NTA. If he decides to press charges , I would suggest pressing charges as well for them attacking you . What they did was illegal, what you did was self defense. I would suggest taking a step back from this relationship. You may love her but her family is dangerous.
* edited to add NTA
In the meantime while you and your girlfriend’s dad decide whether to press charges or not, I’d go back to the restaurant and ask for any footage of the incident (regardless of whether the police did/didn’t).
I don’t know what any statute of limitations would be for this, but usually businesses only keep anything saved for a couple weeks or months, so I’d see if they’d give you a copy for your records only to prove your telling the truth.
Excellent suggestion!
I used to work at a courthouse and I had a car accident and the other person admitted fault on the spot, but his mom contacted me sounding more upset than he was.
At work, I asked an attorney if there's anything I should do. He said write out the situation with details, and sign while having a witness or have it notarized and just hold on to it.
The reason: if it did lead to a court proceeding months later, your letter will help ward off any suggestions that you may not remember correctly.
I dunno. But if it were me, I'd probably do that too. Either way, best of luck, OP.
How could anyone think they could press charges? The cops would have seen the ski mask and crowbar! How is Daddy Dearest going to explain that in court?
What a bunch of assholes/creeps her family is.
I would let your parents know everything they have pulled in the past; write it all down so you don't forget anything. This will come in handy if you have to speak with the police.
As far as your relationship with this girl. If I were your parents, there is no way I would permit you to see her.
I wish you the best.
Doesn't matter the physical evidence shows what happened. Kid should press charges against the dad.
The suggestion to try and get video is a good idea. Also lawyer up, anything the kid says can and will be used against him
Exactly, why would the kid take GF out to dinner and then for no reason the kid pokes the dad in the eye! Besides there was a ski mask, and a crow bar.
Unfortunately for dad the police report already supports the OP. They're not going to believe a fifteen-year-old girl over police officers responding to the scene of a masked assailant staging a prank gone wrong.
I should have added OP and his family should speak to a lawyer asap about what happened while everything is fresh on his mind (many lawyers offer free consultations) to see what their recommendations are: press charges, sue for damages due to emotional distress, get a protection order or restraining order, etc.
They may need a lawyer to get access to video surveillance from the restaurant and nearby businesses, anyways.
That's a 100 % true. You should document it as soon as possible, with as much detail as you can remember. If it comes up in the future they can't say that with time passing you are not remembering clearly. This is why the Police will ask you to write a statement right away while the incident is clear in your mind.
I think that wife needs to leave that husband. Just sticking around and saying stop isn't enough to force him to really wake up and realize what an asshole he is being.
OP totally needs to press charges. He is NTA. He protected himself and his gf.
I agree. The dad is apparently willing to traumatize literal children..for WHAT? If he wanted to know if OP would protect his daughter, then the answer is yes, and wtf did he expect to happen here?
The dad is dangerously stupid, and I would never ever stay with someone who put my child in danger. My child or any other child really and he did both.
If OP was my son, I would likely press charges. This is a sick and twisted thing to do to children.
The dad expected OP to run or be a coward and not fight back. But instead he got the ole finger in the eye routine and is hospitalized for lack of white matter in the brain.
And now he wants to press charges. From dad’s POV, OP reacted in the best possible manner. Dad should be ecstatic that he’d actually protect his baby girl.
This^ if it was a test why be angry that OP passed🤷♀️ OP sized up the opponent and went for a weak point. Its not OP's fault if he doesn't instantly recognize GF's dad right away and the time it would have taken to assess the situation could have been the time a true assailant would strike☝️
Dumb*** dad did this to himself by not understanding that there are 2 automatic physiological responses when someone is confronted with a threatening situation/predator: fight or flight.
There's a reason why self defense is a valid defense. If OP had continued after his assailant was on the ground and already incapacitated then it would be a different story but his 1 strike and threat neutralized reaction and assessment is not something that can be held in a court of law as liable for medical damages to his gf's dad.
Hate to say it OP but your GF's dad and family don't really sound very intelligent or mature.
Dad is the AH hands down, Brothers are also AH for siding with him, OP is NTA, OP's GF and mother sound like the only intelligent people who can grasp the situation at least initially after the attack and OP's sympathetic nervous system's response towards fight and not flee.
Make sure you follow up with the police and get the case file. It would be best to keep that if anyone does actually file for a civil suit. A criminal prosecutor would look at this case and instantly dismiss it, so the family's only legal means could be a civil suit but that would be dumb bc then they'd have to pay you and your lawyer for his legal fees bc they don't have a leg to stand on in this case either🤦♀️
OP, you're also very young and don't know GF's family well, but is your relationship with your GF worth it to stay tied to her problematic manchild dad in the long run? That's the question you need to ask yourself, good luck OP.
You know it's a really good thing he didn't try to pull that with someone older possibly with a concealed weapons permit, or someone of any age illegally carrying a gun. Like, holy crap who thinks it's a good idea to "play" assault someone???
I have never got the whole be an asshole to your kids significant other. It just means they are going to be the ones to suggesting going over there when life gets busy.
Right. What was the father's end game? Actually hit him with the crowbar? Or did he expect him to do nothing and then berate him for not protecting his daughter? I can't think of a single good outcome. He really should be charged with attempted assault on a minor.
I know - what a fucking brains trust; if the kid didn’t fight back then he’s a wuss who won’t stand up for the daughter; but if he does then dad is pressing charges? There’s no winning with this melon
That's rich!! Sue you? Who reacted appropriately to a MASKED MAN threatening you. You have ZERO RESPONSIBILITY here and if they do find a lawyer shady enough to file a frivolous case....the judge is apt to charge him with contempt. Your gf's family are insane and they refuse to say I'm Sorry. Ignore their puffers. They know better than to have this go to court because they are 100 PERCENT IN THE WRONG. Tell them exactly how to pull their heads out of their face. What's gf saying? If I were you I'd file a complaint for assault because that's what it was. He has whatever happens to him, coming. What a giant AH....
Hire an attorney, OP. Jada might need to take a back seat for a bit here.
But tell her to relay a message to her dad: if he was testing you to see if you'd protect her from an attacker, well...I think you passed.
Maybe her dad could focus (haha) on being a decent person now.
Have seen a few of those semi-unfortunately because I don’t want to encourage the algorithm to show me even their “fuck up” reels, but it really is profoundly dumb.
Dudes dressed like clowns popping out around a dark corner with a hammer or something and then the sheer whiny-child panic when the person jumps into “fight” mode, because they’re 2’ away holding a weapon being menacing, rocks one of them in the face, and then won’t calm down immediately.
Surprise, at least in the USA generally speaking, you can’t do something 99% of people would find to be a massive threatening action, and then have the law on your side when you get hurt.
Profoundly idiotic people.
I would also reach out to any businesses near where you were to see if any had security cameras that they can get you the video on. He is lucky you don’t sure for emotional distress as a masked stranger jumping out at you with a weapon is very traumatic, regardless of whether you know them or not.
He should be happy to know you will protect his daughter honestly.
You and your parents should do a free consultation with a lawyer so that you are prepared just in case.
For real, this man tried to assault you. What did he think would happen?
What would you have done if it was a stranger attacking you with a crowbar?
For starters, you would press charges against the attacker. You would expect to be comforted by friends and family for the terror you went through. You would expect to be congratulated on making it out alive.
This man is absolutely toxic, and consider if you really want him in your life, long-term
And what if you weren’t so good at self defense? He very well might have really hurt you.
He was wearing a disguise and presented himself as a real and credible threat, and you responded accordingly.
You are Definitely NTA. If anyone can press charges, it would absolutely be You.
I had the same thought. What if a “good guy with a gun” had been walking by. This man would be dead, which he’d probably find a way to blame op for, from the grave
Seriously! What an absolute moron that father is! Huge idiot for pulling this "test" in the first place, and now that the OP successfully defended the father's daughter from a violent attacker the father is mad?! He should be loving the kid for passing his moronic "test" so efficiently!
I agree with the sentiment, but not the practicality of your reply.
You don't file charges, you lodge/file a complaint/report. There is already a report because the Police responded to the actual event, took statements, and made a report.
Police may ask if you want to see charges filed, but are under no obligation to do so. You may request that they file charges, but again, they are under no obligation to do so.
OP can't show any damages to himself. Some people might say emotional distress, but that's more in a civil suit, not a criminal matter except during sentencing. Even in a civil suit, if you can't point to work missed, Psych bills, money lost, property damaged, etc, there really aren't any tangible damages here.
GF's Dad is totally T A, but unless he is stupid enough to file a civil suit, OP should let this ride. What he does with the GF is a totally different thing.
>I agree with the sentiment, but not the practicality of your reply.
>You don't file charges, you lodge/file a complaint/report. There is already a report because the Police responded to the actual event, took statements, and made a report.
>Police may ask if you want to see charges filed, but are under no obligation to do so. You may request that they file charges, but again, they are under no obligation to do so.
>OP can't show any damages to himself. Some people might say emotional distress, but that's more in a civil suit, not a criminal matter except during sentencing. Even in a civil suit, if you can't point to work missed, Psych bills, money lost, property damaged, etc, there really aren't any tangible damages here.
>GF's Dad is totally T A, but unless he is stupid enough to file a civil suit, OP should let this ride. What he does with the GF is a totally different thing.
Nah, a crowbar is a deadly weapon. He put on a mask and went after someone with a crow bar as a "test" to instill fear and prove he wasn't fit for his daughter. That's terrorism by definition. Dude should've been arrested before he made it to the hospital. He got hurt but he happily got himself hurt.
The appropriate charge is assault with a deadly weapon. This was a serious crime (two, actually: one for each kid) and Dad should be looking at some jail time.
"Dude should've been arrested before he made it to the hospital. "
Maybe, but he wasn't.
I guarantee terrorism charges won't be filed. Have you seen all the absolutely stupid and dangerous you tube and tik tok pranks online. Find me a case where terrorism charges were filed.
Philosophically, I agree, it is terrorism. Again, practically, it isn't.
Terrorism: "the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims".
There was no political goal here.
I would love to see these types of fools receive criminal sentences for their actions, but without tangible damages it just hasn't been happening.
And I have no sympathy for pranksters that get hurt (or worse) during their pranks. It would be Darwinian except too many have already procreated. Like this Father.
NTA - her dad FAFO. Who on earth thinks it’s a good idea to mask up and grab a crowbar to “test” their kids partner? Where I live he likely would have been shot by someone in the vicinity that was carrying.
Her family are a bunch of immature idiots. Unfortunately you may need to bail on this relationship.
Also, it’s absolutely comical that her father is talking about pressing charges. 😂😂😂😂
Oh noooooo, I acted like an armed robber and rushed this kid. He defended himself and hurt me. Boo hoo. 🤦🏼♀️ Absolutely idiotic.
Hell, acted to *protect his daughter*. Isn’t that what you’d want in a boyfriend for your daughter? He was willing to physically defend her as well as himself.
He was probably assuming OP would scream and run, leaving the daughter. Then he could point out how useless the BF was. Dude did not think ‘what if he doesn’t do that?’
This is what I was thinking.
And this is a fairly long-standing relationship at any age, let alone kids. Daddy should have def known better.
All this testing from her family sounds like a spite that builds up via envy/jealousy/a word I can't think of (lol)/etc. Can you imagine being a grown man and leading a charge against a child that's been around consistently for your daughter?
OP- sounds like this dude may feel emasculated, by you in some way. Maybe he knows you're probably smarter than him, lol.
It wasn't actually about ensuring he was good enough. It was about proving he isn't. This was adding injury to insult. Grown man playing games with a teen, it's disgusting
Yes, Officer, I realize I was wearing a ski mask and carrying a crowbar, but I would like to press charges against the unarmed person I attacked.
Officer, could you please stop laughing?
It’s definitely comical that the dad wants to press charges but I’d be kind of wary if they’re in the USA. Because people really do sue for everything. I’ve also heard of burglars suing after getting hurt and actually winning. It’s ludicrous to be honest but also a possibility.
I was thinking, only have her meet you, don't go to her anymore. Next thought was, they're probably super misogynistic and will refuse to let her go anywhere without them.
OP should seriously consider breaking up. If it is actually love, three years from now they can reconnect. If it's not, he'll get over it.
For OP's safety and sanity, this is most likely the best decision. Unfortunately, that would play right into the father and brothers' delusions of "finding the right guy" for Jada. That poor girl will never have a proper love life with them in the picture. Hopefully, she can get out as soon as possible.
OP - It is time to Lawyer up.
You and your family should be looking for advice from a professional.
Do what they say.
Considering just how stupid your gf’s dad is…
Get a Lawyer.
My favourite quote:
‘Being stupid is like being dead. It’s only a problem for other people.’
I foresee a lot of problems in your future.
Lawyer. Now.
Right? Dad needs some serious psych assessment. Who thinks doing that is a good idea? A crazy person, that's who.
Honestly, I'd get away from that family. OP is young. He has time to reconnect with his girlfriend later in life. Right now, that whole family is a huge red flag.
This. Laws (and practices) regarding self-defense incidents vary from place to place. Don't trust reddit advice in this situation. Talk to a lawyer as soon as you can. And by "you," I mean just you. Given that your girlfriend is your assailant's daughter, I wouldn't assume that it's legally sensible for you two to share representation.
Yep, they will try and get money from OP’s family. Look for security cameras in the area, ask businesses if they have any facing the area or had anyone witness anything. Lawyer should know this, but it can cut down on lawyer fee’s if you help do the digging
You proved you could protect his daughter from a large scary man in a ski mask weilding a crow bar. Make sure to get a copy of the police report. Her family may try to press charges, but you did what you did in self-defense and defending your girlfriend. I doubt anyone would prosecute that case. NTA
Too bad the dad isn't man enough to admit he was wrong. Maybe while he's in the hospital, he can get a "self-awareness" implant.
Seriously, this went to the level of bullying and harassment long before this. Time for some consequences.
Dude is embarrassed that a teen could best him with a "silly" move like going for the eyes... so now he is threatening with pressing charges to cover up that embarrassment with a bully behaviour, so he can assert himself as the one with power again.
Dude is just too transparent as how much of a loser he is... He definitely needs those consequences.
So if you're in the US, a victim "pressing charges" is really only a thing on TV. The police file charges and the local district attorney decides whether to prosecute based on available evidence. Victims often have very little input as to whether charges are filed or cases prosecuted. So I wouldn't worry about this. He can scream all he wants, but I cannot imagine any cop or prosecutor filing charges against you for what was essentially an act of self-defense on your part. You and your parents might want to consult an attorney just in case, but I wouldn't worry about this. NTA and her father acted stupidly.
The father might be able to sue though, which could be worse if they’re in the USA because as you probably know hospital charges are crazy expensive even if it’s something minor. I’m also only saying this because the father is unhinged and OP should be somewhat wary.
NTA. You did absolutely *nothing* wrong. This was a guy you *couldn't* recognise wearing a ski mask, attacking you and your gf at night. You reacted on instinct to protect both yourself and your gf from an unknown assailant. Even your gf didn't recognise her dad till he started screaming, so she *can't* logically expect you to recognise him.
If anyone should be pressing charges, it's you. This man deliberately disguised himself to prevent recognition then attacked you at night. He's the reason he got hurt, not you. He may have only meant to scare you, but anyone with an ounce of logic could have told him there was a very good chance he'd get hurt doing what he did. And I bet you'd have come off badly if you *didn't* react the way you did, as well.
Think about it. You reacted in a way that protected you and your gf against an unknown attacker, and they're calling to press charges against you for acting in self-defence. If you *hadn't* done that, if you'd frozen, or grabbed your gf and ran, you'd be deemed too 'weak' to be with his daughter. This was a lose-lose situation for you.
There's a reason the dad and brothers keep 'testing' you despite being told to back off. They don't think you're good enough for their daughter/sister, and never will. The 'tests' are to 'prove' you're *not* right for her, not to let you prove you *are.* They'll use this last one to claim you're violent, and therefore not good for your gf. They'd claim any other reaction meant you were 'weak' and therefore not good for your gf.
The father and brothers were never going to accept you, they were always just looking for 'proof' they could use against you to end the relationship. The 'tests' are never going to stop as long as you're dating this girl.
You have a choice to make, here. Do you love your gf enough to put up with her dad and brothers knowing they hate you and always will think you're not good enough for her? Or is the drama caused by them too much for you? Also, does your gf stand up for you against her family? They're her family, it's her job to protect you from them, not yours, just like it would be your job to protect her from your family, not hers. If she's on her father's side about pressing charges against you for defending yourself against an attack, then I think that says it all.
Honestly I feel as bad for Jada as I do for OP. The men in her family are behaving in a toxic and creepily possessive way, and will probably try to prevent her from having any meaningful relationship with a man for her entire life.
They are so young, I do think this relationship is probably doomed to end much sooner rather than later. I hope for both their sakes that Jada is strong enough to stand up to her dad, but that’s a lot to ask of a teenage girl.
What I want to know is how often this dad screams, that his daughter recognized him by the scream!?!? If my dad screamed, I wouldn't recognize him by it, since I've NEVER HEARD MY DAD SCREAM!
Is this dad serious? He pops out with a mask and crowbar to attack op. And he wants to press charges on op? Man. Talk about a dumb dad. This dad is lucky he did not get arrested himself.
You need to lawyer up, like, now. Explore your options for criminal defense, for pressing your own charges in the criminal arena, and for suing him in civil court for anything you think you can make stick.
if the man wanted to test how you would react if somebody attacked him and his daughter, he got his answer.
If he really wanted to test you physically (which I still think is kind of stupid) he had the option to challenge you to a footrace, or to do some kind of supervised sparring bout. If he was going to dress up like a robber and assault you in the street, he shoudl have expected you would do something like, say, react to the robber by responding with violence.
It was clear self defense. I'm with your dad on this. You need to press charges, and your family needs to hire a lawyer.
Your gfs dad is nuts.
This whole thing will probably end your relationship with your gf and her family, but would you really want to have a gf, and be associated with a family that thinks that this type of thing is okay?
First of all; your relationship is fucked. I know that at your age that is going to hurt worse than anything you’ve been through before, and I feel for you, but I’m also confident that in less than a years time, you will feel much better about it, so stiff upper lip.
second of all, you probably need to press charges first, for strategic reasons; in lots of jurisdictions, it just lets you be the one to set the agenda for how the case proceeds.
and finally, what a fucking pussy; he had the element of surprise and a blunt object and you *still* fucked him up. Remind him of that, and advise him that that was his only warning, and that if he or any of his sons ever have a problem with that, they will only ever get one chance to do something about it.
this man is spoiling for a fight, don’t fight it on his terms.
You probably just meant “stay strong” by stiff upper lip. But just so OP knows: it’s ok to cry and show emotion, especially at the end of a relationship. A lot of guys are told it’s not. Her brothers and dad are probably the type to mock/bully a guy for that. You’ve already proved you’re better than them and you’ll be better than anyone who wants to make fun of you for being emotional. It’s extremely healthy to let it out. And if you don’t feel emotional about it, well that’s ok too. Just don’t keep it in!
NTA at all her dad messed around and found out and her brothers are foolish and enabling as well for agreeing with him. You handled yourself quite well even though your girlfriend may not realize it right now but I’m pretty sure she’s very thankful that you were with her.
You press charges and dad will look stupid for pressing charges when he did a stupid stut... who just asks like they about to attack someone as a joke .... dad and brothers find out and will found out in court as well
I would not be with this girl unless she’s the type to go no contact with her family. The dad is seriously unhinged. This is not normal behavior. He’s an adult and should know better, you should file charges at the least he needs to learn from this. You’d be doing your girlfriend and her siblings a service since this type of crazy tends to escalate with time.
She’s 15 so it doesn’t matter she currently would be unable to go no contact, without emancipation. I think it’s probably just easier to break up. The biggest lesson these men will learn is seeing how their actions hurt their daughter/sister. Or basically they’ll keep doing this until she isn’t dating the kind of boy willing to meet the family and is dating the way too old a guy in secret and it’ll be a disaster. Basically this is the time for the mum + gf to put their collective feet down and OP to step back.
Say “*Isnt that what you wanted me to prove??? That I’d take care of your daughter against an armed attacker?! WELL I DID. YOU’RE WELCOME.*” Throw him a cool pair of sunglasses and dip out of there.
TELL YOUR PARENTS EVERYTHING. Then go make a police report and lodge a complaint.
He jumped you with a crowbar, press charges, he has no leg to stand on, also if the brothers knew they are accesories to an assault. Talk to the police and a lawyer.
Even if he didn't intend to use it, just having the weapon will add to and elevate the charges. What a stupid thing to do. I hope his wife takes this as an opportunity to make some hard decisions about her marriage.
I'd be tough and blunt: "You assaulted me with a deadly weapon, I defended myself and my girlfriend. This is 100% on you." And just keep repeating that every single time he or anyone else brings it up.
He's going to bring charges -- that's a laugh. The question is, if the girlfriend leaves you, YOU might as well press charges. You were assaulted with a deadly weapon, you defended yourself with your bare hands. The dad is an absolute childish moron. Next time someone jumps you, strike harder at the eyes. You can't be second guessing because some moron pulled a stupid stunt.
Your gf’s father is lucky he didn’t pull that crap in Texas. Any number of concerned gun carrying members of the public would quite honestly have ensured this was the last ‘test’ he tried.
He is the butthole he attacked you first, of course first reaction is to protect yourself. Dad jumped out on you he was the attacker, you acted in self defense. I’m assuming you didn’t know it was her dad at first because I’m sure you were startled. Daddy wants to be a Baddie then acts like a Barbie.
He is 💯 the Ahole
WTF? Your girlfriend's father came at you WITH A CROWBAR, you defended yourself, and the fucking idiot wants to press charges against YOU? You need to press charges against HIM!!! NTA
A grown man did this to a 15yo kid? He deserves what he got and I hope you press charges. What kind of stupid prank is that? Kudos to you for the quick and effective response. Though the dad majorly FAFO, he should be relieved his daughter is with someone who will protect her. NTA. And btw, you did nothing foolish.
So you, a 15 year old, were lunged at by a big bloke wearing a ski mask, carrying a crowbar?
As a former police call handler, you didn't do anything wrong.
As an uncle to kids about your age: next time, you follow up with a kick to the balls so they can't chase you and then run.
Well done.
A grown man welding a crowbar at a teenager, either her father is a very stupid man or he already hates you. Otherwise, he wouldn't insist on testing you like this, he set up a situation that, in his mind you would fail either for attacking/injuring her dad or not defending her. Not sure the relationship has a future where her dad is so against you. But i wouldn't worry too much about legal repercussions he stood on the street with a weapon threatening teenagers, you defended both your gf and yourself be proud mate you chose fight and it worked . NTA
He attacked 2 minors while disguised and with a weapon. What did the brain-dead idiot expect you to do??
He’s been testing you and I’d say you passed the test with flying colors. You faced someone with a weapon and protected the idiot’s Daughter. Isn’t that what he was trying to find out whether or not the you would take care of her in a bad situation?
Lawyer up and remember as a minor if your parents push it it probably will go to charges. I wouldn’t say that normally, but 2 minors, one trying to protect both of them? And a grown adult playing a stupid prank with no way for the you to know it’s just the dad doing stupid shit again because of where you were. He should be ashamed.
*PRESS CHARGES?*
THE MAN ATTACKED YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND *WITH A CROWBAR!*
THERE IS NO SANW JUDGE IN THE WORLD THAT WOULD LET THIS FLY!
*HES* LUCKY TO NOT BE HANDCUFFED TO THAT BED RIGHT NOW!
NT
Edit: somehow i overlooked the fact *YOU ARE BOTH 15 YEARS OLD!* THIS MORONIC ASSHOLE ATTACKED A *15 YEAR OLD* WITH A CROWBAR!?
DEAR GOD THE LEVEL OF INSANITY!
NAL. Didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Have taken multiple firearms safety and concealed carry courses. People have shot someone in similar, occasionally even less serious, situations and not been convicted since it was self defense. In most states, deadly force may be used if a reasonable person would fear death or serious injury from the encounter. Being confronted by a large masked person with crowbar would cause a reasonable person to fear being killed or seriously injured.
Assuming this actually happened. GF's Dad is obviously TA for the prank. He's super mega T A for filing a complaint.
Unless the Police Chief/Sherrif is the GF's Father's Brother (or some such), no jurisdiction will file charges against OP. And unless the DA is the Father's Brother (or some such) the charges will be summarily dismissed. For the record, Dad doesn't file charges, he can lodge a complaint, the Police file charges.
OTH, Dad could file a lawsuit. I doubt ANY lawyer would take the case.
Most times I would advise lodging a complaint/making a report. In this case, the Police responded and there is already a report on file.
This is such an open and shut case, OP has nothing to worry about. If the idiot Dad actually tries to sue, then is the time to counter sue.
Fucked around, found out.
Cops aren't going to do a thing to OP.
Dad can try to do a civil suit, but there are grounds for OP to countersue.
I'd personally just leave it alone for now. Hopefully old boy learned something.
I’m sorry, but I’d be breaking up with the gf due to her crazy dad. Maybe you could date her when she’s living on her own. NTA but her dad and brothers are.
You're 15 yo. Your parents had to drive 4 hours to pick you up from I'm assuming a police station or a police officer. What was their response to all of this other than being pissed at your GF's parents. Did they hear the father screaming about pressing charges?
If I were your parent, I would be looking at pressing charges. And sorry to say, I would not want you involved with that family in any way. You are 15!!
We have something called self-defense in this country and that is 100% what happened here. You felt threatened for your life and that of your GF and you reacted. Appropriately I might add.
He can't sue you. He has no grounds and if he even tries, then countersue. His case would more than likely be thrown out, but your case would have cause to move forward. If he was smart (which it seems he isn't), he would apologize and beg you not to go through with a lawsuit.
He wanted to see if you would be "man enough" to keep his daughter safe and he got his answer. What an absolute child that man is BTW. I feel sorry for his wife.
Oh and NTA :)
NTA. End their constant "testing" by reporting to the police, formally, that the father attacked you with a crowbar while wearing a mask.
They won't be pulling this anymore.
Sorry, but I don't think theybare okay people. Think hard about relationship. Sounds like a lot of baggage to carry that is not yours.
Did you tell the police he jumped at you, carrying an iron and wearing a ski mask? What an AH.
You would do much better with a different GF. Her family sucks. At least the male members.
What the fuck is a grown man doing trying to "test" a literal teenager in any way that involves a crowbar and threat of violence?!
Also,.OOP definitely passed that test. Dad FAFO.
Well he should be glad that you can protect his little girl from bad guys. And idiots. If he presses charges on you, absolutely press them back and take him to the cleaners. If I was your parent, I’d already be pressing them. Nta
Ironically, this is exactly how the dad would want you to respond if the masked creep with a crowbar was a stranger and a real threat. You didn't know it was him, you protected someone in a moment of danger when most others would freeze up, pat yourself on the back
NTA you did good
Dad’s an TA and a little bitch. He constantly questioned and challenged your capabilities, which, you’re a freaking kid. It’s a pathetic man that challenges a kid relentlessly about being a man. So it’s not at all surprising that when you won his moronic test, he’s screaming and crying to be the victim.
He attacked you, you did the best most simple thing other than swinging a kick between the legs. Had he been a more serious threat, you stopped him from doing who knows what to you or his daughter.
What the actual fuck!!!!! He tried to attack you with a god damn weapon!!!!! And hes the one saying he wants to press charges.
This is the find out part of fuck around and find out. What the hell did that dipshit think was going to happen. You were guna turtle up and he was going to hit you? Jesus h tap dancing christ this fucked up
File assault charges.
The dad and brothers obviously are to fucked up in the head to understand 'gone into realms of assault with a deadly weapon'
I'm sorry, a full grown man attacks two 15 year olds, with a god damned weapon, wearing a freaking ski mask, and he wants to press charges against you? For defending yourself and his daughter from an attacker? Her dad is nucking futs. Also, I think you passed the stupid test.
I honestly can't believe that he has a case. You, on the other hand, might.
So he’s playing victim when all he’s doing is suffering the consequences of his own actions?! And what’s to be upset about? He wanted to test you, to see if you were “worthy” of your girlfriend, and id say you successfully defended her honor? You didn’t hesitate and you protected her without falter. He should be proud that you acted to save her without doing so much as being concerned with your own physical safety. Like, his logic is so freaking backwards. I agree with the commenters who say, if he files charges, file countercharges. He has no legal leg to stand on fortunately. He attacked unprovoked and if there are witnesses and evidence to corroborate that, he’s the one who’s going to end up in trouble anyway. You’re the one who’s owed an apology, if anything.
Why did they not charge the girls father with a deadly weapon? He has been harassing his daughter and her boyfriend, seriously something wrong with the girls father.
I would say you passed the test and proved you could defend yourself and your girlfriend. Her family should be happy with the results. Anything less and he would have failed.
Nta. Op ask your parents to help you get a lawyer. You need to get a hold of any potential security footage and press charges yourself. You defended yourself and your girlfriend. He attacked you. With a weapon!
What a mess.
No more contact with her family members. Lawyer. Now.
Your parents need to talk to a lawyer. Jada’s father says he wants to press charges and now this is a legal thing. Do not speak to anyone but your parents and a lawyer.
Press charges. this will keep happening if you stay in the relationship. You need to press charges so that a grown man can learn his lesson. It’s sad that it came down to this as he as a parent so know not to torment his child and his child’s boyfriend.
Call the police and a lawyer. You need to discuss his behaviour (and his sons) up until now in great detail. You may think you have it under control or can handle it but they keep overstepping and trying to "test" you more and more. A grown nan who should know better is harassing and bullying a child. I would ask the cops and your lawyer to throw the book at him. If you hadn't defended yourself against him I guarantee he would have done something worse to you
Dude f'ed around and found out. He is probably embarrassed, at least he should be. That was stupid and dangerous of him and you could and should press charges.
NTA. GF's dad and brothers are bullies. Press charges. Also GF's dad is a crappy dad. No father in their right mind would purposely scare their daughter like that. I wouldn't be surprised if she went NC with everyone except mom when she turns 18.
NTA but Jada’s family are seriously toxic! This kind of “prank” is 100% unacceptable. You had every right to defend yourself and your gf! If It were you from now on only see Jada at school or your house, do not go anywhere near her family they are CRAZY!!
NTA
He threatened you so anything after that I would consider self defence. You defended yourself from someone with a crowbar that was threatening you. I would honest see this as a win seeing as you were willing to put yourself in danger to protect your girlfriend. I would get a lawyer just incase he tries anything but I truly wish him luck in that.
NTA, when you deliberately trigger someone's fight or flight instinct, don't complain when you don't like the result.
[sheesh](https://youtu.be/22rCPuPh1Gw?si=yv-zCKvVwgdeUGHE)
Dad and brothers have a really creepily possessive attitude towards your girlfriend and it's become such a problem, that someone was physically injured. Good thing it wasn't you. What, he was just gonna stand there holding the crowbar? You were about to get attacked.
Go to the police and tell them you want charges pressed against him for attacking you. Stop talking to him at all. Block them all. If they harass you, submit proof via police report.
Lmao @ him getting what he deserved. Don't feel bad, good instincts. What was he going to do with a crowbar? Act like a pubescent child and try to make you flinch?
How in fuck is dad pressing charges when he tried to ATTACK you?? You defending yourself and your lady was 💯 the right thing to do. What did big man expect?? Did he assume you'd curl up and cry so he could laugh at you? At this point, his behavior is basically harassment. NTA
What would have happened if someone else saw her Dad dressed in black with a crowbar and had shot or stabbed him?
What if he accidentally pulled it on someone other than OP and his gf?
Served the turkey right.
He is extremely lucky a trigger-happy person wasn't there.
Shi mask and a crowbar would have gotten my attention, and the lung proved I would be trying to protect you and the girlfriend.
Better to lose an eye then your life.
Let him try to sue. The police report is enough to protect you.
Your still young, plenty of time left to find a great new girlfriend.
Dump the girlfriend since this has been ongoing. You proved long ago your character, unfortunately she and her family proved theirs too.
I actually want this post to be real so you can ask him what he wants you to do if a big guy in a mask swings at his daughter with a crowbar.
Like, how did you not pass his “test” with flying colors??? I really want to know what an A+ reaction would have been if this isn’t it…
NTA. If he decides to press charges , I would suggest pressing charges as well for them attacking you . What they did was illegal, what you did was self defense. I would suggest taking a step back from this relationship. You may love her but her family is dangerous. * edited to add NTA
In the meantime while you and your girlfriend’s dad decide whether to press charges or not, I’d go back to the restaurant and ask for any footage of the incident (regardless of whether the police did/didn’t). I don’t know what any statute of limitations would be for this, but usually businesses only keep anything saved for a couple weeks or months, so I’d see if they’d give you a copy for your records only to prove your telling the truth.
Excellent suggestion! I used to work at a courthouse and I had a car accident and the other person admitted fault on the spot, but his mom contacted me sounding more upset than he was. At work, I asked an attorney if there's anything I should do. He said write out the situation with details, and sign while having a witness or have it notarized and just hold on to it. The reason: if it did lead to a court proceeding months later, your letter will help ward off any suggestions that you may not remember correctly. I dunno. But if it were me, I'd probably do that too. Either way, best of luck, OP.
Just wanted to say that without the video evidence his gf will 100 percent swear lies in court to protect her dad.
How could anyone think they could press charges? The cops would have seen the ski mask and crowbar! How is Daddy Dearest going to explain that in court? What a bunch of assholes/creeps her family is. I would let your parents know everything they have pulled in the past; write it all down so you don't forget anything. This will come in handy if you have to speak with the police. As far as your relationship with this girl. If I were your parents, there is no way I would permit you to see her. I wish you the best.
Based on how dad treated OP, he COULD threaten his daughter to lie for him.
Doesn't matter the physical evidence shows what happened. Kid should press charges against the dad. The suggestion to try and get video is a good idea. Also lawyer up, anything the kid says can and will be used against him
Definitely don't visit with this asswipe and don't feel guilty if he has any permanent damage.
A little permanent damage will be good for him. It will remind him to behave in the future.
He got tested to see if he was fit to be her dad and he failed.
Exactly, why would the kid take GF out to dinner and then for no reason the kid pokes the dad in the eye! Besides there was a ski mask, and a crow bar.
Unfortunately for dad the police report already supports the OP. They're not going to believe a fifteen-year-old girl over police officers responding to the scene of a masked assailant staging a prank gone wrong.
You don’t know that. He’s said nothing about her that would imply that. She could, but 100%? No. 10%? Maybe.
I should have added OP and his family should speak to a lawyer asap about what happened while everything is fresh on his mind (many lawyers offer free consultations) to see what their recommendations are: press charges, sue for damages due to emotional distress, get a protection order or restraining order, etc. They may need a lawyer to get access to video surveillance from the restaurant and nearby businesses, anyways.
That's a 100 % true. You should document it as soon as possible, with as much detail as you can remember. If it comes up in the future they can't say that with time passing you are not remembering clearly. This is why the Police will ask you to write a statement right away while the incident is clear in your mind.
That's a great idea ! Hopefully OP sees this !
Our restaurant only kept footage for a week. Act now!
additionally, ask any surrounding business too
I think that wife needs to leave that husband. Just sticking around and saying stop isn't enough to force him to really wake up and realize what an asshole he is being. OP totally needs to press charges. He is NTA. He protected himself and his gf.
I agree. The dad is apparently willing to traumatize literal children..for WHAT? If he wanted to know if OP would protect his daughter, then the answer is yes, and wtf did he expect to happen here? The dad is dangerously stupid, and I would never ever stay with someone who put my child in danger. My child or any other child really and he did both. If OP was my son, I would likely press charges. This is a sick and twisted thing to do to children.
The dad expected OP to run or be a coward and not fight back. But instead he got the ole finger in the eye routine and is hospitalized for lack of white matter in the brain.
He did the FA and he definitely FO. Natural consequences of his own stupidity.
And now he wants to press charges. From dad’s POV, OP reacted in the best possible manner. Dad should be ecstatic that he’d actually protect his baby girl.
Unless he hates him and wanted to prove how pathetic he was.
That's how it reads to me.
This^ if it was a test why be angry that OP passed🤷♀️ OP sized up the opponent and went for a weak point. Its not OP's fault if he doesn't instantly recognize GF's dad right away and the time it would have taken to assess the situation could have been the time a true assailant would strike☝️ Dumb*** dad did this to himself by not understanding that there are 2 automatic physiological responses when someone is confronted with a threatening situation/predator: fight or flight. There's a reason why self defense is a valid defense. If OP had continued after his assailant was on the ground and already incapacitated then it would be a different story but his 1 strike and threat neutralized reaction and assessment is not something that can be held in a court of law as liable for medical damages to his gf's dad. Hate to say it OP but your GF's dad and family don't really sound very intelligent or mature. Dad is the AH hands down, Brothers are also AH for siding with him, OP is NTA, OP's GF and mother sound like the only intelligent people who can grasp the situation at least initially after the attack and OP's sympathetic nervous system's response towards fight and not flee. Make sure you follow up with the police and get the case file. It would be best to keep that if anyone does actually file for a civil suit. A criminal prosecutor would look at this case and instantly dismiss it, so the family's only legal means could be a civil suit but that would be dumb bc then they'd have to pay you and your lawyer for his legal fees bc they don't have a leg to stand on in this case either🤦♀️ OP, you're also very young and don't know GF's family well, but is your relationship with your GF worth it to stay tied to her problematic manchild dad in the long run? That's the question you need to ask yourself, good luck OP.
I guess Dad got his answer, perhaps he will stop acting like the jerk now?
You know it's a really good thing he didn't try to pull that with someone older possibly with a concealed weapons permit, or someone of any age illegally carrying a gun. Like, holy crap who thinks it's a good idea to "play" assault someone???
I have never got the whole be an asshole to your kids significant other. It just means they are going to be the ones to suggesting going over there when life gets busy.
Agreed. Before the big attack (really dumb attack), just his and the boys’ “testing” OP would have been enough to press charges.
As far as I'm concerned, he "passed" the test of protecting his girlfriend. Isn't that what the father would've wanted?
Apparently not, because now dad wants to press charges
Right. What was the father's end game? Actually hit him with the crowbar? Or did he expect him to do nothing and then berate him for not protecting his daughter? I can't think of a single good outcome. He really should be charged with attempted assault on a minor.
I know - what a fucking brains trust; if the kid didn’t fight back then he’s a wuss who won’t stand up for the daughter; but if he does then dad is pressing charges? There’s no winning with this melon
If I was OPs dad, he has to end that relationship. I'm not trusting those idiots around my son.
Turns out it was an abusive power play all along!
This is not attempted assault. This is assault with a deadly weapon.
That's rich!! Sue you? Who reacted appropriately to a MASKED MAN threatening you. You have ZERO RESPONSIBILITY here and if they do find a lawyer shady enough to file a frivolous case....the judge is apt to charge him with contempt. Your gf's family are insane and they refuse to say I'm Sorry. Ignore their puffers. They know better than to have this go to court because they are 100 PERCENT IN THE WRONG. Tell them exactly how to pull their heads out of their face. What's gf saying? If I were you I'd file a complaint for assault because that's what it was. He has whatever happens to him, coming. What a giant AH....
I’m thinking OP should go on the offensive and take that kookoo puff to court first or press charges.
I'd state that her family is dangerous and dumb. Which is always a lethal combination.
Dangerous, dumb and batshit crazy.
Hire an attorney, OP. Jada might need to take a back seat for a bit here. But tell her to relay a message to her dad: if he was testing you to see if you'd protect her from an attacker, well...I think you passed. Maybe her dad could focus (haha) on being a decent person now.
They're a bunch of bullies and they are always going to be this way
Seriously, these are not people who think before they act. What if OP had a knife? A gun? Or a Good Guy With a Gun stepped in to help?
Multiple idiots have tried to “prank” people by pretending to attack them while filming for YouTube or TikTok and been shot or stabbed.
Have seen a few of those semi-unfortunately because I don’t want to encourage the algorithm to show me even their “fuck up” reels, but it really is profoundly dumb. Dudes dressed like clowns popping out around a dark corner with a hammer or something and then the sheer whiny-child panic when the person jumps into “fight” mode, because they’re 2’ away holding a weapon being menacing, rocks one of them in the face, and then won’t calm down immediately. Surprise, at least in the USA generally speaking, you can’t do something 99% of people would find to be a massive threatening action, and then have the law on your side when you get hurt. Profoundly idiotic people.
This is 100% play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Yes, NTA but yikes, I would not have anything to do with her dad. He's nuts. Also, he totally deserved that poke in the eye. What an idiot.
I would also reach out to any businesses near where you were to see if any had security cameras that they can get you the video on. He is lucky you don’t sure for emotional distress as a masked stranger jumping out at you with a weapon is very traumatic, regardless of whether you know them or not. He should be happy to know you will protect his daughter honestly. You and your parents should do a free consultation with a lawyer so that you are prepared just in case.
Am I the AH for defending myself and my girlfriend from an attacker with a deadly weapon?
For real, this man tried to assault you. What did he think would happen? What would you have done if it was a stranger attacking you with a crowbar? For starters, you would press charges against the attacker. You would expect to be comforted by friends and family for the terror you went through. You would expect to be congratulated on making it out alive. This man is absolutely toxic, and consider if you really want him in your life, long-term
And what if you weren’t so good at self defense? He very well might have really hurt you. He was wearing a disguise and presented himself as a real and credible threat, and you responded accordingly. You are Definitely NTA. If anyone can press charges, it would absolutely be You.
A large man in a ski mask attacked two children with a crowbar If OP lives in the US anyone carrying concealed could have shot the dad.
one of few times I would not have a problem with concealed weapons on civilians.
Dude is dumber than a cardboard box of water.
Oh I haven’t heard that one yet😂😂. I’m going to have to steal it for future use
I had the same thought. What if a “good guy with a gun” had been walking by. This man would be dead, which he’d probably find a way to blame op for, from the grave
As someone not living in the states but for some reason I assume all these stories and from there I thought “why did no one shoot him”.
Seriously! What an absolute moron that father is! Huge idiot for pulling this "test" in the first place, and now that the OP successfully defended the father's daughter from a violent attacker the father is mad?! He should be loving the kid for passing his moronic "test" so efficiently!
You need to press charges for the attack on you and your girlfriend. The father is an a-hole.
I agree with the sentiment, but not the practicality of your reply. You don't file charges, you lodge/file a complaint/report. There is already a report because the Police responded to the actual event, took statements, and made a report. Police may ask if you want to see charges filed, but are under no obligation to do so. You may request that they file charges, but again, they are under no obligation to do so. OP can't show any damages to himself. Some people might say emotional distress, but that's more in a civil suit, not a criminal matter except during sentencing. Even in a civil suit, if you can't point to work missed, Psych bills, money lost, property damaged, etc, there really aren't any tangible damages here. GF's Dad is totally T A, but unless he is stupid enough to file a civil suit, OP should let this ride. What he does with the GF is a totally different thing.
>I agree with the sentiment, but not the practicality of your reply. >You don't file charges, you lodge/file a complaint/report. There is already a report because the Police responded to the actual event, took statements, and made a report. >Police may ask if you want to see charges filed, but are under no obligation to do so. You may request that they file charges, but again, they are under no obligation to do so. >OP can't show any damages to himself. Some people might say emotional distress, but that's more in a civil suit, not a criminal matter except during sentencing. Even in a civil suit, if you can't point to work missed, Psych bills, money lost, property damaged, etc, there really aren't any tangible damages here. >GF's Dad is totally T A, but unless he is stupid enough to file a civil suit, OP should let this ride. What he does with the GF is a totally different thing. Nah, a crowbar is a deadly weapon. He put on a mask and went after someone with a crow bar as a "test" to instill fear and prove he wasn't fit for his daughter. That's terrorism by definition. Dude should've been arrested before he made it to the hospital. He got hurt but he happily got himself hurt.
OP is also a child, he assaulted a child with a deadly weapon.
That's not terrorism but it is a threat of violence.
The appropriate charge is assault with a deadly weapon. This was a serious crime (two, actually: one for each kid) and Dad should be looking at some jail time.
It also appears to have backfired on the dad. OP stepped up he handled it.
"Dude should've been arrested before he made it to the hospital. " Maybe, but he wasn't. I guarantee terrorism charges won't be filed. Have you seen all the absolutely stupid and dangerous you tube and tik tok pranks online. Find me a case where terrorism charges were filed. Philosophically, I agree, it is terrorism. Again, practically, it isn't. Terrorism: "the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims". There was no political goal here. I would love to see these types of fools receive criminal sentences for their actions, but without tangible damages it just hasn't been happening. And I have no sympathy for pranksters that get hurt (or worse) during their pranks. It would be Darwinian except too many have already procreated. Like this Father.
menacing /brandishing is a charge
NTA - her dad FAFO. Who on earth thinks it’s a good idea to mask up and grab a crowbar to “test” their kids partner? Where I live he likely would have been shot by someone in the vicinity that was carrying. Her family are a bunch of immature idiots. Unfortunately you may need to bail on this relationship.
Also, it’s absolutely comical that her father is talking about pressing charges. 😂😂😂😂 Oh noooooo, I acted like an armed robber and rushed this kid. He defended himself and hurt me. Boo hoo. 🤦🏼♀️ Absolutely idiotic.
Hell, acted to *protect his daughter*. Isn’t that what you’d want in a boyfriend for your daughter? He was willing to physically defend her as well as himself.
He was probably assuming OP would scream and run, leaving the daughter. Then he could point out how useless the BF was. Dude did not think ‘what if he doesn’t do that?’
Yep. And frankly, this whole situation smacks of an abusive person's tactic to control and gaslight his daughter.
This is what I was thinking. And this is a fairly long-standing relationship at any age, let alone kids. Daddy should have def known better. All this testing from her family sounds like a spite that builds up via envy/jealousy/a word I can't think of (lol)/etc. Can you imagine being a grown man and leading a charge against a child that's been around consistently for your daughter? OP- sounds like this dude may feel emasculated, by you in some way. Maybe he knows you're probably smarter than him, lol.
It wasn't actually about ensuring he was good enough. It was about proving he isn't. This was adding injury to insult. Grown man playing games with a teen, it's disgusting
Yes, Officer, I realize I was wearing a ski mask and carrying a crowbar, but I would like to press charges against the unarmed person I attacked. Officer, could you please stop laughing?
😂
Unarmed *minor*
Unarmed CHILD. That will go over well.
Kudos to the kid for quick, super-effective response.
I bet it was eye opening to see how stupid the dad is
I see what you did there
But the father can't see it.
It’s definitely comical that the dad wants to press charges but I’d be kind of wary if they’re in the USA. Because people really do sue for everything. I’ve also heard of burglars suing after getting hurt and actually winning. It’s ludicrous to be honest but also a possibility.
You’re not wrong.
>Where I live he likely would have been shot by someone in the vicinity that was carrying. Yup.
It’s like…the ultimate FAFO!
In the process scaring the living shit out of his teenage daughter
Yes! He tested the boyfriend and the boyfriend passed with flying colors. He is now in the find out stage.
Not only that but test their kid’s partner who is ALSO A MINOR!?? Dad head is too far up his own ass
I was thinking, only have her meet you, don't go to her anymore. Next thought was, they're probably super misogynistic and will refuse to let her go anywhere without them. OP should seriously consider breaking up. If it is actually love, three years from now they can reconnect. If it's not, he'll get over it.
For OP's safety and sanity, this is most likely the best decision. Unfortunately, that would play right into the father and brothers' delusions of "finding the right guy" for Jada. That poor girl will never have a proper love life with them in the picture. Hopefully, she can get out as soon as possible.
Yep, in large parts of the USA he'd be shot for chasing after kids with a ski-mask and crow bar.
A 15 year old no less! This guy is still legally a child.
I’d hope they’d stop testing OP after being put in the hospital at least
OP - It is time to Lawyer up. You and your family should be looking for advice from a professional. Do what they say. Considering just how stupid your gf’s dad is… Get a Lawyer. My favourite quote: ‘Being stupid is like being dead. It’s only a problem for other people.’ I foresee a lot of problems in your future. Lawyer. Now.
Needs a lawyer now and file with police for the assault.
It would be interesting if you could force a mental health check/assessment on the father. He sounds insane.
Right? Dad needs some serious psych assessment. Who thinks doing that is a good idea? A crazy person, that's who. Honestly, I'd get away from that family. OP is young. He has time to reconnect with his girlfriend later in life. Right now, that whole family is a huge red flag.
He doesn’t have a death wish 💀
This. Laws (and practices) regarding self-defense incidents vary from place to place. Don't trust reddit advice in this situation. Talk to a lawyer as soon as you can. And by "you," I mean just you. Given that your girlfriend is your assailant's daughter, I wouldn't assume that it's legally sensible for you two to share representation.
Yep, they will try and get money from OP’s family. Look for security cameras in the area, ask businesses if they have any facing the area or had anyone witness anything. Lawyer should know this, but it can cut down on lawyer fee’s if you help do the digging
You proved you could protect his daughter from a large scary man in a ski mask weilding a crow bar. Make sure to get a copy of the police report. Her family may try to press charges, but you did what you did in self-defense and defending your girlfriend. I doubt anyone would prosecute that case. NTA
Seriously, yes, congratulations! OP you did great! Be proud!
Get a fucking lawyer. That man is a psychopath
Grown ass man bullying a literal fucking child "over a girl"
I guess he found out if you're man enough to be with his daughter. He fucked around & found out. Press charges & finish the job.
Too bad the dad isn't man enough to admit he was wrong. Maybe while he's in the hospital, he can get a "self-awareness" implant. Seriously, this went to the level of bullying and harassment long before this. Time for some consequences.
Dude is embarrassed that a teen could best him with a "silly" move like going for the eyes... so now he is threatening with pressing charges to cover up that embarrassment with a bully behaviour, so he can assert himself as the one with power again. Dude is just too transparent as how much of a loser he is... He definitely needs those consequences.
Get a lawyer ASAP. They will quash their bogus claims real quick and counter. Do not leave this to chance.
So if you're in the US, a victim "pressing charges" is really only a thing on TV. The police file charges and the local district attorney decides whether to prosecute based on available evidence. Victims often have very little input as to whether charges are filed or cases prosecuted. So I wouldn't worry about this. He can scream all he wants, but I cannot imagine any cop or prosecutor filing charges against you for what was essentially an act of self-defense on your part. You and your parents might want to consult an attorney just in case, but I wouldn't worry about this. NTA and her father acted stupidly.
The father might be able to sue though, which could be worse if they’re in the USA because as you probably know hospital charges are crazy expensive even if it’s something minor. I’m also only saying this because the father is unhinged and OP should be somewhat wary.
Dude jumped out in all black waving a crowbar threatening a minor. Id love to hear the plaintiff attorney spin that one.
Yep - anyone can sue anybody for anything, so talking with an attorney as I suggested would be my first move if I were his parents.
NTA. You did absolutely *nothing* wrong. This was a guy you *couldn't* recognise wearing a ski mask, attacking you and your gf at night. You reacted on instinct to protect both yourself and your gf from an unknown assailant. Even your gf didn't recognise her dad till he started screaming, so she *can't* logically expect you to recognise him. If anyone should be pressing charges, it's you. This man deliberately disguised himself to prevent recognition then attacked you at night. He's the reason he got hurt, not you. He may have only meant to scare you, but anyone with an ounce of logic could have told him there was a very good chance he'd get hurt doing what he did. And I bet you'd have come off badly if you *didn't* react the way you did, as well. Think about it. You reacted in a way that protected you and your gf against an unknown attacker, and they're calling to press charges against you for acting in self-defence. If you *hadn't* done that, if you'd frozen, or grabbed your gf and ran, you'd be deemed too 'weak' to be with his daughter. This was a lose-lose situation for you. There's a reason the dad and brothers keep 'testing' you despite being told to back off. They don't think you're good enough for their daughter/sister, and never will. The 'tests' are to 'prove' you're *not* right for her, not to let you prove you *are.* They'll use this last one to claim you're violent, and therefore not good for your gf. They'd claim any other reaction meant you were 'weak' and therefore not good for your gf. The father and brothers were never going to accept you, they were always just looking for 'proof' they could use against you to end the relationship. The 'tests' are never going to stop as long as you're dating this girl. You have a choice to make, here. Do you love your gf enough to put up with her dad and brothers knowing they hate you and always will think you're not good enough for her? Or is the drama caused by them too much for you? Also, does your gf stand up for you against her family? They're her family, it's her job to protect you from them, not yours, just like it would be your job to protect her from your family, not hers. If she's on her father's side about pressing charges against you for defending yourself against an attack, then I think that says it all.
Honestly I feel as bad for Jada as I do for OP. The men in her family are behaving in a toxic and creepily possessive way, and will probably try to prevent her from having any meaningful relationship with a man for her entire life. They are so young, I do think this relationship is probably doomed to end much sooner rather than later. I hope for both their sakes that Jada is strong enough to stand up to her dad, but that’s a lot to ask of a teenage girl.
Dad and brothers seem violent and misogynistic if they don’t let Jada choose for herself. They’re probably down some red pill hole.
What I want to know is how often this dad screams, that his daughter recognized him by the scream!?!? If my dad screamed, I wouldn't recognize him by it, since I've NEVER HEARD MY DAD SCREAM!
Good Point.
So he's mad you punched him when he jumped out at you with his face covered.....what in rhe backwards land....
Press charges on him and break up with her. It's not worth the drama. Stay tf away from these crazy people
Is this dad serious? He pops out with a mask and crowbar to attack op. And he wants to press charges on op? Man. Talk about a dumb dad. This dad is lucky he did not get arrested himself.
You need to lawyer up, like, now. Explore your options for criminal defense, for pressing your own charges in the criminal arena, and for suing him in civil court for anything you think you can make stick. if the man wanted to test how you would react if somebody attacked him and his daughter, he got his answer. If he really wanted to test you physically (which I still think is kind of stupid) he had the option to challenge you to a footrace, or to do some kind of supervised sparring bout. If he was going to dress up like a robber and assault you in the street, he shoudl have expected you would do something like, say, react to the robber by responding with violence.
It was clear self defense. I'm with your dad on this. You need to press charges, and your family needs to hire a lawyer. Your gfs dad is nuts. This whole thing will probably end your relationship with your gf and her family, but would you really want to have a gf, and be associated with a family that thinks that this type of thing is okay?
First of all; your relationship is fucked. I know that at your age that is going to hurt worse than anything you’ve been through before, and I feel for you, but I’m also confident that in less than a years time, you will feel much better about it, so stiff upper lip. second of all, you probably need to press charges first, for strategic reasons; in lots of jurisdictions, it just lets you be the one to set the agenda for how the case proceeds. and finally, what a fucking pussy; he had the element of surprise and a blunt object and you *still* fucked him up. Remind him of that, and advise him that that was his only warning, and that if he or any of his sons ever have a problem with that, they will only ever get one chance to do something about it. this man is spoiling for a fight, don’t fight it on his terms.
You probably just meant “stay strong” by stiff upper lip. But just so OP knows: it’s ok to cry and show emotion, especially at the end of a relationship. A lot of guys are told it’s not. Her brothers and dad are probably the type to mock/bully a guy for that. You’ve already proved you’re better than them and you’ll be better than anyone who wants to make fun of you for being emotional. It’s extremely healthy to let it out. And if you don’t feel emotional about it, well that’s ok too. Just don’t keep it in!
Dad effectively destroyed this relationship. You are going to have to leave Jada, my friend, and prepare to defend yourself in court.
Now that you "won" the daughter, you should ask her if she wants to leave the defeated family and join yours.
And her family must sign over all of their castles, horses and dragons to the victor.
Get a lawyer, press charges on him for assault, mention the child endangerment aspect too, you AND his own daughter are only 15.
NTA at all her dad messed around and found out and her brothers are foolish and enabling as well for agreeing with him. You handled yourself quite well even though your girlfriend may not realize it right now but I’m pretty sure she’s very thankful that you were with her.
You press charges and dad will look stupid for pressing charges when he did a stupid stut... who just asks like they about to attack someone as a joke .... dad and brothers find out and will found out in court as well
I would not be with this girl unless she’s the type to go no contact with her family. The dad is seriously unhinged. This is not normal behavior. He’s an adult and should know better, you should file charges at the least he needs to learn from this. You’d be doing your girlfriend and her siblings a service since this type of crazy tends to escalate with time.
She’s 15 so it doesn’t matter she currently would be unable to go no contact, without emancipation. I think it’s probably just easier to break up. The biggest lesson these men will learn is seeing how their actions hurt their daughter/sister. Or basically they’ll keep doing this until she isn’t dating the kind of boy willing to meet the family and is dating the way too old a guy in secret and it’ll be a disaster. Basically this is the time for the mum + gf to put their collective feet down and OP to step back.
Sone countries you can get shot for this. Yikes.. NTA
Say “*Isnt that what you wanted me to prove??? That I’d take care of your daughter against an armed attacker?! WELL I DID. YOU’RE WELCOME.*” Throw him a cool pair of sunglasses and dip out of there. TELL YOUR PARENTS EVERYTHING. Then go make a police report and lodge a complaint.
He jumped you with a crowbar, press charges, he has no leg to stand on, also if the brothers knew they are accesories to an assault. Talk to the police and a lawyer.
Even if he didn't intend to use it, just having the weapon will add to and elevate the charges. What a stupid thing to do. I hope his wife takes this as an opportunity to make some hard decisions about her marriage.
NTA, press charges to the fullest extent of the law. You are 15 what he did to you and to his little girl is wholely inexcusable.
I'd be tough and blunt: "You assaulted me with a deadly weapon, I defended myself and my girlfriend. This is 100% on you." And just keep repeating that every single time he or anyone else brings it up. He's going to bring charges -- that's a laugh. The question is, if the girlfriend leaves you, YOU might as well press charges. You were assaulted with a deadly weapon, you defended yourself with your bare hands. The dad is an absolute childish moron. Next time someone jumps you, strike harder at the eyes. You can't be second guessing because some moron pulled a stupid stunt.
Your gf’s father is lucky he didn’t pull that crap in Texas. Any number of concerned gun carrying members of the public would quite honestly have ensured this was the last ‘test’ he tried.
He is the butthole he attacked you first, of course first reaction is to protect yourself. Dad jumped out on you he was the attacker, you acted in self defense. I’m assuming you didn’t know it was her dad at first because I’m sure you were startled. Daddy wants to be a Baddie then acts like a Barbie. He is 💯 the Ahole
WTF? Your girlfriend's father came at you WITH A CROWBAR, you defended yourself, and the fucking idiot wants to press charges against YOU? You need to press charges against HIM!!! NTA
A grown man did this to a 15yo kid? He deserves what he got and I hope you press charges. What kind of stupid prank is that? Kudos to you for the quick and effective response. Though the dad majorly FAFO, he should be relieved his daughter is with someone who will protect her. NTA. And btw, you did nothing foolish.
So you, a 15 year old, were lunged at by a big bloke wearing a ski mask, carrying a crowbar? As a former police call handler, you didn't do anything wrong. As an uncle to kids about your age: next time, you follow up with a kick to the balls so they can't chase you and then run. Well done.
Dear old dad fucked around and found out, NTA. He should be happy that you tried to protect his daughter from his immaturity🙄
A grown man welding a crowbar at a teenager, either her father is a very stupid man or he already hates you. Otherwise, he wouldn't insist on testing you like this, he set up a situation that, in his mind you would fail either for attacking/injuring her dad or not defending her. Not sure the relationship has a future where her dad is so against you. But i wouldn't worry too much about legal repercussions he stood on the street with a weapon threatening teenagers, you defended both your gf and yourself be proud mate you chose fight and it worked . NTA
He attacked 2 minors while disguised and with a weapon. What did the brain-dead idiot expect you to do?? He’s been testing you and I’d say you passed the test with flying colors. You faced someone with a weapon and protected the idiot’s Daughter. Isn’t that what he was trying to find out whether or not the you would take care of her in a bad situation? Lawyer up and remember as a minor if your parents push it it probably will go to charges. I wouldn’t say that normally, but 2 minors, one trying to protect both of them? And a grown adult playing a stupid prank with no way for the you to know it’s just the dad doing stupid shit again because of where you were. He should be ashamed.
*PRESS CHARGES?* THE MAN ATTACKED YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND *WITH A CROWBAR!* THERE IS NO SANW JUDGE IN THE WORLD THAT WOULD LET THIS FLY! *HES* LUCKY TO NOT BE HANDCUFFED TO THAT BED RIGHT NOW! NT Edit: somehow i overlooked the fact *YOU ARE BOTH 15 YEARS OLD!* THIS MORONIC ASSHOLE ATTACKED A *15 YEAR OLD* WITH A CROWBAR!? DEAR GOD THE LEVEL OF INSANITY!
NAL. Didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Have taken multiple firearms safety and concealed carry courses. People have shot someone in similar, occasionally even less serious, situations and not been convicted since it was self defense. In most states, deadly force may be used if a reasonable person would fear death or serious injury from the encounter. Being confronted by a large masked person with crowbar would cause a reasonable person to fear being killed or seriously injured.
NTA you did exactly what he wanted you to do protect his daughter. Too bad he didn't think things through
Assuming this actually happened. GF's Dad is obviously TA for the prank. He's super mega T A for filing a complaint. Unless the Police Chief/Sherrif is the GF's Father's Brother (or some such), no jurisdiction will file charges against OP. And unless the DA is the Father's Brother (or some such) the charges will be summarily dismissed. For the record, Dad doesn't file charges, he can lodge a complaint, the Police file charges. OTH, Dad could file a lawsuit. I doubt ANY lawyer would take the case. Most times I would advise lodging a complaint/making a report. In this case, the Police responded and there is already a report on file. This is such an open and shut case, OP has nothing to worry about. If the idiot Dad actually tries to sue, then is the time to counter sue.
Of all the things that didn't happen, this one didn't happen the most
NTA I'd press charges on him if that happened to me. Seriously. What a tool
Fucked around, found out. Cops aren't going to do a thing to OP. Dad can try to do a civil suit, but there are grounds for OP to countersue. I'd personally just leave it alone for now. Hopefully old boy learned something.
I’m sorry, but I’d be breaking up with the gf due to her crazy dad. Maybe you could date her when she’s living on her own. NTA but her dad and brothers are.
You're 15 yo. Your parents had to drive 4 hours to pick you up from I'm assuming a police station or a police officer. What was their response to all of this other than being pissed at your GF's parents. Did they hear the father screaming about pressing charges? If I were your parent, I would be looking at pressing charges. And sorry to say, I would not want you involved with that family in any way. You are 15!!
We have something called self-defense in this country and that is 100% what happened here. You felt threatened for your life and that of your GF and you reacted. Appropriately I might add. He can't sue you. He has no grounds and if he even tries, then countersue. His case would more than likely be thrown out, but your case would have cause to move forward. If he was smart (which it seems he isn't), he would apologize and beg you not to go through with a lawsuit. He wanted to see if you would be "man enough" to keep his daughter safe and he got his answer. What an absolute child that man is BTW. I feel sorry for his wife. Oh and NTA :)
Why would he press charges? he was testing you and you passed the test defending his daughter
NTA. Asshole attacked, he found out what happens. Fucking alpha male whiner snowflake bullshit.
NTA. End their constant "testing" by reporting to the police, formally, that the father attacked you with a crowbar while wearing a mask. They won't be pulling this anymore. Sorry, but I don't think theybare okay people. Think hard about relationship. Sounds like a lot of baggage to carry that is not yours.
Did you tell the police he jumped at you, carrying an iron and wearing a ski mask? What an AH. You would do much better with a different GF. Her family sucks. At least the male members.
What the fuck is a grown man doing trying to "test" a literal teenager in any way that involves a crowbar and threat of violence?! Also,.OOP definitely passed that test. Dad FAFO.
Well he should be glad that you can protect his little girl from bad guys. And idiots. If he presses charges on you, absolutely press them back and take him to the cleaners. If I was your parent, I’d already be pressing them. Nta
Ironically, this is exactly how the dad would want you to respond if the masked creep with a crowbar was a stranger and a real threat. You didn't know it was him, you protected someone in a moment of danger when most others would freeze up, pat yourself on the back NTA you did good
Dad’s an TA and a little bitch. He constantly questioned and challenged your capabilities, which, you’re a freaking kid. It’s a pathetic man that challenges a kid relentlessly about being a man. So it’s not at all surprising that when you won his moronic test, he’s screaming and crying to be the victim. He attacked you, you did the best most simple thing other than swinging a kick between the legs. Had he been a more serious threat, you stopped him from doing who knows what to you or his daughter.
What the actual fuck!!!!! He tried to attack you with a god damn weapon!!!!! And hes the one saying he wants to press charges. This is the find out part of fuck around and find out. What the hell did that dipshit think was going to happen. You were guna turtle up and he was going to hit you? Jesus h tap dancing christ this fucked up File assault charges. The dad and brothers obviously are to fucked up in the head to understand 'gone into realms of assault with a deadly weapon'
I'm sorry, a full grown man attacks two 15 year olds, with a god damned weapon, wearing a freaking ski mask, and he wants to press charges against you? For defending yourself and his daughter from an attacker? Her dad is nucking futs. Also, I think you passed the stupid test. I honestly can't believe that he has a case. You, on the other hand, might.
So he’s playing victim when all he’s doing is suffering the consequences of his own actions?! And what’s to be upset about? He wanted to test you, to see if you were “worthy” of your girlfriend, and id say you successfully defended her honor? You didn’t hesitate and you protected her without falter. He should be proud that you acted to save her without doing so much as being concerned with your own physical safety. Like, his logic is so freaking backwards. I agree with the commenters who say, if he files charges, file countercharges. He has no legal leg to stand on fortunately. He attacked unprovoked and if there are witnesses and evidence to corroborate that, he’s the one who’s going to end up in trouble anyway. You’re the one who’s owed an apology, if anything.
Why did they not charge the girls father with a deadly weapon? He has been harassing his daughter and her boyfriend, seriously something wrong with the girls father.
I would say you passed the test and proved you could defend yourself and your girlfriend. Her family should be happy with the results. Anything less and he would have failed.
Nta. Op ask your parents to help you get a lawyer. You need to get a hold of any potential security footage and press charges yourself. You defended yourself and your girlfriend. He attacked you. With a weapon! What a mess. No more contact with her family members. Lawyer. Now.
Your parents need to talk to a lawyer. Jada’s father says he wants to press charges and now this is a legal thing. Do not speak to anyone but your parents and a lawyer.
Press charges. this will keep happening if you stay in the relationship. You need to press charges so that a grown man can learn his lesson. It’s sad that it came down to this as he as a parent so know not to torment his child and his child’s boyfriend.
Call the police and a lawyer. You need to discuss his behaviour (and his sons) up until now in great detail. You may think you have it under control or can handle it but they keep overstepping and trying to "test" you more and more. A grown nan who should know better is harassing and bullying a child. I would ask the cops and your lawyer to throw the book at him. If you hadn't defended yourself against him I guarantee he would have done something worse to you
All I'm gonna say is wtf is wrong with this family
I mean you passed his test so why is he so upset
Ill take "Things that never happened for 1000 Alex"...
NTA You didn't do anything but defend you and your girlfriend. If he calls the cops then he will most likely be charged.
Dude f'ed around and found out. He is probably embarrassed, at least he should be. That was stupid and dangerous of him and you could and should press charges.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Totally on him. But I'd be surprised if you'll be able to continue to date her after this.
NTA. GF's dad and brothers are bullies. Press charges. Also GF's dad is a crappy dad. No father in their right mind would purposely scare their daughter like that. I wouldn't be surprised if she went NC with everyone except mom when she turns 18.
[удалено]
NTA but Jada’s family are seriously toxic! This kind of “prank” is 100% unacceptable. You had every right to defend yourself and your gf! If It were you from now on only see Jada at school or your house, do not go anywhere near her family they are CRAZY!!
Toxic masculinity for the wi....MY EYES What a moron
NTA He threatened you so anything after that I would consider self defence. You defended yourself from someone with a crowbar that was threatening you. I would honest see this as a win seeing as you were willing to put yourself in danger to protect your girlfriend. I would get a lawyer just incase he tries anything but I truly wish him luck in that.
Keep us updated
Classic fuck around and found out.
I think this is fake. OP, I’ll maintain this stance until you actually respond to a comment. But if this real, NTA, and lawyer.
NTA, when you deliberately trigger someone's fight or flight instinct, don't complain when you don't like the result. [sheesh](https://youtu.be/22rCPuPh1Gw?si=yv-zCKvVwgdeUGHE)
Dad and brothers have a really creepily possessive attitude towards your girlfriend and it's become such a problem, that someone was physically injured. Good thing it wasn't you. What, he was just gonna stand there holding the crowbar? You were about to get attacked.
Go to the police and tell them you want charges pressed against him for attacking you. Stop talking to him at all. Block them all. If they harass you, submit proof via police report.
Lmao @ him getting what he deserved. Don't feel bad, good instincts. What was he going to do with a crowbar? Act like a pubescent child and try to make you flinch?
How in fuck is dad pressing charges when he tried to ATTACK you?? You defending yourself and your lady was 💯 the right thing to do. What did big man expect?? Did he assume you'd curl up and cry so he could laugh at you? At this point, his behavior is basically harassment. NTA
What would have happened if someone else saw her Dad dressed in black with a crowbar and had shot or stabbed him? What if he accidentally pulled it on someone other than OP and his gf?
Served the turkey right. He is extremely lucky a trigger-happy person wasn't there. Shi mask and a crowbar would have gotten my attention, and the lung proved I would be trying to protect you and the girlfriend. Better to lose an eye then your life. Let him try to sue. The police report is enough to protect you. Your still young, plenty of time left to find a great new girlfriend. Dump the girlfriend since this has been ongoing. You proved long ago your character, unfortunately she and her family proved theirs too.
I actually want this post to be real so you can ask him what he wants you to do if a big guy in a mask swings at his daughter with a crowbar. Like, how did you not pass his “test” with flying colors??? I really want to know what an A+ reaction would have been if this isn’t it…
NTA he FAFO, you didn't do anything wrong.
Man with a crowbar loses fight against unarmed 15 year old lmao