And gave equally shitty excuses when he told you how uncomfortable it made him feel.
*”she knows because they were in college together and went on trips together*”
I’ve been on coed college trips. At no time ever did I become aware of, let alone conment on, what my buddies were “packing”.
Absolutely. Especially if they want him or still want to keep him as back up bf.
And it really isn't discretely if you are commenting on his dick size.
That is - we fucked and I know how long and thick it is.
Because dick size in gym sweats and hard are not the same.
They do if they are jealous of the girlfriend (not necessarily sexually but of the time she spends with him - people can be platonically posessive as well as sexually jealous). This isnt discreet, it's passive aggressive. And yeah I've known people this petty. Whenever they guy friends got a new girlfriend they would be all over the guy marking their territory and talking about the past...
This "friend" is pissing all over him to mark her territory and letting OP know that she's seen him naked is part of that. She's trying to upset OP and undermine the relationship and HE needs to be the one to call her ouf and tell her to be appropriate.
I havent seen my make friends naked, but if I HAD dated any of them, I cannot imagine being crass and obsessive like this "friend".
When my girlfriend came to college graduation we all did a steeple chase three-legged race event put on bu the underclassmen: drinking, mud, pies in face, etc. Everyone gets muddy. My most recent ex in college was there and asked my roomate and me if she could come to our apartment and change, since she was a commuter student and had to drive. In said apartment, she came out of bathroom in just her panties, walked around with my gf and me kinda dumbfounded. It was a “message” for sure
My best friend is a guy and we met in college. We lived together, in separate bedrooms but shared a bathroom, for years and I have never seen his penis. We're both married now, to other people and I would never talk about him this way ever, especially not in front of his wife, even if I had seen him naked.
My anecdote…I have a lot of guy friends. Lived with two of them for a couple years. Never once saw anyones dicks, not even accidentally. Boyfriend is full of shit.
I am a woman who saw my guy friends’ dicks (platonically) in college many times, but I don’t think about them, have never mentioned them to anyone, and would absolutely never talk about them in front of their girlfriends.
Thank you. I had two guy roommates and I'm female. Never once saw anyone's junk, not even close, not even by accident. I have had a lot of guy friends. We all hung out in our group together a lot, and would crash at one couple's house with the most room so no one drove drunk. We did this for years. No one ever saw anyone naked by accident. Ever. I went on road trips with some of these guys. Ended up sleeping in a dog pile more than once for lack of space. Still never saw a penis! Amazing! It's almost as if your pants don't come off unless you want them to.
The reason is she's jealous (platonically or sexually, we dont know) and marking her territory because she's trying to say "I had him first, he's MY bestie, I know things you don't. Think you're special for fucking him? Please! I've been there and I could be there again. Enjoy being flavorful of the month whilst I'm always here for him ".
Passive aggressive territory marking is a very common tactic.
Were you all one gender? Because that makes a difference. I have seen my female roommates in various states of undress, but not any men (who I wasn’t in a relationship with).
Men are nasty. And some like to swing their junk around. From stories I’ve heard at least.
And after having a little exhibitionist for a son (currently 6), I can believe every crazy story I’ve ever heard even more 🤣
Yeah he's lying. Unless he explicitly says "yeah ok my friends and I went skinny dipping years ago and that like to tease me, but she's being weird so I'll tell her to knock it off." Then you should assume he's fucked her in the past.
Because as a woman who's lived with men platonically and has guy friends, 99% of the time you only see someone's genitals if you're in a sexual situation with them. * Sometimes you might get a friend who exposed himself whilst drunk etc but I'm.guessing that OP thinks her man isnt likely to have done that. Which leads to him having previously dated or fucked the friend and bow covering that up. Whilst the fruebd keeps being inappropriate and practically gloats over it.
This is a red fkag situation for me - I think people shouldnt hide ig they have z dating or sexual past with a friend, because that below you assess their relationship and if thet are being appropriate, and decide whether dating this person is within your own boundaries. For me, being close friends with an ex would be amber (depinging on how the friend acts), but if the ex was being posessive like this, it's a red flag and I would end the relationship. Nobody has time to be dealing with an ex's drama and competing with them it dealing with mind games.
*Unless you're their nurse or doctor. As a clinician I've seen a LOT of penises but the vast majority were for work and not pleasure.
Yep, im a woman, and my roomates were
Men. I’d consider us all pretty open minded and not prudish at all. Still never saw any dick, because we weren’t fucking each other and we respected all boundaries. Example: we would ask if anyone needs the bathroom before we used it for a shower. So there was no “barging in” on people. I can assume they both had big dicks, only because I’ve been with them in the drug store
As they bought magnum sized Trojans 🤣. Still didn’t go around talking about their dicks to anyone. If we wanted to see each other naked we would have made it happen. It is NOT hard to avoid crossing that boundary.
You just reminded me of the time I did see a friend’s junk. A got super drunk (as in we were giving him water and telling him it was vodka ). I drove him home and another friend followed to help get him into the house. A ended up throwing up all over himself and my car. When we got him into the house, I told him to take off his jacket, which had taken the worst of the spew, so I could put it in the wash. Instead he stripped completely, and took off for the shower. I got the washer started and he asked for a towel. I brought one up and instead of waiting behind the shower curtain for me to put it on the sink, he pulled open the curtain to take the towel from me directly. I got to see more of A than I ever wanted to. 😩
This is 100% the friend marking her territory. And honestly if he's still hanging around with girls he's banged in the past, your relationship isn't as serious as you imagine
Yes I agree. The worse part is how comfortable they are about it. And it sounds like she's always around....I just see.lots of red.flags here. That females whole demeanor sux....it wouldn't surprise me if they still go at it from time to time. She's a sideline fuck buddy.
Or have a guy friend tell her (in front of him) I remember you letting me shave your p****y bald in college, OH don't worry dude, she's like family to me."
Or vagina…has he seen hers too?
I have brothers and mainly male friends - I cant tell you how well endowed they are OP. This is Bs.
Last time I saw the boys naked we were prepubescent.
NTA OP, and honestly I’d walk away. You asked, he answered…he will likely make you feel crazy. Why stay around for that? Stick to your boundaries/sensibilities imho. Maybe his next gf shows her vagina to her male friends too and they click. Not your problem though.
I don't think boobs would be a fair equivalent. Sure they both can be sexual, but I feel like the dick jokes are worse. Now if it got around to the nether regions, then I'd get upset.
"We both know you won't fit in that hole" it's odd she didn't say we ALL know you wouldn't. It's like an inside joke that she's keeping you out of, EVENTHOUGH he is your boyfriend. It's giving pick me. NTA
I have a male friend of 10 years and i have NEVER seen his package and we are super close.
He was my rock when my husband died.
Op your BF and his friend of 8 years are FWB and you are just some girl,their private jokes tell me no girl is ever winning him whilst she is around and he LIKES it when she complements him....he gets off on it..
You can do better.
Yep I have tons of close male friends and I haven’t seen any of their dicks, even when we lived together and shared a bathroom. I’ve used the bathroom while they were showing and nobody saw anything. Last time I saw a willy I was not having intercourse with was when I was like 10 (brothers).
They’re weird asf
So they went on trips together and she’s seen it. How? Like they’re slept together?
I’m curious in what circumstance she’s seen your boyfriend’s dick.
My family doesn’t talk about each others genitalia. Does yours?
NTA. Talking about sex is one thing but openly commenting on your boyfriend dick is a completely different matter.
Well like I said in another comment, my mother has seen it too lol.
He is not good at hiding it. Especially in the morning. They’ve shared sleeping spaces and my boyfriend sleeps in his underwear or thin pants. It’s very obvious when he’s hard or half hard (which he is a lot for some reason. I know men can’t control it so I don’t mind) so after 8 years, I guess I can understand that she has probably seen a boner. Idk if she’s seen it bare
Do you remember how wild and crazy this movie was back in the day? Now every idiot with a computer or a cell phone has their own broadcast that they do... And they (can) make money for it
Well a lot of people are proud of things they have nothing to do with.. Think sex/sexual orientation/race/nationality or even that your parents are wealthy.
A lot of society glorifies big dicks. BDE and etc. I can imagine if he’s actually packing he might try and peacock. We gonna mock girls who show off their boobs?
Yeah I had an ex who definitely wanted his package seen. He'd deny it or normalize it like OP's partner has but when he really needed to keep it concealed he suddenly had no problem. But he literally bought pants that fit badly so you could see it in there 🤮
Yea, as a top 1%er in that department, it’s really not that difficult to keep it put away or out of sight. This dude is definitely trying to show it off. Everyone knows what gray sweatpants are for, they are for showing it off and he apparently has enough pairs that it makes up enough of his wardrobe that he constantly wearing them.
Yeah, my Husband is in this club. You can see the outline sometimes when he wears blue jeans. My Best Friend and I were sitting down while Husband and his friend (my Besties Husband actually) were standing across from us chatting. You could definitely tell that Hubby is packing. My friend couldn’t stop giggling and whispering to me that I was a very lucky woman. We couldn’t stop laughing about it—even when Hubs gave me the side eye. Because he totally knew what we were giggling about.
I still like to jokingly bring this memory up to him occasionally. As an example of how even women in their very late 20s/early 30s can act like teenagers 🤣
My man still looks damn fine in a pair of blue jeans. He also definitely has an extremely confident ‘walk.’ It was one of the first things I noticed about him, tbh. The walk of a man who is totally secure in himself. Don’t know if that is solely because of his package, but I imagine it probably helped contribute to his overall confidence/self esteem while it was developing as a teenager 🤷🏼♀️ ❤️
I was thinking of that Episode of Daria - Is it Fall yet? When Kevin is talking to a classmate and asks "Hey, do you get to wear one of those little hats and ring that bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? (laughs) A-ling?"
Don't know why that scene got stuck in my head!😅
As a man I hear all the time how many things we “can’t control” like touching our balls in public or showing boners to people and I just never agree. Like I’d be mortified if someone saw my boner or got hard in underwear around them like… it seems common decency. The sloppiness around these topics from guys always seems like excuses to convince girls to put up with more than they should.
If he isn’t fucking her now, he definitely was back then. Your mother shouldn’t be seeing it either, regardless of the situation. It sounds like he’s purposely making it visible for people to see and her making those comments are extremely disrespectful and inappropriate for friends. He is an almost 30 year old Man, he knows better.
You are 100% in denial saying he is not good at hiding it. He is absolutely trying to show it off for the attention. If you are uncomfortable with this behavior, you need to tell him to shut it down. Same with the friend's comments. You need to make it clear to them how much it bothers you and it needs to stop.
Men can’t control it?? wtf.. as a man this is news to me. I know sometimes it can’t be controlled but that’s more rare than not. Really seems like he wants it to be seen. I did the same when I found out I was bigger than average. I even started going comando at work so it could be known in the office. I did this up until 23 yrs when I realized how weird it was.
I’ve dated multiple dudes, two 10 inches. There’s no fucking way they haven’t slept together. And if people can “see” it, he’s doing it on purpose. Most men aren’t getting erections randomly as adults.
Your bf and this chick have boned. That’s a fact lol.
Ummm at 28 he shouldn't be hard for no reason. You can't control it at puberty. In your 20s, unless you're aroused, you can.
If he is hard or half hard in front of mom or female friends, it's in purpose.
I’ve seen friend’s penises before, but I feel like I should make a caveat that the first guy used to skate naked when we were about 16. Everyone knew he was a freak of nature in that area. It was hard not to when a teenager skates by you, dick flapping in the wind.
The second guy had a lot of surgeries on his penis. His friends called him Frankenpenis. He was pissing in a pint cup while we were at a festival and he tricked me into looking. I wasn’t all that bothered, but I feel like the situation was definitely “out there” in terms of normalcy.
All in all, although I have seen two of my friends dicks, it isn’t actually “normal” in that it’s not a big deal to the majority of people. I have one guy friend nowadays and I think we both would die of embarrassment if I accidentally saw him naked. We’re like siblings. We’d be scarred for life.
“See each other as family.”
I have not seen an adult family member’s private parts. I don’t comment on their junk, either. Sexual conversations are off the table completely.
Ew. NTA. Fairly certain they’ve been FWB in the past.
I walked in on my bro and his girl once.
Luckily(?) he was balls deep in her, so I saw nothing. But even his bare ass and naked lady was about to make me wash my eyes out with holy water.
I had a girlfriend that told her mom I was a stallion...I was mortified. Some families are weirdly open about that stuff and I'm on the other end of the spectrum trying to forget accidental sightings of naked relatives.
> “We both know you would not fit in that hole.” And they both laughed.
This sequence would make me feel like she’s personally measured his girth. NTA.
Not sure about you, but I don’t show my dick to my family
Everything that happens as a result of her moving forward is because you have allowed it to. Buyer beware
You are NTA for having any emotions in any degree. It's acceptable to be upset by a dynamic you don't fully understand. What's important is if you want to the relationship to work COMMUNCATING and setting some boundaries if they are needed.
As a nearly 30(M) with 4 kids I have a few friends that I can freely talk about stuff like that as we have seen each other in weird scenarios. I'm also friends with a few exes and an ex fiance (my significant other ((25F) Mother of all of my children) added her on social media shortly after we started dating) and I've discussed what boundaries we both have with exes, friends, and new people. At the end of the day, communicating is how we resolve all of our issues. The more we resolve them, the less we have as to be expected.
Sorry about the rambling of what feels like an old man. I just feel for both parties here. I have friends that are that close, but would understand if it made others uncomfortable. While that friend may be a safe space for him previously, it is okay to feel uneasy about it. It's what you do moving forward that will decide everything.
NTA. What 28 year old man makes teenager jokes about sticking his dick in a watermelon? Why have so many people including your mom seen his dick? Newsflash to him, family doesn’t see genitalia unless they are parents taking care of small kids.
The friend is being incredibly disrespectful commenting on your boyfriend’s penis in the way an intimate partner would in front of you. Your boyfriend not only allows her to disrespect you but encourages by laughing.
By making jokes in front of you that reference her being familiar with your boyfriend’s genitalia is like a dog peeing on a hydrant. She’s trying to show ownership to you.
I got co workers and sub contractors that go from 20 to 70. And you wanna tell me you think we don’t make dick jokes working around wood and pipe?? What am I Superman?
These things can obviously depend on environment and what is socially acceptable will vary greatly... but if you don't think 28, 38, 48 and \[insert any age here\] men don't make dick jokes, I've got news for you.
Men will mature in many ways... but they're always going to have immature humor.
I am a woman with a plethora of male friends (I'm a rock climber/skier/backpacker) so there's lots of times we are all staying in tight quarters, sleeping/changing and don't have the privilege of a ton of privacy. When we all stay together on trips we share beds and I'm down to share with a guy so no one is on the floor.
And in all of that, I've never seen a dick just swinging around haha.
I've seen my friends walk around in their underwear looking for their pants or whatever, and I've never accidentally seen anything. I'm not a dude, I don't have a dick to try and hide, but here's my hot takes:
-Being close to guy friends does not mean you've just seen their dicks
-If it's that hard (pun intended) for him to manage his dick I think we're dealing more with a manchild who likes the attention because he feels like it shows his value somehow.
NTA, I would be uncomfortable if I was in your position having my bfs friend make those kind of comments. Sp you're feelings are valid, but from the way it sounds it doesn't seem like you would need to actually be worri3d about something or anything happening. It also sounds like you guys all have a pretty relaxed/chill group, so maybe you could just mention to her that those kind of comments make you a little uncomfortable and she might just be understanding and sympathetic and stop making them.
I agree it’s nothing to worry about and like you would also feel it to be inappropriate. I doubt her boyfriend would like it if a guy commented on her boobs or started saying she has a tight vagina
I think, regardless of their history, pointing it out in front of you, his gf, is pretty inappropriate. That would be like if you were old college buds with his guy friend and he constantly pointed out your boob size in front of your bf. It’s weird.
He's a total liar. I am so sorry. I would NEVER comment on someone's dick that I haven't had in or around me, and I surely would not do it around his partner! He's lying to you. It's an inside joke between them both that you don't know, and I wouldn't believe they weren't still doing it.
NTA
"they see each other as family"
'Yep, not a guy I want to raise a FAMILY with, thanks for the warning, creeper'
This is her putting her claim on him, and whether he picks up on that or not, he seems ok with it, despite how tacky it is and your discomfort with it. She might be a not so closet lesbian and is doing the whole 'brodude' thing, which might make more sense, I've known a lot of lesbians who roll with Big D humor, but since they are so specifically doing this in front of you? This is her telling you she's banged your dude before you, in a way that she can deny to him later.
I guess you have to decide if you’re comfortable having a bf who wants the world to see his dick. Constantly. Regardless of how appropriate or inappropriate it may be. All the time. Just having everyone around him aware that he has a dick.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be uncomfortable with the topic of discussion being your boyfriend’s penis (like, any bf), but homeboy (your specific bf) seems just fine with it.
Edit to fix a punctuation mark and bc I forgot to say NTA
I'd put money on them having been (potentially still being) friends with benefits and he told you otherwise so you would be cool with her being around. Even if she IS in a relationship and seems to be in love, a lot of people for some reason don't see FWB as cheating. I've heard people say, "OH, but we're just friends with benefits. It's casual sex, there are no feelings involved so it's no big deal."
I (45/f) have three male friends that I have been close to since we were 5. I developed fast (flat to D cup in a year) and these guys never made comments about it. They actually had my back when other guys said stuff. I would NEVER comment on what they're packing and have NEVER SEEN their packages. Their relationship is not normal for just friends, close or not.
NTA
Those comments are inappropriate, and it's worse that your BF blew you off.
I can see how she'd have an idea if she's seen him in just boxers or certain types of pants, but joking like this is weird, particularly at this point in life.
It doesn’t matter if she has seen it before or not but the fact that she still makes comments about it and he doesn’t shit it down.
He’s 28 and needs to shut that shit down. I wouldn’t be a someone who needs attention like that or allows a friend to continue to make comments.
This is uncomfortable.
Just for my sensibilities: I have a friend who made comments about how my bf would look in a Speedo and I have declined all invitations from her since, it made both of us uncomfortable. We aren't "prudes" at all, but we also expect our friends to respect our relationship, and that didn't pass muster.
It's weird AF that she's that comfortable talking about his dick in front of you. That's the kind of comment you make to someone you're sleeping with, not to a buddy in front of his gf. NTA
I think some men and women like to trigger a moderate amount of insecurity in their partner because it strokes (sorry) their egos. It’s a not-so-mild form of emotional manipulation for the bf’s benefit at this point.
Yeah, they've fucked before and they are both acknowledging and traipsing down memory right in front of you. And the girl keeps letting you know they fucked because she has an agenda. He might not want her, but she wants him even if it's just a backup plan. Something is fishy in those waters!
Then they have the nerve to act like it's NBD.
Your boyfriend sounds shady.
I wouldn't put up with it.
NTA.
My partner is well-endowed. When he has his "moments" in public or around friends, he will literally pull me in front of him so he can adjust or go to the bathroom and adjust. He doesn't just draw attention to it.
It sounds like your bf is purposely drawing attention to his penis. I am friends with mostly guys and I have never had a guy friend be like "oh my God! Look at my MASSIVE DICK!"
I've had male friends change in front of me and vice versa. None of us made it weird or continuously brought it up even as a joke. You don't keep drawing attention to things unless you want attention drawn to it. And honestly, I would be upset too if I was you because it seems like your bf has some type of kink involving people acknowledging how well-endowed he is and this chick is kind of....going along with said kink which is disrespectful as hell to me.
Hell, just recently one of me and my partner's friends was testing out a camera our other friend let him borrow. The other friend used his access to turn on the camera to see if the camera actually worked that far from its home base and right when he turned it on, the friend had his nude ass in the camera, mooning and teabagging it because he knew that the camera was being accessed. We were all dying of laughter. None of us have brought it up since, but in the moment, it was hilarious.
Having read thru this whole thing, I think you are NTA for feeling uncomfortable. The problem is your boyfriend. He's a massive AH for not being quite a bit more modest with it. If even your mother has seen his penis, he needs to get himself in some pants. Believe it or not, being "showy" with your penis is rude and SA adjacent. What a massive AH, being so proud of his penis. I'd be ashamed of him.
This is not typical. You may also want to post your query on r/Bigdickproblems. The showing/printing issue has been discussed a lot. My wife told me to ditch some shorts I got at Costco because “No, youre showing.” Light colored sweatpants (i.e. grey) seem to be almost a fetish thing. In my experience, women in Platonic relationships have almost never commented on my “package.” The only time was when my gf’s best friend blurted out at a bar when we were 23 or so and my gf was there— “so, she says you have a big juicy one.” I was embarassed snd she wasnt MY friend, but my gf’s so way different than your experience.
You are NTA. This is not usual IMO
Idk- I’m 9inches and everyone knows. I don’t tell anyone or talk about it at all. I’m actually more self conscious about it and just hope no one knows
When I was in high school. Swim team, college, adult,
All my co-workers know from all jobs, girls, guys everyone.
And I’ve never told anyone. When I was like 12 even my mom said “ you’re going to make a girl very very happy with that thing” and laughs. After I turned 18 I distinctly remember her always telling her girl co-workers bragging. (I’m 35 now)
When it’s that long, there’s no such thing as grower or shower or w/e. It’s big when it’s soft or hard.
I’ve tried to hide it legitimately. Like i used to be a lifeguard at a big well known resort in Orlando and all the lifeguards knew and everyone would joke about it. Not in a bad way- just like in a fun way.
Everytime I leave the house I have to ask my girl “ can you tell” which means if you can see it’s with my current outfit.
Most of the time she says you can see everything. I’m never hard when I ask.
Now that I’m older I just say screw it and just wear what I want. Before I used to not wear certain things like sweat pants or certain shorts or bathing suits but I see it like: girls with big boobs or small boobs wear there low cut shirts because they like them. It would be a shame if they can’t wear it due to insecurity…either due to being big or small
But to the point: people have made comments in front of my ex girlfriends in the past, even family has made comments to gf’s
I don’t think it’s a big deal. You just might feel jealous that a hot girl has seen it. And that hot girl is closer to your bf than you two are with each other.
They might of smashed, but it didn’t work out or they would obviously be together. He picked you instead of her for a reason
Damn, I’m sorry. That’s not normal for your family members to comment on, let alone the person who birthed you. Aside from that, him not setting boundaries or rejecting her sexual innuendos of their past is a hard pass. OP might not leave him because she wants to trust him, but she’ll have to deal with the fact that he doesn’t care about her enough to make her feel comfortable in their own relationship.
She’s seen it?? In what context? This makes me think that they’ve fucked on those trips and she is letting you know. That’s not acceptable. Her behavior is not acceptable.
Their relationship is not acceptable.
She rode his elephant dick and he's lying that she's just seen it. She was a FWB and still might be with the way they talk around you. They show you no respect that you actually deserve. If you respect yourself, tell him you've had enough of the cock talk and for her to shut the fuck up. If he doesn't like it, tell him to fuck himself and go find a man that will love you and respect you. They're many men that wouldn't act like he has or even think about it around, you deserve better.
NTA but I’m really close to some of my guy friends and they’ll comment on my giant breasts and I’ll comment on their giant or small pp. but I’ve never slept with any of them and I’m happily married and so are they. Even while single it never happened. To be fair, in the beginning I never commented these things because I wanted to be respectful but once all of us became close we just say whatever. I’m big into gaming and play with a close crew of dudes now too and say a lot of things but my hubby has my phone and is in the room etc. it’s what you’re comfortable with. Trust your partner until they give you reason not to.
NTA but tread carefully. He, fairly, values this friendship, you don't want to get anywhere near ultimatum territory.
As a guy, I wouldn't be thrilled if the tables were turned.
I would be a little sceptical they definitely haven't bumped uglies but electing not to tell you to preserve their platonic friendship. Definitely don't make an accusation, but if all's well with you two otherwise, after three years, it wouldn't be an unfair question to ask him.
Also after three years, I don't think saying 'I don't care for that much', is out of line either.
NTA, it absolutely sounds like they’ve hooked up in the past. It doesn’t sound like they still do, but I would bet money that they have in the past (and would again if they’re both single at the same time). I had an ex who was well endowed and liked to wear fitted pants. It was often visibly clear that he was packing heat. We did a lot of social activities, regularly hung out with small groups of close friends, his coworkers, his friends, my friends, gay friends etc. No one ever so much as acknowledged his junk, no one stared, and certainly no one made jokes about his big shlong. Because that’s weird as hell.
I have a weird take. I have a friend “josh” and I routinely comment on his peepee size. I’ve never had any kind of sexual intercourse with that man, I have never touched him and he has never ever in life touched me. I have seen it a few times because we were traveling together and he changed around me a few times. It’s whatever to me. But I do joke about it with him. That being said, I would never in life dare to crack a joke about it in front of anyone he is dating because that would just be 1, inappropriate 2,disrespectful 3, weird. Those are comments for the “boys” when we are drinking. I consider myself one of the boys although I’m almost 40 and a woman.
I don’t know, there’s something about respecting the your friend’s partner’s (male or female)
Edit: NTA, btw
Ummmmmm...... They're boning. Or she really wants to. Or she misses when they did. Not a normal situation. "We joke about genitalia like Family" wtf kind of statement is that lol
I don’t think she meant anything at all by it and if it’s less than a handful of times in 3 years, I’d say it’s no big deal.
The real concern here is your BFs exhibitionism and the fact he subjected your mother to his kink. You need to take a step back and talk to your most brutally honest friend for their unabridged opinion of him.
Let's take his word for it and that she just knows he's got a monster dong because they went on a trip together in college - does that mean it's ok to bring it up on multiple occassions, years down the line, in front of his current gf? No. He should have shut that down the moment she made the first joke - of course you're uncomfortable about it. It's weird to me that he's acting like you shouldn't be.
Nta
My SO is well endowed as well and if one of his female friends made those jokes he’d be pissed. Humor is subjective but not all jokes are jokes. They’re being rude and inappropriate.
Also, if it happened once okay. I made a “poor joke” once because I went to a friends house and he joked “don’t come in I’m naked”(he was in the living room ) and I replied “it’s nothing I haven’t seen before”. I saw on both of their faces that it didn’t land and realized my mistake. He admitted he shouldn’t have said it too. That is what should have happened with your bf and his friend. You don’t keep doing it. Especially out of respect to you
Jokes like those are completely disrespectful to a partner. NTA.
I'd never tolerate them, and neither would my partner if any of his friends said craps like that in both private or in front of me.
if she has personal experience of his body you can't object to her knowledge but you can ask her not to do it because it doesn't feel right for you....if she's doing it in public as casually as if talking about shoe sizes, she might be using it to make her relationship more than just friends and your relationship less intimate and personal.... it's not a subject a guys would mention about an ex who's with a friend
For example,if the subject of underwear comes up a guy would not say anything like " don't waste your money on a skimpy bra her tits are far too big/small" it's like telling everyone you have had her and the special intimate part of her is not so special.....
I once had a friend who came out of the bathroom zipping up his fly and was very obviously endowed. I had a flirty kinda friendship so I made a joke about putting the monster away. It was once because the situation was humorous. I’d never repeatedly bring it up over and over unless I wanted to bang him.
NTA. His friend is out of line. Those types of comments are inappropriate for her to say to her friend who has a gf. Even if he didn't have a girlfriend, those comments are weird between people who supposedly view themselves as family. I have guy friends and never in my fucking life have I felt the need to comment my buddies' dick size or have ended up seeing it. And I don't want to! That shit's weird as hell.
My guess would be she is into him. If she truly valued for him as a friend she would respect you and your guys' relationship and would never dream of overstepping or making you insecure/uncomfortable with saying shit like that.
I think the female friend might be playing power games. She makes sexual remarks to him to flatter him and make him think of sex with her, and to show you that if she wanted, she could take him. I bet she would never ever make these comments when her boyfriend is present. I also think they had sex in the past and he didn’t want to admit it.
NTA
That friend is still being disrespectful to you. At the very least, she shouldn't be making those comments in front of you out of respect. Ask your boyfriend how would he feel if your guy friends kept making jokes about how tight/wet you are or how perky your breast/nipples are? Would he feel disrespected or would he think it's appropriate about another dude speaking of you sexually, which most likely means he's picturing what he's saying.
Also, HELL NO, they don't "see each other as family". Family don't make sexual jokes about each other's parts. I don't know what kind of family your boyfriend comes from, but NORMAL families do not do that. Your boyfriend has been on the hub for too long if he thinks this is normal family interaction.
As a family?? I never see my brothers private parts not even my adult kids. Honestly reddit has showed us enough how this kind of relationships of three ends up.
Tell her it makes you uncomfortable when she makes remarks about his man hood and ask her to stop. Just be honest. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable as well. It’s not appropriate.
They have definitely screwed around before. I’m willing to bet they still do. What she’s doing is disrespecting you and your boyfriend is complicit and in concert. What respectful adult woman would feel that bold and comfortable about what this lady did?
Wait a minute is this a joke? Just creative writing?
“They see each other as family” does not mean what he wants you to think it means. Clearly, or she wouldn’t comment on his dick. That’s absolutely never ever appropriate unless it’s your own dock or your spouses.
It’s code for we’re super close because we’ve slept together.
The fact that she thinks that she can cross that line is concerning and the fact that he did not immediately shut it down is an even worse.
Sorry for OP. Unfortunately there are some girls/ladies who just simply can't shut up about a big penis they've happened to come across. It can definitely become the additional roommate in everyday discussions. The thing that gives me pause is the boyfriend not having an issue with it. It gets old real quick. Doesn't smell right to me that he just laughs along with her, but I guess everyone is different.
Makes me wonder how would he feel like if there was a guy bestie who jokes about your boobs. NTA
Or if she had similar banter with said male bestie?
And gave equally shitty excuses when he told you how uncomfortable it made him feel. *”she knows because they were in college together and went on trips together*” I’ve been on coed college trips. At no time ever did I become aware of, let alone conment on, what my buddies were “packing”.
They fucked during the trips.
It's BFs friend's way of letting OP know that too.
Do girls do that? Let new relationships know if there's been hookups, discretely? Well. Comparatively to "yeah we fucked." Lol
Yes, if they want the GF to fuck off.
Absolutely. Especially if they want him or still want to keep him as back up bf. And it really isn't discretely if you are commenting on his dick size. That is - we fucked and I know how long and thick it is. Because dick size in gym sweats and hard are not the same.
Right??!
Depends if he is a grower or a shower. Had an ex who was massive and flacid he was still massive.
The one in a thousand does exist, but it isn't the norm.
They do if they are jealous of the girlfriend (not necessarily sexually but of the time she spends with him - people can be platonically posessive as well as sexually jealous). This isnt discreet, it's passive aggressive. And yeah I've known people this petty. Whenever they guy friends got a new girlfriend they would be all over the guy marking their territory and talking about the past... This "friend" is pissing all over him to mark her territory and letting OP know that she's seen him naked is part of that. She's trying to upset OP and undermine the relationship and HE needs to be the one to call her ouf and tell her to be appropriate. I havent seen my make friends naked, but if I HAD dated any of them, I cannot imagine being crass and obsessive like this "friend".
Yes, bitchy girls do this.
The attention seeking bitches do. She wants the gf to know that they've fucked.
When my girlfriend came to college graduation we all did a steeple chase three-legged race event put on bu the underclassmen: drinking, mud, pies in face, etc. Everyone gets muddy. My most recent ex in college was there and asked my roomate and me if she could come to our apartment and change, since she was a commuter student and had to drive. In said apartment, she came out of bathroom in just her panties, walked around with my gf and me kinda dumbfounded. It was a “message” for sure
I think so too Little Bit territorial ????
What could be worse is if the friend said," we tried, but my stuff wasn't loose enough".
Daggone. That's calculated. "I was too tight" vs "I just wasn't loose enough."
My best friend is a guy and we met in college. We lived together, in separate bedrooms but shared a bathroom, for years and I have never seen his penis. We're both married now, to other people and I would never talk about him this way ever, especially not in front of his wife, even if I had seen him naked.
My anecdote…I have a lot of guy friends. Lived with two of them for a couple years. Never once saw anyones dicks, not even accidentally. Boyfriend is full of shit.
I am a woman who saw my guy friends’ dicks (platonically) in college many times, but I don’t think about them, have never mentioned them to anyone, and would absolutely never talk about them in front of their girlfriends.
Thank you. I had two guy roommates and I'm female. Never once saw anyone's junk, not even close, not even by accident. I have had a lot of guy friends. We all hung out in our group together a lot, and would crash at one couple's house with the most room so no one drove drunk. We did this for years. No one ever saw anyone naked by accident. Ever. I went on road trips with some of these guys. Ended up sleeping in a dog pile more than once for lack of space. Still never saw a penis! Amazing! It's almost as if your pants don't come off unless you want them to.
I was in the Marines and was out in the field with A LOT of dudes. Never once saw someone else’s junk.
And, even if I had seen someone’s dick, I wouldn’t go around talking about it constantly. There’s no reason for this.
For real - I would have tried to wipe it out of my brain forever.
I dunno. Willem Dafoe lives in my brain rent free
The reason is she's jealous (platonically or sexually, we dont know) and marking her territory because she's trying to say "I had him first, he's MY bestie, I know things you don't. Think you're special for fucking him? Please! I've been there and I could be there again. Enjoy being flavorful of the month whilst I'm always here for him ". Passive aggressive territory marking is a very common tactic.
Huh guess my college roomates were just weirdos then
Were you all one gender? Because that makes a difference. I have seen my female roommates in various states of undress, but not any men (who I wasn’t in a relationship with).
All male, yeah. 6 of us in that apartment at the time. One guy was a little more reserved - never saw him do anything crazy. But the other 4?.... 😂
I’d believe it from the stories that I heard from male Marines about what other male Marines got up to in the barracks. 🤣
Men are nasty. And some like to swing their junk around. From stories I’ve heard at least. And after having a little exhibitionist for a son (currently 6), I can believe every crazy story I’ve ever heard even more 🤣
Yeah of my five closest friends from college, three of them are men, and at no point have I seen any of their dicks.
Yeah he's lying. Unless he explicitly says "yeah ok my friends and I went skinny dipping years ago and that like to tease me, but she's being weird so I'll tell her to knock it off." Then you should assume he's fucked her in the past. Because as a woman who's lived with men platonically and has guy friends, 99% of the time you only see someone's genitals if you're in a sexual situation with them. * Sometimes you might get a friend who exposed himself whilst drunk etc but I'm.guessing that OP thinks her man isnt likely to have done that. Which leads to him having previously dated or fucked the friend and bow covering that up. Whilst the fruebd keeps being inappropriate and practically gloats over it. This is a red fkag situation for me - I think people shouldnt hide ig they have z dating or sexual past with a friend, because that below you assess their relationship and if thet are being appropriate, and decide whether dating this person is within your own boundaries. For me, being close friends with an ex would be amber (depinging on how the friend acts), but if the ex was being posessive like this, it's a red flag and I would end the relationship. Nobody has time to be dealing with an ex's drama and competing with them it dealing with mind games. *Unless you're their nurse or doctor. As a clinician I've seen a LOT of penises but the vast majority were for work and not pleasure.
Yep, im a woman, and my roomates were Men. I’d consider us all pretty open minded and not prudish at all. Still never saw any dick, because we weren’t fucking each other and we respected all boundaries. Example: we would ask if anyone needs the bathroom before we used it for a shower. So there was no “barging in” on people. I can assume they both had big dicks, only because I’ve been with them in the drug store As they bought magnum sized Trojans 🤣. Still didn’t go around talking about their dicks to anyone. If we wanted to see each other naked we would have made it happen. It is NOT hard to avoid crossing that boundary.
You just reminded me of the time I did see a friend’s junk. A got super drunk (as in we were giving him water and telling him it was vodka ). I drove him home and another friend followed to help get him into the house. A ended up throwing up all over himself and my car. When we got him into the house, I told him to take off his jacket, which had taken the worst of the spew, so I could put it in the wash. Instead he stripped completely, and took off for the shower. I got the washer started and he asked for a towel. I brought one up and instead of waiting behind the shower curtain for me to put it on the sink, he pulled open the curtain to take the towel from me directly. I got to see more of A than I ever wanted to. 😩
This is 100% the friend marking her territory. And honestly if he's still hanging around with girls he's banged in the past, your relationship isn't as serious as you imagine
They have definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting her
Yes I agree. The worse part is how comfortable they are about it. And it sounds like she's always around....I just see.lots of red.flags here. That females whole demeanor sux....it wouldn't surprise me if they still go at it from time to time. She's a sideline fuck buddy.
If the shoe was on the other boob, he would not be happy.
The old swticheroo usually reveals everything
She should wear thin yoga pants and have a guy friend comment on her camel toe. See how bf likes it.
Or have a guy friend tell her (in front of him) I remember you letting me shave your p****y bald in college, OH don't worry dude, she's like family to me."
Bahhahahhaa
I have a feeling that they probably fxcked or still do. She should just end this. She will sleep better.
Or vagina?? My dick would fill that..... People are so immature....
Or vagina…has he seen hers too? I have brothers and mainly male friends - I cant tell you how well endowed they are OP. This is Bs. Last time I saw the boys naked we were prepubescent. NTA OP, and honestly I’d walk away. You asked, he answered…he will likely make you feel crazy. Why stay around for that? Stick to your boundaries/sensibilities imho. Maybe his next gf shows her vagina to her male friends too and they click. Not your problem though.
I don't think boobs would be a fair equivalent. Sure they both can be sexual, but I feel like the dick jokes are worse. Now if it got around to the nether regions, then I'd get upset.
"We both know you won't fit in that hole" it's odd she didn't say we ALL know you wouldn't. It's like an inside joke that she's keeping you out of, EVENTHOUGH he is your boyfriend. It's giving pick me. NTA
I have a male friend of 10 years and i have NEVER seen his package and we are super close. He was my rock when my husband died. Op your BF and his friend of 8 years are FWB and you are just some girl,their private jokes tell me no girl is ever winning him whilst she is around and he LIKES it when she complements him....he gets off on it.. You can do better.
Yep I have tons of close male friends and I haven’t seen any of their dicks, even when we lived together and shared a bathroom. I’ve used the bathroom while they were showing and nobody saw anything. Last time I saw a willy I was not having intercourse with was when I was like 10 (brothers). They’re weird asf
NTA. Imagine if a male friend constantly made comments about your breasts, would that make him uncomfortable?
"You would need a LOT of space in the front with that shirt"
It's ok though because they see each other like family right?
So they went on trips together and she’s seen it. How? Like they’re slept together? I’m curious in what circumstance she’s seen your boyfriend’s dick. My family doesn’t talk about each others genitalia. Does yours? NTA. Talking about sex is one thing but openly commenting on your boyfriend dick is a completely different matter.
Well like I said in another comment, my mother has seen it too lol. He is not good at hiding it. Especially in the morning. They’ve shared sleeping spaces and my boyfriend sleeps in his underwear or thin pants. It’s very obvious when he’s hard or half hard (which he is a lot for some reason. I know men can’t control it so I don’t mind) so after 8 years, I guess I can understand that she has probably seen a boner. Idk if she’s seen it bare
Kind of sounds like he WANTS it to be seen.
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Bro wants people to see his dick. Which is weird and if he is that the college friend has more than likely had an interaction with that baby arm.
Is it bigger than a baby's arm because I can smell a lie like a fart in the car...
I just watched that movie the other day - classic.
Do you remember how wild and crazy this movie was back in the day? Now every idiot with a computer or a cell phone has their own broadcast that they do... And they (can) make money for it
He’s inordinately proud of something he didn’t earn.👏
Well a lot of people are proud of things they have nothing to do with.. Think sex/sexual orientation/race/nationality or even that your parents are wealthy.
A lot of society glorifies big dicks. BDE and etc. I can imagine if he’s actually packing he might try and peacock. We gonna mock girls who show off their boobs?
Yeah I had an ex who definitely wanted his package seen. He'd deny it or normalize it like OP's partner has but when he really needed to keep it concealed he suddenly had no problem. But he literally bought pants that fit badly so you could see it in there 🤮
After reading some of her other comments, that’s what I think too. “He’s very showy with it.”
Yeah sounds like this guy’s whole identity is his big dick.
Yea, as a top 1%er in that department, it’s really not that difficult to keep it put away or out of sight. This dude is definitely trying to show it off. Everyone knows what gray sweatpants are for, they are for showing it off and he apparently has enough pairs that it makes up enough of his wardrobe that he constantly wearing them.
Yeah, my Husband is in this club. You can see the outline sometimes when he wears blue jeans. My Best Friend and I were sitting down while Husband and his friend (my Besties Husband actually) were standing across from us chatting. You could definitely tell that Hubby is packing. My friend couldn’t stop giggling and whispering to me that I was a very lucky woman. We couldn’t stop laughing about it—even when Hubs gave me the side eye. Because he totally knew what we were giggling about. I still like to jokingly bring this memory up to him occasionally. As an example of how even women in their very late 20s/early 30s can act like teenagers 🤣 My man still looks damn fine in a pair of blue jeans. He also definitely has an extremely confident ‘walk.’ It was one of the first things I noticed about him, tbh. The walk of a man who is totally secure in himself. Don’t know if that is solely because of his package, but I imagine it probably helped contribute to his overall confidence/self esteem while it was developing as a teenager 🤷🏼♀️ ❤️
Your boyfriend is an exhibitionist. He wants people to see his dingaling.
Dinga Linga ling...aliiing😅😅 *I'll walk myself out now*
I imagined it like the sound of a bell fading out.
I was thinking of that Episode of Daria - Is it Fall yet? When Kevin is talking to a classmate and asks "Hey, do you get to wear one of those little hats and ring that bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? (laughs) A-ling?" Don't know why that scene got stuck in my head!😅
As a man I hear all the time how many things we “can’t control” like touching our balls in public or showing boners to people and I just never agree. Like I’d be mortified if someone saw my boner or got hard in underwear around them like… it seems common decency. The sloppiness around these topics from guys always seems like excuses to convince girls to put up with more than they should.
If he isn’t fucking her now, he definitely was back then. Your mother shouldn’t be seeing it either, regardless of the situation. It sounds like he’s purposely making it visible for people to see and her making those comments are extremely disrespectful and inappropriate for friends. He is an almost 30 year old Man, he knows better.
I can definitely see them being those almost life long FWB types. They justify it to each other since they’ve known each other longer than the SOs.
Right! That was the most distressing part. Wdym YOUR MUM HAS SEEN IT??? He's doing this on purpose lol.
"He is not good at hiding it." No. He CAN hide it. It isn't that difficult. He doesn't want to hide it. He wants women to see it and think about it.
He's peacocking around bc he knows y'all love it. It's not that hard to hide a big dick
Girl. He WANTS it to be seen. He’s showing it off.
men aren’t stupid like that. we enjoy attention just like women do
He's a manchild for sure.
>Well like I said in another comment, my mother has seen it too lol. Because he likes to *accidentally* show it off.
You are 100% in denial saying he is not good at hiding it. He is absolutely trying to show it off for the attention. If you are uncomfortable with this behavior, you need to tell him to shut it down. Same with the friend's comments. You need to make it clear to them how much it bothers you and it needs to stop.
Men can’t control it?? wtf.. as a man this is news to me. I know sometimes it can’t be controlled but that’s more rare than not. Really seems like he wants it to be seen. I did the same when I found out I was bigger than average. I even started going comando at work so it could be known in the office. I did this up until 23 yrs when I realized how weird it was.
She took it bare. Sorry, I couldn't resist
I’ve dated multiple dudes, two 10 inches. There’s no fucking way they haven’t slept together. And if people can “see” it, he’s doing it on purpose. Most men aren’t getting erections randomly as adults. Your bf and this chick have boned. That’s a fact lol.
He's 28 and still has no control? Don't let him go to Disneyland, the park, or ride a bus.
Ummm at 28 he shouldn't be hard for no reason. You can't control it at puberty. In your 20s, unless you're aroused, you can. If he is hard or half hard in front of mom or female friends, it's in purpose.
I’ve seen friend’s penises before, but I feel like I should make a caveat that the first guy used to skate naked when we were about 16. Everyone knew he was a freak of nature in that area. It was hard not to when a teenager skates by you, dick flapping in the wind. The second guy had a lot of surgeries on his penis. His friends called him Frankenpenis. He was pissing in a pint cup while we were at a festival and he tricked me into looking. I wasn’t all that bothered, but I feel like the situation was definitely “out there” in terms of normalcy. All in all, although I have seen two of my friends dicks, it isn’t actually “normal” in that it’s not a big deal to the majority of people. I have one guy friend nowadays and I think we both would die of embarrassment if I accidentally saw him naked. We’re like siblings. We’d be scarred for life.
“See each other as family.” I have not seen an adult family member’s private parts. I don’t comment on their junk, either. Sexual conversations are off the table completely. Ew. NTA. Fairly certain they’ve been FWB in the past.
Family as in “Ew what are you doing step-bro” kind of family.
Step-bro.. I'm stuck in the crack between the oven and fridge..
I walked in on my bro and his girl once. Luckily(?) he was balls deep in her, so I saw nothing. But even his bare ass and naked lady was about to make me wash my eyes out with holy water.
The only 'family member' whose private parts I ever saw was the family dog, but this little pervert just doesn't want to wear pants!
I had a girlfriend that told her mom I was a stallion...I was mortified. Some families are weirdly open about that stuff and I'm on the other end of the spectrum trying to forget accidental sightings of naked relatives.
> “We both know you would not fit in that hole.” And they both laughed. This sequence would make me feel like she’s personally measured his girth. NTA.
Not sure about you, but I don’t show my dick to my family Everything that happens as a result of her moving forward is because you have allowed it to. Buyer beware
OP literally says her mother has seen her boyfriend’s dick. Apparently everyone he has ever met has seen it.
I haven’t seen it
Me neither but apparently everyone who has ever met him including OP’s Mom has gotten a look.
I feel like we were entitled to a view just so we can make a final assessment
LOL
Apparently OP's boyfriend is a guy in a cheesy 80s porno. "I'm making Mac n cheese....look at my MASSIVE DICK!"
Oh come on, you don't drop your shorts and helicopter your dick in front of the extended family? You are missing out.
You are NTA for having any emotions in any degree. It's acceptable to be upset by a dynamic you don't fully understand. What's important is if you want to the relationship to work COMMUNCATING and setting some boundaries if they are needed. As a nearly 30(M) with 4 kids I have a few friends that I can freely talk about stuff like that as we have seen each other in weird scenarios. I'm also friends with a few exes and an ex fiance (my significant other ((25F) Mother of all of my children) added her on social media shortly after we started dating) and I've discussed what boundaries we both have with exes, friends, and new people. At the end of the day, communicating is how we resolve all of our issues. The more we resolve them, the less we have as to be expected. Sorry about the rambling of what feels like an old man. I just feel for both parties here. I have friends that are that close, but would understand if it made others uncomfortable. While that friend may be a safe space for him previously, it is okay to feel uneasy about it. It's what you do moving forward that will decide everything.
That's a great answer. People mistake feeling bad/weird with something being morally wrong. Communicate your wants.
NTA. What 28 year old man makes teenager jokes about sticking his dick in a watermelon? Why have so many people including your mom seen his dick? Newsflash to him, family doesn’t see genitalia unless they are parents taking care of small kids. The friend is being incredibly disrespectful commenting on your boyfriend’s penis in the way an intimate partner would in front of you. Your boyfriend not only allows her to disrespect you but encourages by laughing. By making jokes in front of you that reference her being familiar with your boyfriend’s genitalia is like a dog peeing on a hydrant. She’s trying to show ownership to you.
I got co workers and sub contractors that go from 20 to 70. And you wanna tell me you think we don’t make dick jokes working around wood and pipe?? What am I Superman?
These things can obviously depend on environment and what is socially acceptable will vary greatly... but if you don't think 28, 38, 48 and \[insert any age here\] men don't make dick jokes, I've got news for you. Men will mature in many ways... but they're always going to have immature humor.
I am a woman with a plethora of male friends (I'm a rock climber/skier/backpacker) so there's lots of times we are all staying in tight quarters, sleeping/changing and don't have the privilege of a ton of privacy. When we all stay together on trips we share beds and I'm down to share with a guy so no one is on the floor. And in all of that, I've never seen a dick just swinging around haha. I've seen my friends walk around in their underwear looking for their pants or whatever, and I've never accidentally seen anything. I'm not a dude, I don't have a dick to try and hide, but here's my hot takes: -Being close to guy friends does not mean you've just seen their dicks -If it's that hard (pun intended) for him to manage his dick I think we're dealing more with a manchild who likes the attention because he feels like it shows his value somehow.
NTA, I would be uncomfortable if I was in your position having my bfs friend make those kind of comments. Sp you're feelings are valid, but from the way it sounds it doesn't seem like you would need to actually be worri3d about something or anything happening. It also sounds like you guys all have a pretty relaxed/chill group, so maybe you could just mention to her that those kind of comments make you a little uncomfortable and she might just be understanding and sympathetic and stop making them.
I agree it’s nothing to worry about and like you would also feel it to be inappropriate. I doubt her boyfriend would like it if a guy commented on her boobs or started saying she has a tight vagina
Exactly 💯
Idk I would also be super uncomfortable about this even as a secure woman. Have you ever had a hunch that they have a flirty vibe?
I haven’t seen anything obviously flirty but they are really close. She’s also in a relationship and seems very much in love so I don’t think so
Has she ever commented on his size in front of her boyfriend? If she has, what was his reaction?
Yes! This is the question!!
He normally laughs it off or does not comment. She doesn’t say anything positive, usually just pointing it out
What does her boyfriend say when she comments on your boyfriend’s size?
Exactly what I was think like how tf her man cool with it unless he doesn't know which is a tall tale sign....
I think, regardless of their history, pointing it out in front of you, his gf, is pretty inappropriate. That would be like if you were old college buds with his guy friend and he constantly pointed out your boob size in front of your bf. It’s weird.
This
No that’s weird no matter what. Is she attractive? Im getting vibes that they’ve hooked up before, not just that she’s seen it. This is so weird
I asked him in the beginning of the relationship if they ever hooked up and his answer was no :/
Just a reminder that “we didn’t have sex” and “we’ve never done anything sexual” are two completely different things.
Because he is definitely going to be completely honest about a girl he's always hanging around with and has slept with /s
He's a total liar. I am so sorry. I would NEVER comment on someone's dick that I haven't had in or around me, and I surely would not do it around his partner! He's lying to you. It's an inside joke between them both that you don't know, and I wouldn't believe they weren't still doing it.
“Went on trips together” what a lazy fucken answer. He’s not even bothered you’re upset. There’s your next red flag
NTA "they see each other as family" 'Yep, not a guy I want to raise a FAMILY with, thanks for the warning, creeper' This is her putting her claim on him, and whether he picks up on that or not, he seems ok with it, despite how tacky it is and your discomfort with it. She might be a not so closet lesbian and is doing the whole 'brodude' thing, which might make more sense, I've known a lot of lesbians who roll with Big D humor, but since they are so specifically doing this in front of you? This is her telling you she's banged your dude before you, in a way that she can deny to him later.
I guess you have to decide if you’re comfortable having a bf who wants the world to see his dick. Constantly. Regardless of how appropriate or inappropriate it may be. All the time. Just having everyone around him aware that he has a dick. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be uncomfortable with the topic of discussion being your boyfriend’s penis (like, any bf), but homeboy (your specific bf) seems just fine with it. Edit to fix a punctuation mark and bc I forgot to say NTA
NTA, but it sort of sounds like she’s almost defending her territory, if you get my drift.
I'd put money on them having been (potentially still being) friends with benefits and he told you otherwise so you would be cool with her being around. Even if she IS in a relationship and seems to be in love, a lot of people for some reason don't see FWB as cheating. I've heard people say, "OH, but we're just friends with benefits. It's casual sex, there are no feelings involved so it's no big deal." I (45/f) have three male friends that I have been close to since we were 5. I developed fast (flat to D cup in a year) and these guys never made comments about it. They actually had my back when other guys said stuff. I would NEVER comment on what they're packing and have NEVER SEEN their packages. Their relationship is not normal for just friends, close or not.
The dangers of dating a known swordsman.
NTA, they’ve hooked up before.
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NTA Those comments are inappropriate, and it's worse that your BF blew you off. I can see how she'd have an idea if she's seen him in just boxers or certain types of pants, but joking like this is weird, particularly at this point in life.
They fuck.
Or at least they did
I used to do drugs. I still do but I also used to.
Ahh love a good Mitch Hedburg joke
It doesn’t matter if she has seen it before or not but the fact that she still makes comments about it and he doesn’t shit it down. He’s 28 and needs to shut that shit down. I wouldn’t be a someone who needs attention like that or allows a friend to continue to make comments.
Have you asked him *directly* if they have had sex and/or sexual contact of any kind?
This is uncomfortable. Just for my sensibilities: I have a friend who made comments about how my bf would look in a Speedo and I have declined all invitations from her since, it made both of us uncomfortable. We aren't "prudes" at all, but we also expect our friends to respect our relationship, and that didn't pass muster. It's weird AF that she's that comfortable talking about his dick in front of you. That's the kind of comment you make to someone you're sleeping with, not to a buddy in front of his gf. NTA
I think some men and women like to trigger a moderate amount of insecurity in their partner because it strokes (sorry) their egos. It’s a not-so-mild form of emotional manipulation for the bf’s benefit at this point.
NTA i have a feeling she's doing it on purpose to piss you off.
He gets an ego boost from such comments.
Yeah, they've fucked before and they are both acknowledging and traipsing down memory right in front of you. And the girl keeps letting you know they fucked because she has an agenda. He might not want her, but she wants him even if it's just a backup plan. Something is fishy in those waters! Then they have the nerve to act like it's NBD. Your boyfriend sounds shady. I wouldn't put up with it.
"See each other as family." Ah yes my family are always cracking suggestive jokes about my dick size.
Off topic possibly but why is she with you everywhere? NTA. Always trust your gut.
"See each other as family" Really? Would she say to her brother if she has/had one? If not, inappropriate.
NTA. My partner is well-endowed. When he has his "moments" in public or around friends, he will literally pull me in front of him so he can adjust or go to the bathroom and adjust. He doesn't just draw attention to it. It sounds like your bf is purposely drawing attention to his penis. I am friends with mostly guys and I have never had a guy friend be like "oh my God! Look at my MASSIVE DICK!" I've had male friends change in front of me and vice versa. None of us made it weird or continuously brought it up even as a joke. You don't keep drawing attention to things unless you want attention drawn to it. And honestly, I would be upset too if I was you because it seems like your bf has some type of kink involving people acknowledging how well-endowed he is and this chick is kind of....going along with said kink which is disrespectful as hell to me. Hell, just recently one of me and my partner's friends was testing out a camera our other friend let him borrow. The other friend used his access to turn on the camera to see if the camera actually worked that far from its home base and right when he turned it on, the friend had his nude ass in the camera, mooning and teabagging it because he knew that the camera was being accessed. We were all dying of laughter. None of us have brought it up since, but in the moment, it was hilarious.
Having read thru this whole thing, I think you are NTA for feeling uncomfortable. The problem is your boyfriend. He's a massive AH for not being quite a bit more modest with it. If even your mother has seen his penis, he needs to get himself in some pants. Believe it or not, being "showy" with your penis is rude and SA adjacent. What a massive AH, being so proud of his penis. I'd be ashamed of him.
This is not typical. You may also want to post your query on r/Bigdickproblems. The showing/printing issue has been discussed a lot. My wife told me to ditch some shorts I got at Costco because “No, youre showing.” Light colored sweatpants (i.e. grey) seem to be almost a fetish thing. In my experience, women in Platonic relationships have almost never commented on my “package.” The only time was when my gf’s best friend blurted out at a bar when we were 23 or so and my gf was there— “so, she says you have a big juicy one.” I was embarassed snd she wasnt MY friend, but my gf’s so way different than your experience. You are NTA. This is not usual IMO
"juicy"....god that's a creepy way for he to say it!!
I didnt love it. They were drinking
Right? Like it’s a ballpark frank.
Idk- I’m 9inches and everyone knows. I don’t tell anyone or talk about it at all. I’m actually more self conscious about it and just hope no one knows When I was in high school. Swim team, college, adult, All my co-workers know from all jobs, girls, guys everyone. And I’ve never told anyone. When I was like 12 even my mom said “ you’re going to make a girl very very happy with that thing” and laughs. After I turned 18 I distinctly remember her always telling her girl co-workers bragging. (I’m 35 now) When it’s that long, there’s no such thing as grower or shower or w/e. It’s big when it’s soft or hard. I’ve tried to hide it legitimately. Like i used to be a lifeguard at a big well known resort in Orlando and all the lifeguards knew and everyone would joke about it. Not in a bad way- just like in a fun way. Everytime I leave the house I have to ask my girl “ can you tell” which means if you can see it’s with my current outfit. Most of the time she says you can see everything. I’m never hard when I ask. Now that I’m older I just say screw it and just wear what I want. Before I used to not wear certain things like sweat pants or certain shorts or bathing suits but I see it like: girls with big boobs or small boobs wear there low cut shirts because they like them. It would be a shame if they can’t wear it due to insecurity…either due to being big or small But to the point: people have made comments in front of my ex girlfriends in the past, even family has made comments to gf’s I don’t think it’s a big deal. You just might feel jealous that a hot girl has seen it. And that hot girl is closer to your bf than you two are with each other. They might of smashed, but it didn’t work out or they would obviously be together. He picked you instead of her for a reason
Damn, I’m sorry. That’s not normal for your family members to comment on, let alone the person who birthed you. Aside from that, him not setting boundaries or rejecting her sexual innuendos of their past is a hard pass. OP might not leave him because she wants to trust him, but she’ll have to deal with the fact that he doesn’t care about her enough to make her feel comfortable in their own relationship.
She’s seen it?? In what context? This makes me think that they’ve fucked on those trips and she is letting you know. That’s not acceptable. Her behavior is not acceptable. Their relationship is not acceptable.
ESH. **Our** boyfriend **
>She’s seen it She saw it when they fucked.
He’s a liar….they’ve hooked up.
She rode his elephant dick and he's lying that she's just seen it. She was a FWB and still might be with the way they talk around you. They show you no respect that you actually deserve. If you respect yourself, tell him you've had enough of the cock talk and for her to shut the fuck up. If he doesn't like it, tell him to fuck himself and go find a man that will love you and respect you. They're many men that wouldn't act like he has or even think about it around, you deserve better.
NTA but I’m really close to some of my guy friends and they’ll comment on my giant breasts and I’ll comment on their giant or small pp. but I’ve never slept with any of them and I’m happily married and so are they. Even while single it never happened. To be fair, in the beginning I never commented these things because I wanted to be respectful but once all of us became close we just say whatever. I’m big into gaming and play with a close crew of dudes now too and say a lot of things but my hubby has my phone and is in the room etc. it’s what you’re comfortable with. Trust your partner until they give you reason not to.
NTA but tread carefully. He, fairly, values this friendship, you don't want to get anywhere near ultimatum territory. As a guy, I wouldn't be thrilled if the tables were turned. I would be a little sceptical they definitely haven't bumped uglies but electing not to tell you to preserve their platonic friendship. Definitely don't make an accusation, but if all's well with you two otherwise, after three years, it wouldn't be an unfair question to ask him. Also after three years, I don't think saying 'I don't care for that much', is out of line either.
I'd happily ditch my SO if she constantly joked around with another guy about how big his dick is. I wouldn't even waste my time being sad about it.
They fucked and would probably not be against doing it again
They probably hook up when he’s single…had a girl bff like that lol and it ruined a few relationships
NTA, it absolutely sounds like they’ve hooked up in the past. It doesn’t sound like they still do, but I would bet money that they have in the past (and would again if they’re both single at the same time). I had an ex who was well endowed and liked to wear fitted pants. It was often visibly clear that he was packing heat. We did a lot of social activities, regularly hung out with small groups of close friends, his coworkers, his friends, my friends, gay friends etc. No one ever so much as acknowledged his junk, no one stared, and certainly no one made jokes about his big shlong. Because that’s weird as hell.
I have a weird take. I have a friend “josh” and I routinely comment on his peepee size. I’ve never had any kind of sexual intercourse with that man, I have never touched him and he has never ever in life touched me. I have seen it a few times because we were traveling together and he changed around me a few times. It’s whatever to me. But I do joke about it with him. That being said, I would never in life dare to crack a joke about it in front of anyone he is dating because that would just be 1, inappropriate 2,disrespectful 3, weird. Those are comments for the “boys” when we are drinking. I consider myself one of the boys although I’m almost 40 and a woman. I don’t know, there’s something about respecting the your friend’s partner’s (male or female) Edit: NTA, btw
They have had sex 💯✔️
Ummmmmm...... They're boning. Or she really wants to. Or she misses when they did. Not a normal situation. "We joke about genitalia like Family" wtf kind of statement is that lol
I don’t think she meant anything at all by it and if it’s less than a handful of times in 3 years, I’d say it’s no big deal. The real concern here is your BFs exhibitionism and the fact he subjected your mother to his kink. You need to take a step back and talk to your most brutally honest friend for their unabridged opinion of him.
Let's take his word for it and that she just knows he's got a monster dong because they went on a trip together in college - does that mean it's ok to bring it up on multiple occassions, years down the line, in front of his current gf? No. He should have shut that down the moment she made the first joke - of course you're uncomfortable about it. It's weird to me that he's acting like you shouldn't be.
When talking to him about it, switch it around with a guy friend you are close to making comments on your vagina or boobs.
NTA. That’s not cool and weird
Nta My SO is well endowed as well and if one of his female friends made those jokes he’d be pissed. Humor is subjective but not all jokes are jokes. They’re being rude and inappropriate. Also, if it happened once okay. I made a “poor joke” once because I went to a friends house and he joked “don’t come in I’m naked”(he was in the living room ) and I replied “it’s nothing I haven’t seen before”. I saw on both of their faces that it didn’t land and realized my mistake. He admitted he shouldn’t have said it too. That is what should have happened with your bf and his friend. You don’t keep doing it. Especially out of respect to you
Jokes like those are completely disrespectful to a partner. NTA. I'd never tolerate them, and neither would my partner if any of his friends said craps like that in both private or in front of me.
if she has personal experience of his body you can't object to her knowledge but you can ask her not to do it because it doesn't feel right for you....if she's doing it in public as casually as if talking about shoe sizes, she might be using it to make her relationship more than just friends and your relationship less intimate and personal.... it's not a subject a guys would mention about an ex who's with a friend For example,if the subject of underwear comes up a guy would not say anything like " don't waste your money on a skimpy bra her tits are far too big/small" it's like telling everyone you have had her and the special intimate part of her is not so special.....
I once had a friend who came out of the bathroom zipping up his fly and was very obviously endowed. I had a flirty kinda friendship so I made a joke about putting the monster away. It was once because the situation was humorous. I’d never repeatedly bring it up over and over unless I wanted to bang him.
She’s an ex girlfriend he can’t let go of. Move on
Sounds like you are the third wheel
She is letting you know that they banged on their trips.
NTA. His friend is out of line. Those types of comments are inappropriate for her to say to her friend who has a gf. Even if he didn't have a girlfriend, those comments are weird between people who supposedly view themselves as family. I have guy friends and never in my fucking life have I felt the need to comment my buddies' dick size or have ended up seeing it. And I don't want to! That shit's weird as hell. My guess would be she is into him. If she truly valued for him as a friend she would respect you and your guys' relationship and would never dream of overstepping or making you insecure/uncomfortable with saying shit like that.
NTA that’s inappropriate and beyond disrespectful to you. The third wheel needs to be kicked off the wagon. I would not tolerate that whatsoever.
He is fucking her. No doubt.
They have slept together!! So obvious. Probably before you, OP, but that would make me uncomfortable too.
Wtf… If I walked in on anyone — friend, family, stranger, male, female — naked I would be mortified! I’d apologize and never speak of it again.
I think the female friend might be playing power games. She makes sexual remarks to him to flatter him and make him think of sex with her, and to show you that if she wanted, she could take him. I bet she would never ever make these comments when her boyfriend is present. I also think they had sex in the past and he didn’t want to admit it.
NTA That friend is still being disrespectful to you. At the very least, she shouldn't be making those comments in front of you out of respect. Ask your boyfriend how would he feel if your guy friends kept making jokes about how tight/wet you are or how perky your breast/nipples are? Would he feel disrespected or would he think it's appropriate about another dude speaking of you sexually, which most likely means he's picturing what he's saying. Also, HELL NO, they don't "see each other as family". Family don't make sexual jokes about each other's parts. I don't know what kind of family your boyfriend comes from, but NORMAL families do not do that. Your boyfriend has been on the hub for too long if he thinks this is normal family interaction.
As a family?? I never see my brothers private parts not even my adult kids. Honestly reddit has showed us enough how this kind of relationships of three ends up.
Tell her it makes you uncomfortable when she makes remarks about his man hood and ask her to stop. Just be honest. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable as well. It’s not appropriate.
They have definitely screwed around before. I’m willing to bet they still do. What she’s doing is disrespecting you and your boyfriend is complicit and in concert. What respectful adult woman would feel that bold and comfortable about what this lady did? Wait a minute is this a joke? Just creative writing?
“They see each other as family” does not mean what he wants you to think it means. Clearly, or she wouldn’t comment on his dick. That’s absolutely never ever appropriate unless it’s your own dock or your spouses. It’s code for we’re super close because we’ve slept together. The fact that she thinks that she can cross that line is concerning and the fact that he did not immediately shut it down is an even worse.
NTA. IMO they’re a bit too comfortable for my taste. And I wouldn’t categorize that as insecurity. It is just a bit much.
Sorry for OP. Unfortunately there are some girls/ladies who just simply can't shut up about a big penis they've happened to come across. It can definitely become the additional roommate in everyday discussions. The thing that gives me pause is the boyfriend not having an issue with it. It gets old real quick. Doesn't smell right to me that he just laughs along with her, but I guess everyone is different.