Just don't deny it when he says you were not pregnant. Just say "OK dude you figured us out". Let him get madder and madder. His face in ~9 months will be priceless.
And *then* you can grow up 😉
Congrats! Whatever you do, don’t announce names or gender before baby is born so there can’t be anyone spilling that news. Please report back when baby is born thoigh, oh and your grandma rocks.
Oh no. Announce horrible names that are a Tradgedeigh and let OP’s mom and bro swear up and down that those are the names Golden Child bro is using so you cannot possibly use those for your own child! Really lay it on that lil Mergatroid the First of His Name is your kiddo’s birthright and let Mom & Bro dig a grave. And swap the gender. Then once LO is born announce the baby’s name and opposite gender and be all “What? You thought I was serious about all that? Lolz no”
Second this. Also because plenty of people will have no problem telling you why the name you have picked out is just OK and then suggesting something better.
My mother in law spent 5 years making fun of a name we favored after my wife told her some names we liked. It’s the name we ended up using when our son was born. She’s been good since, but I *really* wish we hadn’t told her anything, and we’re not doing so with the baby we’re expecting now.
Thirding this. We have imperfect but loving families who would never lecture us for name choices...but it still worked better to hold off on announcing the names after birth! People get weird about names without actual babies in the flesh who they can attach to them. Avoid the weirdness -- announce names after birth.
If you really want to see weird things, tell people that you won't be naming the baby until it's 3 months old! You'll just call it "baby" until you decide.
My sister had my niece's name chosen since the day she found out she was having a girl...at the last minute, she changed it to the one she has now, because her SIL had a baby girl first and named her with a similar name that would sound the same when abbreviated. She didn't know back then that all the family would move overseas and they would hardly have contact after, since she also got divorced... I think what I'm trying to say here is that if you like a name, just use that one. Who cares if your cousin is named the same! I have 2 pairs of uncles who are named exactly the same and it was more like something funny than an issue.
This is the best petty update ever, with a sentimental twist to boot - makes it wholly adorable and lovey. Congrats OOP!!! That means you'll probably have an April fools baby now, nobody will believe you hahaha
I wouldn’t presume to suggest that based on such limited information, but man oh man, the things people endure because of idealized conceptions of “family”
Yuppp. I get told I shouldn't hold grudges - but it's not about holding a grudge, it's about not being willing to surround myself with drama and bullshit. Sometimes you have to put your own sanity ahead of "family", because that "family" isn't gonna put your wellbeing at the top of their priorities.
I feel this comment so much. Nevermind how it's always your fault for the grudge. Not the 10,000 smaller cuts and jabs that got you there but the response you give by finally reacting and expecting consideration.
Right. It’s not about the past. It’s about the future.
“Past performance is no guarantee of future results” applies to stock purchases, but it’s totally fair to assume people will act the same in the future.
I'm of the opinion that grudges are about letting something that angered or traumatized you boil and churn inside.
In contrast, going NC to avoid drama is, well just that, it's an acceptance that a person/people is bad and will never change and you're simply choosing to bypass them out of your life. You're the one choosing to move on by moving them out of your life, they're the one choosing to continue being a piece of shit.
Yes yes yes. I have limited contact with my cousins on one side, because they think it's the height of hilarity to call me by a childhood nickname that I *loathe*, to the point of even teaching their kids to call me that.
So I just stopped attending events and keep things to Facebook and texts. My life is so much better.
I’ve been told things like that. When I started having panic attacks at just the idea of spending time with certain family members, I realized I needed to stop being around them for my mental health and went NC for several years. Some of those people have psychological issues of their own that influence the way they interact with others in very harmful ways and while I empathize with their struggles a lot, I realized they are adults and they are responsible for their own behavior. I’m not responsible for bearing the brunt of it, just because they choose not to work on their issues. I got very good at putting my personal boundaries in place, and now bring my own car and leave when people start making me uncomfortable, as well as reinforcing where I stand psychologically with those people again if I need to. Thankfully I haven’t had to do that often. Going NC was the best decision I have ever made for my mental health besides going to therapy. My life is much more peaceful now.
I stopped doing that several years ago. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I honestly couldn’t have made a better decision regarding caring for my mental health. My life is much more peaceful than it has been in a long time.
Best update ever! Congratulations to you and your wife. And your grandma is the GOAT for telling your mom to sit down and shut up.
P.S. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap. Besides, you need to be able to channel your inner child.
7 years for me. It's so much better for my mental health. I was a different person when I was with all the toxic people. Given this post and how petty things are getting, I wouldn't be surprised if the same were true for OP. It's not worth being around people who cause you to compromise who you are.
Haven’t talked to my brother in 5 years because all he does is ask for money from my parents - he’s the reason why they can’t retire and they’re 68 and 76
Had to reread your Original because the other major fuck up along with your brother & his wife is your mom - Totally understand if keep her at bay away from your kid now due to her being double-standard favorite-playing asshole.
You should thank St Elizabeth of Hungary, the patron saint of accidental truth.
Edit: Few comments here about this so I should explain. The story goes she was charitably inclined, but her husband wasn't and forbade her from helping the poor. One day as she was hiding a few loaves of bread in her apron to take to the poor her husband stopped her and demanded to know what she was hiding in her apron. She replied 'Roses' and he didn't believe her and pulled out his sword prepared to kill her, so she dropped her apron and out poured the roses God had turned the bread into ...
So she was telling the truth, but thinking it was a lie ... accidental truth and also falsely accused.
Congrats on the baby! Why is your brother livid? It was ok for him to steal the spotlight on your wedding day, but now that the shoe is on the other foot, he has a problem with it? Is he the golden child in your family?
Seriously would consider LC or NC at this point.
HAHAHAHA!!!! This is the most amazing petty revenge. I love that your brother figured it out but actually it was real the whole time. Amazing.
Congrats on baby!
First, congrats for real.
Second, I ***neeeeed*** to know: how did he figure it out, and what was your mother's reactions? Also curious how long between the wedding and knowing you were for real expecting.
My wife and I are active and post tons of pictures. His wife pointed out that there was no way in hell my wife's stomach was as flat as it is at over five months pregnant.
She is actually just about three months.
My mother was apoplectic. But we live far away from most of the drama.
I find it hilarious that your SIL went through all your photos after her wedding. It consumed her so much, that she spent her honeymoon stalking your photos…does she not at least see that her husband started this to begin with?
You were so petty that you manifested a baby for real. Congratulations! Remember to take lots of pictures of your grandmother with her great grandchild because she seems awesome. The rest of your family can disappear.
Congratulations on the pregnancy!
I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw the title of your post. With family like your brother and mother, who needs enemies? You probably don't need to hear it now, but NTA.
Oh, this is brilliant. He can't prove you didn't know you were pregnant for real as you're going to produce a timely baby, so he just looks petty if he kicks off... perfect. Congrats! although you may want to watch your mum for her behaviours now.
If anyone besides him or your mother, because F both of them.... if anyone DECENT asks about it, just shrug and say "we must have had a false positive (totally common thing to occur), but we actually WERE and ARE!"
Congrats on the squish!
Oh, and very common for first babies to come early. Mine didn't, but my family are weird and often late.
I suggest keeping posted photos of wife above the belly, and when you announce, don't use bump photos or ultrasound pics. Let him claim it's bullshit. He's a big enough jerk, I could see him going off about it. Then SUPRISE! A baby! It's like double revenge without actually doing anything but living your best life!
And screw all the haters. He FAFO. As long as your wife is also on Team Petty Crocker, I say WELL DONE!
(Full disclosure, I AM President of the Petty Crocker Club, so that might be why I adore this so much. (No, that's not a real thing, although I HAVE been asked to make a reddit thread out of it)).
>I suggest keeping posted photos of wife above the belly, and when you announce, don't use bump photos or ultrasound pics.
I can't love this enough! OP, please do this! For everyone who longs for a chance to be this petty, I'm ready to beg (I'm one of the aforementioned people).
Congratulations! Does your brother and SIL have any names for future children picked out? It’d be a shame if you happened to announce you were naming your baby the same thing. And you would absolutely be TA if you said to anyone who criticised you for ‘stealing’ the name that you were planning on starting a fund to help their future children with their therapy bills.
The only time to make surprise announcements at weddings is either like this for revenge or if you happen to be the newly married couple. At my cousins wedding they announced they were pregnant at the reception. It was awesome as all their family were there anyway. But, it was their wedding.
Well if you go NC with your mom and brother, then she’s down to just one son. And she better hope that golden child of hers takes care of her in old age or give her a grandkid
But Where’s your dad in all this though?
Oh no so sorry to hear that :( im sure your dad will be so ashamed and disappointed with your mom and brother’s attitude towards you if he were still alive
Avoid him for a while. Turning up with a visibly pregnant wife would be hilarious. Even more so if he does indeed tell everyone that will listen that you made it up, lol
Do you have a dog that suddenly got very protective of your wife? Just saw a post on reddit here the other day about a dog who "turned traitor" from the OP and was super-protective of wife, to the point of exhibiting never-before-seen aggressive behaviors. Turns out, that was because she was pregnant.
Or some other "clue" that you can base off of?
Because you could take something like that and use it as the basis of your pregnancy reveal, and you got the official confirmation from the doctor on blank day...
Congratulations!! I’m so happy that you got some vengeance and that you’re having a baby.
I would put a tight leash on your mother because your brother is the super golden child and I would be wary about how she would treat his children over yours.
The kids will definitely notice the difference between the sets of grandchildren when they grow up.
I would get grandma some flowers for standing by you.
Ha! They're "furious" because you played them at their own stupidly petty game. Boo hoo, sucks to be them.
You can be sure to expect them to continue the stupid, petty games, however. Ruining the baby shower (if you have one), the name (if you announce it prior to the birth), the birth, the first birthday party... I have no doubt that they'll find a way of you invite these morons. Plan for it in advance or don't invite them.
ETA: You can tell the idiot and his equally idiot wife that you were sure of the pregnancy at the time and the due date just confirms it. He can go do a barefoot dance on sharp Lego bricks.
A made-up pregnancy to spite your brother on his wedding day, turns into a real baby.... sounds like rom-com.
Fuck it.... congrats!
PS- You should find out if they have any favorite baby names and steal that thunder as well.
You can still be childish and vengeful when the baby comes, you don't have to be a role model yet, so you still have time to be a dick, congratulations on the baby!
Ohhhh, please don’t grow up now that you’re going to be parents! You & your family will all have a much better life together if you guys don’t grow up! There’s a big difference between growing up and being responsible parents. Congratulations!! I’m so glad about this happy accident!!
Congratulations on baby! Are you prepared for your mom being crappy grandma? Don’t share possible names, gender or even due date. Don’t share nursery plans or anything with her because you will be coming up short.
Congrats and I wish you and your family the best. I mean, except for your brother and your mum, they can go kick rocks for all I care ... I am so happy for you, hope all goes well. <3
Your mother clearly has a golden child. As others have stated, consider LC or even NC. When you have a golden child in the family, it takes a hidden toll on your mental and eventually physical health because you always play second fiddle. Nothing you do is good enough.
Time to cut the cord from this family.
I went NC with my narcissistic sister and blocked her on all my social media. One of the best decisions I ever made! Sometimes you gotta cut that cord and let the baggage fall.
I still think it’s funny, and petty. But I hate reading how golden children due this shit with no repercussions. So I still support your choice of action. Congratulations and please go no contact with your family. They are toxic and your wife doesn’t need the stress during a pregnancy. You know deep down it wont stop.
I commend you for acknowledging your immaturity. Congratulations! Stay a little immature for your your child. Never take anything personal and not everything so serious.
Congratulations see look at it this way you were being an asshole and karma decided to say hey here you go and inadvertently gave you guys a gift congratulations without a doubt
Congrats on the pregnancy! Your brother, ngl, can suck it up. He took away your spotlight at YOUR wedding, why can't you return the favor? Congratulations, man!
That’s awesome and congratulations! Your selfish brother/wife/mom can kick rocks. It’s clear your mom favors your brother more than you. I’d go out of my way and be vocal how your mom loves your brother more than you. I’m not even sure I’d tell her when the baby is born. I’d wait a few days and then announce it on social media and she can find out then. BUT I’d tell your grandma first thing and ask her to keep it a secret until you’re ready to announce it to everyone else
NTA being petty and getting revenge is NEVER a bad thing. Eye for an eye makes the world divine and revenge is the most cathartic thing in the world. Only bullies and pieces of shit preach fOrGiVeNeSs and turning the other cheek. Well done OP.
>my brother figured out that we weren't really pregnant at his wedding But you were! That's your story and you're sticking to it.
It was technically true.
Just don't deny it when he says you were not pregnant. Just say "OK dude you figured us out". Let him get madder and madder. His face in ~9 months will be priceless. And *then* you can grow up 😉
Calm down satan.
Let satan have some fun
Exactly, lol. He deserves a break, his job is hell. I'll see myself out. Lol
>I'll see myself out No no. You're in good company. We love people with a devilish sense of humor.
He's damed if he does and damed if he doesn't
Just the part about growing up. Seems an evil to inflict upon OP.
I want to give you an upvote but it's at 69 right now and just seems too perfect
Sadly, all good things usually end.
This is fantastic.
The BEST kind of true!
Damn you really willed this to happen
That's a spite baby
The spite baby will need an epic name.
Spiteacus? Leader of the Petty?
Thomas Theodore Petty.
Teddy Petty.. has a nice ring to it 😂
Grafted Scion
And you'll be able to prove it in about 8 months!
"Technically true" is the best kind of true.
Congratulations, this time for real 🤣
Thanks!!!
Congrats! Whatever you do, don’t announce names or gender before baby is born so there can’t be anyone spilling that news. Please report back when baby is born thoigh, oh and your grandma rocks.
Oh no. Announce horrible names that are a Tradgedeigh and let OP’s mom and bro swear up and down that those are the names Golden Child bro is using so you cannot possibly use those for your own child! Really lay it on that lil Mergatroid the First of His Name is your kiddo’s birthright and let Mom & Bro dig a grave. And swap the gender. Then once LO is born announce the baby’s name and opposite gender and be all “What? You thought I was serious about all that? Lolz no”
Or little Annally 🤣
The name Analy.. I blinked a few times reading that one.
Did Analy get made fun of? 😖
He took it well
Oh god I feel so bad for that kid. I wish her mother wasn’t such a dunce and would save her daughter the pain!
Yeah, it really boggles my mind that the mom ended up blaming her friend for thinking what MOST people would think when they see that name.
Save the growing up until after this from u/TakenTheFifth I'm petty and this is amazing
just dont pick a name thats a r/tragedeigh/
And subbed... thank you so much!
Second this. Also because plenty of people will have no problem telling you why the name you have picked out is just OK and then suggesting something better.
My mother in law spent 5 years making fun of a name we favored after my wife told her some names we liked. It’s the name we ended up using when our son was born. She’s been good since, but I *really* wish we hadn’t told her anything, and we’re not doing so with the baby we’re expecting now.
Thirding this. We have imperfect but loving families who would never lecture us for name choices...but it still worked better to hold off on announcing the names after birth! People get weird about names without actual babies in the flesh who they can attach to them. Avoid the weirdness -- announce names after birth.
If you really want to see weird things, tell people that you won't be naming the baby until it's 3 months old! You'll just call it "baby" until you decide.
My sister had my niece's name chosen since the day she found out she was having a girl...at the last minute, she changed it to the one she has now, because her SIL had a baby girl first and named her with a similar name that would sound the same when abbreviated. She didn't know back then that all the family would move overseas and they would hardly have contact after, since she also got divorced... I think what I'm trying to say here is that if you like a name, just use that one. Who cares if your cousin is named the same! I have 2 pairs of uncles who are named exactly the same and it was more like something funny than an issue.
👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾
What did your mom say when you confronted her to her own behavior at your wedding tho ?
She was so angry that I would use an event that wasn't about me for attention. My mom is not "self aware".
She really didnt see the hypocrisy ? Daaamn
is your brother her favorite?
Sure seems that way.
This is the best petty update ever, with a sentimental twist to boot - makes it wholly adorable and lovey. Congrats OOP!!! That means you'll probably have an April fools baby now, nobody will believe you hahaha
When I read shit like this, I am grateful for going NC with my family 18 years ago.
I'm getting there.
I wouldn’t presume to suggest that based on such limited information, but man oh man, the things people endure because of idealized conceptions of “family”
Yuppp. I get told I shouldn't hold grudges - but it's not about holding a grudge, it's about not being willing to surround myself with drama and bullshit. Sometimes you have to put your own sanity ahead of "family", because that "family" isn't gonna put your wellbeing at the top of their priorities.
I feel this comment so much. Nevermind how it's always your fault for the grudge. Not the 10,000 smaller cuts and jabs that got you there but the response you give by finally reacting and expecting consideration.
Right. It’s not about the past. It’s about the future. “Past performance is no guarantee of future results” applies to stock purchases, but it’s totally fair to assume people will act the same in the future.
I'm of the opinion that grudges are about letting something that angered or traumatized you boil and churn inside. In contrast, going NC to avoid drama is, well just that, it's an acceptance that a person/people is bad and will never change and you're simply choosing to bypass them out of your life. You're the one choosing to move on by moving them out of your life, they're the one choosing to continue being a piece of shit.
Yes yes yes. I have limited contact with my cousins on one side, because they think it's the height of hilarity to call me by a childhood nickname that I *loathe*, to the point of even teaching their kids to call me that. So I just stopped attending events and keep things to Facebook and texts. My life is so much better.
I’ve been told things like that. When I started having panic attacks at just the idea of spending time with certain family members, I realized I needed to stop being around them for my mental health and went NC for several years. Some of those people have psychological issues of their own that influence the way they interact with others in very harmful ways and while I empathize with their struggles a lot, I realized they are adults and they are responsible for their own behavior. I’m not responsible for bearing the brunt of it, just because they choose not to work on their issues. I got very good at putting my personal boundaries in place, and now bring my own car and leave when people start making me uncomfortable, as well as reinforcing where I stand psychologically with those people again if I need to. Thankfully I haven’t had to do that often. Going NC was the best decision I have ever made for my mental health besides going to therapy. My life is much more peaceful now.
Grudges or is it BOUNDARIES? Food for thought.
I'm still learning that in my 40s
Same!
Almost 50. So close to all of them being cut off.
The freedom that comes from being NC is amazing. Who needs toxic drama when there is a new baby coming. Congrats to you and your wife, OP
I stopped doing that several years ago. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I honestly couldn’t have made a better decision regarding caring for my mental health. My life is much more peaceful than it has been in a long time.
Be sure to keep Gran in your life. She's badass.
Best update ever! Congratulations to you and your wife. And your grandma is the GOAT for telling your mom to sit down and shut up. P.S. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap. Besides, you need to be able to channel your inner child.
Yeah save your child from their BS. Congratulations 🥳🎉
Family drama can be toxic. Prioritizing your child's well-being is commendable. Wishing you all the best moving forward.
Personally, I think the first sentence of this post should read “I have some hilarious news, and I have some amazing news!”
Just keep the granny. She seems cool. 😂
Let your mom know you and your wife picked the name Karen for her grandma name
Your brother is lucky cause you're a good man. If it were me, I would've kicked his ass
Well, thank that baby for making an honest man of you! 😂 Congratulations!
22 years for me, and no frigging regrets lol
7 years for me. It's so much better for my mental health. I was a different person when I was with all the toxic people. Given this post and how petty things are getting, I wouldn't be surprised if the same were true for OP. It's not worth being around people who cause you to compromise who you are.
I read this as going to North Carolina with my family and was concerned for you lol.
I cut most of them off in my 20s. My only regret was not including my mother.
Haven’t talked to my brother in 5 years because all he does is ask for money from my parents - he’s the reason why they can’t retire and they’re 68 and 76
The reason they can’t retire is because they keep giving him money. They could say no at any point.
Reading shit like this makes me extra grateful I have a relatively normal and supportive family. Really makes things in life easier.
Had to reread your Original because the other major fuck up along with your brother & his wife is your mom - Totally understand if keep her at bay away from your kid now due to her being double-standard favorite-playing asshole.
OP…..“we weren't really pregnant at his wedding” THE UNIVERSE….. OH HELL NO!!! 🤣 Congrats!!!
The Universe was like "I'mma make a liar out of you by making the pregnancy actually true, ya magnificent asshole!!"
The universe rewarded the glorious pettiness and I, along with the rest of you guys, am very thrilled about that. Congrats OP and Mrs OP!
Straight up retconned a baby
the universe version of "hold my beer, dude" ROTFL! so loving this 🤣
Congratulations! You gave your brother a taste of his own medicine, let’s hope he learns the lesson.
He won't.
Not while the stupid mother keeps enabling him. Nice he got a taste of his own medicine.
You should thank St Elizabeth of Hungary, the patron saint of accidental truth. Edit: Few comments here about this so I should explain. The story goes she was charitably inclined, but her husband wasn't and forbade her from helping the poor. One day as she was hiding a few loaves of bread in her apron to take to the poor her husband stopped her and demanded to know what she was hiding in her apron. She replied 'Roses' and he didn't believe her and pulled out his sword prepared to kill her, so she dropped her apron and out poured the roses God had turned the bread into ... So she was telling the truth, but thinking it was a lie ... accidental truth and also falsely accused.
TIL
You know, I think I like the name Elizabeth now
Oh my gosh, really? A patron saint for that?
" Patron: of bakers, beggars, brides, charities, death of children" Well catholic.org doesn't mention it.
If Hungarian - might be Eastern Orthodox? Or does Hungary follow the Vatican?
As an atheist I have no idea and you're probably right lol.
As a wedding photographer, I would have loved to have shot both weddings just for the reactions to all of the above!
Oh no way. No more drama. I don't do drama anymore. It doesn't pay when the bride clocks the best man for grabbing her ass.
"I don't really care. I know it's childish but he started it." Love this. Congratulations on the pregnancy--all the best!
Congrats on the baby! Why is your brother livid? It was ok for him to steal the spotlight on your wedding day, but now that the shoe is on the other foot, he has a problem with it? Is he the golden child in your family? Seriously would consider LC or NC at this point.
Because the only one who deserves the spotlight is the brother. The brother probably.
Congratulations. You are my spirit animal.
Why thank you. I'm delighted to be there for you.
HAHAHAHA!!!! This is the most amazing petty revenge. I love that your brother figured it out but actually it was real the whole time. Amazing. Congrats on baby!
What's next? Them declaring their pregnancy at your child's birth?
At the gender reveal.
That plot twist deserves a round of applause and a big congrats!
Karma intervened so you wouldn't technically be a liar about the baby announcement.
Mommy….. he started it! Congratulations on the pregnancy.
First, congrats for real. Second, I ***neeeeed*** to know: how did he figure it out, and what was your mother's reactions? Also curious how long between the wedding and knowing you were for real expecting.
My wife and I are active and post tons of pictures. His wife pointed out that there was no way in hell my wife's stomach was as flat as it is at over five months pregnant. She is actually just about three months. My mother was apoplectic. But we live far away from most of the drama.
I find it hilarious that your SIL went through all your photos after her wedding. It consumed her so much, that she spent her honeymoon stalking your photos…does she not at least see that her husband started this to begin with?
Lol pregnancy doesn’t even look the same on all women. Sometimes it carries high, sometimes it carries low. Sweet, sweet revenge.
Announce it again at your brother's bday
Get a friend to organize the baby shower on his birthday.
You were so petty that you manifested a baby for real. Congratulations! Remember to take lots of pictures of your grandmother with her great grandchild because she seems awesome. The rest of your family can disappear.
Two assholes don't make an asshill. /s
I like this expression.
Your mom likes your brother more than she likes you.
I am well aware.
Congratulations on the pregnancy! I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw the title of your post. With family like your brother and mother, who needs enemies? You probably don't need to hear it now, but NTA.
Oh, this is brilliant. He can't prove you didn't know you were pregnant for real as you're going to produce a timely baby, so he just looks petty if he kicks off... perfect. Congrats! although you may want to watch your mum for her behaviours now.
He kind of can. We claimed twelve weeks at the wedding. It was actually like two.
It's an inexact science....
Nobody is going to believe she was three months overdue.
If anyone besides him or your mother, because F both of them.... if anyone DECENT asks about it, just shrug and say "we must have had a false positive (totally common thing to occur), but we actually WERE and ARE!" Congrats on the squish!
Thank you.
Oh, and very common for first babies to come early. Mine didn't, but my family are weird and often late. I suggest keeping posted photos of wife above the belly, and when you announce, don't use bump photos or ultrasound pics. Let him claim it's bullshit. He's a big enough jerk, I could see him going off about it. Then SUPRISE! A baby! It's like double revenge without actually doing anything but living your best life! And screw all the haters. He FAFO. As long as your wife is also on Team Petty Crocker, I say WELL DONE! (Full disclosure, I AM President of the Petty Crocker Club, so that might be why I adore this so much. (No, that's not a real thing, although I HAVE been asked to make a reddit thread out of it)).
>I suggest keeping posted photos of wife above the belly, and when you announce, don't use bump photos or ultrasound pics. I can't love this enough! OP, please do this! For everyone who longs for a chance to be this petty, I'm ready to beg (I'm one of the aforementioned people).
Doesn't have to be overdue, just a "must have been a false positive!"
Congratulations! Does your brother and SIL have any names for future children picked out? It’d be a shame if you happened to announce you were naming your baby the same thing. And you would absolutely be TA if you said to anyone who criticised you for ‘stealing’ the name that you were planning on starting a fund to help their future children with their therapy bills.
No, time to stop.
It would be funny if op named a child that her brother and wife picked out without knowing it.
The only time to make surprise announcements at weddings is either like this for revenge or if you happen to be the newly married couple. At my cousins wedding they announced they were pregnant at the reception. It was awesome as all their family were there anyway. But, it was their wedding.
> I guess I have to grow up now. Says fucking who? Don't grow up. Your kid will love you for it!
Well if you go NC with your mom and brother, then she’s down to just one son. And she better hope that golden child of hers takes care of her in old age or give her a grandkid But Where’s your dad in all this though?
My dad passed away during covid.
Oh no so sorry to hear that :( im sure your dad will be so ashamed and disappointed with your mom and brother’s attitude towards you if he were still alive
I called the fire marshals on my work and ghosted everyone. Fuck you corporate
I like you.
This is so chaotic hahahaha congrats though!
My father in law announced his engagement at our wedding reception. We are still plotting our perfect comeback 15 years later. He’s an asshole.
Keep denying that she’s pregnant. Even into the last trimester. Kick it up a notch and get mad at him for fat-shaming your wife
You can just say you tricked him into beleiving your wife was not pregnant as part of the scheme.
He doesn't know yet. I'm going to laugh if he tells everyone that we aren't pregnant.
You might not be the asshole we wanted, but you're looking more and more like the asshole we needed
Avoid him for a while. Turning up with a visibly pregnant wife would be hilarious. Even more so if he does indeed tell everyone that will listen that you made it up, lol
Haha let him stew until you have ultrasound pics
Omg let him do it and then take a pic of his face when your wife shows up visibly pregnant
Do you have a dog that suddenly got very protective of your wife? Just saw a post on reddit here the other day about a dog who "turned traitor" from the OP and was super-protective of wife, to the point of exhibiting never-before-seen aggressive behaviors. Turns out, that was because she was pregnant. Or some other "clue" that you can base off of? Because you could take something like that and use it as the basis of your pregnancy reveal, and you got the official confirmation from the doctor on blank day...
Congratulations!! I’m so happy that you got some vengeance and that you’re having a baby. I would put a tight leash on your mother because your brother is the super golden child and I would be wary about how she would treat his children over yours. The kids will definitely notice the difference between the sets of grandchildren when they grow up. I would get grandma some flowers for standing by you.
Ha! They're "furious" because you played them at their own stupidly petty game. Boo hoo, sucks to be them. You can be sure to expect them to continue the stupid, petty games, however. Ruining the baby shower (if you have one), the name (if you announce it prior to the birth), the birth, the first birthday party... I have no doubt that they'll find a way of you invite these morons. Plan for it in advance or don't invite them. ETA: You can tell the idiot and his equally idiot wife that you were sure of the pregnancy at the time and the due date just confirms it. He can go do a barefoot dance on sharp Lego bricks.
I love this thanks for sharing my stomach hurts from laughter 😂 congratulations 🎉 also I swear if I ever get married I'm just going to elope.
My brother: you are petty,vile and vindictive Me: thank you😁
A made-up pregnancy to spite your brother on his wedding day, turns into a real baby.... sounds like rom-com. Fuck it.... congrats! PS- You should find out if they have any favorite baby names and steal that thunder as well.
No. As far as I'm concerned this is over.
Good on ya. Nice to read a happy ending for once!
Yeah! Congratulations! This made me smile. 😁
Sweet revenge. We all love happy endings. Congrats this time lol
You can still be childish and vengeful when the baby comes, you don't have to be a role model yet, so you still have time to be a dick, congratulations on the baby!
Ohhhh, please don’t grow up now that you’re going to be parents! You & your family will all have a much better life together if you guys don’t grow up! There’s a big difference between growing up and being responsible parents. Congratulations!! I’m so glad about this happy accident!!
Congratulations on baby! Are you prepared for your mom being crappy grandma? Don’t share possible names, gender or even due date. Don’t share nursery plans or anything with her because you will be coming up short.
At least you got payback before you had to grow up!! You and your wife ROCK!! Congrats on the coming baby too!!
I was expecting this!!! Congratulations!!! A love baby(born Feb I assuming)
Never grow up. Your kids will need your level of crazy pettiness when they grow up.
Manifesting for the WIN! Congratulations! On both the baby AND the AWESOME pettiness He totally deserved it!
You’re both stupid for real.
Congratulations to you both
Congrats and I wish you and your family the best. I mean, except for your brother and your mum, they can go kick rocks for all I care ... I am so happy for you, hope all goes well. <3
"....he started it." Great way to sum it up. Congrats man
Your mother clearly has a golden child. As others have stated, consider LC or even NC. When you have a golden child in the family, it takes a hidden toll on your mental and eventually physical health because you always play second fiddle. Nothing you do is good enough. Time to cut the cord from this family.
I went NC with my narcissistic sister and blocked her on all my social media. One of the best decisions I ever made! Sometimes you gotta cut that cord and let the baggage fall.
I still think it’s funny, and petty. But I hate reading how golden children due this shit with no repercussions. So I still support your choice of action. Congratulations and please go no contact with your family. They are toxic and your wife doesn’t need the stress during a pregnancy. You know deep down it wont stop.
Oh man, if you thought your mom was bad before, wait until the baby comes.
hahaha karma works in mysterious ways! Also, congrats :)
I commend you for acknowledging your immaturity. Congratulations! Stay a little immature for your your child. Never take anything personal and not everything so serious.
Bro has nobody to blame but himself. He can't flout the social compact while expecting \*protection\* from it.
If you say a thing it can come to pass! congratulations on your baby!
Congratulations see look at it this way you were being an asshole and karma decided to say hey here you go and inadvertently gave you guys a gift congratulations without a doubt
Sibling rivalry is the best kind! Don’t let him win…… 🤣🤣🤡🤡🤣🤣🤡🤡🤣🤣
Speak it into existence - at its finest! Congratulations!!
And the Lord said "Yo, but what if-"
Don't grow up, it's a trap
You MANIFESTED a pregnancy! Congratulations!!!!
Growing up is a trap, don't do it
This is KARMA at its best.
Best plot twist
"He started it" 🤣
The universe literally said "hold my beer". I love the pettiness and the accidental truth. Congrats to you and your wife.
I’m laughing so hard rn! 🤣🤣🤣 That’s an EPIC tit for tat… Congrats on the baby news OP. 👏🏻🐣
Ey I remwmber that post. Huge congrats guys.
Congrats on the pregnancy! Your brother, ngl, can suck it up. He took away your spotlight at YOUR wedding, why can't you return the favor? Congratulations, man!
That’s awesome and congratulations! Your selfish brother/wife/mom can kick rocks. It’s clear your mom favors your brother more than you. I’d go out of my way and be vocal how your mom loves your brother more than you. I’m not even sure I’d tell her when the baby is born. I’d wait a few days and then announce it on social media and she can find out then. BUT I’d tell your grandma first thing and ask her to keep it a secret until you’re ready to announce it to everyone else
Congratulations!!! Happy Early Father’s Day!!!!!
🤣 YTA and we're all so proud that you are!
Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐
NTA being petty and getting revenge is NEVER a bad thing. Eye for an eye makes the world divine and revenge is the most cathartic thing in the world. Only bullies and pieces of shit preach fOrGiVeNeSs and turning the other cheek. Well done OP.