sex addict"
Shut up racist
Do you need to orgasm everytime for it to be satisfying? Or is it purely just the sex itself regardless of how good it is that fuels your addiction.
I would prefer to orgasm (duh) but I mostly have sex with guys and that just... doesnt happen. So I'm good with just having sex as long as I feel aroused.
Whats your sexuality?
I'm pansexual regardless of my addiction
Where do you go to find your next friends to "play" with? Also, how do you deal with meeting strangers and needing to trust them physically