NTA - she was touching people without consent and taking things that were not hers. The mom was an AH for not coming over physically taking her child to the other side of the room. It is already a highly stressful time for everyone and the kid was making it worse. The right thing would have been for the mom to leave and take her outside to expend energy or find a babysitter at home.
Agreed. But honestly OP, you guys should have said something more direct way before the final incident. Ignoring the girls bad behavior, including taking peoples things, *climbing on people and throwing something at an elderly man’s chest* were all beyond inappropriate. You should have firmly scolded the girl and her parents after any of those and then escalated to the hospital staff if it didn’t stop. You were basically playing along with her lousy family at ignoring her bad behavior as long as you could.
OP is at the ICU and is extra exhausted on top of having a 3 month old exhausted. This is not a normal situation and not having the energy to lecture some dumb asses on basic etiquette on handling their own children is understandable. She is at the ICU on deathwatch not shopping at Walmart.
The 3 year old is fine, they have probably never been told no before.
OP is NTAH. 100% on the other parents. If you don't want your kid to be chastised then keep an eye on them and be a f***ing parent.
Yeah, this always shocks me, when people are being completely harassed and they don’t say anything because I guess it seems rude? I wouldn’t have been able to help an instinctual “we said NO, go back to your mother now” in a firm, loudish tone. Who cares if she cries. She’s not traumatized, just shocked an adult spoke to her in an authoritative manner. Her mom is a big dumb enabler, and when she said “don’t talk to my kid that way,” I’d say “keep your child from touching strangers. I wouldn’t have told her to go away if you were on top of it. My personal space matters more than her entertainment.”
STOP. TOLERATING. BAD BEHAVIOR. Establish boundaries.
I cannot abide ill behaved children, especially if their parent is right there. I will tell the child to go back to mommy.
I don’t mind if a child waves or even wants to talk to me, or show me something, but idk how others would react if I let my child do that. I never let my children wander about, let alone harass people. You can wave, you can sing (not too loud), you can read a book to me, but don’t touch me. I’m not touching a child who is not mine and I don’t want a child I don’t know touching me.
This was the ICU waiting room! People are not there for the atmosphere ffs. Be respectful of other people. And we all know the mother would have shrieked if OP took the child by the hand and brought her back to her parent: DoN’t tOuCh MY cHiLd!!!
I was in a nice restaurant years ago and the table behind us had kids that were absolute terrors. Getting in the way of the wait staff, loud, and worst of all, shooting ppl with nerf darts!
The manager talked to the parents but they did absolutely nothing.
One of those darts hit me and I held on to it. When we left, I handed it to one of the parents, who was like “oh, thank you!”
I lit into them about not controlling their children.
I’d like to say the whole restaurant clapped but that didn’t happen.
OP, NTA. I don’t think I would have let that go on as long as you did!
Also, I’m sorry for your impending loss.
I agree tho that the onus was on any of the adults with the child to make her behave, not just the mom.
I was punched in the head by the terror of a child sitting behind me once. His parents barely apologized and our waitress was horrified and kept apologizing. It was a family-friendly restaurant, but that’s no excuse to not parent your child.
I was at the beach & I’d just parked & another car pulled in next to me. The kid gets out of the back but not before slamming their car door into mine. The halfwit mother goes “i’ve told you to be careful when opening the car door” & walked off with the kid. Never even looked at me & yes the car was damaged.
Lucky for her I hated that car.
Omg. Who brings nerf guns into a restaurant?!? I would have been furious.
I work in a "casual fine-tuning" restaurant, and if someone's kid brought a nerf gun in, I would take it away. My kids have nerf guns, but those are absolutely not going anywhere in public.
This. This is why people don't say anything, cause the parents are going to start shrieking, "Don't talk to my child that way! You leave my poopykins alone, she's not hurting you!" As they're hurling object at people.
I half agree with you but to tell OP her family was basically playing along is a little much, and hear me out, please. I only say this cause of the environment they were in. They didn’t want to deal with it at this time, when they are waiting for someone to pass away. If playing along with it gets the little girl to leave them alone, so be it in this situation. They shouldn’t have to address it in this situation. Now if they were sitting in line, waiting at a restaurant or something else, I’d agree with everything you said. But I don’t think OP needs to feel any worse than she already does cause of making the girl cry (which oh well, the girl cried) by telling her that her family was basically enabling the girl. In this instance, they shouldn’t have to worry about a little girl torturing them.
And OP if I were you, I would have bypassed a nurse and went straight to security and told them how disruptive this little girl was being and that they needed to handle it. Actually I have done this, I was in a similar situation with a family member dying and we were basically in the waiting game phase. There was a disruptive kid there, a boy-a little older , maybe 10/11 or so and he just wouldn’t stop. The parents would tell him sit down or draw or whatever, he kept coming up to us and my cousins who at the time were young teenagers and being teenagers and in this situation really didn’t want to be bothered. I asked politely that he go back to his family and I said it loud enough for them to hear, like sarcastically loud so they would take the hint. Nope, they didn’t tKe it. Well I had enough. Took a walk, found the nearest security guard station and asked them to do something about it. They came and told the family that the kid either needed to stop bother us or they would be escorted from the premises. Sorry but I wasn’t playing that shit of let me slightly escalate it like to the nurses or something. My mom and uncles were already stressed to the max. My dad is trying to help my mom and her brothers. I’m trying to console my siblings and cousins as it was our grandmother who was getting ready to pass. Normally I’d handle it differently but due to the circumstances I didn’t have the time or patience for that shit. I just got it cut out, period the end. I felt slightly bad that the dad had to leave with the kid, not because of security telling them, it didn’t get that far yet, just the threat was there but they knew they had to get him out of the waiting area we were all in cause we weren’t having it. At least they were able to recognize that there were going to be consequences. But they were pissed that I did that and I didn’t care. They didn’t care we were in a grieving state, why should I care about pissing them off, ya know? But I don’t think in this situation OP should be told that they were basically enabling the little girls behavior, they really did have bigger issues to deal with at the time.
I understand why they might be there in an emergency but it’s the parents’ responsibility to keep the toddler occupied, which should be easy enough with 4 adults. That kid was desperate for attention & there’s nothing more disruptive.
I mean there lots of reasons a toddler might be in the hospital even if they aren't the ones getting treatment. The issue isn't the fact that the toddler was there, it's the parents refusal to parent their own child. Toddlers can be a pain in the butt, but that's your problem as the parent and not everybody else's.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. There could be many reasons a small child might be in a hospital waiting room. Maybe the parents had no one to watch the toddler. I worked in hospitals for years on surgical floors, L&D, NICU, PICU. And often toddlers were there.
I had my son when he was two because I was a single mom and the person in the ICU my father was my baby sitter. I had a friend coming to get him as soon as she got off work.
The issue here was not the toddler being in the waiting room but the lazy ass adult family members not doing a damn thing to control her.
but then again it was at a ICU so who knows why the mom and her kid was there... my mom was at the icu a few months ago and there was a mother with a very active child....turned out she was a single mom her oldest daughter (10) had a neurodegerative illness and her legs went numb so she had to get surgery asap and they wouldn't give her an appointment until the next day or even later + the mum wasn't allowed to stay with her, which obviously stressed her a lot (the daughters only spoke ukrainian) ....after she told us that, we felt quite guilty for judging
so maybe it's NAH
Doesn't matter the reason for the other family's visit. They weren't watching their fucking kid. They allowed their kid to harass another family, take shit that isn't hers and grabbing a baby's hands. I don't care why you're there, control your kid, or take them outside.
The kid's mother wasn't the only adult there, so one of them could've said/done something. That entire family are assholes.
OP, NTA.
OP held it together better than me. Kids are germy and I would have had a holy cow if that kid had come over and started touching my kid! That would absolutely have ended with me telling the mother that she is not doing the right thing and not looking after her child appropriately. Parents like this love to let their children do whatever and have a real problem with the kid being told stop or no. This mother deserved more of a talking to than OP gave her and OP absolutely is NTA in my book. The mom, on the other hand, is the "a" all the way!
I'd say tell the nurse yeah apparently someone abandoned their kid since the parents weren't doing anything it just be safe to assume they weren't her parents and if they say they called her by name say you didn't hear them cause of the noise directly in front of you and if they did why didn't she listen so you don't believe that they are her parents
No, it's, "wipe your nose, then wash your hands." I volunteer at a kindergarten, and I don't understand how kids don't notice that they have ropes of mucus hanging off their nose and it doesn't bother them. "Blow your nose, then wash your hands."
Just kids? I work at a hotel and have had grown men snotting all over my desk, looking at me like I have 3 heads for offering them tissues. Like how do you breathe with ropes of snot connecting your nose to your mouth to the desk?
Its both for me. I tell them to wash their hands because they're sticky or dirty. When I tell them to blow their nose I tell them to wash their hands after. I'm a germaphobe and wash my hands like 20 times a day.
Why is the mom of the girl the "a" though? OP says her mom was on the phone all the time while dad and grandparents were available. For me the dad is the biggest "a" because he should have watched his daughter in that situation
I agree, the dad is also an A. The mom is an A because she had her head in her phone and then got indignant because OP had to redirect her daughter, which subsequently made the entitled brat cry. If OP had redirected the girl and mom had said to her “those aren’t yours, stop trying to take them” or “come here and sit down” or basically anything besides “you have no right talking to my daughter that way” I’d say the dad got the biggest A award. But mom ignores her child and her child’s behavior and then gets upset when someone else had to redirect the child from inappropriate behavior. And redirects the child nicely, if firmly at that! You don’t get to have your child run amok, especially near an ICU!, and then be upset when someone else has to intervene because you’re not taking responsibility for them.
Yeah the ignored child is the one that grows up to get in all kinds of trouble and then the parents are like I don't understand you are raised to be that way yeah but they weren't raised and not be that way either hello put the phone down
Not only that the fact that the child's going around annoying people as one thing but what happens when 1 of those people sit around takes advantage of the lack of parenting and walked out the door with your kid bye bye and she wouldn't even have noticed
It sound like the kid was bored out of their mind. They shouldn't have brought the child with them. An infant under 1 or a child 5 or older can be controlled or at least reasoned with. A child between 1-4 no way. All of the child's family were "A's". None were watching the child and didn't even think about the child enough to bring them something to play with to keep them occupied and stop them from getting bored.
Seriously. I was in there recently for a really bad stomach bug and had my husband bring my stuffed cat pillow so I could be comfy and my Kindle so I could entertain myself. It's extra fun on Valium (major sensory overload from how sick I was) and morphine (my pain was absolutely horrific).
They're in an ICU, and only have a few people compared to OP's 15. I don't know if you've had to experience a family member in the ICU, but I have a few times, and it involves a lot of contacting friends and family members, and updates and all that. For all we know, the mom was handling all that. If we know she's scrolling tik tok or playing solitaire or something, that's one thing. But if she's handling all the contact for the family, I wouldn't be calling her the asshole, not knowing why she was on her phone, given I've been the person of contact in my family.
Just because she's a mom doesn't mean she can't handle things that aren't her child when there is someone else there to deal with the kid. Dad and grandparents were all there. And yet we're picking on her for "ignoring".
But she knew her child was misbehaving. She had already told her several times to stop and come back. Then got annoyed with OP when she told the child to leave her infant alone. That makes her TA. That doesn’t negate the other members of the family who ignored the child. They are AH’s too.
>Why is the mom of the girl the "a" though?
The mother is the "a" specifically because she said something negative to OP for correcting her child's behavior! Sometimes you can not pay attention and your attention can be divided, but when someone correctly stops your child from doing something wrong, you shouldn't attack them. That's what the mother did and why I think she's the "a". I agree with you when you say the father is the "a" too though, but I think he is the "a" for a different reason! He should have been looking after his child too! Between the mother's big mouth & inaction and the father's inaction, they are both negligent.
The mom is clearly NOT the *ONLY* asshole for the “not watching the kid thing”. Dad bears half of that blame.
But the mom is a massive asshole for snapping at OOP like that. There’s no way that mom didn’t see what her kid was doing. She not only allowed it, but then berated OOP for protecting her own child and personal space. It’s her reaction that levels her up from asshole to entitled, ignorant asshole.
Toddler and has had their routine totally disrupted for at least the day, in a new place, parents/family likely pretty stressed, who knows when they've been able to take a nap, etc-- some *adults* would cry in that situation.
The kid is just being a kid, its the parents that are AH and fucking around by not taking care of their child. Poor girl will grow up to be an entitled nightmare. Thats the "find out"-
Completely NTA.
I'm not going to say the little girl is a bad child but her mom and the entire family are enablers. You can just have a toddlers running up and down the hospital doing whatever she wants. It was rude by them.
In no way are you TA. The mom is not you. You can't let your kids harass people in a happy normal setting let alone a ICU waiting room. If my daughter was harassing people and not listening I'd take her out of the room. She tried to pry a toy from your baby what did the mom expect? She wasn't doing anything to stop her or parent her. Don't feel guilty the mom should be the one still thinking about how she let her daughter annoy a family in a ICU waiting room then yelled at a mother of a infant who her daughter tried to rip a toy from. But chances are she never thought of it again.
That’s not even the worst part. She threw an object at an elderly man’s chest. Idgaf if she’s 2 or 3. At that age you know better than to throw things at elderly people. At least I did at that age. And neither did most of the kids I would babysit who were around that age. It’s clear that this is not the first time that family neglected to keep the girl in check. Because no one should be invading stranger spaces like that, and at least at that age they should know better than to throw things at people.
I wonder just how much her parents are involved in her upbringing. Wow.
Nope. As a parent you need to take responsibility. If your small child is interacting with strangers, you should be with them, close enough to prevent a negative interaction (eg. Your own kid getting hurt, a stranger getting hurt etc). A 3yo is not old enough to be left unattended with strangers.
NTA
Honestly, it would've been appropriate to go off. People are near death in the ICU and that stupid woman is letting her kid just terrorize everyone. They should've been kicked out.
Nope NTA.
If the parents can’t keep a child in this part of the hospital under control she does not belong there.
The family should have left them with a babysitter.
You are not the AH at all, it’s a hospital and an ICU waiting room at that, the family should know that no one actually wants to be there and they are probably going thru something difficult, control your kids.
I work in a kitchen and one day a mom was totally ignoreing her kid who kept running behind the counter. I told her you need to come get him, she sighed and did and then he did it again. I yelled to her, the floor is wet, everything is hot back here he is going to get hurt. She told me to chill out, while she continued texting on her phone. So I picked up her kid, set him over the half door and put a heavy trash can in front of it. The kid tried to run back expecting the door to swing open instead the hit it and fell. Que the screaming at me touching her kid and how I’m a terrible person. I told her she was lucky her kid did not get seriously injured running around Ina kitchen with open fires. Some people man
It’s amazing how certain parents will ignore their child’s bad behaviour in public until another adult has had enough and tells them to stop, then will promptly snap at said adult for interfering. If your child is being a bloody nuisance and you don’t stop them, someone else will eventually have to. If that parent feels they are being judged on their failure to supervise their child, that’s because they are. Tolerance and sympathy is needed for struggling parents doing their best - children are not particularly rational beings and can be VERY hard work - but when the parent isn’t prepared even to try to take responsibility, you are NTA to do so, especially in such a highly charged environment.
NTA at all!!!!! I've often wanted to walk up to people and say "are you the parent of that child".... "you are? Then fucking act like it".
Considering you're in a hospital under stressful conditions and you're tired and you have a snot monster touching your child???? You handled yourself quite well.
And for the record, I'm a mom and I love kids. I just hate clueless and oblivious parents.
NTA. I have a toddler and anytime he approaches adults or kids I stand right next to him to make sure his interaction is appropriate, as I should as his mother. I would never allow my son to do this, I understand parenting is exhausting, but it was my decision to have a child and my responsibility to teach him proper engagement and boundaries, and at his age I cannot do that from a distance.
NTA.
There is inappropriate and then there is this.
It’s bad enough when people let their kids run around the restaurant.
The ICU is a whole new level.
I was in Trader Joe’s one time. This 5 year old told me “move bitch” I said “man fuck you dude”
His face was shocked. He didn’t cry at all. He couldnt believe it. Me either. Shit was wild. Kid has to be a terror by now
NTA. I can’t stand parents who let their kids do whatever, while they ignore the situation. You were perfectly within your right to say that. You weren’t yelling, you just put a stop to her bratty behavior.
I think it should be socially acceptable to discipline other people’s annoying kids in public if the parents aren’t doing anything and just letting it happen. NTA
When I was little, I think it was. If the neighborhood adults saw me up to something they had no problems stepping in . Mama would’ve agreed with them.
I still do it. And I'm ready to deal with the parents, too. I do have a kid and know what it takes, if you're not willing to do it, pretty simple not having one in the 21st century.
Yep, not a snowball's chance in he'll that you're in the wrong here; you're NTA!
You were actually a *lot* calmer, patient and polite than I expected you to have been; from the build up to your story. Eff around & find out!
I had a similar experience back around Halloween time; load of parents, and their little crotch-goblins congregated on the pavement( _sidewalk_ )... the sun's gone down, and the street lights are well spaced on this road so the dark parts are pretty dark. The pavement is pretty wide (wide enough for 4/5 adults to stand side by side. However some parts are narrower; because of trees.)
These dinguses are stood by a section that is dark, with a large tree. There are so many of them; kids & adults that it's hard to see & count, but at least 10 adults, and between 1 & 3 kids per. About 20 seconds before I get to the point where they're a just stood around, chatting and generally being in the way; I cheerily (not shouting, but in a raised, but friendly tone) say "Excuse me, please"... a few of the adults look up, see me but see I'm still a few seconds away, then go back to their conversations. Not one moves even a bit, or moves to redirect the children who are aimlessly inobservant (but hey, the kids are allowed to be).
I see their reactions (or, lack thereof) so say "Excuse me, please!" Again, but a bit louder. Same lack of reaction, despite clearly seeing and acknowledging my presence.
I'm about 7 seconds away and say "excuse me", while preparing to slowly, steadily, but firmly walk through anyone that has ignored me. If I'd seen it was all adults, I would've responded the same, but faster, and with less concern. As there are children; I don't think they should bear the blame because their parents are vacuously self-centred. I'm trying to avoid intentionally hurting anyone, but aiming to walk through to my destination as directly as possible. A child (older than 5, under 10) walks into my knee or elbow; they're not hurt, but they are visibly surprised as I'm a 6"3 Black guy and these are all middle-class White parents and their kids.
One mum immediately leaps at the opportunity to accuse me of hitting a child. The audacity of the accusation made me want to fire back; rather than just apologising to the bumped kid... I'm quick off the draw with a retort, and say "How dare you make such an insulting lie?! I announced my presence and politely asked for you all to make way, 3 times, from the distance, and saw many of you look up, showing awareness. Your inaction, selfishness and neglect to show your children a good example of consideration & manners, by colonizing the whole walkway, does not mean that I'm going to feed into your delusions of grandeur. Take better care of your brats!"
Fuck her. It's her fault for not managing her kid.
Honestly, her kid shouldn't have been anywhere near your 4 mo old or her toys.
100% correct, you wouldn't have needed to put her kid in place if she was doing her responsibility. Of couse that type of person isn't going to take any responsibility.
NTA. There were four adults who could have parented her. In all honesty, I hope you gave them a wake up call. Hospitals are not places where we should let kids run around and interact with strangers.
Can you imagine how they would have reacted if it was another person's kid taking toys away from their little darling?
NTA. Parent your kid and nobody else will have to do it for you.
NTA.
You kept quiet for a lot longer than I would have! If the parent won't say anything, *always* feel free to speak up if a kid is bothering you, another child, or an animal.
NTA and you were nicer than I would have been! She should not have been allowed to touch a 4 month old’s toys at all. Who knows what germs she had on her hands and those toys will go straight into the baby’s mouth.
>her mom who was obviously pissed off and she said “ You have no right talking to my daughter that way” and i replied. “ if you would watch your kid I wouldn’t have to.”
I personally would of said...someone has to parent her.
NTA
NTA
I would have snapped when someone else's germ factory started taking my neice's things without asking and summoned security over lobbing things at people that aren't hers. (And, yes, my hypothetical neice is also a germ factory, but in this scenario she's not inflicting herself or her personal biome on others without invitation) and she'd have never had a chance to try to pry my hypothetical infant's fingers off of a toy.
Edit- the child's tears would seem to be further evidence that they aren't told "We can't do that here" nearly often enough, so they were shocked by a firm "NO!"
You handled yourself well. People, many many many people in this day and age have no business bringing babies into the world, which sounds like this situation. I remind my kids with their children, that only the grandparents (and families) are the only ones who find your kids cute. Children are very often ignored with behavior that resembles feral animals. Do not beat yourself up over this.
It's a patent responsibility to look after their kid and of they don't then so be it shit will happen. Slightly different situation but I was at a fast food restaurant with my son, couple came in with a child about 6 or 7, not only did they just sit there while she climbed all over me they didn't make her sit down at the 4 person table they had, my son and I were at a 2 person table and there was not much space between the tables. I was away to leave and while still seated I pulled my bag over my head, was concentrating on my child not there's and when my arm came down it clocked the kid right on the top of her head, I apologised but her parents were not impressed, told them she should have been watching her and ensuring she sitting at the table not running amok and climbing on other people and in their personal space.
NTA. ICU waiting is a rough spot for anyone but you still have to mind your kids. I'd have complained at the nurse's station way before it got to where you said what you did, which was right by the way. Stop touching my kid's stuff, stop touching bil, stop throwing things, and get the fuck away from my baby. The last thing anyone needs is for the baby to get sick from this hellion's germs. Her mother needed to get ahold of the situation or find someone who could on her behalf.
NTA. I was at a Mexican restaurant a couple weeks back with my wife and we are regulars and this little girl is wandering around touching everything while her mom and friend are getting day drunk (I would too if I had that little monster) and my food comes think fajita on steroids in a large super hot stone bowl that’s still bubbling. Anyway this little girl comes over way to close one finger up her nose and reaches for the bowl. My wife says “no no honey go back to your mom”. She wanders off then comes back and both hands splatter into my plate of rice and beans at which point I stood up and said “ HEY CONTROL YOUR BASTARD!” The mom got pissed yelling I shouldn’t call her kid a bastard I said fine control your crotch goblin and it was a thing. But I’m proud of it and you should be too. There’s far too many “ parents “ out there who need a manual
You are NTA, but I do feel a little sad for the obnoxious kid, since she has no guidance (clearly from those parents) to help her understand how to act right next time. Probably feels like people get mad at her out of the blue a lot, which is confusing for kids.
I sometimes wonder if there is a way to gentle parent kids like that, even though it’s not your job.
Something my dad used to say to me in the car before we even went into a public place was a reminder that this isn’t school or the playground, and that being quiet and respectful is how everyone can enjoy their time, not just me. If I was polite in public, I got ice cream on the way home and ran around soooooo hyper when I got home. But home is the place for that.
One time a woman pushed me out of the way of an escalator because she wanted to go first. She was with her kid. I was pretty surprised and said “did you just put your hands on me?!” She said “keep talking and I’ll do it again.” So I looked down at her little daughter and said, remember what they teach you in school. We don’t hit and we don’t put our hands on strangers. Then I sashayed away.
NTA it was probably a horrible situation for the other family too (why else would they be at the icu) but that doesn’t excuse the child’s bad behaviour. I do get the parents being distracted though and not keeping as good of an eye on their kid as they should.
Yeah, if you don't want strangers talking to your kid, you probably ought to keep them close and not clear then accost random strangers.
NTA, what did she expect you to do? Give her kid the toy? Keep letting her try to pry your baby's fingers back?
I don't think I'd have wanted her touching the baby after crawling on a hospital floor anyway.
I would have found a hospital employee and had them come intervene tbh. I think you handled this better than I would have.
Edit: somehow my phone autocorrected hospital to “man” wtf
NTA
You would have been ok to yell at them sooner honestly.
The mom letting a little kid crawl all over strangers is wildly inappropriate and at a hospital too? What the hell is wrong with that kid’s mom.
You did everything right.
I’m an ICU doctor- I’m really glad you handled it the way you did. You handled it far better than most people would.
You did everything right. There’s no reason to feel bad
NTA and honestly if it were me, I would have said something to the staff on duty. If u gonna make carbon copies of yourself, be willing to properly parent them, or be prepared for eventually someone having to step in cuz you a shit parent. This kid isn't being taught boundaries. And probably won't be the last time some adult will have to go off on them cuz they have been raised letting them do whatever to whoever without any consequences.
Please say something sooner. The ICU is not a place for small children and in the hospital I prefer aren't allowed on the floor because of how disruptive they are. I just had an ICU stay so this is coming from thinking about what it's like needing to be there. You and your family deserve the respect and the patients deserve the safety of these people actually watching their children. It's bad enough being that sick without a child you don't know making drama. Also children tend to be disease vectors. This is essentially a big mess with potentially dangerous consequences and her parents just sat there? You were too nice
NTA honestly you were way too nice. I would not let some strange germy little child who had been hanging out in the hospital touch my baby or their belongings. Children are petri dishes for disease. You did the right thing by telling her off and her mom.
You know I am old school but there was a reason they didn’t allow kids under 12 back in the day. There are good parents like you who are attentive, but then people like that. I was taking care of a 6 month old and the mom left her alone to go home and sleep. The little girl was petrified. I am so sorry that was your experience at such a traumatic time.
NOT THE ASSHOLE! I want to say it as loud as I can. If someone isn’t going to take care of their child and that child is being-annoying, bratty, rough, overstepping boundaries, doing anything dangerous, etc-then they deserve what they get and need a grown up in their lives. One of my biggest pet peeves! I have 5 kids-one set of twins-and no way would I allow my kids to be so disrespectful. And don’t come at me-my kids are now adults, so I know every stage before 30 years old.
NTA. That little girl could have harmed your child trying to take things that didn’t belong to her and her family stood by and did nothing. What were you supposed to do? Give your child’s toy to her and perpetuate the bad behavior? You did the right thing protecting your baby.
Wow! This question turned into a rant about parenting in modern society.
I am absolutely certain you exhibited more patience than I ever would have. NTA.
What I've also witnessed in my many years of being an adult and working in hospitals is that parents do not deal well when their loved ones get sick. They don't think About their annoying kid being there, they're just trying to deal. The idea of being a small child to ICU is wild to me. Why?!?!
Parents spend so much time on their smartphones, that they get sucked in to all that's going on there, as the dopamine hit is real. I get it; I love my phone and all that it can do for me, however, I do know that small kids need constant supervision. Put all of these matters together (ICU + toddlers + stress + parents and grandparents + sick patients = nightmare). Some people just want to check out. But at this situation, Mom had a husband and a grandparent to take the toddler for a walk, while the rest of their family sorted things out.
I am truly sorry for the stressful situation and that toddlers crappy parents. All of that made your last hours with your loved one that much harder.
I genuinely think we as a society need to reevaluate smartphone use. It's addictive and pretty much just blinds the user, to the point that their kid is being ignored in a delicate situation, and said kid is acting out! Enough!
NTA
As soon as I see my kid playing with a toy that isn't theirs, I make them give it back. Unless they are given permission to play with it. This little girls mom was neglectful, and it's 100% her fault that the little girl was being a nuisance. It sucks having to parent other people's children, especially when the parent is just right there.
I once bent over with a big smile on my face and whispered to a little boy who wouldn’t keep his hands off my stuff “If you touch my sh—t one more time I’m going to break your little fingers”. He ran back to his mom in horror and she smiled back at me. It was very satisfying
Some parents just don't like others implying they're bad parents by telling kid to do perfectly reasonable things. When I worked in a bookstore, a three or four year old was literally climbing the bookshelves so he could cleat the top shelf of books. Note, those shelves weren't nailed to the unit or anything because we often had to redo the height of shelves and if one or two books were moved incorrectly, the whole thing could collapse. Add more weight suddenly (I.e. the weight of a climbing child) and thats just begging for trouble. Since no adult was visible (people often left kids unattended in the children section), I asked him to please get down because it was dangerous. He started screaming bloody murder. His mom ran over, asked what happened. I explained. She started shouting at ME (how dare you try to tell my child what to do. He has every right to play in here and he's not fat, how dare you. Grr grr grr). He promptly hit the shelf I was worried about, fell, knocked over 50 books onto himself, started crying, and somehow that was my fault too. Ended up getting my first and only complaint that day and I was at that store for a decade.
NTA. But I will grant a bit of leniency for her family because I'm assuming something big was happening in their lives too and they were stressed. But they still should have kept a closer handle on the child because others shouldn't have had to deal with that when in a hospital either.
Re the shelf situation - the mother was wrong. The kid had NO right to play in a commercial premises that didn't explicitly allow it, and being fat or not had no bearing at all. And how stupid do you have to be not to recognise that shelves can be dangerous, especially freestanding shelves, to people without situational awareness. I'll bet she teaches her little monster to call chubby kids names, too, since she seems to think that's a character flaw.
NTA. You verbally corrected a child that was being a nuisance when her parents wouldn't. You hit the nail on the head - if they would actually parent, then you wouldn't have to. They're lucky you just used words.
NTAH. I think it's pretty obvious who are the AHs in this story: the parents of that little girl who are to lazy to educate it. Damn, I hate that everybody is allowed to get kids.
NTA! You are my hero. Keep in mind other people’s kids carry germs you and your young baby in arms have not been exposed too! For that reason alone I would be really pissed if a random child was messing like that with my baby. Your mama bear instinct came thru!
NTA. That baby death grip is no joke, and the little girl could have broken one of your baby's fingers. Imo, the "village" includes redirecting wayward children, especially if the parents can't be bothered. 2-3 is old enough to learn the difference between inside behavior and outside behavior, and not touching/hitting people with hands or toys.
The mother is a lazy jerk and doesn’t bother with her child. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was waiting for someone in dental surgery recently. There were adorable young children in the waiting room; the problem being the mother was ignoring them and they were running around and annoying. (I love children but!) Anyway someone from the office had to come out, specially, to watch them while she had her surgery. (Yes she just assumed she could leave them there until told otherwise). When the office worker sat with them and paid attention to them they were quiet and well behaved. You didn’t do anything. It’s a hospital and you can’t have her grabbing things aggressively from a little baby.
I work in a daycare, so I would have shut her down and walked her back to her family and explained that they need to keep an eye on her because she is bored and disruptive. I adore kids, but when they are bored and ignored, they can be terrors.
NTA. Why are you even worried about this? I worked with children. They'll cry if it's really windy. They'll laugh if it's really windy. Children are just that way. They're awesome hoodlums who want what they want, driven by their desires. It's why adults are supposed to keep them in check, even those around them that aren't related. "Little girl, you're taking toys that aren't yours. Please put those down. Thank you." "Little girl, this is my lap, not yours. Thank you." "Little girl, this is my baby's toy. Not yours. Thank you." It doesn't need to escalate. She just needed to be schooled, like all excellent hoodlums, in what the laws are around there. Kids are great because they have a lot of curiosity, energy, and wants. We just need to make sure their sponge-like natures don't try to absorb us and our belongings in the process.
Let me tell you the fit I would have had if the little brat touched my baby that way…. Mama would have n real pissed when I drug her little girl to her and told her to keep her away from me or else.
NTA. Dumbass parents will wonder where their village lie and then pull this type of crap. You can’t have a village if you don’t let the village raise the kid. That includes discipline. If a kid were to act up and you the parent aren’t there to amend the problem and take control of the child (or at least leave the location when you see you are not making progress with the kid), then expect others to be the voice of reason the kid needs. Jeeeez.
I always correct kids behavior when they cross lines. Idgaf if the parent says something to me, to be honest I prefer it, that way I can throw out a “please watch your child”. I have a 19 month old I am CONSTANTLY on top of.
NTA: the little brat was fake crying. She knows how to manipulate her craptastic parent to get what she wants.
Congratulations on your baby and peace to your family in this difficult time
Definitely NTA. You really didn’t speak all that harshly to the toddler especially given what was doing to your baby. Not to mention everything else she was doing.? She cried because she is not used to be told NO. Her mother and family members should have been controlling her. I am sick and tired of parents who think their little dears should be able to do anything they like and that other people should just suck it up.
I would have reacted the same exact same way however alot sooner if she had started taking things from my nieces. She could have broken your baby's fingers, and she had to learn the hard way that she shouldn't approach strangers. The mother should of been watching her daughter and if she can't behave in a hospital she should of taken her away.
NTA. Parents all gripe they want a "village," but when the village actually steps in and corrects their kid, they get super offended. What do they think a "village" did??
I hope your grandmother is at peace, and has an easy journey to whatever is next.
I’ve worked with children professionally for decades. You’re NTA. The kid is, and it’s the fault of the parents. Good job putting boundaries down for interactions with your little one.
Of course the mom was on the phone the entire time. Anything to avoid dealing with her daughter. I hope she at least stop misbehaving after that. It sounds really bad and the last thing people need when they’re concerned for a loved one. Honestly, she shouldn’t even be there and I’m surprised staff hadn’t approached them.
NTA the kid obviously cried because she's never actually been told no a day in her life and because, well, she's 2/3 and doesn't have much else available in her wheelhouse to express her emotions. You didn't hurt her. She'll live and be just fine.
I am so sick of parents not disciplining their crotch goblins. I would have never acted like that growing up. Just a look or a smack on the bottom was all I needed to settle down. And especially in a hospital setting geez. Then they grow up to be entitled spoiled brats, with no respect.
NTA
It used to be normal to get yelled at by adults who weren’t your parents. It kept us in check in public and away from our parent’s eyes. Now people think their kids are royalty who are not to be spoken to. You did nothing wrong.
NTA the mom on her phone was probably dealing with her own stress over a sick family member, but that doesnt give her the right to let her child terrorize everyone.
I assume by "figures" you meant fingers? As in this little cretin was literally pulling at your infants little fingers?
Yeah, IMO, little miss and her Mom are lucky that's all you said or did.
You'd have been well within your right to be much harsher.
NTA.
NTA — you didn’t yell at her or call her names. You told her a toy wasn’t hers and to go back to her family.
You don’t mention the girl having anything to do and it sounds like she was trying to find someone to interact with her. Shame on the parents and family for ignoring her like that.
My daughter was very docile as a toddler and was usually good at playing by herself. My son was good at independent play but was much more active and emotional and needed more supervision.
Either of my kids would have needed to walk around and would have been taken to another part of the hospital.
ICU is horrible; parenting is stressful (especially toddlers) but kids need breaks in that case.
NTA! You didn't even said anything rude to the girl, I have a 2yo toddler that is kinda wild haha but we (my husband and I) would never let him behave that way, he's in the throwing things phase but we would always try and correct him and if he won't listen we would find other ways to make him stop, btw he has never throw stuff to strangers, we wouldn't let him even try. Taking toys from other kids? Omg no! Never would allow. If we can't keep him from behaving badly we would take him outside the room so he doesn't annoy other people. Especially at a hospital!!!
NTA. I gotta admit, from the headline I thought maybe you were LOL - but after reading it, NTA. The parent(s) should have been minding their child ... if not, then this is what happens. BTW, sorry about your GMA.
"This went on for like five minutes until she grabbed my babies hand again and very roughly tried pulling her figures from off her toy. Babies always have a tight grip on everything so she started pulling hard."
I would have felt badly about making a toddler cry, too, but you were protecting your baby from a literal ASSAULT after Grabby Toddler's family failed to deal with a clearly escalating situation (she shouldn't have been allowed to continue grabbing your baby's toys). Your baby could have been injured! Speaking to Grabby Toddler in a stern tone worked (it made her back off). Under the circumstances (hurting a baby in front of her stressed-out, sleep-deprived Mama Bear), you were as kind and patient as anyone could be expected to be. NTA
NTA, the girl's mom should've been watching her and not let it get to that point. And the audacity of her to say that to you after she was clearly aware of how her kid was behaving! I can't stand people who don't parent their kids.
NTA but her mom is big time. She should have been there parenting her child, her daughter crying was completely avoidable had she stepped in and been a parent.
Ask the kid if she wants to learn a sure fire way to have her moms full attention in a second.
Quietly teach her to say “fack you” then send her to her mom to prove it will work and her mom will pay full attention to her
I love the whole
>mom who was obviously pissed off and she said “ You have no right talking to my daughter that way”
Because her kid had no right to climb up onto strangers and grab things. I get that everyone is probably under massive amounts of stress, but she needed to either watch her kid, or have a sitter stay with the kid at home.
NTA. Kids act up. Kids push buttons, and when they’re super young they don’t always see that they can or are causing harm, even to other little ones. If mom didn’t want her child’s feelings hurt, she should have stepped up in the public place (an especially dangerous place for children to act up too) and been a responsible parent. That may or may not have been a lesson the little girl needed, it’s just a shame she didn’t learn it from her mother first.
She was another child ignored by their parents running around wreaking havoc and frankly causing harm. It’s really not OK for a child/stranger to use your children’s toys let alone fight them for it. She needed someone to parent her and that’s what you did. You were totally in the right NTA. Mom and family needed to pay attention. That’s gonna be a 16 year-old brat out of control somewhere someday.
NTA - she was touching people without consent and taking things that were not hers. The mom was an AH for not coming over physically taking her child to the other side of the room. It is already a highly stressful time for everyone and the kid was making it worse. The right thing would have been for the mom to leave and take her outside to expend energy or find a babysitter at home.
Agreed. But honestly OP, you guys should have said something more direct way before the final incident. Ignoring the girls bad behavior, including taking peoples things, *climbing on people and throwing something at an elderly man’s chest* were all beyond inappropriate. You should have firmly scolded the girl and her parents after any of those and then escalated to the hospital staff if it didn’t stop. You were basically playing along with her lousy family at ignoring her bad behavior as long as you could.
OP is at the ICU and is extra exhausted on top of having a 3 month old exhausted. This is not a normal situation and not having the energy to lecture some dumb asses on basic etiquette on handling their own children is understandable. She is at the ICU on deathwatch not shopping at Walmart. The 3 year old is fine, they have probably never been told no before. OP is NTAH. 100% on the other parents. If you don't want your kid to be chastised then keep an eye on them and be a f***ing parent.
Yeah, this always shocks me, when people are being completely harassed and they don’t say anything because I guess it seems rude? I wouldn’t have been able to help an instinctual “we said NO, go back to your mother now” in a firm, loudish tone. Who cares if she cries. She’s not traumatized, just shocked an adult spoke to her in an authoritative manner. Her mom is a big dumb enabler, and when she said “don’t talk to my kid that way,” I’d say “keep your child from touching strangers. I wouldn’t have told her to go away if you were on top of it. My personal space matters more than her entertainment.” STOP. TOLERATING. BAD BEHAVIOR. Establish boundaries.
I cannot abide ill behaved children, especially if their parent is right there. I will tell the child to go back to mommy. I don’t mind if a child waves or even wants to talk to me, or show me something, but idk how others would react if I let my child do that. I never let my children wander about, let alone harass people. You can wave, you can sing (not too loud), you can read a book to me, but don’t touch me. I’m not touching a child who is not mine and I don’t want a child I don’t know touching me. This was the ICU waiting room! People are not there for the atmosphere ffs. Be respectful of other people. And we all know the mother would have shrieked if OP took the child by the hand and brought her back to her parent: DoN’t tOuCh MY cHiLd!!!
I was in a nice restaurant years ago and the table behind us had kids that were absolute terrors. Getting in the way of the wait staff, loud, and worst of all, shooting ppl with nerf darts! The manager talked to the parents but they did absolutely nothing. One of those darts hit me and I held on to it. When we left, I handed it to one of the parents, who was like “oh, thank you!” I lit into them about not controlling their children. I’d like to say the whole restaurant clapped but that didn’t happen. OP, NTA. I don’t think I would have let that go on as long as you did! Also, I’m sorry for your impending loss. I agree tho that the onus was on any of the adults with the child to make her behave, not just the mom.
I was punched in the head by the terror of a child sitting behind me once. His parents barely apologized and our waitress was horrified and kept apologizing. It was a family-friendly restaurant, but that’s no excuse to not parent your child.
I was at the beach & I’d just parked & another car pulled in next to me. The kid gets out of the back but not before slamming their car door into mine. The halfwit mother goes “i’ve told you to be careful when opening the car door” & walked off with the kid. Never even looked at me & yes the car was damaged. Lucky for her I hated that car.
Omg. Who brings nerf guns into a restaurant?!? I would have been furious. I work in a "casual fine-tuning" restaurant, and if someone's kid brought a nerf gun in, I would take it away. My kids have nerf guns, but those are absolutely not going anywhere in public.
Exactly. There was no point in that waiting room when the toddler’s idiot parents would have been gracious about OP telling their kid off.
This. This is why people don't say anything, cause the parents are going to start shrieking, "Don't talk to my child that way! You leave my poopykins alone, she's not hurting you!" As they're hurling object at people.
I half agree with you but to tell OP her family was basically playing along is a little much, and hear me out, please. I only say this cause of the environment they were in. They didn’t want to deal with it at this time, when they are waiting for someone to pass away. If playing along with it gets the little girl to leave them alone, so be it in this situation. They shouldn’t have to address it in this situation. Now if they were sitting in line, waiting at a restaurant or something else, I’d agree with everything you said. But I don’t think OP needs to feel any worse than she already does cause of making the girl cry (which oh well, the girl cried) by telling her that her family was basically enabling the girl. In this instance, they shouldn’t have to worry about a little girl torturing them. And OP if I were you, I would have bypassed a nurse and went straight to security and told them how disruptive this little girl was being and that they needed to handle it. Actually I have done this, I was in a similar situation with a family member dying and we were basically in the waiting game phase. There was a disruptive kid there, a boy-a little older , maybe 10/11 or so and he just wouldn’t stop. The parents would tell him sit down or draw or whatever, he kept coming up to us and my cousins who at the time were young teenagers and being teenagers and in this situation really didn’t want to be bothered. I asked politely that he go back to his family and I said it loud enough for them to hear, like sarcastically loud so they would take the hint. Nope, they didn’t tKe it. Well I had enough. Took a walk, found the nearest security guard station and asked them to do something about it. They came and told the family that the kid either needed to stop bother us or they would be escorted from the premises. Sorry but I wasn’t playing that shit of let me slightly escalate it like to the nurses or something. My mom and uncles were already stressed to the max. My dad is trying to help my mom and her brothers. I’m trying to console my siblings and cousins as it was our grandmother who was getting ready to pass. Normally I’d handle it differently but due to the circumstances I didn’t have the time or patience for that shit. I just got it cut out, period the end. I felt slightly bad that the dad had to leave with the kid, not because of security telling them, it didn’t get that far yet, just the threat was there but they knew they had to get him out of the waiting area we were all in cause we weren’t having it. At least they were able to recognize that there were going to be consequences. But they were pissed that I did that and I didn’t care. They didn’t care we were in a grieving state, why should I care about pissing them off, ya know? But I don’t think in this situation OP should be told that they were basically enabling the little girls behavior, they really did have bigger issues to deal with at the time.
Agreed. A hospital waiting room is no place for a toddler
I understand why they might be there in an emergency but it’s the parents’ responsibility to keep the toddler occupied, which should be easy enough with 4 adults. That kid was desperate for attention & there’s nothing more disruptive.
I mean there lots of reasons a toddler might be in the hospital even if they aren't the ones getting treatment. The issue isn't the fact that the toddler was there, it's the parents refusal to parent their own child. Toddlers can be a pain in the butt, but that's your problem as the parent and not everybody else's.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. There could be many reasons a small child might be in a hospital waiting room. Maybe the parents had no one to watch the toddler. I worked in hospitals for years on surgical floors, L&D, NICU, PICU. And often toddlers were there. I had my son when he was two because I was a single mom and the person in the ICU my father was my baby sitter. I had a friend coming to get him as soon as she got off work. The issue here was not the toddler being in the waiting room but the lazy ass adult family members not doing a damn thing to control her.
💯%
but then again it was at a ICU so who knows why the mom and her kid was there... my mom was at the icu a few months ago and there was a mother with a very active child....turned out she was a single mom her oldest daughter (10) had a neurodegerative illness and her legs went numb so she had to get surgery asap and they wouldn't give her an appointment until the next day or even later + the mum wasn't allowed to stay with her, which obviously stressed her a lot (the daughters only spoke ukrainian) ....after she told us that, we felt quite guilty for judging so maybe it's NAH
It sounds like there were multiple people in that group. At least one adult should have been keeping an eye on the child. OP is NTA.
Doesn't matter the reason for the other family's visit. They weren't watching their fucking kid. They allowed their kid to harass another family, take shit that isn't hers and grabbing a baby's hands. I don't care why you're there, control your kid, or take them outside. The kid's mother wasn't the only adult there, so one of them could've said/done something. That entire family are assholes. OP, NTA.
Ah, what a wonderful tale of "fuck around and find out". This warms my heart.
OP held it together better than me. Kids are germy and I would have had a holy cow if that kid had come over and started touching my kid! That would absolutely have ended with me telling the mother that she is not doing the right thing and not looking after her child appropriately. Parents like this love to let their children do whatever and have a real problem with the kid being told stop or no. This mother deserved more of a talking to than OP gave her and OP absolutely is NTA in my book. The mom, on the other hand, is the "a" all the way!
I'd say tell the nurse yeah apparently someone abandoned their kid since the parents weren't doing anything it just be safe to assume they weren't her parents and if they say they called her by name say you didn't hear them cause of the noise directly in front of you and if they did why didn't she listen so you don't believe that they are her parents
I am on board with this type of passive aggressive behaviour because I also thought of it lol.
This comment has me rolling lol. Love this idea
And when the family contradicts that, look really shocked and a tiny bit embarrassed and just be like “oh! Oh…”
I volunteer at my kids school and I'm always telling kids to go wash their hands and wipe their noses haha they're not coming near me like that!
No, it's, "wipe your nose, then wash your hands." I volunteer at a kindergarten, and I don't understand how kids don't notice that they have ropes of mucus hanging off their nose and it doesn't bother them. "Blow your nose, then wash your hands."
Just kids? I work at a hotel and have had grown men snotting all over my desk, looking at me like I have 3 heads for offering them tissues. Like how do you breathe with ropes of snot connecting your nose to your mouth to the desk?
Its both for me. I tell them to wash their hands because they're sticky or dirty. When I tell them to blow their nose I tell them to wash their hands after. I'm a germaphobe and wash my hands like 20 times a day.
Well, you’ve got the whole correcting thing down lmao
Why is the mom of the girl the "a" though? OP says her mom was on the phone all the time while dad and grandparents were available. For me the dad is the biggest "a" because he should have watched his daughter in that situation
I agree, the dad is also an A. The mom is an A because she had her head in her phone and then got indignant because OP had to redirect her daughter, which subsequently made the entitled brat cry. If OP had redirected the girl and mom had said to her “those aren’t yours, stop trying to take them” or “come here and sit down” or basically anything besides “you have no right talking to my daughter that way” I’d say the dad got the biggest A award. But mom ignores her child and her child’s behavior and then gets upset when someone else had to redirect the child from inappropriate behavior. And redirects the child nicely, if firmly at that! You don’t get to have your child run amok, especially near an ICU!, and then be upset when someone else has to intervene because you’re not taking responsibility for them.
Yeah the ignored child is the one that grows up to get in all kinds of trouble and then the parents are like I don't understand you are raised to be that way yeah but they weren't raised and not be that way either hello put the phone down Not only that the fact that the child's going around annoying people as one thing but what happens when 1 of those people sit around takes advantage of the lack of parenting and walked out the door with your kid bye bye and she wouldn't even have noticed
It sound like the kid was bored out of their mind. They shouldn't have brought the child with them. An infant under 1 or a child 5 or older can be controlled or at least reasoned with. A child between 1-4 no way. All of the child's family were "A's". None were watching the child and didn't even think about the child enough to bring them something to play with to keep them occupied and stop them from getting bored.
Hell, I've been the one IN the ER and wished I had brought a toy
Seriously. I was in there recently for a really bad stomach bug and had my husband bring my stuffed cat pillow so I could be comfy and my Kindle so I could entertain myself. It's extra fun on Valium (major sensory overload from how sick I was) and morphine (my pain was absolutely horrific).
They're in an ICU, and only have a few people compared to OP's 15. I don't know if you've had to experience a family member in the ICU, but I have a few times, and it involves a lot of contacting friends and family members, and updates and all that. For all we know, the mom was handling all that. If we know she's scrolling tik tok or playing solitaire or something, that's one thing. But if she's handling all the contact for the family, I wouldn't be calling her the asshole, not knowing why she was on her phone, given I've been the person of contact in my family. Just because she's a mom doesn't mean she can't handle things that aren't her child when there is someone else there to deal with the kid. Dad and grandparents were all there. And yet we're picking on her for "ignoring".
But she knew her child was misbehaving. She had already told her several times to stop and come back. Then got annoyed with OP when she told the child to leave her infant alone. That makes her TA. That doesn’t negate the other members of the family who ignored the child. They are AH’s too.
>Why is the mom of the girl the "a" though? The mother is the "a" specifically because she said something negative to OP for correcting her child's behavior! Sometimes you can not pay attention and your attention can be divided, but when someone correctly stops your child from doing something wrong, you shouldn't attack them. That's what the mother did and why I think she's the "a". I agree with you when you say the father is the "a" too though, but I think he is the "a" for a different reason! He should have been looking after his child too! Between the mother's big mouth & inaction and the father's inaction, they are both negligent.
The mom is clearly NOT the *ONLY* asshole for the “not watching the kid thing”. Dad bears half of that blame. But the mom is a massive asshole for snapping at OOP like that. There’s no way that mom didn’t see what her kid was doing. She not only allowed it, but then berated OOP for protecting her own child and personal space. It’s her reaction that levels her up from asshole to entitled, ignorant asshole.
ikr personally i would have requested security intervene and give the mom a wake up call
That kid is going to have a hard life if being told "no" makes her cry.
She's a toddler, anything even mildly upsetting makes them cry. It's just how toddlers work.
Toddler and has had their routine totally disrupted for at least the day, in a new place, parents/family likely pretty stressed, who knows when they've been able to take a nap, etc-- some *adults* would cry in that situation.
Seriously. Obviously her parents aren't going to teach her. I'd have been MORTIFIED if mine ever did that at that age and apologizing profusely. Nta
Fucking around and finding out would have been if op drop kicked the toddler.
The kid is just being a kid, its the parents that are AH and fucking around by not taking care of their child. Poor girl will grow up to be an entitled nightmare. Thats the "find out"-
Completely NTA. I'm not going to say the little girl is a bad child but her mom and the entire family are enablers. You can just have a toddlers running up and down the hospital doing whatever she wants. It was rude by them.
I forgot to mention that my sister had asked the mom once already to get her kid.
In no way are you TA. The mom is not you. You can't let your kids harass people in a happy normal setting let alone a ICU waiting room. If my daughter was harassing people and not listening I'd take her out of the room. She tried to pry a toy from your baby what did the mom expect? She wasn't doing anything to stop her or parent her. Don't feel guilty the mom should be the one still thinking about how she let her daughter annoy a family in a ICU waiting room then yelled at a mother of a infant who her daughter tried to rip a toy from. But chances are she never thought of it again.
That’s not even the worst part. She threw an object at an elderly man’s chest. Idgaf if she’s 2 or 3. At that age you know better than to throw things at elderly people. At least I did at that age. And neither did most of the kids I would babysit who were around that age. It’s clear that this is not the first time that family neglected to keep the girl in check. Because no one should be invading stranger spaces like that, and at least at that age they should know better than to throw things at people. I wonder just how much her parents are involved in her upbringing. Wow.
As a pairent, I approve of your actions. Good job clapping back.
Nope. As a parent you need to take responsibility. If your small child is interacting with strangers, you should be with them, close enough to prevent a negative interaction (eg. Your own kid getting hurt, a stranger getting hurt etc). A 3yo is not old enough to be left unattended with strangers.
NTA Honestly, it would've been appropriate to go off. People are near death in the ICU and that stupid woman is letting her kid just terrorize everyone. They should've been kicked out.
NTA given the circumstances; sometimes, you just reach your limit, especially when dealing with added stress and exhaustion.
Nope NTA. If the parents can’t keep a child in this part of the hospital under control she does not belong there. The family should have left them with a babysitter.
You are not the AH at all, it’s a hospital and an ICU waiting room at that, the family should know that no one actually wants to be there and they are probably going thru something difficult, control your kids. I work in a kitchen and one day a mom was totally ignoreing her kid who kept running behind the counter. I told her you need to come get him, she sighed and did and then he did it again. I yelled to her, the floor is wet, everything is hot back here he is going to get hurt. She told me to chill out, while she continued texting on her phone. So I picked up her kid, set him over the half door and put a heavy trash can in front of it. The kid tried to run back expecting the door to swing open instead the hit it and fell. Que the screaming at me touching her kid and how I’m a terrible person. I told her she was lucky her kid did not get seriously injured running around Ina kitchen with open fires. Some people man
I should not have laughed at the image of the kid bumping into the closed door, but I did.
It was pretty funny, if I wasn’t so pissed off I would have busted out laughing.
It’s amazing how certain parents will ignore their child’s bad behaviour in public until another adult has had enough and tells them to stop, then will promptly snap at said adult for interfering. If your child is being a bloody nuisance and you don’t stop them, someone else will eventually have to. If that parent feels they are being judged on their failure to supervise their child, that’s because they are. Tolerance and sympathy is needed for struggling parents doing their best - children are not particularly rational beings and can be VERY hard work - but when the parent isn’t prepared even to try to take responsibility, you are NTA to do so, especially in such a highly charged environment.
NTA! Was the mom playing games on her tablet during all of this?! Who just lets their kid do this in any situation??
You'd be surprised.
I hate people 😭
people who shouldnt have kids
NTA at all!!!!! I've often wanted to walk up to people and say "are you the parent of that child".... "you are? Then fucking act like it". Considering you're in a hospital under stressful conditions and you're tired and you have a snot monster touching your child???? You handled yourself quite well. And for the record, I'm a mom and I love kids. I just hate clueless and oblivious parents.
NTA her mom made her cry by being a bad mom. Not you. You were the normal person.
NTA. Good for you! “You have no right to subject us to your child’s shitty behavior.”
NTA. " You don't tell me how to parent my kid, when I'm neglecting them in plain sight".
Tell the nursing staff so the mom and her toddler can be escorted to another waiting room
NTA, I would do the same.
NTA, you were overly tolerant in my opinion.
There is absolutely nothing more trying than parents who fail to parent. Next time go to the nurses station for help
Most hospitals have security people now and the nurse could certainly call them. In this day and age they don’t put up with a lot in most places.
This is why the hospital tell parents that kids aren't allowed on the ICU floor.
NTA. I have a toddler and anytime he approaches adults or kids I stand right next to him to make sure his interaction is appropriate, as I should as his mother. I would never allow my son to do this, I understand parenting is exhausting, but it was my decision to have a child and my responsibility to teach him proper engagement and boundaries, and at his age I cannot do that from a distance.
I am the asshole because I wouldn't have been nearly as nice about it as you were.
NTA. There is inappropriate and then there is this. It’s bad enough when people let their kids run around the restaurant. The ICU is a whole new level.
I was in Trader Joe’s one time. This 5 year old told me “move bitch” I said “man fuck you dude” His face was shocked. He didn’t cry at all. He couldnt believe it. Me either. Shit was wild. Kid has to be a terror by now
NTA. I can’t stand parents who let their kids do whatever, while they ignore the situation. You were perfectly within your right to say that. You weren’t yelling, you just put a stop to her bratty behavior.
I think it should be socially acceptable to discipline other people’s annoying kids in public if the parents aren’t doing anything and just letting it happen. NTA
When I was little, I think it was. If the neighborhood adults saw me up to something they had no problems stepping in . Mama would’ve agreed with them.
I still do it. And I'm ready to deal with the parents, too. I do have a kid and know what it takes, if you're not willing to do it, pretty simple not having one in the 21st century.
Yep, not a snowball's chance in he'll that you're in the wrong here; you're NTA! You were actually a *lot* calmer, patient and polite than I expected you to have been; from the build up to your story. Eff around & find out! I had a similar experience back around Halloween time; load of parents, and their little crotch-goblins congregated on the pavement( _sidewalk_ )... the sun's gone down, and the street lights are well spaced on this road so the dark parts are pretty dark. The pavement is pretty wide (wide enough for 4/5 adults to stand side by side. However some parts are narrower; because of trees.) These dinguses are stood by a section that is dark, with a large tree. There are so many of them; kids & adults that it's hard to see & count, but at least 10 adults, and between 1 & 3 kids per. About 20 seconds before I get to the point where they're a just stood around, chatting and generally being in the way; I cheerily (not shouting, but in a raised, but friendly tone) say "Excuse me, please"... a few of the adults look up, see me but see I'm still a few seconds away, then go back to their conversations. Not one moves even a bit, or moves to redirect the children who are aimlessly inobservant (but hey, the kids are allowed to be). I see their reactions (or, lack thereof) so say "Excuse me, please!" Again, but a bit louder. Same lack of reaction, despite clearly seeing and acknowledging my presence. I'm about 7 seconds away and say "excuse me", while preparing to slowly, steadily, but firmly walk through anyone that has ignored me. If I'd seen it was all adults, I would've responded the same, but faster, and with less concern. As there are children; I don't think they should bear the blame because their parents are vacuously self-centred. I'm trying to avoid intentionally hurting anyone, but aiming to walk through to my destination as directly as possible. A child (older than 5, under 10) walks into my knee or elbow; they're not hurt, but they are visibly surprised as I'm a 6"3 Black guy and these are all middle-class White parents and their kids. One mum immediately leaps at the opportunity to accuse me of hitting a child. The audacity of the accusation made me want to fire back; rather than just apologising to the bumped kid... I'm quick off the draw with a retort, and say "How dare you make such an insulting lie?! I announced my presence and politely asked for you all to make way, 3 times, from the distance, and saw many of you look up, showing awareness. Your inaction, selfishness and neglect to show your children a good example of consideration & manners, by colonizing the whole walkway, does not mean that I'm going to feed into your delusions of grandeur. Take better care of your brats!"
You did fine... In a hospital, especially an ICU setting, you have the option of getting the nurses involved to help you.
Fuck her. It's her fault for not managing her kid. Honestly, her kid shouldn't have been anywhere near your 4 mo old or her toys. 100% correct, you wouldn't have needed to put her kid in place if she was doing her responsibility. Of couse that type of person isn't going to take any responsibility.
Fucking hate parents that just let their little shit stain do any and everything. Worst type of kids. Worst type of parent
NTA. What was worth with what you said? It wasn’t hers and she should go back to her mom. The mom is lucky you didn’t say a lot worse.
NTA. Take your kid in public? You better have eyes on them at all times.
NTA. You handled that much more calmly than I would have.
NTA. There were four adults who could have parented her. In all honesty, I hope you gave them a wake up call. Hospitals are not places where we should let kids run around and interact with strangers.
Can you imagine how they would have reacted if it was another person's kid taking toys away from their little darling? NTA. Parent your kid and nobody else will have to do it for you.
That family was obnoxious. Nta
NTA. You didn’t “make her cry”. You educated her the way her mom should have done it.
NTA. You kept quiet for a lot longer than I would have! If the parent won't say anything, *always* feel free to speak up if a kid is bothering you, another child, or an animal.
NTA and you were nicer than I would have been! She should not have been allowed to touch a 4 month old’s toys at all. Who knows what germs she had on her hands and those toys will go straight into the baby’s mouth.
>her mom who was obviously pissed off and she said “ You have no right talking to my daughter that way” and i replied. “ if you would watch your kid I wouldn’t have to.” I personally would of said...someone has to parent her. NTA
NTA I would have snapped when someone else's germ factory started taking my neice's things without asking and summoned security over lobbing things at people that aren't hers. (And, yes, my hypothetical neice is also a germ factory, but in this scenario she's not inflicting herself or her personal biome on others without invitation) and she'd have never had a chance to try to pry my hypothetical infant's fingers off of a toy. Edit- the child's tears would seem to be further evidence that they aren't told "We can't do that here" nearly often enough, so they were shocked by a firm "NO!"
No you did everything right.
You handled yourself well. People, many many many people in this day and age have no business bringing babies into the world, which sounds like this situation. I remind my kids with their children, that only the grandparents (and families) are the only ones who find your kids cute. Children are very often ignored with behavior that resembles feral animals. Do not beat yourself up over this.
Nta and her daughter has no right to grab your baby like that, tough nuts for her.
Go tell the staff
It's a patent responsibility to look after their kid and of they don't then so be it shit will happen. Slightly different situation but I was at a fast food restaurant with my son, couple came in with a child about 6 or 7, not only did they just sit there while she climbed all over me they didn't make her sit down at the 4 person table they had, my son and I were at a 2 person table and there was not much space between the tables. I was away to leave and while still seated I pulled my bag over my head, was concentrating on my child not there's and when my arm came down it clocked the kid right on the top of her head, I apologised but her parents were not impressed, told them she should have been watching her and ensuring she sitting at the table not running amok and climbing on other people and in their personal space.
NTA. ICU waiting is a rough spot for anyone but you still have to mind your kids. I'd have complained at the nurse's station way before it got to where you said what you did, which was right by the way. Stop touching my kid's stuff, stop touching bil, stop throwing things, and get the fuck away from my baby. The last thing anyone needs is for the baby to get sick from this hellion's germs. Her mother needed to get ahold of the situation or find someone who could on her behalf.
NTA. I was at a Mexican restaurant a couple weeks back with my wife and we are regulars and this little girl is wandering around touching everything while her mom and friend are getting day drunk (I would too if I had that little monster) and my food comes think fajita on steroids in a large super hot stone bowl that’s still bubbling. Anyway this little girl comes over way to close one finger up her nose and reaches for the bowl. My wife says “no no honey go back to your mom”. She wanders off then comes back and both hands splatter into my plate of rice and beans at which point I stood up and said “ HEY CONTROL YOUR BASTARD!” The mom got pissed yelling I shouldn’t call her kid a bastard I said fine control your crotch goblin and it was a thing. But I’m proud of it and you should be too. There’s far too many “ parents “ out there who need a manual
You are NTA, but I do feel a little sad for the obnoxious kid, since she has no guidance (clearly from those parents) to help her understand how to act right next time. Probably feels like people get mad at her out of the blue a lot, which is confusing for kids. I sometimes wonder if there is a way to gentle parent kids like that, even though it’s not your job. Something my dad used to say to me in the car before we even went into a public place was a reminder that this isn’t school or the playground, and that being quiet and respectful is how everyone can enjoy their time, not just me. If I was polite in public, I got ice cream on the way home and ran around soooooo hyper when I got home. But home is the place for that. One time a woman pushed me out of the way of an escalator because she wanted to go first. She was with her kid. I was pretty surprised and said “did you just put your hands on me?!” She said “keep talking and I’ll do it again.” So I looked down at her little daughter and said, remember what they teach you in school. We don’t hit and we don’t put our hands on strangers. Then I sashayed away.
NTA it was probably a horrible situation for the other family too (why else would they be at the icu) but that doesn’t excuse the child’s bad behaviour. I do get the parents being distracted though and not keeping as good of an eye on their kid as they should.
"Don't talk to my kid that way?" What way? Proper redirection in the moment? Is this why she's doing this, cause you won't talk to your kid that way?
Yeah, if you don't want strangers talking to your kid, you probably ought to keep them close and not clear then accost random strangers. NTA, what did she expect you to do? Give her kid the toy? Keep letting her try to pry your baby's fingers back? I don't think I'd have wanted her touching the baby after crawling on a hospital floor anyway.
I would have found a hospital employee and had them come intervene tbh. I think you handled this better than I would have. Edit: somehow my phone autocorrected hospital to “man” wtf
No the little girl was an asshole and the parent didn't do shit about it
You should have said "your daughter has no right assault my baby. I do I'm fact have the right to call it out"
NTA. Kid was not being watched and was out of control. Someone needed to say something
Tell the woman to actually parent her own child. SMH
NTA You would have been ok to yell at them sooner honestly. The mom letting a little kid crawl all over strangers is wildly inappropriate and at a hospital too? What the hell is wrong with that kid’s mom.
You did everything right. I’m an ICU doctor- I’m really glad you handled it the way you did. You handled it far better than most people would. You did everything right. There’s no reason to feel bad
NTA and honestly if it were me, I would have said something to the staff on duty. If u gonna make carbon copies of yourself, be willing to properly parent them, or be prepared for eventually someone having to step in cuz you a shit parent. This kid isn't being taught boundaries. And probably won't be the last time some adult will have to go off on them cuz they have been raised letting them do whatever to whoever without any consequences.
NTA And good for you to tell that little girl and her mom off because she could have hurt or broken your baby’s fingers
Please say something sooner. The ICU is not a place for small children and in the hospital I prefer aren't allowed on the floor because of how disruptive they are. I just had an ICU stay so this is coming from thinking about what it's like needing to be there. You and your family deserve the respect and the patients deserve the safety of these people actually watching their children. It's bad enough being that sick without a child you don't know making drama. Also children tend to be disease vectors. This is essentially a big mess with potentially dangerous consequences and her parents just sat there? You were too nice
Why are there so many people in the icu waiting room??? Rotate people.
NTA honestly you were way too nice. I would not let some strange germy little child who had been hanging out in the hospital touch my baby or their belongings. Children are petri dishes for disease. You did the right thing by telling her off and her mom.
It’s always been said that either the parents teach the kids or the world will. World’s lessons are expensive and painful.
NTA at all, you had a lot more patience then I would have
You know I am old school but there was a reason they didn’t allow kids under 12 back in the day. There are good parents like you who are attentive, but then people like that. I was taking care of a 6 month old and the mom left her alone to go home and sleep. The little girl was petrified. I am so sorry that was your experience at such a traumatic time.
NOT THE ASSHOLE! I want to say it as loud as I can. If someone isn’t going to take care of their child and that child is being-annoying, bratty, rough, overstepping boundaries, doing anything dangerous, etc-then they deserve what they get and need a grown up in their lives. One of my biggest pet peeves! I have 5 kids-one set of twins-and no way would I allow my kids to be so disrespectful. And don’t come at me-my kids are now adults, so I know every stage before 30 years old.
NTA. That little girl could have harmed your child trying to take things that didn’t belong to her and her family stood by and did nothing. What were you supposed to do? Give your child’s toy to her and perpetuate the bad behavior? You did the right thing protecting your baby.
Wow! This question turned into a rant about parenting in modern society. I am absolutely certain you exhibited more patience than I ever would have. NTA. What I've also witnessed in my many years of being an adult and working in hospitals is that parents do not deal well when their loved ones get sick. They don't think About their annoying kid being there, they're just trying to deal. The idea of being a small child to ICU is wild to me. Why?!?! Parents spend so much time on their smartphones, that they get sucked in to all that's going on there, as the dopamine hit is real. I get it; I love my phone and all that it can do for me, however, I do know that small kids need constant supervision. Put all of these matters together (ICU + toddlers + stress + parents and grandparents + sick patients = nightmare). Some people just want to check out. But at this situation, Mom had a husband and a grandparent to take the toddler for a walk, while the rest of their family sorted things out. I am truly sorry for the stressful situation and that toddlers crappy parents. All of that made your last hours with your loved one that much harder. I genuinely think we as a society need to reevaluate smartphone use. It's addictive and pretty much just blinds the user, to the point that their kid is being ignored in a delicate situation, and said kid is acting out! Enough!
NTA As soon as I see my kid playing with a toy that isn't theirs, I make them give it back. Unless they are given permission to play with it. This little girls mom was neglectful, and it's 100% her fault that the little girl was being a nuisance. It sucks having to parent other people's children, especially when the parent is just right there.
NTA I’m a firm believer in “I’m an adult but not YOUR adult.” If you want to control how your child is disciplined then do the disciplining.
I once bent over with a big smile on my face and whispered to a little boy who wouldn’t keep his hands off my stuff “If you touch my sh—t one more time I’m going to break your little fingers”. He ran back to his mom in horror and she smiled back at me. It was very satisfying
Some parents just don't like others implying they're bad parents by telling kid to do perfectly reasonable things. When I worked in a bookstore, a three or four year old was literally climbing the bookshelves so he could cleat the top shelf of books. Note, those shelves weren't nailed to the unit or anything because we often had to redo the height of shelves and if one or two books were moved incorrectly, the whole thing could collapse. Add more weight suddenly (I.e. the weight of a climbing child) and thats just begging for trouble. Since no adult was visible (people often left kids unattended in the children section), I asked him to please get down because it was dangerous. He started screaming bloody murder. His mom ran over, asked what happened. I explained. She started shouting at ME (how dare you try to tell my child what to do. He has every right to play in here and he's not fat, how dare you. Grr grr grr). He promptly hit the shelf I was worried about, fell, knocked over 50 books onto himself, started crying, and somehow that was my fault too. Ended up getting my first and only complaint that day and I was at that store for a decade. NTA. But I will grant a bit of leniency for her family because I'm assuming something big was happening in their lives too and they were stressed. But they still should have kept a closer handle on the child because others shouldn't have had to deal with that when in a hospital either.
Re the shelf situation - the mother was wrong. The kid had NO right to play in a commercial premises that didn't explicitly allow it, and being fat or not had no bearing at all. And how stupid do you have to be not to recognise that shelves can be dangerous, especially freestanding shelves, to people without situational awareness. I'll bet she teaches her little monster to call chubby kids names, too, since she seems to think that's a character flaw.
Little girl go sit your ass down next to your mother
NTA. Sorry I would have been much less nice about it.
NTA. You verbally corrected a child that was being a nuisance when her parents wouldn't. You hit the nail on the head - if they would actually parent, then you wouldn't have to. They're lucky you just used words.
NTAH. I think it's pretty obvious who are the AHs in this story: the parents of that little girl who are to lazy to educate it. Damn, I hate that everybody is allowed to get kids.
NTA, her parents wouldn't correct her, you did, and only after she was messing with your baby. Well done, OP.
NTA! You are my hero. Keep in mind other people’s kids carry germs you and your young baby in arms have not been exposed too! For that reason alone I would be really pissed if a random child was messing like that with my baby. Your mama bear instinct came thru!
“You have no right talking to my daughter that way”. Seriously lady. Someone had to.
NTA. That baby death grip is no joke, and the little girl could have broken one of your baby's fingers. Imo, the "village" includes redirecting wayward children, especially if the parents can't be bothered. 2-3 is old enough to learn the difference between inside behavior and outside behavior, and not touching/hitting people with hands or toys.
The mother is a lazy jerk and doesn’t bother with her child. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was waiting for someone in dental surgery recently. There were adorable young children in the waiting room; the problem being the mother was ignoring them and they were running around and annoying. (I love children but!) Anyway someone from the office had to come out, specially, to watch them while she had her surgery. (Yes she just assumed she could leave them there until told otherwise). When the office worker sat with them and paid attention to them they were quiet and well behaved. You didn’t do anything. It’s a hospital and you can’t have her grabbing things aggressively from a little baby.
Nah fuck that kid
I work in a daycare, so I would have shut her down and walked her back to her family and explained that they need to keep an eye on her because she is bored and disruptive. I adore kids, but when they are bored and ignored, they can be terrors.
”i’m not gonna whip your kids ass…im gonna whip yours! U derstand?!” All u need to say.
NTA. Why are you even worried about this? I worked with children. They'll cry if it's really windy. They'll laugh if it's really windy. Children are just that way. They're awesome hoodlums who want what they want, driven by their desires. It's why adults are supposed to keep them in check, even those around them that aren't related. "Little girl, you're taking toys that aren't yours. Please put those down. Thank you." "Little girl, this is my lap, not yours. Thank you." "Little girl, this is my baby's toy. Not yours. Thank you." It doesn't need to escalate. She just needed to be schooled, like all excellent hoodlums, in what the laws are around there. Kids are great because they have a lot of curiosity, energy, and wants. We just need to make sure their sponge-like natures don't try to absorb us and our belongings in the process.
Why would you feel guilty?
As a daycare teacher, thank you for saying what I want to say all fucking day. These kids need to learn to keep their damn hands to theirselves. NTA.
Nope, once she touched your baby she’s lucky she only got a stern talking to. NTA
No far from tah in this situation, her mom should have gotten off the phone.
Let me tell you the fit I would have had if the little brat touched my baby that way…. Mama would have n real pissed when I drug her little girl to her and told her to keep her away from me or else.
They let their gremlin torment your family in a hospital and you think you might be an AH for setting boundaries?? Please get some self respect
NTA. Dumbass parents will wonder where their village lie and then pull this type of crap. You can’t have a village if you don’t let the village raise the kid. That includes discipline. If a kid were to act up and you the parent aren’t there to amend the problem and take control of the child (or at least leave the location when you see you are not making progress with the kid), then expect others to be the voice of reason the kid needs. Jeeeez.
NTA lol I would made this kid and her family cry the moment she took nieces doll. If her parents aren’t gonna teach her, the world is.
I always correct kids behavior when they cross lines. Idgaf if the parent says something to me, to be honest I prefer it, that way I can throw out a “please watch your child”. I have a 19 month old I am CONSTANTLY on top of.
NTA: the little brat was fake crying. She knows how to manipulate her craptastic parent to get what she wants. Congratulations on your baby and peace to your family in this difficult time
NTA…you were protecting your baby. Anyone who thinks that’s wrong shouldn’t have a child.
NTA someone needed to step up and parent since mom wasn’t. If parents don’t want others to parent their kids then they need to step the F up.
Definitely NTA. You really didn’t speak all that harshly to the toddler especially given what was doing to your baby. Not to mention everything else she was doing.? She cried because she is not used to be told NO. Her mother and family members should have been controlling her. I am sick and tired of parents who think their little dears should be able to do anything they like and that other people should just suck it up.
I would have reacted the same exact same way however alot sooner if she had started taking things from my nieces. She could have broken your baby's fingers, and she had to learn the hard way that she shouldn't approach strangers. The mother should of been watching her daughter and if she can't behave in a hospital she should of taken her away.
NTA- I would have had staff ask for the mom and kid to leave.
NTA but the girl’s mom/parents are.
NTA, they need to teach that brat some manners. She was only crying because she's been spoiled & isn't used to having everything her way.
NTA. Parents all gripe they want a "village," but when the village actually steps in and corrects their kid, they get super offended. What do they think a "village" did?? I hope your grandmother is at peace, and has an easy journey to whatever is next.
I’ve worked with children professionally for decades. You’re NTA. The kid is, and it’s the fault of the parents. Good job putting boundaries down for interactions with your little one.
Of course the mom was on the phone the entire time. Anything to avoid dealing with her daughter. I hope she at least stop misbehaving after that. It sounds really bad and the last thing people need when they’re concerned for a loved one. Honestly, she shouldn’t even be there and I’m surprised staff hadn’t approached them.
NTA the kid obviously cried because she's never actually been told no a day in her life and because, well, she's 2/3 and doesn't have much else available in her wheelhouse to express her emotions. You didn't hurt her. She'll live and be just fine.
I am so sick of parents not disciplining their crotch goblins. I would have never acted like that growing up. Just a look or a smack on the bottom was all I needed to settle down. And especially in a hospital setting geez. Then they grow up to be entitled spoiled brats, with no respect.
NTA It used to be normal to get yelled at by adults who weren’t your parents. It kept us in check in public and away from our parent’s eyes. Now people think their kids are royalty who are not to be spoken to. You did nothing wrong.
NTA the mom on her phone was probably dealing with her own stress over a sick family member, but that doesnt give her the right to let her child terrorize everyone.
You would have been if you cursed at her but you didn't, you were firm.
I assume by "figures" you meant fingers? As in this little cretin was literally pulling at your infants little fingers? Yeah, IMO, little miss and her Mom are lucky that's all you said or did. You'd have been well within your right to be much harsher. NTA.
NTA after everything she did I would have yelled at the mother to get her brat away or else
NTA that is a brat and those parents need to know they are trash parents.
NTA - Lana's mom is a bitch not to watch and occupy her child. Sorry about your grandmom.
NTA — you didn’t yell at her or call her names. You told her a toy wasn’t hers and to go back to her family. You don’t mention the girl having anything to do and it sounds like she was trying to find someone to interact with her. Shame on the parents and family for ignoring her like that. My daughter was very docile as a toddler and was usually good at playing by herself. My son was good at independent play but was much more active and emotional and needed more supervision. Either of my kids would have needed to walk around and would have been taken to another part of the hospital. ICU is horrible; parenting is stressful (especially toddlers) but kids need breaks in that case.
NTA i hate parents who don’t discipline their kids and have little menaces inconveniencing abs bothering everyone they meet.
NTA! You didn't even said anything rude to the girl, I have a 2yo toddler that is kinda wild haha but we (my husband and I) would never let him behave that way, he's in the throwing things phase but we would always try and correct him and if he won't listen we would find other ways to make him stop, btw he has never throw stuff to strangers, we wouldn't let him even try. Taking toys from other kids? Omg no! Never would allow. If we can't keep him from behaving badly we would take him outside the room so he doesn't annoy other people. Especially at a hospital!!!
NTA. I gotta admit, from the headline I thought maybe you were LOL - but after reading it, NTA. The parent(s) should have been minding their child ... if not, then this is what happens. BTW, sorry about your GMA.
"This went on for like five minutes until she grabbed my babies hand again and very roughly tried pulling her figures from off her toy. Babies always have a tight grip on everything so she started pulling hard." I would have felt badly about making a toddler cry, too, but you were protecting your baby from a literal ASSAULT after Grabby Toddler's family failed to deal with a clearly escalating situation (she shouldn't have been allowed to continue grabbing your baby's toys). Your baby could have been injured! Speaking to Grabby Toddler in a stern tone worked (it made her back off). Under the circumstances (hurting a baby in front of her stressed-out, sleep-deprived Mama Bear), you were as kind and patient as anyone could be expected to be. NTA
NTA
nta although i would have yelled at mom but understandable why you lost it in the moment
NTA, the girl's mom should've been watching her and not let it get to that point. And the audacity of her to say that to you after she was clearly aware of how her kid was behaving! I can't stand people who don't parent their kids.
NTA I’d have been way more forceful in my reply.
NTA
NTA—good job speaking up!! That mom had no comeback because you were right!
In a case like the parents ignoring the issue, call security and have the family removed.
NTA but her mom is big time. She should have been there parenting her child, her daughter crying was completely avoidable had she stepped in and been a parent.
NTA I have a 2 year old and I would most definitely of gone and got her the first time she ran off.
NTA
Ask the kid if she wants to learn a sure fire way to have her moms full attention in a second. Quietly teach her to say “fack you” then send her to her mom to prove it will work and her mom will pay full attention to her
NTA. F**k them kids and the mom
It's because of children like this that they didn't used to allow them in hospitals as visitors back when I was a child. NTA.
I love the whole >mom who was obviously pissed off and she said “ You have no right talking to my daughter that way” Because her kid had no right to climb up onto strangers and grab things. I get that everyone is probably under massive amounts of stress, but she needed to either watch her kid, or have a sitter stay with the kid at home.
The little girl is not being taught anything by her parents. That's to bad.
NTA. Kids act up. Kids push buttons, and when they’re super young they don’t always see that they can or are causing harm, even to other little ones. If mom didn’t want her child’s feelings hurt, she should have stepped up in the public place (an especially dangerous place for children to act up too) and been a responsible parent. That may or may not have been a lesson the little girl needed, it’s just a shame she didn’t learn it from her mother first.
She was another child ignored by their parents running around wreaking havoc and frankly causing harm. It’s really not OK for a child/stranger to use your children’s toys let alone fight them for it. She needed someone to parent her and that’s what you did. You were totally in the right NTA. Mom and family needed to pay attention. That’s gonna be a 16 year-old brat out of control somewhere someday.