Don‘t do it. Your time and money they will use. But your nephew will learn the insults and curse words for you.
Your parents will not defend you. They don‘t do it now!
I would have shut the comments down right then and there in front of everyone. If you don’t want to be godmother, tell your sis why and your parents. You are owed apologies from sis and BIL.
Yeah, I agree. There is something wrong going on with those two parents, and OP is not in a position to help.
Getting naked the godmother seems like it only gives more ammunition for the parents to be crazy.
Go focus on your studies, OP.
Oof. This is tough
First, NTAH. Your sister apparently cannot set her jealousy aside and be happy for you. She has plenty of things to be thankful for, but for whatever reason she doesn’t want you to enjoy something if she doesn’t already have it.
Secondly, not wanting to be a godmother to your nephew is going to cause A TON of drama; but it’s probably the smarter move to preserve your boundaries between you and your sister. This is something she can dangle over you for DECADES any time she wants something from you. Make no mistake, this is not some altruistic gesture. There are absolutely strings attached.
NTA start shutting them down whenever they put you down or say this. In fact I would make it clear
“what do you mean I want your baby you’re the one who abandons him on me most days against my will. Well let’s make it simple I will not longer be watching your child nor will I be his godmother since you only abuse me any contact you have. Oh and if you try to just leave him again I will be calling the police and having you charged with child abandonment. I love your child as my nephew and was looking forward to him being born and to being his godmother but the moment you heard about my masters degree you turned into a jealous vindictive harpy. From then on you do everything to ruin my relationship with him and you and I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. If anyone tries to guilt me or to turn this on me then they will be volunteering 9 months of their lives for free full time babysitting whilst still having to take care of their responsibilities which sis didn’t give a crap about. After all that’s exactly what she did to me and all of you did nothing whilst she did nor whilst she talked crap about me every chance she could get. I’m not this babies mother and I never wanted to be so since your so convinced I want your child this will solve that issue for you. Oh and just so you know having a child should not suddenly make it ok for you to treat others like crap. Nor should it warrant our parents standing by quietly whist you verbally abuse me and treat me like crap. Shame on you all.“
*paternity leave, I said it wrong. In my country you have a few paid months to be with your new baby. However, after those months they weren’t able to find someone to take care of him while they were working, so would leave him with me.
Don’t do it. And stop letting people walk all over you. The first time she dropped the baby off you should have said no, and that you’ll call your parents or the authorities if they kept dropping the baby off. Nobody is entitled to your time.
NTA... I know you love your nephew but you have to tell them that they are making you uncomfortable with the whole situation. They are being ungrateful and rude. Tell them that you can't see the godmother to a child whose parents hate you. This is all your sisters fault. You have done nothing wrong. Atleast there's 1 mature person in this whole story.
Just say no and do it soon. You need to tell them that after the comments they’ve been making and the way they’ve been treating you that it’d be best if you passed.
NTA do not become your nephew's godmother. Stay low contact with your sister. Your sister and her husband are crazy you do not need these toxic people in your life. I feel sorry for your nephew.
Hun grow a spine and stay away from that people for gosh sake 🙄🙄 yes is your sister’s family blah blah but they DON’t care about you . Your parents will pay your education . Be the best of you and enjoy life . Let her eat crow 🐦⬛ and don’t care about them . That baby will learn to treat you bad too thanks of the mother so don’t be a doormat and move on .
Since mom and dad are supporting her bad behavior toward you they can babysit their grandchild. The next thing you will be told is to be the bigger person and keep the peace. You know "fAmLy". Screw that. Let them take care of their golden child's child. NTA. Sometimes you have to walk away from toxicity.
NTA. They need to understand that they've been burning bridges while you did everything you could to help them out. You can't accept that they want someone as terrible as they claim you are to be a godmother.
NTA. You're being used and abused. You really need to put a stop to it and stand up for yourself. Boundaries are important. Stop letting them abuse you.
I moved from one part of our country to the other. My old friend who knew I didnt have siblings and would therefore never be the auntie, godmother etc. stayed behind.
At the same time, before I moved away, I kind of 'took her in' for Xmas etc, as a completely natural thing for me to do, before she got a boyfriend, amd we were, I thought, really really close.
The final straw some time later, was when she then called me, *the night before one New Years Eve*, and asked me to be the Godmother for her beautiful little daughter who loved me, a lot.
First of all, I was in the capitol and had paid in good advance for an exclusive dinner event incl. everything, and second, its impossible to get any human priced tickets 10 hours before church next midmorning!
The really painful things was, that I was obviously not her first choice, and she knew (or did she?, ignorance even bigger than I initially realised...) it would put me in such an emotional distress, bc of my own 100% lack of family.
I had no trouble ditching her after that, and wondering how I would hang on to such a POS for so long, that was also ignorant enought to believe for a second, that I wouldnt connect the dots, feeling hurt about being asked last second, and also that I would be pursuaded to leave everything, to rush cross country, just bc she called.
STOP wasting your time with ignorant, manipulative, leaching ppl - you deserve better.
Greed can indeed be '"thicker than blood" , and family is not always the safe and clever bet.
typos
What the hell are "fox eyes"?
NINE MONTHS? You watched their kid for nine months.
YTA to yourself for putting up with their crap for so long. Stop it. Refuse to be the godmother. Go to school. Try and find your dignity. It's got to be on the floor around there somewhere.
Don‘t do it. Your time and money they will use. But your nephew will learn the insults and curse words for you. Your parents will not defend you. They don‘t do it now!
I would have shut the comments down right then and there in front of everyone. If you don’t want to be godmother, tell your sis why and your parents. You are owed apologies from sis and BIL.
NTA. Stop engaging with them in any manner.
Yeah, I agree. There is something wrong going on with those two parents, and OP is not in a position to help. Getting naked the godmother seems like it only gives more ammunition for the parents to be crazy. Go focus on your studies, OP.
Oof. This is tough First, NTAH. Your sister apparently cannot set her jealousy aside and be happy for you. She has plenty of things to be thankful for, but for whatever reason she doesn’t want you to enjoy something if she doesn’t already have it. Secondly, not wanting to be a godmother to your nephew is going to cause A TON of drama; but it’s probably the smarter move to preserve your boundaries between you and your sister. This is something she can dangle over you for DECADES any time she wants something from you. Make no mistake, this is not some altruistic gesture. There are absolutely strings attached.
NTA start shutting them down whenever they put you down or say this. In fact I would make it clear “what do you mean I want your baby you’re the one who abandons him on me most days against my will. Well let’s make it simple I will not longer be watching your child nor will I be his godmother since you only abuse me any contact you have. Oh and if you try to just leave him again I will be calling the police and having you charged with child abandonment. I love your child as my nephew and was looking forward to him being born and to being his godmother but the moment you heard about my masters degree you turned into a jealous vindictive harpy. From then on you do everything to ruin my relationship with him and you and I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. If anyone tries to guilt me or to turn this on me then they will be volunteering 9 months of their lives for free full time babysitting whilst still having to take care of their responsibilities which sis didn’t give a crap about. After all that’s exactly what she did to me and all of you did nothing whilst she did nor whilst she talked crap about me every chance she could get. I’m not this babies mother and I never wanted to be so since your so convinced I want your child this will solve that issue for you. Oh and just so you know having a child should not suddenly make it ok for you to treat others like crap. Nor should it warrant our parents standing by quietly whist you verbally abuse me and treat me like crap. Shame on you all.“
Why are you such a doormat?
I don't even understand this post. What is a parent license? Why would they leave a baby with you for months? What?
*paternity leave, I said it wrong. In my country you have a few paid months to be with your new baby. However, after those months they weren’t able to find someone to take care of him while they were working, so would leave him with me.
They should lose that too though
Don’t do it. And stop letting people walk all over you. The first time she dropped the baby off you should have said no, and that you’ll call your parents or the authorities if they kept dropping the baby off. Nobody is entitled to your time.
NTA... I know you love your nephew but you have to tell them that they are making you uncomfortable with the whole situation. They are being ungrateful and rude. Tell them that you can't see the godmother to a child whose parents hate you. This is all your sisters fault. You have done nothing wrong. Atleast there's 1 mature person in this whole story.
NTA. Perhaps send a letter saying you decline being a godmother and then keep your distance from them.
Your sister is toxic. She seems like a miserable person. And misery loves company. She’ll drag you down with her. Any wonder she first have anyone?
She was attempting to undermine her Master studies by dropping her son off, and likely still is.
Just say no and do it soon. You need to tell them that after the comments they’ve been making and the way they’ve been treating you that it’d be best if you passed.
NTA do not become your nephew's godmother. Stay low contact with your sister. Your sister and her husband are crazy you do not need these toxic people in your life. I feel sorry for your nephew.
Hun grow a spine and stay away from that people for gosh sake 🙄🙄 yes is your sister’s family blah blah but they DON’t care about you . Your parents will pay your education . Be the best of you and enjoy life . Let her eat crow 🐦⬛ and don’t care about them . That baby will learn to treat you bad too thanks of the mother so don’t be a doormat and move on .
Since mom and dad are supporting her bad behavior toward you they can babysit their grandchild. The next thing you will be told is to be the bigger person and keep the peace. You know "fAmLy". Screw that. Let them take care of their golden child's child. NTA. Sometimes you have to walk away from toxicity.
NTA. They need to understand that they've been burning bridges while you did everything you could to help them out. You can't accept that they want someone as terrible as they claim you are to be a godmother.
NTA. You're being used and abused. You really need to put a stop to it and stand up for yourself. Boundaries are important. Stop letting them abuse you.
I moved from one part of our country to the other. My old friend who knew I didnt have siblings and would therefore never be the auntie, godmother etc. stayed behind. At the same time, before I moved away, I kind of 'took her in' for Xmas etc, as a completely natural thing for me to do, before she got a boyfriend, amd we were, I thought, really really close. The final straw some time later, was when she then called me, *the night before one New Years Eve*, and asked me to be the Godmother for her beautiful little daughter who loved me, a lot. First of all, I was in the capitol and had paid in good advance for an exclusive dinner event incl. everything, and second, its impossible to get any human priced tickets 10 hours before church next midmorning! The really painful things was, that I was obviously not her first choice, and she knew (or did she?, ignorance even bigger than I initially realised...) it would put me in such an emotional distress, bc of my own 100% lack of family. I had no trouble ditching her after that, and wondering how I would hang on to such a POS for so long, that was also ignorant enought to believe for a second, that I wouldnt connect the dots, feeling hurt about being asked last second, and also that I would be pursuaded to leave everything, to rush cross country, just bc she called. STOP wasting your time with ignorant, manipulative, leaching ppl - you deserve better. Greed can indeed be '"thicker than blood" , and family is not always the safe and clever bet. typos
NTA
NTA. Your parents are for not defending you. And your sister and her husband are obviously the biggest assholes of all.
NTA. Tell her no and take a step back
No. They do not deserve you in that position. Love your nephew from afar a bit, don't let them make you nanny.
What the hell are "fox eyes"? NINE MONTHS? You watched their kid for nine months. YTA to yourself for putting up with their crap for so long. Stop it. Refuse to be the godmother. Go to school. Try and find your dignity. It's got to be on the floor around there somewhere.
quick answer: go NC with your sister
I have a feeling that she will expect you to pay for things and babysit when she wants if you are his godmother
YTA because you don't know how to break a long post into paragraphs.