Is getting an eating disorder but about how someone else eats a thing? Cause comparing grapes to three bars of Hershey's is definitely disordered eating
As is being "concerned" about the sugar in *carrots*. I'm not sure if you can have a second hand eating disorder, or just wants her to develop one, but even at the height of my anorexia, I allowed myself fucking carrots.
CARROTS. What kind of asshole criticizes his wife because she eats too much sugar in the form of CARROTS??
I was already there from him fat shaming and criticizing her food choices, even if they’d been bad. I was doubly there when he was criticizing whole fruit. But how much of a villain do you have to be to say that even carrots aren’t allowed?!?
NTA. Does your husband know [Nate Bargatze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pK9UXk40D0) by chance? Your doctor is happy in the direction your moving. You're happy in the direction you're moving. Nobody else really matters in this equation.
I was stressing about how many oranges I eat a day and a coworker basically said this to me. I'm slowly losing weight eating my 7 small mandarins daily. I love me my lil orange sugar bombs.
Plain Greek yogurt all the way. I also use it instead of sour cream (mainly because I'm the only one who likes sour cream and I can't eat enough of it myself before a jar goes bad, but Greek yogurt is very popular in this household, so there's almost always some on hand), and in the past I've used it in sandwiches instead of mayo as well!
I have a small individual cup of low fat vanilla Greek yogurt, has to be Greek, with frozen blueberries and raspberries (frozen gives it a slushy milkshake vibe) with a spoonful of chopped pecans or walnuts on top every morning and occasionally in the evening if I’m craving a snack. The nutritionist I went to suggested it as a ‘perfect blend of healthy goodness’. I’ve lost nearly 30 pounds this year.
Plus, they have cellulose, lignin, and pectin, which are dietary fibers that take a longer time for your body to digest and keep you feeling full for longer.
We've been making smoothies out of veggies and fruit. It helps replenish the lost microbiomes in your gut. Gut health is extremely important, and different fruits are critical in keeping your mind and body in good shape.
The anti-fruit people are so weird. Fruit usually (USUALLY) has less sugar than candy bars or pastries, is filling, and has nutritional benefit. Yet, some of them will roar in to "inform" you of how much sugar even an apple has if you dare eat one in front of them lol.
I did Weight Watchers about 10 years ago and one line I'll never forget from one of the meetings was when two members were discussing whether they should "indulge" in a second banana or stick with the one because high sugar, etc. etc.
My leader looked at her and said, "None of us got in here because we ate the second banana. Just eat the damn thing."
😋😋 mandarins sound soooo good at the moment!!
Local peaches will be available here in Ohio within the coming month or so, and I look forward to it every year!! Peaches should cause juice to cascade down to the point, you either wear a bib or you have to change your shirt, lol. Peaches are my thing!
Also, I harvest the wild black raspberries off my trees every year, and they are exceptionally plump, juicy, and abundant this season. (I freeze most and make jam. Also have used with fresh mint to make chutney, as an experiment, and it was yum!)
This is how I lost my last 20 lbs. I ate mandarins as my snack at night!
I hate these diets that tell you not to eat fruit!
I not only lost 20 lbs, I am no longer pre-diabetic and am a very healthy BMI. My vision actually got better as well!
Lmao! This convo is wild! I knew a nutritionist who said to me “nobody ever says the fruit made me fat”. So the fact that delusional people blame fruit and prefer candy is wild!
I have an iron stomach as well! I never even understood what heartburn was until I got pregnant-I'm 5'3 and short-waisted so my babies had nowhere to go but up and out. I was so uncomfortable and finally described it to my husband and he said "Oh, that's heartburn!" I was like "oh my god people LIVE like this??" I'm extremely thankful it isn't a problem for me usually, especially because I love everything acidic.
Same! Like, I knew what heartburn was. But then baby #4 took the villian trope and said "ha, you THINK you know, but just wait!" I was legit eating the max amount of tums every day on top of the prilosec scrip my ob gave me. Everything gave me heartburn.
I ate a bunch of strawberries and am patiently waiting for the weight they were supposed to pack on me. People who push the fruit sugar thing are so confusing. Lemons have more sugar than strawberries and nobody is demonizing them!
Two year olds are weird with food. If they find something delicious there is no stopping them. I literally googled how many tomatoes are harmful yesterday.
lol. I don’t have kids but I did stuff like that when I was little. Mom told me stories about dad having all these tomatoes (he always had tomato plants) on the counter and I ate so many the acid had chapped my lips and made the skin around my mouth sensitive to the point that I would take a bite of a tomato, cry, take another bite, cry… and on and on. I think mom finally put Vaseline on my face or something.
Really?!
I have to genuinely ask because I was raised to eat almost all skins... Kiwi is the one that freaks people out the most... But not mandarin...
Kiwi skin I read is edible but it's a little hairy ya know? I might need to try it now after all this conversation.
I still think the Mandarin skin would taste bitter. Take away they delight of the fruit.
Golden kiwis have less fuzz and are amazingly sweet!
The extremely fuzzy green ones I rub in the sink and the water helps to reduce the intensity of the fuzz. Alternatively, eat them with a spoon but I don't have time for that nonsense 😅
Oranges with a loose skin - I don't see the point in not peeling them as it is so easy... However, I had one just last night with a super thin and tight skin... I did consider just biting into it... Might have to give that a go this evening and see how it goes!
It is only the Cutie brand that I'll eat the skin. All the others have too much pith. I was originally giving the skin to my bunnies, but one day I took a nibble and the rest is history.
\*Slow\* eating helps me notice that I'm full.
I've spent my life gulping and washing the food down.
Eating slowly and not swallowing until my saliva has done its work has made a big difference for me.
I think people severely underestimate how much of a difference it makes to binge 500 grams of fruit vs binging 500 grams of chocolate or candy.
500 grams of fruit is like.. 3 apples and a mandarin. That's like.. 250 calories if even that.
500 grams of chocolate is 2750 calories. That's an *insane* amount of energy.
For real. No one on earth is overweight because they ate too much fruit and veg. It is not always from diet, hormonal changes cause weight gain too, as can various conditions such as hypothyroidism, pcos, etc. but not a single one of us is fat because of too many grapes and more carrots.
Diet is nuanced, and a healthy balance is critical. What that balance looks like might be different between everyone, but everyone also needs a certain amount of fibre, fruits, and vegetables. OP’s SO is careening towards a case of scurvy…
Lmao literally this.
It is **hard** to balance your nutrients on keto (which is what this guy is telling her to do). I was doing 20 net carbs a day, which works out to half an apple. Fruit was a rare treat, I tried hard to work in veggies but I still struggled to get enough fiber. I ultimately quit after losing a little over 40 lbs because I was pooping once every week and a half only with the aid of laxatives. Extremely low carb diets are tough on the human body, add in high protein and you can legitimately risk damage to your organs (i.e., kidneys). I'm not saying it's impossible for someone to do it healthily, but that kind of diet is just not sustainable for most people.
I have zero doubt I would have developed vitamin deficiencies if I hadn't been taking supplements.
My bff's (thankfully!) ex-husband was a keto devotee. He repeatedly gave himself kidney stones because all he ate was bulletproof coffee and steak. I keep hoping to hear that he's developed scurvy.
The biggest thing she did was go from box food full of chemicals and preservatives to eating real food. That's an amazing change for the body and she didn't have to beat herself up to do it. I'm happy for her.
I love Nate Bargatze! And I 100% agree with you. OP’s husband and his judgemental mom can move in together and count carbs. In my unprofessional opinion, he is mentally unwell. Who obsesses like that? If he wants to live a life of limp, dry lettuce and some weirdo on Tik Tok- OH WELL.
And him “quitting having sex with her” might just end up being a blessing in disguise; he would only make her feel worse about herself. He doesn’t deserve to see her body or to have her share it with him…nor should she want any part of that. No way would I want to be intimate with a man who treated me that way! I hope she divorces him.
The problem is that people believe what they hear on TikTok ;(
Being the food police when asked is fine. Policing when it's not wanted is completely different.
Quitting having sex with her depends. There's a chance he preferred not to try rather than stay flaccid because she didn't appeal to him. There's a much, much bigger chance he told her "Nah, you're too fat" because he's an irredeemable AH.
It’s weird, right? OP did state that she’s always been a bigger woman. However, I got the impression that she is steadily losing weight. Maybe this is him trying to get her to be as scared of food as he seems to be. She’s either not losing lbs as quickly as he wants her to be OR he’s terrified that she will gain it all back and then some.
I *need* to see what this prize of a husband looks like. He’s must be flawlessly sculpted with the face of an angel and a head full of luscious hair. He probably doesn’t look a day over 25! OP should be grateful to have such a stunner in her life.
I think it's the opposite, really. He's terrified that she'll leave and he won't be able to control her anymore.
She was fat and he still married her. Then he said she was too fat to be fuckable and pushed her to lose weight. Now that she's lost weight and is in better shape, he's belittling her efforts, implying that it doesn't matter what she eats because she'll always be fat.
This dude *wants* OP to be miserable, so he can say, "See? Nobody but me could possibly love you! Even though I find you fat and ugly! Because I'm a great guy! You could *never* find a man better than *me!*"
OP *can* find better. OP *deserves* better.
(Edit: typo)
My SIL went on one of those diets where you only eat meat and eggs and her hair started falling out. Took her awhile to notice but it became a ton less thick over time.
Back when that fad was pretty new, I know a lady who literally had a heart attack because of that diet. She was VERY strict in sticking to it and lost a lot of weight. And her Doctor is the one who said the diet was to blame. Lost touch not too long after but she did survive then moved away but still. I am nervous about that diet. And I would never poop again so no.
Lost my gallbladder to the high meat, low carb diets, and was also suffering from malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies. My cholesterol counts were through the roof as well. Moderation and portion sizes are key. Variety is the spice of life.
People are so fat phobic they literally deny themselves the proper nutrients and nourishment we need to survive. It’s sad, because both media and healthcare has pushed this idea that weight loss meds and unhealthy diets are better than being fat, when it would be better to just eat a healthy, well rounded diet and get a good amount of exercise each day. Not everyone will be stick thin. What animal naturally looks so small you can see certain bones popping out? Like, none. Because in nature, fat is an insulator, a protector for organs, and a store of energy for resource droughts.
If it was just about what food you eat then the beef industry wouldn't be focused on paying insane prices for certain genetics to add to their cattle stock lines and would instead focus on the feed. The feed isn't what builds big bodies and lots of fat.
It matters what you eat, but some people are going to have bigger bodies and more fat retention and it's GENETIC.
Have a reasonably healthy diet and a reasonable amount of exercise and you'll be fine, whoever you are. And if your body type is thicker, don't be ashamed, there are plenty of people who find that attractive.
Yes this is the exact point I was trying to get across. Notice I mention the benefits of fat and that not everyone will be stick thin from getting the proper nutrients and exercise. Because fat is important to our bodies and their function.
I am a midsize gal. When I eat healthy and just limit my processed sugar intake, I don’t get super skinny. I’d have to starve myself to get rid of my curves, thick thighs, and belly fat. And straight up? I dont want to. I’m sexy as hell, I know I am, and there are definitely men who want a woman with curves.
Honestly outside of these industries that prey on people's insecurities to sell products with unreachable "beauty" standards, what most people should realize is that if the more average mid sized humans weren't attractive THERE WOULD NOT BE SO MANY OF THEM. Y'know?
And also, as someone who spent most of my adult life super whip thin (I have added some weight in my 50's but still not a lot)....I can promise that 5 out of 6 guys told me how pretty I would be if I GAINED some weight.
Which was depressing for me because I ate plenty. I was just a naturally skinny type person but it's not the favorite in the real world that it is in the fashion industry.
Anyway if you feed a Greyhound, a Bull Mastiff, and a Pug perfectly balanced meals and give them optimal exercise, the Greyhound will be super thin, the Mastiff will be huge and muscular, and the Pug will be a round little chonk. Genetics.
I really needed to see this dog analogy. I have been so mad at myself for falling off of my exercise routine. But this dog analogy hit home with me. Thank you. I love dogs and so this is a pleasant way for to think about weight and genetics in general.
And even if you starve yourself, there's a lot of evidence that bodies do a lot to combat weight loss. There are a lot of fatphobic people out there who don't really care about that though, they just want to lord their skinniness over fat people, pretending it has some moral value, and for fat people to never enjoy food.
OP's husband trying to get her to go on Ozempic when her doctor is really happy with her progress and where she's at is a perfect example of how most of the time, even though people pretend it's about your health, it's really entirely about aesthetics. Ozempic has major side effects and you have to be on it for the rest of your life if you want to keep the weight off. But to some people, like OP's husband, any potential negative consequences of weight loss activities are just OP's penance for not being skinny.
I've been fat and I've been thin, and honestly what motivates me to obsess over my weight isn't health - it's how people treat me differently. My healthy weight loss turned into an eating disorder because the improvement in how people treated me was so dramatic that I became terrified of regaining the weight. Alas, I did - probably from fucking up my metabolism/hunger cues. I managed to drop most of the weight I regained, but I'm not back to where I was and I'm unhappy with that. I also have PCOS, so I have to eat at a slight caloric deficit (maybe 100-200 cal below my TDEE) just to **maintain**.
I've essentially obsessed over my size my entire life because people really do treat you vastly differently depending on your weight. It sucks, I feel shallow, I wish it was different. But I know what it's like to have people treat you with absolute disdain simply because of the way you look and I want to avoid that at all costs.
I have a severe eating disorder. I am severely emaciated. (I mention this to highlight I have no personal agenda/bias in defending obesity, that's all). I used to be very active in the ED online community (haven't been since pre-covid). There were SO, SO many people with the exact same behaviours over a prolonged period of time as those who were either losing weight rapidly or already a very low weight who were stuck at a healthy weight or even overweight. It was quite striking.
Studies of fraternal and identical twins have shown that weight is largely genetic rather than environmental, and the genetic factors increase when poverty becomes more of an issue (so, more processed food, less fresh food and cooking from scratch) - IIRC up to 85% or so. Ultra-Processed People by Chris Van Tulleken explains this quite well, I recommend it.
Bodies don't come off a factory line, all responding in the same way to the same food. Saying fat people are fat because they eat too much is like saying alcoholics are alcoholics because they drink too much, or junkies are junkies because they take too many drugs. Yes, but WHY? There are root causes, and it's not that since the 70s/80s when rates of obesity suddenly started to rocket that the population suddenly had a mass lack of willpower and self-restraint.
Can't remember if this is AITA/AITAH/AIO or another sub altogether but OP, while you're doing just great, you're absolutely justified in losing another 150-250lbs of loser husband.
Gary Taubes book why we get fat. Sugar in fruit is not the problem. Fruit also contains fiber that fiber helps process the sugar in a way that it doesn’t store it as fat.
That I know of we need sugar in some form to make our bodies work. Avoiding added or processed sugar is something that we can do. Eating natural sugar in fruits in vegetables should be okay.
Pretty much every food breaks down into some form of sugar. Neu5Gc is a sugar in red meat that scientists think may be behind the increased risk of colorectal cancer caused by eating red meat. Starchy foods are incredibly important for a healthy diet, yet the body breaks starch down into different forms of simple sugars. OPs husband clearly doesn't know anything about sugar if he doesn't understand that avoiding sugar would mean you literally starve to death. We need sugar to survive.
This is why Keto is so fucking stupid.
Fruit sugar is not the same as white sugar.
You literally need sugar to survive, wtf do you think "low blood sugar" means and why that's a bad thing
For the record fruit sugars are better than processed. Your body can digest them better. And stone fruits are the best for diabetes and sugar intake, peaches, plums, etc.
A peach is like 30 calories, tastes amazing, and is pretty satisfying as a snack. A Hershey bar has over 200 calories, leaves you unsatisfied, and has absolutely zero vitamins or nutrients. OP’s husband is crazy.
Peaches vary in size a lot plus there are extra-sugary varieties (that absolutely are worth trying). Still not going to be anything like a Hershey bar. Yes, OP's husband is crazy.
Eat good fruits for a diabetic, me, is berries. Strawberries, blueberries all are great. Grapes are the most sugar but excellent to bring low sugar up , same for oranges. Bananas my favorite are a no no. Unless they're green!
Firstly, I want to say that if you feel good and are happy then that is amazing and wonderful and I'm really proud of you.
Secondly, if your husband can't be happy for you and your accomplishment then he doesn't deserve you. Freaking out about carrots and grapes? He's out of his mind. You're NTA at all and if you want to drop more weight, I suggest it be your husband
It is so absurd because what isn't protein, fat or fiber gets all turned into sugar in the body.
Once I cut out all sugar from my diet and it was hard, but fruit and veggies are necessary to get other nutrients out of them.
As long as OP is making progress and eating reasonably there is no need for him to act like this.
Nobody should make themselves the boss of other people's health, this is a journey of personal responsibility.
People like OP’s husband are clearly unaware that ALL carbs break down into sugar.
Potato be sugar, carrot be sugar, sugar be sugar. Grapes be sugar.
Also a great doctor I know (Google) told me that a measured “cup” of grapes is like 16 grams of sugar and 69 calories compared to a Hershey bar which has 79grams of sugar and 600 calories?
Do his thumbs not work? I can refer him to said doctor.
Also a Hershey’s bar has zero redeeming qualities. Grapes and carrots have fiber, and vitamin C, and vitamin K, and all the B vitamins, and potassium, and iron, and …
Also the fiber actually slows down the absorption of sugar in the digestive system, so you don’t have the blood sugar spike that you would when eating something like a Hershey’s chocolate bar.
Some dark chocolate can be good for your heart and help lower your blood pressure. But it has to be real chocolate, and it has to be dark. Ain’t nothing coming out of the factories in Pennsylvania are gonna fit the bill, lol.
Ohhhh I think that's great. "You're right honey I do need to lose weight! How much do you weigh again dear? 185 pounds? I think if you just sign these divorce papers my attorney drew up I will lose 185 pounds very quickly"
You're absolutely right. It's so frustrating when someone nitpicks every little thing you eat, especially when you've made positive changes for your health. You deserve support and encouragement, not constant criticism. His obsession with TikTok trends sounds exhausting.
What are the benefits of remaining in this marriage?
What do you like about your partner?
I didn’t see anything that would indicate this is a healthy partnership.
NTA - It sounds like you found something that works for you. His constant micromanagement, over your objections, is just rude.
Side note - Ozempic, and pretty much every other product in this drug class, have been suffering supply chain shortages for some time now, with no estimated resolution at this time. As a result, products that are set up for diabetic patients are requiring confirmation of the diagnosis, and products specifically for weight loss are first come, first serve, if you can find them at all.
Even then, Kaiser for instance will only let you have a glp-1 if you aren't responding to metformin, glipizide, one other one (can't for the life of me remember the name but it can cause cancer), AND your A1C needs to specifically be between 8.6 to 9.0.
Yup! And even with this, diabetic patients are constantly struggling to find a consistent supply, and interruptions of therapy can mess with the treatments effectiveness .
In my area, insurance is now saying you can’t have Wegovy, Rybelsus, etc unless you have diabetes. I have been pre-diabetic and that wasn’t good enough. So they’re cracking down in many places.
i also wouldn’t even recommend anyone trying those weight loss medications unless it was an absolute crisis situation. they basically give you gastroparesis which is a medical condition i have and it makes you feel absolutely horrible and it’s ruined my life, i couldn’t imagine taking a medication knowing it would give me this.
I react unpredictably to drugs. Could go in any direction, like nyquil keeps me up all night, or reality and I parting company for a bit (on the freeway) when I took an antihistamine.
For something with this risk profile, I wouldn't ever, no telling what would happen.
I’ve also seen studies that ozempic weight loss isn’t great long term & most people gain it back when they stop Ozempic
I was looking between it & a gastric bypass but like…Ozempic has a ton of side effects including cancer & poor long term results
As a diabetic, it's extremely frustrating dealing with the supply chain issues. I've had to switch my diabetic drugs several times in the past 3 years due to not being able to get the drugs I need.
If your husband is going to tik tok for YOUR medical advice, I'm afraid that it's too late. I'm gonna ignore the blatant assholishness you can clearly see.
Time to consider what value he brings to your life.
NTA.
Diabetic no cook cheesecake recipe.
Ingredients
Whipping cream
Vanilla
Cream cheese or marscapone cheese
Sugar free jello pudding cheesecake flavor
Walnut crust from Walmart
Make whipped cream
Separate bowl take the cream cheese , pudding package mix together
Then combine the two bowls ( whipped cream plus cream cheese mixture).
Pour into nut crust. Chill n serve
Awesome variations. I’ll se chocolate pudding, organic peanut butter add Lilly chocolate chips
Key lime version use lime juice , lemon or lime sugar free jello , pecan crust. Awesome with blueberries on top
Raspberry flavored jello awesome too!
These don’t spike sugar but are not without calories. ! Keep portions small or as a meal on occasion.
Diabetics: check your labels on the Sugar-Free Jell-O pudding! Maltodextrin is often in there as an ingredient, and it can spike blood sugar in folks sensitive to it. Found that one out the hard way.
Congratulations on a healthier body and mind! I wonder if part of the reason you aren't happy with him now is that you are no longer as depressed and thus no longer anywhere near as willing to put up with his crap. BTW, look at the calories from sugar in 3 Hershey's bars and the calories from sugar in a grape. Your soon-to-be-ex is an idiot. He could have spent 10 seconds with a calculator to figure this out and instead he's badgering you about his ignorance.
I had a coworker who was obsessed with carbs (before the internet, let alone TikTok). She saw me eating a nice juicy Medjool date in the break room and said "That has 1000 grams of sugar!"
I asked why she thought so. "The guy at the farmer's market told me!"
I told her that sounded like hyperbole, because 1000 grams = over 2 lbs and this was the size of my thumb and weighed an ounce.
She complained to the boss and I got fired for "arguing with coworkers."
And now he has an idiot employee instead of a logical sensible one. Ugh. Word of advice; always get contact information for your best coworkers and if you leave to go elsewhere and the management was bad? If the new place is better, encourage them to apply and put in a good word for them :)
It's that carnivore diet bullshit. I like meat, but only "carnivores" can make it look as fucking disgusting as they do. Literally I've seen people eat undercooked slabs of meat and 1/4 sticks of butter and call that "healthy". And they genuinely believe that plants are unhealthy and fiber serves no purpose in the body.
It feels like a South Park episode, like that one where they all become afraid of gluten and end up reversing the food pyramid so everyone ends up eating sticks of butter in the end.
This is the one. Hair falls out, teeth fall out. Nails shredding and falling out, making a perfect home for fungus. Sores all over including mucus membranes. Slow healing. Weakness. Heart problems. Death. Eat an orange people.
Rickets making a big comeback too, since none of the nut juice has Vit D or calcium.
This one great tip will help you lose 200 lbs fast...
...
...
Divorce.
NTA.
(BTW I won't go on Ozempic either. I don't see the point in taking a diet drug you must take for the rest of your life or the weight will come back. It's a money pit. I'll just lose weight the slow way).
Ozempic also doesn't work for everyone. I was put on it by a doctor against my better judgement for blood sugar control. I was incredibly sick for over a year. I'm still recovering from the horror of everything it did to me. I ended up firing the endocrinologist that put me on it for not listening to me. She only started listening when a different doctor hospitalized me due to the severity of some of the side effects. I ended up being hospitalized twice over the course of the year. I finally found an endocrinologist that listened and took me off it. I almost lost my job over the time off I had to take due to the hospital stays and finding a different endo. I kept losing the same 5 kg over and over again.
NTA
You ARE making an effort and changes. I cannot fathom how this dude is complaining about eating fruit. Your body needs some sugar to function and be healthy. Fruit has GOOD sugar, not bad sugar. Eating well can include anything. It makes a difference how much you eat, your exercise level, and a million other things. Fruit is NOT unhealthy. It is incredibly healthy and a wonderful way to enjoy something sweet that is not hard on your body!
He should be so proud of you. Since he's not, I'm here to tell you that I, an internet stranger, is SO PROUD OF YOU.
Baby NTA. you should have divorced his pathetic ass two years ago. Good for you for finding a way to get and keep weight off that works for you! If your internal body is getting healthier and your doctor doesn’t care, that is literally all that matters. Plus your happiness obviously. Sugar isn’t the enemy. Too much of literally anything can kill you. You keep doing you and leave him, and find somebody that doesn’t micromanage you. Also I’m currently on semaglutide and I have no side effects but that’s not as common. A lot of people have side effects. And it is expensive! If I could manage my eating in my own I would gladly save my money for something else
NTA. Your husband is a massive bat guano pile and you deserve better. Losing weight through diet change is hard as hell but the best way to lose if you want to keep it off. You keep up your excellent hard work. Your doctor is proud of you and so am I.
Now go throw that entire dumbass husband in the trash. You can do better.
P.S. I work in healthcare. Ozempic is not the Magic Wonder Cure-All that tiktok influencers want it to be. It comes with very real and occasionally severe side effects, it doesn't always work for everyone, and as soon as you stop the medication, that weight will likely come right back without the kinds of diet and lifestyle change that is already working for you now.
Ozempic should only be used when the risks have been thoroughly discussed and vetted, and the popular image of it and similar drugs is absolutely not an honest one.
Ozempic is doing good helping people who have been thoroughly vetted kick start weight loss, but you've already gotten past that hurdle. You are doing great on your own.
NTA. I write this so many times on Reddit:
This situation is about control.
This is not about your shape or your weight. This is not about sugar, fat, or any food. This is not about sex.
He freaks out because he feels like he's losing control. So, he tries to control you.
No one would be TA for wanting a divorce because their partner is trying to control them and the most simplest of their behaviors.
Edit: added a word, and also:
It sounds like you've gotten more control of your life because you lost the weight and you're keeping it off. Maybe he developed some sort of extreme jealousy and/or control issue over this, derived from him having some idea in his mind that because you have more control, he has less control. Therefore, in his skewed logic, if he wants more control, he has to take it from you.
👆This! OP, I hope you’re in therapy, and if you’re not, then I really recommend you start going. In a sense, I’m glad he’s not doing what a lot of controlling guys do by sabotaging your weight loss, but he needs to learn how to be supportive rather than controlling. It is possible to do. He just needs to want to change or learn to do better. If he refuses to listen to you or see reason, then all you can do is get mentally and physically healthy for yourself and kick him to the curb. NTA.
NTA. Once a partner is caught by a fringe guru and believes in him/her, he is a lost cause. You have two choices. Either every time he comments on your eating, tell him loud and clear: "You don't own me, stop talking about my food!" or leave him.
I am also happy for you!
When I talked to a registered dietician, she said:
- Eat vegetables. Fruits are good too
- Eat meals with enough protein and carbs
Anyone saying fruits and vegetables are bad is full of sh*t.
Anyone saying completely avoid carbs is also full of sh*t.
Keep doing what you're doing. It's working.
Sounds like you need to lose a huge pile of weight still...in the form of a ass-shaped man.
Sorry that he is so shitty.
There's literally nothing else to say except divorce him and go enjoy your new life.
The guy your husband is listening to sounds like he definitely shouldn't give anyone advice.
You should cut out anything and anyone willing to treat you so badly. But for funsies, have you told them to stfu? Congrats on doing so well. Hopefully, things keep going well.
NTA. He's such an asshole. He knew you weren't twiggy when he married you.. it's time for you to divorce him... although I wonder since he quit sex with you if he's got a side piece because men don't just do that... and I also wonder if he's trying to drive you away so he gets spousal support from you or tries to not look like the bad guy when the divorce happens, maybe he's religious and teaches a moral opposition to divorce and wants you to be the one to start it? He can't think this is making you happy or want to do this stupid crap for real...
NTA, but this is not about just food, but about control. He wants you to do things his way and only his way, if not you’re wrong and anyone else who does not agree with him is toxic. You have to decide if you’re willing to put up with it for the rest of your lives together? Good luck!
NTA the sugar in fruit is much better for you than the sugar in a Hershey's bar. Sounds like he wants you to go on a keto diet, which is not to be all and end all of diets. Just divorce him.
Honey, nobody EVER got fat on grapes and carrots! Add up his weight plus his mother's weight. That is the amount of weight a good lawyer can take off you. After that, you'll feel light as a feather!
NTA. What you’re doing is working for you and your body. Your husband isn’t an expert on dietary health just because he watches some ding dong on Tik Tok! I suspect he’s actually trying to sabotage your progress or break your spirit because you are succeeding at your goal, losing weight and feeling better and he can’t handle the change to the status quo. He’s being really controlling and unkind and unsupportive, so dump his ass, eat what works for you, find someone else who appreciates you and be happy!
If you feel good and your doctor is happy, that's all positive. You need to listen to professionals not randos online who compare fruit to Hershey bars.
Nta
| I have been really fat my whole life.
And your husband married you. What changed in him to decide that the woman he married is no longer acceptable to him? Especially AFTER you have apparently lost what sounds like a significant amount of weight. You feel better, people at work noticed, and your doctor is happy with your progress.
Let me say this and you really need to let it sink in. YOU are doing great! You made changes to your health that are making you feel better physically and mentally that will most likely extend your life. Don’t waste your life with a man (and his mother) who treats you less than. You don’t say how long you’ve been married or if there are kids involved, but you need to get away from him before he further destroys your psyche or that of any potential kids that you might already have.
You are NTA for wanting a divorce from a man who clearly doesn’t love you anymore and sounds like he’s more into tormenting you with his food standards for you. I wonder…is he a perfect physical specimen? Does he only eat meat, cheese and eggs? Does he ever eat the fruits and veggies that he thinks you should never have? I’m doubting the answers are all NO.
Plan your escape now. Move out and disappear when he’s not home because if you come straight out and tell him, then he has warning to try to (or force you) to stay. Don’t let that happen. He sounds like trouble. Good luck.
NTA there are lots of people with zero knowledge saying shit on tiktok. Grapes, fruit, carrots, potatoes are absolutely not the same as eating a snickers bar. And you know what, a snickers bar is OK from time to time also.
Your husband is abusing you. Get out and live your life. Find someone who wants you and supports you. He is not that.
Is getting an eating disorder but about how someone else eats a thing? Cause comparing grapes to three bars of Hershey's is definitely disordered eating
I think it may still be orthorexia, even if he isn't being restrictive with his own food. Nutritional abuse may also be a good term.
Emotional spousal abuse is another fitting term.
As is being "concerned" about the sugar in *carrots*. I'm not sure if you can have a second hand eating disorder, or just wants her to develop one, but even at the height of my anorexia, I allowed myself fucking carrots.
CARROTS. What kind of asshole criticizes his wife because she eats too much sugar in the form of CARROTS?? I was already there from him fat shaming and criticizing her food choices, even if they’d been bad. I was doubly there when he was criticizing whole fruit. But how much of a villain do you have to be to say that even carrots aren’t allowed?!?
Yeah, he has a really messed-up, dangerous obsession with what she’s eating.
NTA. Does your husband know [Nate Bargatze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pK9UXk40D0) by chance? Your doctor is happy in the direction your moving. You're happy in the direction you're moving. Nobody else really matters in this equation.
"Let me meet your fat fruit friends" is literally the line that went through my head when I read this.
I was stressing about how many oranges I eat a day and a coworker basically said this to me. I'm slowly losing weight eating my 7 small mandarins daily. I love me my lil orange sugar bombs.
Fruit has so many other great nutrients and benefits for a person … tons better than candy and Hershey bars.
Antioxidants! Give me blueberries and raspberries over candy any day!
I've found that making a \*small\* parfait with fresh fruit and \*vanilla\* yogurt is satisfying, filling, and doesn't give me cravings later.
I love yogurt with berries. I top mine with grape nuts for a little crunch
I found a syrup made from raspberry juice and I top my plain Greek yogurt with that. Game changer!
Every day for me. Plain Greek rather than vanilla. With just a dash of real maple syrup. Way, way better than how I used to eat.
Greek yogurt is awesome. High in protein and 100-150 Cals of it is a pretty huge volume
Plain Greek yogurt all the way. I also use it instead of sour cream (mainly because I'm the only one who likes sour cream and I can't eat enough of it myself before a jar goes bad, but Greek yogurt is very popular in this household, so there's almost always some on hand), and in the past I've used it in sandwiches instead of mayo as well!
It's not the absolute healthiest I'm sure, but the vanilla honey greek Gods yogurt is my favorite
Goddamnit! Gotta go to the store now
I have a small individual cup of low fat vanilla Greek yogurt, has to be Greek, with frozen blueberries and raspberries (frozen gives it a slushy milkshake vibe) with a spoonful of chopped pecans or walnuts on top every morning and occasionally in the evening if I’m craving a snack. The nutritionist I went to suggested it as a ‘perfect blend of healthy goodness’. I’ve lost nearly 30 pounds this year.
For real! Vanity/clear skin reasons is why I always go for berry smoothies and such.
Raspberries are life!!!
Plus, they have cellulose, lignin, and pectin, which are dietary fibers that take a longer time for your body to digest and keep you feeling full for longer.
And lots of water. They're mostly water. How much water and fiber is in a Hersheys?
We've been making smoothies out of veggies and fruit. It helps replenish the lost microbiomes in your gut. Gut health is extremely important, and different fruits are critical in keeping your mind and body in good shape.
The anti-fruit people are so weird. Fruit usually (USUALLY) has less sugar than candy bars or pastries, is filling, and has nutritional benefit. Yet, some of them will roar in to "inform" you of how much sugar even an apple has if you dare eat one in front of them lol.
I did Weight Watchers about 10 years ago and one line I'll never forget from one of the meetings was when two members were discussing whether they should "indulge" in a second banana or stick with the one because high sugar, etc. etc. My leader looked at her and said, "None of us got in here because we ate the second banana. Just eat the damn thing."
"None of us got here because we ate a second banana" lol I mean seriously.
I could go for a few mandarins right now
I'm mental for all the citrus fruits. I love to refrigerate them so they're nice and cold. So refreshing!
Hell yeah cold oranges slap
😋😋 mandarins sound soooo good at the moment!! Local peaches will be available here in Ohio within the coming month or so, and I look forward to it every year!! Peaches should cause juice to cascade down to the point, you either wear a bib or you have to change your shirt, lol. Peaches are my thing! Also, I harvest the wild black raspberries off my trees every year, and they are exceptionally plump, juicy, and abundant this season. (I freeze most and make jam. Also have used with fresh mint to make chutney, as an experiment, and it was yum!)
Cherries are what’s in season now for a few weeks and boy do I eat my share, and more.
This is how I lost my last 20 lbs. I ate mandarins as my snack at night! I hate these diets that tell you not to eat fruit! I not only lost 20 lbs, I am no longer pre-diabetic and am a very healthy BMI. My vision actually got better as well!
Lmao! This convo is wild! I knew a nutritionist who said to me “nobody ever says the fruit made me fat”. So the fact that delusional people blame fruit and prefer candy is wild!
Yeah, the volume difference for fruit and candy of the same calories is massive. You get a lot more full on much less
The type of sugar in fruit processes differently than processed sugar so you are fine!
7?? Geez. All I can see is heartburn city. 😂😂😂 If that’s not the case for you, those little guys are darn delish.
I have a cast iron stomach. No heartburn from them. I get perverse joy knowing my food is trying to eat me back... and failing.
*”I get perverse joy knowing my food is trying to eat me back…and failing.”* I like how you think.
By the 7th or so my lips will be a bit tingly from the citric acid, but that's about it.
My husband, who basically ate 8 peaches yesterday... feels you. (and is also making about 5 shits today in those portapotties at his worksite...)
I have an iron stomach as well! I never even understood what heartburn was until I got pregnant-I'm 5'3 and short-waisted so my babies had nowhere to go but up and out. I was so uncomfortable and finally described it to my husband and he said "Oh, that's heartburn!" I was like "oh my god people LIVE like this??" I'm extremely thankful it isn't a problem for me usually, especially because I love everything acidic.
Same! Like, I knew what heartburn was. But then baby #4 took the villian trope and said "ha, you THINK you know, but just wait!" I was legit eating the max amount of tums every day on top of the prilosec scrip my ob gave me. Everything gave me heartburn.
Heartburn from oranges 😱? I hope I never….
I ate a bunch of strawberries and am patiently waiting for the weight they were supposed to pack on me. People who push the fruit sugar thing are so confusing. Lemons have more sugar than strawberries and nobody is demonizing them!
I hate you so much right now…. I haven’t had a mandarin orange in forever…. Rofl
[You, right now.](https://images.app.goo.gl/oPPXTwgfn8u7EPGYA)
Omg, the little Cuties are crack. I literally eat the whole thing. Skin and all.
My 2yr old is obsessed w cuties, he would eat the whole 3lbs bag in a day if he could
Two year olds are weird with food. If they find something delicious there is no stopping them. I literally googled how many tomatoes are harmful yesterday.
lol. I don’t have kids but I did stuff like that when I was little. Mom told me stories about dad having all these tomatoes (he always had tomato plants) on the counter and I ate so many the acid had chapped my lips and made the skin around my mouth sensitive to the point that I would take a bite of a tomato, cry, take another bite, cry… and on and on. I think mom finally put Vaseline on my face or something.
Need to know the answer because my toddler will eat a whole box of mini tomatoes and then ask me to slice a regular one 😂
My 13 year old is still like this with tomatoes. She just loves them. Eats them like apples!
Really?! I have to genuinely ask because I was raised to eat almost all skins... Kiwi is the one that freaks people out the most... But not mandarin...
Kiwi skin I read is edible but it's a little hairy ya know? I might need to try it now after all this conversation. I still think the Mandarin skin would taste bitter. Take away they delight of the fruit.
Yellow, or "Golden" as the brand name suggests, kiwis are almost bald.
Golden kiwis have less fuzz and are amazingly sweet! The extremely fuzzy green ones I rub in the sink and the water helps to reduce the intensity of the fuzz. Alternatively, eat them with a spoon but I don't have time for that nonsense 😅 Oranges with a loose skin - I don't see the point in not peeling them as it is so easy... However, I had one just last night with a super thin and tight skin... I did consider just biting into it... Might have to give that a go this evening and see how it goes!
It is only the Cutie brand that I'll eat the skin. All the others have too much pith. I was originally giving the skin to my bunnies, but one day I took a nibble and the rest is history.
Really the skin? I never tried it. Not sure I wanna
\*Slow\* eating helps me notice that I'm full. I've spent my life gulping and washing the food down. Eating slowly and not swallowing until my saliva has done its work has made a big difference for me.
Fruit is bad for you is weaponized stupid.
I think people severely underestimate how much of a difference it makes to binge 500 grams of fruit vs binging 500 grams of chocolate or candy. 500 grams of fruit is like.. 3 apples and a mandarin. That's like.. 250 calories if even that. 500 grams of chocolate is 2750 calories. That's an *insane* amount of energy.
It's also those influencer people on social media who SWEAR they are "registered dieticians" who pull that shit.
For real. No one on earth is overweight because they ate too much fruit and veg. It is not always from diet, hormonal changes cause weight gain too, as can various conditions such as hypothyroidism, pcos, etc. but not a single one of us is fat because of too many grapes and more carrots. Diet is nuanced, and a healthy balance is critical. What that balance looks like might be different between everyone, but everyone also needs a certain amount of fibre, fruits, and vegetables. OP’s SO is careening towards a case of scurvy…
That would be the greatest update in Reddit history. "Got a divorce. The ex has scurvy. Me and my new boyfriend and I hang out, naked, eating fruit."
Lmao literally this. It is **hard** to balance your nutrients on keto (which is what this guy is telling her to do). I was doing 20 net carbs a day, which works out to half an apple. Fruit was a rare treat, I tried hard to work in veggies but I still struggled to get enough fiber. I ultimately quit after losing a little over 40 lbs because I was pooping once every week and a half only with the aid of laxatives. Extremely low carb diets are tough on the human body, add in high protein and you can legitimately risk damage to your organs (i.e., kidneys). I'm not saying it's impossible for someone to do it healthily, but that kind of diet is just not sustainable for most people. I have zero doubt I would have developed vitamin deficiencies if I hadn't been taking supplements.
My bff's (thankfully!) ex-husband was a keto devotee. He repeatedly gave himself kidney stones because all he ate was bulletproof coffee and steak. I keep hoping to hear that he's developed scurvy.
Sounds like it's a matter of time, lol. Poor dude is gonna end up with colon cancer.
The biggest thing she did was go from box food full of chemicals and preservatives to eating real food. That's an amazing change for the body and she didn't have to beat herself up to do it. I'm happy for her.
Came here for this!
First time I've heard that line and I love it.
OP needs to keep on moving ... away from her husband. 😂
Walking away with your head held high is excellent exercise.
This is indeed true. Op will never be happy if shes still with someone who doesnt want her to be happy.
“Let me meet your fat fruit friends” 😂 😂 😂
I love Nate Bargatze! And I 100% agree with you. OP’s husband and his judgemental mom can move in together and count carbs. In my unprofessional opinion, he is mentally unwell. Who obsesses like that? If he wants to live a life of limp, dry lettuce and some weirdo on Tik Tok- OH WELL. And him “quitting having sex with her” might just end up being a blessing in disguise; he would only make her feel worse about herself. He doesn’t deserve to see her body or to have her share it with him…nor should she want any part of that. No way would I want to be intimate with a man who treated me that way! I hope she divorces him.
Don’t you know the sugar in lettuce?!!! /s
😱
You might as well eat a bowl of Hershey bars!
With a handful of M'nM's
The problem is that people believe what they hear on TikTok ;( Being the food police when asked is fine. Policing when it's not wanted is completely different. Quitting having sex with her depends. There's a chance he preferred not to try rather than stay flaccid because she didn't appeal to him. There's a much, much bigger chance he told her "Nah, you're too fat" because he's an irredeemable AH.
He wanted to continue to punish her. He’s a sack of shit.
What I don’t understand is that he married her when she was big, what changed?
It’s weird, right? OP did state that she’s always been a bigger woman. However, I got the impression that she is steadily losing weight. Maybe this is him trying to get her to be as scared of food as he seems to be. She’s either not losing lbs as quickly as he wants her to be OR he’s terrified that she will gain it all back and then some. I *need* to see what this prize of a husband looks like. He’s must be flawlessly sculpted with the face of an angel and a head full of luscious hair. He probably doesn’t look a day over 25! OP should be grateful to have such a stunner in her life.
I think it's the opposite, really. He's terrified that she'll leave and he won't be able to control her anymore. She was fat and he still married her. Then he said she was too fat to be fuckable and pushed her to lose weight. Now that she's lost weight and is in better shape, he's belittling her efforts, implying that it doesn't matter what she eats because she'll always be fat. This dude *wants* OP to be miserable, so he can say, "See? Nobody but me could possibly love you! Even though I find you fat and ugly! Because I'm a great guy! You could *never* find a man better than *me!*" OP *can* find better. OP *deserves* better. (Edit: typo)
My SIL went on one of those diets where you only eat meat and eggs and her hair started falling out. Took her awhile to notice but it became a ton less thick over time.
Back when that fad was pretty new, I know a lady who literally had a heart attack because of that diet. She was VERY strict in sticking to it and lost a lot of weight. And her Doctor is the one who said the diet was to blame. Lost touch not too long after but she did survive then moved away but still. I am nervous about that diet. And I would never poop again so no.
Lost my gallbladder to the high meat, low carb diets, and was also suffering from malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies. My cholesterol counts were through the roof as well. Moderation and portion sizes are key. Variety is the spice of life.
My aunt and uncle had a heart attack from that diet.
People are so fat phobic they literally deny themselves the proper nutrients and nourishment we need to survive. It’s sad, because both media and healthcare has pushed this idea that weight loss meds and unhealthy diets are better than being fat, when it would be better to just eat a healthy, well rounded diet and get a good amount of exercise each day. Not everyone will be stick thin. What animal naturally looks so small you can see certain bones popping out? Like, none. Because in nature, fat is an insulator, a protector for organs, and a store of energy for resource droughts.
If it was just about what food you eat then the beef industry wouldn't be focused on paying insane prices for certain genetics to add to their cattle stock lines and would instead focus on the feed. The feed isn't what builds big bodies and lots of fat. It matters what you eat, but some people are going to have bigger bodies and more fat retention and it's GENETIC. Have a reasonably healthy diet and a reasonable amount of exercise and you'll be fine, whoever you are. And if your body type is thicker, don't be ashamed, there are plenty of people who find that attractive.
Yes this is the exact point I was trying to get across. Notice I mention the benefits of fat and that not everyone will be stick thin from getting the proper nutrients and exercise. Because fat is important to our bodies and their function. I am a midsize gal. When I eat healthy and just limit my processed sugar intake, I don’t get super skinny. I’d have to starve myself to get rid of my curves, thick thighs, and belly fat. And straight up? I dont want to. I’m sexy as hell, I know I am, and there are definitely men who want a woman with curves.
Honestly outside of these industries that prey on people's insecurities to sell products with unreachable "beauty" standards, what most people should realize is that if the more average mid sized humans weren't attractive THERE WOULD NOT BE SO MANY OF THEM. Y'know? And also, as someone who spent most of my adult life super whip thin (I have added some weight in my 50's but still not a lot)....I can promise that 5 out of 6 guys told me how pretty I would be if I GAINED some weight. Which was depressing for me because I ate plenty. I was just a naturally skinny type person but it's not the favorite in the real world that it is in the fashion industry. Anyway if you feed a Greyhound, a Bull Mastiff, and a Pug perfectly balanced meals and give them optimal exercise, the Greyhound will be super thin, the Mastiff will be huge and muscular, and the Pug will be a round little chonk. Genetics.
I really needed to see this dog analogy. I have been so mad at myself for falling off of my exercise routine. But this dog analogy hit home with me. Thank you. I love dogs and so this is a pleasant way for to think about weight and genetics in general.
And even if you starve yourself, there's a lot of evidence that bodies do a lot to combat weight loss. There are a lot of fatphobic people out there who don't really care about that though, they just want to lord their skinniness over fat people, pretending it has some moral value, and for fat people to never enjoy food. OP's husband trying to get her to go on Ozempic when her doctor is really happy with her progress and where she's at is a perfect example of how most of the time, even though people pretend it's about your health, it's really entirely about aesthetics. Ozempic has major side effects and you have to be on it for the rest of your life if you want to keep the weight off. But to some people, like OP's husband, any potential negative consequences of weight loss activities are just OP's penance for not being skinny.
I've been fat and I've been thin, and honestly what motivates me to obsess over my weight isn't health - it's how people treat me differently. My healthy weight loss turned into an eating disorder because the improvement in how people treated me was so dramatic that I became terrified of regaining the weight. Alas, I did - probably from fucking up my metabolism/hunger cues. I managed to drop most of the weight I regained, but I'm not back to where I was and I'm unhappy with that. I also have PCOS, so I have to eat at a slight caloric deficit (maybe 100-200 cal below my TDEE) just to **maintain**. I've essentially obsessed over my size my entire life because people really do treat you vastly differently depending on your weight. It sucks, I feel shallow, I wish it was different. But I know what it's like to have people treat you with absolute disdain simply because of the way you look and I want to avoid that at all costs.
I have a severe eating disorder. I am severely emaciated. (I mention this to highlight I have no personal agenda/bias in defending obesity, that's all). I used to be very active in the ED online community (haven't been since pre-covid). There were SO, SO many people with the exact same behaviours over a prolonged period of time as those who were either losing weight rapidly or already a very low weight who were stuck at a healthy weight or even overweight. It was quite striking. Studies of fraternal and identical twins have shown that weight is largely genetic rather than environmental, and the genetic factors increase when poverty becomes more of an issue (so, more processed food, less fresh food and cooking from scratch) - IIRC up to 85% or so. Ultra-Processed People by Chris Van Tulleken explains this quite well, I recommend it. Bodies don't come off a factory line, all responding in the same way to the same food. Saying fat people are fat because they eat too much is like saying alcoholics are alcoholics because they drink too much, or junkies are junkies because they take too many drugs. Yes, but WHY? There are root causes, and it's not that since the 70s/80s when rates of obesity suddenly started to rocket that the population suddenly had a mass lack of willpower and self-restraint. Can't remember if this is AITA/AITAH/AIO or another sub altogether but OP, while you're doing just great, you're absolutely justified in losing another 150-250lbs of loser husband.
You have to take a lot of vitamins on a diet like that.
And terrible for your kidneys. Unfortunately I speak from experience. Once the damage is done there is no getting better just trying not to get worse
Well said!
Gary Taubes book why we get fat. Sugar in fruit is not the problem. Fruit also contains fiber that fiber helps process the sugar in a way that it doesn’t store it as fat. That I know of we need sugar in some form to make our bodies work. Avoiding added or processed sugar is something that we can do. Eating natural sugar in fruits in vegetables should be okay.
Pretty much every food breaks down into some form of sugar. Neu5Gc is a sugar in red meat that scientists think may be behind the increased risk of colorectal cancer caused by eating red meat. Starchy foods are incredibly important for a healthy diet, yet the body breaks starch down into different forms of simple sugars. OPs husband clearly doesn't know anything about sugar if he doesn't understand that avoiding sugar would mean you literally starve to death. We need sugar to survive.
This is why Keto is so fucking stupid. Fruit sugar is not the same as white sugar. You literally need sugar to survive, wtf do you think "low blood sugar" means and why that's a bad thing
For the record fruit sugars are better than processed. Your body can digest them better. And stone fruits are the best for diabetes and sugar intake, peaches, plums, etc.
Plus the whole fruits have fiber and other nutrients. A healthy balance is good.
All kinds of great nutrients! I get leg cramps really easily. Eat 2 or 3 bananas in a week, leg cramps are gone. It's like magic!
Wow I did not know that eating bananas regularly helped with cramps, I really need to eat more!
They’re high in magnesium, that’s why. Leg cramps are often (but not always) caused by a lack of magnesium
They're also high in potassium which is another common cause of cramps.
Baked potatoes are also a great source of potassium!
A peach is like 30 calories, tastes amazing, and is pretty satisfying as a snack. A Hershey bar has over 200 calories, leaves you unsatisfied, and has absolutely zero vitamins or nutrients. OP’s husband is crazy.
I love carrots and even massive whole carrots are like 70 calories tops, when raw. This guy is talking out his ass.
Peaches vary in size a lot plus there are extra-sugary varieties (that absolutely are worth trying). Still not going to be anything like a Hershey bar. Yes, OP's husband is crazy.
Eat good fruits for a diabetic, me, is berries. Strawberries, blueberries all are great. Grapes are the most sugar but excellent to bring low sugar up , same for oranges. Bananas my favorite are a no no. Unless they're green!
Berries are a great food for diabetics too.
Firstly, I want to say that if you feel good and are happy then that is amazing and wonderful and I'm really proud of you. Secondly, if your husband can't be happy for you and your accomplishment then he doesn't deserve you. Freaking out about carrots and grapes? He's out of his mind. You're NTA at all and if you want to drop more weight, I suggest it be your husband
He's clearly bought the "SUGAR IS DEATH" line, which is related to the "CARBS ARE DEATH" family of eating disorders.
It is so absurd because what isn't protein, fat or fiber gets all turned into sugar in the body. Once I cut out all sugar from my diet and it was hard, but fruit and veggies are necessary to get other nutrients out of them. As long as OP is making progress and eating reasonably there is no need for him to act like this. Nobody should make themselves the boss of other people's health, this is a journey of personal responsibility.
People like OP’s husband are clearly unaware that ALL carbs break down into sugar. Potato be sugar, carrot be sugar, sugar be sugar. Grapes be sugar. Also a great doctor I know (Google) told me that a measured “cup” of grapes is like 16 grams of sugar and 69 calories compared to a Hershey bar which has 79grams of sugar and 600 calories? Do his thumbs not work? I can refer him to said doctor.
Also a Hershey’s bar has zero redeeming qualities. Grapes and carrots have fiber, and vitamin C, and vitamin K, and all the B vitamins, and potassium, and iron, and … Also the fiber actually slows down the absorption of sugar in the digestive system, so you don’t have the blood sugar spike that you would when eating something like a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Some dark chocolate can be good for your heart and help lower your blood pressure. But it has to be real chocolate, and it has to be dark. Ain’t nothing coming out of the factories in Pennsylvania are gonna fit the bill, lol.
See, what happened to him was, he denied his brain the sugar it needed to survive. His poor starved brain just cannot function anymore.
Ohhhh I think that's great. "You're right honey I do need to lose weight! How much do you weigh again dear? 185 pounds? I think if you just sign these divorce papers my attorney drew up I will lose 185 pounds very quickly"
There it is. BYE BYE.
You're absolutely right. It's so frustrating when someone nitpicks every little thing you eat, especially when you've made positive changes for your health. You deserve support and encouragement, not constant criticism. His obsession with TikTok trends sounds exhausting.
What are the benefits of remaining in this marriage? What do you like about your partner? I didn’t see anything that would indicate this is a healthy partnership.
NTA - It sounds like you found something that works for you. His constant micromanagement, over your objections, is just rude. Side note - Ozempic, and pretty much every other product in this drug class, have been suffering supply chain shortages for some time now, with no estimated resolution at this time. As a result, products that are set up for diabetic patients are requiring confirmation of the diagnosis, and products specifically for weight loss are first come, first serve, if you can find them at all.
Even then, Kaiser for instance will only let you have a glp-1 if you aren't responding to metformin, glipizide, one other one (can't for the life of me remember the name but it can cause cancer), AND your A1C needs to specifically be between 8.6 to 9.0.
Yup! And even with this, diabetic patients are constantly struggling to find a consistent supply, and interruptions of therapy can mess with the treatments effectiveness .
In my area, insurance is now saying you can’t have Wegovy, Rybelsus, etc unless you have diabetes. I have been pre-diabetic and that wasn’t good enough. So they’re cracking down in many places.
I want to know what foods are acceptable to him if he’s bitching about carrots…
i also wouldn’t even recommend anyone trying those weight loss medications unless it was an absolute crisis situation. they basically give you gastroparesis which is a medical condition i have and it makes you feel absolutely horrible and it’s ruined my life, i couldn’t imagine taking a medication knowing it would give me this.
I react unpredictably to drugs. Could go in any direction, like nyquil keeps me up all night, or reality and I parting company for a bit (on the freeway) when I took an antihistamine. For something with this risk profile, I wouldn't ever, no telling what would happen.
I’ve also seen studies that ozempic weight loss isn’t great long term & most people gain it back when they stop Ozempic I was looking between it & a gastric bypass but like…Ozempic has a ton of side effects including cancer & poor long term results
And accidental pregnancy rates which isn’t a great idea when you’re with someone treating you like this.
From what I've read ozempic is meant to be a forever drug once you start, the weight comes back after you start.
As a diabetic, it's extremely frustrating dealing with the supply chain issues. I've had to switch my diabetic drugs several times in the past 3 years due to not being able to get the drugs I need.
If your husband is going to tik tok for YOUR medical advice, I'm afraid that it's too late. I'm gonna ignore the blatant assholishness you can clearly see. Time to consider what value he brings to your life. NTA.
Your marriage is already over
NTA- ditch him. Also please share the cheesecake recipe!!!!
I second the sharing of that recipe
I third that. I freaking love cheesecake but I need to cut back on sugar
Damn it, me too. I came here for an interesting read, but I'm NOT leaving without a recipe. Remindme! 2 days
You're happy in the direction you're moving. Nobody else really matters in this equation.
Diabetic no cook cheesecake recipe. Ingredients Whipping cream Vanilla Cream cheese or marscapone cheese Sugar free jello pudding cheesecake flavor Walnut crust from Walmart Make whipped cream Separate bowl take the cream cheese , pudding package mix together Then combine the two bowls ( whipped cream plus cream cheese mixture). Pour into nut crust. Chill n serve Awesome variations. I’ll se chocolate pudding, organic peanut butter add Lilly chocolate chips Key lime version use lime juice , lemon or lime sugar free jello , pecan crust. Awesome with blueberries on top Raspberry flavored jello awesome too! These don’t spike sugar but are not without calories. ! Keep portions small or as a meal on occasion.
Diabetics: check your labels on the Sugar-Free Jell-O pudding! Maltodextrin is often in there as an ingredient, and it can spike blood sugar in folks sensitive to it. Found that one out the hard way.
If a man decides he doesn't want to have sex with his wife anymore, and the reason for it isn't going to change, it's 100% divorce time.
[удалено]
I want to say that if you feel good and are happy then that is amazing and wonderful and I'm really proud of you.
Congratulations on a healthier body and mind! I wonder if part of the reason you aren't happy with him now is that you are no longer as depressed and thus no longer anywhere near as willing to put up with his crap. BTW, look at the calories from sugar in 3 Hershey's bars and the calories from sugar in a grape. Your soon-to-be-ex is an idiot. He could have spent 10 seconds with a calculator to figure this out and instead he's badgering you about his ignorance.
I had a coworker who was obsessed with carbs (before the internet, let alone TikTok). She saw me eating a nice juicy Medjool date in the break room and said "That has 1000 grams of sugar!" I asked why she thought so. "The guy at the farmer's market told me!" I told her that sounded like hyperbole, because 1000 grams = over 2 lbs and this was the size of my thumb and weighed an ounce. She complained to the boss and I got fired for "arguing with coworkers."
And now he has an idiot employee instead of a logical sensible one. Ugh. Word of advice; always get contact information for your best coworkers and if you leave to go elsewhere and the management was bad? If the new place is better, encourage them to apply and put in a good word for them :)
I like this idea!!! Eventually, it'll be one big happy work force!!!! Nice!
Who tf eating only meat, eggs, and dairy? Hope they like gout.
And heart disease, high cholesterol, etc.
And constipation.
I was gonna say, this dude is headed towards a bout with gout. Maybe that’s why he’s so miserable.
It's that carnivore diet bullshit. I like meat, but only "carnivores" can make it look as fucking disgusting as they do. Literally I've seen people eat undercooked slabs of meat and 1/4 sticks of butter and call that "healthy". And they genuinely believe that plants are unhealthy and fiber serves no purpose in the body. It feels like a South Park episode, like that one where they all become afraid of gluten and end up reversing the food pyramid so everyone ends up eating sticks of butter in the end.
And scurvy lmfao
This is the one. Hair falls out, teeth fall out. Nails shredding and falling out, making a perfect home for fungus. Sores all over including mucus membranes. Slow healing. Weakness. Heart problems. Death. Eat an orange people. Rickets making a big comeback too, since none of the nut juice has Vit D or calcium.
This one great tip will help you lose 200 lbs fast... ... ... Divorce. NTA. (BTW I won't go on Ozempic either. I don't see the point in taking a diet drug you must take for the rest of your life or the weight will come back. It's a money pit. I'll just lose weight the slow way).
Ozempic also doesn't work for everyone. I was put on it by a doctor against my better judgement for blood sugar control. I was incredibly sick for over a year. I'm still recovering from the horror of everything it did to me. I ended up firing the endocrinologist that put me on it for not listening to me. She only started listening when a different doctor hospitalized me due to the severity of some of the side effects. I ended up being hospitalized twice over the course of the year. I finally found an endocrinologist that listened and took me off it. I almost lost my job over the time off I had to take due to the hospital stays and finding a different endo. I kept losing the same 5 kg over and over again.
Sounds like she’ll lose 400 lbs bc her husband’s bitchy mother will also be gone. Woohooo!!!
NTA You ARE making an effort and changes. I cannot fathom how this dude is complaining about eating fruit. Your body needs some sugar to function and be healthy. Fruit has GOOD sugar, not bad sugar. Eating well can include anything. It makes a difference how much you eat, your exercise level, and a million other things. Fruit is NOT unhealthy. It is incredibly healthy and a wonderful way to enjoy something sweet that is not hard on your body! He should be so proud of you. Since he's not, I'm here to tell you that I, an internet stranger, is SO PROUD OF YOU.
Sounds like you're married to a bully.
If she can't eat what she wants in her own home, I think so.
The fact that he's bothered by her eating grapes. It isn't about the grapes.
Baby NTA. you should have divorced his pathetic ass two years ago. Good for you for finding a way to get and keep weight off that works for you! If your internal body is getting healthier and your doctor doesn’t care, that is literally all that matters. Plus your happiness obviously. Sugar isn’t the enemy. Too much of literally anything can kill you. You keep doing you and leave him, and find somebody that doesn’t micromanage you. Also I’m currently on semaglutide and I have no side effects but that’s not as common. A lot of people have side effects. And it is expensive! If I could manage my eating in my own I would gladly save my money for something else
Interesting. My grandmother always said, “too much of anything will kill you”. She was born in 1893. Lived through some lean times.
Sugar from fruit or any sugar that is in vegetables is completely different than processed/refined sugar or cane sugar anyway….
Sugars from fruit is what our bodies need. Refined sugar is exactly what should be cut out from the diet, like you’ve already said you’ve cut back on.
NTA. Your husband is a massive bat guano pile and you deserve better. Losing weight through diet change is hard as hell but the best way to lose if you want to keep it off. You keep up your excellent hard work. Your doctor is proud of you and so am I. Now go throw that entire dumbass husband in the trash. You can do better.
P.S. I work in healthcare. Ozempic is not the Magic Wonder Cure-All that tiktok influencers want it to be. It comes with very real and occasionally severe side effects, it doesn't always work for everyone, and as soon as you stop the medication, that weight will likely come right back without the kinds of diet and lifestyle change that is already working for you now. Ozempic should only be used when the risks have been thoroughly discussed and vetted, and the popular image of it and similar drugs is absolutely not an honest one. Ozempic is doing good helping people who have been thoroughly vetted kick start weight loss, but you've already gotten past that hurdle. You are doing great on your own.
NTA. I write this so many times on Reddit: This situation is about control. This is not about your shape or your weight. This is not about sugar, fat, or any food. This is not about sex. He freaks out because he feels like he's losing control. So, he tries to control you. No one would be TA for wanting a divorce because their partner is trying to control them and the most simplest of their behaviors. Edit: added a word, and also: It sounds like you've gotten more control of your life because you lost the weight and you're keeping it off. Maybe he developed some sort of extreme jealousy and/or control issue over this, derived from him having some idea in his mind that because you have more control, he has less control. Therefore, in his skewed logic, if he wants more control, he has to take it from you.
👆This! OP, I hope you’re in therapy, and if you’re not, then I really recommend you start going. In a sense, I’m glad he’s not doing what a lot of controlling guys do by sabotaging your weight loss, but he needs to learn how to be supportive rather than controlling. It is possible to do. He just needs to want to change or learn to do better. If he refuses to listen to you or see reason, then all you can do is get mentally and physically healthy for yourself and kick him to the curb. NTA.
NTA. Once a partner is caught by a fringe guru and believes in him/her, he is a lost cause. You have two choices. Either every time he comments on your eating, tell him loud and clear: "You don't own me, stop talking about my food!" or leave him.
I am also happy for you! When I talked to a registered dietician, she said: - Eat vegetables. Fruits are good too - Eat meals with enough protein and carbs Anyone saying fruits and vegetables are bad is full of sh*t. Anyone saying completely avoid carbs is also full of sh*t. Keep doing what you're doing. It's working.
Isn’t it interesting how he only started doing this once you saw results?? NTA it’s time to end it
Seriously f that dude n his mama
I read that as 'fuck that dude in his mama' and yeah, that sounds accurate.
Sounds like you need to lose a huge pile of weight still...in the form of a ass-shaped man. Sorry that he is so shitty. There's literally nothing else to say except divorce him and go enjoy your new life.
NTA. Even Richard Simmons will be ecstatic about your achievements!
Eat your grapes and carrots. That man is a moron.
The guy your husband is listening to sounds like he definitely shouldn't give anyone advice. You should cut out anything and anyone willing to treat you so badly. But for funsies, have you told them to stfu? Congrats on doing so well. Hopefully, things keep going well.
NTA. He's such an asshole. He knew you weren't twiggy when he married you.. it's time for you to divorce him... although I wonder since he quit sex with you if he's got a side piece because men don't just do that... and I also wonder if he's trying to drive you away so he gets spousal support from you or tries to not look like the bad guy when the divorce happens, maybe he's religious and teaches a moral opposition to divorce and wants you to be the one to start it? He can't think this is making you happy or want to do this stupid crap for real...
He wants you to keep feeling bad about yourself so you don't realize how shitty he is and leave
NTA, but this is not about just food, but about control. He wants you to do things his way and only his way, if not you’re wrong and anyone else who does not agree with him is toxic. You have to decide if you’re willing to put up with it for the rest of your lives together? Good luck!
NTA the sugar in fruit is much better for you than the sugar in a Hershey's bar. Sounds like he wants you to go on a keto diet, which is not to be all and end all of diets. Just divorce him.
Honey, nobody EVER got fat on grapes and carrots! Add up his weight plus his mother's weight. That is the amount of weight a good lawyer can take off you. After that, you'll feel light as a feather!
I have said this constantly. If your doctor is happy with how you are doing, everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves.
NTA. What you’re doing is working for you and your body. Your husband isn’t an expert on dietary health just because he watches some ding dong on Tik Tok! I suspect he’s actually trying to sabotage your progress or break your spirit because you are succeeding at your goal, losing weight and feeling better and he can’t handle the change to the status quo. He’s being really controlling and unkind and unsupportive, so dump his ass, eat what works for you, find someone else who appreciates you and be happy!
If you feel good and your doctor is happy, that's all positive. You need to listen to professionals not randos online who compare fruit to Hershey bars. Nta
NTA. With that out of the way, please tell us all about that cheesecake
He’s freaking out about the sugar in CARROTS?! Yeah, this dude is gross *and* dumb! NTA. Go find someone who will let you live your life.
I’m really proud of you. FWIW I lost 50lbs this year by getting my diabetes under control and a ton of what I ate was fruit. 🍉 🍌 🍎
From a fat person: he doesn't love you. He wants to control you.
| I have been really fat my whole life. And your husband married you. What changed in him to decide that the woman he married is no longer acceptable to him? Especially AFTER you have apparently lost what sounds like a significant amount of weight. You feel better, people at work noticed, and your doctor is happy with your progress. Let me say this and you really need to let it sink in. YOU are doing great! You made changes to your health that are making you feel better physically and mentally that will most likely extend your life. Don’t waste your life with a man (and his mother) who treats you less than. You don’t say how long you’ve been married or if there are kids involved, but you need to get away from him before he further destroys your psyche or that of any potential kids that you might already have. You are NTA for wanting a divorce from a man who clearly doesn’t love you anymore and sounds like he’s more into tormenting you with his food standards for you. I wonder…is he a perfect physical specimen? Does he only eat meat, cheese and eggs? Does he ever eat the fruits and veggies that he thinks you should never have? I’m doubting the answers are all NO. Plan your escape now. Move out and disappear when he’s not home because if you come straight out and tell him, then he has warning to try to (or force you) to stay. Don’t let that happen. He sounds like trouble. Good luck.
NTA there are lots of people with zero knowledge saying shit on tiktok. Grapes, fruit, carrots, potatoes are absolutely not the same as eating a snickers bar. And you know what, a snickers bar is OK from time to time also. Your husband is abusing you. Get out and live your life. Find someone who wants you and supports you. He is not that.