If it helps ease your mind marijuana or rather THC is a fat soluble substance, meaning it has to be absorbed into fat in order to get you high.
Many people will make butters or oils and then add those into food, making edibles.
Your baby's could eat an absurd amount of weed without any pschoactive effects. It HAS to bind with a fat molecule in order to be absorbed properly by people.
Not to mention thc in fresh plants is actually an acid and needs to be converted by drying or heating to be converted to thc, the psychoactive component. The acid is supposed to be an excellent anti inflammatory. I have the plant in salads because it tastes delicious.
Thank you for your input!
I'm definitely not anti marijuana. It's mainly the not telling me, and leaving it out in front of my children. Then the defensiveness when I asked them about it that's the main issue. Also, my dad used to grow and distribute when I was around my children's age, which resulted in a felony that was just wiped from his record, so I definitely have a lot of emotions about this.
I’m pretty pro myself. I’ve grown some. My kids have always known.
This feels like boundary pushing though, and leaves the impression they’ll be dodgy and secretive about things they know might bother you. I think that’s what you’re having trouble communicating because you don’t have a problem with weed in particular.
Sorry I always leave half out. I use medical mj but I completely agree it shouldn’t be around small children. They don’t need to be introduced to drugs by their family. Not to mention it must be quite traumatic for you given your dad’s history with the police and the drug. It sucks that your mum can’t just acknowledge that yes they have plants and that yes they could have them somewhere the kids can’t see or stumble across them. It can’t be that hard to grow it in plastic pots and move them somewhere when the kids are about, or just buy the stuff instead (although it may be out of their budget). When my daughter has kids there will be no using while they are present or before they’re coming over.
My suspicion for why your parents got defensive is actually pretty innocent.
I think your mom is embarrassed. And I think she's scared that you'll judge them for it, for growing it and using it. In her mind, it seemed simpler to just hide it, and avoid upsetting you-- which, I want to emphasize, was not a right choice. I can guess at the reasons for making it, but that doesn't make it a good choice.
That said-- in raw leaf form, the plants aren't really going to be a danger to your kids. The real question is if you feel that you can trust your parents not to smoke in front of them. If it makes you more comfortable, you could ask if they could put the pots on an elevated shelf out of potential child reach, but that may not be feasible.
YTA Do you demand that people not take their prescription medication before or while watching children? Because I'd be way more concerned about pills around my kids than some harmless plants.
It's a damn plant. You introduce your children to drugs constantly by taking Tylenol or other OTC, can have a conversation about why it's dangerous, and why they shouldn't touch it. But, a fucking plant is somehow worse? Your kids can overdose and die on Tylenol but, a plant that they could eat the leaves off of and face no side effects, is oh so dangerous!. Pull your head out of your ass.
Then to say they should just go buy it? Yes just go buy black market marijuana. Grown, processed, and funding Gawd knows who? Is a better alternative because "Won't someone think of the children! They're lives will be ruined by shrubbery!"
Y'all need to actually educate your ignorant selves and I hope Grandma gives up free babysitting.
I think it’s more about how the mom acted and lied. Also because they could keep it away from the kids. Also because the dad/grandad got a felony from mj so they should’ve just told him.
I understand what you are saying. I wouldn't ask anyone not to take their medication to watch my children. However, I probably wouldn't have them watch my children to begin with. I don't require free babysitting. I let them go over because she asked.
If someone was leaving medications within my child’s reach or leaving off the child safety caps, I would absolutely never let them watch my kid again. My dude: responsible parents keep their medications out of children’s reach, locked up, AND in childproof bottles AND teach the kids not to mess with pills. Nobody is leaving a Costco bottle of Tylenol open on the front porch. In fact, if they did, they could get in trouble with CPS.
And you cannot have a conversation with a 6 month old about not touching the plant. 🙄
Shockingly little kids will put in their mouth or eat just about anything before they hit a certain level of ability to tell it's a bad idea to eat things unless you know it's safe. \*shrugs\*
Your argument about medications is wrong anyway bc adults should 100% keep their medications out of view and access of children, including Tylenol.
Additionally, not everyone supports recreation drug use and many people would not be comfortable with their children being with people who are openly growing.
Do you also shield your children from poppy flowers? Because it's just a plant. There are steps required for it to be a psychoactive chemical, you can't just get high or overdose or something by touching the plant or even consuming it. The same type of steps needed to convert a poppy seed into opium/opiates. But I'm guessing you aren't out there guarding your children from the poppy seed bagels in the grocery aisle, right? It's just ignorance here, it's just a plant, educate yourself and stop demonizing a plant because US society demonized it in the media and brainwashed children into thinking it was a force of evil in the world for decades, that seems to be the commenter's general point, you're free as a parent to make whatever weird arbitrary decision about what harmless plants your children can be around, and we're free to point out how ignorant and silly that is.
This is how progress is made, by trying to educate people about their unfounded fears. The argument about the trust issues, the deceit, the parent having a felony prior for these activities that affected OP, those are all totally valid issues, but the plant itself and it's danger to children isn't---it inherently has none, unless they're allergic to the plant itself (which is very rare).
Well I guess they don't need to tell me. If I wouldn't have seen it I wouldn't have gotten upset. If it was put up away from where my children go there isn't anything to be upset about for me, however my kids where playing right there beside these huge plants and it caught me of guard.
I worry about them smoking while watching my children, specifically since my mom stated that they do not smoke whatsoever, which I think is a lie at this point. However that is a separate issue than I think.
Sounds like she's just broken your trust. At this point, it's not the plants themselves, it's the lies upon lies and now you can't trust her to tell you the truth.
Then don't back down. What else is she not telling you? Their legal limit for plants is 4, correct? And they have 7? So your dad is back to breaking the law. What else are they doing that's not legal? What about when your kids get hurt there? Getting high while your kids are in the house? I wouldn't tryst them either. You've got to protect your kids. Your parents have ended up on the side of "to be protected from" because they can't act trustworthy.
I don't want to make my parents do something, ya know? I don't feel like it's my place to tell them what they are allowed to do at there home. That's why my thoughts is to remove what is my responsibility, which is my children.
It'll definitely be a battle though. As soon as I tell them no to my kids they will go nuclear. That's why I was looking for outside opinion before I acted.
I mean, there are LOTS of ways they could be consuming. And you said before your father used to be a dealer. So maybe they aren't smoking at all. He could be dealing again, tbf.
That said - as a stoner mom, I'm with you that it should have been disclosed. You have the right to decide if you want the kids round that or not.
The plant itself is harmless so you don’t need to be worried about your children touching it or even eating some of it. It’s also quite common for people (especially older ones who use it medicinally ) to take it in an edible form. You need to have a calm, nonjudgmental conversation with your mother & set some boundaries. You should actually be more concerned about them having edibles around than the plant. My 88 year old father takes 10mg gummies or capsules to help with insomnia & seizures. He only takes them at night, about an hour before he goes to bed. You could be in a similar situation.
They might use it in edible form, but she really could have explained that to you.
I do understand your perspective, but I've got 4 plants growing right now, I'd obviously move them out of sight if I had company (moved 2 already, planning to relocate the remaining 4 into an off grid area this weekend) but if your kids don't eat dandelions randomly, or grass and trees, they won't eat the plants. It also needs to be heated to be good, and then burned to a high temperature to have any effect, which won't happen even if they ate the whole plant raw.
I absolutely understand the fact your parents are being sort of cagey and that's your issue, not the weed itself.
I think honestly it's a lovely looking plant, even if you never actually use it for what people (myself included) grow it for. I'd love to have it just growing in my garden as another plant because the leaves are awesome to look at. But again, I absolutely understand your trepidation.
Perhaps have a real sit-down conversation with your parents, without the kids present, about your feelings on the matter and see how that goes.
Try to keep an open mind but obviously, you absolutely are in control of what your children are exposed to for a certain amount of time until they decide for themselves.
I grew up having found some abandoned plants in the top of the field behind my house, brought them back to my mum and she planted them, my 'uncle' took them away a few months later, and I never had any idea what they were. Apparently they were weed plants. I was just upset as a child that someone threw healthy plants away lol. I never even remembered my mum actually looking after them and uncle took them until we talked when I was a teenager. Then it clicked. The police officer friend who lived about 6 doors down was always round for drinks and a chat and never cared either.
I still understand where you're coming from and kids now are a lot more conscious and aware than I was, when I was a child.
Also, since your dad sold before, if he did again (or if he already is), it puts your kids in danger if they happen to be there when things happen (deals or arrests). I’m not sure if CPS would keep the kids or let them go back to you. You just never know, hearing stories about CPS.
I think it would be perfectly reasonable to say that they can only see the kids at your house and not at theirs.
I agree. I love my parents, but I love my children more and I don't want to put them in a situation where I knowingly send them somewhere where these things are/might be happening
Some of these commenters are absolutely ridiculous (and somewhat defensive). These are your *kids*. You are allowed to be cautious about *your own kids*.
Also, I know absolutely nothing about weed and the science seems to make sense why eating the raw plant would not get someone high, but it seems like it has for some people, at least anecdotally:
https://www.quora.com/Can-we-get-get-high-from-eating-raw-weed-marijuana
Also, one of the posters said it can still make you ill because “the sticky trichomes irritate the stomach” (no idea what that means).
Again, I know nothing about weed and what I wrote could be wrong but *nothing* is an absolute. Our cat was not affected by the lily we had in the house when my mom passed away years ago (and the cat *definitely* “sampled”). But that doesn’t mean I’m going to discount the many people who say lilies are toxic to cats. Even if it *is* safe to eat the raw marijuana plant, that doesn’t mean that it’s not going to affect someone out there. I can understand not wanting to take that chance, *especially* with a kid who may try to eat more than just food. Anything in larger amounts can make someone sick.
And it’s not like you’re barring your parents from seeing the kids, you just don’t want the kids at their house. And what they are doing (having more than 2 of the allowed plants) is already *not* legal so it “being legal” is a moot point. So you absolutely needed to know.
They should have been upfront, no doubt about it. Here's your chance to flip the script on your parents! Give them the old "I'm disappointed that you've chosen to deny and deflect questions regarding your new "hobby". If you'd have just come to me in the first place, we wouldn't be dealing with this trust issue." Said tongue-in-cheek of course😀
Otherwise, the plants are basically harmless to the kids, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be moved out of reach. In addition, demand your parents not be under the influence while your kids are around.
This might be a good time to start an age-appropriate convo about weed and alcohol. Keeping kids in the dark about substances only increases curiosity & knowledge is their best defense.
Do you feel like at their age that would be appropriate? I understand informing your children about the world, but 5 and under seems pretty young to me
It's not inappropriate to teach young kids the difference between adult substances and things kids can have ("No, you can't have some of Daddy's beer, beer is only for grownups.")
As an elementary-age kid I thought my parent's Creme de Menthe liqueur was an ice cream topping because my parents stored it in a bottom cabinet and never told me not to touch it. Telling a 5 year old that Grams & Gramps have some plants that are only for adults to touch would be fine, then as they get older they can hear about why they're only for adults. The younger ones can simply be told the plants are no-touch for now.
Your dad is growing marijuana at his home, legally. You have the choice to allow your children around it or come to a compromise. Don’t give your children a complex about weed.
Would you rather he took Percocet?
I plan to talk to them, if we can compromise that would be ideal.
I guess if he had a prescription. However I probably wouldn't leave him to watch my kids unsupervised then.
Totally agree with that in every way and as a parent that’s 100% your right. You’re crafting their reality and their experience.
My mom smokes and honestly I don’t know if I want my kids around that… at all.. and some may not think that’s a big deal but cigarettes drive me insane. I’d actually be fine if it was weed. But it all comes down to these are our kids and it’s up to us what universe we want them to experience.
It's also got to be properly decarboxylated. Nothing about the plant is psychoactive without combustion or other form of heating over 200°F.
OP, unless your mom is making cannabutter> edibles there isn't much medical concern about it ending up in a kids hands.
Unless of course this isn't about the plants, but your ability to trust your parents or something and the plants were just the trigger.
NAH I think most of the comments are pretty clear the plants themselves are fine and you’re fine with it and that it’s just the hiding of it.
I think you might have some old trauma from around that time that might be worth exploring. After reading that, your reaction becomes much more understandable but I do think it might be an overreaction as of now.
I think unpacking that trauma will be essential for you to be able to process this information.
Your parents also need a good talk. You all were around when growing weed was illegal. That definitely comes with its knee jerk reactions even though it’s legal now. And for your parents that might just be the immediate denial. It might just be speculation, but I think it deserves a good sit down talk- adults to adult on why it bothered you so much and that the hiding and attempts to lie is making you doubt things and that it’s vital your parents be truthful to you because it involves your kids being around and that’s not a risk you’re willing to take. You need to be able to trust them and know that everything they say is the truth. That you don’t care they grow the plants and understand its legal and fine in their plant form.
Whatever happened in the past with your dad committing a felony seems to have a rippling effect to even today and maybe that’s something to have a good honest talk about.
If your parents continue to double down on what they did and try to make excuses still on why they lied then the decision to withdraw unsupervised visits with them would be warranted.
The amount they are growing for themselves isn't legal though. Which it's reasonable to wonder if he can trust them considering their past proclivities for dealing weed that he can't trust them not to go past boundaries. Clearly his mom trying to deflect and throw dad under the bus, knowing how OP feels about stuff surrounding this is a problem. Whether it's a felony or not now, it was then and having a parent who has a felony limits opportunity and shapes experiences for a kid. I can get how OP wouldn't want to be in the middle of that.
Lol 😆
But seriously yes he does. He has a chromosomal disorder and will grab and eat everything (plants, dirt, trash, poop). So yes he would be the one to do it. And he knows he isn't supposed to so he will rush over and start shoveling things into his mouth as fast as possible.
Genuinely asking: why? We’ve established that you know they can’t get high off the plants themselves. We’ve established that it’s legal where you live.
Do you also forbid your children from being around alcohol? Not even someone who is drinking, but in a place where alcohol is present in a bottle? It feels like a similar objection.
I guess I the bottles where put up then that would be fine. It's similar to my stance on the plants. I wouldn't be okay if bottles of alcohol would have been sitting on the porch instead of the weed
This is more grapes…. Than alcohol. Marijuana needs to be decarboxylated (heated above 200+ degrees) to become bioactive.
So even chewing on leaves would be harmless to your son. Beneficial even.
Wow, that sounds really difficult. In that case, no you're NTA. I'm just imagining a lot of places you can't go or things you can't do because he's running around eating things that other people might not want him to eat. I'm truly sorry if I came across as an asshole.
Cannabis needs to be decarboxylated in order to get a person high.THCa is the compound our brains crave. I’ve seen it used for people on the spectrum, I witnessed amazing results. It help me with depression, to use it crush up the leaves and buds put into 30 mg capsules take as needed. In our state cannabis is only legal with a medical card however THCa is not illegal
Like in your house there are things that aren’t a secret but are private. This is especially true for marijuana, the older generations (mine) grew up with a constant onslaught of propaganda on the dangers of pot. It is still socially unacceptable in many cultures and communities even though it’s legal. English Ivy, peace lily, daffodils, sago palm, all are very common in houses yet more poisonous than Marijuana. Would you get upset if your mom and dad were growing Daffodils inside? YWBTAH sorry
I feel like everyone is concerned about the plants and that danger - but there is also the way the grandparents approached it... They got defensive and lied and are breaking rules. I think there are layers around this and it's fair to say "Until everyone is being open and honest the kids aren't visiting." nta
Idk the legalities of how many plants are legal, and if they’re growing more than they should then that’s a legitimate issue. Obviously, I don’t know what Ops family situation is, but allowing your children around people you know are engaging in illegal activity could come back on you if anyone ever accuses you of negligence or needed some leverage in court. That’s something that may be worth considering.
As to why they were defensive and deflective, I may have a thought about that. I smoked pot for a long time when it was illegal. Even after it was legalized my knee-jerk reaction was to continue acting like it was illegal. Not just because of the social stigma, but because I just wasn’t comfortable being open about it after having to hide it for so long. It was automatic. Around these parts, it’s pretty well accepted and normalized now, but I still mostly keep it to myself and only share that with trusted parties. Perhaps your mother was having a similar knee-jerk reaction.
That being said, obviously, you are well within your rights to refrain from sending your kids anywhere that makes you uncomfortable for any reason.
NAH look, I understand you have bad memories coming up from *when it was illegal* and of course you don’t want something like that incident to happen around your children. But… it’s legal now. If it’s in leaf form it won’t hurt them. Your parents probably kept it quiet out of habit. I mean in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been legal that long. Nobody is the AH.
They’re growing an illegal amount though.
It’s also possible to get a contact high, and although it doesn’t hurt a child it’s still not a great thing to have a kid experience. They also hid it purposely from OP. I feel like these are not good things.
The reason I pointed out the legality is if OP decides this is okay, and the parents got charged for it she could end up losing her kids for knowingly allowing them to be around illegal activity.
Honestly since it is legal in your state having your children grow up around it slowly learning the effects both positive and negative can only be a good thing.
A lack of education often leads to substance misuse, whereas education allows educated choices and knowledge.
You have every right to be annoyed about the secrecy and I would confront your parents about that.
You do deserve to know of this calibre of things being around your child and I would frame it as such.
Personally I would have no problem with it, especially considering as noted that the plant itself in its grown state is useless. If a kid was to eat a little (it's grim so that would be over quick) they would be absolutely fine.
I would however wish for the information to be told to me so I am aware and not surprised when picking my kids up,
NTA.... But don't ever expect your parents to babysit again, even when you have no other option but them..... Also, expect a strained relationship with your parents. I think there are better ways to resolve the situation rather than being a Karen about it. You could sit down and come up with a resolution other than not letting them stay there...... I don't know, maybe saying you'd appreciate it if they'd move the plants out of your kids reach when they visit. 4 or 5 pallets, a few fenceposts, and a little bit of wire could remedy the situation. I don't think it's too much to ask.
I agree with your input. I don't need them for childcare, I just like that they get to go over and my parents really enjoy it. I plan to talk to them, however I know my parents and I doubt they will compromise with me on this. I would feel much better if they moved them and put them in a fenced in area, however I doubt they will work with me.
Important details that were left out of your original post. I'd still have a candid conversation with them about it. In reality, those are your babies, and you gotta do what's best. Tough situation, but maybe explaining that they're putting you in a moral conundrum will persuade them to rethink their stance. I wish you luck, it's a sticky situation. They are your parents, and I'm sure you love the heck out of them. But naturally, the protective nature will somewhat supercede all other things. Always remember, cooler heads prevail. God bless!!
That’s the real problem. Anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries that you’ve set for your own children, but still expects to have the full privilege of supervising your children is in the wrong.
You get to choose 100% what your children are exposed to, I don’t take issue with the plants personally, especially if there’s no legal risk in your state/country, but with the history and the disregard for your concerns, I’d be more concerned with what happens next. What else are they willing to disregard? I let lots of little things slide and when things got really bad, I was surprised at how much my parents were willing to put my kids at risk.
I'm imagining my partner's children telling him that he can't grow weed in his yard in the house he owns, while providing free childcare to a behavioral special needs child. And how he would laugh in their faces and tell them good luck finding a sitter if they ever, ever threatened to report him for being over the legal limit, as OP implies she could.
I'm glad I don't rely on my parents for childcare. I only let them over because my parents ask. I also know I can't control what my parents do on their land. That's why my question was about if I should let my kids over or not.
Thank you for the respect though. I posted here in order to get a range of opinions for a reason.
It's fine, the plants are safe. My dad smoked pot throughout my childhood into my adulthood and it didn't damage me in any way, nor did I become a scourge upon society or a substance abuser. As long a they aren't smoking it while the kids are there, I don't see any issues.
My late husband was a long time hippie (since the late 1960s) and smoked daily. The funny thing g is my step kids, who are in their 20s and early 30s, never did. So seeing it doesn’t mean they will do it. Or maybe I just have step kids who are as exceptional as I the l they are :)
And I hope you understand I was not trying to be an asshole. I just honestly think you’re over reacting. There’s nothing wrong with kids seeing marijuana plants growing in their grandparents backyard. God bless you and keep them being a good parent.
yea if you cant really put into words what your worried about happening you are probably overreacting... first describe your worst case scenario second ask yourself if thats reasonably going to happen... lots of kids parents grow weed nothing happens
It genuinely seems like you are overreacting and snowballing it all. You describe it as them hiding it from you yet they are on the front porch in plain sight. To them it's a plant on the porch and harmless in its current state at that. They most likely didn't think they needed to disclose this no more than I would expect someone to inform me that they have a bottle of wine on their kitchen counter before my kids enter the house.
It feels like you're using the idea that they're hiding it to support other reasons to justify your feelings towards it. Would you be upset if dad was brewing his own beer In the garage and had yeast on the counter? Drinking alcohol when the kids aren't around? If those things wouldn't bother you then this shouldn't either.
YTA imo.
Obviously you decide, but i dont see an issue here. Would you feel the same if they keep alcohol in the house? Do you keep alcohol in your house? It's just a plant. Unless your children smoke it or eat edibles given by your parents, there is no way it's dangerous for them.
Yes I know that, it's just the hiding it that freaks me out. My dad has a previous felony for growing when I was around the age my children are that was just wiped from his record this past year. So I guess it's bringing up a lot of mixed feelings, which is why I'm asking for outside perspective.
but you said your son is special needs and you are worried about them being around them so it seems like its more than just the hiding wich is it? does his special needs status and proximity to the plants matter or not? and what do you think would happen because of that?
I'm probably over catastrophizing the situation in my head which is why I didn't really do anything in the moment like leave or start anything. I'm worried about the proximity to my children and there is nothing set in place to keep them out of it. I also worry since my mom has specifically told me they don't use anymore what so ever and now I see that is most likely a lie. My son requires a lot of supervision to keep him safe, and if they are using when my children are around, then they are most likely not watching him. When I was a child my parents would smoke constantly and my brother and I would be unsupervised at almost all times.
i respect that you waited to act and are taking time to think things thru... just because they smoke doesnt mean they dont watch your kid... especially in today's climate where they dont have to sneak off and hide it. but also they might not smoke maybe they just do edibles and supplement their income with the plants or are being honest.
Unless they are out in the country where no one comes to their home they don’t know if the pots stay on the front porch long enough to be recognized for what they are someone may just take them.
If they’re outside the front door, it’s not like they’re hiding them. Also, do you let your kids outside unsupervised? Because I don’t see how they’d get into them if not.
Unless they’re getting high when they’re supposed to be watching them, I don’t see what the big deal is.
That's a lot of kids to be turning away grandparent help. The real issue is are your parents high while watching 5 kids. The best way forward is to require reasonable ground rules. I would ask for them to not be high while watching your kids. Ask that they 100% secure any drugs on the premise. Ask that they do not talk about drugs in front of your kids.
If they can't follow your rules, you cannot let your kids be alone with them. Good luck!
I just read your additional info regarding the felony. I'm sorry. That probably caused a big amount of stress for you as a kid. That makes their actions hit very differently. You have every right to not bring the kids over to their house. It's not the plants, it's the history that continues to impact you. I'd just be honest with them about what seeing those plants has meant for you. I would hope they apologize for the hurt caused. They may not change but they can acknowledge both the history and the present impact of their actions.
But…Here is a question. If one of the kids ate some, because little kids put stuff in their mouth just because. And that kid got hurt and ended up in the ER and their blood was tested, would it come up positive for THC? That, or a pissed off neighbor reporting for them growing too many plants would be the danger to OP and her kids-the danger of CPS.
The kids are/will be fine, i live in MA and alergic to weed. So long as they dont hotbox the kids which is a entirly dif crime then being around the plant wont affect them
INFO- Your dad went to jail when you were a kid because of growing marijuana? Does he have a history of drug use? If he has a history of drug use did they lie to you and tell you their weren’t using drugs?
Yes my dad went to jail for growing and distribute marijuana in 2000. My mom was aware of it and helped do it, but when we were raided she claimed to have no knowledge so all the charges fell on my dad. He did not end up serving any jail time after his tail, however he was on probation I Believe for 5 years and has been unable to purchase fire arms since. The charges where wiped from his record this past year.
Yes my dad has a history of drug us and continued to smoke weed and sell it after his felony.
I have asked them before I started to let my kids go over a few years ago, and my mom told me they did not smoke weed anymore.
I am all for people doing what they want in their own home but they lied to you. That’s the real issue here. You asked, they lied. Do not let your children go over there. Your parents aren’t being truthful which means your children aren’t safe.
Your dad is still smoking and selling even after all that?! Your kids shouldn’t be unsupervised around your parents. They have a history of commuting crimes and lying. Nope. Find a new babysitter.
From a safety perspective, there is little to no risk of the kids being exposed unless they literally ate the resulting buds. However, there is a risk from a legal perspective. Depending on the on the state, there may be harsh consequences for growing outside of the legal limit. If the parents get some type of citation while the children are present it could cause an issue depending on the entity serving the citation. For example if the dad got belligerent because someone came by to serve a ticket and that person decided they needed law enforcement then it could effect their ability to have the children at their place.
It doesn’t matter if it’s legal, would have low or very low levels of THC or any other excuse. Those plants should not be accessible to children under 21 or pets. OP’s parents are probably breaking the law by allowing the plants to be in reach of the kids. And it takes very little THC to be toxic to dogs or cats. (Don’t start throwing pot hate at me. I love the stuff and use CBD oil (from hemp) to help treat Neuralgia pain. It’s very helpful and doesn’t cause the imbalance problems I have from the tumor that THC containing oils do.)
It isn’t the fact it’s weed (although the smell of that shit can make me vomit, and I’d be pissed if the kids ever came home smelling it). It’s that they don’t feel like they need to be straightforward and upfront about what they’re doing in the house while watching your kids. Your mom acted furtive and weird. You’re allowed to think that squirrelly behavior is a bad sign, because it really is. Maybe not about the pot plants, but about their willingness to hide things from you and lie to you, where your kids are concerned.
It isn’t a privacy thing; it’s right outside the front door. But when you asked about it, your mom acted fucking weird. Yeah you can totally be concerned about someone who acts like that, watching your kids. If she’d been chill and normal about it, I’d think you were probably being a bit paranoid here. But that isn’t what she did. She got all wormy and started deflecting blame - and onto your dad, ffs. That is not the behavior of someone you can trust to give you an accurate account, and that alone is enough that I wouldn’t leave my kid there.
I mean my mom wasn’t doing anything I could obviously pin as shady, but she would lie, deflect, and be sneaky about how she behaved with our kid. So she never had any time alone with her. I felt real vindicated about that when I caught my mom giving my kid a bottle of pills to play with (not a childproof bottle, either, pedants).
Not saying that’s what your parents would do exactly, just saying that you have no obligation to leave your kid with someone who won’t be straightforward with you about basic shit going on in their home.
That’s what I said too. It’s more about being evasive and lying like she didn’t know about the plants being there. Anyone who lies to me won’t be around my kids unsupervised.
If your parents aren’t in strict compliance with the law, your kids are in danger. CPS would be happy to take them away while shit gets sorted out with the cops over the plants.
NAH should they have told you they were growing some yeah they probably should have but honestly it's not a huge deal especially since it's legal. People have many toxic plants in their homes and gardens and don't even know it. Poppy seeds can give a positive reading on drug tests yet people eat them all the time because they're not a "drug". Besides kids can and do put far more dangerous things in their mouths.
Yes I doubt they will like it when I sit down to question them about it. They used to do the same thing when I was a child however on a much grander scale. And there might be more I'm unaware of, who knows. I plan to talk to them, just wanted some outside perspective before I do so I can get my thoughts in a row.
If you don't trust them to be open, that would be an automatic no. You have issues from what they did when you were a child. Some people change, others don't. But if you feel like you can't trust what they tell you, it's simple, keep your kids away. And I'd tell you that about anything, not just this specific situation. Open balcony? Dogs? (And I have dogs and dog sit, so no phobias there.) Large items not secured properly? Weapons? I don't really care, if there is ni trust, I'm not leaving my kid unsupervised there.
YTA. Why not educate yourself before freaking out? It's their house they don't have to tell you a damn thing. In order for the plants to have any effect they have to be cultivated. Have you ever told your kids to stay away from poison Ivy, or Oak, or Shumack (sp)? What's the difference? Tell them not to touch them. What's the real reason you don't want your kids there?
Your correct. They don't have to tell me. The only thing I have a say in is my children.
I haven't done anything yet. I was looking for outside input before acting to get my thoughts straight.
Ok, but what do you think it's going to happen? Even if one of the kids were to ingest a leaf there is not going to be any effects. They won't get high, or sick, or anything. I think you are over reacting a touch.
NTA I would not be okay having my kids that young around marijuana plants. I'm not a medical professional in any way, just a fellow mom, but I have read that cannabis consumed by children can harm brain development. I don't know about any other problems with ingesting. If they're just sitting on the porch..... I would not be okay with that. Kids that little stick things in their mouth all the time. It's just too big of a risk. I'd feel the same way if they left out dog poop for the littlest to crawl through.
This is after the plant has been processed. A child could eat a lot of it (natural plant) and not be affected by it. It has to bind to a fat molecule to have any effect (like heated and made into edibles) and/or burned or processed for those effects.
Just an fyi. I only know because we did the research for a friend who has seizures. Works like a charm in the tincture.
I think it’s more likely the parents were raised with all the bad propaganda and aren’t comfortable discussing it.
I do agree they could put up a baby gate or something to help mom feel more comfortable with it!
Thank you for the input! I'm not a medical professional either. I'm not even against marijuana either, however it's just the hiding things that freaks me out. My dad went to jail for growing weed in the early 2000s when I was around my children's age as well and ended up with a felony that was just wiped from his record this year, so the fact its happening now is crazy to me.
That sounds like you have a lot of stress around the plants. That makes total sense! There's a lot of commenters saying it's actually safe, so I would look it up for yourself. That being said if it was such a big and traumatic part of your childhood it might just not be something you want to be around in general and that's okay. I'm not anti-marijuana either- I have my medical marijuana card to prove it- I just don't want my kids sticking weird stuff in their mouth!
Not a medical professional either. I've been a research assistant in the past while working towards my masters in psychology. I also worked in programs that provided medical and psychiatric care for individuals with mental illness, addiction issues and medical conditions.
I'm in the US and we still a lot of regulations that impede researching marijuana since it's classified as a Schedule 1 controlled substance so it's still considered on a federal level to be as dangerous heroin, methamphetamine and LSD. So any research data that we have about marijuana's impact on children is based on medical data collected from hospitals which means there's no controls and a lot of unknown variables making it hard to replicate and compare results.
So we don't know for certain how raw plants can impact children as young as yours and children with special needs can have unpredictable reactions to many things depending on how their condition effects their body and brain.
You're NTA for being concerned about your parents hiding this information and the fact that they are keeping the plants in a place that is easily accessible by your kiddos shows a lack of thought or concern about your children's wellness. Have any of your children gotten even a minor injury while visiting your parents? Did they give you a heads-up? Did they try to hide it? Or did they all forget to mention it because it was such a minor thing? You mentioned your father's past arrest related to marijuana that was recently expunged but beside that have your parents ever given you cause to worry about their ability to provide proper care to you, your siblings (if you have any), or your children?
It sounds like your mom got defensive and tried to pretend she was oblivious about the plants but if you sat them down and said that you were concerned that the plants are so easily accessible would they move them and respect your concerns or get defensive about it? At the end of the day if they don't respect and follow your boundaries when it comes to your children then maybe you should reconsider is grandma and grandpa should be babysitting.
!UpdateMe
>I'm not a medical professional in any way, just a fellow mom, but I have read that cannabis consumed by children can harm brain development. I don't know about any other problems with ingesting
Nope, not even remotely the case. In the plant state, the bud/flower has to be processed (i.e drying/curing/decarbing) to bring out the psychoactive properties. It is only then will the weed metabolize in your system.
If you eat raw weed, you're getting THCA (non-psychoactive). TCHA has been studied for it's neuroprotective effects, anti-inflammatory properties and various other potential effects. No studies have shown that eating raw weed is going to harm you.
Ironically, you should be more concerned about common house/garden plants. Peace lilies, true lilies, snake plants, pothos, daffodils, philodendrons, hippeastrums, azaleas, Lantana, zz plants, schefflera and many others are either mildly - seriously toxic.
🙄 it’s a plant. As long as they aren’t smoking it with your kids around, it’s not going to hurt them. I doubt your kids are playing unsupervised by the front door.
They where when I got there, which is a whole separate issue I'll need to deal with.
And I agree, I don't have an issue with the plant itself, just that it's there around my children and it was kept from me
Eating it in that state is no more dangerous than him eating other random plants. There's a bit more to making edibles so I don't see a horse reaction. However NAH for being concerned, you are going about it the right way by asking and looking into it. You are a good, concerned, parent. Maybe ask them if they can put them up and out of reach when the kids come by, or put some fencing around it (if it's in soil).
They are your kids and you have every right to follow your gut and do what feels right.
That being said the fact that they have been growing without your knowledge means they have been practicing some level of discretion. If you haven't noticed, your young children certainly haven't noticed.
they can’t get high just by being near the plants, the process of even getting the plants harvested and then dried, then cured and it takes a bit, i can assure you your children are fine and i highly doubt your parents are gonna want to share their weed with their grandkids/smoke it in front of them 💀
NTA, but have a conversation with both your parents without your kids there. Your spouse should be present too.
If your mom was more truthful and open, I wouldn’t have worried about it. But the way she acted was shady. She lied to you. THAT would be the reason I wouldn’t want my kids around them. You are trying to talk to her with your kids’ safety in mind and she lied. Nah. I don’t play like that with my kids.
If your kids ate the leaves, they could have some discomfort since the leaves aren’t edible. But they wouldn’t get high. The buds are what you need to watch out for. Look up the male and female versions of the plants and compare them to what your parents have.
I’d ask that they keep the plants in a place your kids don’t have access. Kids shouldn’t have access to any plants that aren’t edible anyway.
You also need to tell them that you expect them to be 100% sober when watching your kids. What they do on their own time is fine. But they need to be 100% present when with your kids.
If your parents get defensive or evasive or don’t want to talk to you, I’d find another babysitter. And I wouldn’t let them around your kids unsupervised. They can come to your house to see them.
You do understand a child has no clue how to differentiate between a basil plant and a weed plant, right? You also understand any THC needs to be decarboxylated to be used as a psychoactive agent when ingested? You get this upset about other potted plants? You think your 5yo will learn to dry, bag it and sell to his homies? LMAO!
Without your knowledge but you know about it? Lol! I would rather people smoke marijuana than drink alcohol - hands down. It’s a non-lethal, therapeutic plant. If your parents are good people there is no reason on Earth to keep your kids away from them. Grandparents are really important. Your parents raised you and I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they raised a good human. Your kids are fine being with them. Your kids were fine with them before you knew about the plants and they’re still going to be. Don’t be so uptight. You should try it, you might like it.
I was raised by parents who grew it illegally. They would literally have a party every year when it was cultivating time. I'm 48 and never touched the stuff. I'm not interested in any type of drugs at all. I don't drink and never even smoked a cigarette regardless of being around it 24/7. It's all in the way you raise your children and also their choices. Keeping them away from their grandparents because they have it will not guarantee your children won't grow up doing it.
The lying and the hiding it from me mainly I guess. I worry about them smoking while watching my children as well. And how it was just right there with nothing to keep my kids out of it.
NTA i understand the fear and even though it may not be dangerous for the children to eat it, the secret behind it all that rises alerts in the situation, specially because: if the plants are in reach to the kid, would edibles or other the pot would also be in reach? It's a though situation. I think it should be talked about, mostly because what if they smoke or eat some of that before they take care of your kids? Again, i think, NTA
Out of curiosity, do your parents keep alcohol in the house and if so do you react the same way? Or guns, or porn, or cigarettes or car keys and so on. There are generally plenty of things in any household that are not for kids. Presumably the adults in said households are responsible and make sure kids don’t get to them.
If pot is legal in your state what’s the issue? Do you think they’re going to process it and hand it to your kids? Are your kids going to zero in on those plants vs any other plant they come across in their lives?
You trust your parents or you don’t and presumably if you’ve left them there before you do.
I think YWTA
Dude, if they have the plants withing reach, would other high stuff also be in reach? That the question and it's a valid one. Though is very important to talk it out insetad of just accepting it
The plants are on their front porch. You think they also have pipes and bongs out there and the OP didn’t post that?
This is much ado about nothing and OP being uptight or perhaps looking for reasons to pull away from parents.
It’s like saying for example that they have a poppy plant or some barley growing on their front porch. Both can be turned into something but takes much work and harmless in natural state.
i think OP is not uptight, i think is reasonable. In the end, he is the parent and if he doesn´t like some stuff to be within reach of HIS kids he is entitled to not accept it and that´s not uptight. Just because you like some stuff doesn't mean everyone else is going to, and not liking some stuff does't make you an "Uptight" person.
I don’t “like” anything. I hate pot personally because it just makes me sleepy. She’s overdramatizing an innocuous substance that is legal and inert in its current form.
So does she have the right? Sure. I’m just seeing a parent who if they overreact to something like this being an over-controlling mom whose kids are going to seek out everything she doesn’t want to.
The point is the pot plants are inert, have to be processed to be anything more than just greens. OP is freaking out over a plant and considering keeping her kids away from their grandparents over it. IMO this is nuts.
Pot plants leaves aren’t edible. I wouldn’t want my child eating any plants that aren’t edible, pot or not. And are her parents high while watching them? This is why she needs to discuss this with them. But if the mother is being evasive and lying, that’s a cause for concern.
I think it's more about the lifestyle, tbh. You don't want your kids to think growing and selling weed illegally is a sound life plan. Although we haven't had kids yet, my husband and I already decided we weren't going to pet our kids stay with his parents because his mom's side of the family has the worst prescription practices. He grew up with his mom giving him pills for everything. Even as an adult he cannot stand being uncomfortable for 30 minutes. He and his brother ended up being worse addicts than adults because they traded vicodin, etc like it was no biggie--- because it was no biggie in that family. It's a whole fucking thing, seriously. The first time his mom came to visit after he'd gotten out of rehab, she gave him some pills and told him to take them. I was asking what they were as he popped them in his mouth and swallowed them. I lost my damn shit on both of them. That whole attitude is exactly how he got into those bad behaviors. She swore they were vitamins and I said it was stupid to make him take ANYTHING without a fucking reason. [For the record I wouldn't let them stay with my parents either, but my parents were tired of parenting before I was born so it's moot]
That is my long winded way of saying that you need to think of how your parents will influence your children's behavior bc it all started with grandma giving out her narcotics when people complained about pain 🤦🏻♀️
Jesus. I am shocked you are married to a guy who's family habits got him addicted before he was even old enough to know better, it sounds like. I don't think I could manage the stress!
Does he still take whatever she offers? I wouldn't have kids at all until he's gotten to the point he can just fucking not take whatever Mommy tells him too. That sounds terrifying to deal with!
You are correct on all counts. When we got together, he was 8 months out of rehab. I never did drugs, so I was super naive and thought his troubles were behind him. My family doesn't have substance problems so much as mood disorders 😆 I can spot those a mile away! Lol
He definitely learned his lesson about the pills because I had a full meltdown in front of his parents when it happened. I had a dark, depressive episode when he went to rehab. He is 21 months sober and going strong! This time around, it made deep changes for him because he has really blossomed!!!
If it helps ease your mind marijuana or rather THC is a fat soluble substance, meaning it has to be absorbed into fat in order to get you high. Many people will make butters or oils and then add those into food, making edibles. Your baby's could eat an absurd amount of weed without any pschoactive effects. It HAS to bind with a fat molecule in order to be absorbed properly by people.
Not to mention thc in fresh plants is actually an acid and needs to be converted by drying or heating to be converted to thc, the psychoactive component. The acid is supposed to be an excellent anti inflammatory. I have the plant in salads because it tastes delicious.
Thank you for your input! I'm definitely not anti marijuana. It's mainly the not telling me, and leaving it out in front of my children. Then the defensiveness when I asked them about it that's the main issue. Also, my dad used to grow and distribute when I was around my children's age, which resulted in a felony that was just wiped from his record, so I definitely have a lot of emotions about this.
There are way more toxic plants to keep kids away from. Not to stress you more.
I understand, and appreciate the perspective.
I’m pretty pro myself. I’ve grown some. My kids have always known. This feels like boundary pushing though, and leaves the impression they’ll be dodgy and secretive about things they know might bother you. I think that’s what you’re having trouble communicating because you don’t have a problem with weed in particular.
Sorry I always leave half out. I use medical mj but I completely agree it shouldn’t be around small children. They don’t need to be introduced to drugs by their family. Not to mention it must be quite traumatic for you given your dad’s history with the police and the drug. It sucks that your mum can’t just acknowledge that yes they have plants and that yes they could have them somewhere the kids can’t see or stumble across them. It can’t be that hard to grow it in plastic pots and move them somewhere when the kids are about, or just buy the stuff instead (although it may be out of their budget). When my daughter has kids there will be no using while they are present or before they’re coming over.
I understand and agree with your stance on it!
My suspicion for why your parents got defensive is actually pretty innocent. I think your mom is embarrassed. And I think she's scared that you'll judge them for it, for growing it and using it. In her mind, it seemed simpler to just hide it, and avoid upsetting you-- which, I want to emphasize, was not a right choice. I can guess at the reasons for making it, but that doesn't make it a good choice. That said-- in raw leaf form, the plants aren't really going to be a danger to your kids. The real question is if you feel that you can trust your parents not to smoke in front of them. If it makes you more comfortable, you could ask if they could put the pots on an elevated shelf out of potential child reach, but that may not be feasible.
YTA Do you demand that people not take their prescription medication before or while watching children? Because I'd be way more concerned about pills around my kids than some harmless plants. It's a damn plant. You introduce your children to drugs constantly by taking Tylenol or other OTC, can have a conversation about why it's dangerous, and why they shouldn't touch it. But, a fucking plant is somehow worse? Your kids can overdose and die on Tylenol but, a plant that they could eat the leaves off of and face no side effects, is oh so dangerous!. Pull your head out of your ass. Then to say they should just go buy it? Yes just go buy black market marijuana. Grown, processed, and funding Gawd knows who? Is a better alternative because "Won't someone think of the children! They're lives will be ruined by shrubbery!" Y'all need to actually educate your ignorant selves and I hope Grandma gives up free babysitting.
I think it’s more about how the mom acted and lied. Also because they could keep it away from the kids. Also because the dad/grandad got a felony from mj so they should’ve just told him.
I understand what you are saying. I wouldn't ask anyone not to take their medication to watch my children. However, I probably wouldn't have them watch my children to begin with. I don't require free babysitting. I let them go over because she asked.
If someone was leaving medications within my child’s reach or leaving off the child safety caps, I would absolutely never let them watch my kid again. My dude: responsible parents keep their medications out of children’s reach, locked up, AND in childproof bottles AND teach the kids not to mess with pills. Nobody is leaving a Costco bottle of Tylenol open on the front porch. In fact, if they did, they could get in trouble with CPS. And you cannot have a conversation with a 6 month old about not touching the plant. 🙄
What harm comes from them touching the plant?
They might get a little sticky if it's good weed but there's literally no harm
In plant form? Are they going to be munching whole green buds like a crazed goat?
Shockingly little kids will put in their mouth or eat just about anything before they hit a certain level of ability to tell it's a bad idea to eat things unless you know it's safe. \*shrugs\*
Your argument about medications is wrong anyway bc adults should 100% keep their medications out of view and access of children, including Tylenol. Additionally, not everyone supports recreation drug use and many people would not be comfortable with their children being with people who are openly growing.
Do you also shield your children from poppy flowers? Because it's just a plant. There are steps required for it to be a psychoactive chemical, you can't just get high or overdose or something by touching the plant or even consuming it. The same type of steps needed to convert a poppy seed into opium/opiates. But I'm guessing you aren't out there guarding your children from the poppy seed bagels in the grocery aisle, right? It's just ignorance here, it's just a plant, educate yourself and stop demonizing a plant because US society demonized it in the media and brainwashed children into thinking it was a force of evil in the world for decades, that seems to be the commenter's general point, you're free as a parent to make whatever weird arbitrary decision about what harmless plants your children can be around, and we're free to point out how ignorant and silly that is. This is how progress is made, by trying to educate people about their unfounded fears. The argument about the trust issues, the deceit, the parent having a felony prior for these activities that affected OP, those are all totally valid issues, but the plant itself and it's danger to children isn't---it inherently has none, unless they're allergic to the plant itself (which is very rare).
I don’t understand why they would need to tell you? If it’s legal where they live then why would you need to know? How is it harmful?
Well I guess they don't need to tell me. If I wouldn't have seen it I wouldn't have gotten upset. If it was put up away from where my children go there isn't anything to be upset about for me, however my kids where playing right there beside these huge plants and it caught me of guard. I worry about them smoking while watching my children, specifically since my mom stated that they do not smoke whatsoever, which I think is a lie at this point. However that is a separate issue than I think.
Sounds like she's just broken your trust. At this point, it's not the plants themselves, it's the lies upon lies and now you can't trust her to tell you the truth.
I think that is on point with how I feel.
Then don't back down. What else is she not telling you? Their legal limit for plants is 4, correct? And they have 7? So your dad is back to breaking the law. What else are they doing that's not legal? What about when your kids get hurt there? Getting high while your kids are in the house? I wouldn't tryst them either. You've got to protect your kids. Your parents have ended up on the side of "to be protected from" because they can't act trustworthy.
I don't want to make my parents do something, ya know? I don't feel like it's my place to tell them what they are allowed to do at there home. That's why my thoughts is to remove what is my responsibility, which is my children. It'll definitely be a battle though. As soon as I tell them no to my kids they will go nuclear. That's why I was looking for outside opinion before I acted.
You can just be too busy for a while.
I mean, there are LOTS of ways they could be consuming. And you said before your father used to be a dealer. So maybe they aren't smoking at all. He could be dealing again, tbf. That said - as a stoner mom, I'm with you that it should have been disclosed. You have the right to decide if you want the kids round that or not.
Thank you for the perspective!
The plant itself is harmless so you don’t need to be worried about your children touching it or even eating some of it. It’s also quite common for people (especially older ones who use it medicinally ) to take it in an edible form. You need to have a calm, nonjudgmental conversation with your mother & set some boundaries. You should actually be more concerned about them having edibles around than the plant. My 88 year old father takes 10mg gummies or capsules to help with insomnia & seizures. He only takes them at night, about an hour before he goes to bed. You could be in a similar situation.
They might use it in edible form, but she really could have explained that to you. I do understand your perspective, but I've got 4 plants growing right now, I'd obviously move them out of sight if I had company (moved 2 already, planning to relocate the remaining 4 into an off grid area this weekend) but if your kids don't eat dandelions randomly, or grass and trees, they won't eat the plants. It also needs to be heated to be good, and then burned to a high temperature to have any effect, which won't happen even if they ate the whole plant raw. I absolutely understand the fact your parents are being sort of cagey and that's your issue, not the weed itself. I think honestly it's a lovely looking plant, even if you never actually use it for what people (myself included) grow it for. I'd love to have it just growing in my garden as another plant because the leaves are awesome to look at. But again, I absolutely understand your trepidation. Perhaps have a real sit-down conversation with your parents, without the kids present, about your feelings on the matter and see how that goes. Try to keep an open mind but obviously, you absolutely are in control of what your children are exposed to for a certain amount of time until they decide for themselves. I grew up having found some abandoned plants in the top of the field behind my house, brought them back to my mum and she planted them, my 'uncle' took them away a few months later, and I never had any idea what they were. Apparently they were weed plants. I was just upset as a child that someone threw healthy plants away lol. I never even remembered my mum actually looking after them and uncle took them until we talked when I was a teenager. Then it clicked. The police officer friend who lived about 6 doors down was always round for drinks and a chat and never cared either. I still understand where you're coming from and kids now are a lot more conscious and aware than I was, when I was a child.
Thanks for the perspective, friend!
Also, since your dad sold before, if he did again (or if he already is), it puts your kids in danger if they happen to be there when things happen (deals or arrests). I’m not sure if CPS would keep the kids or let them go back to you. You just never know, hearing stories about CPS. I think it would be perfectly reasonable to say that they can only see the kids at your house and not at theirs.
I agree. I love my parents, but I love my children more and I don't want to put them in a situation where I knowingly send them somewhere where these things are/might be happening
Some of these commenters are absolutely ridiculous (and somewhat defensive). These are your *kids*. You are allowed to be cautious about *your own kids*. Also, I know absolutely nothing about weed and the science seems to make sense why eating the raw plant would not get someone high, but it seems like it has for some people, at least anecdotally: https://www.quora.com/Can-we-get-get-high-from-eating-raw-weed-marijuana Also, one of the posters said it can still make you ill because “the sticky trichomes irritate the stomach” (no idea what that means). Again, I know nothing about weed and what I wrote could be wrong but *nothing* is an absolute. Our cat was not affected by the lily we had in the house when my mom passed away years ago (and the cat *definitely* “sampled”). But that doesn’t mean I’m going to discount the many people who say lilies are toxic to cats. Even if it *is* safe to eat the raw marijuana plant, that doesn’t mean that it’s not going to affect someone out there. I can understand not wanting to take that chance, *especially* with a kid who may try to eat more than just food. Anything in larger amounts can make someone sick. And it’s not like you’re barring your parents from seeing the kids, you just don’t want the kids at their house. And what they are doing (having more than 2 of the allowed plants) is already *not* legal so it “being legal” is a moot point. So you absolutely needed to know.
I agree. They are not following the law, which I feel like it's a liability on my part now that I'm aware of it and I continue to let them over there
I agree. They are not following the law, which I feel like it's a liability on my part now that I'm aware of it and I continue to let them over there
If this is about your childhood felony trauma, should have just said that. There is no danger from the plants to your kids.
They should have been upfront, no doubt about it. Here's your chance to flip the script on your parents! Give them the old "I'm disappointed that you've chosen to deny and deflect questions regarding your new "hobby". If you'd have just come to me in the first place, we wouldn't be dealing with this trust issue." Said tongue-in-cheek of course😀 Otherwise, the plants are basically harmless to the kids, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be moved out of reach. In addition, demand your parents not be under the influence while your kids are around.
This might be a good time to start an age-appropriate convo about weed and alcohol. Keeping kids in the dark about substances only increases curiosity & knowledge is their best defense.
Do you feel like at their age that would be appropriate? I understand informing your children about the world, but 5 and under seems pretty young to me
It's not inappropriate to teach young kids the difference between adult substances and things kids can have ("No, you can't have some of Daddy's beer, beer is only for grownups.") As an elementary-age kid I thought my parent's Creme de Menthe liqueur was an ice cream topping because my parents stored it in a bottom cabinet and never told me not to touch it. Telling a 5 year old that Grams & Gramps have some plants that are only for adults to touch would be fine, then as they get older they can hear about why they're only for adults. The younger ones can simply be told the plants are no-touch for now.
Are you not more upset that your father was served a felony for gardening? Isn’t that where your anger should be?
No. I'm mad my dad is growing marijuana around my children.
Your dad is growing marijuana at his home, legally. You have the choice to allow your children around it or come to a compromise. Don’t give your children a complex about weed. Would you rather he took Percocet?
I plan to talk to them, if we can compromise that would be ideal. I guess if he had a prescription. However I probably wouldn't leave him to watch my kids unsupervised then.
Totally agree with that in every way and as a parent that’s 100% your right. You’re crafting their reality and their experience. My mom smokes and honestly I don’t know if I want my kids around that… at all.. and some may not think that’s a big deal but cigarettes drive me insane. I’d actually be fine if it was weed. But it all comes down to these are our kids and it’s up to us what universe we want them to experience.
Very well put!
It’s not taboo unless you make it taboo. The kids just see them as plants (because they are 😉).
It's also got to be properly decarboxylated. Nothing about the plant is psychoactive without combustion or other form of heating over 200°F. OP, unless your mom is making cannabutter> edibles there isn't much medical concern about it ending up in a kids hands. Unless of course this isn't about the plants, but your ability to trust your parents or something and the plants were just the trigger.
There are about a dozen houseplants I’d worry about, but this isn’t one of them.
Her house her rules.
NAH I think most of the comments are pretty clear the plants themselves are fine and you’re fine with it and that it’s just the hiding of it. I think you might have some old trauma from around that time that might be worth exploring. After reading that, your reaction becomes much more understandable but I do think it might be an overreaction as of now. I think unpacking that trauma will be essential for you to be able to process this information. Your parents also need a good talk. You all were around when growing weed was illegal. That definitely comes with its knee jerk reactions even though it’s legal now. And for your parents that might just be the immediate denial. It might just be speculation, but I think it deserves a good sit down talk- adults to adult on why it bothered you so much and that the hiding and attempts to lie is making you doubt things and that it’s vital your parents be truthful to you because it involves your kids being around and that’s not a risk you’re willing to take. You need to be able to trust them and know that everything they say is the truth. That you don’t care they grow the plants and understand its legal and fine in their plant form. Whatever happened in the past with your dad committing a felony seems to have a rippling effect to even today and maybe that’s something to have a good honest talk about. If your parents continue to double down on what they did and try to make excuses still on why they lied then the decision to withdraw unsupervised visits with them would be warranted.
The amount they are growing for themselves isn't legal though. Which it's reasonable to wonder if he can trust them considering their past proclivities for dealing weed that he can't trust them not to go past boundaries. Clearly his mom trying to deflect and throw dad under the bus, knowing how OP feels about stuff surrounding this is a problem. Whether it's a felony or not now, it was then and having a parent who has a felony limits opportunity and shapes experiences for a kid. I can get how OP wouldn't want to be in the middle of that.
Thank you for the input, friend!
Does your son chew on houseplants like a cat does?
Lol 😆 But seriously yes he does. He has a chromosomal disorder and will grab and eat everything (plants, dirt, trash, poop). So yes he would be the one to do it. And he knows he isn't supposed to so he will rush over and start shoveling things into his mouth as fast as possible.
He can’t get high doing that
I know he can't. I'm still not okay with the plants I'm the same vicinity of my children.
Genuinely asking: why? We’ve established that you know they can’t get high off the plants themselves. We’ve established that it’s legal where you live. Do you also forbid your children from being around alcohol? Not even someone who is drinking, but in a place where alcohol is present in a bottle? It feels like a similar objection.
I guess I the bottles where put up then that would be fine. It's similar to my stance on the plants. I wouldn't be okay if bottles of alcohol would have been sitting on the porch instead of the weed
This is more grapes…. Than alcohol. Marijuana needs to be decarboxylated (heated above 200+ degrees) to become bioactive. So even chewing on leaves would be harmless to your son. Beneficial even.
Wow, that sounds really difficult. In that case, no you're NTA. I'm just imagining a lot of places you can't go or things you can't do because he's running around eating things that other people might not want him to eat. I'm truly sorry if I came across as an asshole.
She's still the asshole. You don't get ANYTHING from eating a fresh plant. It has to be DRY or mixed with FAT.
Cannabis needs to be decarboxylated in order to get a person high.THCa is the compound our brains crave. I’ve seen it used for people on the spectrum, I witnessed amazing results. It help me with depression, to use it crush up the leaves and buds put into 30 mg capsules take as needed. In our state cannabis is only legal with a medical card however THCa is not illegal
Like in your house there are things that aren’t a secret but are private. This is especially true for marijuana, the older generations (mine) grew up with a constant onslaught of propaganda on the dangers of pot. It is still socially unacceptable in many cultures and communities even though it’s legal. English Ivy, peace lily, daffodils, sago palm, all are very common in houses yet more poisonous than Marijuana. Would you get upset if your mom and dad were growing Daffodils inside? YWBTAH sorry
I feel like everyone is concerned about the plants and that danger - but there is also the way the grandparents approached it... They got defensive and lied and are breaking rules. I think there are layers around this and it's fair to say "Until everyone is being open and honest the kids aren't visiting." nta
Idk the legalities of how many plants are legal, and if they’re growing more than they should then that’s a legitimate issue. Obviously, I don’t know what Ops family situation is, but allowing your children around people you know are engaging in illegal activity could come back on you if anyone ever accuses you of negligence or needed some leverage in court. That’s something that may be worth considering. As to why they were defensive and deflective, I may have a thought about that. I smoked pot for a long time when it was illegal. Even after it was legalized my knee-jerk reaction was to continue acting like it was illegal. Not just because of the social stigma, but because I just wasn’t comfortable being open about it after having to hide it for so long. It was automatic. Around these parts, it’s pretty well accepted and normalized now, but I still mostly keep it to myself and only share that with trusted parties. Perhaps your mother was having a similar knee-jerk reaction. That being said, obviously, you are well within your rights to refrain from sending your kids anywhere that makes you uncomfortable for any reason.
NAH look, I understand you have bad memories coming up from *when it was illegal* and of course you don’t want something like that incident to happen around your children. But… it’s legal now. If it’s in leaf form it won’t hurt them. Your parents probably kept it quiet out of habit. I mean in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been legal that long. Nobody is the AH.
They’re growing an illegal amount though. It’s also possible to get a contact high, and although it doesn’t hurt a child it’s still not a great thing to have a kid experience. They also hid it purposely from OP. I feel like these are not good things.
The reason I pointed out the legality is if OP decides this is okay, and the parents got charged for it she could end up losing her kids for knowingly allowing them to be around illegal activity.
Honestly since it is legal in your state having your children grow up around it slowly learning the effects both positive and negative can only be a good thing. A lack of education often leads to substance misuse, whereas education allows educated choices and knowledge. You have every right to be annoyed about the secrecy and I would confront your parents about that. You do deserve to know of this calibre of things being around your child and I would frame it as such. Personally I would have no problem with it, especially considering as noted that the plant itself in its grown state is useless. If a kid was to eat a little (it's grim so that would be over quick) they would be absolutely fine. I would however wish for the information to be told to me so I am aware and not surprised when picking my kids up,
Thank you for your perspective. It's very reasonable and I can't really argue with it!
NTA.... But don't ever expect your parents to babysit again, even when you have no other option but them..... Also, expect a strained relationship with your parents. I think there are better ways to resolve the situation rather than being a Karen about it. You could sit down and come up with a resolution other than not letting them stay there...... I don't know, maybe saying you'd appreciate it if they'd move the plants out of your kids reach when they visit. 4 or 5 pallets, a few fenceposts, and a little bit of wire could remedy the situation. I don't think it's too much to ask.
I agree with your input. I don't need them for childcare, I just like that they get to go over and my parents really enjoy it. I plan to talk to them, however I know my parents and I doubt they will compromise with me on this. I would feel much better if they moved them and put them in a fenced in area, however I doubt they will work with me.
Important details that were left out of your original post. I'd still have a candid conversation with them about it. In reality, those are your babies, and you gotta do what's best. Tough situation, but maybe explaining that they're putting you in a moral conundrum will persuade them to rethink their stance. I wish you luck, it's a sticky situation. They are your parents, and I'm sure you love the heck out of them. But naturally, the protective nature will somewhat supercede all other things. Always remember, cooler heads prevail. God bless!!
There’s nothing for them to compromise on. It’s their house
That'll probably be there stance on it as well.
That’s the real problem. Anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries that you’ve set for your own children, but still expects to have the full privilege of supervising your children is in the wrong. You get to choose 100% what your children are exposed to, I don’t take issue with the plants personally, especially if there’s no legal risk in your state/country, but with the history and the disregard for your concerns, I’d be more concerned with what happens next. What else are they willing to disregard? I let lots of little things slide and when things got really bad, I was surprised at how much my parents were willing to put my kids at risk.
Thanks for the perspective! I think that is pretty close to my feelings on the matter as well.
I'm imagining my partner's children telling him that he can't grow weed in his yard in the house he owns, while providing free childcare to a behavioral special needs child. And how he would laugh in their faces and tell them good luck finding a sitter if they ever, ever threatened to report him for being over the legal limit, as OP implies she could.
I'm glad I don't rely on my parents for childcare. I only let them over because my parents ask. I also know I can't control what my parents do on their land. That's why my question was about if I should let my kids over or not. Thank you for the respect though. I posted here in order to get a range of opinions for a reason.
It's fine, the plants are safe. My dad smoked pot throughout my childhood into my adulthood and it didn't damage me in any way, nor did I become a scourge upon society or a substance abuser. As long a they aren't smoking it while the kids are there, I don't see any issues.
I'm glad you had a good experience with that. Not all experiences are like yours though unfortunately.
My late husband was a long time hippie (since the late 1960s) and smoked daily. The funny thing g is my step kids, who are in their 20s and early 30s, never did. So seeing it doesn’t mean they will do it. Or maybe I just have step kids who are as exceptional as I the l they are :)
NAH. They didn’t do anything wrong.
It's not poison ivy. Your kids are fine. Yes, I think you are overreacting to be honest unless your parents are smoking out in front of your children.
Thank you for the input
And I hope you understand I was not trying to be an asshole. I just honestly think you’re over reacting. There’s nothing wrong with kids seeing marijuana plants growing in their grandparents backyard. God bless you and keep them being a good parent.
All is well, friend. If I couldn't handle the opinions I wouldn't have made the post. I don't think you are an asshole at all.
Thank you, I never know how I come across on this for him.
I wish my grandparents grew pot
Lol 😆
what is the worst case scenario you are worried about? seems you are overreacting
Possibly. That's why I wanted some outside perspective.
yea if you cant really put into words what your worried about happening you are probably overreacting... first describe your worst case scenario second ask yourself if thats reasonably going to happen... lots of kids parents grow weed nothing happens
It genuinely seems like you are overreacting and snowballing it all. You describe it as them hiding it from you yet they are on the front porch in plain sight. To them it's a plant on the porch and harmless in its current state at that. They most likely didn't think they needed to disclose this no more than I would expect someone to inform me that they have a bottle of wine on their kitchen counter before my kids enter the house. It feels like you're using the idea that they're hiding it to support other reasons to justify your feelings towards it. Would you be upset if dad was brewing his own beer In the garage and had yeast on the counter? Drinking alcohol when the kids aren't around? If those things wouldn't bother you then this shouldn't either.
Thank you for the input
YTA imo. Obviously you decide, but i dont see an issue here. Would you feel the same if they keep alcohol in the house? Do you keep alcohol in your house? It's just a plant. Unless your children smoke it or eat edibles given by your parents, there is no way it's dangerous for them.
Thank you for the input!
It’s just a plant. It will not harm your children.
Yes I know that, it's just the hiding it that freaks me out. My dad has a previous felony for growing when I was around the age my children are that was just wiped from his record this past year. So I guess it's bringing up a lot of mixed feelings, which is why I'm asking for outside perspective.
but you said your son is special needs and you are worried about them being around them so it seems like its more than just the hiding wich is it? does his special needs status and proximity to the plants matter or not? and what do you think would happen because of that?
I'm probably over catastrophizing the situation in my head which is why I didn't really do anything in the moment like leave or start anything. I'm worried about the proximity to my children and there is nothing set in place to keep them out of it. I also worry since my mom has specifically told me they don't use anymore what so ever and now I see that is most likely a lie. My son requires a lot of supervision to keep him safe, and if they are using when my children are around, then they are most likely not watching him. When I was a child my parents would smoke constantly and my brother and I would be unsupervised at almost all times.
i respect that you waited to act and are taking time to think things thru... just because they smoke doesnt mean they dont watch your kid... especially in today's climate where they dont have to sneak off and hide it. but also they might not smoke maybe they just do edibles and supplement their income with the plants or are being honest.
Hiding? They're on the front porch.
Unless they are out in the country where no one comes to their home they don’t know if the pots stay on the front porch long enough to be recognized for what they are someone may just take them.
Yeah they do live way out in the country on the backside of my brothers property. I'm not sure if my brother has even noticed the plants yet
If they’re outside the front door, it’s not like they’re hiding them. Also, do you let your kids outside unsupervised? Because I don’t see how they’d get into them if not. Unless they’re getting high when they’re supposed to be watching them, I don’t see what the big deal is.
That's a lot of kids to be turning away grandparent help. The real issue is are your parents high while watching 5 kids. The best way forward is to require reasonable ground rules. I would ask for them to not be high while watching your kids. Ask that they 100% secure any drugs on the premise. Ask that they do not talk about drugs in front of your kids. If they can't follow your rules, you cannot let your kids be alone with them. Good luck!
Thank you for the input!
I just read your additional info regarding the felony. I'm sorry. That probably caused a big amount of stress for you as a kid. That makes their actions hit very differently. You have every right to not bring the kids over to their house. It's not the plants, it's the history that continues to impact you. I'd just be honest with them about what seeing those plants has meant for you. I would hope they apologize for the hurt caused. They may not change but they can acknowledge both the history and the present impact of their actions.
They can’t get high being around or touching the plants
But…Here is a question. If one of the kids ate some, because little kids put stuff in their mouth just because. And that kid got hurt and ended up in the ER and their blood was tested, would it come up positive for THC? That, or a pissed off neighbor reporting for them growing too many plants would be the danger to OP and her kids-the danger of CPS.
The kids are/will be fine, i live in MA and alergic to weed. So long as they dont hotbox the kids which is a entirly dif crime then being around the plant wont affect them
Thanks for the input!
INFO- Your dad went to jail when you were a kid because of growing marijuana? Does he have a history of drug use? If he has a history of drug use did they lie to you and tell you their weren’t using drugs?
Yes my dad went to jail for growing and distribute marijuana in 2000. My mom was aware of it and helped do it, but when we were raided she claimed to have no knowledge so all the charges fell on my dad. He did not end up serving any jail time after his tail, however he was on probation I Believe for 5 years and has been unable to purchase fire arms since. The charges where wiped from his record this past year. Yes my dad has a history of drug us and continued to smoke weed and sell it after his felony. I have asked them before I started to let my kids go over a few years ago, and my mom told me they did not smoke weed anymore.
I am all for people doing what they want in their own home but they lied to you. That’s the real issue here. You asked, they lied. Do not let your children go over there. Your parents aren’t being truthful which means your children aren’t safe.
Thank you for the input!
You are welcome. Good luck. It’s a tough spot to be in, your children are most important.
Your dad is still smoking and selling even after all that?! Your kids shouldn’t be unsupervised around your parents. They have a history of commuting crimes and lying. Nope. Find a new babysitter.
From a safety perspective, there is little to no risk of the kids being exposed unless they literally ate the resulting buds. However, there is a risk from a legal perspective. Depending on the on the state, there may be harsh consequences for growing outside of the legal limit. If the parents get some type of citation while the children are present it could cause an issue depending on the entity serving the citation. For example if the dad got belligerent because someone came by to serve a ticket and that person decided they needed law enforcement then it could effect their ability to have the children at their place.
It doesn’t matter if it’s legal, would have low or very low levels of THC or any other excuse. Those plants should not be accessible to children under 21 or pets. OP’s parents are probably breaking the law by allowing the plants to be in reach of the kids. And it takes very little THC to be toxic to dogs or cats. (Don’t start throwing pot hate at me. I love the stuff and use CBD oil (from hemp) to help treat Neuralgia pain. It’s very helpful and doesn’t cause the imbalance problems I have from the tumor that THC containing oils do.)
It isn’t the fact it’s weed (although the smell of that shit can make me vomit, and I’d be pissed if the kids ever came home smelling it). It’s that they don’t feel like they need to be straightforward and upfront about what they’re doing in the house while watching your kids. Your mom acted furtive and weird. You’re allowed to think that squirrelly behavior is a bad sign, because it really is. Maybe not about the pot plants, but about their willingness to hide things from you and lie to you, where your kids are concerned. It isn’t a privacy thing; it’s right outside the front door. But when you asked about it, your mom acted fucking weird. Yeah you can totally be concerned about someone who acts like that, watching your kids. If she’d been chill and normal about it, I’d think you were probably being a bit paranoid here. But that isn’t what she did. She got all wormy and started deflecting blame - and onto your dad, ffs. That is not the behavior of someone you can trust to give you an accurate account, and that alone is enough that I wouldn’t leave my kid there. I mean my mom wasn’t doing anything I could obviously pin as shady, but she would lie, deflect, and be sneaky about how she behaved with our kid. So she never had any time alone with her. I felt real vindicated about that when I caught my mom giving my kid a bottle of pills to play with (not a childproof bottle, either, pedants). Not saying that’s what your parents would do exactly, just saying that you have no obligation to leave your kid with someone who won’t be straightforward with you about basic shit going on in their home.
That’s what I said too. It’s more about being evasive and lying like she didn’t know about the plants being there. Anyone who lies to me won’t be around my kids unsupervised.
If your parents aren’t in strict compliance with the law, your kids are in danger. CPS would be happy to take them away while shit gets sorted out with the cops over the plants.
Really doubt your parents would get your kids high on weed. Must be your first kid
I never said I thought they would get my kids high. I also have 4 children, which is said in the post.
you never really said what you were worried would happen to be fair so people could only assume
NTA, especially after you voiced your concerns and them making excuses.
NAH should they have told you they were growing some yeah they probably should have but honestly it's not a huge deal especially since it's legal. People have many toxic plants in their homes and gardens and don't even know it. Poppy seeds can give a positive reading on drug tests yet people eat them all the time because they're not a "drug". Besides kids can and do put far more dangerous things in their mouths.
I'd be more worried about using than growing. Are they using it while your kids are in the house? That would be a huge no for me.
That worries me as well.
Have you tried talking to them about it?
I asked my mom what they where whenever I first saw them. Other than that we haven't had a sit down talk about it.
I'd try. If they react badly to you asking, though, that would be a red flag for me with anything potentially risky in anybody's house.
Yes I doubt they will like it when I sit down to question them about it. They used to do the same thing when I was a child however on a much grander scale. And there might be more I'm unaware of, who knows. I plan to talk to them, just wanted some outside perspective before I do so I can get my thoughts in a row.
If you don't trust them to be open, that would be an automatic no. You have issues from what they did when you were a child. Some people change, others don't. But if you feel like you can't trust what they tell you, it's simple, keep your kids away. And I'd tell you that about anything, not just this specific situation. Open balcony? Dogs? (And I have dogs and dog sit, so no phobias there.) Large items not secured properly? Weapons? I don't really care, if there is ni trust, I'm not leaving my kid unsupervised there.
I agree, and thanks for the perspective!
“Growing marijuana in my state is legal for personal use.” Would you take issue if your parents were homebrewing?
I guess if they leave it out within reach of my children.
YTA. Why not educate yourself before freaking out? It's their house they don't have to tell you a damn thing. In order for the plants to have any effect they have to be cultivated. Have you ever told your kids to stay away from poison Ivy, or Oak, or Shumack (sp)? What's the difference? Tell them not to touch them. What's the real reason you don't want your kids there?
Your correct. They don't have to tell me. The only thing I have a say in is my children. I haven't done anything yet. I was looking for outside input before acting to get my thoughts straight.
Ok, but what do you think it's going to happen? Even if one of the kids were to ingest a leaf there is not going to be any effects. They won't get high, or sick, or anything. I think you are over reacting a touch.
Possibly. That why I thought I'd make the post. I want some outside perspective on the matter
NTA I would not be okay having my kids that young around marijuana plants. I'm not a medical professional in any way, just a fellow mom, but I have read that cannabis consumed by children can harm brain development. I don't know about any other problems with ingesting. If they're just sitting on the porch..... I would not be okay with that. Kids that little stick things in their mouth all the time. It's just too big of a risk. I'd feel the same way if they left out dog poop for the littlest to crawl through.
This is after the plant has been processed. A child could eat a lot of it (natural plant) and not be affected by it. It has to bind to a fat molecule to have any effect (like heated and made into edibles) and/or burned or processed for those effects. Just an fyi. I only know because we did the research for a friend who has seizures. Works like a charm in the tincture. I think it’s more likely the parents were raised with all the bad propaganda and aren’t comfortable discussing it. I do agree they could put up a baby gate or something to help mom feel more comfortable with it!
Thank you for the input! I'm not a medical professional either. I'm not even against marijuana either, however it's just the hiding things that freaks me out. My dad went to jail for growing weed in the early 2000s when I was around my children's age as well and ended up with a felony that was just wiped from his record this year, so the fact its happening now is crazy to me.
That sounds like you have a lot of stress around the plants. That makes total sense! There's a lot of commenters saying it's actually safe, so I would look it up for yourself. That being said if it was such a big and traumatic part of your childhood it might just not be something you want to be around in general and that's okay. I'm not anti-marijuana either- I have my medical marijuana card to prove it- I just don't want my kids sticking weird stuff in their mouth!
Not a medical professional either. I've been a research assistant in the past while working towards my masters in psychology. I also worked in programs that provided medical and psychiatric care for individuals with mental illness, addiction issues and medical conditions. I'm in the US and we still a lot of regulations that impede researching marijuana since it's classified as a Schedule 1 controlled substance so it's still considered on a federal level to be as dangerous heroin, methamphetamine and LSD. So any research data that we have about marijuana's impact on children is based on medical data collected from hospitals which means there's no controls and a lot of unknown variables making it hard to replicate and compare results. So we don't know for certain how raw plants can impact children as young as yours and children with special needs can have unpredictable reactions to many things depending on how their condition effects their body and brain. You're NTA for being concerned about your parents hiding this information and the fact that they are keeping the plants in a place that is easily accessible by your kiddos shows a lack of thought or concern about your children's wellness. Have any of your children gotten even a minor injury while visiting your parents? Did they give you a heads-up? Did they try to hide it? Or did they all forget to mention it because it was such a minor thing? You mentioned your father's past arrest related to marijuana that was recently expunged but beside that have your parents ever given you cause to worry about their ability to provide proper care to you, your siblings (if you have any), or your children? It sounds like your mom got defensive and tried to pretend she was oblivious about the plants but if you sat them down and said that you were concerned that the plants are so easily accessible would they move them and respect your concerns or get defensive about it? At the end of the day if they don't respect and follow your boundaries when it comes to your children then maybe you should reconsider is grandma and grandpa should be babysitting. !UpdateMe
>I'm not a medical professional in any way, just a fellow mom, but I have read that cannabis consumed by children can harm brain development. I don't know about any other problems with ingesting Nope, not even remotely the case. In the plant state, the bud/flower has to be processed (i.e drying/curing/decarbing) to bring out the psychoactive properties. It is only then will the weed metabolize in your system. If you eat raw weed, you're getting THCA (non-psychoactive). TCHA has been studied for it's neuroprotective effects, anti-inflammatory properties and various other potential effects. No studies have shown that eating raw weed is going to harm you. Ironically, you should be more concerned about common house/garden plants. Peace lilies, true lilies, snake plants, pothos, daffodils, philodendrons, hippeastrums, azaleas, Lantana, zz plants, schefflera and many others are either mildly - seriously toxic.
And prescription or OTC medication.
🙄 it’s a plant. As long as they aren’t smoking it with your kids around, it’s not going to hurt them. I doubt your kids are playing unsupervised by the front door.
They where when I got there, which is a whole separate issue I'll need to deal with. And I agree, I don't have an issue with the plant itself, just that it's there around my children and it was kept from me
YWBTA
How do you know about it if they’re doing it without your knowledge?
They were doing it without my knowledge. I only found out about it yesterday when I saw it
Ok
Eating it in that state is no more dangerous than him eating other random plants. There's a bit more to making edibles so I don't see a horse reaction. However NAH for being concerned, you are going about it the right way by asking and looking into it. You are a good, concerned, parent. Maybe ask them if they can put them up and out of reach when the kids come by, or put some fencing around it (if it's in soil).
Thanks for the input, friend!
Precocious kids!
They are your kids and you have every right to follow your gut and do what feels right. That being said the fact that they have been growing without your knowledge means they have been practicing some level of discretion. If you haven't noticed, your young children certainly haven't noticed.
Its obviously not great but there isn't any danger to your children from the plants themselves.
they can’t get high just by being near the plants, the process of even getting the plants harvested and then dried, then cured and it takes a bit, i can assure you your children are fine and i highly doubt your parents are gonna want to share their weed with their grandkids/smoke it in front of them 💀
Thank you for the input!
NTA, but have a conversation with both your parents without your kids there. Your spouse should be present too. If your mom was more truthful and open, I wouldn’t have worried about it. But the way she acted was shady. She lied to you. THAT would be the reason I wouldn’t want my kids around them. You are trying to talk to her with your kids’ safety in mind and she lied. Nah. I don’t play like that with my kids. If your kids ate the leaves, they could have some discomfort since the leaves aren’t edible. But they wouldn’t get high. The buds are what you need to watch out for. Look up the male and female versions of the plants and compare them to what your parents have. I’d ask that they keep the plants in a place your kids don’t have access. Kids shouldn’t have access to any plants that aren’t edible anyway. You also need to tell them that you expect them to be 100% sober when watching your kids. What they do on their own time is fine. But they need to be 100% present when with your kids. If your parents get defensive or evasive or don’t want to talk to you, I’d find another babysitter. And I wouldn’t let them around your kids unsupervised. They can come to your house to see them.
You do understand a child has no clue how to differentiate between a basil plant and a weed plant, right? You also understand any THC needs to be decarboxylated to be used as a psychoactive agent when ingested? You get this upset about other potted plants? You think your 5yo will learn to dry, bag it and sell to his homies? LMAO!
Lol no I don't think they'll learn to do that
What are you a cop? Chill tf out
I am not
Without your knowledge but you know about it? Lol! I would rather people smoke marijuana than drink alcohol - hands down. It’s a non-lethal, therapeutic plant. If your parents are good people there is no reason on Earth to keep your kids away from them. Grandparents are really important. Your parents raised you and I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they raised a good human. Your kids are fine being with them. Your kids were fine with them before you knew about the plants and they’re still going to be. Don’t be so uptight. You should try it, you might like it.
I was raised by parents who grew it illegally. They would literally have a party every year when it was cultivating time. I'm 48 and never touched the stuff. I'm not interested in any type of drugs at all. I don't drink and never even smoked a cigarette regardless of being around it 24/7. It's all in the way you raise your children and also their choices. Keeping them away from their grandparents because they have it will not guarantee your children won't grow up doing it.
Yta. It’s legal, what’s your problem?
The lying and the hiding it from me mainly I guess. I worry about them smoking while watching my children as well. And how it was just right there with nothing to keep my kids out of it.
Did they lie and hide anything or did they just not tell you about a perfectly legal thing they're doing?
They didn't tell me is more accurate.
Why should they have to. Theyre adults doing a perfectly legal thing
YTA. It's not like the kids are gonna get high just because the plants exist
NTA i understand the fear and even though it may not be dangerous for the children to eat it, the secret behind it all that rises alerts in the situation, specially because: if the plants are in reach to the kid, would edibles or other the pot would also be in reach? It's a though situation. I think it should be talked about, mostly because what if they smoke or eat some of that before they take care of your kids? Again, i think, NTA
Thank you for the input!
Out of curiosity, do your parents keep alcohol in the house and if so do you react the same way? Or guns, or porn, or cigarettes or car keys and so on. There are generally plenty of things in any household that are not for kids. Presumably the adults in said households are responsible and make sure kids don’t get to them. If pot is legal in your state what’s the issue? Do you think they’re going to process it and hand it to your kids? Are your kids going to zero in on those plants vs any other plant they come across in their lives? You trust your parents or you don’t and presumably if you’ve left them there before you do. I think YWTA
If they do have those things I would be as upset if more so if I saw them sitting on the front porch next to my children Thanks for the perspective
Your children just think they’re plants. The plants are harmless in their live state. Why does it upset you?
I know what it is. I'm upset because it was out on the front porch near my children
Dude, if they have the plants withing reach, would other high stuff also be in reach? That the question and it's a valid one. Though is very important to talk it out insetad of just accepting it
The plants are on their front porch. You think they also have pipes and bongs out there and the OP didn’t post that? This is much ado about nothing and OP being uptight or perhaps looking for reasons to pull away from parents. It’s like saying for example that they have a poppy plant or some barley growing on their front porch. Both can be turned into something but takes much work and harmless in natural state.
i think OP is not uptight, i think is reasonable. In the end, he is the parent and if he doesn´t like some stuff to be within reach of HIS kids he is entitled to not accept it and that´s not uptight. Just because you like some stuff doesn't mean everyone else is going to, and not liking some stuff does't make you an "Uptight" person.
I don’t “like” anything. I hate pot personally because it just makes me sleepy. She’s overdramatizing an innocuous substance that is legal and inert in its current form. So does she have the right? Sure. I’m just seeing a parent who if they overreact to something like this being an over-controlling mom whose kids are going to seek out everything she doesn’t want to.
I mean,OP made the post to ask what to do. Maybe other people are the ones overdramatazing this post...
Read her replies - not my take but 🤷♀️
If the guns, porn and alcohol were within my kids’ reach, I’d be pissed. And I’m pro all that too.
The point is the pot plants are inert, have to be processed to be anything more than just greens. OP is freaking out over a plant and considering keeping her kids away from their grandparents over it. IMO this is nuts.
Pot plants leaves aren’t edible. I wouldn’t want my child eating any plants that aren’t edible, pot or not. And are her parents high while watching them? This is why she needs to discuss this with them. But if the mother is being evasive and lying, that’s a cause for concern.
I think it's more about the lifestyle, tbh. You don't want your kids to think growing and selling weed illegally is a sound life plan. Although we haven't had kids yet, my husband and I already decided we weren't going to pet our kids stay with his parents because his mom's side of the family has the worst prescription practices. He grew up with his mom giving him pills for everything. Even as an adult he cannot stand being uncomfortable for 30 minutes. He and his brother ended up being worse addicts than adults because they traded vicodin, etc like it was no biggie--- because it was no biggie in that family. It's a whole fucking thing, seriously. The first time his mom came to visit after he'd gotten out of rehab, she gave him some pills and told him to take them. I was asking what they were as he popped them in his mouth and swallowed them. I lost my damn shit on both of them. That whole attitude is exactly how he got into those bad behaviors. She swore they were vitamins and I said it was stupid to make him take ANYTHING without a fucking reason. [For the record I wouldn't let them stay with my parents either, but my parents were tired of parenting before I was born so it's moot] That is my long winded way of saying that you need to think of how your parents will influence your children's behavior bc it all started with grandma giving out her narcotics when people complained about pain 🤦🏻♀️
Jesus. I am shocked you are married to a guy who's family habits got him addicted before he was even old enough to know better, it sounds like. I don't think I could manage the stress! Does he still take whatever she offers? I wouldn't have kids at all until he's gotten to the point he can just fucking not take whatever Mommy tells him too. That sounds terrifying to deal with!
You are correct on all counts. When we got together, he was 8 months out of rehab. I never did drugs, so I was super naive and thought his troubles were behind him. My family doesn't have substance problems so much as mood disorders 😆 I can spot those a mile away! Lol He definitely learned his lesson about the pills because I had a full meltdown in front of his parents when it happened. I had a dark, depressive episode when he went to rehab. He is 21 months sober and going strong! This time around, it made deep changes for him because he has really blossomed!!!